WRestling’s 3R’s 07.14.06: Flair is ECW, Eugene Main Events, RetRo TNA, The Final Build to Victory Road, King Booker Back on Top and More!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 07.14.2006
The 3R’s gets into gear with a huge edition, which will lead off the first of FOUR editions of the 3R’s in the next 7-days!
The 3R's of wRestling!
BIG REMINDER~!
I will need feedback REALLY FAST after Saturday Night's Main event, so that I can knock out that special edition of the 3R's for MONDAY! Just a reminder, and thanks in advance!
BIG ANNOUNCEMENT~!
Sometime after Saturday Night's Main Event, stay tuned to 411 as young GEOFFERY AND I will be recording our latest PODCAST~!
DELAYED INTRO~!
Short intro this week. We have a TON of stuff to get through, so thanks for clicking and enjoy the column!
Here is a quick explanation of the 3 R's. I will take the 3 main shows (4 if there is a PPV, 5 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, and WWE Smackdown. I then group my feelings on the shows in 3 categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 4th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th and even 5th R to the column, so beware of those~!
SmackDown!:
Here is my partner in crime, the man that Is a hell of a cook and is known as the Whole F'n Show, he is Geoff Eubanks!
Smackdown 07.07.06:
The Right:
The King adds another jewel to his crown – Two of my least favorite matches back-to-back this and last weeks, namely, the cage match and the battle royal (reason being for the latter, as Dunn pointed out, Paul London, Brian Kendrick, Psicosis, Super Crazy, William Regal, Finlay, Scotty 2 Hotty, Funaki, Matt Hardy, Simon Dean, Kid Kash, Jamie Noble and Mr. Kennedy haven't a realistic shot in HELL of winning the match and obtaining a WT shot). Yet again however, the execution managed to overcome the philosophical shortcomings as we had a fun little outing here tonight! I'm daring to get my hopes up with respect to another of my favorites, Matt Hardy, as he was allowed to be featured as one of the final three faces in the match, alongside the WWETTCs, London & Kendrick, opposing the King and his court, Regal & Finlay, even eliminating Finlay! Not only am I soopadoopa stoked to see Hardy making a good showing for himself, I'm also pleased over the continuity we've seen over the last month with respect to Hardy and Finlay's rivalry. Continuity makes a happy Jefe!
It also pleased me to see the WWETTCs getting some love and lasting as long as they did, because, well, they're champions and they SHOULD! Of course, they didn't last long after the faces and heels squared off, but the fact that they weren't summarily tossed early on displays that there is still, at least, *some* respect left for the WWETTTs.
And what a curious ending we had to this battle royal, with Booker going over by dumping both Hardy *and* his courtesan, Regal, over the top (to say nothing of the fact that Booker and company straight rejected Kennedy by pushing him into the lion's den! I'd love to see a follow-up on that whereby Kennedy establishes himself as a heel/tweener who's in it for himself, but that would be assuming that McMahonagement thought we were smart enough to process such a thing). Regal looked PISSED at first, however, succumbed to the wishes of his sovereign and proudly led the "Long live King Booker" chant for which he's become renowned. A query to ponder, though…did Regal actually harken back to his English upbringing, whereby he recognizes that we must sacrifice for our King, or is he harboring a secret grudge? Time will tell…
However, yes, King Booker acquired quite the feather in his cap, to quote the late, great Gorilla Monsoon, by not only winning this battle royal, but, thereby earning a WT shot against Rey Mysterio at THE BASH. I fully expect Booker to go over Rey and, unfortunately, become the poster boy for the modern transitional champion, turning Right around and dropping it to Batista, as soon as The Animal is done wiping his ass with Big Drippy, but more on that in a moment. I hope I'm wRong, because Booker truly deserves a great run as a WWE world champion, but, quite frankly, considering the state of SD!'s roster at this point, I'm not too certain *any*one could have a great WT run.
What the hell do you MEAN tag teams?! - Speaking of our courtesans Regal and Finlay, we had a thoroughly enjoyable and believable exchange backstage, thus depicting the solidarity existing between them. Fuck Bush, King BOOKER is the great uniter! Considering the fact that Kendrick & London lasted to the final three faces in the battle royal, could we be seeing a tag team in the works? And considering we're seeing THE PITBULLS being primed for what one must assume is a run at the champions, can you *imagine* a three-way dance among these teams?! Whoops…stroking myself at work…*yikes!* But is The Little Bastard now free from his confines of the magical emerald land of the underside of the ring…?
Las luchas son locas! – I really am enjoying the manner in which the demise of THE MEXICOOLS is progressing. Loyal readers know I love me some old school, and that's exactly how this developing feud feels to me. Predictable? Insofar as we knew they'd interfere in one another's matches, yes; however, in knowing, it made for the anticip…….ation for exactly when and how they'd strike. The structure was also solid, as it gave both Kennedy and Vito reasons to be on TV and help to establish farther themselves with victories the former partners cost one another. As I said last week, the "pull-aparts" have been pretty weak and I doubt we'll see much more from this feud following THE BASH, but hopefully we'll get one quality match out of this before Psicosis is shipped over to WWECW and Super Crazy gets a run with the CWT (my predictions).
Purgatory:
Well, we knew this was coming - …but I didn't think it'd be so soon, or given away on free TV! Batista's return was nothing short of barbaric, as he beat the living HELL out of Big Drippy with not only some STIFF shots with the ring steps, but he wrapped a chair around the bulbous back of The World's Wettest Man. Drippy didn't even get in a dirty look, much less throw a punch. Now, I understand Batista needed to re-establish his momentum and some flowery "I'm gonna kick your ass at THE BASH" speech would have made him look like a pansy. We have to bear in mind that it was Drippy who (in kayfabe terms, of course), cost Batista the WT via a wicked beat down, and he had a receipt coming, for sure. However, I have to question Batista rampaging back to the show and exhibiting *this* much dominance straight away. Granted, we have some time till THE BASH for Big Drippy to assert some revenge (and it's in situations such as this that Drippy would really benefit from having a manager…Armando Alejandro Estrada would be better served here than wasting time with Spewmaga over on Raw), but after this battering here tonight, I hesitate to consider exactly how he's going to manage to save any kind of face, especially since his defeat is a foregone conclusion, barring a Brock/Taker-at-Unforgiven kind of ending, which will piss off the fans, the live crowd, especially (although, it would carry on the grand WWE tradition of making THE BASH suck old man balls).
Nature's Little Oopsie climbs out of the Ridiculous! – And only because he squashed Taschlongka this week. This is exactly how these "Legends" need to be booked, not that WWETTT crap we saw with Animal. No, what we had tonight, as well as that hiLARious spot on Monday where "Crackhead" Jim Dullard took that McMahon chair shot is exactly what the doctor ordered. It's just a shame that Taschlongka had to put over a walking abortion like Khali.
Ho-RAH! – Normally The Diva Search would ker-PLOP directly into the Ridiculous for taking valuable TV time away from actual workers, but, again, considering the anemic state of the roster, there actually is time for this nonsense, so what the hell? Personally, I'm wanting to see Jen (despite her resemblance to that fucking doorknob Carmen Electra), JT and (especially) Layla win. And, no, Larry, it is NOT nice to call Layla Scary Spice…hahaha! Maryse is cute, but the fact that she's only been speaking English for a minute and a half is going to kill her chances…or they could pair her up with Sylvan and drag out the inevitable. Hey, is her last name Oulette…? Maybe they could work an Orton/Hogan angle with Carl Oulette and Paul Burchill…?
The wRong:
Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Kennedyyyyyyy…Kenne…huh?! – I am a HUGE fan of the little things, the Hidden Highlights, if you will (READ JT's COLUMN!!!), that make a performance, program, what have you, better than simply your run of the mill segment, and I am always quick to praise the stuff that really works. However, the converse holds true and we had a HUGE mistake here tonight, as Super Crazy's music began to interrupt Kennedy's signature self-announcement. This is positively CRIMINAL. This is what got the guy over and such interruption should have been saved for Kennedy's first really huge feud, whereby the face opposing him shows him utter disrespect by yanking his trademark out from underneath him. This was just plain irresponsible and disappointing.
Dood, my wrestling program is all skunky! – That's because someone's performing past his born-on date. Sorry, Sylvan, this isn't working. You used to be a model and you couldn't get your modeling gimmick off the ground. Take your own advice and head home.
The Ridiculous:
Remember the Warner Brothers cartoon… - …where the big, bad ass bulldog was strutting down the streets of Brooklyn, indifferent to the yapping little dog bouncing around him, incessantly babbling, "What are we gonna do today, Spike? Boy, we should find some little pipsqueak and beat him up, Spike! Boy, that'd sure be swell, wouldn't it, Spike?" Change that dog to a Chihuahua and you've, miserably, got our WC, Rey Mysterio. Not only was he made to look like an afterthought in the Batista/Drippy massacre, there he was again backstage, "Golly gee, I sure am lucky to be the World Champion! Having this belt is a GIFT!" BULLSHIT! Any face champion worth ANYTHING crams down your throat how HARD he worked to WIN that belt, that he EARNED the RIGHT to wear it, to be the standard-bearer of his company! I had originally intended to place this in puRgatory, but in writing this, it's clear to me that this abuse of the champion and the title is just plain Ridiculous. Rey, I am so sorry about all this, man. I hope this impending program with Chavo Guerrero is able to restore your credibility.
SD!'s title versus title matches = Raw's handicap matches – And they do NO ONE any good. So Lashley can pin Gregory Helms. Whoop-de-ding-dong. If he couldn't, he'd have no business getting this push or wearing the UST. I understand that we're looking for a way to keep Helms' visible while the remainder of the CW ranks are busy making it appear as if we have a tag roster, but shit or get off the commode already. This is LAME.
Okay, I know I said I was no-selling Vito's gimmick – But I'm seeing a trend developing on SD! that disturbs, irritates and, frankly, pisses me off. This is going to be a rant, so if you don't want to bother with stuff that is barely wrestling related, move along and allow Larrold to entertain you.
First of all, I had this problem during the Booker/Angle "gutterslut" program, as well as with Melina's entrance. SD! runs very early on network primetime and, therefore, that which will be allowed to air past UPN's censors is quite a bit more stringent than that which will be allowed to air on Raw. It irritates me when McMahonagement attempts to get over something that UPN is going to censor, thus weakening the momentum and strength of the situation, i.e., Angle calling Sharmell a "gutter*BLEEP*" and blurring out Melina's crotch during her saucy entrance.
Likewise, are we seeing Vito being blurred out when his skirt rides up. Now, trust me, friends, I've no desire whatsoever to check Vito out under the hood (let's just say he's not my type), but the outrageous responses he's receiving from the live crowd and from JBL (more on that in a second) are a direct result of the fact that his junk is peeking out and he's wearing nothing but a flimsy g-string underneath. That is the ONLY way this awful gimmick is going to get over, by being the proverbial car wreck you can't help but look at, and by blurring everything out, it yanks the rug out from underneath the whole thing. Bottom line, leave the more risqué gimmicks/angles/etc. on Raw where they're less likely to be tampered with and push the safer stuff on network TV. For Foley's sake, we go black & white for a little BLOOD!
Second, I was quite outspoken over the racist nature of THE MEXICOOLS' gimmick when they first debuted and have always been angered, disgusted and disappointed by the racism, misogyny and homophobia that inevitably finds its way into the WWE product, and this is simply the latest installment. I understand that seeing a man in a dress naturally brings about the gut reaction something along the lines of "Holy shit!", especially considering Vito's build and appearance combined with the style of dresses he's wearing, and that's what this whole angle is built upon. However, it should be noted that JBL's comments linking the character's transvestism and homosexuality are simply wRong, and therefore, irresponsible.
While I most certainly do NOT wish to suggest that I am making any blanket statements here, because such statements are just as irresponsible, gay men, by and large, are already quite familiar and identify in a much more positive manner with their "female side" than do their heterosexual counterparts, and, as such, needn't repress feminine traits, which is the root, according to Karl Jung's "anima theory", of transvestism. When a gay man dresses as a woman, it's most likely for entertainment purposes ("drag"); when a straight man dresses as a woman, it's most likely the expression of repressed feminine traits that were met with disapproval when they naturally surfaced when the man was a boy, and he was highly encouraged to bury such traits (called anima), leading him to seek "completeness" later as an adult, which is what is being implied by Michael Cole's commentary. Therefore, for JBL to be "asking for a chromosome count" and that Vito is a "fruit loop" is not only incorrect, but validates and encourages homophobia, which, in this day and age, is absolutely Ridiculous and utterly, completely irresponsible.
It is for these reasons that, henceforth, Vito will be no sold as long as I am the SD! analyst, all due respect to the talented performer portraying the character.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!:
Raw 07.10.06:
The Right:
The Rated R Announce Table, Cena vs. Shelton, and Hotel Raids! - So Raw kicked off this week with Edge and Lita coming to the ring. Thankfully this was not for a regular interview segment, he was there to head to the "Rated R Announce Table" where he and Lita would pull "Rated R Announce Team" duty! As you would expect, the reason for this was that John Cena was in the opening match. He and Shelton had a really fun opener, and it was fun to see some wrestling on the show that didn't suck a dead dinosaur's ass. The only bad thing is that I KNEW Shelton would do the job, as he is once again in the "We have no clue what to do with him phase." But all was good, and Edge was particularly good on commentary. After the match Cena attacked, but Edge would lay him out with the Implant DDT and Spear. He and Lita then left for the Hotel, where they would watch Raw, get drunk, harass hotel staff and presumable have sex. Edge was a total dick to the hotel staff, which was entertaining, they made fun of the show while drinking and then went back to their room when ready. We all knew what was coming, and Cena made the sneak attack and laid Edge out in the hotel room. He probably got some from Lita since everyone has to complete a goodnight. A good angle that went show long, and provided solid entertainment and build and attention to the WWE title, something that has been lacking.
Flair, Foley, Heyman and Show - Finally they came back to the feud this week as Ric Flair came to the ring to bash of Foley for resorting to his hardcore nature in their Vengeance match. Before he could get too far, Foley cut him off on the TRON (~!) and cut his own promo on Flair:
In return for claims you made against me. You say I always took the easy way out. Coming from a guy that talks out of his ass, while drunk and then having a ghostwriter do your work is funny. Considering I wrote mine by hand and was a #1 best seller. Back in Germany in 1994, you were my boss, you were in charge. I got my ear tore off and I got back in the ring and did my job! A referee gave it to a ring announcer, and it was given to you. You said to put it ice, and then you saw me still wrestling. I traveled 1000 miles and slept in my car, eating PB&J until I puked, and then you accuse me of not being a wrestler while you made matches grabbing another man's genitals. Tell me this Ric, how much worse could those bad asses messed you up than I did? FIND SOME NEW CHICHE'S YOU WASHED UP HACK! You no linger matter to me Ric, you brag about your 16-titles. I got titles of my own, I am a legend, 3-time WWE Champion, 2-time Best selling author by HAND! I have been interviewed by Katie Couric and am a personal friend of Melina. You are a used up piece of crap and you get NO rematch!
Flair retaliated with telling Foley he should stop crying about the past, and said he would go hardcore on him. No sooner did he finish that and ECW's Messiah Paul Heyman came to the ring. He told Flair that he unfairly lumps hardcore and such into one negative category, and then introduced The Big Show. Show put himself over as the only WCW, WWE and ECW champion and offered Flair a shot at #17, which he accepted. Heyman instigated Flair, and Show then laid him out. While I would like ECW to be more of a stand-alone brand, this is effective cross promotion, because you gave the people a guaranteed main event for the next night, and that is never bad.
In the end it was odd that the Big Show, after starting a feud with Triple H over Ric Flair's honor a while back, now starts a feud with Flair; basically out of nowhere. I should expect this from a man that went between WCW and the n W o a record 372 times.
The wRong:
It's a shame, but nobody cares… - This is a follow up to last week's analysis of the Highlanders debut, and how it is a representation of a bigger problem on Raw. We'll talk even more about it below, but for now it will remain with the Highlanders and Striker/Conway. So they do a rematch from last wee, of a match that was essentially a squash. They tried to play up that Striker messed it up and screwed Conway, but that they are on the same page this week. And they did the same exact match with the same result. No one cares. Striker is a goof, Conway is so misused and jobbed out beyond belief that no one cares and the Highlanders are 2-0, over people no one cares about because of the piss poor structure and booking on Raw. It's sad really, so sad.
What a bunch of shit! - Yup, this week the entire Vince, Shane, Eugene, Hacksaw, Spirit Squad and DX stuff was complete shit. Here is why I think so. First of all, once again DX walked out of Raw like they were fucking bullet proof. It is redundant, and I have no want to see the match on Saturday. They haven't given the Squad or Vince and Shane anything, the heel needs to get some kind of advantage so that when the faces get one of them, it is the comeuppance that the crowd has been wanting. This is just the same old shit, with Vince as Wile E. Coyote and his big ass net. BLAH! Then, then we had to put up with multiple Eugene sketches all night. They sucked and Eugene, as a character need to go and go now. Hacksaw is still on my TV, thankfully getting hit by a chair, but he needs to go away as well. So they run this ridiculous main event of the McMahon's vs. Eugene. They kick his ass, and DX arrives. They do the Looney Tunes deal and Eugene gets a sneak roll up and win on Vince. What is bad about this is that they treated this like it is an upset. Now while Eugene is a retard, he IS also a wrestler. I don't give a shit that it is Vince McMahon, he is 60-years old, roided to the gills, can barely move and is NOT a wrestler. Not an upset. Anyway, this all was a load of shit, the Spirit Squad, unless they actually do something on Sunday will remain the bitch boys of HHH and HBK, while the tag titles die even more then they have
The Ridiculous:
Bro's before ho's - The old rule of buddies has always been "bro's before ho's," which means that you never let a bitch come between you and one of you friends. While it's a fine rule, and they played it up on Monday, it made about no sense. Here is why, they have taken WEEKS to build this whole deal between Lillian, Haas and Viscera. They have dedicated numerous TV segments to this, and no one cared. Why? Because as I discussed last week, there is a huge separation on Raw, the never establish tag teams or a mid-card and people are conditioned not to care about certain members of the roster. Charlie Haas and Viscera are two of those men they care nothing about. So they feud over Lillian to the sound of silence, and this week we get our LONG AWAITED MATCH! Minus some hope spots, 800lbs Viscera, who means nothing, is destroying Haas, you know the one with a future mind you. Finally Lillian comes in the ring and tells them to stop, and says that, "She only wants to be friends." So Haas attacks Viscera and blinds him, remember this one, and as he is blinded, he snatches up Lillian and gets the big Samoan drop on Lillian. They both check on her, and then realize that they almost broke the "bro's before ho's" rule, so they walk out as friends. Yeah, just minutes after trying to blind Viscera, Haas is his new friend. "Bro's before ho's" is a powerful rule. So now with Val jobbing in 24-seconds and this happening, we appear to have a NEW random tag team that will do absolutely shit. Glorious.
The 2006 Diva Search - Well this got off to a horrendous start didn't it? First of all we had the pleasure of having the MIZ host the event. This was a man so hyper and full of himself that he couldn't even remember his pitch with it written on his wrist. He was clueless out there, being energetic is good, but fucking up the entire pitch, not remembering how to explain the voting and such is pathetic and not a good sign for things to come. And then there were the chicks. Eight airheads, nothing you haven't seen before and all of them saying the exact same thing as Ashley from last year. "This is my dream, I am dedicated and it would be my honor to win this if you vote for me…yay me!" It was fine when they just walked out and stood there. They could even dance or jump around a bit, but for the love of GOD do not talk! I still think that this is a giant waste of TV time, when they could be looking for, I don't know, women that can WRESTLE!
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 07.11.06:
The Right:
Heyman Explains All! - The show had a great start with the Heyman promo, explaining his actions and being the true "Mad Scientist" of wrestling while doing it. I have said it before and I will say it again, the BEST heels will not only do something devious and or nefarious, but they will explain their actions and do so in a totally justified manner. That is how it is done and done right. So not only did Paul have the balls to walk out there and defend what he did, he blamed RVD AND the fans for it! It was the blood thirty fans that kept chanting for RVD that got him the title and it was those same fans that pushed RVD to defend the title on an insane schedule. Paul had to put a stop to this to save RVD from an early grave, and he did it for the fans. Paul went onto explain how he sacrificed for ECW and that he had no problem with being the martyr for ECW. He sacrificed his friendship with RVD to cleanse the fans of their sins, and he wears that like a badge of honor. He is now the messiah of ECW, and he will continue to make decisions that benefit only ECW, not any one person. He will lead the children to the promise land, for his soul is ECW for life. He needed to give a great promo and did that tonight. Major kudos to Paul E for that promo, this was just great work. I may not particularly like religious overtones, but at leas the isn't challenging God.
Show vs. Flair - I was really just "there" on this match. I knew Flair wouldn't win, I figured Foley would show up. I didn't think it would be horrible, but I didn't expect it to be good either. The first minute before the commercial was just there, so far I was right. After the break, it was boring and bordering on suck, yet not horrible. Then they picked it up, found the trashcan of fun, Flair bled and it was on. They started to brawl all crazy like, and then Flair made his comeback and bloodied Show with the barbed wire bat and numerous chair shots. And then Flair, possessed in wanting a match with Foley brought out some tacks to send a message. He ended up sending Show into the tacks, which only pissed him off. Show got to his feet, chokeslam, cobra clutch backbreaker of doom and Show submitted Flair in a dominant win. Show looked like a world-beater, Flair put him over well and overall we hade a fun match in the end. I was shocked that it was a clean ending, as I thought for sure that Mick Foley would cost Flair the match, as a follow up to his promo the previous night. On the bright side, that was so obvious I was actually glad that they didn't do it. In a business when things can be so transparent, this turned out not to be. In closing, how weird was it hearing an ECW crowd chant, "Thank you Flair" when they used to chant, "Flair is dead" in 1994 and on when Shane Douglas was burying him?
"New" Faces: Punk, The Vampire, Balls, and Bull Nakano! - So this week they did some more work on the new/new to some faces of ECW, which is something that I said would be important. I will talk about Test here as well. Test is a cheating heel bastard and won just like he should, considering that, for some reason, they want to protect and keep Dreamer strong. I say it like that because for the most part, old ECW is bad and gets jobbed, new ECW guys good. Anyway, a feud with Dreamer could help Test get over as an asshole with ECW fans, and last night, for the first time, there were DREAMER chants. Holy shi, I was amazed as well. That match wasn't anything special, but they showed some fire and got the crowd to stay involved, so good work.
We got another CM Punk promo, this time discussing his "ink." He gave a little explanation that they weren't just decoration, but a way of life. He discussed them; Drug free, honor and war against the system were some of the tats he showed off. He closed with the fact that he is a "finely tuned athlete, craving to compete with the best." This is the second short promo for Punk in two-weeks and I feel that they both went well. He has explained that he is "Straight Edge," and has explained what that means. This week e explained about his tats, and how they were also a part of this lifestyle. So far so good in terms of showing the audience someone new.
Arial the tarot card reader returned this week, after they figured out that she should be telling the future, and not recapping the past. That's a good sign that they figured that out. She started to read the cards and then said the future holds blood. We then saw a bite on her neck and THE VAMPIRE WAS INSIDE THE BUILDING! WHAT SICK FUCK INVITED HIM INTO THE BUILDING? Anyway, it appears as if we are close to his debut, officially, and that Arial will now be part of his "brood" so to speak. I wish they would bring Gangrel is as well, but apparently he is too fat now.
They ran a nice little "Superstars" like video deal for Balls Mahoney. The basis was he was a bad ass and will do everything balls to the wall, because he is an "ECW Original." Cool little deal and something they should have been doing since week #1, but it got its point across.
Finally, BULL NAKANO is making her ECW debut. Some though that she was retired, but…what…that is who? Holy shit! That was Shannon Moore, formerly the (TRADEMARKED BY TNA~!) Well I'll be damned. Well, I suppose that this is the perfect place for him so well see how it goes.
puRgatoRy:
The Sandman and Knox - I should complain about Knox and The Sandman as well. This was an instant of mixing two different brands of the shame old shit, and hoping that it would create something new. This looks to be leading to an actual program, an angle if you will, something that ECW really hasn't ran until now. This is good, because as amusing as Sandman has been, I was bored of it. He's the Sandman! They hype him as the former 5-time ECW champion, yet all he could do was cane useless entertainment entities. I know he is old, I know he is broken down and I know that he can't work a full schedule, but you have to do something important with him! Finally it appears as if a feud is beginning, so I will let it go and give it a chance to develop. That or this was their way of taking Know off of TV, either way…SWEET!
The wRong:
Let me get this straight… - I just watched Sabu get disqualified. I just saw Sabu disqualified in ECW. I just saw Sabu get disqualified for putting someone through a table on ECW TV? ARE YOU SHITTING ME! Damn, I know that this is a new ECW, but there is just some shit that you don't mess with. I feel that they are just messing up Sabu with the disqualification deal as well as having him talk; something he never did (in character) outside of screaming in the ring and such. I don't like it, I don't like it at all.
The Ridiculous:
The stripping has to go… - Come on, when Candace Michelle is the one carrying you through routine, it is time to kill it. Kelly is jus bad at this; she looks great physically but appears robotic as a dancer. Instead of going out there and hiring a pretty hot stripper that was great at her job, they HAD to have a knockout with a killer body with no personality or ability to learn dance. Maybe if she was good I could let it go, but this is what, the 5th week of ECW TV and we have had to see this shit each and every week? Please end it.
iMpact!:
iMpact 07.13.06:
The Right:
Building to Victory Road - I thought that the one thing they did, and did well, was to sell the hell out of the PPV this Sunday. The first thing I loved was the 5-video packages regarding Victory Road's #1 contender's match. Cage, Steiner, Sting, Joe and Jarrett all had short video packages, with their narration regarding the match and their opponents. They were very well put together, and added to the hype of the match. They had a good video package for the tag title match as well as an attack by AMW on AJ and Daniels (women included) to add to the hype of the match. The James Gang had a confrontation with Mitchell and Abyss to make sure he was with them for the PPV, which was also good. They also ran another well-put together video package for the Larry Z and Raven match, while not high on people's priorities, added to the hype for it as well. Overall excellent hype for the PPV on Sunday, which is what they really needed to do.
Last Chance Main Event - I thought that this was a solid main event. The crowd was hot for the match, and stayed with it the whole way. The interactions with Eric Young and D'Amore were also great again, as he really has a chance to break out now. The other good thing was that Lethal got the win, which was unexpected and something nice. Also, in the end Team Canada is done with, and that is a great thing because ERIC YOUNG IS FREE! This is good news, and now the booking can move forward; which should be interesting.
puRgatoRy:
Rhino - I was really considering just bashing this again, like I do almost all mentions of WWE/ECW, but I decided to really look at it and I have decided on puRgatoRy for this week, and I'll explain why.
The Positive: First of all, the Impact Zone was super hot for this promo. They opened the show with it, and turning onto a show with a crowd that crazy and a dude going off the way Rhino was is a great thing to have. Secondly the promo itself was not only passionate, but probably one of the best Rhino has ever cut in his career. Thirdly Rhino shows his allegiance to the TNA faithful by explaining to them that he told Vince to go and fuck himself. Fourthly, the burning of the "ECW belt" was a cool visual and came off like a big angle. The best thing about it is that Rhino has a buzz now, because people are talking, and that is more than they were doing yesterday. Here is an example of what I am talking about, from "Eastcoastay" from the F4Wonline message boards: The day after WrestleMania in 1998, Sean Waltman walked out to the ring making his return to the WWF and cut a promo absolutely burying WCW, and in the process made himself one of the hottest stars in the company in ten minutes time. Nobody was bellyaching that he wasn't advancing any "real" storylines then.
The Negative: First of all, it is an empty challenge. Vince will never show up and everyone knows it, or SHOULD know it. Secondly, since TNA only has 42-44 minutes of TV, perhaps they should focus on, I don't know, HYPING THEIR OWN COMPANY AND PPV! Thirdly, and this goes along with #2, stop dwelling on the past. The past is the past, focus on the present, which is TNA. Sure he proclaimed his love for TNA, but he had to do al of the other stuff, which takes away. Fourth, it leads to a match with Monty Brown. Tenay explained it well, since both men were making challenges, but now you put one in the position to lose, ah parity booking. Finally, it was just the same old shit; which is basically advertising for the WWE. WWE needs to advertising, ECW needs no advertising since they do double the rating of TNA. Please focus on your company, and make it succeed.
The wRong:
Senshi vs. Clark - This just wasn't a good match. Senshi is on a totally different level than Clark, and they did not mesh well at all. They had some miscommunication issues, and the match didn't flow well at all. Senshi looked like a world-beater though, and killed young Mr. Clark. The other issue is that Senshi doesn't have a match for Victory Road! That is horrible! The NWA title isn't being defended, which I am ok with so that they can build to a title match next month But Senshi is the new champion, and should be defending the title and isn't. That isn't a good sign and needed to be noted here. TNA has announced that he will defend the title, but no opponent has been announced. That is still not good.
A Rough go of it for the Paparazzi - I am really high on the team of Shelley and Devine. I think that they are going to make a good team and will only add to the TNA tag division. For the match itself, it was fine. Nothing spectacular, but a solid match and with time, Shelley and Devine will be a good team. But having them lose their debut in such a clean loss. It totally derails them from the get go, and that isn't a good sign. In the end, the thing is that they lost and we already have no reason to care about them. Bad booking here, very WWE-like on Raw, which I complain about so it is only fair to do so here.
The Ridiculous:
Nothing of Note
RetRo TNA No Surrender 2005!:
Match Results:
Match #1 – America's Most Wanted defeated Alex Shelley and Michael Shane @ 11:57 via pin **¾
Match #2 – Sonjay Dutt gained entry into the Super X Tournament by defeating Shark Boy, Elix Skipper and Mikey Batts @ 8:30 via pin **½
Match #3 – Apollo and Sonny Siaki defeated David Young and Simon Diamond @ 5:55 via pin *
Match #4 – Samoa Joe defeated Chris Sabin @ 14:12 via submission ****
We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Chris Sabin… - Who got choked out by Samoa Joe! In my opinion Joe and Chris Sabin put on the match of the night, without question. Joe has been a great addition to TNA. Anytime you can add someone to the roster that will deliver the way he has so far is a win, win situation. The match had a great structure, with Joe remaining dominant, but giving Sabin enough so that it wasn't a squash. The timing was perfect, and the way Joe transitioned from submission to submission was outstanding. The future is very bright for Joe in TNA, and I for one am looking forward to even more quality matches like this.
Ladies and gentlemen, Sean Waltman is reborn - Ever since the match with Raven it appears as if Waltman has had a fire lit under his ass. He has looked good on Impact, at Slammiversary he worked very hard and looked motivated. So when the match with AJ was announced I know many people said, "it will be ok, but there is no way Waltman will keep up with AJ."
In the 411 Round Table I said the following: I actually have high hopes for this match. Waltman has shown that he still has something left, and maybe something to prove. I feel that he will pick it up for AJ and in the end it will be an enjoyable match. I think since Lynn is returning that he will "accidentally" cost Waltman the match, and they will go off to rekindle the GWF feud (which I want to see what they can do now), as AJ goes into the Super X Cup, to lose in the finals to Samoa Joe.
HUZZAH! Sometimes you just get shit right, yay me! I really liked the match, Sean Waltman more than proved that when he is not injured, motivated and isn't influenced by the political game that he is still a damn fine worker. Congrats to him and I really want to see what he and Lynn can pull off in 2k5.
Mr. TNA dominates the world - Christopher Daniels continues his dominance in the X-Division, this month by defeating Petey Williams. They had an uphill battle going into this match as both men are heels. They did a great job of transitioning the heat segments in the match, and both played a bit of face in peril. Much props to Petey for taking that nasty power bomb onto the ring apron, that was freakin brutal! With all they had against them, they worked extra hard to put on a great match (theme of the evening) and Daniels rolls on as Champion.
No Surrender - The main event, while not a 5-star technical classic was an excellent way to end the show. Raven and Mitchell have such history and it is great that they have played off of it in order to get Abyss that first one on one match for the title. The best part about a match with the stipulation like this is that Abyss could lose and not look totally weak. He had a dollar bill stapled to his head, got hit with numerous chair shots, went through tables and finally took Raven's finisher not only once, but the second time in the thumbtacks. They promised blood and brutality and they delivered.
The wRong:
It was ok, but why are we dragging it out even more… - Monty and Kip vs. the 3LK was a decent little brawl match. They all worked hard, it was kept short as well and since there was nothing on the card like it to this point it worked very well. But the major problem comes in the angle. It seems as if this has been going on FOREVER! So much so that I don't remember when it started, but it needs to be resolved. I have no problem with the slow burn, but they end with the same tease every month. The crowd is HOT for a reunion, so if they are going to do it they need to act fast and pull the trigger next month or they will loose any positive effect that the turn would have had.
Added, but not needed - I like Simon Diamond, and I think he could do really well. But the angle they shot on the PPV was more served for Impact, not the PPV itself. At least if they did it on the preshow and they challenged a team leading to a PPV match it would have made much more sense. The good news is that it wasn't "bad" and was kept short. They just need to think it out and plan a little so that these angles make more sense.
The Ridiculous:
Why? - Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why, Why MUST EVERY NAME THEY BRING IN BE JJ'S BITCH????? They had a good chance to make some waves with Rhyno. Sure he isn't the Rock or even Chris Jericho, but Rhyno has a following from ECW and booked correctly his debut could have been very special. While it has an impact on the product and was a hot way to close the show, it is another example of the same old shit when it comes to JJ. I feel that once again, they took something that could have been rather effective and turned it in to the same old shit. Damn it, I usually don't mind Jarrett as much as others, but the last 4-5 months it has been almost impossible to defend him.
PPV Thoughts:
This was a very good PPV from TNA, with nothing "bad/unwatchable" and a lot of matches over the *** mark. Sean Waltman looked like the Waltman of old in there with AJ, Raven and Abyss delivered as did the X Title match. I give this one a high recommendation as it is a great night of wrestling, with a little something for everyone. 8 out of 10.
READER RANT TIME!
From H. McCloat on last week's ECW -
Definitely the sign of the night...I'm surprised it wasnt confiscated like all the others usually are..
This show was boring...RVD being suspended is crap...him and Sabu are the only reason I watch "ECW" to begin with...All I have to say is thank god I have REAL ECW matches and ppv's on tape/dvd cause I'll watch those for an hour over this sci-fi junk anyway...Once again Vince McDouchebag has dropped the ball and screwed up another great thing there for his taking he could have made ECW great and brought in the ECW faithful instead he made it crap just like everything else he has done....WcW, XFL, Invasion Angle, Smackdown Etc.
I'm glad the boys are getting a steady paycheck and this will give CM Punk TV time....But I don't see it lasting....going live in front of Smackdown crowds was bad to begin with…but the show is slow....and the same shit every week....sandman canes someone…Kelly try's to strip to the same music…Blah Blah…Vince being in control and running it his way we should have known this was doomed from the start.....Even now if they do shows in front of ECW Fans it will be shit on because it is not ECW it is WWECW and like Carlito says...That's not Cool
2 thumbs down…I hate Vince more and more everyday.....first Cena now he ruins "ECW"....thank god for Samoa FN Joe…or I would stop watching wrestling....and that kills me to say…cause I love wrestling....but Vince and the soap opera creative team.....SUCK!
Poor RVD goes from 2 World titles on top of the wrestling World...to 0 titles in 24 hours cause him and Sabu got caught with weed worth a $100 fine...I hope RVD's contract runs out soon so he can become Mr. X-Divison Fuck You Vince!
From David on TNA stuff -
I totally agree on the Team 3D-James Gang feud. Which team is face and which is heel. Adding Brother Runt into the mix is great. But Abyss as a member of the James Gang family is crazy. Sean Waltman would have been a better pick. With their history he could be called family. My hope was that it would Joanie Laurer wrestling under her first name. She has credibly wrestled men before. I don't usually like to see men wrestling women but let's face it Joanie is a one of a kind.
From Doug -
Just wanted to let you know that because of the three R's I'll be checking up on Smackdown again for the first time in months, I used to watch Velocity more than Smackdown if you believe that.
Thank you for your Impact R's as well. Its nice to read someone who doesn't bow down to everything TNA does but will treat TNA with respect and not refer to them as WWE rejects, just because Creative can't find anything for you doesn't make you a reject. But some points you might like:
Joe's Promo: you gotta admit the ending saved the promo as it got better as it went along, for some reason at the beginning I was having a flashback to old Rocky promos but with a fatter faced Samoan :)
Naturals: new Hardy's, just substitute the Franchise for Michael Hayes
Monty: I can only stand one squash a month for him please, put him in a main event tag sometime would you
Team Canada: you didn't mention did you, what no love for the Canadians, what do you think? disband or not?
Opening X: Homicide is the only reason I am interested in LAX, nice to have Killings doing something, I'm gonna send you another email regarding the X-division which I think you might like
Main Event: I liked it, and hell you were given a fifteen minute main event, that just like Borash said could be a major PPV match but its on free TV, did you notice Christian almost getting killed when he was pushed out of the ring by JJ, that was kind of scary
RHYNO!: that promo was better than Joe's, made me think of a future match between Joe and Rhyno, two bulls just beating the hell out of each other, I'm surprised no one has ever mentioned that possibility of a match
lastly......... WHERE WAS MY ABYSS!!!!!! :(
From Pete -
Well, I know the haters will hate but Big Show and Flair, who have their share of critics, tore the place up on Tuesday. People can whine about Flair's age or
Show's slowness but in the end they told a good story, had a solid match and got people watching. That is success in a nutshell. Dreamer's getting some story line and could be moving up the roster so that's good. Sandman dispensed some Kendo stick justice to Mike
Knox and that's good. Now if he could just trade Knox to Smackdown for Matt Hardy. Test as a punishment enforcer? Could be more storyline. I still think he'd have been better on Smackdown but I don't book the shows...
I do understand what you were saying about Finley and Regal helping Masters. You are right he could have really benefited from working with them (or else) but he didn't get the chance. Wonder if he ever will. There are quite a few rumors about young Chris and his attitude in the Indies, not to mention that HHH didn't like him. Now if only we can get Lashley some promo
training or a manager.
Mark Henry took his beating like a man on Smackdown by the way. I know the IWC hates him but the guy has improved vastly and in the end should get an extension on his contract this year. I'm just sayin'.
And finally from Chad on JBL -
When Praising JBL as a kick ass color commentator, don't forget how hilarious it was to see him bash the little bastard one-minute and then change his tune when he was given a beer. Afterwards Cole said JBL couldn't hold his liquor and he immediately said he must be mistaking him for Farooq! That was some good shit.
