Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People 07.13.06: Guerilla Sizing
Posted by Ryan Byers on 07.13.2006
SoCal indy darling PWG is on sale! I'll tell you where and review a match in which a bag of take out from Chipotle is used as a foreign object. It doesn't get any better.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. This week we've got a column that I've been attempting to do for the last month and a half or so, only to be thwarted just about every time. Rather than rambling anymore, let's just get right in to it.
Cheap Wrestling Tip #44: Guerilla Sizing
We've seen Pro Wrestling Guerilla in this column before, and things have only gotten better for the company since that last review. The group has continued to run fairly successful shows and has been able to bring in even bigger and bigger names, including talent from Dragon Gate for their upcoming Battle of Los Angeles tournament this September. Another big step for the company has been their expansion in to European market, including a few tours of the continent that have since been released on DVD. Highspots.com, the official distributor of PWG home video, has recently created an excellent deal for Guerilla fans, a package in which you can snatch up three DVDs of the foreign shows, as well as selecting any other PWG DVD in stock. The cost of all this? $35, which is less than $9 per disc for those of you who are too lazy to do your own math. It's a great deal for fans, particularly those of you who may want to get acquainted with the British wrestlers that PWG interacted with during their tours. On top of that, you'll get one domestic show, and I'm about to acquaint you with one of your options . . .
Title: Uncanny X-Mas Released By: Pro Wrestling Guerilla Release Year: 2004 Run Time: 180 minutes Found At:This link. Price: $8.75 (as part of a package deal)
Match Numero Uno: Human Tornado & Ronin vs. Top Gun Talwar & Excalibur
Ronin and Excalibur start things off, meaning we get the extreme pleasure of hearing Excalibur calling one of his own matches, always a treat. Ronin gets a headlock to start, and he blocks Ex's knee in order to emerge as the clear victor of your opening sequence. Tornado and Talwar check in, with armbars being the order of the day. Tornado rolls out of the ring and comes back in with a bag full of food from Chipotle, which is the Achilles heel of Top Gun. The meal gets tossed out of the ring, and Talwar follows it, which sets up a tope from the Human Tornado. All four men start brawling on the outside at this point, and Talwar gets Irish whipped through a door and out of the building. A confused Excalibur heads out to look for him, but Talwar reappears from the other side of the building and lariats Tornado. That sets up a tag to Ex, who hits a suplex and goes to the chinlock. A jumping knee in the corner follows, and now it's time for the camel clutch. Ronin tries to run in, but that just allows the illegal switch from Excalibur to Talwar, who chokes the Tornado and bites his hands. There's an elbowdrop from Top, and a bulldog follows up for two. Excalibur is back in to the ring, and he hits a delayed backdrop suplex before heading in to the Chris Jericho arrogant cover. It gets two, and Excalibur gets a tag to Top Gun. He runs in to a boot and almost gets hit by a Human Tornado DDT, but it's reversed at the last second. A shoulder tackle connects from Top Gun, but he gets distracted by the crowd and brings Excalibur back in. He refuses to run in to the boot but is pimp slapped to set up the Human Tornado DDT. That's your prelude to the hot tag, and Ronin trades forearms with Talwar. Ronin wins the sequence and hits a neat twisting brainbuster to set up some manner of top rope move from Tornado. Excalibur cuts it off and GERMAN SUPLEXES Human Tornado off the top rope. Ronin's right on Excalibur and hits a Death Valley Driver, but Top Gun breaks up the pinning predicament. Talwar then hits an inverted DDT, but Tornado breaks up that pin attempt and hits a bizarre suplex to finish the match off at 11:49.
Match Thoughts: This was not just a good opening match for the show in isolation, but it's also a good introduction to PWG for those individuals who may not have seen the company in the past. It wasn't a technically solid, cohesive wrestling match, but you did have two men in the ring (Excalibur and Tornado) who are quite entertaining and two men (Talwar and Ronin) who could keep up with them well enough. It was a fairly interesting combination of eye popping highspots and some comedy that even managed to get a chuckle out of a fan like me who's seen just about everything. It's not a match worth going out of your way to see, but it definitely contributes to making the card solid overall. **1/4
Match Numero Dos: Tony Stradlin vs. Christopher Daniels
Stradlin, who has since been signed to a WWE developmental contract, was doing a losing streak gimmick heading in to this match and has to win in order for his PWG career to continue. Perhaps even more exciting is the fact that Colt Cabana joins the announcing team during this match and sticks around for the rest of the show. In all honesty, it's worth the whole price of the DVD to hear his comedic stylings.
The two men lock up to start, and that leads in to a sequence on the mat during which nobody can really get an advantage. It's good stuff, but I can't imagine anybody here wants to read a move-for-move transcription of "he reversed that, then he reversed that, then another guy reversed that." Stradlin gets the first prolonged advantage of the match, working over the arm of the Fallen Angel, but Daniels changes the momentum by hitting a kneelift and then stomping away at his opponent. He then hits a gutbuster out of a vertical suplex position, which looked a bit nasty. He also blocks a Stradlin sunset flip with an elbowdrop, but then Tony comes back with some snug European uppercuts. Daniels blocks a hiptoss and turns it in to an abdominal stretch, though, but I somehow doubt that will get a submission. Stradlin eventually powers out of it and gets his hiptoss, though the Angel is right back on top of him with a spear, which looked a bit ridiculous given the size difference between the two men. Daniels then stretches his opponent a little bit more and hits a second gutbuster just in case you couldn't figure out what his game plan was. Stradlin suckers Daniels in to a Rocker Dropper to start off his comeback, and there's a series of clotheslines and set up low elevation back body drop. Daniels is then hung out to dry over the top rope, and Stradlin comes off the turnbuckles with a flipping senton as the Angel hangs there. He tries to follow up on that beautiful move but runs in to the turnbuckles and gets hit with an enzuguri. There's the blue thunder bomb from Daniels, but his attempt to come off of the middle rope is blocked when Stradlin pops up off the mat and delivers a roundhouse kick to the Angel's head. He still manages to hit the uranagi, but the BME misses. That's the prelude to a Stradlin rolling elbow for two, and both men are on dream street. Daniels gets a flatliner, and here's an attempt at the Angel's Wings. Tony blocks it and rolls through, however, getting his man in to a pinning combination and bringing the match to a close at 15:43.
Match Thoughts: Quality matchup between these two men here, proving that Stradlin can at the very least be carried by a competent wrestler, thus making him better than about 75% of the guys that WWE has brought up from their developmental rosters recently. Unfortunately this probably means that they'll keep him off of TV for the next three years before ultimately releasing him or bringing him in as Eugene's pedophile cousin. As far as the match itself is concerned, it was a competently booked and performed upset victory for Stradlin, as he kept competitive enough to prevent his pinfall to looking like a total fluke. On top of that, Daniels had a solid strategy of working over Tony's midsection for the entire match, which helped the audience believe that he could end the it with the Angel's Wings, making the finish even more dramatic when the expected did not occur. **3/4
Match Numero Tres: Austin Aries vs. Chris Hero
This is being billed as the first match ever between the two men. Aries establishes himself as the heel early on by letting the crowd know that he doesn't celebrate Christmas. We're on the mat to start, and there are a ton of kip ups before Hero applies his trademark cravat. Austin responds in kind, but Hero rolls through and gets back in to his own version of the hold after a series of funky armbar reversals. An extended headlock from Aries is next, but he runs in to a dropkick while attempting a shoulderblock. That sets up a dive fake from Hero, and Austin is back body dropped when he gets back in to the ring. Hero then goes to the spinning toe hold, which is transformed in to a hold that is almost a kneeling figure four. The two men exchange blows while in the hold, and now we're back to the Hero cravat. He beals Aries out of the cravat and in to the buckles, and here's another figure four variation for the CZW standout. The cravat beal is repeated in the opposite corner, but Aries responds with a luck boot to the jaw. A dropkick connects as well, which is just great for somebody who was selling his leg ten seconds ago. Hero fires back with chops and jumps over a kneelift in a neat spot, though he can't avoid the enzuguri from Aries. A high elbowdrop is next from the former TNA wrestler, and now he's kicking again, completely ignoring any leg work done earlier in the match. Chris Hero bridges out of the pinning combination "like a Japanese woman" according to Excalibur. God, I want to marry that man.
Aries then hits a kneelift and his pendulum elbowdrop, and here comes the cobra clutch. Hero looks like he's going to do a surprisingly stereotypical comeback, but Aries snaps him back in to a backbreaker. He finally remembers to sell the knee after doing that move, but he stays on Hero long enough to get on a crossface variation. Hero is quick to make the ropes, though, and he mounts his comeback with a dragon screw variation. There's a back elbow and a big Yakuza kick from Christopher, and he knocks Aries out of the ring with a forearm. That sets up a tope suicida, and it looks like it destroyed some poor fan's bag of McDonald's. When we go back to the inside, Hero slaps on a version of the Indian deathlock, and hopefully Aries takes his leg injury to heart tonight. He doesn't, immediately hitting a backdrop suplex and his brainbuster with no problem. He then goes back to his crossface variant, but the ropes are made once more. A powerbomb is attempted, but Hero reverses it in to the Alabama slam, which leads in to a senton for two. Here's a version of the STF, but Hero loses his grip halfway through the hold, so that's a lost cause. He hits another dragon screw, but Aries cuts off a top rope move and hits his 450. He landed on his knee, though, so it takes him a while to cover and therefore costs him the three count. Rolling backdrop suplexes from Hero hit when the men get back up to their feet, and he rolls through the second one for a kneecrusher. The Texas Cloverleaf is applied, and Aries tapes at 20:51.
Match Thoughts: You probably picked up on the fact that Aries not selling his leg injury as much as he should have annoyed me a little bit, but it wasn't quite enough to destroy what was otherwise a very entertaining match. There was a good hybrid here of hard hitting, strong-style-esque moves with mat wrestling in the early going that was smooth, innovative and reminiscent of what you would get if you combined 1970's American wrestling with a more British style. That may mean it's not for everybody, since I know that some individuals find such matches rather boring. However, if you're somebody who can appreciate something that doesn't have a highspot every twenty seconds and instead relies on stretches that men must stay up for hours at night thinking of, this is the match for you. It was certainly the match for me. ***
Match Numero Cuatro: The Aerial Express (Scorpio Sky & Quicksilver) vs. El Generico & Kevin Steen
Generico kicks it off with Scorpio, and Sky takes his man down with ease and dominates on the mat. Generico fires back with some leglocks, but Scorpio catches him a quick rollup for two and then uses the break in momentum to tag Quicksilver. Generico takes over on him quickly and heads in to an early Fujiwara armbar, though Silver slips out. Generico stays on top of his man and tags Steen in for a headlock off of the second rope (no, that's not a typo). Quicksliver goes on a real hot streak, though, firing off a rana and prompting Steen to tag Generico back in. He fares better than his partner, hitting a leg lariat, a scoop slam, and a standing moonsault for two. He runs in to an elbow and gets backdropped by Quicksilver, and that sets up a flying back elbow. Sky gets tagged in for the double team, which is a back body drop, and Scorpio starts dropping elbows on his opponent's back. There's a suplex as well, and Quicksilver tags back in for a camel clutch/Boston crab combo. For some reason, Steen doesn't save as Generico gets kicked in the face. When he does try to run in, he gets tossed to the floor, but Generico rallies for his team by avoiding another two man back body drop. Steen tags himself in to the match at this point, and he gets a Kryptonite Crunch for two. Scorpio Sky saves, and Steen attempts the same move on him, only to fuck it up. He does get a gutbuster in, but Quicksilver slaps him the face to break up the pin. Steen tries for a wheelbarrow suplex, but Scorpio hits a GREAT spot in which he runs up his own partner's back to enzuguri Steen. Generico reinserts himself in to the match at this point, trying some sort of head droppy finisher on Sky. That fails when Steen accidentally hits his own partner, and now Scorpio Sky hits a dive on Generico. Quicksilver tries for one as well, but Steen cuts him off with a lariat. A wicked backbreaker/moonsault combination hits for the Canadians, but it cannot end the match. Generico then sets up for his second rope brainbuster, but Quicksilver shoves him off and in to a Scorpio Sky frog splash. Steen follows with a missile dropkick on to Scorpio, but he's taken out as well. Generico hits a head and shoulders suplex on Quicksilver, and now everybody is down. Generico and Quicksilver take out correpsonding members of the opposition and now start trading HARD forearms before Quicksilver hits a spinebuster for a nearfall. He goes up to the top rope after that but is cut off. Generico attempts the brainbuster from the second rope, but it's FUCKED UP ROYALLY! Quicksilver winds up twisting in midair somehow before landing stomach first over the top rope and falling out of the ring. Scorpio Sky and Kevin Steen hit the ring to improvise a finish, which consists of Sky reversing Steen's package piledriver in to a backslide for the three count. Things wrapped up at 14:42.
After the match, Santa Claus hits the ring and gives gifts to Generico and Steen. Mr. Wrestling makes sure that he has his before kicking Generico in the gut and landing his package piledriver. It's a shame when friends fight at a holiday celebration.
Match Thoughts: Wow. In the history of fucked up finishes, I honestly cannot think of a finish I've seen that was more spectacularly fucked up than this one. It was so bad that literally everything else from the match was erased from my mind. This means that a.) the match up to that point was fairly unspectacular and b.) the finish was absolutely horrid. *1/4, though you may want to view it just for the train wreck factor.
Match Numero Cinco: Super Dragon (c) vs. Johnny Storm for the PWG Championship
There's a headscissors to start by Storm, but Dragon kips out quickly. The two men exchange holds on the mat, but Dragon opens things up with an armdrag and a rana. Chops are traded at this point, and a double shoulderblock sends both men to the mat. It's back to basics now, as the two fight over a lockup and roll out to the floor while still tied up in the hold. Usually I love that spot, but this one came off as pretty flat. They're back in to the ring immediately, and leg locks are exchanged in the center. Dragon catches a headlock when that's done, but it's just the setup to more reversals as opposed to a sustained advantage. In the middle of that is a nice bit by Storm in which he does a headstand while in an armbar, and that leads in to an armbar of his own. Somehow he winds up on the top rope out of that move and flips off of it and in to an armdrag. Dragon treats it like nothing happened and goes back to Storm's leg, though his hold is reversed in to Johnny's version of the sharpshooter, which in time becomes an STF variant. Dragon reverses by rolling over on to his back and kicking Storm in the face and applying a full nelson with his legs. That's dubbed the "Full Nelson Mandela" by Colt Cabana, which maybe the greatest move name on the planet. After a couple of minutes in that, Storm tries to reverse by rolling it in to a pinning predicament. That's not so successful, but he does slip out and winds up in a mounted position. He uses that position to drive knees in to Dragon's gut, but Supes no-sells and hits a double stomp. Storm no-sells THAT and hits a springboard rana from the second rope, followed up by a forearm smash and a facebuster/enzuguri combo. Dragon rolls to the outside to escape the onslaught, but Johnny follows him out with a high elevation plancha. That gets two back on the inside, and Storm BADLY botches a moonsault body block, coming up a foot short. He would've landed directly on his head if Dragon didn't run up to make the catch. After saving his opponent from the head drop, Supes gives him a tombstone, which has to be some form of irony. The Curb Stomp follows up just to kill the poor bastard deader than dead.
A wacky lucha submission is then applied so Storm can get a bit of a rest, and now both men are up to the second rope. Dragon goes for a backdrop driver, but Johnny rolls through in to a body press and gets a nearfall. He heads back to the top after that, giving Dragon a rana to the floor. That's a risky move, but they actually did it just about as safely as possible, with Dragon landing flat on his back. Up next is a double stomp off of the ring apron by Storm, though he takes too long getting Dragon back in to the ring and can only get a two count. Johnny then attempts a dragonrana from the second rope, but Dragon blocks it, only to walk in to an in-ring version of the move. It only gets two, as does a Storm package piledriver. Storm's subsequent moonsault misses, thus killing his momentum and leaving him open for a double stomp. Dragon comes off of the top rope with another stomp, this one to the back of Storm's head . . . though that also won't end the match. Then, in one of the greatest moments in wrestling history, a fat fan's chair gives out at ringside, sending him tumbling to the floor. Instead of focusing on the match, the camera PANS OVER TO IT, completely breaking up the flow of the contest between these two men. When I recover from my fit of laughter, Storm does actually hit his top rope dragonrana, though he is delayed in making the cover and gets two. Storm's version of the Curb Stomp hits, but Dragon refuses to sell and gets a sunset flip for his own two count. He gets a dragon suplex for yet another nearfall that should have been the finish, and Dragon's roaring elbow sets up a second rope blue thunder bomb. That finally ends the match at 28:21.
Match Thoughts: Normally I am somewhat entertained by Super Dragon, but this was a bad, bad match. Personally, I blame Johnny Storm, who I've never seen anything good out of despite the fact that British fans want to hype him as some sort of wrestling messiah. (Well, it could be worse. He could be Jodie Fleisch.) Not only was the match bad, but it was also long, which made everything all the worse. They did some stuff that would probably get a lot of "holy shit" chants if they did it in front of an east coast crowd, but, honestly, that's ALL the match consisted of. There was no attempt at telling a story, there was no more than two seconds of selling, and there was no drama whatsoever. It was just two guys going out there and nearly killing each other for a bunch of ans who would have been just as happy if they spent twenty minutes trading holds on the mat. This was the very epitome of everything that an old timer has ever complained about when watching today's wrestling, and it got flat-out painful by the twenty minute mark. That meant that the last eight and a half minutes were pure torture, and I probably wouldn't watch this match again if you paid me. DUD
However, the man who squashed his chair is ***** entertainment.
Match Numero Seis: Spanky w/ Knuckles vs. Colt Cabana
Cabana works the mic before the match, letting us know what he got for Chanukah and doing his impression of what Spanky sounded like when he left the WWF. It's a knucklelock to start, and that's the prelude to plenty of basic yet proficient mat wrestling. Cabana breaks out of that by faking a second rope cross body and hitting a sunset flip, which leads in to a unique variation on the fish out of water sequence in which both men wind up getting repeated simultaneous pinfalls on each other. Cabana then does a fabulous flip out of a headlock, throwing Spanky off of his game a bit. Now it's time for the shoulderblocks that go nowhere, which Cabana follows up with an armdrag/bar. Spanky escapes and sends his man to the arena floor, prompting Knuckles to get in some cheap shots (for cheap people). That allows Spanky to take over on the inside, engaging in all manners of chinlockery before Colt backs him in to the buckles. That leads in to the two men knocking heads in the middle of the ring, and that allows them to rest for a bit before Spanky applies the cobra clutch. It's reversed in to a Samoan drop by Cabana, but the move has little effect, and the men are trading punches quickly thereafter. Eventually the ref gets decked accidentally, and Knuckles runs in for a heart punch on Cabana. Colt moves out of the way, and Spanky is accidentally nailed. Cabana tries to revive him with the world's worst CPR, and, when that doesn't work, he just rakes his eye. Knuckles responds by applying the iron claw, but Colt powers out and rolls up Spanky for two. A hiptoss is next for the Chicago native, and now it's a rope runnner sequence. Spanky hits a superkick after a couple of quick pinning combinations. Cabana goes for the 45, Spanky goes for the Sliced Bread, and Cabana gets a rollup out of nowhere to end the match at 14:17.
Match Thoughts: This was similar to the opening match on the card, in which the competitors alternated between comedy and actual wrestling action. However, instead of the indy-riffic highspots of the first match, these guys focused more on mat work, which is one of the strongest parts of Cabana's game. (And Spanky isn't bad at it either.) So the comedy was funny in isolation and the wrestling was good in isolation, but they didn't mesh together all that well, as there were no smooth transitions between the two segments of the match. I'm sure that these two could be much better if they chose to either do straight wrestling or straight comedy. However, this was apparently not the night for it. *1/2
Match Numero Siete: Arrogance (Chris Bosh & Scott Lost) (c) vs. The Havana Bitbulls (Rocky Romero & Ricky Reyes)
Bosh and Reyes lock up to start, and Christopher opens up with a kneelift and an attempt at a big boot. It misses, and the Pitbulls immediately hit their finisher, the Cuban Missile Crisis. Yes, they did their finish a minute and a half in to the match. Scott Lost saves and gets a gutbuster on Reyes, followed up by a dropsault. Forearms and kicks are now being traded by the two men, and Reyes comes out on top of things before tagging in Romero, who goes to the eyes. Bosh makes his way back in to the ring at this point, and he's me with a trip/low dropkick combo from the Pitbulls. That gets two, and Reyes stays in the ring, dumping his opponent gut first over the top rope for another nearfall. He brings in Romero for a unique submission which looks to combine an abdominal stretch and an armbar. A simple headlock follows that, and Romero goes to a headscissors when Bosh escapes. He eventually turns that in to a takedown, after which he suckers Bosh in to the Lady of the Lake. That sets up a tag to Reyes, and a biiiiig kick connects, as does the sleeper hold. Bosh gets out of it with a jawbreaker, and there's the tag to Lost, although it's anything but hot if you listen to the crowd. He gets a roundhouse kick on Reyes and hits a vertical suplex and clamps on a rear chinlock. Ricky elbows out but is caught with a knee, and they do an interesting bit in which they fight over Reyes being able to make his tag. It wasn't a traditional wrestling sequence . . . it just looked like two men rolling around in a struggle to prevent something from happening. Reyes eventually does get the tag, but Lost hits Romero with a backdrop suplex and tags in Lost. He only stays in long enough to hit a fisherman's suplex on Rocky, and now Lost is back for an old school choke hold on the ropes. Things spill to the outside at this point, with Bosh driving Romero's back in to the ringpost. The Arrogance member is hit with a headbutt and some chops when he gets back in to the ring, and Lost and Reyes are tagged in. They do a double clothesline spot, and everybody's down for a little while. There's another double tag from the two teams, and Bosh clotheslines Romero, though he manages to hit a kneelift rather quickly thereafter. He also slaps the hell out of Lost for good measure and gives him a double stomp off of the second rope. That distraction allows Bosh to go after Romero, but his offense is reversed in to a guillotine choke, which is rolled in to a pinning combination for two. A sweet clothesline/backbreaker comob gets Bosh back on the offense and sets up double tag number three. Reyes hits a Northern lights on Lost, but Scott quickly responds with a Diamond Cutter. All of the wrestlers lay down for a while, and Lost throws a title belt in to the ring while the referee checks on Romero. The Aerial Express run in for the save at this point, hitting Lost with the belt and unintentionally handing Arrogance the DQ victory at 17:38. The Pitbulls attack the Express for their mistake, and we've got a fun little brawl that keeps the audience from chanting "bullshit" for too long.
Match Thoughts: This was a very odd tag team match, beginning with the Pitbulls hitting their finisher right at the start and continuing through to the end of the contest. There was absolutely no build to anything, as the four men seemingly tagged out to each other at random, including the very bizarre bit in which there were three straight simultaneous tags. As somebody who is not that dedicated of a follower of the promotion, it made it very difficult to discern who the heels and who the faces were. It also made it hard for the crowd to get in to the match, as it did not follow the traditional tag team formula. Granted, I get tired of that formula from time to time, but, if you're going to deviate from it, it's better to deviate in small ways as opposed to throwing the whole darn thing out of the window. As it stood, the men wound up hitting a good spot here and a good spot there, but I was so confused by the structure and what they were attempting to accomplish that the good moves lost their impact. *
Match Numero Ocho: Samoa Joe vs. American Dragon
****1/2. Oh, sorry. That's just a gut reaction to seeing these two men paired up against each other. Joe goes to the leg early on, but Danielson stands up while still in the leglock and floats over in to an armbar. There are some incredibly quick exchanges on the mat after that, and both men pop up to get some applause from the crowd. Now it's in to the knuckle lock, and Dragon changes that in to a standing surfboard when Joe gets the advantage. That's broken up when Danielson decides to pull on his opponent's face, and now we've got an armbar. Joe quickly picks AmDrag's heel to get out of that, and it's the half crab for the halfbreed. Dragon tries for the cross arm breaker, but the men wind up in the ropes. Joe takes him down with a big shoulderblock to the surprise of absolutely nobody, but we're quickly back in to Dragon's wristlock. It looks like Joe is going to power out of it, but Dragon hits a standing dropkick to prevent it. Joe responds with some big forearms and kicks, knocking Danielson out of the ring for a little while. Danielson hits his own kicks when he heads back to the squared circle, and it's Joe's turn to take a powder. He returns with a belly to belly suplex and a high kneedrop, though they can only get two. Now it's chinlock time, but Danielson reverses and tries to turn it in to another surfboard. Joe hits a unique reversal, using the power of his legs (and only his legs) to throw Dragon off of him. The former X Division Champion tries to follow up with a vertical suplex, but Danielson blocks it and once again fails to hit the surfboard. He goes to the rear naked choke instead, but Joe is quickly in the ropes for the break. Danielson hits a kneedrop of his own at this point, and here's the STF. He releases that quickly and STOMPS the back of the Samoan's knee. Now Danielson heads in to the Indian deathlock, which he quickly transitions in to an even more unconventional bridging version of the hold. Again, Joe makes the ropes. Danielson charges at Joe in the corner now, and you all know what happens at this point. Yes, it's the STJoe, which is followed up by a vertical suplex. Dragon rolls out of the ring for a second time, but this time Joe hits a baseball slide instead of just staying in the ring. He positions Danielson in a chair and heads back in to the ring for the JOE-PE SUICIDA!
The two men then exchange strikes on the floor, with Joe getting the better of it and getting thrown in to a row of chairs. Danielson barely beats the count back in to the ring, but he rolls right in to the facewash. I would have just taken the count out loss. Joe just stands around and waits for Danielson to pull himself out of the corner, which leads in to some forearm trading. Joe takes Dragon down, but Bryan responds with another standing dropkick and blasts his man with a running forearm smash. A bicycle style kick connects for AmDrag, as does the swandive headbutt. They only get two. Danielson runs the ropes, but that just results in him being caught in a powerslam and then the cross arm breaker. Joe almost has it cinched in perfectly, but Danielson makes the ropes. A powerbomb looks to be next from Joe, but Dragon turns it in to a rana. The two men trade pinfalls for a bit before Joe regains control and actually lands his powerbomb. That leads in to his STF, and Danielson is bent damn near in half before getting his arm over the bottom rope. Joe looks for a lariat at this point, but Danielson grabs the arm and applies Cattle Mutilation. Perhaps because there was no work on his neck earlier in the match, Joe manages to survive and get in to the ropes. Now the dragon suplex is attempted by Dragon, but Joe blocks it. Danielson hits a German when his man lets go and follows it up with the airplane spin of all things. Bryan is so dizzy that he falls out of the ring and crotches himself when he attempts to go up to the top rope. That's the perfect setup for the muscle buster, which Joe hits to win the match at 23:13.
Match Thoughts: It's hard for these two guys to put on a match that is in any way disappointing. They definitely delivered here, giving everybody a bout that would send them home happy. There was quality mat wrestling in the early going, and the two slowly but surely started peppering the offense with more and more high impact moves until we got to the latter half of the match, with was just an all-out brawl with a couple of high end submission holds as well. Overall, the pacing was key here, as the slow build did a great job of sucking me in and holding my attention as the offense became more intense. The only thing that turned me off was the finish, which was completely out of place. The battle up to that point had been very hard hitting and serious, and Dragon making himself dizzy and screwing up moves because of it seemed more like a mid-match comedy spot than a viable finish. It also made the Dragon seem like an utter fool, and I can't imagine that's what he was actually going for. I won't go as far as saying that the finish ruined the match, but it definitely left me with a bad tasted in my mouth and knocked down the overall rating a bit. ***1/4
Final Thoughts
Number of Matches: 8 Highest Star Rating: ***1/4 Lowest Star Rating: DUD Average Star Rating: *3/4
This was not one of my favorite PWG shows, though it was still good on the whole. Things started off well enough with two solid undercard matches and a bout that would have been the best on most indy shows in the form of Hero/Aries. Things went downhill quickly from there, as Dragon/Storm was an absolute trainwreck and subsequent contests just could not turn the show around no matter how hard the competitors worked. I think that the majority of the people in those matches are quite talented and generally good wrestlers, but sometimes a promotion will just have an off night, and this appeared to be one of Guerilla's off nights. Fortunately the main event managed to salvage things a bit, as it was even better than Hero vs. Aries and sent me home happy as a fan. If you're only going to buy one PWG DVD or only have one selection in your Guerilla Sized package, I would not purchase this one. 88 Miles Per Hour, the subject of my first PWG DVD review, is a much better choice. However, there is still good stuff on this card, particularly when you combine it with the always hilarious PWG announce team. So, if you have a particular interest in either of the ***+ matches or have most of the company's other shows and are looking to round out your collection, this isn't a complete waste. My thumbs is tilting slightly up.
That does it for this week. I hope that I didn't make Bayani too angry with my somewhat negative review of his home promotion. If I don't show up for next week's column, you will all know what became of me.
