The Fink’s Payload 5.04.06: ECDUB!
Posted by Clarke-Rossi on 05.04.2006
The Fink’s Payload’s 1st round of ECW ONS booking!
Welcome back to the Fink's Payload, where we condense the IWC's great armchair booking ideas into a convenient package for Howard Finkel, WWE web searcher extraordinaire!
This week, we gave everyone a very simple task – Book ECW matches! Everyone in the IWC seems excited about ECW's return, even if it will be awkward as a Velocity replacement. But, first things first, the PPV – what matches would you like to see? Here is a brief summary:
Edge /w Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer /w Beulah
Edge vs. Terry Funk
Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio
Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho
RVD/Sabu vs. Christian York/Joey Matthews
RVD vs. Sandman for the ECW Title
Terry Funk vs. Mick Foley
Chris Benoit vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Dean Malenko
Sabu vs. Stone Cold
Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck
Impact Players vs. Dreamer/Raven
And here are some specifics for Finkie!
Randy writes:
A match I would definitely book for ECW: One Night Stand II is Danny Doring and Roadkill vs. Tajiri and Mikey Whipwreck. Why? Easy, there is history to this match.
At Guilty As Charged 2001 (ECW's last pay-per-view) Danny Doring and Roadkill retained the tag titles by defeating EZ Money and Julio Dinero. Also on the same event, there was a three way dance tag team match featuring The Unholy Alliance (Mikey Whipwreck and Tajiri) defeating Kid Kash and Super Crazy as well as The FBI (Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke) in a number one contenders match. So history says that The Unholy Alliance gets a tag title shot at Doring and Roadkill. Perfect.
As for the match itself, I would let it go about 12 minutes or so and let these 4 run wild. The Unholy Alliance get the win and become new ECW tag team champions. Now, the lights go out, when they come back on The Impact Players are posing behind The Unholy Alliance who turn around into huge Singapore Cane shots from them. Tommy Dreamer runs in to make the save, but he is over-powered. Lights go out again, when they come back on this time Raven is standing behind The Impact Players posing. Raven and Dreamer challenge them to an impromptu match and they accept.
So now we have The Impact Players vs. Dreamer and Raven. This one goes another 12-15 minutes. Finish comes with everybody hitting their finishers. Raven drops Credible with the Evenflow DDT, turns around into a Super Kick from Storm, and he turns around into a Spicoli Driver from Dreamer. Dreamer helps Raven up to celebrate after the match, and Raven drops him with a DDT.
Alright, so it's two matches that I booked, but it would all be one fluid segment, and it connects lots of old ECW rivalries and storylines into one.
Mark: Ya the show needs at least one impromptu match for it to be a real ECW show. This actually flows together quite nicely. I'd like to see it.
Chris: I like this very much… it comes across very ECW with a match leading to an angle then to another match. Very much like Rhyno's attacking of RVD at the last PPV. The difficult is that Raven is under TNA contract – can they get any of those guys? Not to mention the fact that he looks like walking death. I think you could replace Raven with Sandman, and play off the fact that the Impact Players interfered in the main event last year, as a backup.
Daniel writes: Terry Funk has already been comfirmed to be appearing at ONS and on this weeks Foley Is Blog on WWE.com, mick said he had an idea to pitch to Mr. McMahon. I think they should use this and book Funk vs. Foley for the main event because both men are probably willing to go through anything still for ECW and its fans. This match needs no build, but more publicity because last year's ONS wasn't built up as far as what matches there were.
Mark: Although Foley pulled out a very entertaining match at Mania, he had a very game Edge to run with, plus every gimmick known to man to make the fans pop. I just don't think Foley and Funk could at all live up to their reputations when matched up against one another anymore. I don't think this is the best use of either of these guys.
Chris: I don't think I want to see this as a singles match, unfortunately. Mick isn't the same guy anymore who could carry 60 year old Funker to a watchable match. This needs to be a tag match of some sort – perhaps Tommy/Terry vs. Cactus/Mikey Whipwreck? Or maybe even Sabu? The possibilities are endless.
Padraic writes: ... FIVE... STAR... FROG.... SPLASH! is heard from the commentators table as Rob Van Dam and Sabu pick up a win over Joey Matthews and Christian York, but Rob isn't done there. He motions to the ring announce to give him the microphone because Mr. PPV RVD has something to say. "Five Years. It has been FIVE YEARS since Rob Van Dam has wrestled on an ECW PPV. I had the last match seen by most fans out there against Jerry Lynn, and there is no way that this PPV is going to end without another match by everybody's favorite wrestler... ROB VAN DAM!" Rob makes his way over to the turnbuckle and is stairing towards the entrance. "I know you're listening back there... I know you are and I have a check in my pocket that I'm waiting to cash." The crowd...goes..in...sane. The chants begin... IN THE BANK! IN THE BANK! IN THE BANK! F U CENA clap clap clapclapclap... F U CENA clap clap clapclapclap.... "I've been called a lot of things in my career... Mr. Monday Night... Mr. Pay Per View... THE WHOLE F'N SHOW... But there is one thing that I haven't been called yet. AND THAT IS WORLDS CHAMPION! And I know I've got a big pay day comin with what's sitting in that briefcase... but tonight its not about the WWE. NOT TONIGHT! TONIGHT IS ALL ABOUT E....C...W! (spelled out in thumb points) So with that in mind, for one more night, Cena, HHH, Edge, Benjamin and all the boys who think they deserve the main event can sit back and watch a real wrestling match! I WANT MY SHOT.... AT THE ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! So since the last guy to wear that belt isn't here tonight..." as the crowd starts to chant F___ TNA, "I want a shot at the last REAL champ. SANDMAN! Tonight, Rob Van Dam is gonna Five Star Frog Splash through the glass ceiling and take the belt that everybody here knows I deserve! Tonight I take the ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!"
Fast foward through the rest of the show and ENTER SANDMAN cranks over the loud speakers. Sandman is in the ring with the ECW heavyweight title awaiting his opponent. One of a Kind pumps in and nothing happens. They start it again and nothing happens. Joey Styles starts to fret over where his close personal friend Rob Van Dam is... and WALK by Kilgore... or Pantera... plays. Out comes Rob Van Dam and after a grueling match filled with White Russian Leg Sweeps and a sick Van Terminator... RVD holds the ECW belt in his ring.
You may wonder why he didn't cash in the Money In The Bank... and its simple. He's cashing in at SummerSlam (fingers crossed) because its in Boston and I hope to be there to see it.
If you want to get crazy, maybe Tommy Dreamer and Paul Heyman make the annoucement that starting in September ECW will be back full time with a new roster of EXTREME Talent. And as RVD is in the ring CM PUNK nails a sick Shining Wizard to usher in the era of the New ECW. I dunno... maybe if there's enough time.
Mark: Wow that really runs the gamut of angles they could do. I totally see CM Punk being part of the ECW brand, but there's not really enough time, plus not enough people would no who he was to get the desired effect.
Chris: Full marks for detail – a very interesting set of angles indeed! Will they do it? Not sure – again, why do surprises on PPV when they already have your money? Plus ECW is going to build itself on ECW names, not new guys right off the top. CM Punk will be there, but he'll have to start from scratch.
And finally, our ideas:
Mark: I'd love to see them settle the JBL stuff from last year properly, have him have a match with Sandman. I think those two could work a fun brawl in the ECW style and it'd have a shit load of heat in that arena.
Chris: I think the most important match to have is Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko. Mysterio already got to have his goodbye for Eddie, now these two can do it. Make it two out of three falls, to a draw, just like Malenko/Guerrero. Simple tribute, the crowd will love it, and it will be a classy way to finally put this Eddie stuff to bed.
Ref-Bump-O-Meter:
This is a new feature this year to the Fink's Payload, here are the rules: A Ref Bump is defined by anytime a Ref has to sell a physical action in the context of a match. We only count Ref Bumps which occur on televised shows (so no house shows) which include: Raw, Smackdown!, Velocity, Heat, and any Pay-Per-View. Every week we will update the meter with new entrants, if at anytime you think we missed one, please feel free to suggest some to us.
So, the Ref-Bump-O-Meter for 2006 stands at: 28 + 2 = 30
The Ref Bumps this week were:
One ref bump in RVD vs. Shelton MITB/IC match at Backlash
One ref bump in Triple H vs. Cena vs. Edge Title match at Backlash
And your homework:
With Trish Stratus out for six weeks, where do you go with Mickie James as champion?
