MeeThinks 7.18.06: Hulkamania Runs… Mild?
Posted by John Meehan on 07.18.2006
Is there still some gas left in the Red & Yellow express?
"Methinks thou speak'st not well.
How long is't since?"
- Cominus, Coriolanus
Act I, scene vi
Welcome back to your weekly break from the IWC norm! Now fortified with more ESCLUSIVE Impact Zone photos and screencaps than you can shake a stick at! (just keep scrolling… it's all down there, I promise)!
This week, we're returning to form and tackling one of the hottest controversies in the wrestling world today as we break down the return of Hulkamania and the Hulkster's upcoming feud against "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton. Glossary entries are BACK and plenty of reader mail (now presented in an easier-to-read format!) are below, so sit back and relax as this positivity train gets rolling full speed ahead!
Now then, to this week's debate…
(cue animated .gif numero uno… preferably with a hottie crowd plant, if possible)
Crowd plant or implant(s)? YOU DECIDE!!!
In the mean time, let's floss and fly this mo' fo… ALL over ‘dis bitch.
(Points to anyone who gets *that* reference).
Rock & roll.
Our Story So Far…
After fading into reality TV-land obscurity for the better part of the past calendar year, Hulk Hogan is once again back in an "on again" upswing in his relationship with World Wrestling Entertainment, and he is slated to work this year's SummerSlam opposite "The Legend Killer" Randy Orton. "Legend" versus "Legend Killer" indeed!
Though Hogan's appearance (with songstress daughter Brooke in tow) did little to buoy the Saturday Night's Main Event rating, the fact remains that the Red and Yellow is back in full force (for at least the next six weeks) and plenty of the interwebs (including at least one of 411's own) have been quick to voice their disapproval at The Hulkster's imminent return.
"He's got nothing left! Shawn carried him through last year's SummerSlam match!"
"He won't put Orton over and the program will do nothing for Orton in the long run!"
"Plugging Hogan into current storylines simply makes no sense and reeks of nostalgia-desperation!"
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Alright, enough of this negativity crap… let's see if we can't find a logical (and hopefully more *positive*) explanation for the Hogan/Orton feud in a little column I likez ta' call…
MeeThinks?
The fact that some "fans" are already crapping all over a Hogan return is nothing short of mind blowing to Mee. Here we have the greatest draw in wrestling history (and, arguably, the single most popular performer ever to step foot in a North American ring), and *still* fans find reasons to nitpick and get themselves bent out of shape over the very mention of the man's name. The guy is *literally* the (perhaps self-proclaimed) "Babe Ruth of wrestling," and here we've got the opportunity to see him go toe-to-toe with the one guy who's ENTIRE GIMMICK is based on his disrespect for the best of the old-timers… and STILL people complain!
Sheesh.
Seeing Hogan ("The Babe Ruth of Wrestling") coming in for a one-off appearance every now and again should make wrestling fans feel much the same as if The Great Bambino himself were returning for a one-off Home Run Derby against a modern-day "legend-on-the-rise" like Barry Bonds. It's not like he's set to headline the company's biggest card, ya' know (that'd be like having Babe on the starting lineup for the Yankees)… he's simply being brought in for a "new versus old" war for the ages, and one that's not likely to earn any higher than second or third billing at SummerSlam (and even lower at ‘Mania, if it makes it that long) at that. In other words? Hulk's not "main-eventing" the All-Star Game or the World Series, folks… he's merely being trotted out for a Home Run Derby-type mini-program a few days (well, weeks) early to help add some hype to the *real* main event that is the SummerSlam ("All-Star Game?") card to follow.
Though I was *adamantly* opposed to pitting Hogan against Austin for last year (or next year)'s WrestleMania main event (as it was nothing more than a nostalgia showcase of TWO guys with nothing left to prove), as a *wrestling* fan I for one am all for watching a bona-fide LEGEND like The Hulkster step into the ring for a novelty match against an up-and-comer from time to time if it'll help bridge the generation gap and give a much-needed starpower "rub" to somebody younger than 40.
Unlike the rumored Austin/Hogan contest that never was, THIS showdown actually has the potential to put some heat on a FULL TIME performer *regardless* of the outcome of the program. Win or lose, Orton is certainly in line for some *major* fan reaction simply by virtue of the fact that he had the *audacity* to challenge a living legend like The Hulkster. And if you'll note, ever since Randy bombed as the World Champion — he's been in desperate need for some good old-fashioned heel heat of his own (heat, might I add, that does *not* come by virtue of slagging on or desecrating the memory of the late Eddie Guerrero).
As such…
Pitting Orton against Hulk Hogan makes perfect sense. Since dropping the World Title almost two whole years ago, Randy's heel credibility has undeniably been on the wane (because honestly, now… trading matches back and forth with Kurt Angle? Or The Undertaker? Bona fide "superstars" and eventual Hall of Famers, yes… but win-some-lose-some is no "Legend Killing" in my book, and such tainted victories are certainly nowhere NEAR the caliber of downing pioneers like Flair and Hogan).
Now then…
If he *wins* his match against Hogan at SummerSlam, Orton will have carte blanche to bragging rights that he's beaten "the biggest legend of all time" (at least till their inevitable return-match, perhaps at WrestleMania, no?). But then again, if Hulk goes through another of his "off-again" periods with WWE right around next year's WrestleMania time, then Orton comes off looking like a million bucks as The Hulkster never gets his win back from The Legend Killer, and *presto* — young guy goes over *THE BIGGEST NAME IN THE INDUSTRY* and never even has to repay the win in the process!
Don't say it can't happen, either… a LOT of things can change (especially when talking Hogan, match outcomes, and PPV paydays) in six months' time, ya' know.
Then again, if Orton *wins* his match at SummerSlam and Hogan continues to play nice with Vince & Co. through WrestleMania time (thus inevitably ensuring a Hulkster win at the Big Dance), Orton still comes out of the feud better off then he went into it, as he'll have had six solid months of bragging rights before rolling into WrestleMania with fans simply DYING to see Hulkamania run wild on this punk to put him in his place once and for all. And if Orton wins at SummerSlam and the Hogan-Orton rematch can be held off till ‘Mania, then we're looking at a no-brainer sub-main-event draw (much like the Undertaker's unbeaten streak) that is simultaneously GUARANTEED to pull in the fans (dying to see Orton get his comeuppance, much like they're dying to see just *who* — if anybody — can beat the Undertaker at ‘Mania) while it keeps the guy both strong and otherwise occupied so as to free up more room for the actual RAW-side of the WrestleMania main event for the World Title.
And if Orton loses at SummerSlam?
So what! A clean, decisive loss to The Hulkster at WWE's second-biggest pay per view of the year will certainly go a LONG way in reminding the youngster just how low on the company totem poll he really is, and perhaps a nice little "put you in your place" match is *exactly* what the brash young (real-life) Orton needs to take him down a notch and show him just how expendable he really can be if he refuses to "play ball" with the rest of the boys.
Let's not forget how Triple H was jobbed so unceremoniously to Henry O. Godwinn not so many years ago, folks. Sometimes, taking your knocks and doing the proverbial j-o-b can be vital to teaching a performer what it means to be a true company man. I mean heck, comparing Orton's case to that of Triple H: love him or hate him, you simply *have* to admit that Hunter learned his lesson eventually "knew his role" and discovered just what it meant to put the right people over — Goldberg, Benoit, Orton, Batista, Cena — for "the good of the business."
Same goes for Orton.
Jobbing him to Hogan?
The company sends a clear-cut message to Orton of "know your role and shut your mouth," chucko. The loss takes him down a peg (in real-life) and warns him that he's *thisclose* to becoming this generation's Lex Luger. Wake-up call city, and a bit of humble pie never hurt anyone, ya' know?
On top of all of that… Hogan's "Legend" (and his real-life agenda) are a PERFECT fit with Orton's character (and his real-life attitude problem), so I'd argue that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with bringing back The Hulkster at this point in his career for a feud against Randy Orton. Heck, one might even argue that bringing Hogan back at a time like this (and for a feud like this) makes *even more* sense than any of his earlier WWE returns ever did!
Why, you ask?
Looking at the people *behind* the onscreen characters, any "smart" fan can tell you that the "real life" stories break down thusly…
Orton – off camera, he's an egotistical ass who thinks he's God's gift to women and clearly needs to be put in his place. Likes to poop in fellow employees' gym bags and has a nasty habit of talking shit on female coworkers.
Hulk – overprotective father and a savvy (even ruthless) businessman who's always got a hidden agenda. Looking to protect his daughter from all sorts of trouble, while at the same time promoting the hell out of her singing career and earning an easy (and sizable) payday or two along the way.
Brooke – desperate for media attention, simultaneously blessed and stifled by her daddy's famous last name. Also forbidden to date any guys that daddy-dearest doesn't approve of, as we've learned from her reality show upbringing. Willing to play a part in a wrestling storyline in order to hitch her horses to the Hulkamania bandwagon in hopes that it'll kickstart her singing career.
So *remind* Mee again why pitting these three people in such a no-brainer angle as "famous dad tries to get his daughter famous and dick Romeo-wannabe (with no respect) comes crashing the party" is a BAD idea? It's virtually a carbon copy of *every single episode* of Hogan Knows Best, folks (which, one might argue, means that it's virtually just an exaggerated version of *every single day* in the Hogan Bollea household!)
Say…
Don't just about all of the best pro wrestling characters and storylines derive their momentum from "exaggerated versions of real life people and scenarios?"
Thought so.
But since we're talking "characters" here, let's look at the onscreen characters each of these "real life" people play…
Randy Orton — young, cocky and attractive self-proclaimed "Legend Killer," whose entire gimmick developed out of his "better than the best" swagger and his ability to upend even the most accomplished of wrestling's forefathers. Penchant for womanizing logical, but optional.
Hulk Hogan — arguably the biggest "Legend" in the history of North American professional wrestling. He also just so happens to "play the role" of an overprotective father on his reality TV show, ya' know.
Brooke Hogan — a real-life singer/songwriter with a famous daddy playing the "character" of an aspiring pop superstar trying to make her way out of her father's rather sizable shadow. Oh yeah, she just so happens to "play the role" on a weekly television show of an overprotected daddy's girl who's just dying to spread her leg… err, "wings."
Again…
*Remind* Mee why plugging these three characters into such a no-brainer angle as "overprotective dad tries to trade on his legacy to shill daughter's career until cocky young ‘Legend Killer' upstart comes crashing the party" is in any way a BAD idea?
Does it conflict with *any* of these "characters" onscreen personae?
Does it run in contrast with *any* of the information that we know about these people in real life?
Does it get Orton some much-needed heat while simultaneously keeping Randy in the main event AND still freeing up some room in the RAW title picture for WrestleMania?
Does it have the potential to draw all kinds of money and make for several weeks (if not MONTHS) of entertaining television along the way (regardless of how good or bad the actual payoff match really is)? And shoot… even if the payoff match *really is* that bad, will it *really* be any worse than anything else Hulkster churned out in the last 30 years (save *maybe* Hogan/Warrior I, Hogan/Andre and Hogan/Savage I)?
No, no, yes, yes and no.
In other words?
All the right answers mean that a Hogan/ Orton feud will be an outstanding addition to WWE's SummerSlam lineup, and I for one just can't wait to see how this thing unfolds at every step along the way!
Agree? Disagree?
"Methinks it sounds a parley to provocation!"
- Iago, Othello
Act II, scene iii
Shoot Mee YourThinks and I'll post your thoughts next week!
In the meantime…
The Unofficial Glossary of Professional Wrestling: Volume XXXI
We're compiling a massive Wrestling Glossary of fan observations of the clichés, trends, and standbys of the wrestling world that might as well serve as the unofficial "rulebook" for this sport we all love so well. Each week, I'll post one an entry of my own as well as a few submitted by you, my faithful (and hopefully articulate) readers.
It's simple, really. You submit an entry, I add it to the Glossary, and you get the credit.
This week's entries…
The Top Rope Elbow Drop Conundrum
If a wrestler performs a top rope elbow drop and the portion of his arm between the elbow and shoulder blade lands on his opponent (despite the fact that the other 95% of the wrestler's bodyweight will land squarely on the mat itself), the mere fact that the elbow alone has made contact with an opponent will ensure that the attacking wrestler will not be affected by the impact. However, if the opponent moves and the attacker's *entire* arm lands on the mat, his ENTIRE body will feel the impact of the failed maneuver and he is required by an unwritten (and inexplicable) law to sell the botched landing and play dead for a good 30 seconds. - Mike Ray
The EXTREME Weapons Paradox
Use of a weapon in a regular match is usually enough to just about kill one's opponent. However, if a wrestler finds himself in a specialty match where weapons are allowed, said weapons will inflict no more damage than a regular punch, and will almost NEVER gain him a pinfall. For that, a wrestler will still need to execute his or her finishing maneuver… preferably on a table or a bed of thumbtacks. - GL Corps
The Empty Boot Knockout Rule
Getting hit in the face by an opponent wearing a boot (with a foot in it) sure hurts alright, but getting hit in the face with an empty boot (see also: Konan, Eddie Guerrero, Miss Elizabeth, etc.) could damn near kill you. - Ray, just Ray
The Big Man's Limited Run Phobia Proviso
If you're a huge guy who's not supposed to be afraid of anything, sooner or later it will be revealed that you are DEATHLY afraid of one thing or another. Be it snakes (see: Giant, Andre the), caskets (see: Ugandan Giant, Kamala the), or barbed wire (see: Abyss, The Monster) — it's just a matter of time before a much-smaller opponent will discover your greatest fear and proceed to exploit it to his advantage. Ironically, once this fear-driven-feud has been settled, a magical memory wipe will afflict all members of the company roster, and all of the big man's future opponents will conveniently forget to employ the big man's greatest fear in their subsequent attempts to best him (e.g. – you don't see Brother Runt using barbed wire to scare off Abyss now, do you?). - Meehan
The Royal Rumble Run Around
Unless your name is The Ultimate Warrior, you should *never* ever run to the ring or charge at an opponent in the Royal Rumble match. Should you make this mistake, you will inevitably you're your own momentum working against you as you are propelled over the top rope shortly thereafter. - IdleWild
The Gimmick Match Outrage Clause
Whenever a "gimmick" match is announced (Hell in a Cell, ladder, etc.) by a show's authority figure, heels will *always* react with a face expressing both outrage and fear. Their face opponents, meanwhile, will always emote expressions of contentment and satisfaction at such an announcement (e.g., the face will smile coyly as if he has the heel in the palm of his hands now, and the heel will become pissed off at the GM for making it a gimmick match). This is, of course, ironic — as virtually *all* gimmick matches are "no disqualification" rules, thus enabling heels to cheat all the more in order to defeat their usually rule-abiding face opponents. - Dante1st
Great work, all! Plenty more glossary entries in the weeks to come, but I could definitelyyou're your feedback to keep this thing rolling at full steam! So keep those entries coming, and we'll do it again next week!
But for now… onto the rest of the feedback (in a brandy-new, user-friendly format!!!)!
YouThinks Reader Mail
Plenty of reader feedback on tap for this week, with EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS, firsthand TNA "road stories," a healthy dose of emo-bashing (cause what are they gonna' do? Go "Screaming Infidelities" at Mee?), and a few animated screencaps from last week's iMPACT! thrown in for good measure! Good times ahead, I assure you.
With all of these things classin' up the joint, I figure it was only right that I changed the YouThinks section to a more reader-friendly format to boot (translation: no more italics), so read on and do let Mee know what you think, eh?
(As always, feel free to shoot Mee YourThinks on this week's debate and we'll post them in next week's column)
Alright, no more jibber-jabber. Ladies first, as always! This one comes from the lovely Miss Andrea Shubert:
Awesome recap of the Impact taping!
I read your column every week, and never bothered to send email. Now, I have. Awesome recap, I was laughing the whole time. Well done.
- Andrea Shubert
Thanks for the kind words and feedback, Andrea! We could use more readers like you (as Lord knows professional wrestling sites are always hurting for female readership!). Glad you enjoyed the recap, and thanks again for reading! With any luck, I'll hammer out a live Smackdown/ECW recap from DC's MCI Verizon Center in much the same vein next month!
Next up? Paul from across the pond, who says I'm HUGE in Europe no less!
Evening John
Just thought I'd drop you an email to say how much I enjoyed your last column regarding your trip to the impact zone. I doubt my bosses appreciated me reading your stuff but needless to say I got pretty much nothing done on Thursday of last week and the carry on with Steiner and The James Gang had me in stitches with laughter. Anyway this led to me keeping a close eye on this weeks Impact (as we are a week behind) which by my reckoning makes you famous over here in England......if only in one household.
All the best
- Paul
Liverpool, England
Thanks for writing, Paul! Glad to hear that even those proper Euro types are not above a bit of on-the-job slacking while reading a wrestling column or two! Slacking on the job, eh? How American of you!
Seriously, though — awesome to hear that you enjoyed the show (and my antics), and I'm sure you'll get a kick out of our little repartee with the James Gang on this week's broadcast! Be on the lookout for the animated screencaps a bit lower down in this report to see just what I'm talking about, and thanks again for your feedback!
This next one comes in from across the country and way out on the west coast. Home of Nirvana and a coffee megachain, if I'm not mistaken. Go for it, Ian!
TNA trip
as always....brilliant job man.
thanks for sharing.
and even though i live in seattle...and i hate
florida, you've inspired to fly down for a little trip
to the impact zone.
ryan
Thanks for the support, dude! And if you're really planning on making the trip to TNA land (or if any other readers would like to do the same), just shoot Mee an e-mail and I'll be more than happy to include any live recap/thoughts/feeback/photos you might have in a future column!
Speaking of…
Adam Nelson was also in attendance at the last TNA taping, and he was kind enough to send a slew of EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS (you can even see Emo Volcom Kid's chubby little melon of a head in some of them) along this little gem:
I actually got to meet a few of the wrestlers after the show since the person I was next to in line helps with an indy promotion around here and told me a restaurant a lot of them go to after the show.
She introduced me to Elix Skipper, SoCal Val and Kenny King. She was going to introduce me to Monty, but he was on the phone when he got there. I also saw James Storm, Bobby Roode, Eric Young, Brother Runt, and a few others, but didn't want to disturb them while they were eating (and watching the end of Raw on one of the restaurant's TVs). Kenny was really nice, and it ends up that he almost ended up going to Iowa State University, where I just graduated from in May.
Next time I go (probably September), I'm definitely taking a "Nobody Moves... Nobody Cares" sign.
- Adam Nelson
Thanks for writing, Adam! And thanks even more for that slew of EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS that you were kind enough to send along as well!
This one comes from a guy named after that thing we walk on. Perhaps it's the Emo Volcom Kid:
You sure are ugly.
- Flor Mitchel Palacay Tomas
Thanks for writing, Floorboard. "Ugly," eh? Your mother didn't seem to mind! HIYO!!!
Moving to more worthwhile letters (sorry, Floorspace)… here's some Impact Zone thoughts from Chris Tighe:
Glad you enjoyed your trip to Orlando for the show.
I went back for Turning Point? I think...It was the AJ Styles vs Samoa Joe match.
I'm originally from the Florida Panhandle and thought you couldn't get better than three nights of indy wrestling esp. since I am an indy worker myself (Yep...Cheap plug...)
One thing I have noticed though was we were sitting behind the announcers table in those small ass bleachers on the very top where you aren't actually sitting on a seat but rather the back of the rail...
The promos are actually usually live and from up there you can see the backstage area. I saw Christian cut his promo as well as Abyss get bandaged up from his barbwire match with Sabu.
Anyway, the main reason I said something was because if you want to see some more So Cal Val, next time you are in Orlando find a FIP show...
Great stuff, she works as a heel manger over there...
The crowd was lame but me and a few buddies got them on their feet by the same thing you were doing in Orlando...That happen to come to one of the funniest things of the night...
Colt Cabanna and Sal were working the Heartbreak Express and, Val made a deal with Cabanna earlier in the night. Well, Colt didn't keep his side of things so Val responded with "You Lied!"
That's when bragging rights came in...
Colt Cabanna then pointed at her and said "You Lied! About being a virgin! I saw the tape with him, him and him!" pointing towards me and my two buddies I went with...The crowd ate it up and so did we because she is so hott.... Figured I'd share my trip down to Orlando too though. Take it easy.
- Chris Tighe
Awesome stuff, Chris. Now the million dollar question… didja' really score with So Cal Val or what? After all, everybody's heard the rumors of how Lita used to "make the rounds" in the Indy locker rooms… maybe you've got a few "road stories" to share about So Cal Val, eh?!
I keed, I keed.
But seriously, send photos! ;-)
Next up - Doug ("Giant?") Bernard, no stranger to a TNA taping himself!
Glad you had fun!
though it pisses me off because I used to live in Orlando but had to move back to Miami about the same time TNA started taping there and was only able to go to one of them.
love the stories man...... especially love the So Cal Val pic
nice job with the James Gang..... hey if they don't want to be razed on the whole DX thing they should learn to never bring that shit up on TNA tv, they bring it on themselves
I had wrote you before you left to give you an idea of what to expect at Impact but I completely forgot to warn you about hick jokes. You see Florida is weird. There are so many northerners living south of Disney that you wouldn't really consider it to be the South. But starting in Orlando and heading north your in Dixie Land my good man. Hick jokes don't really fly.
My best example, and you'll love this, was at a show in a small town just north of Orlando. The late John Tenta had a wrestling school up there and was putting on a show which included Tenta vs. Scott Hall as the main event. During a prize ticket giveaway they had the winner got into the ring sporting a most awesome mullet. Well I yelled out "Nice mullet" in a tone that could be considered bad. Needless to say I did not get good looks from people including many sporting their own variation on that most marvelous of hair styles. So I am not surprised that your three toothed comment didn't go over to well.
oh yeah and ABYSS RULES!
- Doug Bernard
Thanks for writing, Doug. TOTALLY agree with you on the Abyss comment (gotta' love DC, no?) and I'll definitely make note of the "no hick jokes" proviso for my next taping!
You're absolutely right that if the Middle Age Outlaws James Gang didn't want the dX stuff brought up that they simply shouldn't have traded on their WWE "legacy" to help get themselves over. Once they opened those floodgates, though… all's fair in love and war, right?
And since "all's fair" and whatnot, here's a few animated screencaps of my little altercation with the erstwhile "Mr. Ass"…
In this first image, you can see Kip has broken stage rule numero uno and decided to respond to our heckling rather than be a professional and play to the camera side. Strike one, Hairplug Harry.
In this second image, you can see that Kip continues to jaw-jack at our section rather than keeping the in-ring angle development with Abyss alive. If you squint, you might even be able to make out Mee rubbing a nipple his way, just to piss the guy off. Strike two, by the way.
And in this final image, you'll note that the "artist formerly known as Billy Gunn" keeps up the smack talking, only to be gang-smacked by the entire Meehan clan. In sequence, you'll see my brother Rock Star Josh in the middle showing some nipple, while I (on the left) make the universal Mickie James "tongue through the fingers" hand motion, followed by a throw-down hand gesture inviting him to "bring that shit, bitch" and, of course, more nipple rubbing to hammer home the effeminate ridiculousness of our favorite WWE wash-up's tied-off t-shirt and baby girl ringlet-locks. Swing and a miss, Kiperoo… Meehans win!
First-time Mee-mailer Brandon gets punny and shows a keen eye for detail:
You can imagine my surprise when I saw Mee on tv. I don't remember
going to Orlando, nor wearing yellow hot dog shirts, but, sure enough,
when I looked at my TV, there was Mee. It was odd. Especially when Kip
James yelled at Mee. Odd indeed.
- Brandon
Cute, Brandon. Glad you enjoyed the column. ;-)
Ian Colwell appears to have enjoyed last week's outing, too… so much so that he looks to be considering a little vacation down south! But don't take my word for it:
First of all, I have to say, I'm not normally a weekly reader of your
column or a regular e-mailer (except Hidden Highlights), but this week's column caught my eye, and didn't let me down. I thoroughly enjoyed the column, from the images, the matches, and the description of the entire event. Well written, and I think I'll be reading you more often from now on.
Oh, and next time I'm in Orlando, I'll be sure to try and go to an Impact taping.
Thanks for everything, and keep up the good work.
-Ian
Thanks Ian! Great to see that I've managed to win at least one new fan over to the Impact Zone! Some other readers, like Joe Rand found last week's column to be a bit of a blast from the past:
I loved the column. I don't read too many of the random writings about wrestling on the internet anymore, but I read yours to see how the "TNA Experience" had changed. I'm from Nashville and nearly went to every single TNA show(all 100 or so) here. I even paid my $10 to sit front row every week. It seems like it hasn't changed too much. I loved the adventures/chants/jeers with the guys.
Throughout the two years or so in Nashville, I've accumulated my share of hilarious chants/interactions. During a Sonny Siaki/Sandman feud, Sandman tapped me on the shoulder (I was standing near the corner of two guardrails) and quipped "Excuse me, I work here", and I turned around and was dumbstruck and he took my seat so he could spit beer in Siaki's face after his match and then use my chair to jump up and attack Siaki.
I also belly flopped on top of Vince Russo in a brawl through the crowd, not on purpose. While I stood on my chair to watch Jarrett beat Russo through the crowd, in the gap between the seats and bleachers, Jarrett suddenly decided to go back to the ring and tossed Russo towards the chairs, and he rolled through the first couple rows(cleared out by smarter people), and hit my chair out from under me, causing me to fall on top of him before getting out of dodge.
My favorite would have to be in the REALLY early days when Brian Lawler had a promiscuous girlfriend, a few people and I started up a "I fucked April" chant that nearly made the guys in the angle lose it. I've kind of drifted away from watching wrestling as much as I did - maybe nothing could compare after TNA left and I had to actually watch it on a TV screen - but I still try to follow it through 411 as best I can. Hopefully a PPV in the future will return to the "Asylum", which I can guarantee has more personality (the building, not the rednecks) than the soundstage.
– Joe Rand
Some awesome, AWESOME stories there Joe… and I bet that after hearing all of those stories from last week's column you're just itchin' to get back to a live, small-venue taping like the Asylum you know and love so well! Here's hoping that TNA takes its show on the road a bit more frequently in the future (the Philly show was a great step in that direction), and that fans from across the country experience the opportunity to witness a *true* alternative to the WWE product on a firsthand basis!
No stranger to a live crowd himself, Ron M. had this to add:
Dude, I totally saw you! I was watching last weeks show and I was like, hey that looks just like Meehan (I've visited your website so I know your distinct facial hair). Then I remembered you were going and it's like, wait, it IS Meehan!
So yeah, in one of the shots where they pan over the crowd you're fairly visable. I'll read you column Friday after I've seen impact and just check the pics til then.
-RM
You mean THIS crowd shot, Ron?
Great pics on that column. Nice job.
Some thoughts to add after reading
-I think AJ Styles is rewarded for his status by giving him what he wants at the given time. For example, he left the world title scene to return to the -Division at his behest a while back. He and Daniels reportedly wanted to team up for a while now, so there they are with the tag titles no less.
-So Cal Val was totally checking you out. Wait, actually it looked more like someone to your lower right...sorry.
-Getting on the talent and everything is fine. That's what fans do especially to the heels. But getting on fellow audience members crosses you over to the Jerk-store zone. I thought you'd be above such a thing and honestly, you deserved to be smacked down for it.
Hey, I tell it like I see it.
-RM
Fair enough, Ron. To your points in order:
1) AJ is a "do what's best for the company" man, but that's no reason not to perpetually have him near the upper echelon of the card. Though I understand that there's an argument to be made about plugging him into wherever there's a hole in the ranks (first the X Division, then the tag division, etc.) to help rejuvenate a stale scene, there's also something to be said about rewarding the guy with your company's top prize. And while AJ has tasted NWA gold before, I think we'll all agree than none of those runs were particularly dominant, ya' know? (Though the Russo allegiance was certainly an "impact," if nothing else).
2) No way, man… she SO wanted Mee.
3) Normally, I'd agree with you. But if you a) wear Volcom apparel, b) rag on the proud state of New Jersey (and/or any of our fine athletic teams), or c) consort with backyard wannabe wrasslers donning baggy-ass white pleather pants, you simply deserve to be ragged on in return. Emo Volcom chubby broke rules "a" "b" and "c," and thus he warranted a healthy dose of good-natured ribbing accordingly. After all — it was during a slow point in the card, and a little mid-show mouth-off never hurt anybody, right? Besides, picking on fellow crowdsmen is a total "gimme" since there were three of us and just one of him. Well, two if you count his emo-riffic backyard fed pal beside him… but I think it goes without saying that I can pretty much take any dude who paints his fingernails black.
Yeah, that's right… I said it.
And if you're reading, Emo… kindly pull that razor off of your wrists and your head out of your diary for three seconds and (squint please)…
Last time, winners Michael Weyer and Luke Matheson correctly identified this Samuel L. Jackson quote:
"See? I told you you should've killed that bitch!" as being from the critically drubbed Triple X: State of the Union!
This time around, see if you can't name that movie as we teasssse your Ssssamuel L. Jackssssson appetite jusssst a bit more with the following quote!
"I got some 'for-your-eyes-only' shit to show you..."
Just 30 days away, bitches!!!
And With That, I'm Outta' Here
Thanks again for reading, all – and I hope you've enjoyed our return to form (as well as those few tweaks on our usual presentation to really help jazz this thing up). Here's to another great week of being a wrestling fan (don't laugh… even if The Great American Bash *IS* this Sunday, and all), and to a restful and relaxing "back nine" of the Summer of 2006 as we roll into the last weeks of July.
Till then — take it easy, keep those e-mails coming, and always stay positive!
