The Wrestling News Experience: 06.12.06
Posted by Stephen Randle on 06.12.2006
It says "wrestling" in the title here, too.
Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I'm Stephen Randle, and I've never, ever, had a one night stand. Granted, I've never had an any night stand, but it's the first part that's more relevant to the topic at hand.
ECW is under way, and last night was the real kickoff, as One Night Stand 2006 kicked off, and here's what you missed if you're like me and had to work. Or just didn't want to pay the 40 bucks, whichever.
PPV In Review - ECW One Night Stand 2006
Larry covered the show live, Dunn has the Breakdown, and Kent has Violent Panda, just in case my lazy quick and dirty results aren't enough for you. And if they are, you need to raise your standards.
Tazz defeated Jerry Lawler with the Tazzmission in under a minute
Well, when you figure that neither guy should be wrestling anymore, plus Tazz had to commentate an entire PPV afterwards, you kind of see why it had to happen. All anyone wanted to see was Lawler get choked out anyway.
Kurt Angle defeated Randy Orton with the Anklelock Version II
Ahhh, nothing like seeing Kurt Angle literally beat the crap out of Randy Orton to make you feel all warm and cuddly inside. I guess I'll have to get the DVD now. Also, nice touch by the crowd to chant "boring" for every Orton chinlock. Now if we could just get WWE crowds to do that, he might be forced to learn a moveset.
The FBI defeated Super Crazy and Tajiri with double Muscle Busters
Oh my God, they're stealing Joe's finisher and giving it to cruiserweights! Nah, just kidding.
The Big Show destroys the FBI, Super Crazy, Tajiri, and Mikey Whipwreck
Because he's big, that's why. Okay, I kid, the Big Show has been quite good for a couple years now, matches with Kane notwithstanding. Pencil random wrestlers in for a chokeslam every week for the twelve weeks that ECW will be airing at first.
JBL cuts a promo on ECW fans
We bring it on ourselves, really we do. Also, JBL has been announced as the new colour commentator on Smackdown. Hey, it lets him do what he does best: talk a whole lot. And hey, less Michael Cole can't be a bad thing.
Rey Mysterio and Sabu fought to a no-contest following a triple-jump DDT through a table. Rey Mysterio retains the World Heavyweight Championship
Enough high-flying spots to be passable, but very spotty from all indications. Probably the best Sabu match in a few years.
Edge, Mick Foley, and Lita defeated Tommy Dreamer, Terry Funk, and Beulah when Edge Speared Beulah
Your garbage match for the night, with all sorts of blood and fire and barbed wire and all those things that make fans go "ooooooh" with anticipation. Barbarians. Didn't expect that result, though. Although Edge did pin the woman, which would be in character. Plus, he's the number one contender and Dreamer and Funk are, well...not.
Balls Mahoney defeated Masato Tanaka with a chairshot
Just a filler match to remind people that yes, there are ECW wrestlers wrestling on this ECW PPV.
Eugene cuts a promo and it beaten up by the Sandman
Pretty much what you'd expect, I doubt you need play-by-play
RVD "defeated" John Cena with shenanigans to apparently win the WWE Championship
Can you say "Dusty Finish"? I knew you could! I'm fairly sure Paul Heyman's not a referee. Hey, it sent the fans home happy, but tune into Nitro tomorrow to find out who really gets to keep the title!
All in all, it was different than last year's event, which it had to be, because last year was about nostalgia, and this year was about creating a third brand. Which would suggest they actually put some work into the other two, but hey, what do I know? I'll recommend the replay if you missed it.
Around The Horn
You guys crashed our site with record amounts of traffic again! That's getting more and more impressive following all the upgrades. As a result, though, half of this section was done from memory of news bites from the last little while. So it's really your own fault.
John "Earthquake" Tenta passed away this past week after a long battle with cancer. Tenta was hated by the fans during his wrestling career, and beloved by them afterwards, especially for his continual writings at WrestleCrap.com. He was a great human being, and will be missed. John Tenta was 42.
See No Evil continues to exist at the box office, earning just under another million dollars last week to raise the total to $14 million dollars. I should check if it's out-earned every single Hulk Hogan movie, just in the hopes that Hogan will snap and try and make another one.
Meanwhile, WWE Wreckless intent fell a fair distance down the Billboard charts to #37, which as totally expected as every wrestling fan who buys those things (including me) already bought one. It's not really an expanding market, is what I'm saying.
Lots of ECW news bites littering the page, but most of them were spoilers and became irrelevant a couple hours ago when the PPV went on the air. Well, that's what you get for reading the Monday news report.
The most important news, of course, is that there still is no deal to air ECW in Canada at this time. Come on, TSN, what else are you going to air all summer on Tuesdays? More reruns of Friday Night Fights?
WWE has done it again, possibly spoiling the main event for Great American Bash. I warn all people who are visiting 411 for the first time not to read the next sentence if they do not want the main event spoiled. I'm not kidding. I'm just going to say it. The next words you read will be the main event for Great American Bash. Apparently, it's going to be Batista vs Mark Henry. Feel free to cry.
And before I leave this segment, apparently most of the credit for the rating of the WWE vs ECW special is being given to John Cena. Of course, it was only a 3.1 rating, so one must look at what was missing, since Raw gets a 4.0. And when you put it all together, there's really only one, large, noticeable difference. A complete and total lack of Mr. McMahon's ass. You see, you people bring it on us all by yourselves. You just can't help but watch, and then he gets to justify doing it again. I hope DX is worth this.
The Injury Bug Bites
Inactive List as of 06.05.06
WWE
- Batista, SD!, out until July 7 (triceps injury)
- Chris Benoit, SD!, out indefinitely as of May 26 (general injury)
- Chris Jericho, out indefinitely (kayfabe, fired)
- Eric Bischoff, RAW, out indefinitely as of December 5, 2005 (kayfabe, fired)
- Hardcore Holly, SD!, out indefinitely (staph infection)
- JBL, SD!, out indefinitely as of May 26 (kayfabe, quit)
- Joey Mercury, SD!, out indefinitely as of May 22 (rehab)
- Ken Kennedy, SD!, out six months as of December 5, 2005 (torn lat muscle)
- Randy Orton, SD!, out a minimum of 60 days as of April 12, 2006 (suspension)
- Rene Dupree, RAW, out indefinitely as of September 20 (hernia)
- Shawn Michaels, RAW, day-to-day as of May 22 (knee)
- The Boogeyman, SD!, out four months as of April 2 (torn biceps)
- Trish Stratus, RAW, out six weeks as of April 30 (dislocated shoulder)
- Val Venis, RAW, out 6-8 weeks as of April 3 (shoulder surgery)
TNA
- Austin Aries, TNA, out two months as of February (suspension)
- Jeff Hardy, TNA, out indefinitely (informal suspension)
Transactions
- Beth Phoenix, RAW, out two months as of June 6 (jaw)
Ouch. Well, what other females from Mickie's past have they got hidden away? I've got money that says that Victoria turns on her next.
- Big Show, RAW, transferred to ECW
Well, it's a whole new frontier for him, at least. I know people were saying it made ECW seem like it was being headed by WWE guys (of course, they're ALL WWE guys now), but you know, it's the Big Show. He was going to turn on someone sooner or later, it might as well be turning on WWE.
- JBL, SD!, named new Smackdown colour commentator on June 11, will begin this week
I have to say, that name didn't really pop up in my head, though perhaps it should have. There are rumblings that JBL may not return to the ring ever, and this would be the best way to transition him to retirement. Hey, it worked for Tazz.
- Ken Kennedy, SD!, returned to action June 9
And apparently he's a lot smaller. As Larry would say, WELLNESS. Well, that's okay, you don't need to be that big on Smackdown. Just bigger than the current champion.
- Randy Orton, RAW, returned from suspension (early) and moved to Raw for no discernible reason
I mentioned this in the Roundtable, but I'm almost certain that he's on Raw so that Triple H, Vince, and several other high authority figures can keep him in line. Also, now that he's no longer a relatively big fish in the small heel pond that was Smackdown, maybe he'll stop feeling so entitled.
One Year Ago This Experience
Originally posted 06.13.05, and I was having a career renaissance. Nice to get that out of the way at 24. But seriously, ECW One Night Stand was something that touched me as a wrestling fan. This year's event didn't have the same vibe, but last year, I was truly happy.
And the annual WWE draft lottery was underway, as I introduced Wrestling News Experience Senior Draft Lottery Correspondent Stephen Randle. He wasn't very funny, but I was trying, dammit. I guess the Daily Show just has the market cornered on that gimmick. Besides, admitting I talk to myself just keeps giving people more proof for the insanity case building against me.
And I missed the Rock. Awwww.
I still do, by the way.
Links For Fun And Nonprofit
As mentioned, Larry had live coverage of One Night Stand, Dunn had the Breakdown, and Kent had Violent Panda.
And Carapola looks at the disintegration of the nWo in That Was Then.
The Gab Bag
Raflar the Wanderer got to me the morning after my column got posted last week and showed me that the TSN.ca broadcast schedule changed within the ten hours after I posted my column and went to sleep, woke up and checked my email. Those bastards. Rest assured, such a thing will never happen again. Well, it will, but it won't be my fault. Raw is on at 9 for everyone tonight, if you were interested.
Ron wants to know when Ric Flair is returning, possibly to feud with Umaga. Well, I couldn't say for sure, I do know he's taken advantage of the break to get re-married, and since he's Ric Flair, who knows how long the honeymoon could last? If he's coming back at all, I'd say it'll be sometime after SummerSlam, unless they have a dire need of him for storyline purposes.
Manu Bomb provided me with some interesting anecdotes about Randy Orton, as well as several women he knew (in response to an email from last week), but in the interests of remaining basically a family column (I don't even swear or nothing! Well, barely. Less than Larry), we'll keep the stories between us.
And BT wrote back to continue with his idea of wrestlers getting vacations, including a change in salary structure where time off is paid for and money is more guaranteed, but merchandise wouldn't be a part of the salary. The problem I see, and he saw it too, is that this system now relies on WWE Creative to keep fan interest up in a wrestler so that it's worth paying him. Also, I sense the wrestlers wouldn't like losing merchandising revenue, but it would depend on how good the guaranteed salaries were. And it might cause wrestlers to stop paying attention to their own merchandise, thus giving us more shirts like that "Are U Talking 2 Me?" Batista abortion they tried to make last year.
And One To Go On
Well, ECW is up and running, and nobody can tell what the future will hold. Well, I can, but I'm not telling. Okay, I'll give you a hint:
411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT, as Triple H must face the Spirit Squad because Vince McMahon is crazy! Also, John Cena will face Edge. Plus, the fate of the WWE Championship will likely be decided. All that, plus Larry will be here tomorrow and I'll be back next week.
