Your News, My Views 01.17.06
Posted by Larry Csonka on 01.17.2006
It’s my way…or the highway.
Welcome one and all to the show that never ends, Csonkamania! I am your host, the hardest working man in the IWC, Larry Csonka! This is no cheap carbon copy here; this is the originator. Did you see Randle try to steal my heat and use Chuck Norris yesterday? Even worse he did it wrong. Kurt Angle would never have seen a round house from Chuck Norris coming. Also, I get away with just about anything I want there Stephen, that's why I am the boss. Damn Canadians.
I'm also the bad guy because I refused to let the staff vote for Lita's boob for Wrestler of the week. It's rough being the boss.
You know what rules though? The 411 Wrestling Hall of Fame! Go check it out everyone, and send the writers some feedback!
Raw-Liners!:
Raw is one-hour from me, and I didn't go. I could have, but I didn't feel the motivation; nor did I want to spend the money. I bought beer instead.
Where are my peeps at that used to send in the Raw-Liners? I miss you guys!
Contractual loophole? Right, I want to hear about this.
Good way to bury Smackdown King.
Damn Lita looks like a whore. I approve.
Man, Flair in a TLC match…he is going to die.
ANGLE!
Um Kurt, that watch was like 25, not 45 minutes.
Ahhh, his "Raw contract" ran out, well at least that makes sense in a way, better than I thought they would come up with.
Damn, I would so dig a unification. Not to end the brand extension though.
Interesting, they are opening with this huh? I figure Davari will cost Angle the match.
I still can't believe that they are pissing this match away of free TV, just like the Iron Man match they had. Sometimes I think they hate money.
DEAR CHRIST! Please Kurt, do not do that! That kind of shit will implode your neck.
Read up a few lines, I rule.
HAHA! He killed Davari!
That is such a mistake showing the great TLC clips, because tonight will be nothing like that.
HAHA! Crazy lezbo Mickie rules!
DAYUM…Edge fucked him up with the belt shot, that was nice. Did you hear the clunk?
Flair just had this look the whole time like, "Fuck you, the only reason I am doing this is because the IRS is gooching me and I am in the middle of a divorce."
Yeah, I'd fuck the shit out of her.
Coach is name dropping Big Ben, Steve Cook cries a little more.
Hey, Candice made a nice save there because Trish wasn't getting a head scissors.
Mickie snaps!
Widow's Peak! Nice.
All Torrie is good for is standing there with her dog. She has not improved at all really over the years and I expect her to be released in the next round of releases.
I like how they are showing the "TNA" guys getting an ass whooping in the TLC matches. Vince isn't subtle, he just does shit so you know what he means.
RVD BITCHES!
Where's Kane's tag title belt? Maybe they are just throwing them away and hoping no one remembers them.
That can't be safe, sticking an apple in someone's mouth and tossing them to the floor.
Why do all "offices" backstage have a picture of Starry Night hanging in them? Do they take the same pictures with them all the time? Does Vince have a hard on for van Gogh? Was he hardcore because of the ear thing?
Oh lord, it's gonna be Mamma!
YES! She has dollar bills! BWAHAHAH! CHOCOLATE THUNDA!
So who's Shelton got this week?
HAHAHA! Hey, Show has HIS tag title belt. I guess the DO exist!
Ok, Mamma rules, "You do the best you can son, you do the best you can…"
What the hell is HHH doing here? He beat Show, I thought they were done? Oh well, Shelton wins!
Kane with the mask and long hair was so much cooler.
UFC just announced Matt Hughes vs. Royce Gracie for May, I may have to get that. Oh Snap, Gracie is all like, "This is my house, I built UFC!"
Stacy was awesome on Dancing with the Stars.
Please replace that stupid ass spinner belt. I hate that piece of shit.
I am afraid for Flair.
I also think this is stupid to have Edge in a TLC match since he is recovering from a torn pec.
Why did Lita take off her whore shirt?
Quit grabbing other men's junk dude!
Chair shot, T-Minus 5…4…3…2…BLADE JOB!
Jesus fuck! PLEASE DON'T DIE!
Oh my god, scary blood from Flair again.
SWEET GOD! How the hell is Flair alive?
OH FUCK!
Figure Four on the Whore!
CLIMB OLD MAN CLIMB!
Damn it.
Flair is still alive, it was a good match (albeit scary at times)…I think he MAY be a God.
Guest Raw-Liners from Jislaine Medina!
Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!
Flair Country!
Oh God, NOT AGAIN!
Kurt Angle is my Olympic Hero for saving us from this
segment.
Gather around now, children, for Vince McMahon's
Arbitration Time!
Angle's more like a beast than a cyborg.
That Krispy Kreme look!
Nice slap, Davari!
I think I hear some people chanting "You rock! You
rock!"
Managerial? Angle just taught us a new word!
Maria is so sweet, sympathizing with Masters like
that!
It's Mickie the Bi-Polar Diva!
A "La-Ma-Masterlock Challenge"? It's okay, Lillian.
I love Cena, but he runs out like a toddler.
Almost sounded like he said "Shawn" instead of "John".
Flair is going back to Asics!
Candice is a walking Herbal Essence commercial.
Replacing "puppies" are the brand-new "WINDOW
WASHERS!"
"Vince's Devils"? Oh come on. You can do better than
that.
Did anyone else see the guy with the wafro and the WHT
replica near Mickie singing the song "Hey Mickey"?
Carlito still had the apple in his mouth when he
landed!
It's going to be Mae Young, isn't it? Linda? Steph?
Shelton's mamma! YES!
See Shelton trying not to laugh?
She'll make your hair grow!
Look at how nice and slicked-back Show's hair is!
Is today Take Your Daughter to Work Day or just a
happy coincidence?
Ooooooooo, what a jump!
Man, Flair got busted up in a hurry.
Oooooooooooooooo, what a suplex!!
The Wile E. Coyote camera, ha.
Flair counters the miss with a Flair Flop! Nice save.
Edge Spears him too? That's dirty.
Cena standing over Flair made for a nice finish to the
show.
WWE news, notes and happenings:
Your News from the Wrestling Observer (My Views in bold):
Recent SD! Ratings saw The Dicks match add 40,000 viewers and the Benoit vs. Orton match LOSE 40,000 viewers Kid Kash's interview on SD! that week lost 500,000 viewers.
This goes to prove that Steve Cook is not the only one that hates Kash.
Brock Lesner 28, married Sable 38 recently. The Lesners live next door to Head of Talent relations Johnny Ace.
I bet Brock dances on Ace's lawn everyday…
Bret Hart was approached to do a WrestleMania match vs. Vince that would go: Bret punches Vince, slaps on the sharp shooter, Vince taps , match over. Bret turned them down.
Jesus…I am so tired of this saga.
Paul Heyman signed a short extension. Steff still doesn't want him to be in creative and he might not be back period.
This is now interesting. I still say Vince is smart to keep him under contract. Don't give your opposition any help if you can help it. Paul will do some good things in OVW, and I think that keeping him there is in their best interests.
Before Batista's new injury, the plan was Mark Henry vs. Batista at Royal Rumble and Batista vs. Undertaker @ NOW.
I still have to ask, WHY have him feud with Henry? Why have him on the road full time still? Why have him doing power moves and taking flat back bumps all the time? WHY? They asked for this injury of him by their arrogance.
Benoit has no plans to leave the WWE anytime soon.
**…sigh…**
Giant Singh was signed months ago, and is headed down for training. The WWE wants a "Giant" for some idea they have, but Dave doesn't know what it is.
Neither do I Dave, neither do I…
Kurt Angle and others in creative have proposed a K-1 Invasion angle where it would be Shoot fighters vs. Wrestlers. MMA stars Bob Sapp, Sam Greco, Tom Howard and The Predator are the dream MMA team.
This is actually kind of interesting. Sapp is a BEAST, charisma out the ass; Vince's kind of guy. Greco was in WCW at the very end, but was never really uses, Howard is a trained pro-wrestler as is Predator. I say go for it, it could be kind of cool for Smackdown after WrestleMania. Have Shelton go back to SD, and if Haas is back that could make for some interesting stuff.
It took Joey Styles 6 hours to tape the under 2 hour RAW in Afghanistan voiceovers. He had to do many re-dos and Heyman told the WWE that he had to do a lot of "producing" to make Styles as good as he was in ECW.
Paul Heyman, what a bitch.
Dave thinks Shawn Michaels is hiding an injury.
Interesting…HBK hasn't exactly looked "great" the last few weeks, I just thought it was that he tried to knock off the drugs due to the "proposed policy."
Bob Orton Jr. battling hepatitis, the office has known about this since before the Armageddon PPV.
And they knew! They let him near the ring at the Armageddon PPV and they LET HIM BLADE AND BLEED ALL OVER THE UNDERTAKER AND HIS SON! This is stupidity at it's finest here by the WWE. Apparently Taker was NOT happy at all, and can you blame him?
Finlay's return caused issues as some knew back in September that it was on the horizon, and others who should have known were only informed recently.
I am shocked, a lack of communication in the E!
There is talk of a Jay Lethal/ Charlie Haas tag team.
I still don't get excited about "WWE Tag Team News" anymore until they do something. Also, I think Lethal will go with TNA.
Tantaka looks to have lost 30lbs since he was last seen on RAW
I hope the hell so, his fat ass actually DID look like a Buffalo in his last appearance. And WHY did they sign him? Oh yeah, he had a "good match" with Kurt Angle. Well slap my ass and call me Suzy, get ME a fucking match with Angle, I want paid to.
Your News: Mark Henry is not being blamed for the injury to Batista. Some feel that if anything, the injury is Batista's own fault for being vulnerable and perhaps overcompensating because of his other injury.
My Views: I don't blame Mark Henry either. Sure he's a giant man that isn't worth a shit half the time and sweats gravy, but I don't blame him. As I said last week, this was all caused by ARROGANCE! The arrogance of the WWE. THEY let him work through a torn lat. THEY had him on TV every week. THEY had him taking chokeslams and shit on cars. THEY had him lifting up Big Show, Kane and Mark. THEY had him working HOUSESHOWS! Bottom line, they were arrogant and they got bit in the ass. Try to prove me wrong here, you'll lose.
Your News: Batista was apparently very broken up backstage at the Smackdown taping about having to drop the World Title and take time off. He actually told management that he will work through his latest injury, but WWE overruled and made the decision to take the belt off of him and get him healed up. He isn't expected back until after WrestleMania.
My Views: I applaud Batista for wanting to be a company man and work through this. I applaud him for taking his role so seriously that he was legit upset that he had to drop the title. But I am SO glad that they finally realized that he had to be put on the shelf. We talked about this last week and just above, if they would have let him continue to work, that would have been one of the stupidest decisions ever made. As for him returning after WM, yeah, like the SUMMER. This is the 3rd tricep tear of the SAME tricep. He's 40, he's jacked up; his career is in trouble. Trust me, there is a good chance that Big Dave may not return.
Your News: When Eric Bischoff was originally removed as RAW GM, there was talk of bringing him back as a manager of sorts for Three Minute Warning (Rosey and Jamal), but now there seems to be no plans at all to bring Bischoff back anytime soon.
My Views: This amazes me that they aren't putting him back on TV in some form. He was a good character and there has to be something that he can do to help the product.
Your News: It is an interesting move by WWE to spoil Smackdown considering that Linda McMahon has gone on record in the past, blaming websites like this one which post "spoilers" for Smackdown's falling ratings. Of course, sites like this one label spoilers. WWE.com posted them on the main page of the site where all of their visitors have no choice but to see them.
My Views: Now some people bitched that we reported this. They said we were being childish and "over stepped." BULL SHIT! You don't sit in on conference calls, you don't read the WWE crap they send out for investors. They blame sites like 411 for shitty Smackdown ratings because we post "spoilers." Well, we do label them. Do you know how many emails I got from people that were pissed at WWE.com? I had over 30-emails from PISSED OFF people that went to WWE.com and got spoiled. Amazingly enough there are people that do not like spoilers and avoid them. We did nothing wrong.
Your News: Its being reported that British broadcast partners were not too happy that people could watch Heat and Velocity on the internet before the shows appeared on television on the Sky station. WWE's website has recently put a stop to that by blocking people with UK web accounts from watching the shows.
UK viewers however can still watch clips from RAW and SmackDown! that WWE posts on their site
My Views: While I can totally understand this from Sky's point of view, it sucks for the fans. When it comes down to it, it is all about the cash; and when it comes down to that the fans tend to lose out.
And now for something yummy…
I know I feel happy…
TNA stories, scuttlebutt and rumors:
Your News: The Saturday (7th) edition of TNA Impact scored a 0.9 cable rating, with a 1.7 share.
Monday's (9th) replay scored a 0.4 cable rating, with a 1.4 share.
My Views: Still steady. I will be interested to see the ratings for the next month. With Team 3D and Christian now solid fixtures in the roster, and Sting joining them this could be the start of the audience growing.
Your News: TNA will be holding a house show on 3/17 at the Compuware Sports Arena in Plymouth, Michigan, which holds 4,500 or so for wrestling. Apparently Insane Clown Posse's Psychopathic Records will be promoting the show. As reported earlier, TNA plans to start running house shows where local promoters can pay a fee to have TNA shows. The rumored card is as follows:
"Alpha Male" Monty Brown vs. "The Future" Chris Sabin
Ron "The Truth" Killings vs. Bobby Roode
Alex Shelly vs. Petey Williams
Also appearing: Sharkboy, A-1, Konnan, Eric Young and many MORE!
My Views: This is excellent news. I love the idea of having a promoter front the cash to "run" the show, so that TNA's guys make the money and the company makes a small fee, hence NOT losing cash. This is great because house show business is down for most wrestling companies right now. If TNA can line up 4 of these shows a month, it can only help expose the product. Also, love them or hate them, ICP are EXCELLENT wrestling promoters. They pay well and promote well to the public. Hell, if Panda and TNA are smart, they should try to strike a deal where ICP finances a few hose shows a month. They have crazy fans, those Juggalos will go to anything they promote. And if it leads to an occasional match from ICP on PPV, I could sacrifice seeing them for 6-minutes if they are fronting house shows. Make it so bitches. Strong card by the way.
Your News: TNA had to turn away about 400 fans from the TNA Final Resolution PPV tonight in Orlando, FL at Universal Studios. TNA has been turning fans away from recent PPVs and TV tapings but the crowd tonight was said to be larger than usual with Sting's return being credited as the reason.
My Views: That is excellent news. Turning people away is a good thing, and I think they really need to consider a PPV at a larger event somewhere in Florida. Somewhere like a minor league hickey arena, some place that holds 3-5000 people. In the next few months they really need to consider doing that.
Your News: According to prwrestling.com and wwcpro.com, Jeff Jarrett and Abyss will work the WWC "Hour of Truth III" Tour in February. Jarrett will have matches with Shane the Glammour Boy and Eddie Colon during the tour.
TNA had a working agreement with both, WWC and IWA, as demonstrated by "Cowboy" James Storm working for WWC and Killings and Konnan showing up for IWA last week. But, with Dutch Mantell back as an on air character and creative consultant in WWC, the balance seems to be moving to the WWC side. Abyss made his debut with IWA in 2002 and was signed by TNA a short time later. He continued appearing for IWA until 2004 where he worked some shots for WWC, but went back to IWA in 2005. His return to WWC is a huge blow to IWA since he was one of the guys they kept bringing back frequently.
Jeff Jarrett had made all his appearances in Puerto Rico for IWA, including defending the NWA World Title against the likes of Rey Gonzales, Chicano and Shane. His appearance for WWC also represents a drastic blow to IWA and this might begin a war between the two promotions to see which former talents from the other side they can bring into their promotion. How this jumps will affect the relationship between TNA and IWA is not yet known, considering that Apolo is under IWA contract until the end of 2006 and it was IWA who granted him special permission to work for TNA.
My Views: This all sounds pretty damn cool. I don't know a lot about the scene in PR right now, but I think down the line a small scale "Puerto Rican Invasion) could be really fun if booked properly.
Your News: TNA is apparently interested is signing some more Indy talent.
My Views: Here is the list and my comments.
Kevin Steen – I have only seen a little a few matches of his, not bad but I was never impressed. I don't see what he could add to TNA.
El Generico – I don't get the hype on this guy. I don't see what he could add to TNA.
Jack Evans – Evans is a great high flyer, and would be fun to see him back in TNA.
Teddy Hart – Asshole, I don't see what he could add to TNA. But considering they just brought XSUXX back, he'll probably get a job.
Harry Smith – I recently got a tape with some Harry matches on it. He has gotten bigger in the last few years and keeps improving as he travels the world. He and Jack Evans would make a fun tag team.
Matt Sydal – Sydal has been having good matches in ROH. He has worked with a lot of the TNA talent, and could probably fit in really well.
Cody Steele – Haven't seen any of his work, can't comment.
Mike Foxx – Haven't seen any of his work, can't comment.
The main problem is that they are looking for more X Guys it seems, which leads me to believe that they will go with the X Tag titles. As I said in my column about the 4th title, they just need to be careful in what ever they do. I love the company, but a few more big buys that can go would be a great thing.
Everything else that needs covering:
Your News: Former WWE Diva Dawn Marie has filed a complaint against WWE with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, claiming wrongful termination from her release last year while she was pregnant and mental duress stemming from that release. Marie gave birth to her son on 12/20 and has already lost 30 pounds. She is hoping to make a comeback. TNA's Dixie Carter has already offered Dawn Marie a job when she is ready.
My Views: See I always thought this firing was rather shitty. Yes I understand that she is a diva and is paid to look good, but she is also a woman and for those of you out there that don't know anything about sex, it makes babies. Depending on how her contract is worded, I don't see why they couldn't have suspended her contract, let her have the kid, get back in shape and when she was "ok" to the E, some back and resume work. Hopefully she gets the remaining cash from her contract, which was only a few months.
Your News: WWE is filing another injunction on Brock Lesnar for "further breaching the Settlement Agreement and General Release of All Claims" (the "Settlement Agreement") between WWE and Lesnar".
The injunction is to stop Lesnar from defending his IWGP title on February 19th in Japan. They have filed similar motions in the past, and then withdrew them. Some feel this is just a legal tactic by the WWE's law team, as if they don't file the injunctions the court may think they are not serious about the case with Lesnar and momentum could swing Lesnar's way.
Judge Christopher Droney has told WWE that unless they give him a good argument between now and 1/25, he will rule in favor of Brock Lesnar. That would enable Lesnar to work anywhere he wanted and for anyone he wanted immediately (including TNA).
My Views: And this is really getting interesting. If the E can't make the case, they are done and Brock is free and clear. SPIKE is really looking to move TNA to Thursdays with the new season of UFC and are considering an extra hour. They were very happy about Sting, so much they are kicking some cash for him, what about Brock? I think that'd give them a hard on as well and give them that 2nd hour. Please WWE Legal team, fuck this up and let Brock free.
When asked what he thought about going to TNA< Brock had the following response:
Your News: Ricky Romero passed away earlier today, reportedly due from complications of diabetes. Romero was a star in Texas, and was a huge success as a baby face, the only one that wasn't a Funk, in the 60's and 70's. Many will remember that his sons also saw stardom in wrestling as well, as the "Youngblood's." Mark and Chris, as well as Steve; who was Jay.
My Views: And another brother passes away. I suppose the good thing is that Romero lived a full life and passed away from natural causes (diabetes.) I don't remember seeing any of his work off hand (but remember reading about him when I wrote my Terry Funk bio), but that was quite the family because I sure as hell remember his sons. Myself and 411 would like to send our condolences to the Romero family.
Your News: El Texano, real name Juan Aguilar passed away late last evening. He was on his way to the hospital for emergency surgery but fell to respiratory failure.
El Texano was a huge part of revitalizing Mexico's main event scene in the 80's as part of Los Misioneros de la Muerte, alongside El Signo & Negro Navarro. During this time the main events were changing mostly to Trios Tags, instead of traditional tags.
Later on in his career he formed a tag team with Silver King named, "Los Cowboys;" which would become the best tag team in Mexico. US fans may remember him as Silver King II, tagging with Silver King for WCW at a WCW Clash of Champions.
My Views: Now I do know that I have seen some Texano. Los Cowboys rocked pretty damn hard, and how could it now with Silver King bitches? In all seriousness, I got this news after waking up from a nap from 411's Mike Campbell. Not the kind of thing I enjoy waking up to. The first thing I thought of was, "who will be the 3rd?" I hate to say that, but these things do always seem to work in 3's. Texano was only 47 years old, and clearly taken from us too soon. Myself and 411 would like to send our condolences to the Aguilar family.
Your News: Matt Morgan was arrested for impersonating a police officer in trying to pull over a female motorist on Friday night in Louisville. He was released later that night, but his mug shot ended up on WLKY-TV in Louisville.
My Views: Wow, this is not good. I am waiting for someone to tell me this was a joke or for his "Intraweb Reality Show." This is bad on many levels, because there are tons of stories every year about guys impersonating cops to rape and rob women. This kind of shit makes me sick, seriously, what else was he planning on doing? Go fuck yourself you freak.
And now for some fun…
Wrestling Quotes!
Bobby Heenan commenting on Hogan's entrance music
Heenan: That's my second favorite song.
Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. What's your favorite?
Heenan: All the rest are tied.
"Who's that, the windbreaker?" -- Paul E. commenting on Firebreaker Chip of the Patriots.
Bobby Heenan on some Jobber: "I once asked him what came at the end of the sentence... and he said "parole"."
"He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!" -- Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink
"Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs, McMahon, he'd win for MOST abs."-- Jesse Ventura
Paul E. commenting on War Games: "This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound."
Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters:
Brain: "I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?"
Gorilla: "Sure. It means red, rich, full..."
Brian: Nope...it means lard.
"The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children" -- Gorilla Monsoon
Bobby H. on the Ultimate Warrior: "This guy makes coffee nervous."
"I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegetable, or mineral." -- Jim Cornette
"Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!" -- Iron Sheik
Gorilla Monsoon commenting on Nick Volkoff's singing: "If you hung him for being a good singer, you'd be hanging an innocent man!"
Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: "Ladies & Gentleman, the man who taught Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!"
Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: "Ladies & Gentleman, the man who taught William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!"
Bobby H on Frankie (Koko's bird): "If he was in my house, he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag."
"I guess you could call that poetry in motion." -- Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his poetry plate.
"What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won't." -- Randy Savage on the
"Missy is really a man. She's a cross dresser. She hangs out with Sammartino. They shave each other's back." -- Paul E.
"The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself off." -- Jim Cornette
Bobby Heenan on jobber Rikki Atakki: "Once you wrestle Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again."
Bobby H & Gorilla on Tito Santana:
Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness' Book of
World Records?
Gorilla: Yeah? For what?
Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour.
Gorilla: Will you stop...
"You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car." -- Bobby H
Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson: "He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!"
"The Barbarian's shoes are Hair Jordans" -- Bobby H
"He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwords." -- Jim Cornette
"I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." -- Cactus Jack
"Broken necks, splattered patellas, severed arteries: These are the things from which dreams are made of." -- Road Warrior Hawk
"Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper." -- Roddy Piper
"Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more English you get out of him." -- Bobby Heenan
"I've hung & I've bung..." -- Hulk Hogan describing hanging & banging in the same tense
Gorilla & Bobby on Adrian Adonis:
Gorilla: He's quite lethargic.
Bobby: And slow.
"When's the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconscious?" -- Bobby Heenan on Beefcake
Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan: "Does the tongue hanging out help his balance?"
Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich: "He's the only man I know of who can hide his own Easter eggs."
"If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world." -- Cactus Jack
"That's where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off." -- Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark
"Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!" -- Jesse Ventura
"Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
Reader Rant Time on Kurt Angle as World Champion:
From Steve in Brooklyn - Larry, once again you are on the head. But I would like to add something. Do you realize that they did the old "Out side for half the match" thing again? Even if I didn't know Angle won the match..as soon as he was put through the table I would have known. Also, the way the match was booked overall sets up a Henry/Angle match. I know Angle can have a 3-4 star match with anybody, but I don't see why they couldn't have started the Rey/Angle program a little earlier. I actually have more reason to watch SD! now. Being as the cruisers are going to have more TV time because the US title can't be defended, and the World Title picture is going to get interesting. Thanks!
From Caleb - Overall, I agree with your arguments, however let's look at a couple of possibilities in an "Alternate Universe"...
1. Lashley- I can't say as I disagree with your "unproven". However... Goldberg was a one-dimensional wrestler and WCW pushed him to the moon, made him a "star" (as an "unbeatable badass") and made him RICH in the process. Bobby Lashley is ABUNDANTLY more talented than Ahmed Johnson (the last Black Big Man that got ANY degree of a decent push since Ron Simmons), seems to have a decent grasp of how to play "the Monster" and like the old-school announcers always used to say "on any given night, we could have a new world champion" (Solie and Monsoon).
2. JBL- Sure he has the pedigree, but ANOTHER title for him already...? New faces, please... Enough already with JBL.
3. Rey Rey- Has been a previous legitimate threat to any Heavyweight that steps in the ring with him, with the only possible exception being The Big Show. And as previously stated, "on any given night..."
4. William Regal- Jobbing lately, but let's throw this amazing worker and trainer a bone, huh...? And with Burchill as his goon, give him a "Flair/Horsemen-like" run for a couple of months or so. Have the FBI (Italy) and Heidenreich (Germany-ish) throw in with him and give him an "International Cartel" to Lord over. Have one of his goons (Burchill, perhaps) jump over, grab the IC Title and jump back with it for a "World Domination" program. Strength in numbers and opens the door for any number of "turning" possibilities. "On any given night..."
As I recall, sending Big Dave over to Smackdown was supposed to give SD some degree of legitimacy as a "player in the game". Keep the WHT on a Smackdown guy and create a new star. Not just a rehash of a previous title reign. I have no issue with Angle getting another title, but he's established, like JBL, AND he was in the middle of another stellar program with HBK. McMahonagement may very well have dropped the ball and lost an opportunity to create a new superstar.
From Ken - Great analysis on the whole turn of events with Kurt being the new champ. and that extra trivia about Angle being the first wrestler post brand extension to win both titles was very interesting.
The "job royal" breakdown was also on the money. And when you think about it, who among them could realistically hold the belt? JBL or Mysterio, IMHO, but the others? A pipe dream. :D
I think WWE gave the title to Angle on free tv just to spice up the ratings and interest on Smackdown. Fans are probably accustomed to believe that no real championship main event ever happens on free TV, and this may be WWE's way of shaking things up. Makes one think "huh, what do you know? Anything really can happen on WWE."
Plus, I think they need to build up the angles for whoever the replacement champion is. In the current SD roster, a champion potential is already in an angle (eg. Benoit), is premature (Lashley), or someone the WWE doesn't have faith in just yet (Mysterio).
As for Kurt getting the title, it was a great day for Angle fans as well. From a storyline point, I'd imagine they'd write it out such that Angle was so pissed about not winning at the Elimination Chamber that he just made things happen and took the World title when the opportunity was presented to the "most vicious son of a bitch in WWE". Plus he now has even more bragging rights to fuel his rivalry with Shawn.
If he stays with Smackdown (as he should), then the show finally gets a legit power heel just as Raw has Triple H. Plus it brings in more possible matches for Benoit vs. Angle. So, in my humble opinion, Smackdown and Angle come out winners here.
And finally from J - The first thing I thought of when I read the results of the Smackdown tapings was here we go again, Smackdown needs bailed out by RAW. They just continually bury Smackdown in every way and continue to show it's inferiority. If they think Smackdown is inferior, then why would any fans take it seriously. They are basically telling the people they are trying to sell their product to that their product is no good. As you said doing it at the Royal Rumble sets up a reason why Kurt Angle, or whomever would win the Rumble, is on Smackdown. Now I read that Mark Henry wins at the Smackdown tapings and will face Angle for the title at the Rumble. Really? Mark Henry huh? That's just awful. The guy was missing for over a year, now he's the number one contender for the World Title. Booker T wins the U.S. Title, but he can't wrestle for at least 6 weeks. Why not just bring Rey, JBL, MNM, Take, Kennedy and Lashley to RAW and end Smackdown all together. It's to the point where I go out of my way to avoid it. Also back to Henry. Having him as the #1 contender shows that they need to move at least one more top level guy to Smackdown. Oh well just had top kinda vent.
Thanks for the emails!
Pimpin ain't easy…but the money keeps getting better!
