411 PPV Roundtable Preview: WWE Royal Rumble 2006
Posted by Stephen Randle on 01.28.2006
30 men, 1 ring, and a whole lot of wild speculation.
Ladies and gentlemen, lllllllllet's get ready to...
No, I swore I wouldn't use that lame gimmick this year. Ripping off announcers is so cliche anyway.
Kennedy!
What?
That aside, welcome to the 411 PPV Roundtable, where your faithful writers have teamed up to provide you with their unique insights into WWE's latest (and my personal favourite) PPV offering. And just for fun, I threw them all into a Rumble-style match and let them fight it out for dominance. How did everyone do? Well, we'll find out as I introduce this month's participants, both in the Roundtable, and in the first ever, completely made-up, 2006 411 Staff Rumble.
A reminder that although we are what you'd call experts, you should never use 411 staff predictions for betting purposes. But they're still better than the supposed "odds" provided on WWE.com. Viscera is 10-1 to win the Rumble, but RVD is 20-1? I want some of the drugs that oddsmaker is on. Because then I could sell them and make a fortune.
And with everything properly disclaimered, let's get underway with the introductions, as WWE presents, live from Miami, Florida on January 29, 2006, the Royal Rumble. Contact your cable company to order, but right now, sit back and enjoy the ride.
Stephen Randle, Wrestling News Experience. How I fared in 411 Staff Rumble: Well, I booked it, so it wouldn't have been fair for me to participate. Also, Larry threatened to "go Samoa Joe on my ass", and I believed him.
James "JT" Thomlison, Hidden Highlights. How he fared in 411 Staff Rumble: Eliminated when JP Prag had Christian Cage's music played, distracting the former Byte This recapper.
J. "Yayo" Hernandez, 411 Sports Editor, who felt obligated to compete because he'll be attending the Rumble. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Eliminated by the double-team efforts of the Steel Curtain team of Csonka and Gamble.
Andy Clark, The Shimmy, 411 Rant Wars runner-up. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Never entered the match, as he was ambushed by 411 Rant Wars Champion Bayani Domingo on his way to the ring.
Ryan Byers, Cheap Wrestling For Cheap People. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Eliminated by an interfering pack of ravening forum-dwellers.
Ari Berenstein, Column of Honor. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Eliminated by Larry Csonka, who then paused to flip off several ROH lemmings in the crowd.
Larry Csonka, 411 Guy in Charge of Pretty Much Everything. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: While flipping off ROH lemmings, was backstabbed by Steel Curtain teammate Ron Gamble and eliminated.
Bayani Domingo, Truth B Told. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Eliminated himself when Andy Clark returned and chased him through the crowd.
Mathew Sforcina, Evolution Schematic. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Lasted longest in the match, but eventually gang-eliminated due to his freakish intimidating size.
Steve Sullivan, 411 OVW Recapper. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Was not entered in the match. Hey, he's in OVW, after all.
Jeff Small and Scott Slimmer, Heat recappers. How they fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Unsurprisingly, eliminated each other simultaneously.
Ron Gamble, The World According To Ron. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: In the shock of the night, won the grueling 411 Staff Rumble when he eliminated fellow Pittsburgh Steeler superfan Larry Csonka.
Steve Cook, News From Cook's Corner. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Entered first, eliminated quickly. Because I said so.
Nick Marsico, News To Start Your Weekend. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Hid under the ring most of the match. Eliminated by oh....let's say Moe.
Tim O'Sullivan, 411 Sports' Round Football Column. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Forgot to enter, was off somewhere drinking with Scott Rutherford.
John Meehan, Meethinks. How he fared in the 411 Staff Rumble: Eliminated by JT after two the spent the entire match fighting over which column is more positive, Meethinks or Hidden Highlights.
That's right, I swerved you. You all thought Larry would win. With that behind us, let's move on to the real thing.
Mickie James vs Ashley - Special Referee: Trish Stratus
Stephen Randle: Mickie will not fully turn tonight. What will happen is she'll beat the living hell out of Ashley, forcing Trish to DQ her, and leading to another confrontation, with the payoff likely coming tomorrow night on Nitro...I mean Raw.
Winner: Ashley by DQ
JT: Well, it seems that they may have finally set something up for the full blown Mickie James heel turn. I am assuming it's Mickie turning because if Trish turned that would by default turn whoever she helped heel as well, and that's too many heels. Thus, I predict Trish will somehow accidentally "cost" Mickie the match, and she will finally snap.
WINNER: Ashley
Yayo: This has been one of the best storylines that Raw has been putting out recently and it may be finally getting the womens division some respect beyond the usual T&A fluff they're associated with. This is going to be a match where Mickie will likely snap due to something she interprets Trish doing as preferential to Ashley. This of course will lead to Mickie going full on heel and beating the holy shit out of Trish.
Winner: Ashley by DQ
Andy Clark: Hmmm, an intruguing women's match, who'da thunk it? I they play the Matt-Jeff card from Vengeance 2001, where Ashley wins with Mickie's foot on the rope but Trist doesn't see. I don't think the turn comes tonight though, we have too much time before Mania.
Winner: Ashley
Ryan Byers: I have to say that I've really dug the slow build in this angle. Both Trish and Alexis have played things up really well, allowing their characters to progress at a believable rate and even throwing in a few subtle red herrings about who exactly would be turning heel. It's obvious by this point that it'll be Ms. James, and that's what this match is inteded to set up. My bet is that we'll see Trish make an honest mistake that allows Ashley to pick up the victory. Mickie flips out on her post-match or on the following Raw.
Winner: Ashley "Don't Call Me Vinnie" Massaro (God, talk about a joke nobody will get.)
Ari Berenstein: Who told the women wrestlers they could wrestle? Springboard double axehandle from Ashley? WHAT…THE…HELL? I hate to even write this, but this has a chance of being decent, especially if it's dominated by Mickie and Ashley can get the springboard double axehandle. Trish giving the match to Ashley helps to fully cement the heel turn for Mickie Fatal Attraction James Gang (no, wait, that's TNA).
Winner: Ashley (via Trish DQing Mickie for getting too violent)
Larry Csonka: This should be what finally causes the full turn of Mickie James. I think Ashley will get the win, and Mickie will feel that Trish has truly picked Ashley over her and snap, then whoop both their asses after the match. And please Mickie, wear that skirt dealy still, because I dig that thick ass.
Winner: Ashley
Bayani Domingo: How can this not be the final culmination of a Mickie James heel turn? Ashley will win via DQ or because of Trish and Mickie will go all DeGrassi High on her ass and throw a hissy fit. Not the new generation though, the old skool DeGrassi.
Winner: Ashley
Mathew Sforcina: I still want Trish to turn heel out of this. Sigh, I guess a Victoria/Mickie duo will suffice. Wait, if Victoria found her original persona, the one that once came onto Stacy...SCORE!
Winner: Ashley (Trish fairly DQ's Micki, leading to Fun With Title Belt)
Steve Sullivan: Here we go. The end of this saga nears as Mickie James prepares to turn into an old school Victoria. Complete with hair pulling and screaming and maybe even some foaming. Mickie goes crazy and beats the hell out of everyone with a chair.
Winner: Ashley
Jeff Small: Intriguing Storyline/Bad Match Part 1. While it's painfully obvious that Mickie James will turn heel, there's no need for a BIG TIME turn to happen at this moment. While Mickie shouldn't be losing to a rookie, we all know that our favorite psycho lesbian will be wearing gold come Wrestlemania.
Winner: Ashley
Scott Slimmer: The popular opinion seems to be that Mickie will lose the match and finally snap on Trish, but somehow I can't see that happening. Mickie needs to be booked strong leading into her match with Trish at Wrestlemania XXII. Ashley already won the Diva's Gauntlet Match at New Year's Revolution. If she were to pick up a win over Mickie at the Royal Rumble, then she would almost have to be considered the Number One Contender instead of Mickie. I'm not sure how this will affect the ongoing Trish / Mickie storyline, but I have to believe that Mickie wins this match one way or the other in order to maintain her credibility.
Winner: Mickie James
Gamble: ... and the winners will be, well, SOMEbody, as we finally get to the "creepy stalker superfan" thing we've been told was going to happen about six months ago. Only one way to kick it off correctly...
WINNER: Ashley, with extracurricular beatdowns to follow
Steve Cook: Mickie plays her role as psycho very well, but you gotta realize that it's a natural role for 99.9% of all women to play. I dunno, there's something about Ashley that I've been growing attracted to recently. Maybe it's the fact that WWE.com has at least one good shot of her cleavage from Raw every week. Whatever it is, I am all for it. With Trish as the ref, Mickie has little chance of winning.
Winner: Ashley
Nick Marsico: It'll hopefully be quick and painless, but at least it will continue the build for the Mickie vs. Trish rematch at WrestleMania (or their third encounter, if they can't hold off on giving Mickie the title until then). Ashley's victory will just further along the "You picked HER over ME?" storyline, and we all know this.
Winner: Ashley
O'Sullivan: Hopefully they will open with this and get it out of the way. It's more of an enhancing a storyline match than anything, and with that in mind there is only one winner.
Winner: Ashley
Meehan: The best long-term storyline from WWE in the past six months comes to this little roadbump, eh? Careful, 'E - you're stretching this one out a *little* too long here. Just get to Trish/Mickie in an all out face/heel contest already, will ya?
Winner: Ashley via Trishferee judgment call, to push Mickie over the edge for good.
JBL vs The Boogeyman
Stephen Randle: I just don't think the Boogeyman should be in this position. Like him or not, JBL was WWE champion within the last year, and the Boogeyman is lower card comedy. But the Boogeyman is new, and you can't kill your new act by jobbing him cleanly on a big four PPV. But again, JBL is at a higher level and shouldn't be jobbing to a lower card comedy wrestler. Put those together and JBL takes a walk after being made to eat worms.
Yayo: JBL continues his slow descent into his new mid-card home with a match against the Boogeyman. I can see the Boogeyman getting the win here and JBL still being able to talk himself into keeping his heat. If JBL wins though you stop the Boogeyman's momentum cold (unless it's some kind of wacky DQ none of us want to see).
Winner: Boogeyman
Andy Clark: I'm actually interested in this match, but I wish the two of them would be in the Rumble too. As for the outcome I see Boogey doing something nasty, JBL runs off and gets counted out, and Boogey does something to Jillian as JBL watches on horrified.
Winner: The Boogeyman by count out
Ryan Byers: Even the least savvy of fans knows that Boogey is a comedy character who stands on the outside of your normal WWE "rankings." As a result, a loss by JBL wouldn't hurt him at all and would help keep the weirdo's act hot. I just don't want to see the Boogeyman get involved with Jillian again. God knows that if he bit off the other ridiculously fake, rubbery appendages from her body, things would be a lot messier than the first time around.
Winner: Boogeyman
Ari Berenstein: Questions: DO I HAVE TO WATCH THIS SHIT? Will we see THE MOLE? And will there be LIVE, TORRID, SEX during this match? If not, how about LIVE, TORRID, CANNIBALISM? Anyone? Anyone? I feel lonely.
Winner: Oh my fucking GOD why the hell is this match on pay per view…no I mean seriously can anyone give me a reason why this match is worth $34.95, I'd like to hear it…god. FINE. JBL. FUCK.
Larry Csonka: Boogey man is comedy, and has no business going over here. JBL still has juice as an upper main eventer, and a loss here just makes no sense to me.
Winner: JBL…the wrestling…GAWD!
Bayani Domingo: Does anyone realize that the Boogeyman is undefeated just like Lashley? Wow, who says Vince doesn't push brutha's to the top? Oh, that's right...ME... and Booker T. My gut tells me JBL needs this win more.
Winner: JBL
Mathew Sforcina: If this ain't No DQ, then I don't care.
Winner: JBL (New Consultant Debut)
Steve Sullivan: Am I the only one that is looking forward to this match? We haven't been blessed to see The Boogeyman in real action and THAT is why people will buy this Pay Per View other than the Rumble match, and the title matches and...well yeah ok. It's still going to be a fun match. Nobody has ever actually seen The Boogeyman wrestle. We've seen him beat the hell out of some jobbers but we've never seen him take any punishment. He won't take much though. He rises up similar to Taker and Kane.
Winner: The Boogeyman
Jeff Small: Intriguing Storyline/Bad Match Part Deux. While I've been enjoying this feud, it's time for it to end. Unless Jillian Hall becomes a BIG TIME love interest for the Boogeyman, there's no reason as to why JBL won't win this match. Boogeyman's over but not enough to defeat a top-tier Wrestling God.
Winner: JBL
Scott Slimmer: With Smackdown's title picture in a constant state of flux, it would be wise to let JBL retail some shred of credibility in case he ever needs to be thrust back into the title picture. Besides, the Boogeyman's popularity has absolutely nothing to do with his win / loss record (or lack thereof at this point).
Winner: JBL
Gamble: I'm stuck here. If JBL wins, we get to hear him talk about how he overcame his fears. If Boogeyman wins, maybe he'll lick Dusty Rhodes' birthmark next. Or maybe, he could switch over to Raw and spit on Carlito's Afro pick, so he can have decent hair for once. Eh, there's more potential for WW brand High-Jinks (R) if one certain person wins, and we all know how much Vincey loves his High-Jinks (R).
WINNER: He's gonna Boogey Oogey Oogey till he just can't Boogey no more
Steve Cook: It's a wrestling god vs. wrestling's worst nightmare. If the Boogeyman was a complete flop like most of us expected, JBL would get the win here. Since he seems to be getting over pretty well, I expect some sort of shenanigans to lead to JBL getting disqualified and the Boogeyman doing something goofy. It's the easy choice, which is why I'm going with it.
Winner: I'M THE BOOGEY MAN! AND I'M COMING TO GETCHA!
Nick Marsico: Uh, this also will probably be fairly short, but too long for what it will accomplish, which is nothing. JBL will be very afraid, and probably just walk away.
Winner: Boogeyman via Count Out
O'Sullivan: This is an interesting one, because Smackdown seem to have something with this Boogeyman character. The 21st century Papashango, but without his opponent bleeding black......hopefully. The problem with a character like this, is that a pinfall loss will damage his mystique big time. I kind of agree with the JBL walking away theory, but instead I'll go for a sick chair shot to force the hand of the bell boy.
Winner: Boogeyman via DQ.
Meehan: We all know that i loves me some Boogeyman, so I'm gonna be pullin' for that poor little freak hardcore come this Sunday. JBL can afford the loss, and it's Boogey's PPV debut, so...
Winner: Da Boogeyman, mah damies.
Kurt Angle(c) vs Mark Henry - World Heavyweight Championship
Stephen Randle: And you thought Lesnar-Holly was the worst Rumble title match you would ever have to live through. There's really only one result here, so we'll move on.
Winner: Kurt Angle
JT: The screams of WWE Creative in terms of "let's have Mark Henry off TV for 5 years, bring him back, push him, and put the belt on him six months before his contracts ends. Fortunately for us, this also screams Vince McMahon, and the fact that there is no way in Hell he will let that happen. We all know this is a transition match setting up Angle to be one of the headlines at WrestleMania
WINNER: and STILL World Heavyweight Champion, Kurt Angle
Yayo: There is no way in hell this is going to be an interesting match. Henry is slow and not even so strong. Kurt will have to carry Henry but I don't think anyone can wrap their head around Mark Henry world champion.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Andy Clark: This will be the traditional suckfest of a Rumble title match (Trips-Steiner, Brock-Holly, Trips-Orton). If anyone actually thinks Henry stands a chance in hell they have no business wasting precious oxygen.
Winner and still World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
Ryan Byers: Kurt, meet the world's largest broomstick.
Winner: Angle
Ari Berenstein: What role will Shelton's Mama play in this match? Look, as much as Mark Henry has come around the last few months (and in OVW he has succeeded tremendously playing the enforcer character for Jeter, but as a main event title contender…no), there is about a zero percent chance of the title changing hands in this match. Mark Henry IS the Hardcore Holly of this year's Royal Rumble. And in the words of Angle: "YEAAAAAAH!" (I think it must be the come down / withdrawal from Roid Rage). And Davari, prepare to have your ass kicked again.
Winner: Kurt FREAKING Angle
Larry Csonka: If Mark Henry were to win, I would really have to reconsider the whole religion deal. I will say that he has done ok since his return, but I just think that it's a little too late on the 10-year investment. Angle is suffering from back and neck problems, so having this match just makes me shake my head. I hope that they keep it short and that Angle doesn't do too many stupid things, because I don't think they want to have to anoint a new Smackdown Champion if one of Angle's arms or some shit falls off.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Bayani Domingo: "Ebony and Ivory…live together in perverted harmony…" I'm giving the win to the one who likes to have "filthy animal" sex with sluts. Yeah, that one.
Winner: Angle
Mathew Sforcina: I still maintain Henry should fight Taker at WM. He's on his way out, it'd be an impressive win, why not? But anyway, onto the forego...sorry, world title match.
Winner, and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Freaking Angle (Ankle Lock X (Infinity Symbol))
Steve Sullivan: Mark Henry Co-Main Eventing at one of The Big 4. I never thought I'd see the day. For a guy the WWE just can't wait to get rid of, they let him battle maybe one of the greatest wrestlers ever at the (in my opinion) 2nd Biggest Pay Per View of the year. That won't last long.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Jeff Small: While I've had a BIG TIME hard-on for Mark Henry as of late, he's not winning this match. I do expect the match to be much better than most believe as Angle will have on his working shoes and Henry's been impressive as of late.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Scott Slimmer: The last time the World Heavyweight Championship was defended on pay-per-view was when Batista faced Eddie Guerrero at No Mercy on October 9. It's amazing, and quite sad, how drastically the title picture has changed in only three months. As for the match at hand, I think we're all in agreement that there is no way in Hell that Mark Henry will defeat Kurt Angle and win the World Heavyweight Championship. Of course, most of us also thought that Gregory Helms would defeat Jerry "The King" Lawler at New Year's Revolution, so be prepared for either eventuality.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Gamble: He sucks, he sucks... oh, wait, that still doesn't tell you anything...
WINNER: My Olympic Hero (and fellow Stillers fan, ta boot!)
Steve Cook: Henry has about as much a chance here as Hardcore Holly had against Brock Lesnar in 2004. If I need to tell you why, you either haven't been watching Smackdown or you're drinking the Mark Henry Kool-Aid. I tried it once and spit it out because it was disgusting.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Nick Marsico: Angle makes miracles happen all the time. It's Kurt Angle, people. He had a pretty good match with the Big Show a couple years ago, and he'll surely be able to pull something decent out of the seemingly motivated Henry on Sunday.
Winner: And STILL World Heavyweight Champion, Kurt Angle
O'Sullivan: The transition back to Smackdown, and subsequent title win, was a bit hollow in my book but he's my favourite wrestler so I'm just glad he's cemented back in the title picture. As a heel, Henry isn't actually doing that badly but a swift title switch would be ridiculous.
Winner: And STILL Champ, Kurt Angle
Meehan: Henry's swansong in the 'E after a "storied" ten-year career will all come down to this match. And like just about everything else in Big Mark's career, he'll probably leave the Rumble feeling disappointed - cause there's NO way that Kurt is losing here.
Winner: YOUR Olympic Hero (cue Turin theme music) - Kurt Angle.
Edge(c) vs John Cena - WWE Championship
Stephen Randle: Why do my boys have to fight like this? Okay, Edge cannot be a transitional champion, and it seems more and more that they've actually decided to hold off on Cena-Trip. Well, we'll know more about that truth after the Rumble, but Edge deserved more than a three-week reign, and I'm pretty sure they know it.
Winner: Edge
JT: This is kind of a hard one to pick for me. I would have to think that they wouldn't put the belt on Cena this quickly after how stale it was becoming not even a month ago. I also think that somehow, HHH will get screwed in the Rumble, and it'll end up being Edge vs. John Cena vs. HHH in a Triple Threat match at WrestleMania. In any circumstance however, I don't see Cena winning this.
WINNER: and STILL WWE Champion, Edge
Yayo: It would be common sense for Cena to win back the belt, since they didn't even bother changing it from his spinner version. But Edge has made Raw somewhat fresh again, and although I don't like him, I don't see him dropping the title quite yet.
Winner: Edge
Andy Clark: Tough call, but even WWE creative can't screw this one up.
Winner and still WWE Champion: Edge
Ryan Byers: Everything that's been going on in WWE main event scene for the last three to four months had one logical conclusion - John Cena defending against Triple H at Wrestlemania. Then Edge came out of nowhere and seemingly turned all of that on its head. If I were a betting man, I would say that the title change was done for primary purpose of throwing fans off the track of the ridiculously obvious main event. As such, Johnny boy sets things straight here.
Winner: Cena
Ari Berenstein: Edge as champion has freshened up the WWE Title scene, so I really hope he isn't the transition champion…Edge has real heat now because he is a scumbag. Cena has decreased his booos dramatically as the challenger chasing the title and Ric Flair has become THE NATCHA BOY RIC FLAIR WOOOOOOOO once more…totally reborn. That said, this is the part of the story where WWE totally fucks all the positive momentum created from the last few weeks of good shows and reverts to status quo. However, being the dumbass cynical pessimistic optimistic mark smart mark that I am I am going TOTALLY AGAINST WWE Logic. I will be willing to look like a moron if I am wrong.
Winner: Edge
Larry Csonka: I feel the need for us to look at something first:
"Andy Clark: Tough call, but even WWE creative can't screw this one up."
Lord, this is the company that pisses angles and money away with no after thought. Sorry Andy, just wanted to share the joke with everyone else. I think they need to keep it on Edge. Cena without the title is fresh and there is money in the chase. This past week on Raw I started to dig Edge more, as I really liked the promo. No need to take the title off of him yet, and I think it makes WM more interesting with him with the title.
Winner: Edge
Bayani Domingo: Who in the name of Randy Orton loses a title at the PPV after they just won it?
Winner: Edge
Mathew Sforcina: Step 1.
Winner, and STILL WWE Champion: Edge (Fun with Lita/possible DQ victory for Cena.)
Steve Sullivan: I'm not sure how but Edge isn't going to drop the title just yet. It's going to be a hell of a match and I almost look for Chris Masters, Ric Flair, and Triple H to all make run ins during this match.
Winner: Edge
Jeff Small: The John Cena experiment is finally over!!! Long live the reign of the Rated R Superstar and his BIG TIME ho.
Winner: Edge
Scott Slimmer: Edge as the arrogant, STD-ridden champion and Cena as the hungry challenger works far better than Edge as the whiny, STD-ridden challenger and Cena as the street-smart champion. Raw has actually been interesting for the last three weeks, and much of the credit should go to Edge and Cena in their new roles. There's no reason to fix what isn't broken, so look for Edge to defeat Cena and carry the belt until at least Wrestlemania XXII.
Winner: Edge
Gamble: I know how I WANT this to end, but I don't think they can get that much cole slaw and fish sticks cleared out of the ring before the Rumble. You want a winner? I'll give you a winner...
WINNER: Edge
Steve Cook: Call me crazy, but I don't think Edge's transitional reign is quite over yet. If a Smackdown guy goes over in the Rumble (which I'm predicting), there's no reason they can't prolong the Edge/Cena feud that's been going over pretty well with the Raw audience. Have Edge cheat like all hell to win here, then Cena has to beat somebody else on Raw to earn a rematch with Edge because Mr. McMahon likes to make good guys work hard for their title shots. Sounds good to me, which is probably why it won't happen. I'm still predicting it though.
Winner: Edge
Nick Marsico: I fear for this. It should be a pretty good match, but Edge, more than likely (likely enough for me to predict Cena, in fact) he will be that transitional champion that he claims he won't be. I don't know. Meh, honestly.
Winner: And NEW WWE Champion, John Cena
O'Sullivan: A year ago this contest wouldn't have intrigued me in the slightest, but I am looking forward to this now. In terms of wrestling I'm not expecting anything past the ***1/2 barrier, but with the right booking they can make this a well told brawl.
Winner and still el champino: RAW ratings enhancing Edge.
Meehan: Edge is the bane of my RAW-watching existence, but his title reign thus far has definitely piqued the interest of the casual viewer once again. So if Vinny Mac can stretch it out a bit and make a few more bucks in the process, then you just *know* he'll sieze that opportunity in a heartbeat. Cena will get it back eventually, but not yet.
Winner: Cena, via DQ.
Royal Rumble Match
Participants Announced: Animal, Big Show, Booker T, Carlito, Chavo Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Chris Masters, Coach, Joey Mercury, Johnny Nitro, Kane, Lashley, Matt Hardy, Orlando Jordan, Psicosis, Randy Orton, Rey Mysterio, Ric Flair, RVD, Shawn Michaels, Shelton Benjamin, Simon Dean, Super Crazy, Sylvan, Trevor Murdoch, Triple H, Viscera
Stephen Randle: Okay, logically, from the list above, the people who have even a slim hope in hell of getting a WrestleMania title shot are: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, RVD, Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio, and Randy Orton. Shawn's going to get screwed by Vince, we all know it. RVD is faint hope by me and his other fans that they might not book him like a chump. Despite what people say, Flair really has no chance. Rey's getting a minor push and may get the match with Angle in the end, but I don't think it'll be via the Rumble. Benoit's the dark horse, but will likely be in some form of US title match. So that leaves Triple H and Orton. Is there really a lesser evil? Well, for my non Cena-Trip match to come true, I guess it has to be...
Winner: Randy Orton
JT: The Rumble will be the Rumble; most all the major players will be in it towards the end, people will get screwed thus setting up some matches for WM, and like *most* years, it will be enjoyable. But this is Rey's year. Is it for the right reason? Probably not (i.e. this will be due to circumstances, not Vince finally deciding he wants Rey to headline WM). Either way, he's due, and I think he'll finally get it here, and go on to WrestleMania to face Kurt Angle.
WINNER: Rey Mysterio (although I wouldn't mind seeing Shawn Michaels winning, going to SmackDown! [they could use the help], and giving us Angle vs. HBK 5 3 at WM)
Yayo: Look for Randy Orton to win the Rumble and face off with Angle at WM. Any other SD! choices are either one's we've seen to many times already (with Angle) or not plausible. This way they can transition the belt to Orton and have Batista chase him upon his return (which I believe Orton v. Batista was what they wanted for this WM). On the Raw side Edge is going to stay champ, HBK will be fighting Vince at WM, and none of the other faces make my toes tingle.
Winner: Randy Orton
Andy Clark: This should be great, as most have been (2002 being the notable exception). I love how its pretty wide open this year. This should be Rey's year. Triple H WILL NOT win the Rumble, and I guarantee you he won't make the final four and be promptly tossed by Big Show. Rey wins the Royal Rumble and will win the World Title at WrestleMania 22 from your Olympic Hero.
Winner: Rey Mysterio (last eliminating Randy Orton)
Ryan Byers: Of all the men in the match, only three are legitimate potential winners - HHH, HBK, and RKO. (No, RVD does NOT count, silly holdover ECW marks.) Michaels is occupied with his McMahon feud and probably won't have time for a WM title match as a result. I've already said that Triple H will probably be going up against Cena . . . but, really, he doesn't need a win here in order to build up that match. He's a legitimate threat to the title no matter what happens. That leaves us with Randy Orton. It looked like his lengthy feud with the Undertaker was the perfect way to once again elevate him to World Heavyweight Title status. Then, he inexplicably dropped the blowoff match between the two win. Why? It could well be because WWE knew it could use the Rumble as a tool for building him right back up for his brand's Mania main event.
Winner: Randy Orton
Ari Berenstein: Viscera. Definitely gotta go with Viscera. Oh SNAP, wait, no, that's the "BUFFET TABLE RUMBLE" match after the show (Fat Joke, sorry, yeah, that was too easy). HHH has a great shot at taking it for himself and I would buy this pay per view were it not for the fact that I AM afraid that he will win, and there is no way I am paying (how much again?) $34.95 to see Triple H win the fucking Rumble. On the other hand, I would love to see Rey Mysterio take it all (and it would be awesome for him to main event and win the title against Angle at Mania 22, which, by the way I don't think anyone has mentioned yet that Rey has NEVER beaten Angle before, so that would make the underdog story even better) but it may be asking too much to believe in a miracle Rumble win. Of course the WWE could be high enough for Rob Van Dam to win (HAHAHAHA the pun involved and the ridiculous of believing that RVD would actually WIN). Then on the other hand…I'm definitely feeling Animal. He deserves the win. Hey…there are five spots in the match left as of this writing…there are five guys in THE SPIRIT SQUAD! YEAH BABY! GO TEAM SPIRIT! RUIN THOSE CAREERS! GIVE ME AN F! GIVE ME AN I! AN R! AN E! A D! WHAT'S THAT SPELL? VINCE MCMAHON IS A FUCKING IDIOT! Wow…this has been a bunch of stream of conscious….I swear guys, I'm not on drugs (after all I'm straight edge for CM PUNK XXXXXXXXX). Finally, I'll agree with JT and say that Shawn Michaels does not get screwed, but wins the Rumble and we get Angle-Michaels V for the WHT at Mania 22. But I'll still be pulling for Rey Rey… I BELIEVE IN YOU REY!
Winner: The Coach, no wait, HBK
Larry Csonka: I made this pick a while back, so I refuse to bitch out and change my pick.
Winner: The H's!
Bayani Domingo: We got 4 viable candidates, HHH, HBK, Randy Orton, and Rey Mysterio Jr. Cena vs Edge at WM is a certainty, however I think HHH will find his way into the mix w/o the need for a Royal Rumble win. Randy Orton and Rey have recently done jobs on Smackdown so its not as if they are being built up. HBK is probably going to be screwed again by Vince setting up something for WM as well. So I guess no one is going to win. Or… just go with the "most underutilized" guy on Smackdown… *wink*.
Winner: Rey Mysterio Jr.
Mathew Sforcina: RVD and Lashley get Diesel pushes before eliminating each other, HBK and Carlito are your first two entrants, Orton enters twice, but at the end of the day, this is just Step 2.
Winner: John Cena (FU to HBK over the top rope)
Steve Sullivan: I'm going to stick with my gut feeling here. The 20 man battle royal on Smackdown possibly gave it away that someone from Smackdown was going to win it. I could be wrong but that's just the feeling I get. Rob Van Dam seems favorable and may be the last one eliminated to get over as a top contendor for Raw AFTER Wrestlemania. Triple H will NOT win The Royal Rumble. It would make no sense to have him win it and completely ignore the feud with The Big Show they have been pushing. Show and Trips will eliminate each other. Randy Orton will find himself face to face with The Undertaker again. It wouldn't make a lot of sense to see Randy when this when he's currently involved with his "Favor" of Booker T. Although I'd absolutely love to see an Orton vs. Angle match. I have to agree with the majority of my fellow writers and go with Rey. He's riding high. He showed that he can wrestle with the heaviest of wrestlers when he took on Mark Henry. The fans are behind him 100% and it is the only story the WWE could really use to make everyone feel like they saw history happen after watching the event. For someone who, a year or so ago, WWE creative had nothing for and it seemed as though they'd release Rey, he's about to find himself headlining Wrestlemania.
Winner: Rey Mysterio Jr.
Jeff Small: I truly believe that the WWE gave away the winner of this match once Rey dedicated the match to Eddie. While Rey's always had an outside chance to win, it's either now or never for our favorite WCW Cruiserweight. At the Rumble, the glass ceiling will shatter BIG TIME as Rey Mysterio will eliminate Triple H to head onto the main event at Wrestlemania.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Scott Slimmer: The major players are Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Randy Orton, and Rey Mysterio. Van Dam is only a major player because of the hype surrounding his return. Look for him to make a significant impact in the match, but I don't see him winning the match and being thrust into the title hunt so soon. Triple H still has unfinished business with Big Show, so look for them to eliminate each other. I still don't think Orton is ready for the main event, and I think that in this match his attention will be focused on one of the five "mystery" entrants: the Undertaker. Look for Orton and Taker to eliminate each other in order to set up the REAL blow-off to their feud at Wrestlemania XXII where Orton will finally end Taker's undefeated streak. Michaels will have his hands full with another of the "mystery" entrants: Vince McMahon. Look for McMahon to enter the match and "screw" Michaels himself. It's like 1999 all over again. Thus Mysterio seems to be the winner based almost solely on the fact that he isn't currently feuding with anyone and might as well challenge Angle for the title.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Gamble: By the way, have you noticed how I didn't use the Magic 8-Ball for this? Yup, these predictions are all me, baby. I think, to promote the Hall of Fame ceremonies before WM22, they'll have at least one Legends participant, and seeing as how Cena mentioned him this week, I'll go with My Close Personal Friend, Hacksaw Jim Duggan. I can also see several possible winners, who would all do well in the main event at WM22. On Smackdown, there's Randy Orton and Chris Benoit, but I think they'll probably have those two face off at WM. Booker probably won't be ready to go full steam ahead for Sunday, so I can't pick him. On Raw, Trips is the obvious choice, so I can't pick him. Forget Coach, just because. Kane and Show are still tag champs, so they're out. Carlito and Chris Masters are still not ready, no matter what they're trying to get us to believe. Chavito and Rey Rey would be a good way to honor Eddy, but they won't get it. RVD is just coming back, so he won't win. Shawn Michaels and Shelton Benjamin will probably go against each other, even though we were supposed to forget they had an issue going right before Momma came along. It seems to me, there's only one logical choice to win and beat the champion of his brand at WM22.
Winner: Ric Flair
Steve Cook: Shawn Michaels is getting screwed. Triple H is a lowly mid-carder, as is Randy Orton, Chris Benoit, and countless others. Rob Van Dam...heh heh. Sforcina made an interesting pick with Cena, but I like my scenario for that feud better. Is Rey Mysterio a "believable" pick to win a 30 man battle royal with 29 guys that are bigger than him? No, but that's what will make it so cool when Mysterio overcomes all obstacles and main events the biggest show of the year. Do you believe in miracles?
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Nick Marsico: It should be interesting like it always is, except this year there are way more guys than usual who can possibly win. HHH, Orton, 'Taker if he's in, Mysterio... well that's 4. I'll be doing my "Chris Jericho tension" rooting for Rey in this one, which means that, much like in just about every Jericho match (ESPECIALLY vs. Rocky at Vengeance 2001 and the 2003 Rumble match), I will be rooting for Rey HARD, feeling plenty of tension, and on the absolute furthest edge of my seat every time Rey even comes close to being eliminated. I'm afraid that either Orton or HHH will win, but Rey is my number one choice this year. I GOTTA see Rey beat Angle in the 'Mania main event to win the belt. Please Vince, please book it. PLEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSEEE.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
O'Sullivan: The predictions of Rey Rey doing the unthinkable has left me shocked and intrigued, but it would be cool to see. Because there is two title matches to determine at Mania, I've always thought they should give the Rumble win to the guy thats not in the 'carved in stone' Mania title match, if you see what I mean. For example, going with Cena instead of Batista last year, or Angle in 2004. Anyway, despite all that I still think it'll be HHH and HBK left in the final 2 with Vince screwing the latter.
Winner: HHHHHH
Meehan: Here's what I *don't* want to see happen - HBK draws #1 (via Vince's wacky machinations, of course), and he lasts all the way till the final two vs. ANYONE (let's say Hunter, for argument's sake). If this goes down, then we all just KNOW that The Chairman will make his presence known via ringside and cost The Showstoppah the bout, which pretty well will suck any of the remaining drama right out of the match from the moment HBK enters the ring in the earliest slot. Let's dream the impossible dream and say...
Winner: Who's Dat Longshot Little Guy? R-E-Y Mysterio, here we hope...
