MeeThinks 2.07.06: The Post Rumble Grumble (page II of II)

Posted by John Meehan on 02.07.2006

Ya know, there's just no pleasing some people...

Issue V: The WWE Title Match
"John Cena's entrance was ridiculously over-the-top, and it reeked of ‘please cheer for me.'"

Badd Blasters and all, the 2001: A Wrestling Odyssey entrance ramp was definitely a sight to behold. But even if it did smack of desperation on behalf of the ‘E to stop arena fans from booing their golden boy in John Cena – you know what? It got the job done, and it made for an incredible visual for those fans fortunate enough to see the thing live.

Shawn Michael's little skyline right before his Iron Man match against Bret Hart at WrestleMania XII was another one of those situations where the ‘E knew they'd be putting the belt back on a star that was receiving "mixed" audience reaction, so they totally pulled out all of the stops to help get the guy over in one last pre-match push.

Sting's "trademark" descents into the ring to square off against Hulk Hogan were done for much the same reason, ya know… because while Sting was popular enough in his own right, there were more than a number of fans out there who were NUTS over his opponent – so every little bit certainly didn't hurt the Stinger's case.

Long story short -

Manipulating fan reactions is what savvy promoters do. They *want* us to cheer for the guys they're billing as faces, and they've been helping us doing it for decades, folks. If we're so "in the know" as to say that this kind of stuff "is an insult to our intelligence" – kindly do try to keep in mind that we're watching a fake wrestling match, eh? Suspension of disbelief comes with the territory – and since the bookers maintain the right to tell the stories as they see fit, they have every right to attempt to sway the crowd's approval accordingly so that they don't have to continually play catch-up to a fickle and ever-changing array of audience emotions.

"Cena SO shouldn't have won the belt back from Edge. Ratings were great with Edge as champ and Cena was still getting mixed reactions – why kill the positive momentum?"

While it's too soon to tell what long term effects Cena's title victory will have on the overall trend of the RAW ratings, the short term fact of the matter is that this week's post Rumble RAW boasted a 4.5 – which is exactly the same as last week when Edge was the champ and Cena was giving chase.

Now then -

IF (and it's a big"if") ratings were only up because Edge was the champ, then it pretty well stands to reason that those same ratings would be right back in the proverbial crapper the very next night. BUT – looking at the hard facts, that's simply not the case here. Cena's first night as champ (one more) drew the same rating as his title hunt did. So maybe – just maybe – that little shakeup was all the guy needed to win back that lagging fan support.

Is it a permanent fix? Probably not… but it'll definitely set the wheels in motion for the "Road to WrestleMania."

See folks, there's this little saying known as being "penny wise and pound foolis," which pretty much cautions against going with what seems to be the most obvious solution in favor of thinking "bigger picture." For the ‘E, the "big picture" here is gearing up for the RAW main event at ‘Mania. And whether its Triple H or anybody else (read: it's SO gonna be Triple H), the fact of the matter is that with Michaels tied up with the McMahons, Show & Kane rocking the tag team gold, and Flair wrapping up loose ends with the IC strap – there's simple a shortage of top-level faces that would make for credible challengers to the red brand's top prize.

So –

Bottom line is that RAW's title picture is going to HAVE to feature a face John Cena and a heel challenger (because heel vs. heel matches are incredibly hard to book properly).

That said –

WrestleMania is the single biggest event of the WWE calendar year, and the company's largest annual one-night money-maker. As a publicly held company, much of their fiscal success in the first and second quarter hinges on the success of the ‘Mania pay per view. If it soars, everybody wins. If it bombs, company falls short of expectations and is forced to cut costs. Which means? Layoffs, people. Just ask the kind folks over at Ford Motors about that sort of thing.

Now then –

From a business perspective, the ‘E needed to set the wheels in motion for the big ‘Mania push as soon as possible (read: right after the ‘Rumble). Since much of the success of the WrestleMania PPV hinges on the quality and length of the build-up to it's title bout main events, the company simply couldn't afford to spin their wheels in hopes that things would just "work themselves out" with the Edge/Cena/Mania title picture.

Which means –

Knowing that they're in need of a heel vs. face title bout for ‘Mania (and Edge is *much* more of a draw as a "dick heel" than he would be as a "goofy face"), WWE simply couldn't take the financial risk of letting Edge hold onto the belt for however long it took Cena to win back all of the fan support he once had.

If the fans' timetable of re-accepting Cena takes too long (say, they don't take him back until mid-to-late March), then the company would be forced to half-heartedly hotshot the marquis title match (ala Booker T vs. Triple H) in the small window of opportunity left in the weeks (if not days) that followed that magic "arrival of Cena finally winning enough fans to suddenly justify giving him the belt once again.

OR –

On the flipside, if the fans kept dragging their feet on Cena for too too long, then the ‘E would find themselves stuck with a heel versus heel ‘Mania match-up – which is anything but a sure-fire money match to co-headline the biggest PPV of the year, and a BITCH to book without hotshot turning either guy face in a pinch.

So –

Gripe about Cena's title victory all you want, haters – but the bottom line is that with WrestleMania on the immediate horizon (and the ultimate paydays of everyone on the WWE roster hanging in the balance), then the good Doctor of Thuganomics' "Time Is Now" to get back on top of the title heap to allow the ‘Mania title picture to take shape around him.

Enough about RAW, though. Let's wrap this puppy up with two quick points (since we pretty well covered the rest of this bout's aspects in the above breakdowns) regarding Smackdown's contribution to the final match on the Rumble card, yes?

Issue VI: The World Title Match
"The RAW title match should have went on after this bore-fest. It was better hyped and it was the better of the two matches."

Remember all of that stuff we discussed about the reason why ‘Taker had to come on last? Good – moving on.

"Undertaker coming out at the end totally put him over yet again and made Mark Henry's losing effort even *less* significant than it already was."

Sigh…

Remember when everybody was so steamed about Henry being "undeserving" of a title shot in the first place? Yet now they come out of the woodwork to gripe about how the guy was made to look like a non-threat in his title match.

Which leads Mee to say, of course –

Look fellas, it's Mark Henry. We all know the poor guy didn't belong there in the first place, and there was no reason to have him challenging for a belt against Kurt Angle except for the fact that luck would have it that he was stuck in their title picture when Batista went down with injury.

Now as far as ‘Taker coming out and "putting himself (and his theatrics) over Mark Henry's losing effort to capture a World Title"…

Here's your spoonful of fantasy booking (and one that I think the ‘E will likely pick up) to justify what all went down at the ‘Rumble.

‘Taker made his presence known at the end of Henry's title bout, so it only stands to reason that Henry will make HIS presence felt at the end of Taker's. With The Dead Man challenging Angle for the strap at No Way Out later this month (and with Taker still left without a WrestleMania opponent at this point in time) – having The World's Strongest Man cost The Man from Death Valley his title match not only keeps the belt on Angle (without costing ‘Taker any credibility in the process), it also gives ‘Taker a credible ‘Mania "big man" opponent to tackle at this year's big show.

Now true, Mark Henry is hardly a threat to ‘Taker's "unbeaten streak" at ‘Mania, but this is the win-win-win, when you think about it.

WIN 1: Angle gets a credible challenger for No Way Out.

WIN 2: ‘Taker gets a "big man" opponent for ‘Mania.

WIN 3: ‘Taker's unbeaten streak stays intact, and the IWC's least favorite son quietly fades off into the sunset – ever the company man to the last, giving the Dead Man even more of a rub on Henry's way out.

In any case –

This booking approach will wrap up all the loose ends and give each man a meaningful (if ultimately one-sided) match for WrestleMania. Angle can move on to Rey and/or Orton without losing any steam, and ‘Taker and Mizzark can get their "clash of the titans" on since the current roster is pretty thin in terms of available competitors for the Dead Man to face ("bury?") at the Grandaddy of them All.

So to close –

Agree or disagree with the decisions that went into making this year's Royal Rumble what it was, judging by each of the aforementioned arguments – its pretty hard to argue that *any* of these decisions were simply "shortsighted," "shameful" or "suck-tastic."

The WWE has been in the wrestling business longer than any of us, and – even if we might disagree with their decisions at times – rest assured that the ‘E knows what their doing, folks.

Maybe next time around, we won't be so quick to assume that they've forgotten that.


Agree? Disagree?

"Methinks it sounds a parley to provocation!"
- Iago, Othello
Act II, scene iii

Shoot me YourThinks and I'll post your thoughts next week!

Now then…


The Unofficial Glossary of Professional Wrestling: Volume XI

We're compiling a massive Wrestling Glossary of fan observations of the clichés, trends, and standbys of the wrestling world that might as well serve as the unofficial "rulebook" for this sport we all love so well. Each week, I'll post one an entry of my own as well as a few submitted by you, my faithful (and hopefully articulate) readers.

It's simple, really. You submit an entry, I add it to the Glossary, and you get the credit.

This week's entries…

The Law of Super-Slo-mo Championship Conversation
When two wrestlers are backstage in a conversation, there are many peculiar things that happen when the mentioning of a championship occurs. When one performer is to say the name of said championship, for example, he or she must 1) say the name of the championship very slowly (i.e. – The World......Heavyweight......Title), as well as 2) automatically forget whomever he or she was talking to as they gaze off into space and 3) use both hands so as to pantomime as if they were outlining every word as they utter it in such a slow and deliberate fashion.
- Jay P. Barb

The Law of Super-Slo-Mo Steel Cage Climbing
Despite some wrestlers being known for their quickness and agility, any and all ascending and descending of steel cages must be done with extreme caution and surefootedness. As such, even those wrestlers who routinely execute frantic high spot maneuvers must exhibit extreme caution when exiting a steel cage so as to make sure to fully climb down the cage walls in a slow and deliberate fashion. No jumping from any height is permitted. Likewise, while scaling the wall of a steel cage from the inside of said structure, even the fastest-paced of grapplers is expected to secure his or her footing with each step up the wall of a cage. As such, even the quickest of wrestlers who'd normally scale a turnbuckle or ring rope with little difficulty must automatically find themselves caught in slow motion when attempting to escape a steel cage (exception: see Hardy, Jeff).
- Ranan Engelhart

The Steel Cage Avenue of Escape Paradox
If a steel cage match is scheduled between a heel and a face competitor with "escape only" rules in effect, there will be two ways to secure a victory – either by escaping over the top of the cage or by exiting the structure by leaving through the door. While heel wrestlers reserve the right to exercise either of these escape strategies at will, it is a well known fact that there is an invisible force-field that surrounds the cage door that will automatically prevent all faces from successfully exiting a cage by way of said avenue of escape. As such, there has never been a recorded incident of a "face" competitor winning a steel cage contests by means of escaping through the cage door. Remarkably, even to this day face competitors still continue to make attempts at being the first non-heel to successfully exit a cage by way of the structure's door, when history (and common sense) would clearly indicate that their efforts would be much better spent elsewhere.
- meehan

The Secret Opponent Clause
If a competitor is slated to have a match, but they are unaware of whom they will be facing – even in tag matches where one team doesn't know who one singular opponent will be tagging with – then it is a rule that the mystery opponent/partner must be Kane. Should Kane be unavailable, The Big Show can suffice in a pinch – but The Big Red Machine is the preferred choice for any and all surprise opponents. Should both men prove unavailable, a hometown hero (see: Ric Flair in North Carolina) may suffice, but again – Kane is to be held on stand-by as the preferred secret opponent.
- kahz

The Pre-PPV Law of Karma
Much like a groom seeing his bride prior to the wedding day, it is considered to be *extremely* bad luck to either a) win a non-title or tag match or b) lay hands on an opponent's championship belt in the week prior to a pay per view showdown. Whomever comes out victorious in the main event tag match on the RAW or Smackdown the week prior to a PPV contest will automatically lose his or her singles' bout at said PPV. Likewise, should a competitor lay his or her hands on their opponent's championship belt at the last televised show prior to the pay per view, this challenging competitor is virtually assured to come home empty-handed at the pay per view.
- Mark Satrang

The Terry Funk Retirement Rule
Terry Funk can never retire. Ever. (see also: Flair, Ric; Hogan, Hulk; and Piper, Roddy).
- Colin Roscoe

Nicely done, gents. Plenty more glossary entries to come – but we can ALWAYS use more!!! So e-mail your submission for a future installments today!

And now, to the reader feedback…


YouThinks Reader Mail

Lets cut the jibber-jabber and get right to it this week. We'll start with a few quick corrections from last week's column, from Chris Cannon (Palmer's younger brother?) and James None.

Great UT sarcasm...he didn't get it...meh But check your "New Brood" info. E&C came first....THEN Matt and Jeff.
- chris cannon

Whoops. My bust! Thanks for that Chris! And if you happened to catch this year's Rumble – I toldja the Dead Man had supernatural lightning shooting abilities!

Hey Meehan –

I really enjoy your articles, you write one of my favorite articles, and I really enjoyed the Boogeyman article. I personally really enjoy the Boogeyman even if he can't wrestle at all, he's still one of the most entertaining guys on Smackdown. Well getting to the point, Wasn't Edge & Christian the original Brood, and The Hardy's joining the brood after E&C broke away from Gangrel. Alright well I enjoy your article keep it real.
–james none

Again, my bust and thanks for keeping Mee honest James! And yes, the "original" Brood was all kinds of awesome. The "New Brood?" Not so much. Once again, my apologies for the brain fart.

(Repeats to himself aloud – "Canadian Destroyer = Petey Williams, " "New Brood = Matt & Jeff," "Canadian Destroyer = Petey Williams, " "New Brood = Matt & Jeff," – gotta brush up on my quality control here!)

Getting back to last week's topic, first-time contributor Brian had this to say:

GREAT column on Mark Henry. Not that I've ever been a huge fan of his, but as you point out, it's hard to blame the guy. And in some cases, he tried to make even the worst situations better.

His "date" with Chyna was one of the highlights of late 1998, and you could tell at that point he was starting to have some fun in his role as a "sports entertainer." A year or two ago, when he was on a rather significant heel run, I was actually hoping they would give him the Intercontinental Title. It's a decent way to get him over with the fans: Win the title, then the next week on Raw, walk to the ring, lay the belt on the ground, and challenge anyone in the locker room to come out and just try to take the belt from this big, angry black man (hey, it fit in with his character of the time).
-Brian

Thanks for writing, Brian. And you're right – Big Mark's career is definitely a study in wasted potential. Is it because he's a not a competent performer? Hardly – you're absolutely right that the guy actually seemed to be "enjoying" playing the part for a while in there. And he was pretty good at putting some real emotion into his performances, too – for as this next letter explains, Big Mark has been known to flex his "dramatic" acting chops from time to time as well.

Check out this one from Mel and read below for more…

Heya, man. Great piece on a performer who, in my ever-humble opinion, was as much a victim of his career-long booking slump as he was his limited in-ring abilities. I wanted to toss out a couple observations on the issue that I think help the cause:

-Henry was repeatedly bitched out by Vince and Ross for his weight "issues", despite the fact that, unlike the Big Show's lazy-ass fattening over the span of his career, Henry was already sporting superheavyweight size when he came into the 'E. Anybody who's ever watched a world toughman competition can CLEARLY ascertain that Henry's type of build isn't a rarity; when you spend years building raw strength, you aren't going to wind up with Orton's abs. But regardless of the fact that he was suddenly being admonished for being so heavy and, consequently, ate the demotion to OVW, Mark went ahead and dropped something like EIGHTY POUNDS.

Nearly a full Franklin of weight, because he was told to. Despite potential compromises to his weight-lifting career and future strongman endeavors, Mark did what he was told. He polished his ring method, reshaped his physique, jobbed to the up-and-coming OVW talent, and when all was said and done:

The WWE didn't have anything for him to do. Creative couldn't come up with one fucking idea for the guy. So he went back to training as a toughman, put the weight back on, and wound up--one again--on Vince's shitlist for it.

-People rankle on Henry's mic skills,however, it seems to be overlooked that he put in some of the absolute BEST GODDAMN ACTING IN THE HISTORY OF THE WWE during his most idiotic angles. He not only managed to sell the fact that he was "in love" with an eighty-year-old white woman, but during an attack on Mae Young at one point, Mark even managed to conjure up real tears. REAL TEARS. The guy's sitting there over the fallen body of his geriatric love-geek in the middle of the most inane period of his career, and he's putting on the kind of raw emotion that's usually reserved for Christ Benoit slobbering all over the WWE title.

Just incredible. Not many wrestlers COULD do that, let alone WOULD.

Shorthand, I think the criticisms levelled at Henry are bullshit. Especially when you've got guys like Brock and Austin riding the bitch train every time their imaginary characters are compromised for the good of the company.

Cazart,
-Mel.

Real tears earns some serious points from Mee, and I vividly recall watching the segment you're talking about, Mel. If I'm not mistaken, Big Mark was also able to muster up some legit water works when he confessed that his first "sexual experience" was with his SISTER. Anybody who can actually work themselves up enough to sell some genuine "sadness" to help advance such a ridiculous angle definitely deserves some credit for his efforts.

Now as far as the man's weight issues go, seems like great minds think alike, as fellow first-time contributor William the wrassler's brother (you'll see in a second) had this to add:

I must say, I enjoyed your article on the misuse of Mark Henry I personally believe that the WWE sabotaged not only his character but his only wrestling ability as well. The WWE would always let Mark Henry go on extended leaves of absence, so in the meantime he would pack on large amounts of weight in preparation of World Strongest Man contests (which he won, right here in my hometown of Columbus).

Now the weight although beneficial for strongman contests obviously wasn't very productive for wrestling. So when the WWE would call him up with I am assuming little to no notice to get back in ring shape, he couldn't keep up or do anything. To prove my point all anyone needs to do is get a copy of the Brian Pillman 2001 Memorial show where a slim Mark Henry and Bill DeMott easily stole the show. Just my opinion. Keep up the articles.

- William

P.S. Check out my big brothers myspace at www.myspace.com/carltonkaz

Always happy to plug an up-and-coming grappler with an Indy career on the rise, Will.

Your yo-yo'ing weight argument is a very good one. The 2001 Pillman Memorial is a classic example of just how decent a performance Big Mark can put on when given a) the chance to cut weight as appropriate, and b) a competent fellow "big man" with a similar style in the ring. But yes, since the ‘E didn't know what to do with the guy in the mean time, they (rightly) believed that encouraging the guy to enter (and win) strongman type contests could only help get him over in the eyes of the casual "non-wrestling" fan.

But –

As soon as the guy gains some "real world" cred, the ‘E tried to recapture lightning in a bottle and bill the guy as a "wrestler" – which is not only a mistake from a semantic standpoint ("wrestlers" and "strong men" while similar, are not the same), but is also a huge SNAFU from a logistics perspective (because the body type demanded from a strongman competition is most definitely not the same as that which is required for a professional wrestler).

Just a series of tough breaks all around, MeeThinks. Kind of a shame, too – since he seems like such a company man. First-time contributor Michael F seems to feel that Mark isn't just a "company" man, though – but also that he's one hell of a BUSINESS man to boot. Let's see what he's got to say on this one:

I think Mark Henry is one of the most successful wrestlers in history. He's been making great coin for the last ten years whether he worked or not, in a business where guys bust their asses for shit for years just for a shot at the big leagues.

Big Mark is in it for the cash, and thats exactly what hes been making. He knows full well how soon wrestling fans are to forget, so what's the big deal about these stupid angles? The guy is now probably set for life, which is a helluva lot better than most wrestlers can say at the end of their careers (can you say Ric Flair?) WHOOOOOO!!

-Michael F

While I'm not a particular fan of your decision to single out poor old Nature Boy, Mike – you make a pretty good point just the same. Henry basically made a career out of pulling a "Bill Goldberg" type move – rather than compete on television, he simply rode out the bulk of his tenure by just getting paid to sit at home and laugh all the way to the bank. The difference, however – is that Goldberg made the conscious decision to ride out the duration of his WCW contract without lifting a finger. Big Mark, on the other hand – was simply forced to sit on the sidelines because his employer had absolutely a) no use and b) no ideas for him.

Now as far as being "set for life" goes – that one's debatable. $1 million a year for a decade is a pretty penny, but when you really stop and think about it – after taxes, we're talking less than $5 million when all's said and done. When you subtract normal "cost of living," travel expenses and the typical purchases that tend to accompany such an exorbitant salary (properties, cars, "livin' the high life, etc.) – you're probably looking at less than half of that amount left over. So maybe "set for life" might be open for discussion, but you're right that he's probably in a lot better shape than a number of his contemporaries (say guys like Glacier, Koko B.Ware, or Flair, who seems to be in a bad way these days).

Onward…

Marlen Austin chimed in on the salary question and seemed a bit puzzled about Big Mark's tenure with the E:

Is it really, REALLY true Vince is paying that much for Mark f'n Henry!? And if so, why the HELL wouldn't the WWE braintrust push him the way they are now instead of the humliating stuff they did a few years back? I mean jeez, if they wanted a big fat black guy parading around in stupid and unfunny comedy bits rather than trying to be a no-selling monster that's earning his undeserved paycheck, they could have just hired Anthony Anderson for no doubt a lot less than 1/10th of what they're giving Henry.

Yes, it is really, *really* true. Really. Why did Vince make the guy look like a goon rather than push him to the moon? Simple - they realized they'd invested in a lemon, so they hoped they could simply embarass the dude into quitting (so they wouldnt have to keep paying him the $$$). Shady, I know - but can't blame 'em for trying, I suppose.

Anthony Anderson? You mean the same guy who made "Kangaroo Jack" - a film so very, very bad that even the greatness of Christopher Walken couldn't redeem it?! Yeesh...

Moving on...

Travis from St. Louis had this to say about Mark Henry and the ‘E's general treatment of persons of African-American descent.

Hello MeeThinks:

Some pretty interesting points you bring up about Mark Henry. I share a skin tone (to say it mildly) with Mr. Henry and so I'm always looking for a superstar of African-American descent...who will claim it (sorry Rock)...to be made by WWE. In 2006, I'm still looking. Perhaps the one wrestler who can come close is Shelton Benjamin...but we see where he's stuck. Do you think that Shelton Benjamin could be stalling in his career right now, mainly because he pissed someone off and they have this smart ass (read: dumb ass) angle to pay him back?

Once again, very entertaining and enlightening insights, even for someone who's virtually followed wrestling for a long time.

Travis, St. Louis

Thanks for writing, Travis. Looks like the attempted on-screen punishment of Shelton Benjamin has actually worked out in the poor dude's favor, as the laughable "Mama" gimmick is actually getting the guy over and proving to be a consistently entertaining addition to RAW's weekly broadcasts.

So will Shelton be THE breakout African-American superstar of 2006? Tough call there – because while he appears to be on a course to square off against Flair for the IC strap sooner than later, this might be viewed by some as a lateral move holding pattern for the master of the T-Bone Suplex – as he was feuding for this exact same strap just about a year ago at this time.

Still – it's always good to see the ‘E recognizing talent, so even if it's just another run with the IC belt while they sort out the main event picture, you wont hear Mee complain on this one.

As far as the next "breakout" African American WWE superstar goes, though – I wouldn't be surprised to see Booker T back in the main event picture by year's end, as he's due back from injury any day now, and he's been on a roll as of late. There's another long shot African American performer out there too, ya know… but I'll let Travis (two Travis'es in one week!) tell you about this one….

So, I am very happy to see JBL fall to the boogeyman. This gimmick is really starting to take off and while I don't see a WHT reign coming anytime soon, what about him freaking out booker t for a while and going after the UST or team him up WITH papa shango and have them capture the tag team titles. This may be a crappy idea or a hilarious one, but if it happens we will ride it out regardless.

Now I know how Larry has his Dancing Brock, can we come up with a counter in having the Boogeyman shimi on the meethinks column? Thinking of that you know have the wrestlemania 22 main event right behind Jerry the King lawler vs. the burger king king. HAIL THE BOOGEY!!!

- travis

Dancing Boogeyman Avatar = Mesmerizing Comedy Gold. If anybody out there has access to software that will let you create this sort of thing, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE contact Mee ASAP!!!

Now then – Boogeyman/Shango would be perversely entertaining in the short-term, but it might ultimately wind up sucking more heat from old Boogey than it winds up putting on him in the long run. "Sidekick" type characters never tend to pan out very well (see: B-Squared, Rosey, Cassidy Riley, etc.).

Still, a Boogey/Booker program is something that I'm not only looking forward to, but also anticipating in the "sooner than later" category. The Boogey character only works if he's pitted against an opponent that's willing to sell like a champion to help get the guy's freakishness over. Not even just in the ring, mind you – but in their ability to effectively convey that delicate balance of "I'm SO gonna kick this freak's ass" and "shit dawg, this guy is LOCO!" Booker T is one of the best people on Smackdown to do exactly that, not to mention the fact that with Boogey playing the "tweener-leaning-unlikely-face" role, the ‘E has to be extra careful to book him against opponents that are "tweeners-leaning-heel." With his "guy we love to hate" charm and his spot-on facial expressions, JBL was a great choice for the guy's first program. Looking at the Smackdown roster – I wouldn't be surprised if Booker T was a logical choice for Boogey's feud #2 or 3.

So – (whew!) I think 22 single-spaced pages is enough for this week… so


And With That, I'm Outta' Here

Kudos if you made it this far into the column, and thanks again for reading. Kindly tune back in next week for more interweb shenanigans with a positive spin, plus YourThinks, and more glossary entries to round things out.

Thanks again for reading, see you back here next week – and always stay positive.

-Meehan