The Top Ten 5.02.06: Ridiculous Angles

Posted by Julian Williams on 05.02.2006

The Storylines that made you question your faith in McMahonism.

Hey people, welcome back to another exciting episode of The Top Ten sponsored by Red Bull and Coke(The drink, not the drug, you junkies). It tastes like crap when you mix it together, but it'll keep you up for a couple weeks. First of all, let me thank all of you guys who wrote in last week. I got a plethora(SAT word baby!) of great feedback and lots of support from you guys. Also, let me apologize as I think I confused many of you guys that thought that Hell In A Cell and WarGames matches should have been included on the list. I'm going to make a separate top 10 for HIAC and WarGames matches so look out for that column. Sorry again for the confusion guys. Remember, your feedback is always wanted and needed so email me dammit!! Let's look at a few of your thoughts on last week's columns.

Reader Feedback

First, Matt checks in with some OLD SCHOOL picks:

10. Ric Flair vs. Harley Race (Starrcade 1983 NWA)
9. Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair (7/26/86 NWA)
8. Triple H vs. Mankind (Summerslam 1997 WWF)
7. Rock and Roll Express vs. The Heavenly Bodies (11/28/92 SMW)
6. Jimmy Snuka vs. Don Muraco (10/17/83 WWF)
5. Rock and Roll Express vs. Ole and Arn Anderson (Starrcade 1986 NWA)
4. Midnight Rockers vs. Doug Somers and Buddy Rose (October 1986 AWA)
3. AMW vs. XXX (6/25/03 TNA)
2. Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart (Summerslam 1994 WWF)
1. Magum T.A. vs. Tully Blanchard (Starrcade 1985 NWA)

Great list Matt, The Rhodes/Flair match and the Snuka/Muraco match were on many other people's lists as well and were definitely in consideration when I was compiling the list.

Steve from Jersey provides a little constructive criticism:

I gotta say, as much as I enjoyed this I feel there were a few too many new matches for my taste. How bout some love to Snuka vs Muracco, or the much better, but forgotten match, Snuka vs Backlund? Granted Snuka's dives are slightly tame compared to what Angle, Benoit, Skipper and AMW have done but at the time they were MINDBLOWING! And I still think those dives hold up.

Also, I know they don't exactly have mainstream attention but Ring Of Honor has put out some xperience amazing cage matches. The Original Scramble Cage from Main Event Spectacles, Samoa Joe vs Jay Briscoe from At Our Best, and Raven vs CM Punk from The Conclusion are the best ones in my opinion. If you haven't checked them out, do yourself a favor. If you have...PUT THEM ON THE LIST!!

I guess you could say I lean slightly more towards the new school seeing as I didn't really start watching wrestling on a regular basis until 1997 when my mom finally shelled out some dough and got cable. Everything before that I've seen only through DVD's or a bunch of old wresting tapes that my uncle taped for me before I experienced the glory of cable TV. Luckily, I've still seen a fair amount as my uncle is a wrestling junkie and has almost every wrestling PPV between 1991 and now on tape. I haven't seen too much ROH, but I'm starting to buy a bunch of their DVD's so soon I hope to be caught up on the promotion. I realize there are a bunch of matches I still haven't seen so if I don't mention it and you feel it deserves recognition, email me dammit and I'll be sure to give it the credit it deserves. Right, Steve from Jersey? Right.

Matt L. from Jersey reminds me about a few oldies, but goodies:

I was just reading your best cage matches list. I think that you left out two of the best ever. Tommy Rich vs. Buzz Sawyer back in the early 80's was not only one of the bloodiest matches I ever saw but it was a PWI match of the year. The other glaring omission is the Bob Backland vs Jimmy Snuka match in which Snuka jumped off the top of the cage(and missed) in Madison Square Garden, also a PWI match of the year. Not only should they be on the list but they should be in the top 5. If your not familiar with them watch them, I think you will enjoy them

I'll admit that I never saw the Rich/Sawyer match, but I've heard great things about it so that's definitely on my list of matches to see. If anyone knows a place where I can find it, let me know. A lot of people mentioned the Backland/Snuka match and honestly I just forgot about it. If I had remembered it, I would have definitely included it on my list or at least given it an honorable mention.

Sam hits me up with a little more ROH love:

AJ Styles vs. Abyss, TNA Lockdown 2005
#1 Contenders Match
If ever there were a big vs. little cage match that worked, it's Styles vs. Abyss... Styles bumps enough for a dozen men in this one, all the while keeping himself in a convincing position to pull off the upset and take Abyss' #1 Contendership...

Austin Aries I vs. Colt Cabana, ROH Third Anniversary Celebration, Part I
ROH World Title Match
Though their first title encounter was subpar at best, the Aries-Cabana cage rematch was truly outstanding, including a great ending that sees Aries dive out of the cage door and sacrifice his body to keep Cabana from winning his title...

CM Punk vs. Jimmy Rave, ROH Nowhere to Run
#1 Contenders Match
The blowoff to the long-running Punk vs. Rave (and the Embassy) feud, both men went all out in this main event... I think what separates this match from others in my mind is how many non-wrestling fans I've shown it to, who quickly become engaged by it, openly rooting for Punk in just a few minutes... The contest has a ‘big match' feel to it, and the superplex off the top of the cage is really a sight to see...

Generation Next vs. The Embassy, ROH Steel Cage Warfare
Steel Cage Warfare Match
I'm not sure whether you were including multiple-person matches on your list, as the original WarGames matches were conspicuously absent, but Ring of Honor's updated take on the classic blood-feud-ender is worth a look as well... As much storyline as anything, this epic 40-minute match was a great end to ROH's top late-year rivalry...

I loved the AJ/Abyss match from Lockdown last year, the only reason I didn't include it is because I felt they spent too much time outside of the cage. Call me old fashioned, but I like my cage matches to take place inside the cage throughout the whole match. Still a great match, though. All those ROH matches sound great and once I get my next check, I'm going to try to buy all of those on DVD. Either that or porn. Matter of fact, ROH might have to wait a week.

Andrew doesn't like the number one pick. No, he doesn't like it at all:

Good list... I love lists lol!

Though I always felt the Magnum TA match was xperi overrated... yes
it was brutal but I just don't put it up there as greatest cage match
ever.

Important cage matches that could claim places in the top ten are:

Hogan vs Orndoff 87 SNME – Epic, as there was confusion over who had
won and the match was restarted, crowd ate this up.

Hogan vs Bossman – The match was pretty decent but is best remembered
for the suplex off the top of the cage. Cult Classic, seeing a near 400
pound man fall that far in 1989 was a major ‘holy sh*t' moment.

Jimmy Snuka vs Bob Backlund, MSG – First time Superfly did the splash
off the top of the cage.... the crowd were absolutely stunned.

Jimmy Snuka vs Don Muraco, MSG – The famous splash off the top of the
cage that landed this time, inspired Mick Foley.

Rikishi vs Val Venis – Fully Loaded 2000 – The match itself was nothing
special but by god did Rikishi pull off the most underrated spot of all
time... 400 pound Rikishi does a superfly splash ON to Venis from top
of the 15 foot cage... SICK SICK bump I was absolutely shocked by this
at the time.

Good column, keep up the LISTS.. love em

I love lists too Andrew, why else would I watch all those annoying countdowns of E! and VH1? Some great picks on this list including the oft-forgotten Rikishi/Val match that was in fact quite good. Gotta disagree with you on the Magnum/Tully match, though, homie. Anytime a splintered chair goes into a man's forehead, I'm there.

Dave hates my list, he absolutely hates it. He kicked it, spat on it, and called it a dirty slut:

I liked your top ten, but you are way to biased towards recent cage matches and spot fests. The essence of a true cage match is brutality and violence. Great cage matches always settled drawn out rivalries and gave a sense of closure and should never include run ins, that is the whole purpose of a cage match (One notable exception listed below). Having said that:

Vince and Austin was quite a spectacle but was an average spot fest at best plus a run in, brutal yes but top 10 no chance

the first AMW/XXX match was a by the book cage match nothing special and really only continued the fued

Angle/Benoit was a great match but they really didn't use the cage other than to perform over the top spots in place of their normal spots again a run of the mill cage match with some great high spots but not a great cage match

Edge vs Angle – Are you freaking nuts? I love Angle and all but this match did nothing for me

I would replace these 4 matches with:

Rock and Roll Express vs Ole and Arn Anderson 1986 Starcade --- BRUTAL and the payoff for a draw at the GAB nobody bumps like Morton and gets sympathy like him and the fans ate it up!

Wargames 1 – GAB 87 I believe with super powers, road warriors, and paul ellering vs 4 horseman and jj xperi. This match redifed brutality and the cage. I was an I quit 10 man texas tornado match in a cage for crying out loud!!!

The first hell in the cell but the ending settled nothing, but then again what the hell it tumps the hell out of amw/XXX and edge vs angle.

Austin Idol vs Jerry Lawler in Memphin in 1987 win the southern title and shaved Jerry's head. This was a brutal match and one of the greatest in xperie history!

My top ten

10) HHH vs. Ric Flair(Taboo Tuesday 2005)
Great match
9) Austin Idol vs Jerry Lawler in Memphin in 1987
8) Edge and Matt Hardy
7) R&R Express vs Andersons at the Starcade 1986
This was a freaking sick match that was great
6) Ric Flair vs. Harley Race(Starrcade 1983)A classic
5) Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart(Summerslam 1994)
4) R&R Express vs Andersons at the Starcade 1986
This was a freaking sick match that was great
3) HBK and the Undertaker
Yes there is a run in but they redefined the cage match and put on a hell of a brutal show that really elevated my opinion of HBK
2) Wargames 1 – No explanation needed
1) Magnum TA vs Tully – I saw this match live and it was awesome you could feel the hatred.

Dave gets a pass for having a HIAC and WarGames match on his list because it was my screw up for not clarifying what kind of cage matches I had on the list. I've never seen the Idol/Lawler match so that's definitely going on my increasingly growing list of matches to see. A lot of people mentioned the R&R/Andersons match and I thought it was a great match, but not top 10-ish. It would definitely be in my top 20, though. Great list Dave, my list forgives you and drops the charges.

Scarry Larry explains how the Hardy/Edge match is relevant to real life:

Nice column. And welcome aboard.

I am backing you up on the Hardy/Edge cage match. Bottom line: the match was awesome. And the leg drop off the top of the cage was w/out question the sickest bump of ‘05. Not just for the bump itself, but for what it meant. I have never had to endure the unfortunate xperience of losing a girl to a good friend, so I am not sure how it feels. But I cannot imagine a better way to get over it than by dropping my leg on the neck of the guy who stole my girl, from... THE TOP OF A 15 FOOT MONOLITHIC STEEL CAGE! Just think about that for a second. Seriously. Imagine getting fired from a company b/c a man you thought to be a good friend slept w/ your girl and you couldn't keep your mouth shut about it. And you have two options:

1. Go work for the competition and stick it to your employer.

OR

2. Return to the employer that fired you and drop your leg on the bastard who slept w/ your girl, from... THE TOP OF A 15 FOOT MONOLITHIC STEEL CAGE!

Sure the WWE pulled the rug out from under the entire program, not to mention Hardy's potentially mosterous push. And they have all but buried the guy on their B show. But anyone who thinks Matt Hardy got the short end of the stick here needs to think again. Anyone who believes Matt Hardy should have run to TNA needs to reassess the situation. B/c when it is all said and done, Matt Hardy dropped his leg on Edge's neck from... THE TOP OF A 15 FOOT MONOLITHIC STEEL CAGE!

NOTE: I normally shy away from the depiction of male on female violence, but the Twist of Fate on Lita should not be forgotten.

Right on brother, nothing spells revenge like a leg drop from THE TOP OF A 15 FOOT MONOLITHIC STEEL CAGE! You should patent that buddy, or I will. BWAHAHAHA(that's my evil laugh).

Rick makes me feel old, but at least he provides some great picks:

Mr. Williams,

Based on your cage match list, here are a few matches I recommend you see:

AMW vs. XXX (6/25/2003 – available on the Best of AMW DVD)

Samoa Joe vs. Jay Briscoe (3/13/2004 – ROH At Our Best)

AJ Styles vs. Abyss (Lockdown 2005)

Eddie Guerrero vs. Bradshaw (Smackdown 7/15/2004)

Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair (never seen it, but it's gotten great reviews – Halloween Havoc 1994 – should be available on the upcoming Hogan Anthology DVD)

Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio (Smackdown 9/2/2005 – I also missed this, but it got very good reviews – I'm still looking for a copy)

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair (Taboo Tuesday 2004 – one of the few positives of my live experience at that shitty show)

Andersons vs. Rock N Roll Express (Starrcade 1986 – available on the Bloodbath Steel Cage DVD)

Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson (1979 – available on the Bloodbath Steel Cage DVD)

Edge & Christian vs. Hardyz (Unforgiven 2000 – available on the Hardy Boyz DVD)

CM Punk vs. Raven (11/28/2003 – ROH The Conclusion)

Austin Aries vs. Colt Cabana (2/19/2005 – ROH Third Anniversary Celebration Pt. 1)

Bryan Danielson vs. Homicide (5/13/2005 – ROH The Final Showdown – THIS would easily make your top ten list)

CM Punk vs. Jimmy Rave (5/14/2005 – ROH Nowhere to Run)

Generation Next vs. The Embassy (12/3/2005 – ROH Steel Cage Warfare)

I haven't seen any of the ROH matches or the Eddie/Rey match, but I'm definitely going to be checking those out very soon. All the other matches I've seen and all of them could have certainly found a spot on the top 10 and were in consideration when I compiled the list. And I'm only 22, so just call me Julian so I don't feel too old. It's bad enough that they stopped asking me for ID when I go buy my weekly bottle of hooch.

Finally, Andrew P. gives some good picks and great commentary to boot:

Ronnie Garvin vs Ric Flair, September 1987, Detroit
A 40 minute battle which saw Garvin win the NWA World title from Flair to a huge crowd reaction. Garvin thereafter cooled off quicker than John Cena and Flair won the belt back at the NWA's first ever PPV,
Starrcade ‘87

Randy Savage vs Jerry Lawler, Mid South Wrestling, 1982.
Just a vicious brawl, culminating in Savage dropping the famed flying elbow from the top of the cage, amove totally unimaginable at the time.

Hulk Hogan vs Big Boss Man, Madison Square Garden 1988
I kid you not, this was great. Hogan even superplexed Boss Man off the top of the cage.

The Hardy Boys vs Edge/Christian, tag title match, September 2000
So sue me, I can't remember the name of the PPV but it was one month after Summerslam which saw the first ever TLC match. This was the Hardys reward for doing the job in that TLC match, and was brilliant, highlighted by Lita hitting the huracanrana on Edge off the side of the cage. And with that first innocent contact, look what blossomed.

Hardy Boys vs Dudleyz, WWF vs WCW tag titles, Survivor Series 2001
On the night WCW was finally killed off, the Dudleys unified the tag titles in a tag team cage classic against the Hardys. This was elimination rules, so both member sof a team had to escape the cage or be pinned/submit. The finish saw Jeff hardy do the Swanton from the top of the cage through a table after D-Von moved.

There was actually a lot of feedback for the Hogan/Bossman match which kind of surprised me, but that superplex off the top of the cage was pretty f-ing sweet. All in all, great picks here Andrew and great commentary. Don't try to steal my job yet, I've only been here for one week.

So that's all folks for the feedback. Thanks again to all you guys for reading the column and hitting me up with your thoughts. Keep it rolling in baby, I'm always interested in hearing what you guys think.

Top 10 Reasons to order Backlash
So apparently there was a Pay-Per-View Sunday night. I watched it, as I'm sure many of you did also. For those of you that didn't watch it, though, don't worry. I got your back homeslice. Here's a quick top 10 on why you should order the replay:

10) Carlito and his cheating ways.
9) Flair and his cheating ways…..Even if he's losing to a fat, untalented former jobber.
8) How Trish dislocated her shoulder. It was a nasty little spill.
7) HBK's got two words for you: Jesus Saves…..Ohh wait, not those two words.
6) RVD vs. Shelton = Awesome
5) You get to hear Kane's inner thoughts…..IN RED LIGHT!!
4) Vince heals Candice of a chest cold…..Now if only he could heal her atrocious acting.
3) God's Entrance…..It's straight up JIGGY!!
2) Matt Striker loves Poop.
1) Edge/HHH/Cena = Awesome cubed

Backlash was a pretty decent show, if anything order it for the great Triple Threat and RVD/Benjy matches. And for God's PPV debut, of course. Ok, now let's get down to our feature presentation.

The Top Ten Most Ridiculous Angles

Honorable Mention: Booker and Edge have a classic feud…..Over Shampoo?!?!
Hey guys, we have two talented performers in Edge and Booker who are slated to face each other at Wrestlemania 18 so what kind of storyline can we give them to kick off their feud? Ohh I know, let's make them fight over shampoo! You see Booker wants a shampoo commercial, but Edge gets it instead. That'll be great!! This is the kind of brilliant brainstorming that comes from those "creative" minds in the E. Why the hell are grown men fighting over shampoo?!? It was a storyline that was so bad that it kind of put a damper on their match, which was actually pretty good, but the fact that they were fighting over shampoo just made it disinteresting.

10) Kurt Angle is Our Olympic….Sexual Predator?!?!
What the holy hell were they thinking with this one? Wasn't Kurt Angle the same person that was feuding with Big Show a couple years before this because he was preaching abstinence while Show was handing out condoms to kids? And now all of a sudden, he's a sexual predator that likes to have dirty sex with other people's wives? No sir, I didn't like this one at all. I like my Kurt Angle to be a badass, butt kicking motherfucker. I don't want my Kurt Angle to be a psycho rapist. To say I was happy to see him get drafted to Raw and get this asinine storyline dropped would be an understatement.

9) Missed Opportunity #9345: WWE vs. The Alliance
The sad part of this ridiculous storyline is the promise that it had. I mean it was WCW vs. WWE. This is what fans had been waiting DECADES to see. Then creative decided to take all the fans expectations of this angle and take an elephant sized crap on it. First of all WCW had NOBODY of note. I mean sure there was Booker, but who else was there? Shane Helms? Buff Bagwell? Shawn FUCKING Stasiak?!? Who the hell were going to buy these guys as a legitimate threat to Stone Cold, HHH, The Rock, The Undertaker, and others. Vince should have thrown money at the big WCW stars like Flair, Sting, Steiner, Nash, Hall, Mysterio, Goldberg, Jarrett and Hogan because the money he would have made from the angle would have exceeded anything he was paying them. They could have had former WCW talent like Jericho, Benoit, Eddie, Saturn, Malenko, and others be torn on which side to choose with some defecting and some staying with the E. Could you imagine a WarGames match pitting Flair, Sting, Goldberg, Booker, and Hogan(because he hates Vince) against Stone Cold, The Rock, HHH, Undertaker and Kurt Angle? I could and that match would have made money. HUGE money. But it wasn't to be and they joined the weak WCW lineup with a strong ECW lineup. I'm not going to lie, the night when The Alliance was formed and I saw RVD and Tommy Dreamer attack Kane and Jericho, I marked out like an eight year old seeing John Cena. Once again, though, they had something that could have potentially been awesome and turned it to crap. Most of the Invasion storyline focused on Kurt Angle vs. Stone Cold which, as I recall, are BOTH WWE GUYS!! Then they had Kurt join forces with Stone Cold after feuding with him for months, it was just ridiculous. This is one angle that should have made a huge profit and yet it barely made a cent.

8) Let's bring in The New Blood!!!
So WCW had this "brilliant" idea in 2000 and advertised for weeks how they were going to change the landscape of professional wrestling forever. I must say that I was kind of excited after seeing all those promos because I was hoping that WCW would get out of the creative rut it was in and generate some kind of buzz to become a viable threat to WWE again. So on April 10, 2000, Eric Bischoff and Vince Russo strutted out and declared all titles vacant and declared there was a new faction called "The New Blood" which consisted of younger wrestlers that was going to take over the top positions that were at that time held by the veteran wrestlers of the "Millionaire's Club" as they liked to call them. It wasn't a bad idea in essence because they were trying to attract some of the younger viewers that watched WWE by showcasing some of their younger talent. The problem was that their execution of the storyline was absolutely atrocious. The New Blood were suppose to be the faces that were being held down by The Millionaire's Club, but it came across like they were a bunch of whiny bitches that wanted shit handed to them. As a result, the fans booed them and they instantly became the heels. And besides, who the hell was going to buy Billy Kidman beating Hulk Hogan or Shane Douglas beating Ric Flair. It just wasn't believable. The fans just absolutely shat all over this angle and a couple of months later they mercifully killed it off.

7) It's a shoot! It's a work! Nope, it's a shoot brother! (The Hogan/Russo fiasco)
So Vince Russo wanted to get the title off Hulk Hogan and into the hands of Jeff Jarrett, but Hogan had so much backstage power that it was damn near impossible because he refused to lose to Jarrett. So Russo comes up with this "angle" where Hogan and Jarrett are set to face each other for the title at Bash At The Beach 2000, but Jarrett just lies down and lets Hogan win. Then Russo declares Hogan's win as meaningless and makes a "real" title match between Jarrett and Booker T later that night. Hogan gets pissed, goes away and then comes back a couple months later to kick some ass. The only problem was that Russo had no intention of bringing Hogan back and used this storyline to keep Hogan off TV. Obviously, this caused a gigantic shitstorm. Hogan tried to sue WCW for everything it had(which by that point was jack and shit) and the fans were left with an angle that never really paid off. This was just example #2984 why shoot angles almost never work.

6) Two hot chicks + a wretched storyline = Al Wilson
Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson were seemingly always in a feud with each other on Smackdown during late 2002 into 2003 which wasn't that bad because it usually didn't take up too much TV time and had them stripping each other down. Then some cockface came up with this abomination of an angle. You see, Torrie's dad, Al Wilson, started visiting his daughter at work and Dawn Marie, being the evil bitch that she is, started to flirt with Al in attempt to cause a riff in the happy relationship between Torrie and her dad. This angle took up globs of time on SD and the worst part about it is that NOBODY GAVE A FLYING MONKEY PISS about this angle. You could hear the pins drop during these horribly acted segments. Not even lesbian action between Dawn and Torrie could save this. Finally, after months of suffering, they decided to kill this angle, and Al, off. But don't feel too bad for Al, he got to shag Dawn Marie.

5) It's a boy….It's a girl….It's a HAND?!?!?
First WWE decided to put "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry in a relationship with 432-year old Mae Young, like the thought of a 400 pound behemoth plowing away on a geriatric fossil isn't disturbing enough. Then they decide to make said fossil pregnant, like the laws of time and nature have been reversed and now 90 year old women can give birth. Then they decide to make John The Baptist's grandmother give birth to a hand. A Hand? A MOTHERFUCKING HAND?!?! Holy crap, this was bad. Hey, I wonder whatever happened to the hand. It should be in Kindergarten by now.

4) Orton torches Eddie's lowrider
This happened to the Tuesday Night Smackdown special shortly after Eddie's death and I was so put off by it that I was tempted to stop watching WWE. Through all the terrible angles I've ever seen, this was the only one that made me contemplate giving up on the E. It was bad enough that Big Show had powerbombed Rey on the hood of the lowrider earlier in the show. Then I see Orton, with a prone Undertaker on the back of the car, start to rev up the engine and I was thinking to myself, "No way, no way in fucking hell are they going to do this!" But of course, they did and Orton reversed the car into the SD set and in the process sent Eddie's lowrider up in flames. Sure, it was only a car but the car was a symbol of Eddie and seeing it get torched on TV a few weeks after his death was very troubling. I know Vince and creative probably thought this was a good way to draw tons of heat on Orton, but it came at the expense of devaluing one of the greatest wrestlers to ever live by just making him part of a storyline to draw cheap heat on someone. When I remember Eddie, I want to think of his great matches and promos, not about his lowrider getting destroyed by Orton.

3) David Arquette = World Champion?!?!
In 2000, WCW was set to release "Ready To Rumble" which was a movie loosely based on the promotion and the movie's star, David Arquette, popped up on WCW TV to promote the movie. Who's David Arquette you ask? He's been in various Hollywood classics like "Eight Legged Freaks" and "See Spot Run". You probably know him best as dumb ass Officer Dewey in the "Scream" trilogy. Anyhow, he was in a special tag team match on the April 25, 2000 edition of Thunder. The match pitted Arquette and DDP, one of the film's stars, against Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff. The stipulation was that whoever scored the pinfall would become WCW World Heavyweight Champion. Take a wild guess who won. That's right, David Arquette, who had never before wrestled a day in his life won the company's most prestigious title. Needless to say, this caused a huge uproar and was a definite sign of just how far down the toilet WCW was sinking. They eventually took the title off of him during the Triple Cage match on May 7th at Slamboree, where he screwed DDP and helped Jarrett win the title. Just the thought of having Arquette mentioned in the same breath as former champions like Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Sting, Dusty Rhodes, and Ricky Steamboat makes me want to puke. Well, so do most of David Arquette's movies so I'll find a way to survive.

2) Show's dad goes on Mr. Bossman's wild ride
Late in 1999, The Big Show and the Bossman were involved in a feud when Big Show got the tragic news that his (kayfabe) father had died. I thought the E had come to their senses and pulled the plug on this feud and it was just a way to get Show off TV for a couple weeks before he started a new feud. Much to my dismay, this was only the beginning. Big Show was attending his father's funeral(which of course was being taped because NOTHING is sacred) when the Bossman showed up. He proceeded to hitch the father's coffin on the back of the hearse and drag the casket around the cemetery with Big Show clinging on for dear life. This was appalling, disgusting, and unnecessary. Even if they wanted to go with the whole "Show's dad is dead" angle, all they had to do was have Bossman say some derogatory things about Show's dad which would piss Show off and intensify the feud. You don't have a man come to the funeral of another man's loved one and drag the coffin around the cemetery. That's what you call crossing the line folks. I felt bad for Show for currently being involved in the craptacular May 19th angle with Kane but compared to this, May 19th is Masterpiece Theater.

1) Katie Vick…..'Nuff Said
Two words. Kate Vick. Those two words sum up everything wrong with wrestling. This is the crappiest of all WrestleCrap. And what made it so bad was that it was completely unnecessary. Kane, who was IC champ at the time, was challenging Hunter for the World Heavyweight Title with the stipulation being that winner took all as the IC title was being retired. That's all they needed!! It was (supposedly) going to be the last time the IC title was on display. There was going to be a unification of two titles into one. They could have built an intriguing storyline around that with HHH crapping on the importance of the IC title, with Kane defending its lineage. We can't have anything logical like that, though. Instead we get NECROPHILIA! Fun for the whole family. In case you've been living under a rock and never heard about this angle, here's the synopsis. HHH said he found out about a relationship Kane had with a girl named Katie Vick and how she had died in a car accident with Kane being the driver. According to HHH, Kane then proceeded to rape Katie's corpse, seeing how he couldn't get any when she was actually alive. Not only was this storyline absolutely disgusting, it also contradicted EVERYTHING about the Kane character. Kane was suppose to be a monster that went into hiding as a little boy after his parents were burned alive and he barely escaped alive. Kane wasn't suppose to be going to his prom and driving around having fun. It made it sound like Kane had a normal childhood and Kane's whole character was about suffering and pain. This whole angle just blew chunks and I couldn't wait to see it off my television screen. Now let's all join hands and pray that there is no mention of Katie Vick in the ongoing May 19th angle.


That's it for this week boys and girls, hoped you enjoyed and I hope to hear from a bunch of you about what storylines you felt were absolute crap. After all, this is wrestling, there are literally hundreds of ridiculous storylines out there. Tune in next week when the topic will be The Top Ten Talkers of alllllll-time. Till next time people, Peace and Hair Grease.