Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People 04.27.06: PWE Pirate TV
Posted by Ryan Byers on 04.27.2006
It's got nothing to do with Paul Burchill but has everything to do with putting quality free wrestling on the internet.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. Those of you who are sick of reading about Chikara are in luck, as I've wrapped up that series and will be moving on to newer pastures this week. However, I would just like to note that if you're interested in previewing the Tag World Grand Prix beyond my general comments, Episodes Five and Six of Chikara's brand new video podcast feature highlights of first round matches from the tournament, including Team DDT murdering Sal and Vito Thomaselli.
With that said, let's take alook at what I've dug up this week.
Cheap Wrestling Tip #36: Pro Wrestling Evolution Pirate TV
Yes, it's back to the wonderful world of indy internet TV! You know, normally when I think of Southern independent wrestling in the year 2006, I think of shows that look like they've just emerged from the business end of a time warp. It's a world where "Bullet" Bob Armstrong is in the main events, where the Rock n' Roll Express holds numerous Tag Team Championships, and where the name "Fuller" still means something to wrestling fans. Pro Wrestling Evolution is attempting to change all of that. Based out of Northern Georgia, the indy group is apparently trying to bring more of an "east coast" style indy to the South, something that the folks in Dixieland definitely need.
The company's geographic location helps them greatly in that goal, as it has allowed them to use many of the former regulars of NWA Wildside (Jason Cross, Azrael), TNA stars traveling to or from Florida (Sonny Siaki, David Young, Raven), and a few former WCW stars who just happen to live in the area (Buff Bagwell, RANGER ROSS~!) It's a unique blend of talent that you're not going to see in a lot of other places. To top it all off, the company recently scored one of its biggest coups by bringing in Low Ki for a show just mere weeks after it was announced that he would no longer be competing for Ring of Honor.
Like many indies attempting to make a name for themselves outside of their home area, PWE has recently taken to putting steaming wrestling programs up on its website, ProWrestlingEvolution.com. It's my job to take a look at that sort of thing, so let's go.
Title: Pirate TV, Episode 6 Released By: Pro Wrestling Evolution Release Year: 2006 Run Time: 45 Mintues Found At:ProWrestlingEvolution.com Price: FREE
The show opens with Pro Wrestling Evolution "executive" Nigel Sherrod in the ring, and the crowd thinks that he's a weasel. He looks pretty sharp compared to a lot of guys who work indy shows and does a pretty decent job on the stick. He calls out his assistant Carl Wilson, who aspires to be a pro wrestler. The gist is that Sherrod is pissed off at this young fellow and is punishing him by booking him in a match against PWE Champion Bio-Hazard. Hazard is out, and he's actually reluctant to beat up an untrained guy who "doesn't even have any gear." Sherrod calls for the match to start anyway.
Match Numero Uno: Carl Wilson vs. Bio-Hazard
For those of you who have never heard of Bio-Hazard, he's got some pretty decent credentials backing him up. He was trained at the Shawn Micheals/Texas Wrestling Academy, and that fact alone got his foot in the door with Ring of Honor on their early shows. He was present at several of their events in 2002, primarily allying himself with Michael Shane before dropping off the face of the earth. I always thought he had some potential, as the guy has a good build and some fairly impressive suplexes in his arsenal. As far as this match is concerned, Carl jumps Hazard before the bell, but it's got no effect. He tries to reason with him after that, and it's pretty damn funny. "You gotta understand my situation!" BH apparently does not understand, as he chops away at the young man and gives him a snap suplex. There's a kick to the back and a cradle piledriver, which may have rendered young Carl Wilson dead. Not satisfied with his work thusfar, Hazard takes his man down with a cobra clutch leg sweep and rolls through in to his own version of the Cattle Mutilation to secure a quick tap out.
Match Thoughts: Obviously this one wasn't even meant to be taken seriously, as it was your typical non-wrestler gets brutalized by actual wrestler sort of encounter. It was good enough for its purpose but a DUD when judged by objective standards.
Post-match, a man who must be in the four hundred pound range walks in to the ring and has a staredown with the champion. His name is apparently Tank, and he'll be challenging Bio-Hazard for the championship in the near future.
And here's a highlight package for Low Ki, who is shown destroying the likes of Bryan Danielson, American Dragon, and the Amazing Red. This hypes up his PWE appearance on April 22, during which he took on Tank and Bio-Hazard in a three-way for the PWE Championship.
Carl Wilson is now interviewed by a man who claims to be "Ronnie Garvin's third cousin." The subject, of course, is the destruction by Bio-Hazard. Wilson's response in telling the interviewer to leave him alone is classic: "Do you ask a rape victim how deep the motherfucker got in?" From the rest of the interview, it sounds like Wilson will be seeking some sort of revenge of Sherrod. He cut a pretty good promo here, so I would be a happy camper if the revenge involved him becoming a face manager of some new hired gun.
Match Numero Dos: Reuben James & Kid Ego, Jr. vs. Hayden Young & Jonathan Davis
This is the first segment of a tag team gauntlet match, the winner of which will be getting a Tag Title shot at some undetermined point in the future. I can't say that I know much about any of the four men in the match, but I would be remiss if I didn't note that Jonathan Davis looks like the love child of Jay Lethal and Shelton Benjamin. I don't know how two male wrestlers have a love child or why they would name him after the lead singer of Korn if they did, but here we have it.
We start off with Ego and James against Young and Davis. Davis begins with James, and they do a bunch of quick reversals to kick things off, culminating with Davis hitting a leg lariat that sends his opponent out of the ring. That sets up the tag to Kid Ego, and Davis gets a nice fireman's carry takedown out of nowhere, which he turns in to an armbar. Ego reverses in to the armdrag, and now we've got Hayden Young in the ring. He goes behind Ego and rides him for a little bit before hitting a snap suplex for the two count. A big corner attack follows, and Davis is back in for a double team backbreaker, which sets up a dropkick to Ego's head by Young. Davis stays in the ring as a legal man, but he's taken down in a snap mare and kicked in the back a couple of times. Davis tags a Mr. Perfect-esque bump off of a clothesline, and here comes Reuben James, though he was apparently reluctant to tag in. He gets a lungblower and a vertical suplex, though they can only get a two count. Davis makes his comeback with some rights and an enzuguri, but he heads towards the wrong corner and gets cut off as a result. There's a forceful tag to Kid Ego, and he applies an armbar. A Samoan drop variant is next, but Junior misses a twisting senton from the top rope. There's the hot tag to Hayden Young, and James is back in as well. Hayden clotheslines him repeatedly and lands a running shooting star press, though it only gets two. James responds with an enzuguri, but Kid Ego had grabbed a blind tag seconds earlier, so James isn't legal when he goes for the pinfall. That leads to an argument between the two men, allowing Young to roll up James for the three count.
Match Thoughts: This was an odd match to watch, just because Young looked so much more athletic than either of his opponents. He was tanned, he was cut, and he was big, whereas Ego and James were a couple of small generic men that you could see at your mall food court on a random weekend. You can have a look like that and still be fine in terms of your wrestling technique, but when you run up against a guy who looks much better and is on the same level in terms of grappling ability, you're just going to look like enhancement talent, which can seriously hurt a match. Fortunately the four men here worked around that fact well, keeping Davis in the ring for the majority of the fight, which was the better option because the heels getting heat on Hayden would have looked ridiculous. Plus, when Young finally did come in and make the hot tag, it was all the more realistic that he could take out his two opponents at the same time, regardless of whether they were at each other's throats. Overall, it was decent for a five minute tag team encounter. *
Match Numero Tres: Hayden Young & Jonathan Davis vs. The Regular Guys
The Guys hit the ring quickly and immediately start pummeling Young and Davis. They give Hayden a double back elbow, and then one Regular Guy (apparently named Bob E. Hill) isolates him with a clothesline. Hill tags out to his partner Tyler Smith, and that does indeed sound like the name of a regular guy. The R.G.s allow Young to run in to Hill's knee, and he gets held there for a dropkick by Smith. Hill sticks around in the ring and gets a solo back elbow as well as a Stinger splash before trading off to Smith one more time. There's a legdrop from the Guy, but a double clothesline spot puts both men down on the mat. The both tag their partners, and Davis dropkicks both Regular Guys before hitting an Asai DDT on one of them. Young follows that up with a HIGH elevation frog splash, and Young/Davis have put away another combo.
Match Thoughts: Yes, the Regular Guys certainly were regular. They didn't show anything particularly impressive here, and the whole point of it just seemed to be to make the gauntlet match longer than it would have been otherwise. 1/4*
Match Numero Cuatro: Hayden Young & Jonathan Davis vs. Darin Childs & Seth Shai w/ Rachel Putski
There's no word on whether Rachel is the third cousin of Ivan or Scott Putski. Much like the Regular Guys before them, Childs and Shai go on the offensive immediately, with Childs hitting an STO backbreaker on Davis and handing him off to Shai. A big powerslam from Shai connects, as does a vertical suplex and a legdrop. He runs in to a boot when trying an avalanche, though, and a corkscrew plancha from Davis lets him make the tag. Young is in, and he hits a springboard shoulderblock on Shai for two. A spinning kick from Shai reverses the fortunes of Hayden, though, and here's a tag to Childs. His back body drop is on target, as is another vertical suplex. There's the exchange to Shai, though he screws things up for his team by getting caught in a sunset flip. He quickly kills any momentum Young could have had by hitting a clothesline, and here comes the armbar. That sets up a Northern lights from Shai, who then tags out to Childs. Hayden sees an opening and tries for an Air Sabu hipsmash on Darin, but it misses. A chain of backbreakers from Childs sets up another tag and a double back elbow, but Shai's latest suplex attempt is reversed. Young's comeback is cut off AGAIN, and Childs tags back in for another backbreaker. He also gets a corkscrew elbow, but Young responds with his version of the Pele kick, and heeeeeere comes Jonathan Davis. He dropsaults everything that moves, but the numbers game catches up with him as Young is forced to roll out of the ring. Childs and Shai toss Young up in to the air, and Childs catches him with a neckbreaker on the way down. That ends the match.
Match Thoughts: This wound up being the best segment of the whole gauntlet, most likely because (at least according to my research) Childs is actually quite the indy journeyman and has been making the rounds all over the place since the early 1990's. Most of what was going on in the ring made a lot of sense, as the Child/Shai team took over immediately and started going in to high impact moves, which normally would be knocked by yours truly. However, in this context, Young and Davis were already softened up by the two previous matches, so jumping right in to the big stuff made sense. The only problem with it was that, when the wrestlers needed to slow down the match to communicate or take a breath, it looked very odd because we suddenly went from a faster pace to a couple of basic moves and then right back in to the faster pace. It would have been better if the teams could have constructed some reason for the pace slowing, keeping it slow for a little bit longer, and then picking it back up later. I understand that they were dealing with limited time, though, and this still was a decent short indy match. *1/2
After the match, there's MAYHEM IN THE LOCKER ROOM! Young sets up Reuben James to be attacked by Kid Ego.
Up next is a wacky video package for a young man named Lamar Phillips, who will apparently be debuting on the next episode of Pirate TV. It's like a plot-advancing montage from a late 1980's/early 1990's movie, complete with "Hearts on Fire" from Rocky IV (not John Meehan) playing in the background.
Up next we've got a promo from Young and Davis, as well as the lineup for the next episode of Pirate TV and a plug for the next live event. We're out after that.
Final Thoughts
Number of Matches: 4 Highest Star Rating: *1/2 Lowest Star Rating: DUD Average Star Rating: 3/4*
In the past, I knocked a couple of internet television shows for focusing too much on lame interviews and video packages as opposed to actually giving the majority of the fans what they're going to want – wrestling action. I got knocked for taking that position by a bunch of people who said that if you gave away too much wrestling on the internet, there would be no incentive for fans to attend the promotion's live shows, which is where the promotion will make all of its money. However, this show is living, breathing proof that it IS possible to give fans good wrestling on a free net TV show without giving away too much that would be a draw on your live program. Here all of the matches were well put together for shorter television matches, and they were interspersed with all sorts of hype and promos that inform fans about what will be on the next live show. PWE has seemingly struck a perfect balance with its programming, as it was entertaining enough to hold my attention for an hour but didn't give me so much that I wouldn't think about going to a live show if I lived in the Georgia area. With my former favorite netcast (AWA Hotwire) on a lengthy hiatus, I'll probably check this one out on a semi-regular basis. You should too.
