Your News, My Views 01.31.06
Posted by Larry Csonka on 01.31.2006
The flagship is here, accept no imitations.
Welcome one and all to the show that never ends, Csonkamania! First off, if you have sent me an email today, I didn't get it. My ISP was having issues, so if you sent me something important, and really want an answer, hit me up again. Secondly, JD Dunn is obviously shooting the propaganda out of his ass by saying that I am a threat to national security. Thirdly, the staff keeps wanting to steal my gimmicks. Fourth, Randle is a punk that doesn't realize that so called "Canadian Bacon" is actually just, Ham.
Finally, thanks to the over 1,000 people that voted in the Royal Rumble poll! I have all new fancy polls, so that you don't have to email me. Stay tuned for all new fancy polls from me, and stay tuned for those other bitches on the staff to steal yet another gimmick.
Don't forget about the 411 Wrestling Hall of Fame! Go check it out everyone, and send the writers some feedback!
Time to get to work!
O FN RLY!:
Yeah, once again, we have some people that need bitched at. First of all, to all of you assholes that emailed me last night during the Rumble and bitched and moaned about the site slowing down for a while. I am sorry that we had so many damn people on the site, the fact is that Rey winning the Rumble about crashed the entire Intraweb. Shit happens, this is a FREE SERVICE for you, I do my best, but sometimes shit happens. Don't bitch and cry like an asshole, if you want to see shit that bad, order the fucking show.
Also, to the asshole that told me to, "Improve my copy and pasting skills" during live coverage.
EAT ME!
I DO NOT COPY AND PASTE LIVE RESULTS! 411 has the BEST live results, and yes that is me patting myself on the back. The live coverage has grown hit wise leaps and bounds since I took it over, so piss off.
Now, onto the asshole of the week. I got this from "Brett" regarding last week's "3R's column" and my counterpart Geoff.
Hey Geoff, do me a favor and go eat a dick. I don't like the boogeyman, I love him. Good for the WWE in bringing in someone from Tough Enough that had a ton of charisma and a great look, not to mention energy out the ass. And good for them bringing in an actual, ::gasp::, character. I have absolutely no clue what the hell your problem is with the Boogeyman, but it's actually become somewhat of a problem when reading your portion of the column. Is that all you do in your spare time... bitch like a child that the boogeyman is on your television? You know, I may not like Csonka's opinions very much, but at least he's got some insight. I, for the life of me, cannot figure out why you're taking up space of my PC screen. And that's why, even though it's interesting (when I'm reading what Csonka has typed), WRestling's 3R's will not be on my "to read" list anymore.
As for you Csonka, my advice to you is to find another partner. One who'll actually use the space of your column to inform readers instead of bash wrestlers that he doesn't enjoy. There are several, very talented people on 411 who would be great writing in WRestling's 3R's, but as long as Geoff writing a portion, consider yourself minus one reader.
Now see, you could have written and said that you didn't enjoy his views and the column, but here you go into my email inbox with all kinds of attitude. Listen here crack-baby, Geoff's opinions are his own and he will continue to express them in the 3R's as long as he doesn't eat kittens or burn small children on a BBQ grill. I love how you think all he does is bash wrestlers as well, dude writes 2,000 words on average, and you pull out like 300 of them to judge him.
Then, you get all attitude and demand I remove him or you won't read me? Son, you aren't shit to me. One hit doesn't mean shit to me when you are nothing but an asshole. Don't read the column, and go back to beating off on the Boogeyman while letting worms crawl up your ass shot for brains. Fuck you very much.
Poll Time!:
Raw-Liners!:
Damn right it was a fluke Edge! Go get him!
Wait, we have tag champs on Raw?
Power walking Vince!
Shane vs. HBK at WM would be SO MUCH COOLER than Vince vs. HBK.
SHANE O MAC BABY!
Abuse of power?? ABUSE OF POWER! ABUSE OF POWER! ABUSE…OF…POWER!
Shawn is shooting with Christianity!
VIVA SHANE O MAC!
Hey it's RVD, are they going to job him already?
Snitsky? God I hope RVD doesn't job.
Wow, this match blows; what a shitty return for him to Raw.
I always liked the RVD frog splash. Nice and high, and I LOVE that he sells the effects on himself.
MAMMA! Bwahahaha! Goldust, so does he not have touretts syndrome anymore?
Just in case you forgot, Eddie is dead everyone.
HHH took it out already on Chavo last night because he eliminated him. He eliminated Chavo so quickly because only Rey was allowed to have the, "Eddie is dead, cheer for me" heat.
King says it isn't about Eddie, right. Sweet Christ, they are just hitting us over the head with the Eddie shit. I so need communion this week, because the anger is growing.
That was cute; HHH and Eddie had a little conversation.
Chavo got spiked there.
Carlito and Masters are talking in the back, "is this about last night…you said it wouldn't get weird…it got weird didn't it?"
Wasn't Show's hand still all taped up from injury last night?
They need to make a fucking decision, either push Masters and Carlito or don't.
Crazy Mickie celebrates Trish, there could be crazy lesbian overtones…I am SO THERE!
Maria has lovely cleavage.
DAMN YOU GOLDUST! Look what he did to MAMMA!
MAMMA pulled a Konnan and threw a shoe, and in Orlando interestingly enough!
Flair and the ladies!
Holy shit, Flair is talking!
Oh shit, kill me now…the Spirit Squad.
Wait, is Trish going to say that SHE LOVES ASHLEY! SWERVE COMING~!~?~!~?
Fuck you Diva skank, Crazy Mickie rules!
Trish's boobs are shiny.
I demand more skank from Lita, I do NOT approve.
Wonder how that previously torn pec is feeling.
Rated R…for RANA~!
That is a swank facelock with body scissors.
MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER OMGWTFROTFLMAO!!1!11!1!!!
MAIN EVENT REF BUMP WTF~~~~~~~!
Hey Edge, more than once and you're playing with it.
Right. Um, ok…that was an ending.
Guest Rawliners from long time reader, lover of caps, my boy Dwayne!
BY GAWD! BIG SHOW AND KANE ARE PUTTING THE TITLES ON
THE LINE TONIGHT!
Has anyone noticed that King has been trying to act
like the host of the show ever since JR left Raw? Has
anyone also noticed how hard Styles has been trying to
cover up for King's lack of vague color analysis?
Finally, WHY CAN'T LAWLER COME UP WITH ANYTHING
ORIGINAL THESE DAYS? HE'S RECYCLING THE SAME SHIT OVER
AND OVER AGAIN FROM PREVIOUS RAWS. I don't know
whether this is a Raw liner or not, but Larry, I just
decide to point it out.
Instead of always King dissing Styles whenever Styles
asks "whatever a move must feel like", why doesn't
Lawler bring his experience perspective to the table
instead of cracking corny jokes and making up excuses
to elude Style's answers?
WHATS THE PURPOSE OF KEEPING THE WORLD TAG-TEAM TITLES
ON KANE AND BIG SHOW? THE TITLES SHOULD HAVE CHANGED
HANDS HERE TONIGHT. CARLITO AND MASTERS WOULD HAVE
MADE A DECENT TAG-TEAM.
FUCK LITA AND EDGE PERFORMING LIVE SEX! I WANT TO SEE
MICKIE AND TRISH PERFORM LIVE SEX TONIGHT ON
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
HOLY SHIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW! THE
INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE IS ACTUALLY GOING TO BE
UTILIZED IN A STORYLINE THAT HAS POTENTIAL!
:FAINTS:
MICKIE'S MIC SKILLS ARE AWESOME!
MAMA BOYS DON'T WIN CHAMPIONSHIPS AND TO BE THE MAN,
YOU GOTTA BEAT THE MAN, AND YOU SURE AS HELL CAN'T BE
NO MAMA'S BOY!
LARRY....DO YOU SMELL THAT? I SMELL A HEEL TURN!
ASHLEY NEEDS SOME NEW THEME MUSIC.
DAMNIT! I WANT HER TO ATTACK TRISH! FUCK ASHLEY! By
the way I mean that in a good way and a bad way.
Gotta love Jame's energy!
No title belt around Edge + Cena = 3.something
ratings. No more 4.0 ratings until Edge gets da belt
back my friends. Well, maybe they'll get lucky.
WWE news, notes and happenings:
Your News from the Wrestling Observer (My Views in bold):
Significant neck damage has led to Kurt Angle having his hand go numb again. He's set for another MRI this week.
Kurt didn't look good at the Rumble. So of course having that Mark Henry match was so smart. Angle is falling apart, and it is getting kind of scary. I hope that if he needs it that he takes the time off for his well-being. He is also reportedly back with his wife. Get better for your wife and daughter's sake man.
JBL heeled it up by saying he beat Mil Mascaras for the Mexican Hwy Title back in the 90's.
JBL is awesome, that's all that has to be said.
Flair/Edge TLC was the highest rated match in over a year.
That is cool, good idea taking the title off of Edge.
Finlay's debut brought in 500,000 extra viewers for Smackdown.
Everyone loves the drunken Irish man!
Kevin Von Erich's son Ross wants to be a wrestler, he's 18 and about to train.
Ross, run, run right now dude. Do not do it man, the Von Erich curse is to much!
Cena vs. HHH is on tap for WrestleMania. Many agents were pulling for Edge to keep the belt due to recent big ratings with him on top.
Here is the deal, everyone basically wanted to keep the title on Edge, while HHH and Steph wanted to take the title off of him. Why?
HHH said that Cena was getting heat because Angle doesn't know how to play heel.
Right, so did Jericho do a bad job as well? No, people decided to turn on Cena is what happened. Hey HHH, you know that YOU get some face pops already. Go against Cena, and you WILL be a face by the end of it. Of course then you'll probably tell Vince that the crowd is smart, and loves and respects you and you tried your best. Damn, I like the H's but this shit is SO stupid, and he has no room to talk about "working like a heel" because half of his matches he tries to work face like, kind of like how Flair tends to do.
Vince wanted to run WM 23 at Pontiac Silverdome as a 20-year anniversary, but Ford's Field looks to be the new choice
Ford's Field eh? JT just blew a load and passed out.
Superstar Billy Graham and Vince had a angle planned, but Graham wanted to get physical and Vince didn't want Graham to accidentally get hurt; plans for the angle were then dropped.
Probably for the best, Graham did have a Kidney was it replacement? He is pretty run down because of the roids and all, I can see why Vince nixed this. Maybe they could have just let Graham knock the shit out of him and call it a day!
Burchill will turn face soon.
Interesting. Feud him with Finlay, that'll teach that boy the right way.
Prior to Dean Visk being cut, Creative contacted the 46 year old WARLORD (of POP) to ask if he's like to make a comeback as a team with Visk.
Why?
Terry Funk is rumored to be the main draw of One Night Stand II.
First of all, isn't that title sort of redundant? Secondly, I wonder about Funk's financial stability. Last year he chose Hardcore Homecoming over the E's show because HH was the "real" ECW show and he didn't want to help Vince "make money off of something he helped kill." Funk has recently sold the famous "Double Cross Ranch," which is something I thought would never happen.
Your News: Press releases and promotional material for the new CW Network all feature WWE Smackdown, indicating that the network would like to keep Smackdown on the air. CW will announce their schedule in May, which means that WWE basically has until then to reach a new deal with the network as their current deal expires in September.
- Not even WWE management knew about the WB/UPN merger until today when the news broke.
- It is unlikely that Smackdown will be moved to Saturday nights on CW as right now, CW plans to not air original programming that night.
-Smackdown was picked up for two more years.
My Views: All I know is I hope that this means that I can eventually watch Smackdown on a regular basis for the first time since 2000 or so. It is a sign of how the E is viewed that they didn't know about this, just like the switch to Friday was a surprise. Let's hope that the "CW" realizes that SD is one of their best ratings getters and stays smart and keeps them.
Your News: Carlito was in attendance at the Miami Heat vs. Phoenix Suns NBA game in Miami last night. He was heavily taunting Heat player Jason Williams until Shaquille O'Neal came up from behind on Carlito and hit him with a chair. Footage of the incident will be up on WWE.com later today.
With the Royal Rumble in Miami this Sunday, the incident was likely a planned angle between WWE and Shaq. Shaq has worked with WWE and WCW in the past.
It does not look like WWE will be able to continue the Carlito/Shaq angle at the Royal Rumble this Sunday due to the Miami Heat having a road game. Any thought of a WrestleMania match is also unlikely due to the Heat having a game that night as well.
My Views: Well, sure they got play on Sports Center and some stuff and that is cool. But they don't really need the attention. What sucks is that Shaq coming in to work Carlito at WM is a HUGE MONEY program that will never happen. I am having WCW flashbacks, they shoot this great deal, but because of circumstances there probably can never be a good follow through.
Your News: In an interview with IGN.com, Shawn Michaels says he wants to do something special at WrestleMania and mentioned working against the Rock, but the Rock shot the idea down. The Rock is still refusing to work with Michaels because Michaels treated him badly when he was breaking into the business.
My Views: There is also more to the story. Supposedly this all dates back to when Rock was about 13. Michaels was working for his father and acted like a dick, and Rock vowed never to forget it, to the point that a 13-year old Rock wanted to Fight HBK.
Your News: Edge's WWE Title run continues to result in high ratings for RAW. RAW did a 4.5 rating on Monday, its highest number since the Homecoming show when WWE re-debuted on USA Network. The show did hours of 4.5 and 4.5 and indicates a lot of interest in RAW going into the Royal Rumble PPV on Sunday.
My Views: You can read more about the ratings in the "My Take On" That is also up right now, all I am saying is that taking the title off of Edge already, pretty fucking stupid.
Your News: The current plan is for the winner of the Rumble to NOT be in one of the main event title matches at WrestleMania.
My Views: And the E would be STUPID to do this, because they would only piss off their fan base by NOT DELIVERING on a long standing stipulation. I will discuss this at length on Friday in the 3R's, but this was just another way to mooch off of the Death of Eddie. It looks like Cena vs. HHH, Orton will presumably beat Rey at No Way Out for the title shot against Angle and Rey will probably face Chavo in an Eddie tribute match so that they can milk that more.
…Intermission…
…AND I'M BAAAAAAACK!…
TNA stories, scuttlebutt and rumors:
Your News: -The 01.24.06 edition of Impact scored a 0.9 rating, with 1,032,000 viewers.
-TNA Impact on Monday night did a 0.6 rating this week.
My Views: Still steady. I really want to see what Sting's appearance did ratings wise.
Your News: TNA will be releasing many new DVDs later this year including a Knockouts DVD featuring the women of TNA, a Best of Samoa Joe DVD, and a Bloodiest Brawls DVD.
My Views: Cook has already preordered the Knockouts DVD and a new set of towels. The first Bloodiest Brawls wasn't really that good, but this one could be pretty good. The Joe DVD should rule, I just hope that they put it off a little bit to get some more matches with him.
Your News: The World X Cup will return in May.
My Views: ROCK MY FACE! That's bananas! I love the X Cup series, and with the roster they have team TNA should rule. I am interested to see who they bring in.
Your News: SpikeTV has announced their schedule for March and it does not feature any TNA specials. A SpikeTV source claims though that negotiations are always ongoing and a special could easily be added to Spike's March schedule.
My Views: Let's hope that they get another one soon, because the first 2-hour one ruled.
Your News: The word going around is that the TNA Final Resolution PPV delivered the highest buyrate in TNA history. The show was headlined by Sting & Christian Cage vs. Jeff Jarrett & Monty Brown.
My Views: I will be interested to see exactly how much higher it is. They need a real big boost and soon I think, and they need to keep it going.
Everything else that needs covering:
Your News:Samoa Joe has been forced to cancel this weekend due to a severe staph infection. We are very fortunate in that we have secured Low Ki as his replacement. We'll have word on the new matches for this weekend by tomorrow morning.
Samoa Joe wants to send his apologies to all the ROH fans. It is unsafe for him and the entire roster to wrestle with a severe staph infection. This could lead to the entire roster getting staph infections since it can be spread on the canvas.
Joe then released his own statement - "Just to let everyone know what is going on. After my last show in Detroit I noticed a small cut underneath my right arm right near the armpit. It was a little red and irritated so I cleaned it and paid it no mind. Over the next few days it had swollen (to about the size of a large marble) and I decided to head to the doctor right away.
As I suspected the doctor diagnosed it as a pretty severe Staph infection and I am now on antibiotics. Next week I will be looking into getting it drained. If anything my non-participation this weekend is not only for my safety but the safety of my co-workers in ROH. The last thing anyone needs is a epidemic and for something like this to spread.
A note to Indy promoters out there.
WASH your CANVASES!!!
I am surprised I have actually gone this long unaffected. It takes nothing more than some diluted bleach and a hand towel, then wipe down to prevent this type of stuff from afflicting your wrestlers.
I apologize to the fans of the Midwest this weekend and I promise I will do my best to make it up to you all next time ROH swings through the Midwest.
My special thanks to Gabe Sapolsky and the Ring of Honor office for being VERY understanding. Regardless Low Ki has been added to the shows so rest assured I should not be missed too much."
My Views: That really sucks for Joe. It is a shame that people do not take care of these guys with better and cleaner rings and locker room areas. Joe is exactly right that people need to take care of this stuff, because it is a very dangerous thing. I am also glad that Joe was smart enough to pull off of these shows to protect his fellow wrestlers. That is a sense of responsibility that alludes a lot of guys these days. Also, big ups to ROH for getting this information out to it's fans early and doing their best to fill Joe's spot for the shows. Good work, and also good news fans, the Joe vs. Daniels matches have been rebooked for the HUGE Triple Shot Weekend during WrestleMania. Good work ROH.
Your News: - The Brock Lesnar vs. WWE hearing scheduled for today in Hartford, CT has been pushed back to Friday at 10AM. The two sides were to argue their positions today. Brock Lesnar could become free to go to any promotion including TNA if he wins this case.
Today's hearing in the Brock Lesnar vs. WWE case has been postponed until 2/8 at the request of WWE's legal team.
My Views: The E got their extension, and they needed it as it seemed that the Judge was about ready to rule in favor of Brock. It will be so interesting to see what happens with this. If Brock wins, it will not only be another chink in the WWE Legal armor, but could make things very interesting of he would want to go to TNA.
Your News: The MTV-Big Vision Entertainment wrestling pilot that will be taped on 2/9 will be 30 minutes long and feature a crowd of 300 fans.
Sean Waltman, Teddy Hart, Jack Evans, New Jack, Vampiro, PJ Polaco, Matt Sydal, and Lizzy Valentine (formerly Valentina) are all scheduled to appear on the pilot.
My Views: I am still interested, New Jack on my TV could be INSANE!
Your News: Vampiro, Tully Blanchard, and Brad, Bob, & Scott Armstrong have all been added to the 3/5 World Wrestling Legends PPV taping at Hard Rock Live in Orlando, FL. They join Bobby Heenan, Jimmy Snuka, Bruno Sammartino, Jake Roberts, Diamond Dallas Page, Hacksaw Duggan, Rick Steiner, The Iron Sheik, Nikolai Volkoff, Lance Russell, Jim Cornette, The Midnight Express, Buff Bagwell, Kamala, Koko B. Ware, and Mike Graham.
My Views: If anything they seem to have some interesting personalities on board. Vampiro is a crazy bastard, Tully rocks the world, The Armstrong Curse will be in the house, Heenan is gold, Sammartino will be cool just to see what he says, Sheik better get mic time, Cornette rules, The Midnights rule and Buff Bagwell can got to hell and die for all I care. Damn, good thing I have communion this Sunday, I am going to need some religion after all of this venting this week.
Reader Rant Time on…SAMOA JOE!:
From Scott who has a very interesting take:
Hello, and let me say how much I enjoy your articles. I've been reading your last News/Views column, and I have been laughing my ass off. I don't know if this is appropriate to say on the 'net, but I'm actually a fan of wrestling, not just a promotion. I enjoy TNA/ROH/WWE/ECW/PWG/ and NOAH, as well as other promotions that I get to see.
This whole "Joe Sucks!" thing is so damn funny. Being 37, the only thing I can relate this to is "Brody Sucks! If he's so damn good, then why hasn't he won a belt?" I know that arguments are essential to the wrestling fan, but damn! As an old guy, let me say this: Samoa Joe is more believable than Taz. I am a huge Taz fan. Hell, Taz is even part of my screen name! Joe is bigger, faster, and more agile. A.J. is the most complete wrestler in North America bar NONE. Daniels is Benoit that no one sees. My favorite promotion of all time is ECW, and the stars of TNA are better, pound for pound. Forget Jarrett, The James Gang , and that lot, there is more talent in TNA right now than ECW ever had. And yes, that includes Benoit,
Malenko, Rey, Crazy, Raven, Sandman/Foley, Dreamer, Taz, Sabu, RVD, and all others during 'Dubs glory days. Except the Eliminators. They kicked ass.
Keep up the good work, and don't let this stupid stuff wear on you. TNA is the better organization going right now, even if they are having growing pains. Joe does suck, and Vader was nothing but a fat guy who could out work anyone he was in the ring with. Oh yeah, Misawa doesn't sell enough either.
Hey Larry, I write a column over on 411 music but had to throw my 2 cents in over here after I read what your reader Joe Bistone said about TNA and Samoa Joe in particular. You defended your opinions really well, and it's obvious that the guy won't listen to reason because he just plain doesn't like Joe or TNA, so instead of ranting and raving I thought I'd share a story with you. Before I begin I will say I'm a huge Samoa Joe and TNA fan but I'll try and tell this with as little bias as possible. I've never had the pleasure of watching TNA live because I live in England, but a few weeks ago I went to watch an independent company over here called 1PW run a show in conjunction with TNA and ROH. It was a talent exchange sort of thing, so the likes of AJ, Daniels, Joe, Low Ki, Corino, Abyss and Jarrett appeared. Now I've been to many WWE/F shows in the past. I've been at house shows, I was at the first Raw to come live from the UK and one of the guys with me goes to every Raw, Smackdown and house show they put on, and we both agreed that this show was the best we've ever seen. The matches were great for one, but the thing that sold us was the atmosphere. The place was a 1,200 sellout, and the fans didn't keep quiet for one second. Bear in mind; 5 of the 8 matches scheduled featured TNA guys, those being the last five matches on the card. Now tell me: If nobody wants to watch TNA or Samoa Joe how the hell did they managed to sell 1,200 tickets (where ringside seats were £80/$140) for a show featuring mainly TNA wrestlers in a country where the TNA Impact show is 4 weeks behind the US?
Mr. Bistone also claimed that the TNA fans over hype Joe and TNA with their chanting (clearly he's never seen Joe in ROH) , but the fans at this show were just as vocal if not more. An example: Samoa Joe was scheduled to take on Masato Tanaka at the show. Joe came out and got an enormous pop; the second biggest of the night (I'll get to the biggest in a sec) on a show that featured quite a few former WWE (ie. more well-known) guys. The fans chanted for him all the way through the match, but it ended fairly quickly (after about 5 mins) with a screwy countout win for Joe. The fans were seriously pissed, but the promoters tried to make up for it by having the two continue to fight when the match was over, then get separated by trainers etc. etc. Corino then came out and attacked Tanaka, before Tanaka challenged him to and ECW-style match. Now, if this match had replaced any other one on the card then it would probably have satisfied the fans; Corino and Tanaka were both very over and a hardcore match with Abyss and Sabu earlier in the evening had gotten a great reaction. Not this time, however; the fans chanted "We Want Joe" all the way through the match. The reaction was completely genuine; not out of any disrespect to the guys in the ring but the fans wanted to see Samoa Joe (I think it may have been only either his first or second appearance in this country) and chanted for him constantly for a legit 10 to 15 minutes as the replacement match continued. As I said, that's a pretty genuinely reaction for a guy nobody cares about. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Jarrett headlined and they blew the roof off (this was actually taped for Impact so you'll see at least some of it on TV soon). The fans chanted "TNA" even though it wasn't their show, and then after AJ's music had finished playing when he came to the ring, 90% of the fans continued to sing his theme song over and over. I've never, ever seen anything like that (granted it's not the most difficult song for a crowd to sing along to, lyrically). Pardon my language, but it was fucking awesome. I would have loved Joe Bistone to have been there so he could see what sort of reaction he'd get from those fans to his comments that nobody cares about TNA or guys like AJ Styles and Samoa Joe. Preferably from the ones who'd just dropped $140 to specifically see those guys
Damn, Joe really sucks. I have one person comparing him to BRODY, which is a pretty cool one in terms of brutality. Funny thing is that I bet all of the dipshits would bury Brody today, and I'd laugh. And Stephen's story is awesome, yeah, NO ONE wants to pay for TNA and see Joe and these guys. Make sure you check out Stephen's writings as well, I liked him up there.
Thanks for the emails!
Pimpin ain't easy…because no one wants to return the pimp, ya fuckers!
