The 10th Day News Report for 1.11.06
Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 01.11.2006
The curse of my birthday made Edge WWE Champion. I’m sorry.
No mail this week. Thank Kevin Von Erich.
NEWS AND NOTES
-Yesterday WWE.com officially recognized the injury to Batista by posting a note about it on the site. Batista suffered a tricep tear in a match against Mark Henry at a Smackdown house show over the weekend. The company is apparently not blaming Henry for the incident. Some are even blaming Batista for not taking time rehab his other injuries and trying to overcompensate in the ring. The inside word, meaning somebody knows a janitor at Titan Towers, is that Batista will not be back until after Wrestlemania. When it looked like Batista would be missing some time a few months ago due to a lat tear the plan was to move the belt to Randy Orton. Batista did go to HealthSource yesterday and WWE should make an official statement on his condition today. Early word from the Smackdown taping last night had Batista giving up his belt and GM Teddy Long booking a battle royal for the end of the show to crown a new champion. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Velocity spoilers were available before my deadline. The FBI defeated Danny Doring and Scott Wright. Ken Kennedy hocked T-shirts. Jamie Noble beat Scotty 2 Hotty. The Gymini crushed Billy Baxx and Lee Great. Paul Burchill pinned Nick Berk. The Mexicools beat the Dicks. Don't stare at that sentence too long, you'll go blind. Credit: PWInsider.com
-You might have noticed a brief black screen during the Lita and Edge sexapades on RAW Monday. This was due to Lita's bare breast being exposed and clearly visible on camera. The show is on a seven second delay. Our Canadian cousins report that on TSN they cut to a stock shot of the crowd that strangely had a lot of nWo and DX signs. If you're going to make an omelet you're going to break a few eggs. If you're going to be a whore, you're going to show some boobage. Credit: watching RAW
-Make fun of the porking parade, but RAW did a 4.3 rating up from a 3.7 the week before. The overrun featuring the sex celebration being interrupted by Ric Flair and John Cena earned a 5.2. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Vince McMahon reportedly took Joey Styles aside before RAW on Monday and said that he was not entirely pleased with the job that Styles has been doing as the show's lead announcer. Vince explained what he was doing wrong and that they put on stories and dramas, not just wrestling. He had to stop acting like he was calling ECW matches and catering to the internet crowd. So all that talking of psychology and filling in the history of wrestlers and all that good stuff that Styles has been doing apparently isn't good after all. He needs to pepper his speech with more references to breasts and the size of Big Show's hands. Credit: PWInsider.com
-In your online Heat report, Three Minute Warning reunited to squash a pair of jobbers. I know we were all waiting on that. Gregory Helms jobbed some jobber lower than him on the jobber ladder. Lance Cade took out Nick Berk. Tyson Tomko defeated Anotonio of the Heartthrobs. Viscera ate Trevor Murdoch. After RAW went off the air John Cena and Kurt Angle had a match that ended in a DQ when Edge came out and speared Cena.
Credit: PWInsider.com
-At one point it was thought that Eric Bischoff would be brought back on RAW as the manager for Three Minute Warning, but there is not talk of that at this time. That could work actually. Credit: PWInsider.com
-WWE apparently is interested in bringing Jim Ross back in some capacity. Ross is said to be feeling great after his recent colon surgery, but has not made a decision on returning to any sort of full time work. Credit: PWInsider.com
-The last episode of Smackdown scored a 3.1, down slightly but still strong. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Rumors have it that Vince McMahon is attempting to get Bret Hart to be a special guest referee for a match between Vince and Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania. Odds are that Bret won't do it. Again, it would draw, it would be awesome, but I really don't want to see Bret in that way. Credit: PWInsider.com
-The fourth sign of the coming Apocalypse is upon us as Stephanie McMahon is pregnant via her husband Triple H (we think, but don't be surprised if that baby comes out blacker than the ace of spades and stealing nachos). Credit: WWE.com
-The video shown on RAW Monday hyping Rob Van Dam can be viewed on WWE.com. Plans look to have RVD returning at the Royal Rumble. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Famed orthopedic surgeon Dr. James Andrews suffered a heart last weekend. He performed operations on several wrestlers. It had been erroneously reported in some outlets that Batista would be going to his practice for treatment of his tricep tear, but Dr. Andrews was no longer with the HealthSource and was currently with St. Vincent's in Alabama. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Kid Kash had his arm broken last Thursday while working in Deep South against Tony Santarelli. Originally it was thought to be just a deep bruise. On the Smackdown house show over the weekend the injury was announced and a triple threat match was made for the belt, but it ended in a DQ. No word on what they will do with the title. Maybe finally flush it down the toilet. It's a shame that they finally get a guy in there that they seemed committed to pushing and who was fresh and different and then he gets his arm broke. I bet you Funaki paid Santarelli off. Credit: PWInsider.com
-Hulk Hogan was a guest on the debut of Bubba the Love Sponge on Sirius radio on Monday. He said that he is interested in wrestling Steve Austin at Wrestlemania. He said that some higher ups were trying to sour Vince McMahon on the idea and that he hadn't spoken to him since SummerSlam. This is despite the fact that Hogan was on the RAW Homecoming and pimped that match up. Hogan told the truth once. It gave him a rash. Credit: PWInsider.com
-The people who brought you Wrestlereunion are working on a wrestling legends pay per view. It would air on March 5th and be taped at the Hard Rock Live venue at Universal Studios. Bobby Heenan, Jimmy Hart and Bruno Sammartino are involved. No one has called me yet.
Credit: PWInsider.com
-A falls count anywhere street fight deathmatch, or aka the match of redundancy, has been added to the Japanese Hardcore X wrestling pay per view for January 20th. It will be between Madman Pondo and the Necro Butcher, who will then get their own low tier title through Marvel Comics. Previously announced contests feature Tomoaki Honma vs. Ryuji Yamakawa in a barbed wire board and razor cross board deathmatch and Chaparita Asari vs. Kyoko Inoue Credit: Japanese Hardcore press release
-Prominent amatuer wrestler Raatbek Sanatbayev of Kyrgyzstan was shot dead on Tuesday. No suspects have been named. Sanatbayev was running for the Presidency of the country's Olympic committee and it is believed that rivals had him taken out. The last President was also violently killed. Police also state that Sanatbayev might have been connected to a drug ring providing illegal substance to prisoners. Credit: news.bbc.co.uk
RAW THOUGHTS
-I'm enthused to see New Year's Revolution now. That looked like a hell of a match. I'm glad to see them putting Carlito and Masters over pretty well without them winning. I remember back in the summer when Batista and Triple H had their Hell in the Cell match we all said that it would be a perfect time for Edge to cash in his money in the bank match. So last night was a perfect payoff to the angle. However, I'm betting Cena wins the title back at the Royal Rumble. Still, there is this feel of not knowing what's going to happen next in the air and it's great. I'm going to say that was some top notch booking on Sunday.
-Great promo by Cena. Although I think those people did ride with him because it was the cool thing to do. "Allen Iverson once said…where's the bitches and coke." It's unique and perfect how Cena is playing the negative fan reaction. It's almost a Rock type thing. I'm surprised that Edge doesn't have his own belt already. I would spray Lysol over that title belt. Looking at Lita gives my eyes gonorrhea. "He will be doing something else starting with the letter f…freebasing." They're going to have sex in the middle of the ring? You know that's not going to payoff. "Edge is going to last longer than two minutes…we're looking at 2:10 brother." I used to be ok with Lita, then I didn't like her and now I want to pop her eyes out with a shrimp fork. Notice that calling Lita a bitch gets a universal pop.
-I thought Mickie James was Ashley. Is there really a difference between the two? One is screwing Matt Hardy and the other is probably glad she's not. Now I'm not sure what they're doing with the Mickie James character. I figured she would turn heel last night. Lillian Garcia proves again that as an announcer she's a better piece of ass. That ring had more push up bras than a cotillion at the University of Georgia. I don't even know what that means.
-Yeah, if I were Cena I would just let Edge and Lita go at it. Because the fans will start chanting boring and that will be the best revenge anyway. Ok, I won't speak for the world as a whole this time, but I'm not enthused by a Carlito vs. Masters feud. I don't think they stack up against each other well, nor would one make a great face right now. But we'll see where they are going.
-Again, not to be negative, but how long will the Eddie chants go on for Chavo and how long will he ride Eddie's memory. In saying that I recognize that Chavo is a great wrestler and can get over on his own and do so in the old school Chavo Los Guerreros character. I'm all about honoring Eddie's memory and carrying on his name, but you reach a point where you need to move on and he can't base the rest of his entire career on being Eddie's torchbearer. Eddie wouldn't want that.
-Props to Vince McMahon for shelling out the cash for the rights to use Peter Gabriel's "Big Time."
-She called Val Venis a whoremonger. That was a great bit. Val left out my personal favorite film of his, Blow me and the Bandit. I like Shelton's mama. They get an actual comedic actress to play her and they have something.
-Hey, Chris Masters shares a birthday with Elvis and that puts him a day before mine. I also spent my birthday bloody and beaten, but I had to pay a woman to do it. Carlito and Masters might not make a bad team. Send them after Big Show and Kane.
-Vince needs to bring Marty Jannetty back in to go after Shawn Michaels. Just because it would make me happy. And I thought we were pretty much done with the Angle vs. Michaels feud anyway for all intent and purposes.
-Now that is what I don't like about Triple H. He took a backhanded swipe at Edge for no real reason. Just to put himself over as the bigger name. We know that. Triple H just called himself Jesus too.
-I'm sure that's not the first time Val Venis had a little prick in the rear.
-Jerry Lawler has been a little too excited all night about the live sex show. I don't know if what Edge did was so unpredictable, because we said he should have pulled a stunt like that before. Yeah, I have to ask why on the bullet proof glass too. You don't have to be the smartest. I think Hulk Hogan proves that. Maybe just the tannest. Edge said his passions were super heroes, KISS and wrestling and now he's going to get laid on national TV. Who would have pegged that? Edge is like most guys, he's all talk so far and no thunder. Looking at the clock, Edge will be lucky to go two minutes. Who chose the music, the Dust Brothers? Do it with your boots on, it's manlier. I like how there is commentary all the way through this. I imagined there would be boos and boring chants and people throwing nachos. Maybe they just all fell asleep, like Lita usually does. "It takes blood, sweat and tears…but not semen." Ric Flair still rules. Make a T-shirt up. Normally I wouldn't condone rape, but it's Ric Flair on Lita so I'll let it slide. Bad camera work, they caught Flair opening himself up. Didn't Vince say that if Cena interrupted the sex show he would lose his re-match. Maybe Cena figured that Flair already had it ended, so no repercussions. If Cena had exposed a naked Lita he would have been an uber-face.
EWR ON 411
Smackdown for 1.12.06
Steven Richards and Terry Funk whip Chris Hero into the ropes and hit a double backdrop. Funk works Hero over with punches. He whips Hero to the opposite corner and charges. Hero mule kicks over Funk so he runs into the turnbuckles chest first. Inverted DDT to the knee and he tags Suzuki. He lands the claw leg sweep, but Funk gets his foot on the ropes. Suzuki protests with the referee and this allows him to tag Richards. Suzuki walks into a Stevie Kick. Hero runs in and takes a Stevie Kick too. Stevie-T. He pins Kenzo for the win.
Match Rating: 72%
Gene Okerlund is in the back with Tommy Dreamer and Raven. With the Royal Rumble just a week and a half a way both men have their stables back on Smackdown and recovered from the Survivor Series incident. Raven says that the old saying is that the enemy of my enemy is my friend. No, the enemy of his enemy is still his enemy. He doesn't give a damn for Stephanie McMahon, but he still hates Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer feels the same way. There will be no teaming up between them and their two sides to go after Stephanie. The Board of Directors has taken the bitch's bite away. Raven says if there is one thing they can agree on it is that in the Royal Rumble them nor their men will give the other any special treatment. Dreamer says that's right. They sneer at each other and leave in opposite directions.
Segment Rating: 80%
Bill Alphonso stands in the corner and just lets RVD and Rhyno go at it. Van Dam eats knees on the Rolling Thunder. Rhyno lines up the Gore. RVD dodges and Rhyno spears a shopping cart. Van Daminator. Frog splash. RVD covers and looks up at Alphonso. He rolls his eyes and makes a deliberate three count. (from Mathew) Alphonso warns RVD that he won't hold that belt forever.
Match Rating: 69%
Gene Okerlund has Stephanie McMahon in the back. Tonight she faces Melina Guerrero with her brother Shane McMahon as the special guest referee. Steph spins it that she is looking forward to the match. It will allow her to knock off some ring rust against a woman that should give her a nice light workout. Her brother Shane as the ref doesn't bother her. Melina is no match for her, so Shane won't have an opportunity to cheat her. Her brother has always been jealous of her. She got the looks, the smarts and the McMahon family venom. He's about as much of a real McMahon as Booker T is. And speaking of him, he will be no match for her man Kane at the Royal Rumble. The Rumble will be where all her guys go over and she starts the process of taking Smackdown back by force.
Segment Rating: 86%
Chris Jericho and Jamie Noble get a good crowd pop upon their in ring return. They work very well together as a team, but the Basham's veteran experience working with each other allows them to isolate Noble and beat him down. A gutbuster by Danny gets two. Danny goes for a tilt-a-whirl slam, but Noble flips out of it into a face buster. He dives to tag Jericho. Y2J gets the bulldog and follows with the Lionsault. Doug goes to enter the ring and points that Noble is trying to interfere. The referee and Jericho looks, but he pleads innocent. This allows Doug and Danny to switch. Jericho goes to pick who he thinks is Danny up, but Doug small packages him. Jericho fights out of it and transitions into the Walls of Jericho (from Mathew). Doug taps out just as Danny breaks with a title belt shot to the head.
Match Rating: 74%
The Bashams get revenge post match by hitting the Rock ‘em Sock ‘em on Jericho and Noble on top of the tag team title belts. Funk and Richards then run out swinging steel chairs. The Bashams high tail, but forget their titles. Richards and Funk pose with the belts in the ring. The Brothers are furious.
Segment Rating: 63%
Shane McMahon dances out wearing a referee shirt. Stephanie offers a handshake. Melina takes it. Steph comes around with her other hand for a mighty bitch slap. She shoves Melina down and kicks her. Shane warns her. Steph whips Melina into the ropes, she reverses. Steph goes for a sunset flip. Melina drops and sits on Steph's face. Shane makes the quick three count. Stephanie gets in Shane's face and complains about the fast count. Melina rolls Stephanie up from behind to expose her butt. She spanks her while Shane makes an ultra slow three count. Melina celebrates up the aisle. Shane just shrugs while his sister steams. (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 61%
JC Ice goes to see Jake Roberts. He has one of The Idol's pamphlets in his hand. He says he has seen the Light. He is a changed man and knows that he must take control of his career. That's why the FBI has been failing. He needs to step up and to do that he demands that Jake put him in the Royal Rumble match. Jake says all the slots are filled. Ice demands he opens one up. Jake scoffs at him. Demanding something is one thing, proving you are worthy of that demand is another. Being a cocky sob doesn't make you great. Hell, Jake had that, but he had more. He was willing to embrace the dark side and face the Unknown. The Unknown never scared him. The Unknown was something he would always face gladly. If Ice wants to prove to the world that he is a changed man and worthy of a title shot then he needs to be man enough to face the Unknown and to defeat the Unknown on its own terms. Roberts has to clear it with the Board, but at the Road to the Royal Rumble he's going to make sure that Ice faces the Unknown.
Segment Rating: 65%
Jeff Hardy knocks his brother Matt down with a leg lariat and works a hammerlock on the mat. Matt fights up and breaks with a back elbow. He goes to the ropes and hits a basement dropkick to the knee. He works a knee bar. Jeff makes the ropes to break. Matt yanks on Jeff's legs as he holds onto the ropes and snaps him back into the ring. He gets a sharpshooter. Jeff bridges up and makes the ropes again. He bails to the floor. Matt dives out, but Jeff sidesteps so he kisses the ring wall. Jeff jumps on the wall and does a rail runner into a missile dropkick. Suplex. Jeff rolls back into the ring. Matt makes it to the apron at eight. Jeff tries to cut Matt off, but he catches him between the ropes with a shoulder block. Slingshot sunset flip back in for two. Matt goes arm dragging as they stand. Jeff makes his feet on an armbar and flips out of it. Matt hits a diving clothesline. He goes up top for the yodeling leg drop. Jeff pops up and meets him on top. They slug it out. Matt gets the Twist of Fate coming off the top and pins Jeff. Post match, Jeff blind sides a celebrating Matt and walks off mad.
Match Rating: 83%
John Cena seeks out Jake Roberts. He thinks he's a big man putting him up against the Big Show tonight. Roberts says it wasn't his decision, it was the Board's. So that just makes Jake the Board's bitch. That might be true, but at least he's not the bitch of another bitch in Stephanie McMahon. Yeah, well what Cena is getting is warm and moist. All he is getting is cold, dry snake. Jake warns that even an old snake still has fangs. Yeah, and they also make a nice pair of boots.
Segment Rating: 70%
John Cena tries to attack Big Show before the bell with his chain around his fist so it's not a DQ. Big Show blocks the shot and hits a big head butt. He backs Cena into the corner, shushes the crowd and gets the big slap across the chest. Cena lurches out of the corner and Show pounds on his back. Cena turns and dives to nail the knee with the chain wrapped fist. He throws it to the floor and shows the referee his open hands. He works on the knee. Cena locks in the STFU. Show makes the ropes. Cena impresses by getting Show up for the FU, but he slips out to land on his feet. Choke slam. Kane then comes out and into the ring. He runs into Show with a Cactus clothesline to knock both to the floor. Show wins by DQ. Kane and Show brawl. Booker T runs out to a crowd pop. He leaps off the ring stairs to get the Harlem Hangover on Kane. He and Show raise their hands in victory. (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 68%
Show Rating: 69%
Velocity for 1.14.06
Johnny Kashmere comes out with a pack of women and dressed in a black cashmere suit. He doesn't remove his sunglasses as he makes quick work of Shannon Moore ending with the Kashmere Sweater (straightjacket neckbreaker). Kashmere hits the floor to find that women from the audience have joined his group. He shrugs and escorts them all for the back. He pauses to look into the camera and says "I make all this stuff look good." (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 74%
Chavo Guerrero ducks the Clothesline from New York and comes off the opposite ropes with a cross body. He goes up top for a frog splash. JBL stands. Chavo tries to adjust in midair for a double axe handle or something, but Bradshaw meets him with a modified Clothesline from New York and takes the win. (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 73%
Chavo Guerrero walks through the back. Johnny Kashmere is surrounded by his throng of lovely ladies. He whistles at Chavo and tells him to go fetch him a scotch. What? Oh, no hable Englash. Go fetchie scotchie, por favor. Nah, scratch the por favor. Kashmere must not know who he's talking to. Nah, he doesn't know who Kashmere is. He makes all this stuff look good. If he wants Kashmere to make him look good in the ring as he beats him maybe he can do that. Chavo says he's on and stalks off.
Segment Rating: 76%
Rey Mysterio drop toeholds EZ Money across the ropes. Money juts through the ropes as Rey goes for the 619 and tackles him to the floor. He gives Rey a Snake Eyes on the ring wall and then jumps off the ring stairs for a leg drop to the back. He throws Rey into the ring and slingshots in for a splash. Rey gets his knees up. Both men down. Money up first. Rey cuts him off with punches from his knees and gets a snap DDT. He Drops the Dime for the win.
Match Rating: 79%
Rey Mysterio walks to the back post match. Out of nowhere JBL decks him with the money clip. He tells Mysterio that he will beat him at the Road to the Royal Rumble and take that title match at No Mercy and he'll show Rey no mercy in doing it. JBL tells his stable to beat Rey down and walks off as they work him over.
Segment Rating: 68%
Hardcore Holly is alone. Scott Taylor has Carlito and the rest of the Commission with him. Holly keeps waiting for his guys to come out, but no one shows. He makes a good go of it, but Taylor dumps him to the floor and then distracts the referee so Lashley can hit the Whiplash on him. Decommissioned takes the win. Everyone then beats Holly down. Stephanie McMahon leads her charges to the ring. The camera cuts to the back to reveal all the locker room doors have been blocked shut from the outside. Stephanie says this is a message to the entire Smackdown roster, to her brother, to Jake Roberts, to the governing board and to her mother. She is still the number one person on Smackdown and runs the brand. Holly will be made an example of for no other reason than he's the wrong man in the wrong place at the wrong time. Everyone works Holly over. Kane finishes him off with a Tombstone Piledriver onto his car battery. The battery splits open as does Holly's head. He's gushing blood. Paramedics rush out. They can be heard talking about how they think Holly's neck is broken again. (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 72%
Show Rating: 73%
Heat for 1.15.06
Gail Kim takes Alexis Laree down into a funky leglock. Laree bridges up and flips into Kim to punch her way out. Laree goes for the Jumping Jack Flash, but Kim launches with a clothesline of her own at the same time and both women are down and out. Kim is up first, but Laree kips up and hits a snap DDT out of nowhere. That gets the pin.
Match Rating: 78%
A pissed off Kim finds Chris Sabin in the back. She asks where he was at. He says he was working over Molly Holly with the Great Lakes rulebook for the upcoming match against Daffney. He thinks he's starting to get to her. Forget her. He needs to focus on her. Sabin tells her to chill out. He's doing this for us. Molly would be a valuable ally. Kim says all she better be is an ally.
Segment Rating: 63%
Brent Albright leads Camp Cornette to the ring to "The Boys are Back in Town." Every one gets in and does a few sequences. The finale sees Albright in against Maven. Maven comes off the top with a missile dropkick, but Albright snatches him out of the air and puts him on the mat to lock in the Bitchin' Gnarly (surfboard). Cappotelli, Cade and Nowniski storm the ring. Valentine, Lane and Regal hold them off. Maven eventually submits.
Match Rating: 64%
Jim Cornette remains at ringside for his new interview segment, the Tennis Court. His first guest is Miss Jackie. Miss Jackie asked for this time with Cornette to address what he did to Benjamin and Haas. He didn't do anything. That's right. He didn't intervene at all and now look at what happened. Haas and Benjamin are both lost and so is she. Jackie hauls off and kicks Cornette in the balls. The Brood runs out and attacks Cornette. Foley on commentary mentions that Cornette's stable are probably in the showers already and don't know what's going on. Shelton Benjamin then runs out and clears the ring with a baseball bat. Stamboli blindsides him with a double axe handle and we have our next match.
Segment Rating: 84%
Paramedics come out and get Cornette on a stretcher. Benjamin judo throws Stamboli out of the ring and crashing into the gurney. Gangrel, Edge and Haas attack Benjamin in the ring. He fends them all off, so the referee lets it go. Stamboli slides into the ring and flicks his switchblade. Benjamin catches his arm, gets him to let go of the knife then gets behind him for the Firebomb. One, two, three.
Match Rating: 73%
The Brood retake the ring and beat Shelton down. The lights go out. They come back on to find the Brood covered with blood in the ring and Benjamin backing up the entrance ramp. The Brood is mad. The crowd cheers Shelton.
Segment Rating: 72%
David Flair duct tapes Daffney's mouth shut before her match with Molly Holly just to be on the safe side. Daffney actually puts on a good show. She gets her legs up as Molly goes for the cartwheel elbow in the corner and blasts her in the back of the head. He goes up for the Molly-Go-Round and scores the pin. David runs into the ring with the belt. He rips the tape off of Daffney's mouth and she screams. Windows shatter for six miles. Molly grabs the rulebook and shows the referee. Using another wrestler's finisher on them directly leading to a pin fall is an automatic DQ. Molly retains the title. Cut to Sabin watching in the back with a grin on his face. (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 72%
Team Angle is in the back with Marissa Mazzolla. Tonight the World's Even Greater Tag Team will be facing EMF. To take a page from their book, Kurt says f*ck them. And f*ck the Masked Marvels too. The Angles are the new premiere tag team in WWE. Wicks and Jeter cough. You guys have something in your throat? Getting a cold maybe? EMF needs to stay out of Eric and Kurt's business and tonight Jeter and Wicks are going to make sure they do.
Segment Rating: 79%
Jeter flips out of a Conway body slam attempt and tags Wicks. He comes off the top into the ring with a double axe handle. They double team Conway. Wicks tries for a fall away slam, but Conway holds on and gets a fireman's carry takedown for a two count. He dives and tags O'Haire. He's a house of fire. Power bomb to Wicks. Power bomb to Jeter. Fuck all the dumb shit on Wicks gets the win. Eric and Kurt run out. They mix it up, but EMF beats them off. Eric has to pull his red faced brother to the back.
Match Rating: 75%
The Rock is in the back with Marissa Mazzolla. Tonight the Rock faces Jimmy Snuka, Jr. He remembers as a kid, hanging out in the WWE locker room, playing with Snuka, Jr. The Rock would steal his matchbox cars and he would whine like a crybaby bitch. He'd go to his dad and then the Rock's dad would whip his dad's ass. History will not change tonight. Snuka, Jr. is like his 27th cousin three times removed and that makes their blood thinner than Paul Heyman's hair.
Segment Rating: 97%
Randy Orton walks out halfway into the match between Rock and Snuka, Jr. This distracts Jimmy enough for Rock to hit his snap DDT and comeback. He nails the spit punch to send Snuka to the floor. He then distracts the referee so Orton can work him over. He RKO's him and rolls him back into the ring. Rock Bottom. People's Elbow. Rock wins. Orton and Rock then beat Snuka down until Batista runs in to make the save.
Match Rating: 75%
Show Rating: 73%
RAW for 1.16.06
Miss Jackie in new gothic attire is with Edge and Gangrel. Lita is wearing a T-shirt that says "Cocksucker of Champions." (from Mathew) Gangrel lines up the Nail in the Coffin on Ultimo Dragon, but he stalls and Dragon backdrops him out of it. Tag to La Parka who comes in from the top with a leg drop. Edge looks to jump in the ring, but Shelton Benjamin appears out of nowhere and yanks him off the apron. Smoke and Mirrors on Gangrel finishes. Haas comes out and attacks Benjamin. Miss Jackie jumps on Benjamin's back and claws at him. Benjamin throws her off into Haas and takes off.
Match Rating: 75%
A video is shown recapping the feud between Nick Dinsmore and Johnny Stamboli. The match for next week with Mick Foley as the guest referee is hyped.
Segment Rating: 68%
Batista and Abyss have a wild brawl. Batista hits the Demon Bomb and Abyss no sells it. Abyss gets the Black Hole Slam and Batista no sells it. They keep brawling, fall out of the ring and go into the crowd. They get counted out. (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 75%
Trish Stratus thanks Nikki Fuller for the great job she has done so far as baby Shelly's nanny. Nikki says she's pleased. Trish says leave it to Christian to find someone with wrestling and nanny experience. She'll protect Shelly as if she was her own at all times. Trish kisses Shelly and leaves her with Nikki. She has something to do.
Segment Rating: 70%
Ron Killings plays opossum on Vader so he goes for the Vader bomb then takes him off the top for a sit out power bomb. He goes up top. Christian then wheels Trish out in the go-go dancer cage for the Royal Rumble match. She does a bit of a strip tease and dances. Killings is distracted. Vader takes Killings off the top onto his shoulders and hits a death valley driver. A big fat splash wins. (from Mathew)
Match Rating: 70%
Ric Flair talks to Molly Holly. He's not happy with the way she's been acting lately. She's been cheating to the keep the Great Lakes Title. It's not cheating, it's using the rulebook. That rulebook is a made up crutch by Chris Sabin. He doesn't like her talking to him either. Molly says Ric sounds like her dad, or more her grandfather. If Molly wants to be a member of FATE, she has to conduct herself in a certain way. Molly says that with Benoit out there is no FATE. Evolution has won and he can't admit it. You let her do her thing and he just go do his. Ric contemplates what she says about Benoit leaving a big hole in the stable.
Segment Rating: 87%
Brock Lesnar swings Randy Orton around for the F-5, but he swings through and gets the RKO out of it. Randy plays to the crowd before making the cover. Jimmy Snuka, Jr. runs out, but stops short of sliding into the ring. Orton talks trash on him. He then goes to pin Lesnar, but gets small packaged for the loss. Lesnar rolls to the floor and points at his head. He's not just wrestling, he's wrestling smart. Orton has a fit in the ring.
Match Rating: 76%
Brock Lesnar goes to see Teddy Long. He wants to ask him something about the Royal Rumble. He knows, everyone has asked. No, he can't have the 30th slot, it's not his to give. No, Brock wants to enter number one. Say what? Brock used to be the next big thing, but no one says that anymore. He is on a quest to prove himself. Legends have been made in the Rumble and to do that you have to enter number one and win. He knows he can do it and he wants the chance. Long says guys have been forced into the number one position before, but have never asked for it. He'd have to clear it with the Board of Directors, but he doesn't see them having a problem with it. (from Mathew)
Segment Rating: 75%
Ric Flair still seems a bit rattled as him and Barry Windham take on the Angles. Kurt mocks Ric as he woos and chops Barry. Barry slugs back and locks Kurt in the claw. Eric runs in and clips the knee. Ric tries to interfere and that just allows the brothers to hit a double team angle slam. Angle-plex by Kurt wins. EMF then runs out and the Angles hit the road by going through the crowd.
Match Rating: 78%
Triple H is talking to Abyss. He tells him to take out all the bitches at ringside tonight in his match with Christian. Abyss nods silently. (from Mathew) He can't be injured heading into the Royal Rumble. He also wants to make sure that Abyss wins the Rumble. If he has to face him at Wrestlemania he knows it's an easy title retain. Abyss glares at him. Not that Abyss is weak, Abyss could kick his ass, but he knows Abyss will let him win and he'll owe him one. Evolution is the force they are today because of him. FATE is virtually dead because he threw Chris Benoit off that cage roof. Triple H is Evolution, always will be, but Abyss is the best partner he's ever had in any stable. Because he knows how to take orders and follow through. Is Abyss blushing through his mask?
Segment Rating: 57%
Nikki pushing a baby stroller and Trish are out with Christian. Triple H has Victoria and Abyss with him. Triple H and Christian put on a pretty solid match. Christian backdrops out of the pedigree and hits a diving elbow for a two count. Abyss goes into action and goes after Trish. Nikki steps in the way and takes a Black Hole Slam. Trish takes a Black Hole Slam. Victoria gets in Abyss' face. Trish is all hers. Abyss shrugs and Black Hole Slams Victoria. Triple H said take out all the bitches. A distracted Christian is caught by Triple H and put in a sleeper. Baby Shelly starts crying. Abyss goes over and picks her up out of the stroller. He holds her aloft, his big mitts enveloping her body. Christian digs deep and rams Triple H back first into the corner to break the sleeper. He goes to the floor and asks for his daughter, tears in his eyes. Abyss hands the baby to him. Christian is counted out. Triple H tells Abyss good job. A win is a win. They walk for the back with Victoria slung over Abyss' back. Christian helps Trish and Nikki up.
Match Rating: 56%
Show Rating: 70%
Hiroki will be out 2 months with an ankle injury
Chris Cage will be out 2 months with an eye injury. He will be replaced in the Royal Rumble by Paul London who is the most over person on Smackdown not with a match already.
Royal Rumble Card at this time, choose all winners
30 Man Royal Rumble Match for a title shot at Wrestlemania
Order decided by random draw outside of Lesnar
1) Brock Lesnar
2) Chris Jericho
3) Sandman
4) Raven
5) Sean O'Haire
6) William Regal
7) Tajiri
8) Brent Albright
9) Charlie Haas
10) Chris Sabin
11) Scott Taylor
12) Rosey
13) Rhyno
14) Matt Cappotelli
15) Abyss
16) Afa, Jr.
17) Carlito Caribbean Cool
18) Jeff Hardy
19) Paul London
20) Sabu
21) Jamie Noble
22) Rob Conway
23) Matt Morgan
24) Tommy Dreamer
25) Big Show
26) Shelton Benjamin
27) Gangrel
28) Randy Orton
29) Robert Lashley
30) Jimmy Snuka, Jr.
Vader vs. Triple H for the RAW Brand Title
Booker T vs. Kane for the Smackdown Brand Title in a Harlem Streetfight
The Angles (Eric and Kurt) vs. Masked Marvels (La Parka and Dragon) for the RAW Brand Tag Team Titles
The Basham Brothers (Doug and Danny) vs. Get the Funk Out of My Face (Funk and Richards) for the Smackdown Brand Tag Team Titles
Christian vs. Ron Killings for the IC Title in a strip iron man match. For every pin fall, submission, count out or DQ win Killings earns over Christian Trish Stratus must take off one article of clothing. If Killings is DQ'ed or intentionally counted out Trish gets to put one item back on. Pin falls or submissions by Christian do not count for anything. If Trish is naked before the thirty-minute time limit, Killings wins the title. Trish will be locked in a go-go dancer cage on the entrance stage. She will be wearing six articles of clothing; a shirt, an undershirt, boots, pants, bra and panties.
AJ Styles vs. Billy Kidman and Torrie Wilson in a handicap match for the WWE Cruiserweight Title. If Styles pins either Kidman or Wilson he wins the belt. If Wilson or Kidman pins Styles, Kidman retains
Stephanie McMahon vs. Shane McMahon with special guest referee the Big Show
The Road to the Royal Rumble Special Edition of Velocity
JC Ice vs. The Unknown
Chavo Guerrero, Jr. vs. Johnny Kashmere
Nick Dinsmore vs. Johnny Stamobili with special guest referee Mick Foley
JBL vs. Rey Mysterio for the Smackdown Brand Title shot at No Mercy
Trish Stratus vs. Victoria for the WWE Women's Title in a straightjacket match
