WRestling’s 3R’s 04.14.06: King of the Ring Returns, Double Impact, Trishy James, Masters is Stupid and More!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 04.14.2006
Last night’s Impact included!
The 3R's of wRestling!
Welcome one and all to this week's installment of wRestling's 3R's! I am back as always to break down the week that was in wrestling, along side my 3R's tag team partner Geoff! Just so you know, from now on the R's will be a little late. With Impact moving to Thursdays, I am going to include them in the Friday column, so I will need some time to get that together, but will have the column done by 2am instead of Midnight. Thought I would let you know, because I know you guys are creatures of habit and are used to it being ready before or right at Midnight. So now you know, the sacrifices I make for you!
Here is a quick explanation of the 3 R's. I will take the 3 main shows (4 if there is a PPV, 5 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, and WWE Smackdown. I then group my feelings on the shows in 3 categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 4th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad.
SmackDown!:
Here is my partner in crime, the man that always shares a piece of his mind and is known as the Whole F'n Show, he is Geoff Eubanks!
Smackdown 04.07.06:
The Right:
As the sign on RAW said, HUCK FATERS! – Of course that sign was created in support for misunderstood and abused John Cena (I honestly don't see what he's done to warrant such aggression, other than his shaky work rate, but if a single Cena hater ever identified themselves as a Hulkamaniac, I'd like to invite them to kindly go fuck themselves in their hypocritical assholes, but I digress). Over here on the blue and silver side of things, our new champion, Rey Mysterio, has his share of critics who doubt a man of his meager size deserves to be a heavyweight champion. Hopefully, though, Rey's first WT defense against WWE's least employed employee Randy Orton here tonight will go a long way to allay such doubts, as we had an absolutely phenomenal contest. In fact, I'm going to nominate this match as SD!'s first free TV MOTY candidate. Yup. I loved it that much. No overbooking, no run-ins, no ref bump, no short-changing on time as we so often get on WWE TV. No, this was pro wrestling the way it should be; character-based, action-focused and solidly psychologically driven from start to finish.
This was a beautiful example of two men telling the ever-elusive story in the ring. Orton's strategy should have been and, for the most part, was to ground Rey and wear him down with the headlock, to not take any chances and to disallow Rey the opportunity to fly. However, despite refocusing several times after Rey managed to create a few fast breaks for himself, we saw Orton's in-ring Achille's heel shine brightly and cost him the match, when his own impetuosity and impatience got the better of him and he rushed The RKO, allowing Rey to counter and take the match home with the dual 619s and The Drop On The Dime. Orton's solid psychology helped elevate this match (I loved the expression on his face that said, "Oh, you're PUSHING me, short shit?" after he shoved Rey before the match got under way), and the chemistry these two have was readily evident (that amazing Orton dropkick spot-on to Rey's jaw in mid-slingshot springboard was absolutely fantastic!). The crowd was completely into this (rightfully so), solidly behind Rey, a "Fuck him up, Rey Rey, fuck him up! " chant going up early (although I'd be remiss if I neglected to mention a small but noticeable "OR-ton! OR-ton!" chant at one point, as well, which was quickly overpowered by a chant for Rey).
As for Rey trotting out the family, , well, I personally am not as stoked about that, but it does go a long way toward making Rey THE single most politically correct champion since Hogan. Family man (even if he IS raising Eddie Guerrero's bastard son…see, Vince, how your bullshit over-the-top soap opera stories fuck up posterity…?) and Latin-American during the most revolutionary grass roots immigration movement in our country's history; Rey could be poised to become one of the most prolific and entertaining champions of the modern age. GO REY!!!
All that and MNM defending against Kendrick & London?! - Yep, the WWETTTs were actually defended on TV, against the single most underutilized and under appreciated tag team in WWE (well, of the three of them…hahaha). And a damn good match it was, predictably enough, but not totally balls to the wall, implying that there could actually be a continuation here between the two teams! I don't even care if the titles switch hands, as long as these four men are allowed to just let it all hang out and go for it in a series of matches the quality I know they're able to provide. Oh, and Melina, that was a SWEET kick to the head, you vicious bitch!
YES! KING OF THE RING is BACK, bitches! – The manner in which some love WrestleMania, the Royal Rumble match and the traditional Survivor Series team matches, I love the KOTR tournament. I dig the speculation beforehand and I think I have this one completely sussed out this year:
FIRST ROUND – Kurt Angle versus Randy Orton, the winner of which to meet the winner of Booker T versus Matt Hardy; Chris Benoit versus Finlay, the winner of which to meet the winner of Lashley versus Mark Henry.
SECOND ROUND – Kurt Angle versus Booker T, the winner of which to meet the winner of Finlay and Lashley.
FINAL ROUND – Booker T versus Lashley.
Okay, so Orton obviously has as much a chance of winning this tourney as I do, so Angle going over is assured (And how about that Angle slap across Orton's face?! How many people Orton's pissed off do you think felt a little vindicated watching that?). Booker has a hell of a lot more momentum right now than Hardy (which is a bombastic waste of Hardy's talent, but that's another rant for another time), so Booker moving on is pretty elementary, too. Chris Benoit will likely be put out by way of some kind of tomfoolery from JBL to help advance their program around the UST and it would really behoove Lashley to go over another big man like Big Drippy, which would allow for the Finley/Lashley feud to write another chapter here in the tourney, and there's nothing wRong with that. Booker will cheat like a mofo to go over Angle (incidentally, anyone think it's going to be mentioned that Angle has already been KOTR in 2000…?) and Lashley will finally get the clean victory over Finlay to send him to the Finals, where Booker will, once again, go over to become…are you ready for this…ROYAL T.
Now, I understand that Lashley would be much better served to win this tourney, but this could all figure in with the budding Booker versus Teddy Long feud we're seeing develop (more on that in a moment), plus, the clean victory for Lashley over Finlay would end that program and start one between Lashley and Booker, which would help to elevate the rookie big time. Or Mark Henry could take it. Anything can happen in…oh, I just can't say that with any ounce of sincerity anymore.
The jobber match done Right – This is just what I was talking about last week with regard to proper jobber match booking. There are ways to simply fill TV time, as we saw last week, and then there are ways to plant seeds and further stories. Take Booker T's loss to noob Gunnar Scott, for example. Booker is pissed at Teddy Long for forcing him to face Our Smiley at WM, a match he lost and saw his wife get a night crawler-infested French kiss (and I hope Sharmell got paid by the worm on that deal), encouraging Booker to procure a restraining order against Smiley, preventing him from coming within 100 feet of The Ts, else he be hauled off to the slammer. This is some brilliant booking, really, because it wraps up the nonsense of Our Smiley while he's off rehabbing his separated shoulder, no doubt resulting from those :45, five star Flair-inspired classics with which he's been burning up the SD! house show circuit, while still remaining consistent with respect to the derision growing between Booker and Peanut, even adding fuel to the fire, such that Long purposefully cued Smiley's music and entrance fanfare during Booker's match, cracking his concentration enough such that Scott gets a sweet roll-up pin over the veteran his first night on the show. Now, THIS is the quality of booking such a talented and entertaining pair as The T's deserve and I, for one, am completely stoked on the possibilities inherent in this burgeoning war!
I'll be damned, way to go, Drippy! – Damn, straight up, that was the promo of a lifetime from Mark Henry tonight. It was solid, consistent and carried the story over from WM to the debut of Giant Singh (granted, that's basically tantamount to Ric Flair giving a rhapsodizing introduction for a returning Marcus Bagwell, but…). We can discuss in more detail Singh in a moment…oh, yes we will…but this, taken alone and as it is, was a quality of delivery I never expected from Big Drippy. You know, with WWE rehiring its cast-offs based upon their size, it wouldn't surprise me at all to see Henry re-signed (at a greatly reduced rate) when his contract comes due this summer.
The wRong:
Oh, have I got next week's headline for this story already planned! – Okay, look. I'm pleased that Paul Burchill is getting over, because I truly believe he's a solid and reliable talent most definitely worthy of a push. I'll even go along with the whole comedy angle of the Burchill/William Regal break up because Regal is absolutely unparalleled in the wrestling/comedy arena and it's keeping the both of them on TV, which pleases me. I simply 1) wish the matches were allowed to be longer and more rugged, and 2) can't help but to admire the psychological symbiosis existing between the two and can't help but imagine what a WWETTT angle involving them and MNM could have been.
And I gotta give Tazz props for two things he said during this match. "Burchill has yet to give you a pearl necklace" to Cole Slaw (although I bet that's coming soon..baDUMbum), and, after Regal lost to Burchill's Shiver Me Timbers, signifying that he must dress as a "buxom pirate wench", "Cover your nipples, Regal, I don't wanna see any areolas!" I laughed so hard, milk came out my nose, and I was drinking vodka.
Wow, who saw any of THAT coming?! – As fun a situation as the Burchill/Regal situation is going to be next week, and as phenomenal as the Rey/Orton match was, considering the fact that we were either going to see Burchill in a suit or Regal in drag, who do you think was going to go over there? And I understand that not everyone is aware of Orton's impending suspension (effective by the time you'll be reading this), WWE DID announce the news over their new wireless service, so this wasn't exactly kept a secret, thus, one could certainly surmise the outcome of Rey's first WT defense, any other circumstances notwithstanding. Therefore, how much tension was knocked out of these matches as a result?
The Ridiculous:
Remember the Pegasus Kid…? – I do. He was a vastly amazing worker, a hybrid of solid, gritty Canadian wrestling and the precise, fluid style of the Japanese. Of course, I'm talking about Chris Benoit. I bring this up because I've noticed a disturbing trend in his regard lately of his matches having a hell of a cookie-cutter quality to them, and I have no idea why. Benoit is an IWC god and for good reason….he's the kind of wrestler of whom can be spoken in the same breath as Kurt Angle, Ric Flair and (an in his prime) Bret Hart and what we've been given lately is a sublime waste of talent. Did we learn nothing from Eddie Guerrero? DON'T TAKE YOUR TALENT FOR GRANTED! Hopefully, this upsetting trend will be remedied next week when JBL returns to further his program with Benoit over the UST, one for which I have great hopes. Benoit is always booked better in the chase than as the champion (and what the fuck is up with THAT?!), and JBL, being the pompous, frog-mouthed, self-righteous, might-makes-right, blowhard Republican, a walking/talking caricature of the asshole currently in office, as the USC has some truly entertaining prospects.
Mark Calloway, this is your life! – While Taker/Drippy was kept mercifully short, and thus was actually watchable, what the HELL was that thing Daivari led to the ring? You know, the behemoth with Kurrgan's body, Edge's chin and Chyna's (pre-op) face (proof of one HELL of an ugly Attitude-era three-way, no doubt orchestrated by Russo, the REAL reason he suddenly found God)?! Taker's wearing new form-fitting tights (and thanks for THAT, Take), displaying the fact that he's in better shape now than he was a decade ago, and yet here he is back stuck trying to put over Giant Gonzales '06. I'm not a huge Taker mark (ha…now there's a pun!), but I've always respected him and felt badly for him, when one of the most consistently over characters in the company's history was relegated to putting over the equivalent of George Steele, The Missing Link and Umaga. It seems for every two steps McMahonagement takes forward, they poo in their pants.
The Legend Killer kills himself – Well, this is just a tragedy in my book, especially if McMahonagement is truly considering letting Randy Orton go at the end of this indefinite suspension. I think I appreciate more than most the little idiosyncrasies Orton brings to the ring in his performances, and, as such, I think I see this as being more a damaging blow to the company than most. Looking at the big picture, SD! really can't afford to lose another performer, especially a main-eventer like Orton, someone young with the bulk and best of his career ahead of him.
However, for someone who's such an unapologetic and flagrant behavioral problem backstage, what is one to do? I'd like to say that WWE caused the current trouble they have with Orton by giving him so much so early, and don't get me wRong, I most definitely believe that contributed in a big way, but Orton was dishonorably discharged from the Marines after having gone missing twice (once for 82 days, qualifying him as a deserter). It would seem Orton is simply someone who thinks he has the ability to write his own ticket, and felt such long before he saw the inside of a WWE ring. The preferential treatment certainly couldn't have helped the situation, though.
Is anyone drawing a parallel, by the way, between the two most recent youngest WWE champions in Orton and Brock Lesnar? It seems to me that, had Vince not enjoying his slip-n-slide down the waterslide of lunacy, avarice and megalomania, he might have been cultivating new talent in his own farm leagues (and then not setting them up to fail once they're brought up ) and, more importantly, not bought his competition out from under itself, as they could do the hard part for him, in discovering and getting over new talent he could always buy out once their contracts came due.
In Orton's defense, I think any WWE performer who didn't refer to those diva search bimbos as cunts to their faces deserve raises and a title run. These are people who have devoted their entire lives to their craft, who miss their children's first steps and words, birthdays and anniversaries, and for these whores to just come into WWE, giggle around for Vince and be handed a larger payday than the Women's Champion then stick around long enough to do Playboy and bail out while taking valuable TV time away from those who've made wrestling their profession and lifestyle, I'm surprised more such incidents don't occur. Pooing in a bag, though…that's quite a bit much. What I want to know is where was JBL's wrestling court in Orton's regard? Too bad Bob Holly's injured; he'd have just blackened Orton's eye for him with a steel chair at a house show and bippity-boppity-boo, problem solved.
Seriously, though, I hope Orton can pull his head out of his ass and realize that he's been allowed to sit at the grown-up Thanksgiving dinner table and return to be the kind of champion WWE needs him to be, because there's too much talent there too young to be allowed to go to waste.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
iMpact!:
impact 04.08.06:
The Right:
Shelley = Xcitement! - The three way X Match for the last slot on the US X Team was a really good match. Chase Stevens did really well for himself in singles action, and it was great to have Strong back, who also did a great job. This was a really tight, and fun three way match to have on the show as they all worked so well together. They have done a really good job of building and placing guys that need a good showing on the X Team. Having guys that aren't Joe, Daniels and AJ on the team will give them a chance to prove themselves and to help them get over. Shelley as a part of this team was a needed addition. He has the most defined and well-developed character out of the 4 men, and having a heel presence will make for interesting interaction on the team. Shelley have had the chance to get his character over through his video deals, and now he will get the chance to get himself over in the ring.
The Sting vs. JJ Saga, and Steiner is still a bad , bad man! - The Sting vs. JJ saga is still continuing on as they build to Lockdown. First we had JJ, AMW and Steiner lay waste to some more jabronis, and thankfully this time they WERE jabronis in Smiley and Sharky. Those guys are over in a cult like way, so they'll be fine with taking the beating. The team has been made to look dominant, which they need to appear. Finally at the end of the show Sting was in the house and delivered another good promo. He challenged JJ to a match on Impact next week, and as Team JJ came out Sting was flanked by the baby faces again, led by AJ, Killings and Rhino who are likely to be his team. This was a good segment and they are really trying to get all they can out of Sting. We'll see how a match with him draws next week, and how the PPV does with the "War Games" like match.
AJ vs. Abyss, Cage is Pissed - AJ vs. Abyss was a nice treat this week. Sure it was a bit short, and there was a lack of a definitive finish, but in this instance I think that is was fine. AJ is going to be on Team Sting and can't lose right now, especially since he lost on the last PPV. Abyss is challenging for the NWA title and he cannot job before the show, as he needs to continue to look dominant and like a killing machine. They had a really strong TV match, something that the show has been lacking for a few weeks. They did really well and I enjoyed the match. As I said the non-finish was fine, and Cage's redemption was good as he beat down Abyss with the tire iron. He cut a very short, yet emotionally charged promo on Abyss with a great closer, "For what you did to my wife and embarrassed me, in 6-sides of unforgiving steel…are you prepared to die? Because I am!" Good stuff here, and a nice change from what we had been getting.
The wRong:
Arm Wrestling - Do I really need to go into a long explanation here? We are building to a PPV Arm Wrestling…INSIDE A SIX-SIDED CAGE…between a guy that is nearly a cripple, and Bob Armstrong. I know that this is being used as a catalyst for the LAX vs. James Gang feud, and allowed the debut of Hernandez, and that is all well and good. But this is just so bland and boring, and I don't know of anyone buying the PPV to see this "match" and to see this feud. BLAH!
Deadly-vile vs. Canada You know what I hate, the fact that Ray has been giving damn good promos for this feud, but they have the worst message. The motivation here should be that they hate Team Canada because they have constantly beat their ass, robbed them of the titles and humiliated them. That's all you need to focus on. That is all the heat you need and that's what they have. The fans will chant USA because that's what fans have done for years. What I don't get is the whole, "let's bash Canada as a 2nd rate country." Why? Why piss off and alienate an entire fan base? Why focus on the cheap heat instead of the real heat that is there. Ray's promo ability is really good, and I hate that he feels that he needs to resort to that. Keep on point dude, your shit is working.
The Ridiculous:
Cage's Look - You know I try not to harp on this too much, but sometimes I feel that I need too. I know that TNA is an alternative and Cage is supposed to be "hip" and all, but for the love of God, dress like a fucking champion dude! You make me think that someone is coming out of the crowd when you do a run in, and that's just pathetic. Go back to the feud with Monty Brown, Monty looked like a million bucks with his cool shirts and expensive looking slacks. While cage looked like a fan that got pulled from the crowd and got his ass beat. I am not saying that he has to dress like Flair or HHH, not at all. He can be current and cool, but drop the salvation army look dude, you the NW FN A Champion, act like it. Things like this are why people don't take him seriously as champion.
Holy Tan Borash! - Seriously, how grossly tanned was JB this past week. Normally I wouldn't say too much, but it was rather disturbing to see. Also, having an interviewer so over-tanned makes pasty guys like Ray Deadly look horrible in comparison. Never have your out of ring talent look more healthy than your in ring talent, that is just a very bad thing. And JB, I hope that was spray on over a good tan, because if that is all tanning bed, cancer's calling!
RAW !:
Raw 04.10.06:
The Right:
Opening up the show big: Part II - As much as I tend to hate the long interview segments to open Raw at times, the last two weeks I have enjoyed them quite a bit. Edge got to kick us off this week, and he did well. I have been enjoying his mic work for the most part, and he definitely got the crowd going against him. Cena then came out and got much more of a face reaction this week. He and Edge had some great back and forth, and then HHH appeared. By the way, I LOVE the new theme and wish he would keep it permanently. HHH dropping the "old man" line in regards to Vince was also quite hilarious. I also loved that HHH tried to offer his hand, and Cena would have none of it. That was a nice bitch slap, and HHH's reaction was priceless, like, "Guess you knew what would have happened." Cena also was really good as he almost teased some heel stuff, but stayed on point with some really good mic work.
Trish James and Mickie Stratus? TREMENDOUS~! - This was absolutely great. I have loved this storyline for a long time, and this was a natural evolution. Trish has lost her title, and now she feels that the only way to combat Mickie is with the same psychological warfare that aided her in winning the title. And I agree with Dunn, I am not sure what turns me on more, Trish dressed like Mickie or Mickie dressed like Trish. All I know is that anything that gets Trish wearing a thong is A OK with me!
Money in the Bank vs. The IC Title - Well this is an interesting move. I was wondering where booking would take these two men. RVD needs something to keep him occupied until he cashes in the Money in the Bank, and with Flair paired with Umaga, Shelton was left with no opponents. This has a chance to be a good match, or a shitty one there is NO middle ground. If the title and the MITB are both on the line, RVD has to win because Shelton with the MITB isn't that exciting to most. RVD still has the cult ECW following, and gets a great reaction from WWE crowds. The smart move is to have him keep MITB and then with the IC Title. He can later lose it with only that on the line, and retain his MITB rights. One last thing, for the love of God keep them both off the mic.
The wRong:
Masters continues to look the fool - You know, I have said this before and I will say it again. I understand that they want to push Masters and Carlito but you cannot cut the nuts off of one to help the other. Leading into WrestleMania, Carlito and Masters were made to look like fools. Well, this continued this past Monday. They are making Masters look like the stupidest man in all of wrestling. And the worst part is that they are booking like Carlito is the heel. So we are looking at a STUPID babyface Masters. All the better. SARCASM~!~!OMGWTF! I just do not get it at all to be honest with you; maybe they have some grand plan that I am missing.
The Ridiculous:
Shelton still needs work - No sugar coating, Shelton was just painful to listen to on commentary this week. He was talking way too fast, stumbling over words and didn't put himself across very well at all. The week before WrestleMania was apparently a fluke, because Shelton can never string back-to-back vocal performances together. He may be amazing at times in the ring, but if he doesn't work on his talking he'll stay right where he is and probably not go any farther. They may really want to consider a full time manager for him until he can learn to speak for himself. He has done it before; it just needs to be consistent.
Kane's Voices? - Maybe I should have seen this coming. I knew that his movie was coming out, I knew it was a horror movie, and I knew that they would do everything possible to try and market them together in an effort to make money, theoretically. But in all honesty it came off as campy and well, stupid as shit. We're supposed to believe that all of the sudden that Kane is hearing voices that are making him snap, and that we are hearing them as well? This is shit like the Undertaker and the crap games on Orton, which was a play off of even worse shit with Warrior in WCW. Maybe the Spirit Squad is bringing back bad memories of Katie Vick? Don't drop the soap boys. An we just burn his face, get him his mask, a tan, back into the gym and let him be cool again?
Ok, all joking aside, this went too far I think - I have officially decided to not discuss this. In all honesty I think they crossed a line this week, and I am not cool with that. This column is about wrestling and my opinions on it. I tried to joke about it last week, but as a Christian, I can't do that anymore. This column is not an outlet for my Christian beliefs, and I wouldn't subject you, my readers, to my Theological ramblings. Let's just say I disagree with what was done in a house of God on Monday, and Vince is going to hell.
impact 04.13.06:
The Right:
Joe vs. Daniels/The Lyger Explanation - To begin with I LOVED that they joined the match in progress. Joining it in progress with Daniels getting busted open and brutalized was THE perfect way to try and capitalize on the UFC lead in. The match itself was damn good as these guys work very well together. It was constant action, brutal and stuff that you couldn't take your eyes off of. They pulled out all the stops for this TV match, including Joe busting out a TOP ROPE ISLAND DRIVER! Plus you gave the new people tuning in and all the loyal fans a title change, and that adds importance to the match, the guys and the show as a whole and could really make people want to watch more.
During the match they also explained that Daniels would not be facing Lyger at Lockdown. They said that the, "Captain of New Japan's X Cup Team" was pulled by New Japan officials. The reason was that they protested the steel cage stipulation. Considering what all happened, I think that this was the best way to go about this. It adds heel heat to Lyger when he returns, as he and Team Japan will look like cowards. Good recovery of a bad situation.
Sting's TV Return and A Little Debut - I laugh at some people. "Why do they keep pushing Sting's first TV match in 5-years like it is so big?" Well, it is to some. And if you have to ask why, they you don't understand anything. What do you want TNA to do?
Welcome to Impact! Tonight we have a Christian Cage interview, an X Title match and…oh yeah, that Sting guy will wrestle.
They brought him in at a high cost and should hype him. Some people really care about Sting and will want to see him. Anyway, this was good stuff. Basically an extended squash, but Eric Young was awesome. Sting looks to be in good shape and at the end of the match they also hyped the Lethal Lockdown match by revealing AJ, Rhino and Killings as Sting's partners. Good work here.
Not only did we have Sting's return to TV, but also we got a "little" surprise. After weeks of speculation on my part, the former Spike Dudley debuted for TNA to help even the odds in the Team Canada vs. Team 3D feud. With Tenay actually calling his finisher the "Acid Drop" I feel that they will go back to his "LSD" initials, and I hope that they call him Little Scott Deadly, just because I have been hyping that name.
Better Format - People that have read the 3R's for close to 2-years will know that I often bitch about Impact's format, ESPECIALLY when they have that damn 5-match format. I like that they went to three matches and gave them all good time. They still got storylines across through the matches and taped stuff with Cage, which was well done and needed to be done. Overall one of the better balanced and formatted Impacts in a long time. As always I could do without all of the commercials, but they have no choice in that so I will have to accept it I suppose.
The ending video package was also really good and a great way to close the show. I almost wish that they could give the packages another minute or two so they could splice in short interviews ala ECW, but these will do.
The wRong:
Nothing of Note
The Ridiculous:
Street Fight… - Was I the only one that was extremely confused by the Street Fight. A street fight has no rules, correct? Thought so. Why did they have them do regular tag rules half way through? Their should be wild action and ass kicking constantly, not tagging! So now that we agree there, we have another issue. If this is a street fight, how do we have no finish? It just lacks logic and continuity with their own stipulation. If you are going to make a stipulation, try and be honest with it. This was half assed and came across bad to me at the end.
READER RANT TIME~!
From TG with thoughts on various topics -
I personally am not offended by God at Backlash, I am just finding it very hard to keep supporting Vince's booking decisions. Having God in the tag team match almost assures Shawn Michaels a win, unless he takes the pinfall himself which would be career damaging. Personally, I just can't imagine God doing the JOB to a 60 year old and a non-wrestler. That doesn't make sense unless they're going for a swerve angle where God gets himself pinned deliberately just so that he can seek redemption on the McMahon's. Or maybe they intend on turning God heel, and having him side with the McMahon's, thus assuring Raw becomes even more dominating over Smackdown and TNA. It would obviously make sense to keep God on Raw after the feud, but to be honest Smackdown could use a Main Event caliber heel on its show, especially since Eddie's passing and Orton's firi-I mean, suspension. Jesus Christ (no pun intended), why not ask the almighty to bring Eddie back to life for us? That would fix a huge dent AND it could make for some great heel heat if he were to cost Lashley the KOTR final against Booker T (that's the result I'm going for by the way, regardless of an Eddie resurrection storyline). Bobby is still so green, he could do with a lengthy feud against Guerrero with God in his corner doing all he can to make sure old Lashers doesn't get the 1-2-3 over Latino Heat. That could get Lashley over big time.
To be honest, with the introduction of Umaga and Dalip Singh to the WWE rosters this last week, I am cynically but realistically seeing this entire God angle as just another way for Vince to play out his well-known 'Big-man' fetish. He failed with Mark Henry, he failed with Kurgan, he was failed by Brock Lesnar and he will be failed by Umaga and Singh down the line, so he needs this back-up clause to get his motor running. In fairness, I'd estimate that God probably could pick up the Big Show for a couple of seconds. I haven't seen God before, but I would wager that he is ripped as fuck, so it should certainly be a showcase match, if not a workrate classic. And everybody will mark out once Vinnie and Shane O' get their comeuppance. But with everything the way it is in the WWE at the moment, I would still have much rather seen an up-and-comer taker God's place in the match - somebody like Brent Albright could have done well and got a serious push from this match, and I'm just not certain God really needs that kind of credibility bestowed on him because he's pretty well respected as it is.
So it's all good and well looking for the positives of a God run in the WWE, but let's not forget - nothing is set in stone at this point. God has only verbally agreed at an informal meeting to participate in the match, and he has a lot of offers coming from places such as New Japan and Ring Of Honor - Hell (again, no pun intended), TNA should give him a call, I'm sure he'd love to get some experience in the technical side of the sport - provided they can pay him enough for the privilege. So if he does fight at Backlash, let's hope they keep it short, giving HBK and God the victory that the fans CLEARLY crave, and if worst comes to the worst and God doesn't show up, they can just dress Vito up in a white quilt cover and give him a crucifix (although let's hope it wouldn't be perceived the wrong way and Vito ends up looking like a member of the KKK - that would be embarrassing).
Nate is curious about my Match Ratings -
I've been meaning to ask this for a while, but always forget. Why do you give certain matches a N-R rating? Most of them I understand, like pillow fights and such, but I remember seeing in a 15 minute match given the same rating. So, just wondering what your terms on rating matches is.
Well, a (N-R) from me is the same as a "DUD" from most reviewers. The long match you are referring is probably Lex Luger vs. Yoko from WM X, a dud especially considered it was basically a Co-Main Event..
And to close us out, long time contributor Dr. Zaius is back to discuss Tag team Wrestling -
With the Spirit Squad as the tag champs, why not do a WrestleMania extension and make a stable called the Freakshow. Golddust is the leader with Snitsky, Eugene, Val and Viscera. Backlash can feature a 10-man tag match leading to the Squad defending against Val/Vis and Dust/Snitsky. Then they can bring back Palumbo and O-Haire and reunite Murdoch and Cade and suddenly you have the making a tag division again.
I am trying not to get my hopes up, but yeah, they COULD actually have a tag division if they tried. We can hope.
Thanks for joining me, as well as my tag team partner Geoff (yostankmama@hotmail.com) this week. Please keep the feedback coming and tell us what you like, what you didn't and feel free to give us some of your 3 R's. Seriously, we want to hear what YOU HAVE TO SAY! I will gladly post them in the next edition. Until next week, for Geoff I am Larry Csonka and we are out!
