Truth B Told 2.2.06: To Be Continued...
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 02.03.2006
Don't believe the title...this is a one parter...
Literature and history have given us great stories, great tales of heroism and bravery. The characters have been as rich and varied as the imagination. Though as different and as diverse as those characters were, they all lead to the creation and telling of an a great story. The only common denominators in every great story throughout history has been a beginning…a middle…and an end. From "Julius Caesar" to "The Color Purple" to "Joy Luck Club" to "The Bible" each of these stories came from somewhere and led to an inevitable end. But somewhere in the middle was a story, a story with purpose and meaning which held so much of emotion and reason that without it, there would be no need for the story to ever be told. So how…in the BLUE HELL is it that the creative writing staff of the WWE and even TNA can just seem to forget about the middle of a story?
"Continuity" people….continuity. We all know what it is. It's the reason why all of us know that Christian (Cage) and Edge are brothers. It's the reason that we all know that the McMahon family should be in total ruins by now. It's the reason that we know that Prime Time should want to stab AMW with broken beer bottle instead of joining up with them. It's the reason that Abyss and Monty Brown should want nothing to do with Jeff Jarrett. Continuity is a part of life, not just wrestling. How would you feel if you turned on the television one day and saw Monica Lewinsky and Hillary Clinton hosting a special edition of "The View"? Or reading in the newspaper that Mary Kate was seen partying it up with her "friend" Ashley? Or even tuning into a basketball game and seeing Shaq and Kobe hugging at mid-court?? Um… scratch that last one.
For some reason the WWE and TNA have these weird lapses where the creative team catches a short term case of amnesia. They tend to forget storylines and angles from the past and try to fool the audience into thinking that everything that is currently going on is the only real reality that exists. Forget the fact that Edge referred to Christian as his "old friend". Monty Brown was supposed to be the "Alpha Male" and one would think that would entail possessing of a superior intellect, however he seemed to have forgotten how Jeff Jarrett has screwed him over time and time again and now he's part of his posse. Plus, what the hell is up with the McMahon family uniting? Forget all the angles and feuds that this ignores from the past…it puts those damn camera hogs on my screen again.
One of the most glaring blows to continuity was when the Big Show and Rey Misterio shared a few moments during the Royal Rumble to remember Eddie Guerrero. Uh…HELLOOOOO?? Wasn't this the same big show that has destroyed Rey several times during tag matches and even managed to spit on Eddie's low rider? What business do they have of being friends? The WWE has done some weird things with "Kayfabe" that keep weaving in and out due to their insistence on using Eddie Guerrero in storylines. I for one am against using his name and constantly bringing him up in a way to give a "rub" to guys like Chavo and Rey, or to get cheap heat for guys like HHH or Orton.
WWE has no problem bringing up ECW or WCW history, but far be it to mention RoH or TNA in regards to the history of their workers. Would it kill them to push Jamie Noble as a former RoH champ and play up his revitalization in the Indies before his return? Then again, it's not like they have big plans for the cruisers anyways. I think they do this more for their own self preservation and hoping that fans who aren't aware of other promotions won't go looking for them.
TNA has done a good job of playing up the past histories of their wrestlers in the X-Division, but haven't named those promotions yet. They have been able to connect the dots with Austin Aries and Roderick Strong, but more or less ignored the obvious dilemma of having Alex Shelley in their stable. This makes sense because no matter how hard you try it is impossible to interweave every storyline and feud within all of the Indies and TNA. The James Gang was instantly made a storyline when they came in and the ex-ECW guys have all had some interaction with each other and acknowledgment of their history. However not all is well in Orlando.
Title shots and number one contender ship matches have amounted to nothing. There was a time when being #1 contender really meant something, however title changes have been few and far between and seemingly going to the newest kid on the block. TNA has parseled their title shots around so haphazardly that winning a #1 contenders match is almost insignificant now. When will Abyss get a real program for the strap? What about Monty Brown? It seems that with each new "big acquisition" the old programs seem to die off. Jeff Jarrett's "shoot" comment about having the cornerstones of the company lose their spots to these new comers was almost as face as it was heel.
The Nature Boy has been in feuds with Carlito, Triple H, Edge, and now Shelton Benjamin in the matter of 3 months. That is insane. I'm not even sure that any of those feuds have come to a real conclusion. Why hasn't Ric Flair gone after Triple H since he's been back? Why is it that the Tag Titles have only been defended like twice in the past 2 months? Why is it that someone finally realized that Ric Flair had a title and decided to challenge for it only when his mama came back. I'm really confused why just as the US Title was gaining recognition on Smackdown, RAW totally forgot about the IC strap. The WWE has about 20 too many wrestlers for what they want to do right now because only the big belts are getting any recognition and there are tons of low and mid-card wrestlers just anguishing in their own personal purgatories.
By the way, why does the Undertaker returning automatically make him the #1 contender? Why did Mark Henry beating up Batista and then Kurt Angle make him #1 contender? Even Christian won a match against Monty for the #1 spot in TNA. Heck, RoH even has their little points system and ranking to determine that kind of stuff. Don't you guys remember a time when there were tournaments and matches and such to make that determination in the WWE? I like the fact that they now have a "Power 25" ranking on WWE.com but they really need to start consider using that like back in the day when WCW had their rankings. The "e" does come up with good ideas, but needs to better utilize them for the sake of continuity.
I was going to go off about Vince's lack of "finding a GM" and how that storyline just faded into oblivion after he decided that more air time for him and Shano Mac would be more advantageous but I think that is pretty obvious. Plus, are there any med students or doctors reading TBT? Can somebody tell me how long a broken hand takes to heel? Cuz' according to the creative team, it takes about 4 weeks tops. But only if you are a 7 foot giant apparently. One of the maddening storylines in TNA is the continued dragging out of Raven's "mystery woman". I hope they don't just forget about this, because TNA has a way of just dragging out storylines and angles to the point where they no longer become interesting or anticipated. Something tells me that this "secret" Jackie Gayda has only has another 2 weeks of legs on it before not even Charlie Haas could give a shit.
That's really the end of my rant… for now. Not to crap all over everything wrestling but this thing has been bothering me for months now. I will admit that the WWE does tend to create more compelling angles and storylines than TNA, mostly to make up for some of the lackadaisical and mediocre wrestling we are subjected to each week. It would serve both companies well to start keeping an archive of their angles so trying to keep current on that as not to keep glossing over past storylines just to try to squeeze another month or so of programming out of a feud. Although I gotta give Vince credit, he has managed to parlay a Montreal match so many years ago into one of the longest running "angles" in history. Too bad he has seemed to have exhausted the well and now the creative team is groping for ideas like Vince in a tanning salon….ZING!!
Coming Up Short
The WWE has had a case of these interim #1 contenders and transitional feuds. First it was Hardcore Holly getting a shot at Brock Lesner's belt for a month and now it is Mark Henry getting his 2 week main event push. The latest case is the rumor that Rey Misterio will be losing his Wrestlemania main event slot to Randy Orton. The rumored card has HHH vs John Cena and Kurt Angle vs Randy Orton. Now I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but it seems a BIT more likely that if this is going to happen, that Orton would somehow steal away the title shot at a PPV before Wrestlemania. Oh wait…No Way Out is an event before Wrestlemania. I wonder if Rey is going to get screwed out of his shot so that young Mr. Orton can main event? One can only wonder. Well I've had it. The WWE is just going way over the line here, because if they screw Rey out of his spot then it made no sense for him to go over in the first place. If they wanted to put Orton in the WM spot, why not just do it? This is tantamount to having Abyss lose his title shot to AJ after he had just won it by beating ‘Rainbow Brite'. Why the HELL would Rey even put his shot on the line?? What would he possibly have to gain from that, except maybe an accidental case of hepatitis from Cowboy Bob?? Having Rey win the rumble but not get a title shot is just ridiculous. Its disrespectful and the way that they are interjecting Eddie Guerrero into the storyline and STILL having Rey get screwed out of his shot is repugnant. I hope that this rumor is just that…a rumor, because if it isn't, then the WWE is just coming up short.
…And Knowing is half the Battle
"I am not a transitional champ"…Sure Edge…sure. Well at least Edge has made it into an elite group of men. Former King of the Ring winners who became WWF/E champions after they won. Out of the 16 men who have been crowned "King" only 7 have gone onto superstardom as WWF champions. Stone Cold, Kurt Angle, Edge, Brock Lesner, Randy Savage, Brett Hart (2), and HHH. There were 9 other men who won the KotR but went on to become little more than footnotes in WWF history. Can anyone name those sad, sad, men? By the way, in case you were wondering, each of those men who have won KotR and gone one to be champ have all had multiple title reigns. So cheer up Edge, you may get another shot one day… maybe you can steal Matt Hardy's new girlfriend this time to get over.
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
Well at least Captain Amazo likes me….rackafrackin' readers who don't rackafrackin' write in…
Good column this week. I just wanted to let you know that the Spirit Squad is actually much better then it could have been. I heard that Virgil, Lanny Poffo, Dr. Hiney, Matilda the bulldog, Tyson Tomko, Drew Carey, Savio Vega, Paul Bearer's mustache, and Paul London and Brian Kendrick disguised as Los Conquistadors all tried out. And now that I think about it, how awesome would it be if Shelton's Mamma ran Nick Nemeth over with a golf cart for costing her boy that match six months ago?
Look, the Spirit squad gimmick has about a white girl's chance in Kobe's hotel room of making these guys into stars. The only way this works is if these guys decide that the gimmick is lame and go all rogue on the rest of the roster after getting a "coach" or "mentor" so to speak. Kind of like they did in WCW with the Natural Born Thrillers. While I think Cowboy Bill, Savio Vega and Tomko's goatee would all make fine additions to the squad there are far better choices. My choice for the Spirit Squad would have been: Simon Dean, Papa Shango, the Boogeyman, the hand Mae Young gave birth to, Katie Vick, and … Ken Doane. Just to piss off the OVW recapper guy. Actually 411 has their own "Spirit Squad" which consists of JP, JT, and Meehan, they're basically around just to cheer everyone up, keep things positive, and wear matching leggings.
Gohan6482 is in the PWG-Unit as well.
Whoa whoa whoa, you're in So Cal? And go to PWG? I've been goin' to every show but 1 since Straight to DVD and just noticed the PWG pimping. That's awesome.
PS- Bosh used my friend's Nachos on Ryan's head in the Main Event, haha.
I've been steady pimpin' PWG since Rant Wars. I highly recommend checking out any local indy show you can find because love Indy wrestling is that makes this country great. That and big breasted divas on RAW each week. I swear, Monday night was simply teaming with bodacious breastitudinous boobocity. Trish stratus may not have had the most cleavage but they were by far the shiniest. But I digress. While I do remember the nachos I can actually top you because my friend got to tango with Colt Cabana during his ring entrance on her first show. And my girlfriend brought two hand painted dolls of El Generico and NEMESIS that are sure to be on the dvd release of "Teen Outreach Summit".
Left Overs…
WWE will steal your first name if you let them. Just look at (Fit) Finlay, (Bobby) Lashley, and (Gene) Snitsky, and (Michael) Cole. Which make me wonder…what was Boogeyman's first name before all this? My money is on Lance.
AJ vs Joe vs Daniels II. Who else is happy? I'm going to go ahead and call a surprise ending as we see Shannon Moore interject himself and cost AJ the title, only to be joined by the debuting…wait for it…. Wait for it…. EVAN KARAGIAS… no…keep waiting for it…
Goldust, Tatanka, and Eugene make Royal Rumble appearances….wtf?? Viscera takes out Matt Hardy, but not before he humps his ass. Hacksaw Jim Duggans parlays the most random cameo ever into the moment of the night. Still there is nothing funny about making fun of a woman who is constantly laying down for men and taking it in the most private of areas just because she lacks self esteem. But enough about Hardy.
Jay Lethal…what are they gonna do with ya? My suggestion a tag team with Prime Time and Ron Killings called "Pimpistry of Darkness". C'mon… they could work a few "dark matches" first. No…? No? Damn.
World X Cup is coming back in May. I'm going to sit down and just wait for it. You notice how TNA and New Japan have been working together? I bet ya Team Japan is going to Reign over all. Team TNA will rock, Team Canada will…be there. Bring back Teddy Hart and Jack Evans damn it. Wait, is Jack even Canadian? He was the last time around, but I thought he was from Washington state. Damn, make up your mind already and pick a country. Who do you think you are, A-Rod?
Let Eddie RIP already. Triple H totally mocked Eddie, Orton is going to do it on Smackdown this week, and Chavo and Rey keep using him during their matches as "tributes". Is anyone else waiting for HHH to shoot a promo where he climbs in Eddie's coffin to molest him? Anyone?
PWG this weekend and I have some mixed feelings. The ticket price went up to $20 recently but for this show it was going to be well worth it. Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, Colt Cabana, Chris Sabin, Claudio Castagnoli, Chris Hero, and B-Boy were scheduled to show up. Then B-Boy drops out, followed by Chris Sabin due to injury, and apparently Christopher Daniels is injured too. I wonder if they look at the card, realize they are still going to be getting the same crowd roughly and decide if they should cut the ticket prices because they are now having to pay less in booking fees? Probably not… I wish there was an index for figuring out ticket prices depending on the talent. Cuz' I'm pretty sure they owe me $4.57 for those missing wrestlers.
Do yourself a favor and go check out this thread in the Wrestling Forum Right HERE. click on show all and follow it all the way from random thread to pure insanity.
Caught a $8 show put on by Hybrid Pro WrestlingHybrid. They are publicizing the attendance at about 160. I think they are using the ol' WCW system of accounting on that one. I guess they are rounding up to the nearest 160. I was fairly impressed with it as they had an 8 man tournament for the belt and a Battle Royal that would … not … end. Of note, NEMESIS was there, entertaining as ever. But I also came across a few other wrestlers who impressed me:
Mr. Instant Replay– of the Young Bucks: Athletic, good charisma, and innovative Sexy Sonny Samson: Such an over the top gimmick for a man who looks like a younger version of the dad on "That's so Raven"… um… so I heard. Markus Riot: He looks like a mini Roderick Strong… weird, cuz' with a name like Markus Riot, I expected him to be black. No idea why, just that… well…how many white Riots have you ever seen? Not including half off day at Abercrombie and Fitch.
HHH gives Chavo some offense and they end up with a decent match, RVD looked bad against Snitsky, Masters and Carlito get further buried, but are making an interesting team, and Edge..uh…DQ…uh…WTF? It was like Bizarro RAW this week, I was just waiting for Eugene to show up and quote Shakespeare… yeah right, a retard quoting Shakespeare… as if.
Shelton Benjamin: "I just Beat gold…now I'm ready to wear gold". Why didn't R.Kelly show up at that exact moment??
Prime Time Impact? Thursday nights would be fine with me so long as they get another hour. Somehow anything that doesn't feature Tracy Gold fighting her eating disorder on Lifetime doesn't feel natural going 90 minutes long.
Chuc Mung Nam Moi: to all of the Chinese/Vietnamese wrestlers celebrating Chinese New Year. So that would be… um… uh… ummm…
Rey wins the Rumble by out lasting 29 other men to win the prize. Kind of like how Edge ended up with… ah… you know the joke.
Gregory Helms is YOUR new CW champ. Helms is making a jump to Smackdown to defend himself against some of the most exciting wrestlers that you will never see. Winning the CW title is like winning a contest to see who can go the longest without getting laid. Even if you win, you lose. Oh and by the way, congrats on that Mr. Clark.
I don't get this angle…Mickie is the psycho lesbian who wants to have hot sweaty monkey lovin' with the Women's champ, Trish Stratus…?? Um… proceed WWE…proceed.
Pimpin' In High Places
You're probably saying to yourself, "self", "yes", "I wonder what B reads on 411". Well I like to catch up on as many columns as possible during the week but here are a few I thought deserved a little pimpin'.
Who Knew?? Meehan has been on a chocolate fetish lately. Who am I to judge? But once you start writing about large muscular black men every week… one can only speculate.
X-rated, don't tell your parents you're reading this. Sforcina wraps up his Evo about my favorite title history EVER plus I hear he pimps his first wrestling match, I hear it's a 4 way between a Kangaroo, puro Koala, and Outback Jack.
411's answer to Big Show and Kane. Sometimes I make an appearance, but otherwise I read and wonder what happened to the guy who use to write "The little things" and if he's getting' royalties from these clowns or not.
I can't believe I'm linking him but Cook does give a little preview into the PWI 2005 awards results which makes for an interesting read. And hell, if Cook can get a Thursday time slot, TNA should have noooo problem.
Who wants to make $25 a night? Ryan K Bowman helps you learn how to prepare for a career wearing tights and rolling around with sweaty men named "Durango Kid" and "Franky Fingerzzz"…anyone ever wonder why this fool get to use his Middle Initial? I dunno, I just started working here two months ago…sheeeesh. I assume the "K" stands for "Karnage"… or "Kangaroo"… wonder if that means he's wrestling Sforcina this weekend. If so… he's dead.
Hey looky here it's ME on Sports Fact or Fiction. I think I got robbed however. Hell, at least I knew who Dale Earnhardt Jr was, I wonder if Jeff Gordon will start cutting promos on his dead father to get cheap heel heat.
I'm going to predict it now and I'm 75% sure I'll be gettin' a total shit storm for it later but… Seahawks win the Super Bowl by a field goal. Will it happen? Sure… I mean, it could. Well, they do have a chance right? Damn it. The Super Bowl reminds me of a Jeff Jarrett title match… and the Steelers are JJ. You know they could lose at any time, but chances are the won't. This time however the Seahawks appear to be Kenny King. The only chance the ‘Hawks have of winning is if somehow the Undertaker appears and collapses the Steeler's offensive line with lightening. What? It could happen.
