Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People 03.09.06: Snipe Hunt
Posted by Ryan Byers on 03.09.2006
More help with finding wrestling on eBay and some Matsunaga love in this week's review.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. I'm currently on spring break and have sent this column in quite some time before its actual due date. Thus, I can't open the column with some witty reference to current events . . . at least without fear of looking outdated when this thing actually runs. With that being the case, let's just hike up our Zubaz and get started!
Cheap Wrestling Tip #31: Snipe!
I'm amazed that I even have to mention this one in a column. However, some people just don't seem to get the concept, so here it goes.
Over the several months that I have run this column, I've already mentioned numerous ways in which we can use eBay to get wrestling tapes and DVDs at a fraction of their normal cost. I use the site on almost a monthly basis to do just that. As I do so, it amazes me how many people will bid on auctions during the first, second, or even third ay that they're running. Let me make you privy to a little secret, folks. When you do that, you just wind up unnecessarily raising the price on yourself. Why? People will see your early bid and then place an early bid of their own. This process typically repeats until the product is at far too high of a price for anybody to actually stomach. So, I suggest that everybody who wants to save money engage in a little practice calling "sniping." It may seem a little dirty, but there's nothing immoral about it in the slightest.
What do you do? Instead of bidding on the item immediately, just keep your eye on the damn thing until about five minutes before the auction is ready to end. When this happens, bid until your heart is content. Even though the price will still go up sharply in the last five minutes thanks to several other people using this technique, it still tends to keep prices lower than they are when numerous people bid throughout the entire life of an auction.
The benefits of this practice are clearly reflected in the story of how I came across the DVD used for today's review. When I first found it a year or so ago, there were two auctions up for exactly the same item. They started at around the same time and otherwise appeared to be almost identical. The difference is that, for the first auction, somebody had started bidding two days after the auction started. The price rose and rose throughout the week, and the DVD ultimately wound up costing some poor schmuck $18. Meanwhile, the other auction had no bids. I didn't change this fact and just sat there until the final day. I placed one of three bids that were made in the last minute of the auction, and I walked away with the disc for only $6. I just don't understand why more people haven't figured this one out yet.
Of course, all of my efforts were for naught if the DVD that I purchased wasn't any good. Let's take a look and see whether that is the case.
Title: Total Carange Released By: FMW/TokyoPop Home Video Release Year: 2001 Run Time: 210 minutes (plus bonus footage) Found At: http://www.ebay.com Price: $6 (including shipping)
I've reviewed the American FMW releases a couple of times before, but here's a quick rundown of the concept for individuals who still may not be familiar with them: FMW was a Japanese wrestling organization that a lot of people credit with providing Paul Heyman the template off of which to build ECW. Though they were never as big as All Japan or New Japan, the promotion had a tremendous cult following in the Land of the Rising Sun. Early in the twenty-first century, anime distributors TokyoPop purchased the rights to distribute FMW footage in the United States, complete with English commentary. Though it appeared that the DVDs were starting to die out around 2002/2003, I've seen more and more of them popping up in record and electronics stores lately, which will not only lead to more opportunities to see this great company but will also lead to more opportunities to see the company very cheaply thanks to websites like eBay.
With all of that said, let's start the action.
Match Numero Uno: Mitsuhiro Matsunaga vs. Super Leather in a Nail Death Match (Highlights Only)
Unlike most of the matches on the show, I was unable to find a date for this one, though I'm assuming that it's from the mid-1990's like everything else on the compilation. The setup for the death match is pretty simple, as there are just two giant beds of nails sitting in the ringside area. Apparently whoever falls in to them first will lose.
The two men trade kicks to start, with Matsunaga's resembling some form of martial art and Super Leather's resembling shit. Matty kicks his man out to the apron and then suplexes him back in, so Leather decides that it's time to bring out the heavy artillery. He grabs a plank with about fifty nails sticking out of the end and slams it in to Matsunaga's stomach. Clipping ahead, Cpl. Krischner gets a suplex, and another clip leads us to some nail board shots to Matsunaga's head and back. Our next spot is a superplex from Leather, and then he legdrops the nail board down on to Double M. Leather then attempts to give Matsunanga a running powerbomb out to the floor, but the hometown hero slides out and manages to hit his opponent with the nail board. More clipping leads to more fighting, and eventually Leather knocks Matsunaga off of the apron and down on to the nail bed. That ends the match, but it doesn't end Leather's beatdown.
Match Numero Dos: Ricky Fuji & Hisakatsu Oya (c) vs. Yoshiaki Fujiwara & Daisuke Ikeda for the FMW Brass Knuckles Tag Team Championship
This match is coming to us from 9/5/1995. Those of you who have dabbled in puro but not gone very far may remember Fuji as FMW's representative in the 1994 Super J-Cup. Fujiwara is a veritable legend in Japan, best known in American for inventing the Fujiwara armbar. (Which, coincidentally, is NOT the same thing as a cross arm breaker. That's probably my biggest pet peeve in indy wrestling play-by-play.) Oya doesn't appear to have done much outside of FMW, while Ikeda is a Fujiwara trainee who, after runs in BattlARTS, All Japan, and NOAH has now been relegated to the Japanese independent circuit.
Oya and Fuji ambush their opponents, beating them down with planks and sending them in to the ringposts. Oya and Ikeda wind up in the ring trading punches, and then Fuji joins them for a belt shot. Eventually Oya gets out of the ring, leaving us with a Fuji/Ikeda pairing. There's some basic choking, and then Ikeda is tossed so that the bad guys can gouge at his forehead with a stick to draw some blood. Oya also uses a chair behind the referee's back, as Fujiwara inadvertently distracts the referee. Ikeda's not down, though, as he manages to get a tag as soon as he gets back in to the ring. Fujiwara takes down both of his opponents with headbutts and then looks for a vertical suplex on Oya. Oya blocks, so Fujiwara says "fuck it" and just takes him down to the Fujiwara armbar. Fuji breaks it up, but the old guy stays on top of the opposition until Oya gets a low blow. He tries for a Boston crab off of that, but Fujiwara turns it in to a bodyscissors takedown, allowing another tag by the babyfaces.
Ikeda looks like he's going to be hot at first, hitting some good kicks but ultimately getting taken down and copiously choked. A neckbreaker gets two for Oya, and then he goes to what almost looks like a crossface chicken wing. Ikeda reverses in to one of his own, but Ricky runs in to break that up. He then tags in to the match, and the heels set up a nice double team move in which a Fuji missile drop kick sends Ikeda flying in to an Oya suplex. Ikeda comes back out of nowhere, though, hitting more kicks and bringing Fujiwara back in for a piledriver. Rather going for the pin, he headbutts Fuji a few more times and lands a bodyslam. Oya tries to run to save, but he's taken down and put in the armbar. At this point it all breaks down, with all four men going at it. In the middle of the melee, Fuji tries to come off of the top rope and on to Fujiwara. It fails, though, as the legends grabs him and applies his signature armbar one more time. It gets the submission.
Match Thoughts: This worked fairly well for a non-formula tag team match. Instead of doing the traditional face in peril/hot tag combination, the babyfaces were portrayed as knowing when to get out of the ring and competent enough to get tags when they needed them. Instead of slowly building to one big pop as the traditional tag match does, it instead had a series of smaller (yet still substantial) pops, as the face would get in to just enough trouble for the crowd to catch on to his plight before making the tag. Further, the series of nearfalls/near submissions towards the end was excellent done at a fast pace. A couple of things did annoy me about the match though. First of all, in the early going, I could have done without a lot of the "let's stand around and choke our opponent" bits that Fuji and Oya seemed to be intent on working. If you're going to rest and save the energy for the finish, I'd prefer that you at least do it with a more interesting hold. Further, every time Ikeda wanted to make a tag, he'd just completely forget about selling his previous injuries, pop up, unload with some kicks, and casually saunter over to his corner. I could've used a bit more realism from the man. Despite the flaws, though, this was still an entertaining bout. If nothing else, you need to watch it for the beauty of Fujiwara's headbutts. **1/4
Match Numero Tres: Shark Tsuchiya, Bad Nurse Nakamura, & Miwa Sato vs. Megumi Kudo & Combat Toyoda in a Barbed Wire match
This is from the same 9/5/95 show as the previous match. We've got wire strung across the ropes on two sides of the ring. On the other two sides of the ring, barbed wire covered two-by-fours have been laid across the ring apron.
The smaller heels try for a double clothesline at the start, but the good guys duck them and go to work on the Shark. Sato and Nakamura quickly save, and we've got all five women pounding each other and teasing barbed wire shots. Kudo and Tsuchiya then go in to a sequence of suplex reversals in the center, which ends when Toyoda runs over and powerslams the Shark. Then it's back to the Shark/Kudo pairing taking center stage, as Tsuchiya hangs Kudo on the top rope and then drops her down on to one of the barbed wire planks. With Kudo down, it's easy for all three heels to grab Combat and throw her in to the barbed wire ropes. She rolls out of the ring, and then Shark goes back to work on Kudo, using the wire to slice open her forehead. Nakamura goes under the ring and gets a metal spike, which also finds it's way in to Kudo. She follows up by coming off the top rope with a knee to the back of Kudo's head, but it only gets two.
Kudo starts her comeback, blocking a double suplex from Nakamura and Tsuchiya and hitting a double DDT. Toyoda conveniently makes her way back in to the ring at that point, and the heels all eat the barbed wire ropes. A double team backdrop suplex on Shark is next, and then Kudo dropkicks a barbed wire board in to Tsuchiya's face. All four women brawl at this point, and it culminates in Shark getting a powerbomb on Toyoda. She tries to get the pin, but Kudo sneaks up from behind and applies a rear naked choke. Her partners eventually save, but Toyoda hits a BRUTAL powerbomb on Sato to take her out of the action. Nakamura vanishes as well, allowing the good girls to hit a Razor's Edge/top rope clothesline combo. They go for the pin after that, but Sato saves. Comat then goes for a frog splash on to Shark, who is laying on a barbed wire bed. Tsuchiya moves, though, and then she grabs a barbed wire bat. That lands a few shots on Kudo, and then she's clotheslined down on to the barbed wire board while Toyoda is choked with a chain. Pin attempt on Kudo . . . and a two count! Nakamura gets a kneelift in . . . and another two count! The Bad Nurse then tries for a crossface, but it won't draw a submission. Backdrop suplex by Tsuchiya . . . TWO!
Then, just when things look their bleakest, Toyoda hulks up and gets a backdrop suplex on Shark. She looks for the pin, but Sato saves with the bat. Shark and Combat fight over the weapon, allowing Megumi to sneak up behind Shark with a suplex for two. Kudo continues her hot streak with a Tiger Driver on Sato, but Shark is right there to prevent a pinfall. Discretion may have been the better part of valor for Tsuchiya, though, as breaking up the pin ultimately gets her caught in a Kudo Northern Light Suplex. Megumi bridges, and she gets three.
Match Thoughts: Watching this match, it's easy to see why Megumi Kudo was one of FMW's top babyface acts. She got booked to constantly be the underdog, and she generally overcame the odds after a valiant struggle. That story was told perfectly by this match. First of all, it was a handicap bout to begin with. Then, for the majority of the match, Kudo's stronger, more powerful partner had been taken out by the heels, opening her up to repeated three on one beatings. However, thanks to selective comebacks by Toyoda and the use of the barbed wire, it still wound up being totally believable that Kudo could defy such odds. The other thing that this match did very well was its use of the barbed wire. Generally I crap all over deathmatches because they're just a sick excuse for people to satisfy their blood lust and see others get hurt. However, this match did not take that approach. Instead, the wire was used sparingly for the match's biggest spots and transitions. The less is more approach meant that, when an individual did go in to the wire, it actually meant something as opposed to being just the latest derailment in a massive trainwreck. **1/2
To set up the next match, we see some backstage footage of Sato and Nakamura turning their backs on Tsuchiya. Instead of taking the traditional route and beating the crap out of her, they just say that they're done and then walk away. I don't know if that's how the angle leading up to the match actually went down, but it's the way that TokyoPop has chosen to edit together footage.
Match Numero Cuatro: Megumi Kudo & Shark Tsuchiya vs. Miwa Sato & Bad Nurse Nakamura (Joined in Progress)
This one is coming to us from Korakuen Hall (perhaps the largest venue FMW ran consistently), and took place on 9/26/05. When we join the action, Sato and Nakamura are beating Tsuchiya and Kudo down with a barbed wire Singapore cane. Shark then looks like she's going to make a comeback for the team, but she powerbombs Kudo instead. SWERVE~! Then, as Shark stands on the apron, Sato and Nakamura try to put Kudo away. They get several two counts on her, and Megumi gets a good hope spot with German suplex. A double team powerbomb is next from the heels, but Kduo is again out at two. A German suplex from Bad Nurse ends it rather quickly after that, though. Just because that wasn't quite enough, Kudo is chained down and doused in kerosene post match. Tsuchiya takes a swig of the liquid as well . . . and she blows a fireball down on to Kudo! That's always an impressive visual, but damn is it dangerous.
Match Numero Cinco: Super Leather vs. Mike Awesome
This is part of a round robin (or "league") tournament from 1995 that was done to crown a new FMW Brass Knuckles Champion. The American commentary puts it over as a semi-final match, though I can't confirm whether this was actually the case or whether it was just another match within the league pairings. My guess is that it's the latter. Either way, it should be noted that Awesome's mullet is just out of control at this point in his career.
Both men fail to take each other down with clotheslines and shoulderblocks in the early going, but Awesome eventually scores a lucky one and knocks his man out of the ring. Because that just wasn't good enough, he follows Leather out with a springboard clothesline to the floor and then wacks him with a chair. Gladiator throws his man back in to the ring and connects with a slingshot splash for two. He follows that up with a corner clothesline, after which the camel clutch is applied. Kirschner gets a break via the ropes, and he bails, only to have Awesome follow him. That results in more chairshots, and we're quickly back o the ring for another top rope clothesline from the Gladiator. Leather runs away yet again, though this time he manages to sucker Awesome in to a kick, after which That 70's Guy is posted and hit with a chair. Leather throws a dropkick off of the apron at that point, which is not something I would expect from him. When we get back in to the ring, Leather goes for a waistlock, only to have Awesome pull out the standing switch and hit a German suplex. A Warrior Warrior splash after that only gets two, and here we go to the floor again. Awesome somehow finds Leather's chainsaw and hits him over the head with it, as I wonder why he wouldn't just cut him with the blade. The future ECW Champion whips his man in to a table after that, and then he dead lifts the furniture and tosses it on to his opponent a couple of times. The table winds up back in the ring with the two wrestlers after that, and the b-movie wannabe is whipped in to it one more time. Awesome hits a Tiger Driver after that, but it can only get a two count . . . and a big frog splash won't put Leather away either. Frog splash number two also doesn't do the trick. Gladiator thinks that maybe the running Awesome Bomb will do it, but Leather slips out and clubs him in the back of the head with a lariat. Leather rolls out of the ring once more, and, when Awesome tries to follow him, he gets corked in the head with a nail-studded board. That draws blood, and Leather sets his man up on a ringside table and gives him a splash off of the ring apron. It doesn't break, so Supes slams his man through it to get the wood to snap. Back on the inside, an impressive stalling suplex from Leather hits, but it can't put Awesome away. A hangman's neckbreaker also fails, so we're going up to the top rope. Leather looks like he's going for a rana, but Michael low blows him a couple of times and then powerbombs him off of the top to get the victory.
Match Thoughts: I'm generally indifferent to Leatherface, so this match didn't do a hell of a lot for me. It really came off as an extended squash, with Awesome dominating the offense and Leather only getting in a few moves here and there which just looked so weak when compared to all of the Awesome Bombs and top rope maneuvers that Gladiator was pulling off. The one thing that could've put them on equal ground and made it look like Super Leather had a shot at winning would've been more use of weapons by the horror movie hero, but they chose not to go that route for whatever reason. (I can't believe I just advocated for more use of foreign objects in a professional wrestling match.) Anyway, this may have some novelty value to individuals who have never seen Mike Awesome hit his big spots before, but it was dull otherwise. 3/4*
Match Numero Seis: Mike Awesome vs. Hayabusa
This would be the final match in the aforementioned tournament, taking place on September 26, 1995. Both the American and the Japanese national anthems are played before the match, which is a nice touch. We trade armabars to start, and Hayabusa gets a nice takedown in to a hammerlock. Awesome manages to get back up to his feet, where he picks H's ankle and works a toehold. He makes a mistake by moving off of his vertical base, though, which allows Hayabusa to apply a headlock. He goes behind out of that a utilizes a drop toe hold, which leads in to an STF. Awesome quickly powers out of it and starts dropping boots and forearms on Hayabusa's arm before applying a hammerlock of his own. The arm is then snapped over the top rope, and Awesome starts taking a chair to the limb as well. Hayabusa retakes the advantage by reversing an Irish whip and dropkicking Awesome's knee, after which the limb is worked over with some kneedrops and a toehold. That eventually gets turned in to a single leg crab, though Awesome uses his upper body strength to crawl to the ropes. Hayabusa gets Gladiator back to center ring quickly, though, and there's the Indian Deathlock. Awesome makes the ropes one more time, but H keeps the advantage with a spinning heel kick and more leg work. The ropes are made yet again, so Hayabusa dropkicks his man in the corner and slams him to set up a shooting star press, which only gets a two count. The Japanese indy legend tries for a moonsault after that, but Awesome knocks him off the top and in to the crowd. Gladiator follows him out with a top rope cross body block, but that obviously does more damage to his bad leg. A HUGE lariat on the floor follows from Michael, and that allows him to take advantage back on the inside. Another massive lariat and a splash only result in a two count, and the crowd is seriously starting to get in to this.
Awesome comes off the top with another clothesline, and then he dumps his man gut first over the top rope. A running clothesline in the corner also can't put Hayabusa away, so Awesome places him up on the top rope. H headbutts him off and then comes off the ropes with a missile dropkick to Awesome's bad leg. The Running Awesome Bomb is attempted immediately after that, but an escape and another dropkick to the knee forces Awesome to the outside, where he's hit with a plancha. Hayabusa slingshots back in to the ring with a spinning heel kick on his man, and then he hits a powerbomb of his own. A German suplex also connects, but it can only get a two count. The frankensteiner is next, and it sets up an attempt at a slingshot version of the move. Awesome blocks that and hits a powerbomb, though, and a second version of the bomb leads to the frog splash for a nearfall. Gladiator tries it one more time, but Hayabusa gets up and cuts him off. Awesome cuts off the cut off, and the crowd goes crazy because they think it might lead in to a top rope Awesome Bomb. Hayabusa fights back and hits a superplex, though, after which he gets in the moonsault press for two. Awesome is placed on the top rope one more time, and this time it actually is turned in to the top rope Awesome Bomb, which nets Michael a three count and the championship. We get a handshake and a hug after the bell.
Match Thoughts: This one went pretty well, with both men pulling out some of their biggest moves and even hitting several variations on said moves, which did a fine job of putting over the fact that this battle was for something more important than a garden variety win. The psychology used in the bout seemed a little odd to me, though, and this keeps it from getting a perfect rating. On one hand, Hayabusa did come in to the match with his shoulder taped up, so it made sense that Awesome was working over the arm throughout the early portion of the match. However, it seems like this game plan was completely abandoned halfway through the contest, and said abandonment was done for no good reason. You can make an argument that the arm work would help soften up the shoulder for a powerbomb, but that's not exactly standard wrestling strategy. For Hayabusa's part, he did a great job of dismantling Awesome's leg, the purpose of which was twofold: it both brought the larger man down to the mat and should have prevented him from hitting his big springboard moves or powerbombs. At least that's the theory. In reality, it seemed like Awesome ignored his supposed injury far too much. He would grip it in pain and fall down when H attacked the limb, but there were far too many instances in which he put weight on his knee without any sort of difficulty. It really took me out of the match at a couple of different points. However, on the whole, this was a quality encounter. I particularly liked the finish, where Awesome outplayed aerial expert Hayabusa at his own game, reversing a top rope move for the win. It really put the Gladiator over strong, which is exactly what you need to do when establishing a new champion. **1/4
DVD Bonus Features
Though it's not the best set I've ever seen, TokyoPop did a pretty good job with the special features here. There's an additional match (reviewed below), mini-bios on FMW stars, a text history of the promotion, and a four minute video package of Hayabusa highlights. Overall, everything included does a good job of imparting some extra information to individuals who otherwise wouldn't know much about the promotion.
Bonus Match Numero Uno: Mitsuhiro Matsuanga vs. Horace Boulder
Matsuanage runs out to the ring with his body wrapped in barbed wire, and he immediately avalanches Boulder, after which he headbutts him with a barbed wire halo. Chairshots to the Hulkster's nephew follow, and we walk up in to the stands, where nothing of note happens. When the competitors get back to the ring, Horace is kicked and splashed, though he starts to come back with some forearms. He hits a double sledge off of the ring apron when Matsuanaga rolls to the outside, and a few chairshots by the American dig Matsunaga's own barbed wire in to his back. A table shot from Boulder also connects, as does a powerslam back on the inside. Boulder tosses a table in to the squared circle after that, and it gets shattered over Matsunaga's head for a two count. The Japanese man responds by grabbing a piece of the table and wacking his opponnet over the head with it. He then places Boulder on the remnants of the table's metal frame and splashes him off of the top rope for a two count. After a bit of clipping, Horace heads up to the top, only to get hit in the head a few times with a barbed wire baseball bat. Matsunaga then beals him off the top rope and down on to said bat. Now comes the world's coolest submission hold, as Mitsuhiro grapevines Boulder's legs as though he's going for a sharpshooter . . . except the barbed wire bat is stuck in between Horace's thighs! It looks like Matsunaga is about to have a W added to his record, but there's a run in by Bad Boy Hido. At this point, Boulder gets a heavy metal something-or-other and dumps it on top of Matsunaga for a two count . . . though that only gets two. A lariat from Horace gets the job done seconds later.
A post-match beatdown on Matsunaga sees Super Leather's nail board being dropped on to his back several times.
Match Thoughts: This one was clipped up a good deal, so I don't feel all that comfortable giving it a rating. Though it didn't look like a great match, the novelty of seeing a guy wrestle with barbed wire wrapped around his shirtless body would be more than worth it to a lot of fans. That, in concert with Matsunaga's sick mind, lead to some quite innovative spots that kept this one entertaining even for an individual who doesn't care much for weapons being used frequently in wrestling matches. Seeing Matsunaga here and hearing stories about all the other really crazy hardcore stuff he's done makes me want to track down a bit more of his work.
Final Thoughts
Number of Matches: 4 Highest Star Rating: **1/4 Lowest Star Rating: 3/4* Average Star Rating: ** (ratable matches only)
I've always been impressed with the FMW DVD series, and this entry was no exception. Three of the matches here went over **, which is very rare when I review something. Even the matches that weren't too great or clipped down a good deal were worth watching just because the FMW style is so different than anything that's ever been seen in America. Hell, there haven't even been that many similar promotions in Japan. The only down side to this DVD as opposed to others in the series is that the other editions combine great angles and storytelling with the straight professional wrestling. Though there is a bit of "sports entertainment" here with the Kudo/Tsuchiya story, it's pretty run of the mill and fails to stand out from the pack in any way. So, while I would probably pick FMW's Yokohama Deathmatch over Total Caranage, TC is still definitely worth a look.
