Your News, My Views 01.10.06
Posted by Larry Csonka on 01.09.2006
Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
First of all I want to start with some BIG news. The news is that we have launched the 411 Wrestling Hall of Fame! Oh yes, yesterday I introduced the Hall with a little introductory column to get things rolling. Today if you go to that link, you will see the first inductee of the class of 2006. Starting today, there will be a bio posted everyday for 11-days revealing a new member each day. We have worked very hard on this new addition to 411, and as it is my baby I hope you enjoy it.
What happened to my crew who used to send in shit huh? I DEMAND SATISFACTION!
I'll give them credit; it was unexpected booking for once and I actually am kinda excited for Raw tonight.
As they replay the stuff from the PPV, Matt Hardy cries like a bitch.
Cena is gonna be pissed yo.
Rock on with Cena's opening promo.
Dear lord Lita is skank-a-licious!
Lita's promo, not so much.
Lita went down on Vince? I am not shocked.
Dear Edge,
Please get rid of that hideous belt.
Love,
Larry
Trish, Mickie and Lillian, all looking FINE!
Haha, Crazy Mickie!
HOLY SHIT! RVD AT THE RUMBLE!
Roid rage!
Rob Conway still works here?
Chavito!
Sweet, Chavo in the Rumble makes me happy.
Shelton's Mamma is going to get old eventually, but she is damn funny for now. Fun fact about Shelton's mom; Vince McMahon was very angry when Thea Vidale showed up because she wasn't nearly as fat as he wanted Shelton's "Mamma" to be. Thus, she is wearing a fat suit they had constructed for her. Shelton's real Mamma is not in the role because she is well-spoken, not especially overweight, and not stereotypical enough.
This is an interesting tag match.
HBK and Kurt have potty mouth!
Damn Carlito is getting over.
Oh Kurt you heel you!
HBK is bleeding again, nice.
HBK actually getting the one up on Angle and standing on the ramp all covered in blood with that smirk was nice.
They are pissing away Angle vs. HBK on TV…again?
Candice, Victoria and Torrie all in bed. **Boop**
Shelton's Mamma and Shelton are here!
Val on Raw…YAY!
Memo to Val, drop the pink boots yo.
Mamma went gangsta and stabbed Val!
Kane vs. Snitsky…joy.
Edge didn't outsmart anyone…lol
Edge has a little video prepared for us, what a guy!
FLAIR!
Oh noes! Bad news for the Nature Boy!
CONCHAIRTO! Holy crap, Flair is dead.
Damn, she found a shirt. As well, FU on the whore is good!
WWE news, notes and happenings:
Your News: The belief remains that Batista tore his triceps last night at the Smackdown house show. He either already has or will later today meet with Dr. James Andrews in Birmingham for a full evaluation.
When WWE believed that Batista would need time off due to his lat injury a few weeks back, they had decided to put the World Title on Randy Orton. However, Batista then changed plans and continued to work a full schedule, allowing WWE to cancel the title change. With Batista now surely needing time off, it remains to be seen what WWE will do with the World Title.
My Views: Bad, bad news which I wrote about yesterday. They are in a shit storm on Smackdown right now. Someone from Raw needs to be moved to help out as SD stars are dropping left and right. Also, suck it up, kiss some ass, say your sorry and bring Brock back. My suggestion? Have Big Dave vacate the title on Smackdown this week and have Vince come out and say that the title will be up for grabs…at the ROYAL RUMBLE! They can make the qualifying matches important, and also take a note from TNA. When they get to two men, they go to a regular match requiring a pin to win the title. I think this would be a good way to deal with the situation, probably the best right now considering the circumstances. Also, RVD returns at the Rumble…make it a special night I say!
Your News: According to the latest Wrestling Observer Newsletter Johnny Ace has been given word from Vince McMahon himself to sign anybody TNA is interested in, even if it is guys the E just recently cut. Office workers have been told the idea is to sign them with lengthy no-compete clauses, then bury them on TV so that by the time they can go to TNA, they are damaged goods to the fans. According to the report, WWE management sees this as a possibly pivotal year for TNA, and doesn't want them to become legit competition.
My Views: On one hand this is a brilliant business move by the WWE. They are doing whatever it sees fit to keep their #1 spot. The problem I have with this is that downsides they are paying are shit these days and they are possibly ruining these careers in the long-term by playing this bullshit game. Spanky, Noble, Haas, this is what you signed on for guys. Maybe Bishoff still has a job in the office, this is sneaky and smells of him.
Your News: Here is the latest on Paul Heyman's WWE status. His contract officially ended December 31, 2005. He is in Louisville tonight for the OVW TV Tapings and it is believed that the two sides have either worked out a new deal or that Paul is working with the company while they finalize a deal.
More on Paul Heyman is that he is working out a "long-term" extension of his old contract. If they finish this up, and they should since there are no issues holding them up, Paul Heyman could be signed to the WWE for a very long time.
My Views: This is a very smart move by the E. Heyman has doen well with OVW and could be a huge asset as the headman in OVW. Look at it this way, ECW was basically an OVW when it was around for the E and now it is totally official. This allows them to have him help build the future and get them ready for TV (hopefully.) Also, it keeps him away from TNA so he can't do any damage against the E. And don't expect him to book SD anytime soon.
Your News: For those of you wondering, former WWE Referee Tim White is not actually dead. At the Armageddon PPV, WWE filmed a sketch where White was depressed, grabbed a shotgun and walked off screen, and the audience heard the weapon fire.
WWE filmed a new segment for Smackdown with White, where it is revealed that he shot himself in the foot and now has his foot all bandaged. Josh Mathews is the one interviewing him again, and asks White if he has any New Year's Resolutions. White shoves him away and grabs a box marked "Rat Poison." He then tips his chair back and looks to "eat the poison."
My Views: This is stupid. I really want to too see how the company reacts when one of their stars does commit suicide.
Your News: Stephanie (McMahon) Levesque and her husband, Paul Levesque (Triple H), are happy to announce that they are expecting their first child.
My Views: Congratulations. El HHHijo De Game will be headlining WrestleMania 42 against Shane's one for control of the company.
Your News: World Wrestling Entertainment and Juventud have come to terms on a release from his contract. WWE wishes Juventud the best in all future endeavors. Juvi has always been known as a rebel and while he wasn't as bad as in the past while with WWE, he was not a model employee. Juvi often did not listen to what the WWE road agents told him about his moves and style and did what he wanted to do in the ring. Many of his friends were disappointed to see him blow his shot in WWE, especially that he is older now. Super Crazy and Psicosis, fearing that his behavior would rub off on them, asked WWE management to be separated from him on air. Most feel that Juvi's behavior has cost him stardom as he was considered to be a far better wrestler than Rey Mysterio in the early 90s. In WCW, he became infamous after he danced naked in an Australia hotel hallway while high on drugs. What seemed to be the final straw and cause the release is that Juvi and Kid Kash went over their scheduled match time by several minutes on Tuesday's Smackdown tapings.
My Views: It's a shame. Juvi is such a waste of talent. He is extremely talented, but in the last years since that incident in WCW he has gotten progressively worse. He had attitude problems, is difficult to work with. What else is bad is that this ends up hurting people, like TNA's Jerry Lynn. I would say that this hurts the Smackdown brand, but they never push cruisers for more than a month or so at a time. It is a shame, because Juvi could have gone down as an all time great as far a lightweights go, but I highly doubt that will happen.
Your News: Mike "The Miz" made his last official appearance for Deep South Wrestling last evening. He will now report to OVW where he will start working with Chris Cage as a tag team, which has been in the works for a while.
Former WCW wrestler Dave Taylor has been signed by WWE to be a trainer for Deep South Wrestling.
My Views: Once again, I would love to get excited about a tag team, but if they end up on Raw they are DONE before they start.
Now, DAVE FN TAYLOR is cool. Dude was awesome in TNA as the leader of "Team UK" in one of the X Cup series, true heel manager and all. This will be a good addition to the developmental system.
Your News: Mark Henry's bio has been added to the Smackdown superstars page on WWE.com. Henry's 10 year contract is due to end later this year, and there are no plans to continue the relationship after the deal ends. Mark Henry managed to stay with WWE during his 10 year deal despite WWE putting him in some very questionable angles. Many think that WWE put him in such angles (Mae Young, Sammy, etc.) in hopes of getting him to quit, but he never did.
My Views: Just fire him now. Pay him the rest of his cash for the year, we don't need him hurting anyone else.
Your News: Once again this week, TNA mentions invaded WWE Byte This. One caller got on and asked about Sting coming to TNA. Another called plugged TNAwrestling.com and another called asked Byte This host Todd Grisham why he dodges TNA questions. Todd also made mention of a fan in the WWE chat room saying "TNA sucks." These mentions will likely be removed from the archived version of Byte This on WWE.com.
My Views: Ignore them, more on Todd. You look like a tool when you respond so childishly.
TNA fans, it isn't funny, grow the fuck up.
Your News: William Regal Interview Notes:
How is Paul coming along? Do you think he could be the WWE's first ever British world champion?
I think the sky is the limit for Paul and I don't see why he can't go all the way and win the world championship. He's definitely got the potential for it. As long as he keeps his head together he'll be fine.
It's actually really good for Paul right now that we're not on TV every week. He's getting that time to season himself on house shows, so by the time he gets a good role he'll be ready for it.
The only way you get really good at what we do is to perform in front of live crowds - you can't learn your craft doing short TV matches.
Do you watch TNA and Ring Of Honor? If so, what do you think of them?
I've only seen bits of TNA, as I'm always working when it's on, but some of the guys who work for Ring Of Honor send me their DVDs.
I have huge interest in Bryan Danielson, who I put a lot of time into training, and Samoa Joe.
I called Joe after he sent me a copy of his ROH match with Kenta Kobashi to thank him, because I thought it was amazing.
It's an honor when Joe calls me to ask how he can improve. I tell him: "You're doing a lot better than I am - it should be me asking you!"
Training Bryan Danielson is the proudest thing I've ever done in wrestling. He wears my boots, my trunks and does a lot of the stuff I showed him.
Bryan is such a nice person and is turning into a great wrestler. He watches every single match on every single show, he even gets tapes sent over from England.
He could have been in the WWE years ago if he wanted, they've offered him a job but he doesn't want to come.
Bryan knows he's better off where he is. He gets to work every week, making a decent living and doing the matches he wants to do. He is also talking about going back to college.
I would tell everyone to get that experience before coming to the WWE, just take your bags and go around the world.
There's a new guy we've got in Ohio Valley called Ken Doane, who is only 19. He asked me for my advice the other week and I told him to quit!
If you come in to the WWE at 19-years-old and only know one style of wrestling, then by the time you're 25 your face will be worn out.
Harry Smith, Davey Boy's son, has listened to the advice of me and Chris Benoit and is wrestling all over the world learning different styles.
When Harry comes in, he'll be something special already.
My Views: Just wanted to share that with you. And if anyone in the UK can hook me up with a copy of this book I will love you forever!
Your News: During the Smackdown taping in Wilkes Barre, PA last evening, an Independent worker was kicked out of the locker room for a breach of etiquette. The worker apparently moved Teddy Long's belongings so he could take his "spot" in the locker room and that didn't go over too well.
My Views: How stupid is this dude? DUMMY, DUMMY, DUMMY! The E takes locker room etiquette VERY seriously. Consider yourself fucked.
And now for something yummy…
I know I feel happy…HANDS OFF PUNK!
TNA stories, scuttlebutt and rumors:
Your News: - The 12/31 edition of Impact which aired at 8PM ET did a 0.8 rating.
- The 30-minute Impact midnight special did a 0.7 rating.
- The 90-minute replay of those shows on Monday did a 0.5 rating.
My Views: Good news indeed. TNA either has a growing fan base or a very loyal one. The fact that they did so well on the holidays has to be a good sign for the company, especially if they want to gain a better time slot.
Your News: TNA and SpikeTV continue to discuss the prospects of airing an Impact primetime special on Monday, February 14th. RAW will not air that night due to being preempted by USA Network for the annual dog show. The special is considered to be likely at this point, but not confirmed.
My Views: There are three possibilities being tossed around. A live special, a taped special and or a best of TNA show.
LIVE SHOW: Someone said to me that this would be bad because TNA doesn't know how to run live. I laughed. They have been producing live monthly PPV for over a year and ran over 100 2-hour live PPV's back in the day. They know how to run it, and it wouldn't be a bad deal.
TAPED SHOW: The advantage to this is that they can clean up stuff and edit, and they are used to that.
BEST OF SHOW: Some think this is a bad idea, but I think it could work. They have PLENTY of stuff from the last year that could fill a 2-hour best of special with no problems.
MY TAKE: Balls to the walls boys, prove that you deserve a better spot and go live baby!
Your News: - Sting was backstage at the Impact taping and is said to be in great shape.
- Samoa Joe is backstage and appears to be fine after suffering an ankle injury over the weekend.
- Former WCW star Norman Smiley is backstage at Impact.
- Sabu will be returning to the promotion shortly.
- ROH star Homicide is made his in-ring debut during the taping. He is nursing an injured shoulder so he will likely only work tag matches for now.
My Views: He damn well better look good for $500,000 a year.
Good to hear that Joe's injury isn't that serious.
BIG WIGGLE BABY! Norman is good people and a hell of a worker. They could do worse for enhancement talent.
Homicide has some shitty luck. Just as he gets to TNA he gets that horrible shoulder injury. He's supposed to carry the team work wise, and if he is too banged up he won't be able to do that. I hope he makes some good coin with TNA so he can get his shoulder taken care of properly.
Your News: 1PW has announced that TNA's Jeremy Borash will be flying to the UK this weekend to film footage at some of their shows. The footage will be used on TNA's new "Global Impact" segment that airs on Impact.
My Views: Great idea. I love when WWE or TNA show footage from other shows in International markets. It's a change of pace and adds to the shows.
Your News: Here's an update on former Team Canada Member Johnny Devine: "For those of you that keep asking, I am scheduled for surgery January 27th to fix the hernia surgery I had in '04 after getting stabbed. I will be out another six weeks and then back in the gym and ring around mid-March. My resolve to return to TNA has never been greater and the fire in me to remake my name is volcanic in its intensity!"
My Views: Sucks that he has to have another surgery for that. I liked Devine, nothing "really special" but he was solid and worked well in the matches he had. A hell of a lot better than A1 in my opinion. Good luck dude, and I hope it goes well.
Everything else that needs covering:
Your News: Brock Lesnar did end up wrestling earlier today at New Japan's Tokyo Dome show, defeating Shinsuke Nakamura in a successful defense of his IWGP Championship. WWE had attempted to stop Lesnar from wrestling on the show via legal means but failed.
My Views: I saw a pic of Brock arriving in Japan, I thought he had brought his mom with him but later discovered it was Sable. Brock seems to be rolling in New Japan, even if the company isn't doing well. When asked how he though his match went, he replied as only Brock can with this:
Your News: From this weekend's Adult Video News Awards in Las Vegas, NV, Joanie Laurer and Sean Waltman's sex video dubbed "1 Night in China" was awarded the Top Selling Title of the Year.
My Views: I read that, got the nasty mental image and figured; hey, why should I suffer alone. You're welcome.
Reader Rant Time:
From "Solar Star" - Finally, the Internet wrestling GAWD has listened to the people! I agree that this should not happen until they gain a second hour, which they will by late 2006 if the momentum continues (a better time slot wouldn't hurt either). Let\'s break this down by your suggested titles: X-Division tag team titles: I agree, bad idea. It clutters up the tag division. Not enough teams to support it. Hardcore title: could have possibilities, but if they add any other titles, it should be with the intention of elevating talent, and in all honesty no one takes the hardcore title that seriously TV title: in my previous emails I have lobbied for this to come back to existence, and for all the reasons you stated. Exposure and guaranteed title shots on TV each week, with the 10 minute stipulation entered in the picture. The only question would be is if it would be considered a true steppingstone compared to.... National Title: the lineage behind the belt, and it is truly a steppingstone for other talent. Imagine the Samoa Joe/AJ Styles/Daniels feud being taken to a higher level. Also, it helps to bring others into the mix who aren't\'t yet World Championship material, such as Lance Hoyt as well as Chris Sabin. This needs to happen. Not only because it will establish credibility as well as programs for those who have nothing to do, but in addition it will truly separate those who should not be in the World title picture (Rhyno for example)
From "Nam" - I kinda agree with you about the percentage going towards the x tag titles. Tenay knows that wcw tried something out with the cruiserweight tag straps & they looked like they worked. but I think the downfall to this is like what you said. you already have great tag teams altogether in tna, so why try to split them up with two sets of tag titles? because of style? hell I remember amw pulling out a little high flying every now & then...James storm with his tilt-a-whirl headsissors & hurricanrana & chris harris with his slingshot pescado & top rope leg drop (haaaaaaa...sorry matt hardy moment there). now a television title pretty much guarantees a wrestler to more tv time. if he chooses to he can also have matches with guys wanting to rise up & showcase himself against the tv champ. I say whatever happens in tna, I hope they decide on what will benefit them the most!
From Dan - Are you serious? After having a 5* perfect MOTYC at WM XXI last year, they are going to pair off Michaels and Angle with VINCE AND HOGAN!!! They've already had Vince vs. Austin and Vince vs. Hogan AND Vince vs. Triple H on ppv's. How can they possibly think that Vince/Shawn is a money feud...EVEN IF THEY BRING IN BRET! And excuse me WWE, but Hogan/Angle was done also, at KOTR 2002 and it SUCKED and Angle won so Hogan will be getting his win back which essentially kills Angle even deader than this freaking troops angle.
How can they possibly think these are money programs? The only money match Hogan has left is Austin, bottom line, case closed, end of story. Here's an idea. Have Vince bring in Hogan as the new GM. Hogan will be a face GM, and Vince will be there as the heel annoying HBK (first in chamber, first in Rumble and so on). Angle, being Vince's boy aides in the abuse of Michaels until BAM...WrestleMania: Angle vs. Michaels Part 3. Remember they never had a tie-breaking match as their Iron man match ended in a draw. So naturally they try to top themselves from last year with Vince and Hogan having a stipulation or a bet or some kind of winner gets Raw control or something.
Idea #2 to make Mania better: Have Edge cash in his MITB shot either immediately after the Chamber match or the night after on Raw and win the WWE Title. Edge is HATED and therefore Cena will be more over as a face than against Angle (who is someone the fans love to cheer). So Edge vs. Cena at Mania for the Title and reignite the Triple H/Flair feud since that is tied at 1-1 and have the major blowoff Career Match between Triple H and Flair. Triple H can then go after the Title with no Big Show, or Flair to worry about and beat Cena at Summerslam.
I hate the WWE Booking and Vince and this makes me love TNA so much more.
Thanks for the emails!
And now for a laugh…
Signs that you watch way too much wrestling!
- When a co-worker wins an award you thought you should have, you steal theirs or you go out and have your own made.
- You call TNA asking for information on taking classes from Professor Mike Tenay.
- You demand that they play your entrance music when you come into a room.
- Every sentence starts with "You know, Mean Gene"
- You call everyone brother and you are not a Christian.
- You ask every guitar player you know if he would hit someone over the head with it.
- You find websites like this one and hang around them for weeks.
- Every time you watch the movie 2001 you wonder why Flair never sued them for stealing his music.
- In your resume under experience you write, "I'm the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be"
- You suspect your best friend is just setting you up for a heel turn.
- You make the football team & instead of ordering a letter jacket you wear a Flair robe with your schools logo on it to class.
- You pose in a photo with a few friends and instinctively flash the "Four Horsemen" sign.
- You begin to shake someone's hand in public but then hesitate to look for the crowd's response.
- You get into a real fight and you blade.
- Your job is your gimmick
- You claim that your favorite sports teams were "jobbed".
- You call any kind of fan a "mark".
- You flex in front of every mirror..
- If you feel the need to do a Flair impersonation before going on Space Mountain.
- You attend a graduation, and yell "Ooooooh yeah!" when 'Pomp and Circumstance' plays.
- You buy your four year old daughter a Ric Flair doll instead of Ken to go with her Barbie collection (Benoit actually.)
- You shatter your knee-cap giving your friend a Tombstone Piledriver on concrete
- You're not embarrassed anymore to go into a store and rent a wrestling video.
- You walk into a party you tell them to "cut the music"
- You think John the Baptist Bladed.
- Your four year old gives the Superfly sign before she jumps on you (True)
- You keep waiting for run-ins during boxing matches
- You think a fashion statement is a black trench coat!
- You watch Star Search standup comedy acts, and say the first guy had a good workrate, but the second guys was as good with high spots galore. Then you say this battle was a 4 star match, but Ed McMahon's a terrible announcer and the crowd had minimal heat.
- You win a fight and afterwards you start posing
- You think Elvis being dead is a angle
- You have a fight but charge people to watch it.
- At a sporting event that foreign countries are competing you yell USA!USA!
- You play "name that wrestler" like you play "name that tune" in as few notes from their theme music as possible.
- You vividly remember the first time you ever met a wrestler outside of the venue in public.
- You call your buddy on the phone before/during/after any tv wrestling show and discuss it for at least 30 minutes in complete detail including how all of the events will tie together at some ppv that has not even been booked.
- You make vacation plans as to not to miss any wrestling if a tv with proper channels is not accessible
- Your three year old says "Daddy, let's play Wrestling"
- You spit out your gum and slap it
- You do heel turns on your best friends for no reason
- You don't understand why there are wars when a steel-cage grudge match could settle things.
- Your bathrobe has your name on the back, in sequins.
- Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper.
- Any Japanese or Mexican colleagues are praised for their workrate.
- Can you remember the last time you didn't watch wrestling on Monday night?
- When you put your kids to bed, you tell them to "Rest In Peace"
- You and your co-workers decide to go to rival or competitor and say "We're taking over!"
- You're getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.
- You giggle when someone says they've got a 'job' to do.
- On a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown"
- You search & search the bible for the book of Austin.
- You call your group of friends a stable
- You go to a dance and start dancing like Alex Wright.
- You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask.
- You know more about wrestlers than your own family.
- You go to IHOP to see if Dusty Rhodes is in the pancake eating hall of fame.
- You communicate more with people on the net more than your own family.
Pimpin ain't easy…but the money keeps getting better!
