The FlipSide Wrestling Report 02.11.06
Posted by Ryan K. Boman on 02.11.2006
Watch closely, as I take this 2/11 to another level.
I'm never going to another Super Bowl party again. At least, not one involving women or children. This year's was a disaster.
Between listening to the women gab in my right ear, and kids running in front of the TV, I really wasn't sure what was happening on Sunday. I'm still not convinced the Steelers actually won, because I was only able to absorb about 17.5% of the whole telecast. The only positive to the entire experience was that my wife went out of her way to make some seriously good food, and took it over there on a big serving tray. But then, some bastard ate the last chicken wing when I wasn't looking.
So that's it. Next year, we are staying home. No Super Bowl party—just me and my family, about two gallons of booze, and five different appetizers. I'll be sitting there, right in front of my own TV, in an environment I can actually control. I'll be able to turn the channel when I want to, without asking anyone's permission. I won't have to sit through a shitty halftime show featuring Christina Aguilera, Neil Diamond, and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
But, the past is past, and a lot is happening in the world of professional wrestling. It's getting a bit crazy for all of the loyal turnbuckle heads out there. Stories, rumors, and even a bunch of crap seem to be swirling around. Let's get right to it, shall we?
From the 411 newswire
TNA to land Prime Time slot: Easily the biggest news of the week. For the first time in five years, we will actually see WWE gauged by an opponent's performance on another channel. TNA will probably never reach the heights of the mighty McMahon dynasty, but it's encouraging for wrestling fans everywhere that a viable second promotion has finally emerged. Whether you like the TNA product or not, it's a positive that they are an alternative to WWE. Congrats to Dixie and crew for taking another big step...
In his latest WWE.com blog entry, Mick Foley says that WWE has and is exploiting Eddie Guerrero's death in the current Rey Mysterio/Randy Orton angle, adding that Orton does not need such cheap heat and the angle is cheapening Eddie's life: Much like Tupac and the Notorious B.I.G., Eddie is more of a cash cow in death than he was in life. Foley is absolutely right in his assessment, but what more do you expect? The WWE has long made money and fueled storylines off of real-life situations. Without pride or prejudice, Vince McMahon uses true/semi-true backdrops as the impetus for his on-air debauchery. My advice to Mick is this: If you don't like what WWE does, then quit cashing paychecks with their logo on it. Otherwise, you're a hypocrite.
Fans who want to attend the MTV wrestling taping will be paid but must send their contact number and photo to brandon@standingroomonly.tv. As is usually the case with MTV shows, it is likely that only pretty people between the ages of 18 and 25 will be allowed to attend. It is also expected that fans who attend will have to sign a non-disclosure sheet: Apparently, network executives want to turn this thing into TRL meets WWE. Not a bad concept, but we'll see if they are gambling too much on the mainstream audience and not enough on the traditional wrestling crowd. If MTV can pump enough hype and money into this thing, then I'm betting that it will be a success. For the most part, everything they touch turns to gold with the teeny bopper crowd. Hopefully, wrestling will not be the exception to that rule.
Goldberg Says He Is Interested In TNA: If he's willing to come in and be a team player, then I say sign him right now. He's a legitimate superstar, and has wrestled in big money matches. That's what the people who run Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling are looking for to put them over the top. Spike TV is starting to get behind TNA, and maybe even they could be encouraged to sweeten the deal. No matter if you are a fan of "Da Man" or not, he would be the biggest signing in the history of TNA and would generate even more buzz for the Little Company That Could. As a matter of fact, having Goldberg pop up on their April 13 prime time debut could be a powerful shot in the arm for Dixie and the gang,
Warrior Warrior's lawsuit over his self-made documentary, Always Believe is still going on. The accused, Andrew Wright moved for the case to be dismissed on Feb. 1st for lack of jurisdiction since it's filed in Arizona, where he does not live, hasn't visited, and has never done business in. Warrior Warrior resides in Arizona. The judge hasn't ruled on this as of yet: The next time I hear reference to Warrior Warrior, I'm going to shoot myself in the face face.
Simon Inoki is at WWE Headquarters today. There are no other details as of now, but speculation is that this has something to do with Brock Lesnar's continuing legal battle. Lesnar is currently working for New Japan and is the IWGP Champion. It could also have something to do with WWE being interested in NJPW video footage: Hopefully, this leads to the whole Brock and WWE thing being squashed. I'm tired of hearing about it, to be honest with you. Brock doesn't want them, and WWE doesn't want him. I'm sick of reading about this crap. Get it fixed.
Vince McMahon was said to have been very happy at the tapings on Monday and Tuesday to the point that many thought he was forcing it. The positive attitude may be the result of the groping allegations that broke last week. McMahon is known for never letting his personal problems bring him down in front of employees. He did not discuss the allegations with anyone, although many wrestlers and workers were discussing the situation: If you ask Bret Hart, he'll let you know...don't turn your back because Vince could fuck you when you're not looking. It's about time that we all face up to the fact that McMahon is a prick, and he'll play you out anytime he gets the chance. In the end, this whole case will probably turn into a settlement-type thing, and Vinny will sweep it under the rug. Then, he will go back to being the same asshole he's always been. At least, that's always been the way these things have been handled in the past.
Former WCW wrestler Mike Sanders was backstage at the Deep South Wrestling taping: I like Mike Sanders. The man is money on the microphone, and not a terrible in-ring performer. Makes sense that he was at DSW, since he's living in Georgia. Hopefully, he'll get a shot with WWE, because I think he's a really talented guy. To be honest— I'd rather see him on my TV, as opposed to 60% of what I'm watching now.
Gratuitous Reference to a fellow 411 Writer
If you ain't got love for Steve Cook, then you ain't got a sense of humor, dude. The man strokes the keyboard like Prince commands the stage. Another thing they have in common is that they both like to lounge around the house in sparkly underwear.
The Made-Up News
Stephanie McMahon to have quadruplets: Doctors confirmed this week that Stephanie McMahon (wife of Triple H) is expecting four babies in her current pregnancy. Reportedly, she will name them Famine, War, Pestilence, and Death.
Larry Zbysko wants a piece of Bruno: More than twenty years after the blow off of their classic feud, Larry Z says he wants to take another shot at the "Living Legend", Bruno Sammartino. After much discussion, the two parties have agreed to wrestle (completely naked) in a giant vat of spaghetti, in what critics are calling the potentially most disgusting match of the year.
Lita checks into rehab: Apparently, she's so addicted to penis that she can't control herself. Doctors say she will be medicated and receive psychological counseling over the next eight weeks. She has also been ordered to abstain from eating hot dogs, cucumbers, or ice cream cones at the present time. We here at 411 wish her a speedy recovery from this illness, and advise her to stop showering with men.
Wrestling Geek Selection of the Week:
The second-ever TNA Wednesday Pay per View (06/26/2002). It was the first time I ever watched TNA, and it culminated in AJ Styles becoming the inaugural X Division Champion. A hell of a show, and a good indication of how far TNA has come. Check it out.
I would like to end this news report with something clever, but I can not. I'm not really a clever fellow to begin with. Therefore, I find myself simply signing off for this week, and hoping you were entertained by this futile attempt to make you laugh. See you guys next Saturday.
