The FlipSide News Report 05.06.06
Posted by Ryan K. Boman on 05.06.2006
A report filled with piss and vinegar...but mostly just piss.
Greetings, one and all.
Not only is today my sister's 33rd birthday, but it is also a Saturday. And you know what Saturday means. It means the FlipSide Report is upon you.
I have to admit, I am a little behind schedule this week, as my life has become a whirlwind of sex and innuendo (minus the sex part). Still, I have been really busy. As a matter of fact, while I am typing this report, I am holding my newborn baby, calculating my water bill, and surfing the internet. As you can surmise, I've got a lot on my plate right now. However, I will continue to press on, and give you, the reader, all the news, humor, and bullshit that you can handle. After all we've been through, it's the least that I can do.
So without further adieu, I present the report to end all reports.
From the 411 newswire... WWE continues to re-build the ECW brand, signing several former stars of the hardcore promotion: Lots of excitement swirling around about this thing. The re-launch of ECW not only provides nostalgia for fans of the old promotion, but it will give a new audience the opportunity to see what this phenomenon was all about. Even though it's only been gone since 2001, it seems like ECW disappeared off our radar screens even long ago. My take on this whole thing is that if it is done correctly, it will be a smash success. And by "done correctly", I mean that Vince has to try and keep his fingers out of the pie. Let Heyman run it the way he used to, and see what happens. Except this time, make sure everyone actually gets paid.
WWE is still trying to land a timeslot for ECW on the USA Network. No deal has been reached yet but most within WWE are confident that a deal will be reached. The general feeling is that ECW really needs a TV timeslot and cannot be an internet-only promotion: They've got to get on television to make this thing work. As much as everyone seems to be moving forward with the whole technology thing, I don't see a brand dedicated strictly to the internet getting enough attention to be viable. Surely, USA can pony up a Sunday night slot for the producers of their highest-rated program, can't they?
Hulk Hogan to launch new energy drink: There's so many jokes involving steroids just there for the taking, and yet I will be the bigger man and not touch one of them.
DX to Reunite: Peaches and Herb would be soooooooooo proud. Yes, Triple H and Shawn Micheals will be reunited, and it feels so good, baby. In another nostalgic move, WWE will bring back the original bad boys of DX. I personally can't wait, as it has been far too long since a fourth grader has been suspended for doing a crotch chop. Plus, I miss the old DX theme song, anyway.
As reported on Tuesday, RAW did a 4.0 rating this week. The hour ratings were 3.9 and 4.1.AM RAW did a 0.5 rating while the 2AM Saturday/Sunday morning replay did a 1.0 rating.
Smackdown last week finished with a 2.3 rating: It's amazing to me how many people watch RAW religiously who don't even bother with Smackdown. Maybe it's the Friday night thing, or the fact that WWE has pretty much treated SD as the poor, sick cousin. Whatever the reason, it would be nice to see Smackdown somehow pull itself up at least closer to what RAW is pulling, as far as ratings. They still do rather well, posting that 2.3, but with a little tender, loving care care, WWE's "other" brand could do so much more.
TNA brings in Lex Luger, Buff Bagwell, and Rick Steiner for cameo appearances: I would actually love to see the Steiner brothers tag up again in TNA. Probably won't ever happen, but I can dream about a Steiner reunion, can't I??? Matches between them and AMW or Team 3D would be sweet. Also, I would imagine that Scotty is pretty much limited to working tag bouts, anyway. As far as Luger and Buff are concerned, I can take them or leave them.
Ring of Honor news: Who am I kidding? I got nothin'.
The Made-Up News... ECW re-launch is revealed to be a hoax: Vince McMahon startled the wrestling world by announcing that the rumored ECW re-launch was actually just a joke. The folks at Titan Towers felt like this would be a good way to measure the gullibility of the internet crowd. Vince, in a prepared statement, said that he decided to jerk all of our chains BECAUSE HE CAN. In a related note, Paul Heyman has been hospitalized and will seek therapy for post-traumatic stress disorder.
Mick Foley to star in reality series: Following in the footsteps of Hulk Hogan, the master of the mandible claw will star in "Foley is Good", airing on Sunday nights on MTV. One provision of his contract is that he promises not appear nude on camera.
Gratuitous Reference to a Fellow 411 writer...
Grayson Hamill's "Butterfly Effect" is fresh and unique. Like all good wrestling columns, he takes a different approach in viewing the industry. The kid's also got moxie, I tell you. And moxie will carry you a long way in this business. Read his stuff to see what level of moxie he actually possesses.
A Quick Shout Out...
To my good friend, Josh McLaughlin. Not only is he one of the world's most knowledgible wrestling fans, but he also got me my current job. He's a loyal friend and an overall good dude. Also, he can drink his weight in beer, which is a fairly remarkable feat in and of itself. Word up, Josh.
That's just about the last ride for this cowboy, folks. I will return next week as the same drunken, raving, naked lunatic that I always am. Hopefully by then, things will have settled down a little bit for me, and we can spend a few more sentences together. I know how much you miss me when I'm gone.
Okay, probably not. But, it sounded good.
In the meantime, sloppy kisses to all your pink parts. Behave yourselves this week and enjoy some of that great ‘rasslin' on the tube. Also, feel free to e-mail me and tell me how lovable I am. Also, feel free to e-mail me with complaints about Csonka, as his inbox is usually too full of hate mail to respond to all of it. Have a great week.
