High Road/Low Road 04.28.06: The Spirit Squad
Posted by Sat on 04.28.2006
Cheerleaders and wrestling in the same column? What kind of world is this? Oh yeah and this is a brand new column, so read it.
Welcome friends and lovers to the first edition of the High Road/Low Road. In this column we (Sat and Rajah) give the high road and low road of gimmicks and angles which are present in the wonderful world of wrestling. Sat, being the kind lovable one, tries to see the positive aspect of all angles, gimmicks and the like. Whereas Rajah is a jackass and who sees nothing good in anything. Why he doesn't just shoot himself, we have no idea. In any case, Sat takes the high road, and Rajah the low road. Today's topic...
The Spirit Squad!
The High Road:
The Spirit Squad is good for the WWE. The WWE has no dominant stable right now, and the Spirit Squad can fill that pressing void. Who doesn't enjoy stables? The Horsemen were great, the nWo was great, and Evolution was interesting. Stables add a different flavor to the stale one-on-one matchups we consistently find in wrestling. Sure, the gimmick isn't the best, but it is something that hasn't been done much. Let's allow this gimmick to play out before we crucify it.
The Low Road:
Are you f'n kidding me? Male cheerleaders? Why is this s**t on my television? Only the large percentage of the male cheerleader population will buy into this incredibly flawed gimmick. What the hell is their purpose--to cheer? It's not like the Spirit S**t can even be considered a stable. Stables usually have a variety of characters that you can differentiate between. For example, sometimes you have the future, enforcer and leader of the stable. But I can't notice any difference between Dicky and Slinky-they are both stupid f'n cheerleaders, whose wrestling careers are not off to a great start. Get them a new gimmick or get them off my TV.
The High Road:
Some of the main eventers of today and yesterday were tag team partners at some point in their career. Bret Hart was a tag team champion and he was a five-time world champion. Shawn Michaels was a tag champ and is considered one of the great performers of his era. Edge got his start in a tag team and now is main eventing on Raw. Ken Doane and the others will also follow the path of Hart, Michaels, Edge, and in a few years the Spirit Squad will only be a footnote in their great careers. Edge was a member of the Ministry and most people don't remember that he was a part of that stable.
The Low Road:
The Spirit Squad will inevitably follow other great luminaries such as the Oddities, and Dungeon of Doom into the bowels of the wrestling world. The sad part of this situation is that their individual careers will follow the gimmick into Wrestlecrap as well. Very few wrestlers escape a s**ty gimmick like this one and I don't see it happening with Dicky and Slinky of the Spirit Squad. This gimmick is Bastion Booger bad, and that is, to state the obvious, not f'n good. The fact is that the WWE is not doing anything to put the future of the members of the Spirit Squad on the right track for success. They are killing young careers. To say sometimes a tag team wrestler strikes gold is to forget that for every Shawn Michaels that there are twenty or more Marty Jannettys. I simply can't wait to see Slinky's myspace page where he bitches about stupid s**t that nobody gives a damn about. Then I will remember the Spirit Squad and cry.
The High Road:
A stable on RAW will help the fledgling tag team division. Stables always help the tag team division. Whenever there has been a stable in the wrestling, there is always a tag team coming out of that stable. When you think of Evolution, there was Batista & Flair, the Horseman: Blanchard and Anderson, and with the nWo, you had Hall and Nash, among others. Considering how bad the tag team division has been, the Spirit Squad can only help. Many (Rajah) constantly complain about the lack of tag team action...well, here you go, you have the Spirit Squad.
The Low Road:
Blinky and Tricky of the Spirit Squad are not going to help the tag team division. The tag team division is already DEAD, and this crap isn't going to help. If anything, this just devalues the straps even more. No one, who is not named McMahon can buy these cheerleaders as World Tag Team champions. Sure they can wrestle, but so can Simon Dean. No one would buy Simon Dean as a cruiserweight champion let alone a tag team champion. Hell, they have him manage another tag team instead of allowing him to be in one. Also, whom are they going to feud with-Goldust and Snitsky? Or better yet, they can split up and we can have a cheerleading rivalry, where we can grade their stupid f'n cheer routines on WWE.com. Damn, I feel sick. In any case, it takes more than one team to make a tag division. So, big whoop-dee-damn-doo the Spirit Squad add to the tag team division on Raw. So what if they won the tag team titles, now they can use the titles as a prop in their f'n cheer routines. Hmm, I remember a day when teams like the Hart Foundation, Demolition were feuding, but today we have the Sprit Squad.....Hold on.......okay I'm back I just had to vomit. Thank you WWE, for making the tag titles worthless.
The High Road:
Right now, the members of the Spirit Squad are young. Without this gimmick, they would still be in OVW and not in the WWE. The gimmick has allowed them to come to the main roster earlier than they should so they can get mainstream exposure.
The Low Road:
I would rather they still be in OVW than straddled with this f'n gimmick. If the WWE wants them up why can't they give them some "normal" gimmick. Is it really that hard to think of gimmicks that are somewhat normal?? By the way if they are not ready for the WWE (like Chris Masters) they should still be down in OVW where they can learn before coming up to the main roster.
The High Road:
If the gimmick does fail miserable, you could have the important members of the Spirit Squad denounce the cheerleader gimmicking and boom you have full-fledged faces that are beating the crap out of the other cheerleaders. Who doesn't like watching cheerleaders getting their butts kicked? A bad gimmick does not neccesarily mean the end of a career. The Big Show, as the Giant, was apart of the Dungeon of Doom and nobody considers him a failure.
The Low Road:
Um, the argument above is stretching a bit. "Who doesn't like watching cheerleaders getting their butts kicked?" Uhh, are you f'n serious? Are you on crack???? These ARE male cheerleaders need I remind you, not female ones. You are crazy, my dear brother. Seriously, you are on some serious drugs. You can't be serious. NO ONE wants to see male cheerleaders PERIOD. Also, these guys are stuck with this cheerleader crap because as we know, once a cheerleader always a cheerleader. When I say Chuck Palumbo what do you all think of, and don't lie. You all think of the gay wedding on Smackdown. I'm sorry but they are stuck with this. They are fully covered in this s**t, unlike the Giant who had a separate gimmick from the Dungeon of Doom. The difference is that this is NOT a stable, but instead we have five male cheerleaders running around on my TV. You have to try and change their gimmick as quickly as possible. If this goes on for too long they are stuck—like our friend Eugene.
The High Road:
A stable will eventually lead to money matchups between the members of the Spirit Squad. When Evolution split, we got Triple H/Orton, Triple H/Batista, Orton/Flair, etc. The matchup where endless and are still in effect to this day. Batista/Orton was supposed to main event WrestleMania, but an injury prevented this. This matchup will headline a pay per view down the road. With the Spirit Squad, there are five members, which will lead to more matchups than we got with Evolution. The possibility are endless.
The Low Road:
All right Sat, you have totally lost it, you are officially not making any sense. Hell, you could probably write for Vince McMahon. In any case, no one gives a f**k about the Dinky versus Flicky Dream Match. No one wants to see the Spirit Squad split, I pray to God we don't have feuding cheerleading squads on RAW. Let us all pray that we don't have feuding male cheerleaders. Right now PRAY! DAMN IT PRAY!
The Final Take
Sat: Remember that this is wrestling. People are related one week and enemies the next week. An angle could be worked where you could say that the Boogeyman was possessing them and now that they have broken away from his evil powers. If the Boogeyman can eat a mole, he can possess people. The main point is that if this gimmick starts to draw negative criticism, then there is a way out
Rajah: Start to draw negative criticism?? This gimmick blows worse than a two-cent whore, and stop giving Vinny Mac ideas-Boogeyman possessing the Spirit Squad, (shakes head) you are seriously nuts.
Sat: Do I need to remind you that our president was a male cheerleader? Most people do not know that he was a cheerleader, so if he can escape it, anybody can.
Rajah: Well, I certainly hope he wasn't a female cheerleader and this is a good place to stop...
So e-mail us and tell us what road you are taking on the Spirit Squad, the high road or the low road...and please don't give us that in-between crap.
