Column of Honor: One Year Anniversary Column 07.15.06
Posted by Ari Berenstein on 07.15.2006
The honor is here, oh yes.
We're all marks.
What's So Wrong With Being a ROHbot Anyway?
Yeah, that's right, I said it.
We're all marks.
If you're a wrestling fan, no matter if you're hardcore or casual, no matter if you spend all of your time on the internet looking for the latest insider information--you're a mark. Some readers out there in internet-land can't come face to face with that idea—he or she, errr, let's make that just "he" (come on now) may think he is "above the law." The law I am referring to being the law of the mark. The law of the mark being as such—if you spend money on any form of entertainment, you are to be labeled and deemed a "mark." And really, that's all there is to it.
Some fans and wrestlers treat words like "mark", "smark" or "smart" like a disease or a contagion. If they accuse someone else of being a mark—maybe that can mean they aren't one as well. You know, that's a part of the reason why the women of Salem were accused of being witches. Sometimes on the internet, when the insults start flying—it really feels like us wrestling fans are the ones being accused of witchcraft—but by our very own kindred.
At the least these words are derogatory terms—insults hurled through the tangled web of cyberspace. They are epithets with sharpened edges, brandished like knives. The objective of using the words "mark", "smark" or "smart" in an online conversation is that the terminology will cut the opinions down.
"You're rubber and I'm glue / everything you say bounces off of me and sticks onto you."
You know what that is? That's the voice of a nine year old—the voice I hear in my head when I read some of these message board comments. This is the voice of those who seek to legitimize the superiority of their opinion in all matters of one sub sect of a sports and entertainment medium. Mind you, the people who attack others with this phrase as their weaponry remain completely anonymous, as do the victims of their attack. It's an elementary public school yard ploy, except that at least with school, you knew you got to go back to class at the end of recess.
If you think that Triple H is holding the other wrestlers down, someone will remind you that you are acting like a smark. Stop it! If you think Vince McMahon or Scott Steiner aren't really as crazy as they appear to be, then you must be stupid and a mark to boot. Idiot! Get off the damn internet and go do your laundry! No, better yet, get out of your mother's basement, you little plebian! And god bless you, but if you happen to think that Ring of Honor has the best all around wrestling product going today and that there is always some great match to talk about, well then you my friend, are going to be torn a new one by some one from the illustrious Internet Wrestling Community. You my friend, are a mark, a smart and smark all rolled up into one monstrous and disgusting form. You are going to be accused of being a ROHbot.
The term ROHboth has become an often used expression for dealing with ROH fans and it too has been treated as an insult or a curse word.
The major knock I keep reading about ROHbots on the various wrestling boards such as 411 or The Wrestling Blog is one: that they are "elitist", believing that ROH is the superior product above all else on the internet landscape and that they can do no wrong; two: that they are extremely rude when you don't agree that ROH is the best thing going today since Sliced Bread #2. Come to think of it, I don't know if I by myself have the ability to refute completely these complaints. Those complaints are the equivalent of some tourists complaining that all New Yorkers are completely rude and obnoxious. I can only go by what I have experienced and all I know is that whenever I happen to talk to a tourist, I do my very best as a New Yorker to help that person out. So, I can't deny that some of the ROH fans can act that way. The thing is—those characteristics of being an elitist or a rude fan are so general that they can apply to any wrestling fan on the internet. In fact, if you think about the whole conceit of the "Comic Book Guy" character from The Simpsons—he thought his opinions were better than yours. He thought he was better than you. And some wrestling fans think they are better than other wrestling fans—hence calling each other names like "mark" and "ROHbot".
They'd be wrong.
When attending live shows at Ring of Honor events (even before I began to write this column and even now, when most people have NO CLUE who I am or what I look like), I have met 99 percent great people—nice and genuine fans who are there to be entertained, have a good time and watch some wrestling—spelled W-R-E-N-T-E-R-T-A-I-N-M-E…hmmm, no… well you know how its spelled. They are excited for the product—and it doesn't matter if its new fans going to their first or second shows or fans that have been to twenty shows, the excitement and the buzz and the energy are still there. No, I really can't call it elitism—I think I want to call it something else—PRIDE. ROH fans take pride in what they are watching because generally most of the time what they are watching earns their respect and their admiration and their pride.
I can hear the rebukes already—"Oh, that Ari Berenstein, he's just on the ROH Kool aid!" And…maybe I am. But then again, it's like I just said—EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWS WRESTLING IS A MARK. Likewise, everyone who watches wrestling drinks the "Kool Aid"—it's just a different flavor of said drink. Those who watch and love WWE (even nowadays)—YOU are drinking the WWE flavored Kool Aid. Back in the early days with Extreme Championship Wrestling, fans (who were likewise disparaged by insults such as "Mutants" even by a very accomplished writer in Scott Keith) were drinking that Paul Heyman Kool Aid. They believed in the product—it was their company and they were going to let you know. They wanted to get word out about the greatness of the wrestling company they followed. Since 2002, the in flavor of Kool Aid has been the Gabe Sapolsky variety—Jewish and Kosher and oh so delicious (hey I can make fun of my own, isn't that how that episode of Seinfeld went?). The Kool-Aid effect is not limited to any one style or company of wrestling, but is INHERENT in the system, a by-product of watching the wrestling you like. It is unavoidable and thus exploitable. It is also capable of being insulted and sullied by numerous sources. It's just too bad that not only do we get it from the outside media sources, but that we also come under some friendly fire as well, vicious fire at that.
What, are ROHbots like Hara Krishna's or Jehovah's Witnesses trying to push their religion to you in an airport?
But if so, isn't ANYONE who tries to turn you on to the newest, latest (and maybe greatest) music, movie, television show or sport doing the same? And is it all that wrong?
EVERYONE IS A MARK. Just like going to the carnival (from where wrestling claims strong roots), the person whom buys a ticket for entry into a wrestling event has always been and will always be considered a mark. Not only does this apply in the carnival and wrestling, EVERYONE and ANYONE who buys into a product or is a fan of something is a mark. This is extremely important from the standpoint of a retailer–consumer relationship. Appliance salesmen are selling to marks. The guys selling programs at the sporting event are selling to marks. If you are a wrestling fan and you pay money for any wrestling related product, you are a mark.
In the carnival, there is the con—a carnie "working" the crowd of marks for more money. I recently went to the Coney Island freak show at the behest of one of my friends who was celebrating a birthday. He wanted to go to the freak show to see "the freaks" as he coined it—not with any disrespect mind you. He was thoroughly amused and entertained and even respectful of these people who put on their show. He had been there before and he wanted to go again with his group of friends—and so we went.
There was the woman who dressed up with a sexy red dress and a poodle haircut climbing up a row of "sharp" swords—barefoot. There was the freak who clipped a "twenty pound" bowling ball…to his EARS. And then he swung it around and around his body. And then there was the contortionist woman who began on one side of a box that was sliced up with TWENTY FOUR SHARP SAWS—and then when she came out—she was on the other side of the box, completely unharmed! Amazing! Of course, if you wanted to come up and see how she was able to escape being cut in twenty four—well then you were required to pay some extra cash. As little as one extra dollar to come up to the stage to see this woman in action—and why wouldn't you go up there—after all she has two special needs kids, who are starving and need some new toys for Christmas!
And if you believe that story, then you believed that Kamala was a Ugandan giant.
You know, I for one, wasn't about to give these people one extra dollar to go see the woman in the box. I wasn't interested; I wasn't buying what was being sold to me. However—there WERE at least FIFTY people out of a crowd of about eighty, who did go up there. One by one, they got up and formed a line single file. They gave their dollar to the MC of the whole show—the man who fifteen minutes ago had driven a nail up his nose with a hammer. These were everyday, red blooded and blue collar American citizens, some with young children giving up their hard earned cash for five seconds of seeing the women in the box. But, they were having a great day in Coney Island, enjoying themselves at the carnival and it was only a dollar and so they paid. They bought in to the work.
Do you want to call these people marks?
Smarks?
ROHbots?
Does that even really matter?
It was the very essence of the carnival—the very essence of the idea of con and mark and work all rolled into one. My friends didn't care—and really neither did any of these people. We all had a great time being entertained by the freaks. It was fun. People gave their money freely—and some of us understood why we gave our money. Whether or not we understood, we were still thoroughly entertained by it all.
If you tell me you can't see the immediate connections between that and professional wrestling—I'd get ready to call you a mark.
Smart marks recognize the idea that they are being worked, but they buy into the product anyway. They are looking for a little bit of the suspension of disbelief—back when he or she (errr, he) was a kid and believed in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. It is the search for entertainment and the willingness to give money to be entertained. However, some smart marks on the internet have forgotten that very point and get carried away if they run into ideas or opinions that counter their own. They forget that they too are at the very core still marks—and that does not make them ANY better than anyone else who buys into any product. They are in fact, STILL on the same level as any regular casual "mark"—no matter how forcefully they try to push their opinion or how much "knowledge" they drop about the "inner workings" of the wrestling industry—and they are still on the same level as any other fanatic who spends half their day on the internet looking up the latest wrestling news and information.
And I of course include myself in the equation.
I find that there is nothing wrong with talking up a wrestling company that you follow. If you are a ROH fan, a TNA fan a PWG fan, a Chikara fan or hell, even a WWE fan, then you would want to push the company your support to anyone willing to listen—that's called "grassroots" promotion and it been successful for a long time—as far back as when Romans were converting to Christianity. If you believe and enjoy what you watch, then you shouldn't let anyone stop you from enjoying it. ROH fans simply are very, VERY enthusiastic about sharing their love for their product—and to some extent that might mean hyping something like a Joe-Kobashi match up to LARGE degree. The difference being that ROH lives up to the hype--uh-oh, that's the ROHbot in me getting a lick in, better stop that.
At the bottom of it all, no matter which company you like or support, if you're a fan and you spend your money on a product, you are a mark. And if you're a fan of ROH, you are more than likely a ROHbot. And that's not a bad thing, check that, it has never been and will never be a negative quality about someone. ROH fans—You can't avoid it, so why not embrace it? I do.
My name is Ari Berenstein. I'm a ROHbot. AND there's nothing wrong with that at all.
UNLESS, you're extremely annoying about it.
=-)
ROH Call
ROH Champions—As of 7/14/2006 (heading into Death Before Dishonor IV)
ROH World Champion—American Dragon Bryan Danielson (champion since 9/17/05, 24 successful defenses)*, **
ROH PURE Champion—Nigel McGuinness (champion since 8/29/05, 14 successful defenses)*
ROH World Tag Team Champions—Austin Aries and Roderick Strong (champions since 12/17/05, 12 successful defenses) ***
*4/29/06 champion v. champion match results in no title change and therefore should be considered successful defenses of the respective titles.
**Dragon makes successful defense of ROH title at ETW promotion in Texas on 6/10/06.
***Aries and Strong make two successful defenses in Japan, thus turning the ROH tag team titles into WORLD tag team titles.
ROH News (via the ROHnewswire… and other sources when attributed
Cage of Death Preparations—Hero, Homicide, Fifth Members, Card Order
This Saturday is "Death Before Dishonor IV" in Philadelphia at the National Guard Armory, which is just minutes off I-95 as well as the PA & NJ Turnpikes making it an easy drive from all locations. CZW is bringing its Cage Of Death to the Armory on Saturday when Chris Hero, Claudio Castagnoli, Necro Butcher, Nate Webb & a mystery partner take on Samoa Joe, BJ Whitmer, Adam Pearce, Ace Steel & a mystery partner. The format will closely follow the old school War Games format. It will start with one member of each team for the first five minutes. Then based on a coin toss one team will get the advantage and there will be a 2-on-1 advantage for two minutes. Then the other team will send in a new member to even the odd and this will continue in two minute intervals. The Cage Of Death match cannot end until all five members of each team enter the cage. At that point, the first team to get a member of the other team to quit or be pinned wins. The Cage Of Death is CZW's most violent match of the year.
Wargames remains one of the best team vs. team formats in the wrestling industry…hey, you can say what you want to say about The Dream, but the man came up with some great concepts and that's another one to chalk up to Dusty Baybeh. I also really like the longer opening section as it sets the stage for the other entrances. In the Wargames + Hardcore, ultra violence will be the crux what this version of the Cage of Death. Another factor is the unpredictability factor. With TWO mystery partners (one on each side), the loyalties of Homicide in question and the X-factor of the crafty and in my mind untrustworthy Dillon, a lot can happen in this match that can affect the outcome. There are four to five possible outcomes to this one and I have no clue which one it could be. Another question that has been brought up is will this match truly be the end of the CZW-ROH conflict? I think it may be the end of the "world war" as far as a direct company vs. company competition, but there are so many variables that I would think events in this match will directly impact and influence a good chunk of upcoming feuds and issues over the rest of the Summer and the Fall.
Straight Shootin' With Jim Cornette & JJ Dillon will be taped this weekend when Cornette & Dillon are in town for the ROH show. ROH Commissioner Cornette has appointed Dillon to be in charge of the Cage Of Death door. Dillon will also be in charge of the coin flip to determine who gets the advantage.
Again I express my reservations about Dillon as the keeper of the key and the coin flip…Dillon has a checkered past and I think a double cross is going to occur; whether it is him or someone else who will be doing the double dealing remains to be seen. Maybe if it is Dillon, Cornette will band together a mass DVD burning of this version of the Straight Shootin' Series as protest.
ROH wants the CZW side to know what a tough battle they have ahead of them. We are going to give you a heads up and announce right here that Samoa Joe will be the first man in the Cage Of Death for ROH.
Joe up first is a strange move, as clean up hitters usually bat fourth. However, if things break right for ROH, Joe can establish a dominating presence and keep the pressure on the CZW crew all throughout the match. If he doesn't this puts a lot of the pressure on the shoulders of BJ Whitmer—who could be put in the position of the comeback man. Of course you still have the mystery partners that can throw all the team strategy right out of the window.
One more match has been signed for this Saturday in Philadelphia. The Embassy of Jimmy Rave and the debut of the new Embassy member will take on Colt Cabana & Jay Fury. Prince Nana has stated that the new Embassy member will make Jimmy Rave an even bigger superstar.
Ladies and Gentlemen, you heard it here first—the ROH debut of THE STILT MAN! He will undoubtedly make Jimmy Rave an even bigger superstar by loaning Rave his stilts! Rave will finally be able to ride the teacups at Disneyland. Or Disneyworld. Wherever those damn teacups are anyway.
We regret to announce that Shingo Takagi will not be able to make this Saturday's show in Philadelphia. Delirious will still be in action. We apologize for this lineup change.
To be honest, I'm kind of glad that Takagi won't make an appearance here because it means that Delirious is fighting someone else and will in all likelihood win, as opposed to having to job to a Japanese wrestler who I don't really enjoy more than the big D.
The new ROH Video Recap is now up at ROHvideos.com. The new ROH Video Recap sees Homicide state that ROH Commissioner Jim Cornette must give him three wishes if he wants Homicide on ROH's side in the Cage Of Death. Cornette is currently trying to decide what to do, since giving Homicide three wishes gives Homicide a lot of power. It is also clear that ROH needs Homicide on its side as Homicide is the only wrestler from ROH that has dominated over CZW. Cornette has a tough decision to make and he will let his decision be known on Saturday's show in an interview segment early on the card. Cornette also has a big announcement to make regarding NOAH star KENTA.
Is it to late to be at the bargaining table for a compromise with Homicide? The announcement about KENTA I can see being the announcement of a title match, either tag or World… OR the big Joe vs. KENTA match everyone is waiting for.
ROH World Champion Bryan Danielson was in a very good mood at the ROH Wrestling School today. Danielson says he is looking forward to stretching and defeating Sonjay Dutt in the ROH World Title Match this Saturday in Philly. Danielson said he wants to embarrass Dutt. Danielson stated that Dutt is the only real CZW homegrown talent that he respects. He wants to defeat Dutt to show the CZW fans how much better he is compared to the best talent CZW has ever developed.
Well, Danielson may say he respects Dutt, but I DON'T. DUTT MUST DIE. Danielson, I'm counting on you to do it!
Chris Hero's Final Say
Via Chris Hero's Live Journal—home of wacky written out promos and musings:
Three days left....
Time is on my side. Yes it is.
Time is on my side because my gameplan has been formulated for quite some time. Ring of Honor hasn't had that luxury. Ever since I threw my "fifth partner" curveball at them, they've been scrambling and trying to figure out what it is that I have up my sleeve. That's a real shame. It's just another thing for them to worry about and it's another thing for me to laugh at. You see, I've never been in an actual Cage of Death match before. But two of my partners have.
How many of the ROH team have fought under those exact circumstances?
None.
And hell, the only wrestler on their entire roster that would have been a perfect fit for the Cage of Death environment is so pissed off at the company that's he turned his back on them!
Yeah, I'm talking about the Notorious 187, Homicide. The most violent and destructive wrestler in ROH won't be in the most brutal and sickening match in ROH history. Homicide will not be making an appearance in our Cage of Death.
Well...
At least not on their side. It certainly wouldn't be the first time I've gotten an ROH wrestler to jump sides. Last time we were in Philly, my man, Claudio Castagnoli shocked the world. What a beautifully executed plan that was. Hm, did I just give away my big secret? You wouldn't think that I would reveal my hand before all the bets were on the table. Maybe I would. Maybe I'm just feeling a little Homicidal right now. I'll tell you this much though, I would make a deal with the Devil Himself just to see Ring of Honor self destruct.
I guess you'll have to find out this weekend. See you Saturday.
-CH
Is the Devil Himself kind of like Raab Himself from Jackass? Isn't it a bit redundant to call the Devil the Devil Himself? Can't we just call him Jim Mitchell, or Vince McMahon?
LATE BREAKING NEWS:Gabe Sapolsky reported on the ROH Message Boards that" Jay Fury will be unable to compete on 7/15 due to an ankle injury. Jay Lethal will make his ROH return to Philadelphia and take Fury's spot as Colt Cabana's tag team partner vs. The Embassy."
We are the champions my friend, and We'll Keep on Fighting, Till the End.
The ROH Tag Team Titles are now officially the ROH World Tag Team Titles. Austin Aries & Roderick Strong successfully retained the belts on July 9th in the main event of Dragon Gate's Tokyo event. Aries & Strong defeated Masato Yoshino & Naruki Doi. Aries & Strong are now undoubtedly the greatest tag team champions in ROH history. In fact, you can call them the best team in all of wrestling. They are the longest reigning ROH Tag Team Champions ever, they have defeated a variety of challengers and taken on all comers, they have defended the belts in Japan and they are the first ROH tag team champions to defend the belts in another promotion in the United States.
Aries and Strong, if they hold on to the titles back in the good ol' U.S. of A will be able to continue to build up their international reputation with defenses of the ROH titles in the United Kingdom in early August. Are they the greatest tag team of all time in ROH? It's either them, The Briscoes or AJ Styles and Red in my book. Where would you slot them?
Jimmy Crack Cornette is Back ROH Commissioner Jim Cornette is ready to get back into the swing of things after knee surgery this Saturday in Philadelphia. Cornette will also be at the 8/26 Chicago event and 9/16 debut at the Manhattan Center in New York City.
As annoying as Chris Hero can be, he does have a point…Cornette has missed a bunch of dates for Ring of Honor. Part of that can be attributed to his injury…but we all know where he was spending the rest of his time after that. Can Cornette properly delegate his authority in ROH when he returns to live appearances? Or will his run ins with a Total Numbing of Authority you know where spoil his reputation and his respect among the ROH roster?
Adding Onto 7/28 special attraction tag team match has been signed for 7/28 in Dayton. It will be The Embassy of Jimmy Rave & the newest Embassy member vs. Davey Richards & Jerrelle Clark.
Okay. Cool. Next.
Cards for Kobashi If you want to send Kenta Kobashi a get well message you can do it now in the pinned topic at the ROHwrestling.com message board. All replies will be sent and translated for Mr. Kobashi.
Sounds like a great idea—contribute your well wishes to the man who is going to kick cancer's ass here.
Your Mid Column Olay
source: tnawrestling.com
OLAY OLAY OLAY OLAY….
OLAY, OLAY…
OLAY! OLAY, OLAY, OLAY…
OLAY, OLAY…
This has been your Mid Column Olay!
ROH Lookalikes
This is something I've been thinking about for the last couple of months…you know the old gag of matching up celebrity look a likes and such. Well, there have been a few times where I've thought… "you know who such and such wrestler looks like?" And of course, many of them stem from ROH… here are some of the too-close-to-be-coincidence celebrity matches I've found, with pictures and comments included for your benefit.
Roderick Strong – Matt Hammil (UFC Ultimate Fighter)
Matt Hammil is noteworthy for being a blue chip prospect featured in season 3 of The Ultimate Fighter reality show. He is deaf but nonetheless became a top class wrestler and Tito Ortiz has recently taken him under his wing. He could be a huge success in UFC in the years to come with Tito's help. Matt and Roderick both have that clean cut, square jawed All-American boy look. They both seem innocent and normal, maybe the average person you'd find as your neighbor. However, under their shared ordinary haircuts and bulging bright eyes lies the hearts of a fighter. The lesson here—don't ever ask your next door neighbor to chop you, because you never know…
Low Ki – Tito Ortiz (UFC)
Speaking of "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy" and sometime TNA special referee, I've always fought Ortiz and Ki shared eerily connections in both their face and their body. They have tight and compact musculature. Both have legit badd ass sensibility. Even better, they both have what I have termed (in endearment) the "evil death stare." You can't deny that there is something of a connection to these guys with both being so completely lethal in the ring
Dave Prazak – Judd Nelson (Actor)
"No, what about you Lenny Leonard?" "FUCK YOU!" Well, Judd Nelson certainly fell down to Earth after those Brat Pack days. Now he can be found on USA Network late night C-list movies…tis a shame. I think the connections between Ol'Bender and Prazak are in the cheekbones, eyes and the parting of the hair…Prazak just might be Nelson's slightly chubbier brother. But don't worry Prazak, it's cool to look like Bender, after all he got to get with Molly Ringwald, and we all know about her and DP…
Nigel McGuinness -- Billy Idol (Pop Singer)
Nigel is a SPIKED blonde haired Brit who is quickly becoming a master at PURE, technical wrestling and the use of an iron adorned with the Union Jack. Billy Idol is a spiked blonde haired Brit known for being a 1980's Pop musician who sometimes wore clothing adorned with the Union Jack. Really, it's all about the hair, but the hair is all you need to connect these two.
for some fun reading, check out Nigel's blurb for his upcoming book here
Jimmy Rave and Leonardo DeCaprio from Romeo +Juliet
Now, I know Spanky's gimmick in Japan was "Leonardo Spanky" because he had a close facial appearance to Mr. Titanic himself, but I've always felt the sweeping hair and devilish grin and piercing eyes of one Jimmy Rave bears a stronger resemblance to Leo, especially in his "Romeo + Juliet" phase.
Samoa Joe—Elvis Presley (You Know Who He Is!)
Elvis was THE KING. Samoa Joe was once King Joe. Both are well dressed men, both have no fear of hair spray fluffing up their cabbage. Elvis was a world wide phenomenon, and Joe has turned out to be quite the phenomenon in talent and influence in the world of wrestling as well. Just don't ask Joe to karaoke to "Hunk a Hunk Of Burning Love."
Do you have a specific ROH-celebrity lookalike? Email me your suggestions and I'll put em in the column!
The Ring of Shame
While I remain one of the more positive Ring of Honor homers on this here website, I have to admit…sometimes ROH has gotten it wrong. While I usually choose to look on the sunny side of all things honorable, once a month I will take a look at an incident or a match that has occurred in Ring of Honor that…well, wasn't quite honorable. In fact, these incidents are far from what I expect out of Ring of Honor, but more like a company that was named…Ring of Shame. Hence, I give to you the column of honor equivalent of Wrestlecrap, the headshaking, fist wagging, embarrassing moments in ROH history, all bound together in one volume known as The Ring of Shame.
By the governing body of the New York State Honorability Commission, elected into the Ring of Shame for July 2006:
BUT FIRST!
Think of a big, massive African American wrestler.
It was Lashley wasn't it?
Or maybe Ahmed Johnson. Or Stevie Ray.
But surely, probably it wasn't:
Slugger
Okay, well first of all, I have no problem with Slugger wrestler himself—in fact I thought he had a ton of potential if used correctly. And at first, Slugger was used correctly in ROH.
The basic concept of Slugger was that he was a lot like 911, only… you know, black (High Fidelity reference!) He was just this big, I mean REALLY big dude dressed up in a MIB suit and sunglasses who came out of the crowd, took care of business by demolishing some fools and then went back to a corner of the building and stood around like nothing happened. THAT was coolness.
One time anyways. The problem was that after one time it really was like 911 all over again. Just beating up on guys…but at least 911 had a reason for doing so, as for a long time he was Paul E. Dangerously's body guard. Viewers had no clue as to what were the intentions of this black dude---hell, he didn't even have a name for the first few appearances.
Then Slugger was paired up with Special K as their hired bodyguard, and that was okay for a while—but really, you could just tell he was slumming it for the paycheck. It was just…meh.
Then there was the few times where another, huger, taller, BIGGER African American would come out after a Special K beat down. Who was this second, more mysterious man? What was his connection to Slugger? Well, damned if I know—because no one ever bothered to explain who he was or why he didn't like Slugger so much that he came to every show to confront him. And OH! The confrontations—epic, non verbal stare downs of mass proportions—truly foreshadowing such great feuds as Great Khali versus The Undertaker. When this mysterious, newer and anonymous black wrestler would just stare at Slugger, finally Slugger would have enough, and SLAP the guy in the face.
OOOOOOH!
And then he would do a sit down power bomb something or other. Whatever.
Get to the point!
Well, that was just it—there really wasn't much of a point. It was just your typical and predictable big man match up. It had some potential, but really, it was just boring. And boring in ROH is just shameful.
So not everyone on the ROH roster back in 2002-2003 was on the level of an American Dragon or Christopher Daniels. Actually, if you looked back, there were a ton of youngsters and developing wrestlers on those early cards, usually in the opening or lower tier matches. It goes to show you that sometimes, the stereotypes about ROH weren't necessarily 100 percent accurate. For better and for worse.
-One of ROH's newest DVD releases from the weekend, How We Roll has a picture of a car tire with hubcap on the cover. Now, I was one of the few people who was fine with the title of the show (stemming from Christian Cage's catchphrase). Others on the ROH message board were bemoaning the lameness of said title, but I was inclined to disagree. However—a car tire? A CAR TIRE? Is this wrestling or NASCAR? The sorry thing is that the car tire is along the type of "so cheesy its bad but its good comedy" I say to get a weird reaction.
-Bayani put up a link in his column to a clip of the Israeli Pro Wrestling Association (which by appearances seems more than a few years old). It's funny because the stereotypes conform to Jewish culture. You've got the Orthodox Jew and the AWESOME catchphrase of "Imru AMEN!" (To the quasi cadence of The Rock's If You Smell What The Rock Is Cooking). You've got the Islamic fundamentalist, at least four years before Vincent Kennedy "… Kennedy! Kelly Kelly Peanut Butter and Shelley" McMahon decided to reignite the xenophobic wars with Hassan and Daivari. Then you've got some of the women, who are equally as outrageous. How about "Ha Morah" --The Teacher! Yes that's right a female teacher turned wrestler. Just tremendous. Check out the Hebrewic action here and if you click here you can see an entertainment program report on the IWPA. Two things stand out from that report: one, "Another Body Murdered", Samoa Joe's first ROH theme song, comes up as background music TWICE during the report, and for some reason…BRET HART is interviewed…about wrestling in Israel! They show clips from WWF around 1996-1997 (Hart Foundation-Austin feud), so that shows you just how far we had to go to find fresh Bret Hart content.
-I know that my TNA predictions for the Roundtable were more caustic and sarcastic than previous months and that's because I have been just a bit upset at TNA and how they've handled the Jeff Jarrett title (non) win situation. Quite frankly, I think it sucks. It left a sour taste in my mouth after watching a fairly decent Slammiversary PPV to have ANOTHER blatant repeat of the Montreal Screwjob, especially when it was Earl Hebner who counted Jeff Jarrett's shoulders down for the three count to give Christian the TITLE WIN back in February. How does it make sense that the same ref who counted the win for Cage also screwed him? I also wasn't happy that Jim Cornette's first rulings on the matter were totally contradictory—giving BACK the title to the guy who cheated to win it? Ridiculous. So yeah, what was my point? Oh, so yeah, despite the negativity I can't deny that the last two weeks of programs on Spike have been very good quality. Solid matches and even better montages and promos. The build up to the four way match with separate interview segments was delivered intelligibly and delivered well by the wrestlers. Each had their points to make and added together gave the impression that the win for each person mattered. Rhyno's promo about the ECW title was a thing of beauty and I agree with Csonka in his 3R's column when he says that this will seal fan loyalty to Rhyno. Of course, TNA really shouldn't mention the competition, but then again it really doesn't matter nowadays when fans know the deal among the companies. Especially when the promotion that is supposedly dead is outdrawing the supposed newest and next big thing. I think Rhyno can get really hot again and make a nice impact in the Fall, where amazingly it was one year ago that the Man Beast won the NWA title! Good work to TNA for delivering solid television shows in the last two weeks—let's just hope they prove that they're back on track on a consistent basis.
-CM Punk continues to deliver the goodness in his thirty second promo clips on the ECW show. I like the focus on his appearance with his tats as a representation of his ideals and beliefs. There is also a certain ambiguity about his character—is he a pure hearted face striving for the best competition? Or will these interview skits take a twist and turn when Punk reveals that his morals and his beliefs make him better than you?
I'm a big fan of the Column of Honor. I definitely wish there was more RoH content at 411mania. You really fly the flag well for us.
Anyway, I'm kind of shocked that, unless I missed it, you never mentioned the best part of The 100th Show: the weird but awesome American Dragon chant! We Philly fans rocked the house with the chant, and my question is, if you're coming to DBDIV, will you try and get it started here again?
Regards,
Marcus Hooks
Thanks for the compliments about the column--I definitely try my best to represent ROH in the wrestling zone. I think we have a nice little core of writers and reviewers doing ROH stuff, but of course I wish there was more attention and consideration given to ROH as it is probably the best "wrestling" company out there nowadays.
You're RIGHT! I totally forgot to mention the American Dragon chant and now I feel really ashamed and embarrassed...well, not really, but I WILL correct that error in the next column. Although from my perspective watching from the comfort of home, it seems more like that Dragon himself started that chant, but at least it caught on and was chanted loudly! I am indeed going to make it to DBDIV. It's my first roadie to Philly for ROH, although I've been there plenty of times and have enjoyed every trip. I'm more of a real good leader for clapping (when the baby faces are down and such) but you can bet I'm definitely going to try to get it started again. Sonjay Dutt deserves that chant for sure!
HELL, it's the One Year Anniversary Column! You know what—fuck it, I'm bringing it back! Here we go folks—
THE WEIRD BUT AWESOME AMERICAN DRAGON CHANT
source: fullimpactpro.com
You're gon-na get
your fuck-ing head kicked in!
CLAP CLAP,CLAP CLAP CLAP
..CLAP, CLAP CLAP, CLAP CLAP
And just for good measure:
Europe-The Final Countdown
We're leaving together
But still it's farewell
And maybe we'll come back
To earth, who can tell?
I guess there is no one to blame
We're leaving ground
Will things ever be the same again?
It's the final countdown...
We're heading for
Venus and still we stand tall
Cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all
With so many light years to go and things to be found
I'm sure that we'll all miss her so
It's the final countdown...
The final countdown...
It's the final countdown.
YEAH!
Alright Philadelphia, you have your mission. Let's see if we can come through.
mtphat2269 writes in: i was wondering if the list you have in your column, are you selling those tapes, or something else that i completely missed...
thanks
No, I'm not selling those tapes, but I am recommending them to anyone who is curious or interested in buying an independent wrestling DVD. Those are DVDs that I feel if someone buys they can be pretty satisfied with a purchase, because of the quality of the matches or certain events that happened within the show. If there is a show recommended on that list usually that means there are at least three to four above average to great matches, which is my personal standard for something that is worth purchase (hence the matches listed in the parentheses). if you're interested in buying some of those releases, you should check out rohwrestling.com (especially when they run percent off sales or buy three get one free), tnawrestling.com or highspots.com and get those events from them. Thanks for reading the column!
ROH Preview: Death Before Dishonor IV Philadelphia, PA July 15th, 2006
Ring Of Honor
July 15, 2006, 8:00pm belltime
Pennsylvania National Guard Armory
2700 Southampton Rd, Philadelphia, PA 19154
Cage Of Death
Team ROH of Samoa Joe, BJ Whitmer, Adam Pearce, Ace Steel & a mystery partner
vs.
Team CZW of Chris Hero, Claudio Castagnoli, Necro Butcher, Nate Webb & a mystery partner
This is it…the war between CZW and ROH has been building and building up to this match on this day. Will this be the end of the rivalries or will this be just another bump in the road? On the one side of the coin, you have team CZW, a mix of those who have and haven't been in a Cage of Death scenario, but for certain all are deadly enough on their own, much less within an ultraviolent environment. On the other side, team ROH is certainly at a disadvantage at first look. However, when you really analyze it, ROH isn't as mismatched as you think. When in a caged environment, Samoa Joe is a beast and almost unstoppable (see Joe vs. Jay Briscoe from At Our Best). Ace Steel and BJ Whitmer are no strangers to the hardcore, weapons filled matches both against each other and separately (Second City Saints vs. The Prophecy, Death Before Dishonor 2 Night 2, Steel vs.Collyer back in April and Whitmer's involvement in the CZW wars). Adam Pearce is street tough and can brawl with the best of them. On Team CZW, Chris Hero is the man behind all the machinations and he is as equally skilled in wrestling as he is cunning. He has played ROH like a grand master chess player throughout the last six months—sending out his pawns, his knights and his rooks—chipping away at ROH mentally and physically, piece by piece. He cannot be underestimated here—who knows what plans he has cooked up for his opponents. Necro bring pure brawling and brutality—a whirling dervish of weapons and fists (although not shoes) and because he is so tough to control, he can certainly can occupy the time of someone on the ROH side. Claudio is both smart and a good heel and he can really get under the skin of the ROH team because of his betrayal. Nate Webb is a CZW Original, which lends a genuine hardcore presence to the proceedings. The of course you have the X-factors—the mystery partners and JJ Dillon as the man in control of the cage. Will Homicide get what he wants to fight for ROH, or will he betray the company he's called home the last four years? Does Hero have someone from ROH's past on his side? Did he indeed make a deal with "a devil", whoever that may be? And what role will Dillon have in the match? Will the crafty and self serving former manager of the Four Horsemen play it straight? Has he been bought off by Chris Hero? Does he have his own agenda? All these questions and more will have to be answered by the end of the night. Be assured, The Cage of Death is going to take something from everyone tonight—the wrestlers sure—but also the fans. It could be ROH's greatest triumph in 2006 or the greatest heartbreak since CM Punk betrayed the fans one year ago at Death Before Dishonor III?
ROH World Title Match
Bryan Danielson defends vs. Sonjay Dutt
Sonjay backdoored his way into getting a shot for the most prestigious belt on the independent scene through the "Open Contract Challenge" provision of Danielson's title reign. If Dutt wants to be foolish enough to challenge the "Best Wrestler in the World," then Danielson is just going to have to oblige with one of the best ass kickings in the world. Bottom line is, Sonjay Dutt is dead in this match, and most of us ROH fans are going to enjoy being witnesses to the murder scene
Special Challenge Match
AJ Styles vs. Davey Richards
It's new school verses newer school as the best up and comer of the first half of this decade takes on perhaps the fastest rising act ever in ROH. Richards has only been on a few shows but he's already slotted up against tough competition such as Styles and KENTA. This is the big chance for Richards to prove that the walk lives up to the talk. Richards is hard hitting, tough to handle, has some impressive finishing moves (Tiger Driver '98, Crossface, Shooting Star) but Styles is at the peak of his game and will test Richards on every level. If Richards wins it will be an upset, but either way a good showing will prove that Davey will be the future of ROH.
Tag Team Attraction
Jay & Mark Briscoe vs. Irish Airborne
This should be a very solid undercard tag match. The Briscoes need to keep adding wins to prove they deserve more ROH title shots. Irish Airborne need great performances and maybe the upset win to catapult them to the top of the tag division.
Jim Cornette addresses the crowd. Topics include: A) KENTA B) If Homicide will be granted three wishes to be in Cage Of Death
Cornette's first real big dilemma on his hands—give a boatload of match making power to Homicide in trade for his needed services—or say "no" and piss off EVERYONE, Homicide and ROH fans alike?
) Pure Title Match
Nigel McGuinness defends vs. Roderick Strong
I was at the first PURE title match between the two last year at Glory By Honor IV and it was a solid if unspectacular match. Both have had an immense amount of growth in their game since then and I expect a hotter match as a result. I don't expect the title switch here.
Tag Team Challenge
Colt Cabana & Jay Lethal vs. Jimmy Rave & the newest Embassy member with Prince Nana & Daizee Haze
Lethal fills in for an injured Fury, but it should be fun to see him back in ROH action. Should be another solid tag match, although it remains to be seen the extent to which this addition to DEE EM BAH SEE will impact matters.
ROHVideos.com Match
Delirious vs. Seth Delay
Delay is up from FIP in Florida and gets a chance to perform in front of a different crowd. Delirious should pick up the win in this showcase match.
**The Independent Buy In**
Support independent pro wrestling, ROH or non ROH, I don't care. But if you out there are spending so much time complaining about how WWE sucks, then dammit, spend some money so you won't have to spend so much time complaining. This list stays in the column and will be added to as the year goes on. Remember: don't bow out, BUY IN!
(Full list back next week)
**IWC Super Indy V (Low Ki / Abyss, Sydal / Petey Williams, Delirious / Sydal, Shelley / Reyes, Gambino Bros. Moving Co. / Burning River Brigade—M Dogg 20 and Josh Prohbition) (NEW ADDITION)
International Wrestling Cartel (which ironically mainly holds shows in Pennsylvania) annually holds its "Super Indy" tournament featuring some of its homegrown indy talent matching up with some of the best independent wrestlers of the time period. Past winners have included Hentai, Colt Cabana, Chris Sabin and IWC darling John McChesney. The fifth iteration of the tournament is the playground for Delirious, Claudio Castagnoli, Glenn Spectre, Troy Lords, Alex Shelley, Petey Williams, Rickey Reyes and Matt Sydal to do battle. As a result we come up with some fun match combinations, mostly all at around the magic three star level of worthiness. Yet this DVD isn't solely about the Super Indy tournament no no no, this is a tightly set up event with solid to very good non tourney matches. The highlight by a first time encounter between Low Ki and Abys, which turns out to be a very good big man-little man combination and also plays into IWC storylines of the "Unholy Alliance" (heel turned IWC champion Shirley Doe, Sebastian Dark and Hentai) running roughshod over the company. You'll also get a damn fine tag title match with the (unassuming at first glance yet competent) Gambini Brothers Moving Company (and a damn good tag name at that) matching up with long time indie stars M Dogg 20 and Josh Prohibition. These guys, if you've never seen them, let me tell you they have some moves on them. The match has good structure and builds up to a nice crescendo, which also serves to keep their program going. A Super Indy High Challenge featuring the four past winners of the tournament and a six man grudge match between the IWC Coalition of the Willing and The Unholy Alliance cap off this very worthy DVD product. Check it out—you can get it for about $15 bucks and it's worth every penny.
**Hardcore Homecoming: November Reign PLATNIUM EDITION. (Lynn / Polaco Cage Match, Douglas / Pitbull Gary Wolfe Dog Collar, Matt Hyson / CW Anderson. Bonus DVD: Sabu / Al Snow, Chris Benoit / 2 Cold Scorpio, Psicosis / Rey Mysterio Jr., Lynn / Polaco) (NEW ADDITION)
This is the follow up DVD event to the original Hardcore Homecoming—the Shane Douglas produced ECW (although he can't say those initials) reunion show that ran simultaneously to ECW One Night Stand in June 2005. This event, obviously enough, took place in November of 2005 (as ECW was traditionally known for its spectacular "November to Remember" events). The first thing to note is that this baby comes in two editions—a single disc "regular" version and the version I am recommending, the double disc "Platnium Edition". The difference between the two is that the regular version has a seventh match from the main program that for some reason was left out of the PE, that being Terry Funk and SABU vs. Team 3-D. That match was supposedly a pretty cool happening and Brother Ray mad e a huge To-Do speech in honor of Terry Funk, who had been inducted into the "Hardcore Hall of Fame" at that very event (the induction is included on the PE DVD). So BUYER AWARE, if you want that match, be sure to get the right version!
Now, what you want to do though, is to get THIS DVD version because minus the one match, you get the rest of this particular Hardcore Homecoming event PLUS a FULL BONUS DISC of like seven or eight matches, and they are some pretty good ones at that. You get four bonus matches from other Hardcore Homecoming tour stops including a reprise of the Meanie-Tracy Smothers match from the original event. There is also a solid tag match with Roadkill and DannY Doring matching up against CW Anderson and Chris Chetti. My personal favorite is the Jerry Lynn-PJ Polaco match which even outdoes the main event of the main disc, which was a steel cage match between the two. Things get better though with flashbacks to ECW stars in early appearances, including a look at a beard-less and head-less Al Snow matching up against a dashingly young and handsome with less scarring Sabu (featuring the maniacal interference of that middle Aged and Crazy Bastard Terry Funk)! Then you get 2 Cold vs. Chris Benoit from about 1994 or so, a triple threat from XPW between Lynn, Psicosis and Juventud Guerrera. Finally in the Piece De La Resistance, you get an old school 2 out of 3 falls Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera match from Mexico in the early 90's, with special commentary by Konnan! Some of these matches are fan camera shots and the aforementioned Mysterio match has a lack of close ups (and is a really archaic one shot set up) but these matches are buried treasures that would be worth the purchase alone. Packaged with the Hardcore Homecoming event which in itself is pretty good and carries with it a few surprises, it is a very solid recommendation. Just be sure you know which version you are getting before you confirm your purchase.
ROH @ 411
J.D. Dunn gets up to the ROH Reborn era, kicking off the "modern" era (2004-2006) of ROH storylines. Check out his reviews of Stage One and Stage Two --where it all began again—or was that some other such promotion?
Dunn also gives you a peek into the exhibition style Do or Die preshows, Do or Die II and III are bundled together on one DVD, but Dunn takes each on separately, starting with II. Dunn also wrote up a review for the 2nd Anniversary Show that I missed plugging last week by just about an hour. Talk about the luck.
Brad Garoon shant be overlooked, especially since he remains the man for hooking me up with the CM Punk debut from last week. Check out his ongoing FIP reviews including Heatstroke '05 Night One
Honor Bound Links
Apparently Michael Coughlin (Half Guarded Truth) over at Figure 4 Weekly likes the phrase "A Bear" and will try to include it into his Five Star Radio Show that he does over there. That's more than enough for me to give top pluggage. Check out the F4W Empire and therefore Monseuir Coughlin, who is of no relation to the ROH referee of the same name. But don't worry Larry, I won't get a bit head about it.
Scott Slimmer is in with this week's Saturday News Column.
Rajah and Sat give the highs and lows of Rajah and Sat-urday Night's Main Event. Yeah that was a god awful fit, but it was the best I could do.
Michael Weyer Shines the Spotlight on Death and Destruction…sounds fun.
Fifty two straight weeks of columns…whooo! Didn't see that one coming. Some of you might know that I began my writing for 411 in the music zone doing reviews and some columns there…but the whole reason I found 411 was wrestling—as a lifelong wrestling fan interested in finding news and information all around the WWW. It wasn't my intention to do a wrestling column, but for some reason I found myself with less and less to write about for 411 music, and missing deadlines was not what I was about…I know I expected better of myself and wanted to do better for 411. An idea kept coming back to me, born of my appreciation for Ring of Honor. At first, I shied away from suggesting the idea to Larry Csonka because I didn't think I could do the thing justice. However, what did it for me was the title—column of honor. It just seemed to fit, man. It would be a shame if there wasn't a column dedicated to Ring of Honor, especially when it was on such a roll. It deserved some extra attention on 411 besides the awesome DVD reviews. So I finally bit the bullet…and now here we are. And it's been awesome so far and it's keeping on keeping on, right into one of the most awesome six week runs in the history of ROH. But that's not a surprise, considering when I began one year ago, we had the Summer of Punk changing things forever.
Thank you all… the positive emails from the 411 readers and from the many ROH message boarders have kept me going strong. I've gotten positive feedback by internet luminaries and contemporaries, from some people who work for ROH and from my fellow writers at 411 that have been tremendous. And since I don't get paid with money (Ashish, we should talk…) the feedback I get IS my payment.
Thanks to Stu, Steve, Bayani and the rest of the 411 staff for the correspondence and the fun debate.
Thanks to Larry and to Ashish who have always been professional and positive with me. Thanks to Melchor for being an awesome music editor. Thanks to Widro for getting me started at 411.
Writing this column has been worth it, even with the sacrifice of a Friday night or a Saturday morning to the altar of my computer screen. It's been a ton of effort, but not one second of this has been work. The subject matter of wrestling, of Ring of Honor wrestling, makes it that way.
Next week, the low down from the 7/15 road trip and the break down of the Death Before Dishonor event. I'll be going via the bus trip down to Philly with my ROH running buddy Chris (bet you knew I wasn't going to leave you out of the column, bro). I'll be wearing a custom made "I HAVE UNTIL 5!" American Dragon red T-shirt, so if you happen to see me come by and say hello. See you next week! Philadelphia!
--Ari--
