News From Cook's Corner 02.02.06
Posted by Steve Cook on 02.02.2006
ROH comes to Dayton, I buy PWI, and TNA caters to my whims! Well, some of them anyway...
There's actually a lot of news going on this week, but that's not why this column is so long. We've got ROH from Dayton live coverage and my thoughts on the Pro Wrestling Illustrated year-end awards. It's my biggest Thursday effort yet, and I hope you enjoy.
Oh, and hopefully you all appreciate Nigel McGuinness's new t-shirt as much as I do, otherwise I've wasted my time using that picture and stretching out this column.
Opening Thoughts
Allow me to begin by straightening some of my fellow IWC writers out…Finlay is using Nova's old Kryptonite Krunch as his finisher. Samoa Joe uses the Muscle Buster. They aren't the same move.
I know, you're thinking "Well, duh!"…just take my word for it that some old fogeys can't tell these moves apart. That's why they languish in obscurity while I revel in my mediocrity on a big stage. Ain't it grand?
So does Undertaker have it in his contract that if he doesn't wrestle on one of the big four PPVs, he gets to walk out at the end and ruin the whole show? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but I guess Rey Mysterio isn't big enough to close a show on his own. Never mind the fact that he sells tons of merchandise and consistently gets bigger pops than most people on Smackdown, let's just remember that he's short and probably wouldn't even win a real fight against me.
Actually, I take that back because the little dude's way more jacked up than he was in WCW. He'd kick my ass.
From the "Did Randle actually just say that?" file…
I'm going to catch flak for this from certain people, but what the hell. Joe maybe can work a match really, really, well, but he's not all that appealing to look at. Not in a Brokeback Mountain sort of way, more of a...oh hell, I'll just say it. He's an ugly half-sized Samoan guy. I realize that's his thing, but man...he ugly.
Now I'll say something that I'm sure will catch flack from certain people…dudes don't judge dudes. Besides, ugly wrestlers have been around since the time of Bull Curry, and they've usually made pretty good money for promoters. If anything, Joe not meeting up to Randle's expectations of what a good looking man should be helps him.
Some people think I cut TNA a little too much slack sometimes. If I do, it's only because they listen to me when I issue complaints about their product. Like last week, when I was complaining about the lack of new Traci pictures to use for the column. The very next day, they posted all sorts of new Knockout pictures up on the site.
The lengths I go to in order to keep you people satisfied…
WWE news
The Palm Beach Post reported yesterday that a booth attendant at a Boca Raton tanning salon told cops that she was groped by a man she identified as WWE owner Vincent Kennedy McMahon on Sunday night. A source who saw the report claimed "The alleged victim says Mr. McMahon first showed pictures of himself naked on his cell phone…Then she says he made unwelcome advances and finally cornered her in a tanning booth and groped her." McMahon could not be reached for comment, but wife Linda called the allegations "totally bizarre". Apparently, they were totally bizarre. Boca Raton is 47 miles from Miami, where the Royal Rumble was being held that night. So unless Vince got in his car right after the show and drove straight to the tanning salon, this story might be a load of BS. Add in the fact that the tanning salon wasn't open that day, and you've got a looney woman who thinks Vince McMahon is groping her on your hands.
There are plenty of other things to make fun of Vince McMahon for, like this:
Good thing Vince isn't getting drug tested.
A friend of Orlando Jordan's with no wrestling experience is being hired to play the male love interest of everybody's favorite bi-sexual. Wouldn't you be a little concerned if one of your friends of the same sex wanted to play your love interest on television? I know I would be.
Goldust signed a WWE deal Monday and is back on the full-time roster. I'm sure nobody saw that coming when Duthy joined the creative team…it's absolutely shocking to me. Shocking, I say.
Also recently signed by WWE was Super Porky. Because…I got nothing. You know, there are only so many jokes you can make about a short, fat Mexican who eats a lot of food and slobbers all over himself like a drunken goof.
The big discussion of the week regarding WWE has been over the use of Eddie Guerrero in storylines after his death. It was one thing for Chavo Guerrero and Rey Mysterio to dedicate performances to him, but recently things have been getting out of hand, with Triple H referencing him in promos against Rey, and Randy Orton saying something on Smackdown this week that would get most 12 year olds sharing his same level of intelligence grounded.
You know, I'm not against keeping the memory of Eddie Guerrero alive. But there are more tasteful ways to do it than the way WWE is trying to do. I don't think WWE is trying to desecrate Eddie on purpose, and they probably think they're doing what he would want them to do. I don't know who wants people to be insulting them after they're dead, but wrestling is a very strange thing sometimes.
The best thing to do would be for Rey or Chavo dedicate their match to Eddie either before or after, and let that be that. There's no reason to involve him in feuds, other than they can't come up with a more compelling reason for Randy Orton to hate Rey Mysterio. And quite frankly, that's sad.
TNA news
Is TNA moving to prime time? Signs seem to be pointing to yes, the only question seems to be whether it will be Thursday night at 8 or Monday night at 8. Spike is interested in putting TNA in front of UFC on Thursday nights, but TNA would like to be on Monday nights, which has been a traditional wrestling watching night for well over a decade. A Thursday night slot could possibly result in a 90 minute Impact, which would help TNA use its large roster better.
I would be totally down with a Thursday Night Impact, as long as it doesn't affect my viewing of The Office on NBC. A 90 minute show starting at 8 would be perfect, because I could watch Impact and then The Office would be on right after that. Yes, I am in full support of the Thursday night idea. Monday at 8 might work, but if it's 90 minutes the final half hour could be going against 24 on Fox. I would not be down with that. So I implore Spike TV to air TNA Thursday nights at 8:00. It works best for me, so it should work best for everybody.
That's what one of my professors says about everything. It's a pretty good policy, as long as you're the one keeping it. Anyway, the odds are that more news on Impact's future time slot will be available after my deadline, so check our newswire for the latest details on that.
Online fans voted for Team 3D to take on Team Canada at Against All Odds. So let me get this straight…people actually voted for the team that WASN'T the tag team champions? You guys must not want BRD and Devon to get those belts.
In good news, Samoa Joe was in action at the Impact tapings Tuesday night. You could have seen him Tuesday night on the Comedy Central show "Distraction" along with former TNA/WWE worker Kazarian and Curry Man, a Japanese wrestler who appeared on an ROH show once but doesn't work in the U.S. very often. Joe beat up a woman but didn't choke her out. I was a little disappointed by that.
Glen "Disco Inferno" Gilberti and Tom Prichard were backstage at the Impact taping working as agents. Prichard was a fine worker who had a hand in training a lot of the guys who debuted on WWE television during his time with that company, and knows a lot about his craft. Disco Inferno has nice hair.
Chris Sabin sprained his ankle at the Impact taping. This is what happens when you make him carry Sonjay Dutt. I kid Sonjay Dutt, I actually like him, but one of my friends really dislikes him for some reason. I don't know if Sonjay shot his dog or what, but he just doesn't like the Original Playa from the Himalaya.
Other wrestling news
A company called XFC is holding its first training seminar to take place at the ECW Arena on Sunday, March 19 from 2pm to 5pm hosted by none other than Teddy Hart. What could Teddy Hart possibly teach anybody other than how to piss off everybody in the wrestling business? On second thought, that might actually be an interesting seminar. Sign me up!
I think that's all in the other section this week. There might be more, but do you really care about Hulk Hogan's new house? I don't, so it ain't here. HA!
I didn't watch enough of the televised wrestling this week to tell you who owned it. Instead, let's see what happened last Friday night at the Ring of Honor show in Dayton!
ROH Trios Tournament 2006 Thoughts
There were 3 "dark" matches featuring trainees and local guys. I don't remember a whole lot about any of them. Before the show started we saw Christopher Daniels and Low Ki at the gimmick table selling their stuff. I didn't talk to either of them for the same reason I usually don't talk to the wrestlers….they're the talent and I don't need to be bothering them unless they're performing. Then I can cuss them out and it's all good. That, and I'm a rather shy person, so talking to people I look up to from their appearances on TV is kinda awkward.
Trios Tournament 1st Round: Jack Evans, Jimmy Yang & Matt Sydal Def. Adam Pearce, BJ Whitmer & Jimmy Jacobs
I love spotfests. When you have Evans, Yang, and Sydal on a team, it's pretty much a given that you're going to see a bunch of crazy spots, and that's what this was. Yang was very impressive, but Evans really stood out to me on this show more than the previous shows. Probably because he's a crazy bastard who does more flips before landing on somebody than should be humanly possible. The Whitmer/Jacobs team broke up the next night, which is a shame because they grew on me. Adam Pearce didn't do a whole lot, so I can't tell you whether he's good or bad.
Trios Tournament 1st Round: Abyss, Alex Shelley & Jimmy Rave Def. Jay Fury, Sal Rinauro & Tony Mamaluke
Abyss didn't get to do a whole lot during this match, leaving it to Shelley to make the Embassy look effective. Cause Lord knows Rave wasn't going to do that. Fury was replacing Milano Collection AT, who is certainly not tired of Gabe's shit. Right, Ari? ;) Fury had a couple good moves, but could benefit from wearing a t-shirt. Rinauro and Mamaluke were there. This match was there…nothing very memorable.
Claudio Castagnoli Def. Chad Collyer
This match was headed down the same road. Collyer no longer had his mohawk, so he was no longer all that interesting. Claudio was ok…I liked his match with Colt Cabana on the Joe vs. Kobashi DVD better though. The highlight of this match, however, was the appearance of Chris Hero and Necro Butcher in the crowd. Hero tried to start a "Boring" chant, but was told to shut up by the fans. I didn't get the hate because chanting "Boring" during a Chad Collyer match isn't exactly revolutionary. Claudio eventually won after Ace Steel kept Collyer from using a chair. Steel yelled at the CZW guys and then had a match. Goody?
Ace Steel wrestled to a No Contest with Sterling James Keenan
No contests don't usually go over well in ROH, but nobody minded this one because it involved Hero and Butcher crossing over the barricade and trying to get in the ring. They were stopped and taken out of the building by about twenty ROH guys, but not before creating quite a scene and riling up the crowd. The angle really went as well as it possibly could have. You know ROH takes the threat that Hero and Butcher pose seriously when almost everybody in the locker room rushes out to take care of them.
Then it was time for the intermission! I got a Nigel McGuinness shirt that owns everything.
See what I mean? Later on I got the Joe vs. Kobashi DVD so my friend could capitalize off the "buy 3 get 1 free" sale. He got the 3 Dayton shows we had already been to, so maybe I'll finally get to see my pretty face on the TV.
Back to the wrestling!
Nigel McGuinness Def. Delirious
It was a little short for my liking, but since these are two of my favorite indy wrestlers, I'm not going to complain too much. Nigel works that European style that people either love or hate…I happen to love it, but it does lend itself well to working heel. Delirious is the man, and he still doesn't get the respect from ROH that he deserves. The fans love him, that much is for sure.
Low Ki Def. Christopher Daniels
Low Ki doesn't job very much, and Daniels almost never wins in ROH, so the result here probably should have been obvious. The match was pretty exciting, but the highlight took place afterwards, where Low Ki refused to shake Daniels' hand. Daniels refused to shake hands during his first run with ROH, but now he is a changed man and respects the company and what it stands for. Low Ki has also changed since then, but in the opposite way. I didn't much care for the ending, which was pretty much the same ending of the Daniels/Styles/Joe Unbreakable match.
Trios Tournament Finals: Abyss, Alex Shelley & Jimmy Rave Def. Jack Evans, Jimmy Yang & Matt Sydal
Rave won the match with the Worst Pedigree Ever. Ants were complaining because they couldn't crawl under Rave's feet during it. Other than that, the match was pretty good, and now that the Embassy gets 3 matches of their choice, business should pick up.
ROH Tag Team Champions Austin Aries & Roderick Strong retained against Bryan Danielson & Jay Lethal
I thought this was an interesting choice for the main event, but it lived up to its spot on the card. Jay Lethal hadn't impressed me in his match with Low Ki at Redemption, but teaming with the ROH World Champion seemed to bring out the best in him. Strong got the win over Danielson, making him tap out to the Stronghold and establishing himself as deserving another shot at the ROH World Title. I wonder if he can wait until the next Dayton show…after the match, the Embassy ran down and attacked Danielson. Generation Next saved Danielson, and then Strong cut a promo punking out Danielson and telling him that they wouldn't be around to save him next time. Good stuff.
All in all, it was a pretty solid show. I wouldn't rate it as highly as Redemption, but it was on par with the other Dayton shows I've been to. There were a couple lackluster matches, but those were saved by a good storyline with cool people. And best of all, the building wasn't very hot at all. I'll save that complaint for the summer.
This Week in Wrestling History
February 3, 2000 – Vince McMahon announced the formation of the XFL.
February 3, 2001 – The XFL began play and scored a 10.3 rating on NBC.
These were the two greatest highlights during the one season of the X Football League. Believe it or not, there were other ones. From the 2nd Home Office in Louisville, Kentucky…
Top 10 XFL Highlights
10. Jim Ross complaining on Raw about how the XFL got no coverage from the sports media even though it was fourth-rate football
9. The good game always being the one NBC wasn't showing
8. Vince cutting a promo on the field before the first game in Las Vegas
7. Mike Adamle getting work in sports again after American Gladiators (where was Larry Csonka, though?)
6. The guy who separated his shoulder on the first opening scramble
5. Lorne Michaels getting pissed by an XFL game going 3 overtimes and pushing Saturday Night Live back an hour, and forcing NBC to tell the XFL to make their games shorter
4. Jim Ross being promoted to lead announcer because Matt Vagscersian or whatever his name was sucked ass
3. Jesse Ventura trying to feud with New York/New Jersey coach Rusty Tillman, who was having none of it
2. Tommy Maddox actually playing well against jabronis
1. Three words: He Hate Me
The ultimate impact of the XFL on Titan Sports can only be seen as negative. It was a colossal waste of money, Vince McMahon proved that he can't make a product outside of wrestling that can hold the public's interest for more than a week, and the company's focus on that took away from the WWF product, which fell off from its mainstream popular status during this time.
Sforcina continues his look at the history of the X Division title.
Meehan creeps me out with a Boogeyman body building picture. Eating worms ain't diddly squat compared to that atrocity.
I've decided that Domingo and Clark are going to have to fight over a plug each week. Domingo gets it this week because Clark starts out with Steeler love, something that I have absolutely no time for.
At least we only have to put up with it from Gamble every couple of weeks.
Ari is sick of your shit, and Gabe Sapolsky is perfect in every way. As long as you realize that, you're ok in his book.
JP & JT are sharing a plug due to budget cutbacks. Sorry guys!
Back in the days before the Internet, hardcore wrestling fans got their wrestling news from magazines and newsletters. The most prominent of these magazines was Pro Wrestling Illustrated, one of the many "Apter mags" that covered every wrestling promotion under the sun. It was a revelation to fans that were only exposed to one or two promotions and didn't know that there was other stuff going on in other areas of the country. Especially during the territorial era, wrestling magazines were the only way to get the latest wrestling news, usually with a kayfabe perspective that didn't expose the business.
My big magazine phase was from about 1993-2000. I've got countless numbers of magazines from that time period, but at some point I cut back on my purchasing. Once magazines started getting really too expensive, I only got the ones that seemed cool. With PWI, their two big issues are the PWI 500 and the Year-End Awards. I get those just about every year, and purchased the Year-End issue a couple days ago.
The first thing I noticed was a 411mania.com mention on the front page. Damn, I knew we were good, but I didn't know we were that good. Now that I know that PWI gets its scoops from us, I almost hate the fact that I have to tear apart some of their award winners. So let's just go ahead and get this over with…it's my take-
Larry: NO! Only I can rip off Jim Rome and get away with it!
JP: And quit ripping me off by having other people speak in your column!
OK! Jeez. Anyway, here's Cook's look at the 2005 PWI Year-End Awards.
Rookie of the Year:
Winner: Bobby Lashley (36%)
1st runner-up: Christy Hemme (19%)
2nd runner-up: Mikey Batts (10%)
3rd runner-up: Ken Doane (8%)
It was a tough year for rookies, as I discovered when I was voting for Newcomer of the Year in the 411 awards. Ken Kennedy was my vote there, but since he's not a rookie, he wasn't eligible for this. Lashley was my 2nd place guy, and the marks love him, so I'm not too surprised by this. Hemme does surprise me a little, and if Ken Doane can overcome the Spirit Squad gimmick and make something of himself, this result will be laughed at by kids reading the PWI Almanac years from now.
Inspirational Wrestler of the Year:
Winner: Chris Candido (26%)
1st runner-up: Matt Hardy (18%)
2nd runner-up: Steve Williams (13%)
3rd runner-up: Rey Mysterio (8%)
Candido was on track to be the Comeback Wrestler of the Year before his untimely death in April. He came back from drug abuse to reach a point where he could solidly perform again, and he was also one of the top guys for giving advice to youngsters. Williams came back from throat cancer to wrestle at a Wrestle Reunion show. I can't imagine what exactly Matt Hardy did to get a spot on this list. Maybe it's inspiring that crying on the internet can get you your job back. I don't know.
Most Improved Wrestler of the Year:
Winner: Batista (34%)
1st runner-up: Carlito (20%)
2nd runner-up: Monty Brown (17%)
3rd runner-up: Chris Masters (12%)
I guess anything would have been an improvement from how Masters made his debut. Batista was good, but I didn't think he was that much better than he was in 2004…he was just given more of an opportunity in 2005. Carlito was pretty crappy in the ring for most of 2005. Monty improved a bit, but his spot in TNA actually diminished, so it's tough for me to consider him for this award. Who would I consider? Muhammad Hassan was improving before he got fired.
Comeback of the Year:
Winner: Road Warrior Animal (27%)
1st runner-up: Matt Hardy (20%)
2nd runner-up: Raven (15%)
3rd runner-up: Hulk Hogan (13%)
OK, now this is just utterly stupid. Animal sucks ass in the ring, and his title run with Heidenreich can be summed up as "the shits". Hardy had a nice comeback for about a week before Edge squashed him at Summerslam, and outside a cage match at Unforgiven, he's done jack shit since. Raven could be considered for this since he went from wrestling Erik Watts to being NWA World Champion. Hulk…you gotta be kidding me. Who would my winner be? James Gibson, who went from doing nothing in WWE and getting fired to having kickass matches on a regular basis in ROH and other independent promotions. So good, in fact, that WWE rehired him so he could do nothing on their watch again.
No surprise with the winner here. Apparently the marks love Christy, which makes you wonder if WWE firing her was a mistake. There are two big problems with this list though…no Traci, and one of the readers described Trish as an "American classic". Huh? She's Canadian, numbnuts.
Feud of the Year:
Winner: Matt Hardy vs. Edge & Lita (28%)
1st runner-up: AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels (18%)
2nd runner-up: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio (17%)
3rd runner-up: Batista vs. Triple H (14%)
Matt Hardy & Christy Hemme must have paid off the PWI editors something fierce. You can make good arguments for the three runners-up, but in my opinion, the feud of the year was C.M. Punk vs. Ring of Honor. A good storyline that nobody saw coming and helped grow interest in watching the shows. Hardy vs. Edge did that for about a week before WWE started making it lame.
Most Popular Wrestler of the Year:
Winner: John Cena (40%)
1st runner-up: Batista (32%)
2nd runner-up: AJ Styles (14%)
3rd runner-up: Rey Mysterio (7%)
OK, I'm a Cena fan, but you've gotta be shitting me. Obviously the kids that cheer for Cena are more likely to buy these magazines than Batista fans are, and that's probably how he won this award. I would say that Batista was definitely more popular than Cena for the duration of 2005 though. Mysterio might take this award in 2006 if WWE doesn't fuck up his push…which they probably will.
Most Hated Wrestler of the Year:
Winner: Triple H (37%)
1st runner-up: Edge (28%)
2nd runner-up: Jeff Jarrett (12%)
3rd runner-up: Muhammad Hassan (8%)
I didn't think the HHHate was as strong as it used to be, and it really isn't. People like Triple H, but nobody likes Jeff Jarrett. That's why Jarrett should have been the winner here. Edge could also be considered because he's so much of a douchebag that people even boo him against Cena. And that's a good thing.
I disagree. For I watched Joe vs. Kobashi last weekend, and that surpassed anything seen here. Though these matches have their good qualities, Joe vs. Kobashi surpasses them all in drama, stiffness, asskicking, and flat out wrestling. So there.
Tag Team of the Year
Winner: MNM (31%)
1st runner-up: The Naturals (22%)
2nd runner-up: LOD 2005 (17%)
3rd runner-up: America's Most Wanted (14%)
MNM is acceptable for the most part. Ranking LOD 2005 ahead of AMW is just plain blasphemy. AMW was my pick for Tag Team of the Year because they held the NWA tag team belts for a good portion of the year and played a more prominent role in storylines than any other team. The Naturals are good, but they're not AMW.
Wrestler of the Year:
Winner: Batista (37%)
1st runner-up: John Cena (29%)
2nd runner-up: AJ Styles (10%)
3rd runner-up: Samoa Joe (6%)
This vote wasn't nearly as close as the 411 staff vote, which Randle plans on posting in 2007. Our debate was between Batista and Joe, and my argument was that Batista doesn't compare to Joe in the ring. Batista had a good WWE year though, so he was the obvious choice for people who only watch that promotion. His victory doesn't surprise me here. My fellow staff members will be surprised to see that Ric Flair didn't make the top 4 despite running away with our Wrestler of the Week honors. Oh well.
PWI readers, I'm sure you mean well, but you're just misinformed. I shall make it my mission to keep you guys straight in 2006 so you can make the correct decisions when it comes to these awards. Don't thank me now, I'll accept cash later.
Holy crap, this was a long column. Marsico's here tomorrow and I shall return next week.
