MeeThinks 01.24.06: Picking (on?) The Boogeyman
Posted by John Meehan on 01.24.2006
BoogeyMania is runnin’ wild!!!
"That, methinks, is strange."
- Messala, Julius Caesar
Act IV, scene iii
Hey y'all, and welcome once again to The Most Positive Column in the IWC – MeeThinks. This week, we're back to our regularly-scheduled format, as three-weeks-worth of year-end-wrap-up columns (while fun) was definitely enough of an exercise in "breadth over depth" for this IWC ceWebrity-in-the-making.
So what's on tap for this week, you ask?
Why indisputable proof that MeeThinks is THE most positive column in wrestling today, of course.
("Yeah right, Meehan… you promise that same old story every time.")
Fair enough (hey folks, I've gotta keep drillin' that bad boy if it's ever gonna stick as my catchphrase, ya' know) – but rest assured, this week's column is going to totally catch those other so-called "positive" folks COMPLETELY by surprise.
Why's that?
Well this week, I'm about to journey into the Bottomless Pit and proudly bring you the latest installment of…
MeeThinks: Picking (on?) The Boogeyman BoogeyMania is runnin' wild!!!
(Sorry – last snot joke, I promise ;-)
Yup – I'm going to bat for The Boogeyman, because Prag & Thomlison just can't seem to find it in their "oh so positive" hearts to say a nice thing about the poor guy. Remember this column?:
JT: FYI, before we start. To Syata, Nick, and whoever else emailed us about it… The thing with the Boogeyman is: I hate him with a passion and I don't care how un-positive that is. I will not put him in this column! And since I cover SmackDown! and the PPVs, I win!
And later…
JT: There's nothing positive about him, and there's nothing "Hidden" about the fact that he sucks.
And again…
JT: If I ever see you put him in an issue, I'm quitting.
Ha. And they claim to be the kings of positivity around these parts… FOR SHAME!
Let's see if I can't do a better job, eh?
Our Story So Far…
WAY back in the spring of 2005, WWE television started airing a string of creep-tastic vignettes in the vein of the Blair Witch Project, each of which ended with the echoing refrain that The Boogeyman was "comin' to getcha!" These bad-boys were pretty reminiscent of your average C-rate horror flick (think "Dead & Breakfast") - you know, eerie shot of a remote wooded area, pitch black sky in the middle of the night, spooky off-camera rustlings and the like, and (of COURSE) an ominous voice-over by that same grizzled announcer who does those "Please - don't try this at home" bits.
Anyhow -
Just as soon as the Boogeyman vignettes started, they stopped. Like Beaver Cleavage, Mordecai, and Se7en before him, it seemed like this "Boogey-fellow" was just another of Vinny's short-lived brain-farts abandoned as suddenly as it was born. All hype, no depth. You know - pretty much like Cena's moveset (wink ;-).
But then -
In the latter-half of 2005, "Network Executive" Palmer Cannon - Smackdown!'s heel counterpart (and UPN stand-in) to their face GM, Teddy Long - told audiences that "that Boogeyman guy" WWE (and UPN) had been shilling so hardcore some months before was (get this) "coming to WWE as a wrestler." Bizzare and convoluted as such a character might seem (given the pro-wrestling-of-today's "reality-driven" landscape), Cannon was quick with a (surprisingly plausible) kayfabed backstory as to why this dude was entering the ranks of the 'E.
Here's how it went:
"The Boogeyman" was actually a television series in development by the UPN network way back in the spring of 2005. The show ultimately wound up getting canned before ever having seen the light of day (which made it like 2 episodes worse-off than other UPN classics like, say, "The Mullets" or "Game Over"), but - show or no show - UPN was still "contractually obligated" to pay the show's talent for the duration of their contracts (think WWE and Stevie Richards).
Oh - and one more thing, Cannon added:
The guy behind this "Boogeyman" character was, well... kind of screwed up. See he was supposed to be nothing more than an actor portraying this infamous baddie on the small screen, but he kinda, well, "snapped" when UPN decided to pass on the show late in the spring of '05, and so the guy ACTUALLY BELIEVED HE WAS THE BOOGEYMAN as a result (say, didn't one of the D.A.'s from the original cast of Law & Order experience a similar fate?).
Cannon, always quick to throw crap at Long just for the sake of having done so (the Juniors division, anyone?), informed Teddy that "The Network" was gonna' get their money's worth out of this "Boogeyman" guy no matter what, so even though the dude was (in storyline terms) "just a freaked-out actor from a canned TV show" - Palmer decided to sign the guy to the Smackdown ranks... partially to get his money's worth, and partially just to screw with Teddy (as "The Network" was known to do). Since The Network had (in storyline-terms) spent the summer shuffling the guy away from filming one show and onto another, this pretty well explained away that long gap between the initial hype and the ultimate arrival of the character to WWE TV.
Now then... the REAL story behind the spring '05 teaser vignettes and the fall '05 debut:
First things first - in order to understand "The Boogeyman," you'd probably be well-served to understand the man behind the... um... "Boogey." In this case - that man is none other than one Mr. Marty Wright.
"Who's Marty Wright," you ask?
Why the would-be-wrassler from the final (pseudo) season of Tough Enough, of course. (Tough Enough?!?) Yes, TOUGH ENOUGH - season four, if I'm not mistaken (checks his math - Maven & Nidia, Jackie & Shaniqua, Cappotelli & Nitro... yup, season four). You remember Tough Enough: Season IV, dontcha? You know... the one that aired as the male-counterpart to RAW's Diva Search on Smackdown! (You might also remember that Daniel Puder ultimately won the thing... lotta good it did him, no?).
"But who's this Marty Wright fellow," come the questions...
The gi-normous black dude who was ALL KINDS of intense during the tryouts on the beach. "Which gi-normous black dude," you ask? (Sheesh - how quickly we all forget...). The gi-normous black dude who lied about his age (by repeatedly telling the 'E officials that he was "thirty" when - whoops - his driver's license clearly said he was FORTY).
"AHhhhh - NOW i remember him!" you say. "MAN, that guy was INTENSE - but TOTALLY whacked..."
Exactly what Vinny Mac and co. musta thought, MeeThinks - because out of an entire season's worth of would-be-wrestlers, SOMEHOW Mr. "I Lied About My Age" is the ONLY guy from all of the Season IV talent-pool to have landed a job on the main WWE roster (as of press time)."
So anyhow -
Seeing that the guy had a unique look, an obvious passion to learn the 'biz, and Father Time CLEARLY working against him (cause starting a wrestling career after 40 is no easy task, ya know) - WWE Creative decided to fast-track Mr. Wright and get him on WWE television ASAP. This meant a brief stay in the developmental system (where he pretty much donned a gimmick that was much the same), a slew of hype vignettes and a quick debut on the 'E's main roster.
Problem, of course...
Was in that (small) matter that the dude had barely learned how to wrestle, of course. But then again, "wrestling ability" is becoming more and more "optional" in the modern WWE, no(?) - so we'll give Mr. Boogey a free pass on that one. The real problem, however, was in the fact that Marty's lack of training (and age) meant that he was hella-injury prone - so while "The Boogeyman" was scheduled to debut in spring 2005 right according to schedule (to coincide with the vignettes, Marty Wright - the guy behind "The Boogeyman" gimmick - wound up tearing BOTH of his quads right before his big debut (boy - bet you thought that Vinny Mac's Royal Rumble '05 dual-quad-blowout was a rarity, didn'tcha?).
As such, Wright spent the better part of the next four months rehabbing like a champion down in OVW. While down there - the guy nursed his injuries, polished his gimmick, and brushed up the finer points of - ya know - all that wrestling stuff he'd missed in his express-route to sportz entertainment superstardom. Good things all around, when you think about it.
Oh, and this...
For better or worse, Wright was instrumental in the firing of head OVW booker (and wrasslin' GENIUS) Jim Cornette. Long story short -'Corny had planted an indy wrassler in the crowd and sent Mr. Oogie Boogie out to make the guy look like he was scared (Boogey)less. A good idea on paper, of course - except for the fact that the guy just couldn't stop himself from busting out laughing when Wright launched into his full-out Boogeymania shtick. Cornette, a die-hard old-schooler at heart, was livid that his indy-plant wrestler had totally blown kayfabe by blowing Boogey's cover, so Cornette (in the smart business move of the year) hauled off and slapped the kid as soon as he made it backstage.
Yeah - he was SO fired.
(But then again - Heyman was given 'Corny's old job - so all's well that ends well, no?)
So ANYHOW - back to our story so far:
Boogey finally debuted for the 'E in the late fall of 2005, complete with his plas-tastic facepaint (part Darth Maul, part Slipknot), a cargo-pocketful of worms (he likes to eat them, you know... and no, I'm TOTALLY not kidding with you on that one), and a ridiculously-oversized clock (like the kind that Mike D. might have worn around his neck in 1987 or so).
As of press time, Boogey's most substantial feud to date was in his brimming program against JBL. Though both wrestlers are *technically* "heels" in the traditional sense, fans (marks especially) have gradually begun to take a second look at this face-painted freak from the Bottomless Pit. Now everyone knows that eating worms are a great way to get under the skin of a Wrestling Gawd, but if you're gonna win the fans over, you've gotta realize that that's kids' stuff when dealing with "Mr. Smackdown." As such, Boogeyman's latest "mind game" saw him corner JBL's "Image Consultant" Jillian Hall on a recent episode of Piper's Pit - only to (WISH I was making this part up) bite the gigantic mole off of the side of the girl's face and swallow the thing whole.
On paper, then...
It's not altogether that hard to see why this character (and the performer behind him) has been on the receiving end of a boatload of flack from the IWC.
- He's (beyond) green in the ring.
- He's got a cartoonish, ridiculous - and even laughable - gimmick.
- He's totally been pushed WAY before paying any sort of dues.
- He EATS LIVE WORMS, people.
- He EATS WADS OF HUMAN FLESH, people.
- Oh, and he wrestles for Smackdown (cause IWC'ers LOVE to Hate-on the Blue Brand, ya know)
All that said, however... I think it's high time we gave The Boogeyman a closer look in a little column I likes ta call...
MeeThinks?
Immediately after Boogeyman chowed down on Jillian's freak-nasty face, my dad (a die-hard wrestling fan since WAY back in the day himself) called me up and exclaimed: "TELL ME YOU SAW THAT!!!" Sadly, I wasn't by the TV screen on that particular evening, but thanks to a quick glance over the Smackdown spoilers earlier in the week, all I had to do was look at the clock and I *immediately* knew what he had to be referring to.
"THE BOOGEYMAN IS MY NEW FAVORITE WRESTLER!!!" my Dad shouted, with a joyous glee as he recounted the guy's step-by-step consumption of Ms. Hall's facial malfunction. "You see the guy sniff the air and everything," Dad added, "and YA JUST KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN NEXT, but you can't look away!!!"
Though Dad's impressions and my story here might not have been exactly the reaction y'all experienced when you watched Boogeymania run wild on the lovely Jillian's facial features, the fact remains that this type of "mark-out" television is exactly what's going to get this guy over in spite of his ridiculousness. Think about the last time a fellow wrestling fan called you in the middle of a show with a "Tell me you saw that" kinda phone call... and think about how you *immediately* knew what they were talking about without so much as a further word of explanation. Not too frequently, I'd imagine, yes? (stuff like Hogan joining The Outsiders... Sting descending from the hellicopter... and Matt Hardy's re-debut comes to mind – but man, did they ever muff that last one up, no?)…
Here's the point, folks –
The fact is, The Boogeyman character is just SO out there that you can't help but to pay attention to the guy. Whether he's scarfing down nightcrawlers, smashing a giant clock over his head, popping up randomly in backstage vignettes, or wiggling to the ring with his patented Boogeyshake (tm?), the guy - for better or worse - DEFINITELY makes viewers take notice.
(Which is kinda how, ya know, wrestlers with limited ring ability "get over" these days).
Add that to the fact that Boogey has a unique (read: bizzare) and marketable look, plus a snappy catchphrase and a well-defined "character" all to his own, and you've got yourself a bona-fide "superstar" in the making.
Just to prove a point here - kindly close your door and try out your best "Boogeyman" impression. Now give it a shot doing an A.J. Styles impression, or try and do the same for Randy Orton - and no fair doing the "dorkboy" pose, either. Not so easy, is it? Ok - now break out a pen and paper and draw your best "Boogeyman" - then sketch a quick "James Storm" and a "Trish Stratus" while you're at it. See what's missing? Sure, all of these three performers are "over" (to varying degrees) with sucessful gimmicks and marketable looks in their own right, but just *one* of them is so unique and well-defined (read: "mimmic-able") that there should be absolutely no confusion as to who you're trying to portray when you pay homage to their eccentricities.
That's marketability, folks.
In the process of becoming "marketable" in this fashion, The Boogeyman charcter has really taken on a life of his own. This is largely due to Wright's willingness efforts, of course (those worms he's eating are REAL, folks... and he really is missing those front two teeth - which he just recently lost and actively *chose* not to have replaced because he thought the look was perfect for his character), and for a guy who might not have "it" all down yet in terms of in-ring ability, he most certainly can't be criticized for his lack of "workrate" when you consider his willingness to "live the gimmick." But in "becoming The Boogeyman" and playing the part to its outrageous perfection, Wright's character has effectively become a self-referential parody of all the ridiculous and laughable crap we've seen from the wacky and wild world of professional wrestling... and he's provided us with a chance to laugh at him (and ourselves) for taking this stuff so damned seriously for so long *despite* the ridiculousness of some of the crap we've been asked to swallow in recent memory. Stuff like...
A wrestling voodoo doctor.
A necrophilia-lovin' World Champion.
A Hannibal-Lechter-esque nutcase with a "Mommy" fetish.
A wrestling brood of vampires who like to soak their victims in bloo... err, a "red, viscous liquid."
A real, live, wrestling zombie who shoots lightning bolts up from the rafters and smoke out from under his feet.
… his "burn victim" brother who shoots fire on command.
See the trend here?
Professional wrestling is, and always has been – by its very nature of being a STAGED fight between two gimmick-donning "performers" – the very epitome of absurdity. The gimmicks are outlandish, the costumes are eccentric, and the entrances are perpetually overblown just for the sake of being so. Fake fights, fake names, fake feuds, fake punches, and fake storylines – pro wrestling as we know it simply wouldn't exist without (implicitly) asking its audience to "cut them a break" and suspend their disbelief from the moment they turn on their TV or walk into an arena. On paper, watching a fake fight for a fake title shouldn't be entertaining in the least (look how well those Karate Masters-type shows fared after like a season or so). But for some reason, millions of fans each year tune in to watch their favorite faux-showmen tough it out in a series of predetermined contests for a prize that (virtually) amounts to nothing more than landing the lead role on a weekly television show.
By its very nature, then – we ALL buy into wrestling for what it is… "entertainment," and having a character like The Boogeyman helps us to remember that what we're watching is exactly meant to be just that.
Heck, the kayfabed explanation for the guy's gimmick even clearly states that he doesn't have any black-magic or voodoo-like powers (as compared to, say, The Undertaker who we're ALL supposed to believe has risen from the dead – what, like FIVE times or something?). Quite on the contrary, Boogey is a character who's entire "backstory" is that he's simply a whack-job who actually buys into this gimmick that he was supposed to play.
Kinda like the wrestling-world's equivalent of the "IT'S STILL REAL TO ME!!!" guy.
And to those fans who are *still* sore at the fact that Boogey's gimmick (effectively) "cost Jim Cornette his job as head booker of OVW," - kindly a) remember that Corny's slap probably did a lot more to get the guy fired than Wright's gimmick, b) keep in mind that Cornette's firing allowed Paul Heyman to get back to booking - and totally re-enliven OVW in the process, and c) shut the hell up.
Long story short –
Boogeyman gets the pops that he deserves (and, in time, the respect that he'll have earned) simply for being what he is – a *great* character that helps wrestling fans not to take this shit too seriously, from time to time.
Heck – TNA fans are supposed to believe that Abyss is, what, some sort of deranged asylum escapee?
Pretty far fetched, if you asked Mee. But you know what? The guy busts his ass to live the gimmick, and just like Boogeyman, fans are willing to suspend their disbelief and take the guy on his own merits as a result.
Boogey is hardly a "legend" in the caliber of a Ric Flair or a Shawn Michaels in the making, but what he is is simply a welcome wake-up-call (if only a brief one) to this sometimes WAY-too-self-important wrestling landscape that can (at times) seem dominated with gimmicks and angles that run the gamut from "crap" to "stale."
So if it means we can get a break from the tedium and maybe a laugh or two in the process, sign Mee up as a proud Boogeymaniac, brothers... because Boogeymania is runnin' wild!
Agree? Disagree?
"Methinks it sounds a parley to provocation!"
- Iago, Othello
Act II, scene iii
Shoot me YourThinks and I'll post your thoughts next week!
In the meantime…
The Unofficial Glossary of Professional Wrestling: Volume IX
We're compiling a massive Wrestling Glossary of fan observations of the clichés, trends, and standbys of the wrestling world that might as well serve as the unofficial "rulebook" for this sport we all love so well. Each week, I'll post one an entry of my own as well as a few submitted by you, my faithful (and hopefully articulate) readers.
It's simple, really. You submit an entry, I add it to the Glossary, and you get the credit.
This week's additions…
The Industry-Wide Pre-match Ritual Rule
Before going into the ring, the very last thing a wrestler most do backstage is to stare menacingly into a camera whilst doing a few last push ups/stomach crunches/tension band stretches/Sodoku puzzle numbers. On the rare occasion that a wrestler is not shown performing one of the aforementioned exercises, he or she will most certainly instead be shown finishing taping his or her wrists whist staring menacingly into the camera. Or walking…. They walk a lot, too. - Colin Roscoe
The Amnesia Heights Theory
In the event of a ladder or TLC match, every able-bodied competitor (a.k.a. "well-trained athlete") must spend the a minimum of 30-60 seconds climbing a single set of 8-10 ladder steps in order to claim their winnings from suspension high above the ring. During said venture to the summit, the competitor's opponent will either A) rise to give battle once more, or B) shake and or remove the ladder from the rival's feet, thus resulting in a case where the climbing competitor A) is left staring dumbstruck at his now-risen opponent, or B) remains hanging on a single steel ring waiting for that inevitable fall (respectively). In either case, this phenomenon of being left high above the ring for so long will assuredly (and instantaneously) erase the climbing wrestler's memory, so as to cause them to completely forget to take the belt they'd been climbing for with them on the way down. -Mike Flinn
The Flying Nothing: Part III
When a wrestler not known to fly - typically a heavy weight heel such as Triple H - chooses to fly from the top turnbuckle, his lack of experience in such matters is shown by his choice to attempt the *simplest* wrestling top rope move known to mankind: The double-axehandle. Said wrestler's lack of experience also will almost always cost him greatly on the way down, as he is virtually assured to be caught with a punch to the stomach as he descends from said turnbuckle. - Mark D
The Dropkick Conundrum:
Successfully executing a dropkick will never hurt the wrestler performing the move as long as this maneuver connects with his opponent. Should a wrestler attempt a dropkick and *miss* his opponent, however, the attacking wrestler will inexplicably find himself hurt by this failed maneuver despite the lack of difference of height jumped (or jumped from) a successfully landed maneuver of the same variety. -Miguel Sardalla
The "He Who Sets It Gets It" Rule (a.k.a. – "Taste The Tacks")
More often than not, the person who seeks out and sets up a table is the one who goes through it. Likewise, the person who introduces thumbtacks into a match is always the first person to suffer / fall victim to the devastating effects caused by said objects. The more elaborate the object set-up (watch some of those TLC matches for multi-stacked tables, etc.), the greater chance that the one who had set them up will be the one finding himself on the broken end of it. (Note: the same rule holds true for approximately 75% of all cases of comedy-heel removal of a turnbuckle pad). -Ranan Engelhart (w/ Colin Roscoe)
Brilliant work as usual, gents. Your contributions continue to help make this column the "freshest and most positive" in the IWC today, so keep ‘em coming and stay tuned for more additions next week!
Now then, to the reader feedback…
YouThinks Reader Mail
Thanks to Justin Parsons, Brian Yager, Purge, Bayani Domingo and everybody else who pointed out my brain fart in last week's column when I (mis)identified the Canadian Destroyer as being Bobby Roode's finisher and not Petey Williams'. The error was fixed pretty soon thereafter, but if you were one of the many who either saw the misprint or notified Mee of it, mea culpa, or "my bust," as the saying goes – and thanks for keeping Mee honest.
With that said - onto the letters!
(As usual, feel free to shoot me YourThinks for inclusion in next week's column).
Apparently, my critique of Mr. Daniels' outfit must have touched off a hot-button in the "Queer Eye for the Straight Fans" of the IWC, as there was quite a theme towards slamming and defending TNA wrestler's styles (no, not AJ) in the past week or so.Travis Homewood gets us started with his thoughts on Billy Gunn… err, Kip James… err… (just roll the letter):
NEVER!!!!!!!!!! Allow kip James/Billy Gunn to ever, EVER!!!!! Have control over his hair. If anyone saw the final resolution ppv they should know about what I'm talking about. THE MAN COMES TO THE RING IN PIGTAILS!!!!! (not at that ppv but in the past and with tna.)
Is it any wonder everyone believed he would marry chuck palumbo? I'm not saying he needs to shave his head, but could it be that particular aspect of his identity could be what has held him down over the years? I have been a fan of Billy Gunn, and thought that while he was teaming with Hardcore Holly in WWE he had a legit chance of getting the tag team titles on smack down. That would be one more for the diminishing tag team division on either brand.
I hope he does well in tna, but his hair styles will seriously make him look like a frigg'n idiot and may wind up keeping him down in the future. Stop wearing girls hairstyles and see where your career can go. Worst case scenario, have him lose in a hair vs. hair match if he can't manage this, with no hair he would look like less of a douche. Non girly hair = nwa tag team titles.
- TH
Billy Gunn will always be the poor-man's Shawn Michaels. Arrogant swagger, cocky-ass attitude, a boatload of secondary title-reigns to show for it, and a hairline that only a mother could love. Monty (ug, what a rough name, no?) has long been dealing with follicle issues, so it's really no surprise that he likes to "doll himself up" from time to time as he tries to cope with the wicked hand that Father Time dealt his way.
That said, his gimmick should (in theory) operate pretty independent of his hairdo (or lack thereof), so I wouldn't be surprised to see "The James Gang" walking around with the NWA tag straps by year's end. Still, I'm reminded of that Snickers toupee commercial… no matter whether or not Billy slaps that championship belt on the top of his head or no, "it's only satisfying if you eat it" – err, "win it."
Speaking of that Christopher Daniels issue…Kyle Scarborough was none too pleased with my thoughts on the Fallen Angel's wardrobe. Look here:
Just a quick question/comment...
How on earth could you say Daniels' ring gear is too bland for him to be a star?
So, in order for it not to be, he should wear kickpads? Essentially you're saying that, because AJ and Joe wear the same thing...hell, damn near everyone in that division wear that kind of outfit.
Daniels shouldn't wear kickpads because he doesn't kick (same could be said for a few people, but kickpads are an indy fetish, so whatever). Not saying you're saying he should, but it's the way it sounds. His neck this is ridiculous, but he stopped, so no worries. The tights being wrong under your reasoning is just plain absurd, as I've already pointed out.
You could make a much, much better case for Joe's gear being bland in comparrison, but like Joe and his gear (a MMA-ish striker/submission demon, thus it makes perfect sense), Daniels' look is fitting. What else should he wear, a singlet? Perhaps something super original like baggy pleather pants tucked into kickpads?
His look is clean and slick and it serves it's purpose well. Maybe some more color and style would work, but that can be said for a lot of people.
I know, this has been a long e-mail about Daniels' clothes, but I felt I should point it out.
I bid you adieu',
- Kyle
Since I had a bit of free time this week (not writing a two-pager tends to free one up, ya know) – here's what I had to say in response:
Thanks for writing, Kyle.
If you go back to the article, you'll note that I never said that Daniels' ring gear was "too bland" to put him in contention for "star" status, but rather that it simply didn't suit him as well as some alternate ring-gears might. This is not to say that Joe's look is in any way "unique," of course (heck, you are absolutely right in noting that Joe's is most definitely more "bland" by comparison), but again - this is not to compare Joe's look to Daniels' look, but rather just to compare the "first impressions" (stuff that the casual fans mark for) of Daniels' overall appearance against itself (again - looks great IN the robe, looks squat without it).
It's not any one particular component of his wardrobe that I dislike (well, the collar was a little "Chippendale" for my taste, but...), per se, it's just that - together - they just don't help to accentuate the guy's "strong points" (his upper body definition, his facial intensity) while masking his "short"comings (pun intended).
Now then -
I don't take issue with non-"kickers" sporting the kickpads, but when you take them in combination with Daniels' bulkier kneepads and compression-short-like tights, the guy's overall frame (unfortunately) looks foreshortened as a result. Yeah he's canned the collar (that was overdue), but he still needs some tweaking before the "casual" fan will truly see him as being as unique (and talented) as the more devoted fans already know he is.
He's one of (if not THE) best X guys on the stick, and he's got a great gimmick (like I said, I'm a fan), but there's just something (IMO) about his current ring-attire that simply holds him back from breaking through to that next level (again, just my opinion). A solid, unique look and one heck of a gimmick - but he most defintely needs to find an outfit that better suits a guy of his stature, otherwise he looks tiny when stacked up against guys like AJ, Bentley and Roderick Strong.
-meehan
See? I'm even friendly in e-mails (note to self: live the gimmick, live the gimmick!!!). Even when they come from guys like 411's resident trouble-maker, Bayani Domingo
Johnny Johnny Johnny...
Dude, I think this is the second time but you keep calling it "Bobby Roode's Canadian Destroyer". Petey Williams hits the Canadian Destroyer, Roode has the Northern Lariat, aka clothesline to the back of the head, aka, the Canadian Donkey Punch. Plus...
Christopher Daniels' ring gear and tattoo are his downfall? Seriously, what is this? 411 eye for the straight guy? I'm one of the biggest Fallen Angel marks on the planet but it ain't the gear, if anything it's his age, plus he doesn't quite have the physique that the other X guys have, but still is better than any X wrestler on the mic and has more experience and varied styles of wrestling than any guy other than Joe. Dang...well at least he can pull off his Angel Destroyer as well as Roode pulls off...wait a sec, sorry, forgot for a second.
-b
p.s. Now that Andy Clark is on board...its only a matter of time before that brash young stable of ex-rant wars contestants form a Gen Next stable. I just don't know which of us smokes out enough to be the Jack Evans of the group...
See "what fun it is to write" for the 411 family? Gotta love that sibling rivalry, no?
Anyhow – I think I pretty well covered the wardrobe issues, but I'll wrap up this feedback-y portion by saying that I honestly don't think that Daniels' age is as big of an issue as some people make it out to be. Sure, he's no spring chicken out there – but it's not like he's Dave Batista and being asked to carry the weight of the entire TNA brand (more or less) on his shoulders, ya know. Give him a slight costuming tweak and I'd bet that Daniels will be able to go for years (barring injuries of course).
Oh, and tell your American Idol – err, "Rant Wars" – cronies that they're more than welcome to jump on my lillypad if they're feelin' froggy.
(Wow, I've SO gotta work on those trash-talkin' one-liners)…
Next up – semi-regular Jay 2K Winger, with some "copyright issues," it would seem:
I like this "recap of the year" thing you're doing for Raw, Smackdown, and TNA. Certainly helps remind people, "this guy was here, but now he's gone THERE, before he quit and wound up OVER THERE."
You've read some of my wrestling fanfic, so you'd probably get my amusement/indignation at one of SD's newest tag teams. The Gymini certainly ARE twins, and they use a power move set. If they turn around and name them Castor and Pollux (or even something similar), I'll probably have to sue the E for stealing the Gemini from "The Counter-Invasion."
-=Jay 2K Winger=-
Thanks for writing, Jay. This year-end roundup thing definitely proved to be a bit more ambitious than I'd initially thought it would be, but well worth it just the same.
As far as the Gymini go – though it's always nice to think that the ‘E is cribbing from our stuff (Hiya, Fink!) – the "identical twin" tandem has pretty well been a staple in pro wrestling since way back before the Killer Bees.
Hey, speaking of – does anybody remember that time when Hulk Hogan donned a Killer Bee mask and joined them as their tag partner? Then the ref totally played it like he didn't notice in the least when Hulkster swapped places with B. Brian Blair in one of those "quick roll-in" switcheroos that those twin teams do so well?
Shit, that was awesome.
If anybody has video and/or photographic evidence of the aforementioned incident, I will pay you all kinds of money (well, maybe just gratuitous plugging) for a copy!
Moving on… Brian Yager talks TNA turkey.
Hi,
I have watched TNA since the first match was in my hometown (Huntsville, AL). I just wanted to correct something in your article (which was excellent).
"Konnan's Shoe-throw might very well edge out Roode's Canadian Destroyer, Monty's POUNCE, and Abyss' Black Hole Slam as the single greatest move to come out of TNA in 2005."
And again later in the Team Canada summary
"A long, protracted feud between the two builds between Roode and his former stable, gradually turning the master of the Canadian Destroyer..."
Bobby Roode isn't the one that does the Canadian Destroyer…It's Petey Williams. Roode's finisher is the Northern Lariat.
Also, I would have added Shane Douglas as the backstage interviewer. He does a FANTASTIC job and helps the younger wrestler immensely. I also like Eric Young (of Team Canada). I just love the way he acts timid and scared at everything. He has a chance to make it big with his actions more then his wrestling.
Great job!
- Brian Yager
Thanks again for the edit, Brian. Can't believe that I left out The Franchise in my TNA rundown! Probably because he's just so perfect in his backstage interviewer role (not too whiny, not too pushy) that I simply forgot that he was there. Seriously – the guy is putting on some of the best performances in his career. No long, rambling promos. No non-sensical bombast about how great (read: lucky) he is, just plain and simple mic-time and knowing when to let the stick-men shine (see: Christian Cage, Raven, etc.) and when to save a backstage segment from sinking into out-and-out WrestleCrap-dom (see: Jackie Gayda, Monty Brown, etc.). So keep up the great work, Dean Douglas…and I'd be happy to sign up for your Interviewing 101 seminar ANYDAY!
Switching gears – Jay in CT has some thoughts on ‘Taker's partner for the "Big Dance" that is WrestleMania 22:
I was hoping for Taker vs. Benoit. It's one of the few big time matches that the WWE hasn't done yet. I would love to see it. Especially with Benoit as a heel. Regardless, heel, face, I'd still wanna see it and I'm sure many others will. I'm thinking now that Benoit could face off against Angle for the title. Then if Rey maybe challenges Booker for the US title and they find some legend for Orton to face (perhaps Pops?) then the only big time heel that could face Taker would be JBL., right? Uh…movin' on.
So they go interpromotional. We've seen Taker against Kane and against Show. Plus, they're all faces. HHH? Most likely in the title match. Edge? Quite possible but it will remind me too much of Taker and Orton last year. Masterpiece? Please God no. So who else is there?
Carlito Caribbean Cool!!! They could do Taker against Carlito which I'd be dying to see. Can you imagine the younger, cooler Carlito trying to start a feud with Taker? Have Carlito eliminate Taker from the Rumble match. Taker angrily gets back into the ring, chokeslams Carlito and tosses him over the top. The Dead Man leaves. Carlito is eliminated. Then the feud begins. I'd love to see CCC spit apple in the Undertaker's face! Not because I hate Taker but I really like Carlito so it would be cool! Of course Taker wins because I can't see ending his streak at this point. But Carlito could use the rub and he could also get the upper hand (especially promo wise) in the weeks leading up to the event.
Thanks for listening,
-Jay in CT
Personally, Jay – I would LOVE to see a UT/Carlito feud, if only because I'm an uber-mark for the Crown Prince of the Apple Spit. That said, though – I just dunno if the ‘E has enough confidence in young Carly to pit him against their perennial ‘Mania mainstay just yet. Taker's streak is a cash cow, and there's no way the ‘E will have anybody break it who they're not building to be a World Champion in short order. This means that Carlito would probably end up doing the "j.o.b." – and people like Mee would have to sit home crying like little girls as yet another hot prospect fell victim to the awesomeness that is the Dead Man's momentum-killing ‘Mania streak.
(I love Taker to death – pun intended – but it's totally true that he's a momentum killer ‘come Mania time).
That's why Orton's big loss last year was kind of a shocker, as everybody had pretty well pegged him as "The Guy" to lead the company into the next generation. Carlito is cool, and charismatic like few others on the WWE roster – but a future "franchise" of the company? Not so much (yet…?).
Maybe Boogeyman? There seems like a natural "two screwed up dudes who like the dark" feud built in there. ‘Cept for that tiny problem that people are actually CHEERING Boogey despite his heelishness, which pretty well would make him a "tweener" at best should he be forced to square off against the Undertaker on the biggest night of them all.
And THAT would totally kill Boogeymania dead. Unless of course he WON, and was the FACE and ‘Taker was the heel in the process. But in a phrase – "not gonna happen." So we shall see, no?
Finally –
RC noticed that the Joe/Kobashi link (as well as the AJ in WWF one) didn't work in last week's column. This is a bummer (y'all are REALLY missin' some good stuff right there), but then he sent this little gem:
Here's a new link to that joe kobashi match i think:
Maybe if I don't insert the HTML tags, the kind folks over at YouTube wont catch on that I'm sending people to their site to view material that is … ahem… "less than 100% legally obtained."
Here's hopin! So on that note…
And With That, I'm Outta' Here
That'll do it for Mee this week. Thanks again for reading, and check back next Tuesday afternoon as we continue to try and eliminate ‘netgativity one column at a time with a new take, a fresh batch of YourThinks, and VOLUME X of those glossary entries we all seem to enjoy so much.
Thanks again for reading, shoot me a line if you feel so inclined, and always stay positive!
