News to Start Your Weekend 02.10.06
Posted by Nick Marsico on 02.10.2006
I am sick, and not just of RAW. SmackDown! was great and there's news in here too. Plus, get your fix of everybody's favourite fat WCW commentator.
Being sick stinks, and so does not having your own computer. I backed into downloading a virus a few months back and spent a while trying to just clean it off of my system, but although I got close, I wasn't able to finish the job. So on Wednesday, I did a complete wipe of my system and reinstalled the OS, but the internet wouldn't connect, so I had to bring my lovely laptop over to the IT department. With a whole lot of luck, I'll have it back tonight (Friday night), like the nice fellow told me I would I'm not going to be unrealistic though, so I'm not EXPECTING it before the weekend, but I am hoping they'll get the job done, because all they're doing is a task that should take them no more than 5 minutes to complete; a task they could easily do as I stood there waiting and not held anybody up.
Oh, and I've come to find myself a bit ill, probably just a rather large and annoying head cold (God, I hope so), but whatever it is, it sucks, since I've not felt like this in years. Small head colds (the SNIFFLES how cute), sure, but not incredibly deep chest whatever, a touch of nausea (as soon as I finish typing this and stand up, I'll want to just fall to the floor in a daze), and my head is burning up. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, NANCY BOY? Yeah, I was fine earlier in the day, too went to class, came back and decided around 4 that I needed a nap, so I did that, and I woke up around 7:45 under the guise that it was AM, not PM, and wondering why I had set my alarm for 8:20 when my first class isn't until 11 on Fridays. Eventually I figured it out, and after getting some damn homework out of the way, I came here for YOU GUYS. This is your column, people, enjoy it!*
*Or don't, I couldn't give a shit either way, you ninnies.
HELL, LET'S JUST GET TO THE NEWS. I WANT SOME CHICKEN SOUP*
*For my soul LOL!1!!1!!!!11!
Trish's date
The man that played Trish's date was just a model that they hired for the night.
Yeah, and he's easily the least appealing-looking male model I've ever seen in my life. I hate you, smarmy male model with stupid hair. You stink, male model.
A whole buncha news because I'm sick and I'm the boss
Former WWE star Joanie "Chyna" Laurer will be part of VH1's "Surreal Life: Fame Games." The show will have former "Surreal Life" stars compete in various activities with the winner getting $100,000.
Laurer will also appear on "The Howard Stern Radio Show" on 3/1. She has become somewhat of a Stern regular.
Samoa Joe is now fully recovered from his staph infection. (PWInsider.com)
Konnan and Homicide are pushing to get Low Ki back in TNA. (Wrestling Observer Live)
I dislike Chyna. She's more awful-looking than ever these days and last time we saw her (on the Surreal Life), she was more incoherent than someone who might be very incoherent on a day in which that person would likely be very incoherent (make you own jokes, I don't give a shit, I'm dizzy).
I'm glad for Joe. Now have a good match this weekend, sir. And don't eat anybody in the crowd (Well, go ahead and eat the Jeff Hardy girl. Then eat Jeff too).
Yes, bring Low Ki in, let WWE have AWFUL Apolo and his stupid slacks shorts, and put Low Ki in that group so they can be a true ass-kicking faction.
On second thought, Joe, don't eat Hardy. You'll likely get Robert Reed's disease and be stoned out of your mind until you die. Bad trip plus commercials (strategically placing an I and an S in the word somewhere) equals a harsh way to finish your life.
Duggan to return full-time?
WWE is considering keeping Hacksaw Jim Duggan as a regular character and putting him and Goldust together as a tag team.
I'm all for it. This shit has potential if they can even come close to tapping into the GOLD that was Bookdust. Just don't make them prominent. Make them feud with the Spirit Squad.
Man down! Man down! SAT man down!
Joel Maximo, one half of the SAT tag team, got stabbed in Queens, NY last night in a mugging attempt and is currently hospitalized. Maximo and another indy wrestler, Xavier, were approached by three man while walking the streets of Bushwick, Brooklyn. One of the men tried to get Maximo to hand over his belongings which led Maximo to begin swinging punches. Before he knew it, he had been stabbed several times. The muggers ended up not stealing anything.
Maximo is said to be in good condition and will likely be released from the hospital tomorrow.
The SAT have worked in ROH, TNA, and various indy feds.
I probably should have used last week's Mark Madden line in this part of the column this week, not with that stupid-looking model gentleman. Stupid Joel probably tried to use one of his shaky lucha moves to combat his knife-wielding foe. You really are shitty wrestlers, SAT. Red's the only good one of the bunch.
Wrestling Society X
Matt Sydal has confirmed via his blog that he will face Jack Evans at the MTV pilot taping on 2/9 in Los Angeles. According to Sydal, the taping will feature a live punk band performing and all heavyweight matches will be hardcore while all lighter wrestlers will work high flying matches.
As reported earlier, the promotion will likely be called Wrestling Society X. Sean Waltman, Teddy Hart, New Jack, Vampiro, PJ Polaco (formerly Justin Credible), Lizzy Valentine (formerly Valentina), and Altar Boy Luke are all scheduled to appear on the 30 minute pilot.
This sounds pretty decent, actually. One question, though (hack obvious joke approaching, take cover)
" all heavyweight matches will be hardcore while all lighter wrestlers will work high flying matches."
So they're just going to play tapes of TNA?
Legends PPV!
Tickets for the World Wrestling Legends PPV on 3/5 will go on sale this Saturday. The show will be held at Hard Rock Live in Orlando, Florida. The following matches have been announced for the show.
* Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Kanyon
* Hacksaw Duggan vs. Nikolai Volkoff (with the Iron Sheik)
* The Midnight Express (Stan Lane, Bobby Eaton, & Dennis Condrey w/ Jim Cornette) vs. Bob, Brad, & Scott Armstrong
* Jimmy Snuka vs. Greg Valentine
Other names scheduled to appear on the taping include Tully Blanchard, Jimmy Hart, Vampiro, Bruno Sammartino, Bobby Heenan, Jake Roberts, Hacksaw Duggan, Rick Steiner, Lance Russell (calling his first PPV broadcast), Buff Bagwell, Kamala, Koko B. Ware, Mike Graham, Virgil, Tom Prichard, Johnny B Badd, David Flair, Norman Smiley, Ron Niemi, The Blue Meanie, and Disco Inferno.
I want Norman Smiley (it's pronounced Smi-LAY) & Disqo vs. David Flair and Buff Bagwell in a Disqo Duck stuffed in Judy Bagwell's Hole on a Poll match. MAKE IT HAPPEN.
Vinman "happy"?
Vince McMahon was said to have been very happy at the tapings on Monday and Tuesday to the point that many thought he was forcing it. The positive attitude may be the result of the groping allegations that broke last week. McMahon is known for never letting his personal problems bring him down in front of employees. He did not discuss the allegations with anyone, although many wrestlers and workers were discussing the situation.
Insert Mark Madden line here. Happy, Evocator? HAPPY? You have TAKEN MY SOUL
Test and Foley's thoughts on the use of Eddy Guerrero
Former WWE star Andrew "Test" Martin blasted WWE today on his official website for continuing to use Eddie Guerrero's name in storylines. Below is part of the commentary.
"What I have seen of the handling of Eddies death wants to make me puke. You know? When Eddie past away, I said to a friend of mine that instead of mourning I betcha Vince is thinking of how he can make money out of this? Not to say I said so but to be honest I didn't see the burning of Eddie's lowrider..I heard about it which was enough to make me sick then...and now I see Randy Orton saying, "Eddie is in hell"...is that how desperate this company is right now...I wonder what does Eddies wife and three beautiful children think when they hear people saying that their husband and father are in hell? Is there no boundaries to this...disgrace..this...CHEAP heat. I wonder how Eddie;s kids feel when they go to school {and we all know how cruel children can be} and get ridiculed and made fun of because their dad is supposedly in hell? I wonder how Eddie's wife feels when the man she stood by for so long and changed his life around is being told to MILLIONS of people that her husband is in hell? Well if Eddie was in hell Vince would know because he's the one who would have to let him in and I guarantee that's not where Eddie is! Classy guys..real FN' classy!"
Mick Foley also has put his thoughts in his WWE.com Blog. You can read the rest of Test's commentary, featuring his thoughts on Stacy Keibler's rise of stardom and more here.
Greenberg to TNA?
During an appearance on the Bubba the Love Sponge Radio Show today on Sirius, Bill Goldberg said that if SpikeTV and TNA are ready to invest some money and go after WWE, he would be interested in getting involved. He added that he and Sting have had recent talks about TNA.
Goldberg also mentioned that he thought WWE "blew it" with his WrestleMania XX match against Brock Lesnar and thanked Hulk Hogan for helping him find his current agent.
Yeah, Billy, they certainly screwed up your WrestleMania match. It was absolutely all their fault. I mean, what were they thinking keeping you off TV for so long leading up to the event? I can't believe that Goldberg, the consummate professional who lives and breathes for professional wrestling, the guy who spent years and years of his life toiling away in independent promotions and overseas just so he could finally reach the pinnacle and get his shot, that one moment where he could become "Da Man" if for only a short moment before being ushered back from whence he came. I feel for you, Goldberg. I really do. (Mark Madden line?)
Cappotelli relinquishes the title
Last night at the OVW tapings Matt Cappotelli surrendered the OVW Heavyweight title. Cappotelli, who is 26, handed back the title to back to Danny Davis, saying that he can't do the title justice because he can't defend it due to his condition. Cappotelli continued on with a very emotional speech, explaining that he does indeed have brain cancer. His doctors told him, on a scale of one-to-four, four being the worst, that his cancer was a two. He is looking at his options, but he will likely be undergoing surgery, and likely chemotherapy as well. He said that his future was unsure, and doctors told him it was too soon to determine whether he would wrestle again.
The building was in tears as the wrestlers surrounded the ring, and Cappotelli had to stop several times to compose himself through prayer. When he finished all of the wrestlers got in the ring with him. The taping ended at 10pm and Cappotelli stayed for hours exchanging numbers and email addresses with almost the entire crowd.
The speech will air on the OVW TV this weekend.
This really blows, man. You can also catch the clip on the front page of WWE.com if you have no direct access to OVW on television. We're all thinkin' of ya, Capp. Pull through, buddy. Chemo's a bitch (just ask my younger cousin boy's a stronger man than I'll ever be), but I believe you can get past this.
More on the Legends PPV and the MTV pilot
Scott Steiner is the latest name to be added to the World Wrestling Legends PPV on 3/5. The show will be titled "World Wrestling Legends Presents the 6:05 Reunion." 6:05 is a reference to the old starting time for wrestling on Saturday nights on TBS.
Dave, Earl, and Brian Hebner have also been added as refs. Former WCW ring announcer David Penzer will work the show as well. Many former WCW workers will be handling backstage duties such as Craig Leathers, Doug Dillinger, and Colin Bowman.
MTV is using the Wrestling Society X name for their new wrestling pilot which tapes today. Matches that are likely are Sean Waltman vs. Vampiro (possibly a ladder match) and Jack Evans vs. Matt Sydal.
XPW producer Kevin Klinerock, David Marquez (who works with the Inoki family), Vampiro, and Cody Michael will be handling the booking for the show.
Everyone who works the show has signed deals that require them to work exclusively for the MTV show during its season if it gets picked up.
I don't really think there's need to comment. Too bad they couldn't get Mark Madden, though.
NEWS EQUALS OVER NO SHOW THOUGHTS
I just want to close this puppy up and go to bed. RAW stunk, SmackDown! last week was PHENOMENAL (not a bad segment, people), and I don't like how warm my forehead is right now.
PREVIEWS, EMAILS, OTHER?
WWE Friday Night SmackDown! Preview
Fatal Four Way Match #1 Contendership for the United States Championship
Chris Benoit vs. Orlando Jordan vs. Matt Hardy vs.JBL
Non-Title Match
MNM vs. Brian Kendrick & Paul London
JUNIORS DIVISION!
Tzuki & Octagoncito vs. Mascarita Sagrada & Valencia
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Champion Gregory Helms vs. Nunzio
The Undertaker vs. Mark Henry
TNA Wrestling iMPACT! Preview
Rhino & Ron Killings vs. Abyss & Monty Brown
Tag Team Tournament Finals #1 Contendership for the NWA Tag Team Championship
Chris Sabin & Sonjay Dutt vs. Austin Aries & Roderick Strong
Samoa Joe in a "three way challenge"
Team 3D vs. Diamonds in the Rough
TNA Wrestling Against All Odds Preview
NWA World Heavyweight Championship
Champion Jeff Jarrett vs. Christian Cage
TNA X Division Championship Three Way Match
Champion Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles
Falls Count Anywhere
Rhino vs. Abyss
NWA World Tag Team Championship
Champions America's Most Wanted vs. Winners of the Tournament
Fan-Voted Grudge Match
Team 3D vs. Team Canada
Grudge Match
James Gang vs. Latin American Exchange
Pre show matches
Ron Killings vs. A1
Lance Hoyt, Shark Boy & Cassidy Riley vs. Elix Skipper, David Young & Shannon Moore
And the email section
Michael Marsico, my internet brother, has some humble words, as he cowers at my feet:
Nick,
I know when to be humble. Ya got me good!! Thanks for the kind words(?????) and not making me look too bad. I promise to still read your column faithfully, even if I can't predict matches the way I used to. Very shocked that Edge lost the title. I have been an Edge head forever. Any thoughts on why they took the title off him so quick?
Rey Mysterio? Rumble winner? Okayyy. I'd be very surprised to see him in a main event title match.
Again thanks for listening. Talk to ya soon.
Thanks for reading, sir. Better luck next time, you bad prediction-making motherfucker.
Brian Krane caught my XM reference:
Nice O&A reference in the Friday column bit about Tazz & Cole.
You should start off next week's column by wishing our friend Lil' Jimmy a happy birthday.
That, and you should suggest Vinnie Mac drink a fifth of old grand dad, then drunk drive into a school yard.
O&A! PARTY! ROCK!
Little Jimmy's birthday is in JULY. Get it straight, hoser.
Roman N. Sohor, Jr (aka.Pompous-Named Ass), is also an O&A fan:
Loved the o&a reference.
Too bad Tazz/Cole are on the Lil Doggie company.
Yes, too bad. I've read that it's a pretty decent show, though.
Rob also caught the reference:
Awesome call-back from Norton's bit on O&A. I chose XM over Sirius. "Reunited with O&A and it feels so good."
Yay.
Others had a less positive reaction to my little dig on Sirius. Frank Trovato chimes in:
XM has better personalities? LOL .
XM has better content? LOL
Sounds like someone is pissed off the inferior satelite radio company is finally out selling, out performing and generally out doing XM in almost every way possible. I guess your car came with XM, or you're an Opie and Anthony fan. Im sorry but people as un funny and un talented as those 2 clowns are lucky they are even on any sort of radio in the 1st place. They arent funny, and at their very best they are cheap Howard Stern impersonators and the saddest thing about them is, they know it. The good thing is satelite radio in general is rescuing us from the commercial laden shit music playing un funny hosted gutter trash that is traditional radio. We should be happy we even have it for a medium and despite how talentless they are Opie and Anthony have fans, Howard Stern has fans, Bubba (I don't care for his show either) has fans and that's what we need 2 strong competing companies to make satelite radio the monster it should be so it can do for radio what cable has done for TV.
Have you ever listened to O&A? I was a Stern fan for years, and what he does now is like listening to Dick Clark. That's how far Stern has fallen as far as I'm concerned. He used to be great -- the best -- but now he's barely even a shell of his former self, and he's just a sad, sad man now.
And no, it's not just because I'm some jaded Opie and Anthony fan, because I can still go back and listen to stuff from when I used to listen to him and stuff from even earlier than that, and a lot of it is really, really good. But he SUCKS now, and he's got nothing.
Also, check the numbers, sir. Sirius had a really good quarter. XM also had a very good quarter. Of course Sirius was going to do better than XM Howie, as decrepit as he has become, is still the biggest name in the business, so obviously he's going to spark some sales. Just don't come back crying when XM (who has nearly double the amount of total subscriptions than Sirius does), pulls back ahead strong and never looks back. By the way, XM just got OPRAH FREAKING WINFREY. Expect a good amount of subscriptions for that one, too, because I'm not sure if you noticed, but Oprah is a bigger name in the entertainment industry than your boy Howie has ever been. Maybe that 500 million dollar deal isn't looking so good in Sirius' eyes any more. Good luck.
Ryan S. also had some feedback:
Do you work for XM Radio or something? What a lame rant that was, especially since you're sticking up for the MTV of satellite radio. By the way, which company do you think nabbed the most subscribers in 2005? They didn't get Sirius for the looks.
You're right, nobody did get Sirius for the looks. If I remember correctly, XM actually gained approximately 400-500,000 more subs than Sirius this year. In fact, while I'm lazy and sick and don't feel like looking that up to make sure, I can link you to this article right here:
"In a more recent case, how about XM Satellite Radio (Nasdaq: XMSR)? The company was the first to launch a satellite-radio service. It commands nearly twice as many subscribers as rival Sirius (Nasdaq: SIRI) does, and it sports greater revenues and narrower losses. However, the market is currently granting Sirius a higher market cap because Sirius managed to land the buzz and publicity that comes with legendary morning-show host Howard Stern. The odd thing, though, is that since the Stern deal was announced in October of 2004, XM has still managed to sign more subscribers at the same subscription price as Sirius."
Oopsie! Somebody's speaking from someplace other than their head, and probably listening to Howie under the impression that everything he says is factual information. Newsflash: It's not. Get some concrete information and then write me back, would ya loverboy?
Finally, Cyrus Krapf-Altomare has some thoughts on the Eddy Guerrero situation:
Hello. My name is Cyrus, and I read News to Start Your
Weekend most of the time. It's cool.
I do, however, have a complaint about this week's edition.
Something that has been bothering me is the near pan-IWC opinion that the WWE is doing something wrong by continuing to use Eddie Guerrero as a character after his death in various angles. I am forced to disagree.
Now, I don't know the situation. But, neither do you, and neither does any IWC writer. I know that Vince knows the situation, Rey Mysterio knows the situation, Chavo knows the situation, and most importantly, the Guerrero family knows the situation. None of them have said one word against it publicly yet, for the longer Eddie's name makes an impression, the more money his family will have to raise his 3 kids. I am not a wrestler, but I have a background in theater. I grew up in it and both my parents are actors. One thing that lies supreme in theater, especially in the more carny areas like pro-wrestling is one simple tenant: The Show MUST Go On!
I know one thing about Eddie Guerrero. Eddie knew that the show must go on. The only hope an actor can have in death is that his character is so important, it must live on as a ghost or something after the body dies. Not to get too metaphysical, but you see my point I'm sure. In any case, Eddie would probably be thrilled to know that his name is spoken with reverance by all the fans and all the faces, and that the heels still get their heat off of him because they're all mad that they can't beat him. I truly believe that it's allright that in this pretend real world of wrestling, everybody acted like someone had really died, because he did. Some people hold him up longer than others, and some poeple are jerks about it or didn't care that much. Randy Orton, the character didn't care that much. The legend Killer sees it as another contender out of his way, and some dead guy sucking up his screen time. Why wouldn't he say things like that about him to piss off his best friend in life, Rey Mysterio? It just all makes sense to me.
Anyway, that's my opinion and one I think should be heard if for no other reason then because everyone else says a singular other thing. Thank You, and keep on opening up my weekend.
It makes you think, doesn't it? Now while I don't completely agree with the guy, his third paragraph is a really convincing argument. My opinion, basically, is that while obviously I feel that they should be using more creative means to go about doing things, the Orton segment on SD came off really well in my opinion, especially as far as the delivery from both guys and the fight at the end of it. It's a really tough issue, and while I don't advocate it and I wish they weren't doing it, there's nothing I can do about it except stop watching, but I'm not going to do that. My rant on McMahon from last week still stands, though, but this fellow certainly did shine a little bit of light on the situation and gave a pretty valid opinion. Thanks.
