Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People 02.23.06: The Best of Heatlocity (Part 2)

Posted by Ryan Byers on 02.23.2006

After two weeks of recapping Velocity's present, it's time for me to look at the show's past.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. We're back this week with part two of our look at WWE's web-based wrestling broadcasts, which is infused with plenty of Brits, a trio of Mexicans, and a couple of really scrawny white American kids. It's an INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT!

Before we start with the match reviews, I just wanted to acknowledge a little bit of feedback on last week's column. It came from the best damn Heat recapper on 411, Jeff Small:

Ryan,

Considering my job is to write Heat here at 411, let me tell you the quintessential Best of Heat edition. This should be much more entertaining than the brutal edition you had to sit through.

First off, you need Chavo vs. Rob Conway from Dec 2nd. The match runs about 10 minutes (which is ungodly long for Heat) and is probably the best match I've seen on Heat since the online edition started.

Second, I remember liking Carlito vs. Taylor Phoenix from Nov 25th.

Third, you need to have some Tomko and Snitsky on your tape so I recommend their battle with the Heart-Throbs from Dec 16th. While the winners are never in serious jeopardy, the Heart-Throbs put up a good fight.

Finally, you need a Tajiri match. I'm quite partial to the Tajiri vs. Matt Striker match from Nov 11th though for historical reasons you might want to include his final match against Gregory Helms on Dec 16th.

I hope this kinda helps. You know at least know what pain I go through every week. Keep up the good work.

Jeff Small

Well, I do admit that not including Chavo/Conway was a pretty stupid omission on my part, as the match was an easy thumbs up. Despite the fact that he catches a lot of flack on the internet for looking too much like Buff Bagwell, I've always loved the Conman thanks to the bits of his OVW work that I've seen. Plus Chavo has been the most underrated wrestler on the roster for five straight years now, so any time that the two get together the result should be good.

As far as the rest of the matches Jeff suggested are concerned, I can't recommend them that highly. Though I was surprised by the large number of people who wrote in and told me that they loved the Snitsky-Tomko team, I never saw the big deal and didn't find them any more entertaining than they were in their atrocious singles matches. Meanwhile, though I do like Tajiri, his run on the online Heat was disappointing considering some of the things that I'd seen him do in the past. His final match against Helms was particularly sad because it had the opportunity to be a big send-off for the T-Man but wound up just being another Heat match. At least when Lance Storm's departure was televised on Heat, he got to bust out a few more impressive moves than you would see in your typical WWE squash match. I do wholeheartedly support Matt Striker, though, as he can work some pretty good pseudo-strong style matches as evidenced by his brief run in Pro Wrestling WORLD-1. I'd check that out before any of his Heat matches, though.

That does it for Jeff Small. Let's move on to the BIG TIME part of our column.

Cheap Wrestling Tip #30: The Best of Heatlocity (Part 2)

At this point, you should all be well aware of the fact that last week's column focused in on the best matches from WWE's Heat webcast. Unfortunately, that program's "best" translated in to some of the most boring, formulaic wrestling that I have ever seen. This week we'll be taking a look at the Smackdown brand's contribution to the internet, namely WWE Velocity. With a list of regular competitors that includes Kid Kash, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, William Regal, Paul Burchill, Psicosis, Juventud Guerrera, and Super Crazy, it seems almost impossible that this show could be bad. In fact, if you herded all of those guys in to an indy promotion together, you could probably outdraw Ring of Honor.

The question, of course, is whether time constraints and the limitations of "WWE Style" wrestling will water down the individuals' talent to the point that Velocity becomes just as unwatchable as its Raw-branded counterpart. There's only one way to find out.

Match Numero Uno: Sylvan Grenier vs. Joey Ryan
Show: Velocity, 10/29/05

I figured I'd check this one out because of Joey Ryan, who's a SoCal indy wrestler that has impressed me with work both in Pro Wrestling Guerilla and Ultimate Pro Wrestling over the years. He's decent enough for a lightweight indy guy, but I wouldn't look for him to be popping up in WWE or TNA any time soon.

Ryan's shoved back to the corner to start, and Sylvan takes him down with a headlock. Joey reverses it to a headscissors, but Grenier manages to get out. I think the idea was for him to kip out, but that didn't quite work. A top wristlock/hammerlock bit is next from the "former male model," but Ryan elbows out of it and gets slapped for his trouble. Ryan keeps hitting Grenier in the face, which agitates the pretty boy to no end. The former X Foundation member runs in to a standing spinebuster, though, and Grenier kicks him straight out of the ring. Ryan is then run gut first in to the ring apron, and the crowd actually get a "Joey" chant starting . . . there must be a lot of his family in the crowd tonight. Back on the inside, Sylvan suplexes his man and pauses to vogue before hitting a running kneelift in the corner. That sets up a backdrop suplex, and here we go with the requisite WWE chinlock. Ryan powers out in the usual manner, but it actually works better than usual on Velocity because people are still chanting his name. He winds up on his back again, but Grenier misses a big splash. That enables Joey Ryan to land a couple of dropkicks and a cross body from the top rope. Sylvan rolls through it, though, and there's a DDT to finish at 4:23.

Match Thoughts: This was a fine, fine squash. I generally don't care for Sylvan thanks to his run in La Resistance, during which he was far too green to be worth anything in the ring. He looked fairly good here, though, so perhaps some improvement is taking place. The moves he executed (aside from the headscissor escape) were all done well, and he showed some good intensity in the ring, really managing to "snap" when Ryan smacked him in the kisser. Joey looked fairly good working as a WWE-style jobber, too. He knew how not to upstage the bigger star, and he knew exactly how to time his token comebacks. 3/4*

Match Numero Dos: Christian vs. Brian Kendrick
Show: Velocity, 10/22/05

This is one of those bizarre matchups that you never expect to see even if the two men are wrestling in the same company at the same time. A good chunk of the crowd seems to be behind Christian as Spanky takes him down with some forearms and a big dropkick. A running forearm in the corner is next from Kendrick, and Xian is cuaght in a drop toe hold, after which Kendrick repeatedly slaps the back of his head. There's a leg lariat from the younger wrestler, but Mr. Cage catches him a bit low and suplexes him gut-first over the top rope. A Mr. Wrestling #2 kneelift connects with Brian's head as he's hung out, and that knocks him down to the floor. A fireman's carry gutbuster is next form the former European Champion, but it can only get a two count. That sets up the abdominal stretch, which furthers Christian's strategy of working the midsection nicely. A sit-out gordbuster continues that trend, but Kendrick fires back by reversing a second attempt at the move in to a small package. Christian cuts off his momentum with a kneelift, as Josh Matthews references Zero-One and HUSTLE. Christian gets a little bit cocky and poses for the crowd, being cut off by a Spanky leg lariat and a few more flying forearms. He heads up to the top rope, and there's a FAT senton bomb. That looked like a legit finish, but Christian got his foot on the bottom rope at two. The Spankster tries to follow with Sliced Bread #2, but Christian shoves him off and in to the turnbuckles. That's as good of a setup for the Unprettier as any, and Captain Charisma takes home the win at 5:51.

Match Thoughts: This was a pretty fun little bout, as you could almost feel how giddy Christian was to be the larger man in a match for once. He was pretty good in the role too, hitting plenty of offensive moves that capitalized on his size advantage without looking too out of place compared to his regular moveset or his character at the time. Kendrick is always entertaining in these five minute matches, as he seemingly goes out of his way to show the fans something different every time, as was the case here with his great senton and yet another fun bump off of a SB#2 reversal. A high quality quick match all around. *

Match Numero Tres: Brian Kendrick & Paul London vs. William Regal & Paul Burchill
Show: Velocity, 11/12/05

This is another version of a match that I took a look at last week, which turned out to be fairly good. I also realized that I was a bit remiss in not noting that Regal actually had a hand in training Brian Kendrick, as Spanky worked in a WWF-sponsored developmental camp in Memphis for a little while after initially being broken in by Shawn Michaels and the Texas Wrestling Academy.

London and Regal is our opening pairing, and armbars are reversed back and forth. Spanky tags in for his own version of the Mushroom Stomp on Regal, and he goes to a headlock and surprisingly takes the bigger man down with a flying shoulderblock. Sir William eventually escapes and tags out to Burchill, though he too gets caught in a headlock. The future pirate tries to power out with a suplex, but Spanky hangs on and takes him down again before bringing London back in to the match. He works the head as well, and here comes Kendrick for a running neck snap and a nice kneedrop. There's a quick tag to London, and they hit a double Japanese armdrag on Burchill before backdropping Regal as he runs in to the ring. A couple of big forearms in the corner connect on Burchill, and the skinny guys hit a double armdrag in to a backbreaker for two. Finally, with the referee distracted, Regal gets the advantage for his team by pulling down the top rope as London is running. The spill to the floor allows Burchill to take over on his man with a slam and perhaps the most impactful Samoan drop that I've seen in years. He follows with a standing moonsault (!), only to have Kendrick break up the subsequent pin attempt with a low dropkick. Regal is in for a buterfly suplex on London now, and he's out again quickly to allow a Burchill Yakuza kick. A nice backbreaker from Big Paul also connects, but Little Paul knees out of the subsequent hold and tags in Kendrick. He dropkicks everybody, and Regal eats ten punches in the corner, which are followed up on immediately with a Tornado DDT on Burchill. The pretty boys then hit their eznuguri/flatliner combo, and that ends the match at 6:21.

Match Thoughts: This was certainly an odd match to watch given London and Kendrick's status in WWE. They're really just glorified jobbers, but this match wound up almost being a glorified squash for them despite the fact that they were against two guys who seemed to be quite a bit higher on the pecking order at the time. It is true that there was a briefly a heat sequence on London, but his team hit so much offense in the early going and came back to win so decisively that it barely seemed like a competitive tag team match, if at all. So the bell-to-bell storyline was a bit peculiar, but we still managed to see a ton of fun spots from all parties involved. That's good enough for *1/4

Match Numero Cuatro: Paul London vs. Juventud Guerrera (c) for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Show: Velocity, 10/22/05

London's out in his uber-sweet Pac-Man tights this evening, and you've lead a sad existence if you don't know what I'm talking about. The two men trade quick rollups in the beginning, and they do a flashy sequence in which they evade each other's offensive moves off of the ropes. Juvi goes behind (insert gay joke) and moves out of that position to hit a Northern lights suplex. The two men then wind up in a knuckle lock, and a back heel trip from London puts the champ down for a series of two counts. Guerrera gets back to his feet, leaps over the top rope while still in the knuckle lock, and lands on the apron. Yikes. I actually think the spot was a bit off, with Juvi meaning to catch London's neck over the top rope as he was on the way down. Part of the reason I think that is because that's the move Juvi does immediately thereafter. That sets up a springboard dropkick and a chinlock from the Youth Warrior, but London responds with a spinning heel kick as Juvi tries to whip him off the ropes. Paul is up for the Mushroom Stomp after that, but he runs in to a boot and gets chopped down. Not nearly enough men will take a back bump off of chops these days. Juvi screws up as well, missing a Stinger Splash. London tries to take advantage of that position, pulling the champ off the second rope and hoisting him up for a Razor's Edge. Guerrera gets in a nice reversal, turning the move in to a rana and then hitting an inverted powerbomb for a nearfall. The Mexicool tries to follow up with a crossbody, but the HBK trainee rolls through it and lifts up his opponent for a swinging backbreaker. A big boot is next from the challenger, and he tries a springboard move, only to be hit by a Juicy dropkick. It's a dead heat at this point, as the two men trade strikes and knock each other down with simultaneous clotheslines. London's up first and gets in some kicks, but Juvi catches him while he's running . . . DRAGON RANA! That is a move I never thought I would see in WWE. The Juvi Driver follows up, and it ends the match in 8:58.

Match Thoughts: There wasn't much of substance here. No real psychology, no storyline, no incredibly lengthy amount of time. However, you still had some really athletic and eye popping spots that were definitely unique within the company, so I can't completely trash the match. It's also clear that they weren't trying to go out there and wrestle a classic. The match was a perfect example of what I call the wrestling equivalent of candy. It comes in shiny wrappers and is pretty fun every now and then, but you certainly wouldn't want to make a steady diet out of it. I'll call this one *1/2, though they probably could have eked the rating up a little bit if they'd started slower and built to the big finish as opposed to sprinting from the opening bell.

Match Numero Cinco: Brian Kendrick & Paul London vs. MNM (Joey Mercury & Johnny Nitro w/ Melina) (c) for the WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship
Show: Velocity, 11/26/05

Woooo, title match on Velocity! Here's Mercury, here's Spanky, and they lock up. Joey wins on the headlock/shoulderblock front but misses an elbow and gets armdragged. A monkey flip is next from Spanky, and he bars the arm after a couple of hiptosses. Mercury shoves his man in to the MNM corner, though, and there's a tag to Nitro. The Tough Enough champ is also armbarred, and London tags in for the double Japanese armdrag. It gets two, and Nitro works in some forearms, only to run in to a back elbow. That sets up the Mushroom Stomp, and then the Kendrick/London tandem takes turns jumping off the top rope and clubbing Nitro in the arm. That concludes with Spanky as the legal man, and London backdrops him in to a splash on Johnny. Nitro quickly gets the tag to Mercury, and he bails after a little bit of Spanky offense. Kendrick follows him with a headscissor takedown on the floor, and London follows it up with a tope con hilo. Poetry in Motion connects for the challengers on the inside, and Spanky gets two off of a double dropkick. Spanky goes to the high rent district once more, but Melina crotches him behind the referee's back, finally leading in to the champions getting a bit of offense. They hit a double gutbuster, and Mercury continues to work the midsection with a double stomp. Nitro's back in now, and he does an odd handspring in to a kneelift before applying a rear chinlock. Kendrick elbows out of it to the surprise of nobody, and he also hits a jawbreaker. Mercury gets a tag before Kendrick can get his, but Joey is nailed with an enzuguri. London's in and flashy kicks abound, including the dropsault. His initial flurry culminates with a shooting star press off of Nitro's back and down on to Mercury . . . but the numbers game catches up with him. Just when things look their most dire, Kendrick comes in with a top rope cross body on both of the champions. He attempts Sliced Bread #2 on Nitro but gets dumped to the outside a la Spike Dudley. London gets back in, but he's distracted by Melina and planted with the Snapshot, allowing the bad guys to retain in 8:00 flat.

Match Thoughts: This was an interesting one. It broke away from the traditional American tag match setup, as London and Kendrick actually dominated for the majority of the match with only the most minimal of heat sequences on Spanky. Normally this wouldn't play well, but it worked in this context since the challengers are so low on the WWE ladder vis-a-vis the champions. They could've just chosen to do a straight up squash, but instead the smaller men actually got in the lion's share of the offense, particularly at the beginning of the match. This did a good job of establishing them on the level of Nitro and Mercury despite how the two teams had been booked prior to this encounter, which in turn made the match a lot easier to get in to. Top that off with the usual Grade A offense from the combo of Spanky/London as well as that Joey Mercury smug attitude that I just can't get enough of, and I was a happy camper. *3/4

Match Numero Seis: Cruiserweight Battle Royale featuring Scotty II Hotty, Shoichi Funaki, Brian Kendrick, Paul London, Juventud Guerrera, Psicosis, and Super Crazy
Show: Velocity, 10/8/05

This is for a title shot at No Mercy 2005, which should give away the winner if you actually remember anything about that show. My guess is that you don't. Nunzio, the champ at the time, and his good buddy Big Vito are out to watch the match.

The bell rings, and we have your usual cluster, complete with people laying on the ropes and chuckling about just how easy this payday is. Brian Kendrick gets in our first highspot of the night, leaping up over Psicosis' head and on to the second rope. Once there, he jumps off backwards and hits Psi's head with his ass. That's actually good enough for Psicosis to become the first elimination of the match. More generic stuff is punctuated by Funaki getting his bulldog on Super Crazy and looking for a tornado DDT, only to get tossed out of the ring in the process. Scotty II Hotty gets the ten punches in the corner on Juventud and then springs off of the ropes to hit Kendrick with an overhand chop. Spanky is none too impressed and tries to toss out Scotty. Mr. Taylor skins the cat back in to the ring, but he's tossed again seconds later, this time for real. In the meantime, Juventud has wound up on the apron, and Paul London dropsaults Super Crazy. The Insane Luchadore goes charging towards Juvi, but Guerrera ducks to avoid the collision, inadvertently pulling down the top rope in the process and eliminating his Mexicool partner. That leaves London, Kendrick, and Juventud. The New, New Rockers work together for awhile, but Spanky turns on London by springboarding off of Juvi with a clothesline on to his partner. Then, in an AWESOME spot, Kendrick goes for the Sayama flip kick on Juventud, but London cuts it off and shoves him out of the ring while he's in midair. With London and Juventud left, Paul works in the Mushroom Stomp and tries to follow with a springboard dropkick. Guerrera blocks that with a kick of his own, and both men are down. They're up at roughly the same time, and London gets Juventud up in to a fireman's carry for a great false finish. Eventually he gets frustrated with trying to force the Juice out of the ring and just gives him a DVD instead. Now there's a move I never thought I'd see in WWE again. Juvi is forced out to the apron post-DVD, and he and London slug it out. They wind up exchanging blows on the ropes, with Juventud teasing a powerbomb down to the floor. That doesn't work, and London winds up in the prefect position to repeatedly kick Juvi right in the face. Both men wind up hanging off of the top rope immediately after that, and London gets in some kicks from that position as well. As soon as he pulls himself in to a standing position on the apron, though, Guerrera gets in one big kick of his own and knocks the pretty boy to the floor. Juventud wins it at 10:23.

Match Thoughts: This started off slow as most battle royales will, but, once it got down to the last four guys, things went absolutely CRAZY. It was fast paced, the eliminations were innovative, and everybody was willing to bump their butts off. The London/Juventud finale was particularly impressive, as the two of them put together some great false finish spots. I don't know how much crowd noise WWE pumped in to this one, but, if the reaction of the fans was legitimate, they were surprisingly in to the last two minutes of this one and London's valiant efforts to dispose of his opponent. It legitimately looked like Juvi was gone at several points during that period, and, even though I knew who the winner was going to be when the match started, my jaw still hit the floor just because I was amazed that they didn't screw up any of the incredibly risky moves they were trying. (That's risky in terms of botching the finish, not risky in terms of injury.) If I had to rate it, I'd go **, though obviously it's hard to compare a battle royale to a standard match.

Match Numero Siete: Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs. Jamie Noble & Kid Kash
Show: Velocity, 1/28/06

Kendrick and Noble kick things off, and Jamie has been looking for revenge ever since Spanky turned on him at ROH's Punk: The Final Chapter. The redneck messiah succeeds in that regard, taking his opponent down and tagging in Kash, who hits some BRUTAL knees and then lays in some kicks and chops that also appear to be rather snug. Noble's back in after that, but a mistake on his part allows a blind tag to London, who Spanky hiptosses in to a senton. Kid Kash runs in, gets hit with a double hiptoss, leading to both of the bad guys bailing. Of course, that sets up STEREO TOPES from the good guys, and London tries to finish the match with an Oklahoma roll back on the inside. It doesn't work, so the former Cruiserweight Champ hits a Mr. Wrestling #2 style kneelift on Noble . . . and, in a creepy moment, Josh Matthews uses that exact same phrase to describe the move as I'm typing it up. London heads up to the top rope, but Kash runs over and knocks him off and in to the safety rail at ringside. A short-arm clothesline from Noble connects back on the inside, and there's the chinlock form the former Jung Dragon. Paul elbows out and shoots off the ropes, only to be punched in the head. The K-I-D tags back in at this point, and he fires off a couple of great basement dropkicks before dropping a knee on the back of London's head. More stiff kicks follow from the former TNA performer, and there's another quick tag to Mr. Gibson. He applies the cobra clutch, but London fights out of it . . . only to be taken down with a great drop toe hold from Noble. If you're wondering how a drop toe hold can be "great," just watch this one. Kash comes back in here, and he continues to be a total dick, hitting crossfaces on the HBK trainee and biting his head while he's in a camel clutch. Noble's back in for a front facelock, as a strong "Kid Kash sucks" chant starts up from the crowd. London struggles in the facelock and eventually makes a tag, but, of course, the referee was distracted, allowing the bad guys switch illegally. A nasty facejam eventually connects from Kash, and he brings Noble back in to it for some shoulders in the corner. He misses a blind charge, though, and here's the hot tag to Spanky.

Kendrick goes crazy on the inside, clotheslining and dropkicking his foes. He does get caught in a Noble powerslam, but London saves with a dropkick, only to be tossed by Kash. The heels try to double team Kendrick, but London pulls Kash out of the ring and then assists Spanky in getting Noble in to a crucifix for a nearfall. London and Noble wind up in the ring together, but Paul is thrown to the outside one more time, leaving Spanky with Gibson. Jamie tries a running shoulder as Spanky is on the apron, but Kendrick leaps up in to the air, resulting in his opponent diving out to the floor. Then, with the referee checking on the West Virginian, Kash runs in to the ring and clocks Kendrick with the cast that is on his broken arm. Noble gets back in to the ring and applies a dragon sleeper. Spanky is obvious unconscious from the cast shot, but the referee thinks that it's due to the choke and calls fro the bell at 13:20.

Match Thoughts: Not a bad little tag team match here, as I'm a big fan of the London/Kendrick pairing and the Kash/Noble team worked together very well for what I believe was one of their first times as a unit. Kash was particularly awesome, as it looked like he had been watching a bunch of Ohtani tapes prior to the bout and decided to be the biggest jerk possible to his opponents. As you can tell from reading the play-by-play, this was very much an old school RnR Express-esque match on the babyface end, with Paul London taking a licking without ceasing in his ticking. However, the match was brought up to another level by the fact that the two teams were using very modern offense in the context of the old school template, which better allow the crowd (and me) to get in to things. Plus Kash and Noble made the psychology even better, as their primary target throughout the heat sequence was the head and neck of London, which makes perfect sense given that their finishers (the brainbuster and the dragon sleeper) would both ultimately affect that area. Unfortunately, the fact that they won without that little story being paid off takes the overall rating down a bit, but this was still an exceptionally good tag team battle, particularly coming from a promotion that seems to abhor both tag teams and smaller wrestlers. **1/4

Match Numero Ocho: Chris Benoit (c) vs. William Regal for the WWE United States Championship
Show: Velocity, 10/1/05

This is from the first online episode of Velocity, so it's the token "put on a good main event to sucker everybody in to using the new service" match. Personally, I don't care how I'm getting the match so long as I actually am getting it.

These two circle each other to start, and Benoit teases the Crossface within the first ten seconds of the match. Regal slips out before it can even get clamped on, and he asks for a knuckle lock. He kicks Benoit when the Crippler falls for that trick, and there's an armbar from the Englishman. A back leg trip allows the Lord to get in a pinning combination for two. The men wind up back in the knuckle lock, but Benoit monkey flips Regal out of it and winds up in the mount on top of his foe. That results in some brutal headbutting, which Chris continues once they're in the standing position. The chops connect as well, and Regal is officially busted open as we see our first German suplex of the match. William rolls to the outside for a breather, and Benoit tries to follow him out with a baseball slide . . . only to be caught with a sambo suplex on the floor!

Regal kicks his opponent in to the ring steps after that, and he takes it back in to the ring for some work on the leg. Benoit manages to get in a few kicks with his free foot, but it's not quite enough to get Regal to back off. Eventually Regal winds up in a mounted position while still grapevining the leg, and he rubs his forearm in to the champ's face just to add insult to injury. After that, the challenger changes his somewhat generic leg holds to a sick variation on the single leg crab, and he tries to put on the Regal Stretch. Benoit smartly interlocks his hands behind his head so that Regal can't grab the neck, and he finally manages to break the Brit's hold on his leg by making the ropes. Regal stays on top of his man with a backbreaker, and there's a bit more wrenching on the hamstring area. Benoit manages to grab a free arm of Regal's and straightens it out, which briefly turns in to the Crossface before a rope break is forced. Regal is still on top thanks to all of the damage that has been done to Benoit's leg . . . AND THERE'S A FISHERMAN BUSTER! Slick Willie tries to grab the leg again after that, but it leads in to an enzuguri . . . AND THE DRAGON SUPLEX! The Crossface is applied, and Lord Steven taps immediately! That was 9:33 of heaven on earth.

Match Thoughts: The results are excellent every time these two men step in to the ring with one another, and this was no exception. This certainly didn't feel like a match that you would see on WWE television, and it didn't feel that way for several reasons. First of all, it was far more snug that just about any bout you'll see from the E . . . though it still wasn't so dangerously stiff that people were risking injury. On top of that, Regal's leg work was great, perhaps the prefect way to choose a body part and break it down. He didn't just put on one weak hold and leave it there for ten minutes as some less experienced wrestlers do when they're "working a body part." He started off with moves that kept a good deal of distance between himself and Benoit, and, as the Crippler got more worn down, Regal moved in with closer-range moves that were riskier but did more damage. Of course, he ultimately miscalculated and counted the Wolverine out a bit too quickly, which lead to his demise. And what a demise it was, complete with two moves in the finishing sequence that you'll almost never see an American wrestler attempt, which truly made it feel like you were watching something special. Though time constraints and a bit of aging prevented it from being as good as their Pillman Show classic, this was a damn good free TV match and would've worked as the semi-main for most PPVs. ***

Final Thoughts

Well, simply put, if the world of WWE web shows was the movie Twins, Heat would be Danny Devito and Velocity would be Arnold Schwarzenegger. If all of the matches that I reviewed today could be complied on to one DVD, it wouldn't be the greatest release of all time, but it's something that I would definitely be willing to spend $5 - $10 on. The fact that it's free makes clicking around in the Velocity archives the perfect way for a professional wrestling fan to kill a lazy weekend afternoon. If the program has one flaw, it's that a very limited group of wrestlers is featured, so the show could really drag if you don't particularly care for a couple of the guys that pop up on a regular basis. I don't have that problem, so I'm going to give WWE Velocity a hardy thumbs up.