WRestling’s 3R’s 07.28.06: Flairus Interuptus, The Vampire Debuts, Wellness in Effect and Blue Cross #6 and Samolian Joe!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 07.28.2006
This week's personal crisis brings you two special guests~!
The 3R's of wRestling!
INTRO~!
Welcome kids to this week's edition of Wrestling's 3R's! It has actually been a worse week than last as Monday night my trusty PC died a horrible death. Power supply, dead. Mother Board, dead. Processor, dead. The silver lining is that my hard drive is safe, which makes me happy. Currently I am working off of my laptop and trying to get a new tower put together. With all of these issues, two of our staff members were nice enough to hear my plea for assistance and are writing some of the R's this week. I would like to thank Ryan Byers and Sean Garmer for helping out this week with Raw and ECW. I really appreciate it, so send them some love if you get a chance. The other good thing about this is that it gives me a little break from the R's of those shows, which is something I probably need. I hope to have the 3R's of the Great American Bash finished for Monday if everything goes well. Thanks for understanding, and enjoy the column!
Here is a quick explanation of the 3 R's. I will take the 3 main shows (4 if there is a PPV, 5 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, and WWE Smackdown. I then group my feelings on the shows in 3 categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 4th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th and even 5th R to the column, so beware of those~!
SmackDown!: By: Geoff Eubanks
Here is my partner in crime, the man that Is a hell of a cook and is known as the Whole F'n Show, he is Geoff Eubanks!
Smackdown 07.21.06:
To begin with this week, I want to congratulate "that fucking conservative" buddy of mine, Mike LaFave. Why, you axe? Because, as a result of our discourse with regard to my proposed end to the brand split (by which I still stand, thank you), Mr. LaFave will be debuting as our newest columnist! I've seen the sample column he submitted to Larry, and I think we've got a winner on our hands and quite a deserving person to be joining the 411mania family. Work it, Mikey…hahaha!
Second, I hope I'm not going to be too out-of-sorts this week. I'm still reeling in shock as a result of the stunning news that Lance Bass of *NSYNC is gay. Really, who saw that coming? Damn, what's next? Justin Timberlake is bi-bi-bi…? Funny what you hear in Los Angeles…
I know I'm supposed to pretend that I write this up the night of the show, but I'm gonna break my own kayfabe today and include some of the rather unpleasant events springing up before (and after) THE BASH, as well as discuss the PPV itself and where we go from here. Lots going on, and, as always, but more than ever, all things considered, I'd love some feedback on this stuff.
The Right:
Wellness in effect, yo – We may as well discuss this straight away. The already-suffering SD! roster was dealt quite a blow on the eve of THE BASH when Khali (scheduled for a huge gimmick blow-off against The Undertaker), Lashley (looking to recapture his United States Title from Finlay in a triple-threat also including Finlay's fellow King Booker courtesan William Regal) and Super Crazy (the #1 Contender to Gregory Helms' CWT…I guess) were all pulled from the roster, due to "high enzyme levels" in their livers, Khali's much less so then the other two, who were said to be "off the charts". However, it didn't end there. Immediately following the PPV, Matt Hardy (who ended up subbing for Super Crazy against fellow North Carolinian, Helms, in a non-title exhibition outing) and Kid Kash (having unsuccessfully challenged WWETTCs Brian Kendrick and Paul London with his fellow PITBULLS partner, Jamie Noble) were also suspended from action.
Obviously, this is BAD for what has already been referred to as "the incredibly shrinking roster", as, obviously, every title on the brand save for the WT has been affected by these suspensions, with the CWT & WWETTTs suffering the most (Kendrick & London are now the only active team on the brand…still think my proposal to end the brand split's a bad idea, LaFave…?), and the manner in which Lashley was removed from the UST at the PPV sucked all the heat out of what still could have been an amazing match, instead of playing to a pissed-off crowd chanting "boring" for half the ample time the contest was actually allowed. Surprisingly, McMahonagement displayed some wisdom on ECW's weekly program the week prior in setting up ECW HWC The Big Show to sub for Khali at THE BASH, thus it wasn't such a cut-&-paste job in still delivering Taker's big return against a monster, for both of you who were buying the PPV for that match. I suppose extra exposure for WWECW doesn't hurt that brand, either.
So the reason for the high enzyme counts? I want to stress here that in am simply going on best-guess suppositions based upon the reports I've read and discussions with IWC colleagues. If I'm speaking out-of-turn here, I'll be the first to retract any misinformation I pass on, but, this being an opinion column, I'm simply stating mine.
Matt Hardy appears to have trace elements of an old staph infection which McMahonagement wanted, obviously and wisely, to keep out of the ring and treat ASAP (Hardy will likely be on antibiotics for a month and return, hopefully to the push he was just beginning to enjoy!). Unfortunately, it appears that in the case of Super Crazy, Hepatitis C is the culprit, in which case, he may never see the inside of a WWE ring again. Khali may, too, be suffering from Hepatitis C, although he could have been taking steroids. However, because Khali's results were apparently barely just over the levels of concern, he re-took the test and, should these new results be found favorable, he could return as soon as next week (hoo-RAH).
Lashley's situation may be a little more serious, as he's likely juiced to the gills, although the Hepatitis C issue could be rearing its ugly head here, as well. Let's cross our fingers for the former, because the latter would be disastrous for WWE's brightest young star, who, until this news, was improving by leaps and bounds before our eyes each week as a result of the faith McMahonagement invested in him, giving him the best on-the-job tutors for whom he could possibly have asked in Finlay and Regal. The question now remains, should steroids be the issue with Lashley, will the fans still buy what will likely be a greatly-reduced physique on The Real Deal, or has McMahonagement McMahonaged to create another Chris Masters?
Finally, we have Kid Kash, a big favorite of mine, as loyal readers are sure to recall. I wasn't all that convinced about recycling the PITBULLS gimmick, especially NOT on ECW, but I was just so stoked to see Kash and Noble getting air time, I kinda shrugged and went along with it. Sadly and ironically, just a week after I lauded Kash for apparently learning to curtail the mouthiness that got him a one-way ticket out of TNA, he apparently started crying about the manner in which he was being (mis)used and THEN took a piss-test nose-dive and got his ass suspended. Steroids? Hepatitis C? Maui Wowi? No reports have been that forthcoming, but the fact is, Kash doesn't have a whole lot of options left and he really needs to watch himself if he doesn't want to end up in Japan or Mexico the rest of his career.
So why call this disaster Right? Because it displays a staunch commitment by McMahonagement to maintaining a safe work environment for its performers, as well as doing for them now what Eddie Guerrero and countless others before him were unable to do for themselves, namely, keeping them safe from themselves. I know there are some differences in the situations between RVD & Sabu's Middle American Misadventures (in 3-D) and Eddie's, certainly, but the Wellness policy was established to, at least, serve as a potential wake-up call to certain types of behavior, such as was simply ignored beforehand and I applaud that wholeheartedly. There are simply some of us who need to have our demons exposed in order for us to face them, or at least evaluate where we are with respect to how much control we have over them, and if, as was said after Eddie's passing, even one life can be mended, this, then is a very good thing. The fact that McMahonagement would virtually sabotage its own PPV in favor of remaining steadfast to the Wellness policy displays a strict commitment.
Yes, it could be argued, uh, where's RAW's piss-tests and, WWE doesn't care about SD!, so this doesn't matter, but, again, the point of the Wellness policy is to maintain the safety of the performers, not to find reasons to suspend talent, and so I have to raise a glass to these proceedings (okay, maybe not the best axiom…hahaha). Also, by the way, here we have another reason why the brand split is obsolete (no, I'm not letting this go, dammit!). SD! now has 12 singles wrestlers, and that includes Taschlogka, Simon Dean and the part-time Taker, four CWs, and that's including Funaki and Scotty 2 Hotty, who will likely be paired up to face Kendrick & London, because our TTCs are the only tag team remaining on the roster, Psicosis likely taking his former partner's place as Helms' #1 Contender to the CWT. Meanwhile, we'll likely have Batista continuing his thrown-together program with Mr. Kennedy following Mark Henry's unfortunate injury while Rey looks to gain retribution against Chavo Guerrero for turning on him and costing him the WT against King Booker, who will likely be forced to defend against Taker, who's basically the only main-eventer left, as Finlay is turned face to battle with Regal. Let's pray these guys can stay healthy or else Vito's gonna get a WT shot at SummerSlam. Should Raw have similar results when the Dixie cups get passed around, McMahonagement is going to have trouble filling four hours of programming a week under these conditions. A combined roster would go a long way in allaying such issues.
Whoops, make that 11 singles wrestlers. Tasclongka's out now, too. At least he won't be missed.
All hail the preview match! – I initially questioned giving this match away 48 hours before the PPV, and, for those who are privy to WWE's history in such situations, if it wasn't already plainly obvious that Rey was dropping the WT to King Booker before this bout, it would have been easy money to bilk out of your favorite die-hard Rey mark, as, whomever does the job on the go-home show sleeps with the title Sunday night.
However, considering the changes which were made to the card (which, of course, is always "subject to change!"), punctuating the WT situation was virtually a must, as it was just about the only match on the card that remained "untinkered" with. Besides, these two are a couple of very seasoned veterans who have more than one match in them against one another, especially with the variables involved in this program (Rey with the Eddie influence, as well as Chavo in his corner; Booker with Sharmell, Regal, Finlay and Jerry Mathers as The Little Bastard). Case in point, we saw a totally entertaining and totally rare "uber-Eddie" moment as Rey pointed at Sharmell, distracting Nick Patrick's attention as he, rather than hit the Broncobuster, landed a VERY low baseball slide between the legs of a slumped-in-the-corner Booker. Turn-about being fair play, though, Sharmell derailed a 619 attempt on HER man and MY king later in the bout with one of the smoothest trip-ups since, well, William Regal. Not to be outdone, though, Chavo bolted to the ring to reach in and interrupt Booker's ax kick which certainly would have finished off Rey, allowing the champion the fourth pin of his WT "reign". Sad that Rey was finally starting to be booked in a fun manner and his ride came to an end, but hopefully the impending program with Chavo will go a long way toward restoring his integrity. God, that I have to say that about someone who's just dropped the WT…pathetic.
Ah, what might have been – I was absolutely stunned at how entertaining the UST defense against Lashley by Finlay was here tonight! Lashley really worked his ass off tonight, as did Finlay, although the latter performer made it look easy. I suppose it should have been a clue that something was up with the challenger. Not that Lashley's ever phoned it in, IMO, but he appeared to be putting into practice everything he's learned over the course of this program against Finlay to create a hell of an entertaining 15:00 match (that ran commercial-free, thank you very much!!!)! Perhaps as a swan song till he can bring down those enzyme levels…? There really isn't much to say that hasn't already been beaten into the ground with respect to these two guys, especially Finlay, but it appears that 2006 is the year of the fighting Irish bastard!
Incidentally, I think it was a HUGE mistake to have brought out Lashley following his suspension at the PPV. Regal and Finlay could easily have taken the ball and run with it had it simply been announced that Lashley had taken ill or been suspended as opposed to actually bringing him out and dangling him in front of the fans who completely turned on the match as a result, which SUCKS. A BORING chant for Regal/Finlay for the UST? Asinine. McMahonagement ruined this one for themselves. I guess we can't run an injury angle without Big Drippy.
Good while it lasted – Another sweet little match involving the WWETTCs and their #1 Contenders, although I do have to agree with Dunn with regard to the fact that "this has been a depressingly pedestrian feud" and that the combined lack of mic time and the fact that this is the exact same lead-up we had to Kendrick & London taking the titles off MNM (sans Melina) has really made this skinning the edge of puRgatory for me. Again, and, as such, there's really nothing new to say here, other than I'm just happy to see all four of these guys on my TV every week.
However, an aside that really doesn't matter anymore - I was going to inquire why Kendrick wrestled both singles matches. It's probably nothing, but it struck me as odd...when Kendrick wrestled Noble last week, it stood to reason that London would do the honors against Kash, but no such doing. Made me wonder if, once THE PITBULLS finally took the belts, if this was planting seeds of dissention between the current champs so we could have a program of them facing one another, but now that they're the only team on the roster, I guess it's a moot notion.
purgatory:
Making due – I've lauded McMahonagement on numerous occasions for the manner in which they've managed to rebound from the myriad pitfalls the roster has undergone in the last eight or so months, having to virtually re-shuffle talent a couple times a week at times to make the show as decent as it has been, considering the Ridiculous amount of injuries and suspensions the brand has incurred in such time. Granted, there have been times when some band-aids have made more sense than others and all-too-often we've seen one performer's own personality sacrificed at the cost of having to be "square-pegged" into the role of the performer they're forced to replace in a program (biggest case-in-point, Kurt Angle for Batista). Unfortunately, I think, we're going to be seeing the same such situation play out as Mr. Kennedy fills in for Mark Henry. Granted, I'd much rather see Kennedy than Big Drippy, and while the optimist in me thinks it's a good thing for Kennedy to be receiving some time in the big matches at this point, there's that undeniable voice inside that fears Kennedy could suffer by being sacrificed on Drippy's pyre to Batista. I mean, three weeks ago, he was undefeated and, in the interim, has seen his trademark yanked out from underneath him by a CW for no good reason, lost his first match via a cheap roll-up to someone the company has taken great pride in undervaluing (who is now out ill and we'll likely never see the program that should have flourished from that) and now is getting bitched out to a pissed off former champion who's unable to take out his frustration on the reason he lost the belt in the first place. I'm PRAYING I'm wRong, for Kennedy's sake, because this dood has a LOT of mileage on him yet, but I'm getting that Chris Jericho "high-level talent enhancement" vibe at the moment…
The wrong:
When blow-offs blow – This was such a confused segment. First of all, there'd been no announcement of the program between the former MEXICOOLS even making it to THE BASH when we've had it teased for over a month. Of course it appears that this could have been a rushed situation, considering Super Crazy's situation and at least they tried to give *some* closure to the situation, but if that's the case, why endanger Psicosis with such a match and why reward Crazy with the victory? Second, we have Gregory Helms joining JBL and Cole Slaw at the commentator's desk apparently scouting for a #1 Contender, although nothing is said about whether or not this match would officially determine such a thing.
However, with Crazy winning, it's implied that he'd go on to challenge at THE BASH, again giving the impression that this wasn't a slap-together job on the part of McMahonagement, although in some verbal sparring with Crazy, Helms proclaims that he'd happily take on both of them, suggesting that we could have a triple-threat for the CWT (except that the similarities then between the CWT and UST matches make one think that we're running out of ideas). Beyond all of that, this match was extremely disappointing and probably did more to dissuade people from buying the PPV than encourage them to do so. Sloppy, messy and uninspired. The best thing about this segment was JBL's commentary (who continues to absolutely RULE in his new role) and the fact that, when allowed to just do his own thing, it was nice to marvel at how completely Helms has managed to re-invent himself after having had green hair for years.
BTW, who'd have thought that broken-down Psicosis would be the one of the three MEXICOOLS to survive?
The Ridiculous:
The ladies – And by that, I mean the Michelle & Kristal/Jillian & Ashley match, the Diva Search segment and Sylvan. Get used to this ladies' crap, friends, because with the roster as pathetically anemic as it is now, they're gonna be struggling to fill air time. They didn't need an excuse to take time away from real and deserving talent; now that virtually every performer remaining is going to be locked into a program by necessity, there's even more reason to turn our wrestling program into the boobie farm. I'd not have such a problem with the Diva Search (aside from the idiocy that one of these bimbos could end up making more than an actual wrestler) if the segments involved something a little more meaningful toward the end of showing how well the contestants would fit in on WWE programming. Bring out Double A and show him teaching them how to fall in a skimpy outfit (the girls…NOT Arn…!). Have Trish teach them how to carry themselves and speak well in front of an audience and allow us to judge them based upon those merits. Hell, if we're going to have the SD! divas pairing off against one another based upon bad blood over last year's contest, have them recruit the hopefuls to their respective sides and get a little story going, too. Hot chicks bouncing aimlessly is kinda…well, I can rent "The Man Show" on DVD for the chicks on the trampoline as easily as you can.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!: By: Ryan Byers
Raw 07.24.06:
The Right:
Cell Out - I was a big fan of the gimmick that they used to get Vince McMahon on to Raw without really getting Vince McMahon on Raw. People often complain about Vince and company being behind the times when it comes to hopping on to the latest pop culture bandwagon, but WWE has been right on top of the burgeoning ubiquity of cellular phones. It makes perfect sense for a 2006 version of the McMahon character to be plugged in to one of the damn things at all times, as it allows him to further invade his cronies' lives and micro-manage them down to the tiniest detail. Of course, I wouldn't want to see Vince phoning it in every night – because we'd miss out on his awesome body language and intonation – but for a quick fix for one night only, it worked perfectly. Now if only somebody with more of a clue than Jonathan Coachman was acting as his messenger . . .
Fans with ESP - One of my favorite moments of the entire Raw broadcast was when the Coach made a dramatic pause before announcing Shawn Michaels' opponent, giving a group of fans near the hard camera the perfect opportunity to yell "UUUUUUUUUUMAGA!" at the top of their lungs. Why was something seemingly so small this awesome? First of all, wrestling should be all about ritual and building to things that fans are able to expect yet will still mark out huge for upon their occurrence. A segment of the crowd anticipating Umaga and the good reaction that he got when he finally appeared is proof that WWE is applying the aforementioned formula properly to at least one character. The way the Ent's writers played it off was also surprisingly good. A lot of people were expecting Umaga to be announced, but that wasn't what the company delivered at first. Normally this sort of "swerve" is a negative, but the bookers did it in a way in which the audience was left temporarily confused but ultimately got what they were all expecting to see. They found a way to make the expected surprising, without completely
destroying the pattern that the home audience was tuning in to watch.
Sometimes even the blind squirrel finds the nut, eh?
Maybe if You'd Just Tell Me a Lie . . . Maybe Then We'd Never Say Goodbye - I'm man enough to admit that I openly wept when I heard that the Spirit Squad was going to be breaking up. They were so entertaining prior to their life-sucking feud with DX and could have kept the gimmick going for at least a solid year if they were given the opportunity. So, when it came time for the Tag Team Title match, I began to hang my head and sulk in anticipation of the end of my favorite stable since the Dangerous Alliance. I hung my head even more when the pre-match announcer banter focused more on Lillian Garcia than it did the Squad, assuming that this was a sure sign of an imminent title loss and breakup. Then, something magical happened. Something that sent a glimmer of hope in to my cold, black heart. Yes, that's right . . . the Spirit Squad WON~! This is great on many levels. First of all, it means that the unit will be together for at least one more week, providing me with the continued opportunity to revel in the Squad's wacky antics. On top of that, it means that WWE is actually booking things properly in this sort of situation, going with a prolonged feud that will generate much more interest than a throw away title change in the first meeting between the two teams. It was also good to see that Mike Mondo and Ken Doane were put in to the match as the SS representatives, as I'd like to think that it is a sign of which members WWE has faith in. We know that they've been high on Kenny for a while, but I was afraid that they would completely discard Mike Mondo because of his size. The man has been a fabulous comedy character ever since he first walked on to Raw, and hopefully this is an indication that they'll give him a similar role after he has to give up his air horn and megaphone.
HEY MICKIE! - I cannot think of another character on Raw who has been more consistently entertaining in 2006 than Micke James. Whether it's in the ring or on the mic, she has always delivered, and this past Monday was no exception. Granted, nobody will ever get a ***** classic match out of Candace Michelle, but James did about as well as anybody will. On top of that, I liked the fact that WWE booked this particular contest. One of the problems with their shows these days is that midcarders just perpetually trade wins, leaving the fans unsure of who is supposed to be above who on the WWE pecking order. This match was the antithesis of that, as Mickie, the champion, went over quickly and decisively (by 2006 standards). Unless Candace "gets her win back" next week, this is exactly the kind of match that the company needs to put on in order to elevate talent. Plus Mickie's ring gear reminded me of the Barbarian in an odd way, and I can never be reminded of the Barbarian too much.
The Wrong:
Best of 3,273 Series - Speaking of people just trading wins and never getting elevated, I am SICK AND FREAKING TIRED of watching Carlito and Shelton Benjamin wrestle each other. They had their first match against each other on June 20, 2005, and it feels like they have wrestled each other every other week since then. And you know what the worst part of it is? None of these matches . . . not a single flipping one of them . . . have been any good whatsoever. That's a year long feud of less-than-mediocre matches, ladies and gentlemen. The only thing that has changed is that the matches have started to suck in a different way. When the two men first went up against each other, the matches were bland because Carlito had absolutely zero maneuvers in his moveset and no in-ring charisma or selling ability with which to compensate. Flash forward one year, and Carlito knows how to do plenty of moves, some of which are quite eye popping. However, he doesn't know WHEN to hit the moves so that they actually make sense in the context of a wrestling match. Instead, it's just random flips and springboards with no rhyme or reason to them, and that's not the kind of person you want to put in the ring with Shelton Benjamin, who suffers from a similar problem. You'd think that somebody backstage, be it a writer or a road agent, would eventually catch on to the fact that these matches are mind numbingly bad and thus keep these two from squaring off every twenty minutes, but noooooo. The sad thing is that, with the current round of number one contender matches being split at 1-1, we're probably going to see at least one more encounter between the two before the feud finishes dying its slow, painful death.
You Got Your Caribbean in My Canadian - And another thing about Carlito . . . am I the only one who completely fails to buy that Trish is infatuated with him? Ms. Stratus looks great, but she's a great looking woman who is obviously in her thirties. Having her flirt with Carlito, who looks every bit of seventeen, is awkward and unnatural looking. It gets even worse when you consider the fact that Carlito is nowhere near being among the ten most attractive men in WWE, whereas Trish is the best looking woman. The whole affair looks painfully worked, as Ms. Stratus has to act like she's fascinated by somebody who is nowhere near being in her league.
They Laugh Alike, They Walk Alike, Sometimes They Even Talk Alike - Edge was in the main event. He's a brash, arrogant youngster with highlighted hair, a pseudo-rock star look, and a valet who either looks smoking hot or like a massive skank depending on who you ask. Johnny Nitro was in the main event. He's a brash, arrogant youngster with highlighted hair, a pseudo-rock star look, and a valet who either looks smoking hot or like a massive skank depending on who you ask. I don't know how I never realized it before, but these two men have exactly the same gimmick, and it became readily apparent when they were tag team partners. Normally when two characters in wrestling are so similar, one of two things happens. The first is that they form a regular team and reek havoc upon all of their foes. The second is that they engage in a big-time feud over who is the better of the two roughly identical men. Both provide an opportunity for some quality professional wrestling, so which of these options did WWE choose to go with? NEITHER! Sure, they teamed them up, but it was in a throw away match against the similarly haphazard team of John Cena and Ric Flair. It's just another example of the company destroying something that has the potential to be big down the road because they need to put together a main event for tonight's show right this second. Somebody should put together a list of all the times they've done that and try to estimate the amount of money that it has cost them. I would, but I don't have the necessary twenty years of free time.
The Ridiculous:
Flairus Interuptus - Ric Flair is one of the greatest promo men of all time. If you do not believe this, you're one of four things: 1.) An idiot, 2.) Trying to get a rise out of somebody, 3.) Kevin Dunn, 4.) Brian Gerwitz. I'm starting to believe that there is some overlap between categories one, three, and four. For two weeks now, Ric Flair has had the opportunity to come out to the ring and cut a fantastic promo on Mick Foley, responding in kind to what has been some quality mic work from the Micker. Instead, the Nature Boy has been allowed to talk for all of two minutes before getting interrupted by some young punk with less than one tenth of the talent that Natich possesses. (This week it was Edge, last week it was Johnny Nitro.) This company is taking a feud that could produce some of the greatest interviews of the last ten years and eviscerating it simply because one or two men backstage weren't NWA fans growing up and don't understand why anybody could possibly be entertained by Ric Flair. You'd think that Triple H would come to his hero's rescue and use some of that infamous backstage stroke to change this, but sadly that has yet to materialize. I hope Flair realizes that some of us still actually appreciate him, everything he has done for this business, and everything that he can still do for it.
Grishalicious - You're Vince McMahon. You own WWE and, barring any mistakes, can control what happens on Raw down to the tiniest detail. You don't like the set? Buy a brand new one. There's a tiny thread hanging off of Torrie Wilson's bathing suit? You tell your wardrobe lady to clip it. Your granddaughter has just been born, and you're incredibly proud. Wouldn't you get somebody better than TODD GRISHAM to announce it to the world?
The Feud Killer - I've already read columnists on a few other websites complaining because Hulk Hogan and Randy Orton got in to a physical altercation before their Summerslam match. Personally, that's not what bothers me. What bothers me is that they had a physical altercation before their Summerslam match, and Hogan won it. I know that Orton is supposed to be the heel and that it's generally acceptable for heels to run away from their opponents. However, there are exceptions to every rule, and one of those exceptions occurs when your heel in his twenties and in peak physical condition while your face is in his fifties and has clearly seen better days. If you book an old man punking out a young man, followed by the young man tucking his tail in between his legs and running, why would anybody want to watch the ensuing pay per view match between the two? Hogan already won a fight, and it's clear from Orton's actions that he doesn't believe that he can beat the Hulkster. If he doesn't believe he can win, why should I? Nobody's left with anything to prove, and nobody's got an issue left to resolve. If anything, Orton should be feuding with Jerry Lawler now, because he caused him to be humiliated on national TV.
ECW on Sci-Fi!: By: Sean Garmer
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 07.25.06:
ECW on SCI-FI: 07. 25. 06:
The Right:
Hooray for actual ECW storylines! - Even though what they did on this show was somewhat confusing which I will explain somewhere below, at least there is some promise of exclusive ECW storylines. Knox started off the show explaining to Kelly why she wouldn't be dancing anymore. Look, Kelly is very attractive but if she can't dance, don't have her wasting television time with it. Anyway, Knox then has a match with Sandman to get some revenge on him for caning his girlfriend. Then during the match we almost have a repeat of last week until Test comes out of nowhere and takes out Sandman. Later we see Test discussing taking control of ECW with Knox (backstage) and then Dreamer attacks Test for the stuff that happened last week too. They may be doing something with Balls Mahoney as well. Since they took the time to have Balls cut some promos and have a match this week, you would think that means he is going to be used in a storyline soon. Finally, Big Show got an actual ECW wrestler to challenge him for the title. Sabu interfered in the match against Kane this week, to let Heyman know he was serious about wanting a piece of Big Show. So very slowly we are getting some ECW feuds which the show needs if they want to exist longer then those contracted 13 weeks.
Fertig debuts - Finally, after a month or so of waiting we get to see "The Vampire" in the ring. He won decisively and showed that he's another new character that can add something to the roster. However, if creative does not put him into a storyline, it will basically mean nothing. At various house shows Fertig has been wrestling C.M. Punk and the matches have been good too. Next week C.M. Punk is debuting, so maybe they will have these two feud on television. I have to say that I liked the way Fertig looked and having the Tarot card reader with him helps get the character over a little better. It seems like creative is really trying with him but we will have to hope, they don't screw him up.
Paul Heyman continues his evil reign - This week Heyman again proves he is the evil ruler of ECW. Sabu tells Heyman he wants the Big Show for the title. Heyman acknowledges that Sabu would be capable of facing the Big Show, especially, in extreme rules. However, he tells Sabu that Big Show is already dealing with Kane tonight and that Sabu was in too high of an emotional state to even be wrestling, and he would never allow Sabu to wrestle Big Show anyway. So he gives Sabu the night off. Later, Big Show tells Heyman that he should let him face Sabu because if he beat Flair and Taker, he can surely beat Sabu. Heyman who is worried about the fact that Sabu could take the title away from Show, tells him to focus on the match he has tonight. This does two things it puts over Sabu as a credible opponent for the Big Show and, it also proves to us (in storyline) that Heyman is using the Big Show as a pawn to make sure he can continue to rule ECW. This will set up for more things to come down the line between Sabu and Paul Heyman.
puRgatoRy:
Test is doing what? - Ok this just struck me as confusing and maybe next week we will get an explanation. Test comes in and takes out the Sandman for seemingly no reason. Then we see Knox and Test walking through the arena backstage as Test tells Knox that together they will take over ECW. Huh? So last week Test beats down Tommy Dreamer at the request of Paul Heyman and then this week he's beating up someone else. I don't understand where this is going. Maybe he's supposed to be slowly destroying every aspect of the old ECW, but for now, this makes no sense except for WWE is trying to tie two storylines into one, which might be a good thing because it protects Knox's bad wrestling ability. I just wish we would get some explanation as to why.
The wrong:
Why is Kane here? - Again we have a non-ECW wrestler going for the ECW title. This time, we don't even have an explanation as to possibly why Kane could be here. For all we know, Kane could be coming back to ECW because WWE has not shown any vignettes stating that Kane would be back on RAW. This only proves to the fans watching, that WWE doesn't have enough faith in ECW that it can stand on its own. The fact that all three of the wrestlers got very close to winning the damn title is proof of that. I don't have a problem with some WWE involvement but, they don't need to be in the main event going for the ECW title. They could have started the Sabu storyline earlier and they would probably still be in the same situation today. Hopefully with the involvement of Sabu this week and Kurt Angle returning next week, that is enough for WWE to stop importing random superstars into ECW to face the Big Show. I understand that WWE was trying to prove to everyone that Big Show is a fighting champion. However, that could have been done with ECW guys.
More killing of old ECW - See this is why Paul doesn't work that well as a heel in power, because it really goes against what he's all about. Instead of going around encouraging his guys and wanting them all to do well, he picks favorites and destroys all the old ECW wrestlers. Now it seems that he is using all of the new wrestlers to take out all the old wrestlers because the "New ECW" cannot have any remnants of the old ECW. First we have Test taking out Dreamer last week and Sandman this week. Then after Heyman has a nice talk with Sabu, he sees Little Guido lacing up his boots. He accuses Guido of saying something and then has the riot police attack him. Then he feeds Little Guido to Fertig. So slowly whether people see it or not, the old ECW is dying every episode. I wouldn't be surprised if in a couple weeks we see Paul Heyman with a "new ECW corporation" trying to put a stop to all the old ECW wrestlers. Yeah Sandman and Dreamer cannot wrestle that well anymore, but they shouldn't be used as jobber fodder for guys like Test and Knox that can't do shit.
The Ridiculous:
Extreme Rules crap - I agree with Larry that the removal of extreme rules for every match is better in the long run because you don't have guys doing hardcore spots every week. I think they should change this up a bit though. This week, we had Balls Mahoney vs. Justin Credible, two old ECW wrestlers. During the match, the fans starting chanting for Balls to get his trademark chair. However, when he does, he can't use it because of the removal of the extreme rules. So he gets frustrated and hits Credible and the ref with the chair getting himself disqualified. This is what the appeal of ECW was that at any moment you could get a weapon and smack someone with it. I think that at least if you have two old ECW wrestlers facing each other in a match that they should put in the extreme rules because they would be accustomed to it. If you have one of the new wrestlers in a match then you can take away the extreme rules because they are used to the old traditional stuff. Seriously, I think this could help boost the fans interest in the show. The fans always seem so dead during the show except during the main event because guess what? There are extreme rules. The fans want to see something different than the plain old wrestling they would see on SmackDown. So I think in certain situations like I described above they should put in the extreme rules. So that Balls can use his chair and Sandman can use the Cane. That was their gimmicks and the way things are now, they are left with nothing which is stupid.
iMpact!:
iMpact 07.20.06:
The Right:
Video Package/Backstage Greatness! - They had a lot of great video packages last night that I not only enjoyed, but built to things very well. Runt and Abyss had a nice brawl to kick off the show this week, which led to a later promo by Runt challenging Abyss for a match, which will happen at the PPV. Next Monty Brown gave a really good promo on Joe and Rhino, which would come into play later. Jerry Lynn had a short appearance trying to hype Sabin for his PPV match vs. Nash for a short at the X Title, a motivational speech in fact. There was a really good video package of JJ explaining himself and his actions, and contemplating the fact that if he loses to Sting, he may in fact have to leave. Then we had the newest Paparazzi Productions video, featuring Nash, Shelley, Devine, Samolian Joe and Blue Cross #6. The usual hilarity from these guys, and a lot of fun. They ran a great LAX video, hyping the tag title match and their agenda. Finally there was another well put together Bobby Roode video package, hyping him as the next huge star, huge free agent and so forth. Next week he begins his search for the person that can take him to the top, which should be interesting.
Building Joe vs. Rhino vs. Monty - This match had a lot of hype heading into it, and part of it I hated because I was not happy that they would give this away on free TV. I was all planned to place this in puRgatoRy, but the end result worked out rather well so I decided against it. As I mentioned Monty gave a good promo early in the show, which played into his coming out to watch the match. Joe and Rhino had a good brawl, and after a ref bump Monty got involved. Joe hit a great looking elbow suicida onto him, and we then had our three way brawl. In the end, we saw Rhino out Joe and Monty through a table and down the entrance tube for a great close to the show. This is a great build and should deliver a great PPV match, as reports of their three ways they have done on UWF shows have been great.
The wRong:
The Wrestling - Since I know I complain about Raw a lot in this department, it is only fair to do so here. This week there was just nothing that great in the wrestling department. The opening X-Division four way match was a fine little contest, it was fun while it lasted but when it was over there was nothing that would make you remember it when the show was over. Fun little sprint, but nothing of note. Then there was the 6-way match with James Gang and Young vs. AMW and A1. This was a vehicle to get Young over more, which it did, but that was it. They teased Young still being afraid, which is fine, but what made no sense was A1 being hesitant to attack Young. When they broke up at the PPV, he blew him off like the rest of the team, there should be no remaining friendship there, just animosity. It wasn't even 3-minutes, and was as bland as bland can be. And them their was the main event. While a good brawl and great closing angle, this did not live up to the billing of "PPV Quality Match," which it was rumored to be. After such a hot show last week, this one fell short and the in ring product was just not good; bordering on bad.
The Ridiculous:
Nothing of Note
READER RANT TIME!
Keith would like to share some thoughts -
Hail King Booker... Long Live the King!
So finally the pitiful reign of Rey has come to an end. I'm happy, I've never cared for Rey as champ. I even cringed when he won the RR; and that was because we'd never see him win on his own but because of Eddie. So for me this is one mistake removed.
But honestly this has been a very good week for wrestling... well starting since ECW last week. I have to give props to the big E for following through on it's wellness plan. Some really good things have come out of it. They noticed Lashley's and Khali's liver problem, Detected the staph infection in Matt Hardy, even Kash is being suspended. But not only that you see actually creative writing on SD! and they saved a PPV that has sucked since it's revival.
ECW was good last night. Test and Knox, is this a tag division possibly forming? An ECW star challenging for the ECW strap... Why this is unheard of.
So apparently in order to have a decent raw Vince, Shane, and HHH must not be in the building. Go figure...
Oh, and the that cancelled Rick's Promo should be FIRED!!! You don't cancel Ric Flair's promo!
On a side note... Stacy's gone, she was my favorite diva. but hopefully Mickey can fill that void.
Finally, Jim would like to share his LIVE thoughts from ECW and Smackdown -
First of all, I know that A) Wrestling is not as popular as it was during the Monday Night Wars, and B) Smackdown is widely considered the B show, but I was surprised it wasn't a sellout, I remember when any televised wrestling show was the hottest ticket in town. Good crowd, but about half of the upper deck had the black tarp thingy over it, the half that the camera had its 'back' to. A very rough ball park guess would be around 10,000 give or take, but I really don't know for sure.
1st dark match was a pretty standard squash, the only notable thing was that nearly the whole arena began the 'E C Dub' chant, which was pretty cool, but especially surprising because during ECW itself the crowd only got together on a chant once, and that was for Balls, so....that is odd.
2nd dark match which was Noble vs. Masked Guy (who the posting says is Kidman) was very entertaining, and actually got the crowd into it. The second the pitbulls music/video came on, the hardcore ECW contingent began to boo mercilessly.
When the Smackdown show started, there were some legitimate gasps when the crowd saw that Booker beat Rey, and how. I guess people don't check the internet :-)
Also, maybe this is common and I just don't notice it, but the smoke cloud from the pyro drifted into the main ring area and sat there for a good 20 minutes, from what I could tell on the titan trons, it should be very visible during the show.
Big pops for both Kennedy and Batista, Kennedy could have been the 'crowd favorite' if he was up against someone other than Batista (except for Rey), he's getting popular, probably about 50/50 cheer to boo ratio. The count out caused some confusion, since we couldn't hear the ref, of course if you know anything about wrestling and a match ends with people outside, you should know what just happened.
Being at the show in person, you notice some things you would never notice on TV, for instance, Vito's opening video is about 10 seconds of actual footage that is continuously looped, and its not even a good loop. Also the guy who rings the bell was some pudgy dude with glasses and a backwards baseball cap, looked like a roadie or tech or something, didn't that job used to actually mean something?
Some cheers for Sylvan, don't forget that Canada is only 1/10th a mile south of Detroit (yes, south). Decent crowd reaction to the match, more for Tatanka, after Sylvan wins he took Tatanka's headdress and threw it out of the ring to the floor, which drew a LOT of heat.
Michelle McCool better learn to take bumps better, she landed awkwardly on her leg(s) twice during the match, allowing her knee to buckle and falling on her shin, I see a leg injury in her future.
Bookers celebration entrance was hilariously over the top, complete with toy soldier looking guards and a carriage. I love this gimmick, its just so old school, you get tired of everyone being a 'bad-ass', its nice to have some goofy stuff that is taken seriously. I had noticed a bunch of balloons in nets above the ring, but since it was dark up there, they looked red and white, so I thought maybe they were planning ahead for the Wings home opener or something, but then they all fall to the ground when Bookers celebration kicks off, and as it turns out they are red and gold. Half of the people start popping them (which you could hear over the music) and the other half start impromptu volleyball matches. Booker draws a lot of cheers from the crowd, which was surprising. When Rey comes out he gets the 2nd biggest pop of the night, when he pulls the 619 he gets the biggest. By the way, I saw that Michael Jackson sign before anything even started, and it was very hilarious, I didn't notice that it got confiscated though.
I had noticed a few Finlay signs, and also heard a kid tell his mom that they had to hurry back (they were on there way to the concourse) because Finlay's match was next. When Regal comes out, the place is dead silent, I didn't even notice him until he got into the ring because I was waiting for people to boo, but they didn't, textbook dead heat. Finlay comes out to just a little bit of cheers, which surprised me given the observation I was just talking about. People got behind him during the match, a few scattered 'Lets go Finlay' chants, and then one loud one, and a good pop when he won, also good pop for the leprechaun (why does he always have to look dirty?). On a side note, I quit watching wrestling regularly for a few years, and when I come back Bradshaw is champion, and Finlay is not a jobber, two things that blew my mind, what the hell happened there?
Diva stuff met with a lot of indifference, but not as much outright booing as I've seen them get elsewhere. By the way, I don't think the Miz messed up, I think the camera man focused on the wrong girl, which caused Miz to improvise, and then they did it over.
I check the time, and they've got about 25 minutes before 10pm. The main event starts, entrances get a good crowd reaction, the match was indeed pretty good, and all the big spots got good crowd reaction, man people really love Rey. Chavo gets a lot of heat.
Ok match is over and its a mad dash to change the ring and set to ECW in about 12 minutes. They do the teaser thing for like 15 seconds. A lot of the smackdown refs were helping change the ring setup, I really think they ran longer than they thought. Mike Knox was walking into the ring and they were still working on it.
I'd say about 85-90% of the people stayed for ECW, quite a few seemed like they were only there to watch ECW.
Decent pop for the Sandman, who was 2 sections to my right :-(, the beer got some good reactions. Some heat for Test and Knox, not a ton though.
Good pop for Tommy, which is good to see, he's one of my all time favorites (plus he was a guest on one of the local sports radio stations the other day, and he was really, really cool).
Big pops for Sabu whenever he was shown or mentioned, a lot of people were disappointed that he didn't get anything but a 10 second run-in in his hometown. Some guy did a really good hand drawn sign of him, just thought I should point that out :-)
Vampire dude was not announced, so we didn't catch his name either. In fact I was anticipating learning his name, but as I check the TIVO, they didn't say it at all, so maybe they haven't picked one yet? His entrance music was pretty cool, and his tarot card reading girlfriend did a much cooler ropes thingy during the entrance, she grabbed them and flipped over them, opening them so Vampire dude could get through, I guess she practices ring rope tactics or something. Match was pretty good, that crazy ropes assisted stunner (or botched driver?) move got a good reaction from the crowd, probably because nobody was expecting it. I heard a few people exclaim "RAZORS EDGE!" when he gave the crucifix powerbomb.
Balls really got the crowd going, a lot of people were waiting for him, and during the commercial blackout, for a split second they began his video, so everyone knew he was coming. There were just a handful of people chanting boring for about 5 seconds, I've seen people comment on that, believe me the crowd was pretty into this match. There also were a few TNA chants from that same area, so maybe they were just haters. Good match, but one thing about it, those were probably the two WORST chair shots I've ever seen, both Justin and the ref put both arms in front of their heads, what the hell? We all know Justin can take a chair shot, so what was the deal there? After the match, a lot of 'BALLS BALLS' chants, which as I check the TIVO, got drowned out by Joey and Taz talking, but you can see Balls chanting with the crowd. Then the abrupt cut to Heyman and Show, and the ring goes black, which was too bad cause it was nice to see Balls get some recognition.
Big Show and Kane both got good reaction, Kane especially, the match also got good reaction. People were very excited to see the tables and weapons, and when Show went through the tables there was a loud pop. Sabu's inevitable run-in was met with a loud pop as well.
People began leaving when Khali made his way to the ring, got in, and he and Show stared down Kane, and then Takers music kicked in. I actually took videos of this with my digital camera, the intro took forever, but I put the beginning of the intro, and the end of the match in a file and uploaded it to my schools server, feel free to download it here http://www-personal.engin.umd.umich.edu/~jnardecc/Stuff.zip just don't tell the WWE :-). I totally disagree with the PWinsider report that Taker got the biggest pop, since at least 40% of the people who stayed for ECW had left before he came out, a few people ran back to their seats, but not enough to give Taker a bigger pop than when Rey hit the 619.
Random Notes: Big pops anytime the Raw superstars were on the titantron when they played promos. Huge pop for Kurt Angles return next week. Not all the balloons fell out of the nets, and periodically you'd see one fall from the ceiling, as I check the TIVO (again) I see one falls right in front of the camera before the Guido vs. Vampire Dude match began. Scattered ECW themed chants throughout the show, (ECDub, Holy Shit, etc.) but nothing sustained and in unison except for the Balls chants. And lastly, ECW is popular with the fans, at least it was here. When it started the people behind me got on a cell phone and was telling someone that SD just became ECW, and its 'awesome', and this was just after Knox and Test were in the ring. Also I heard a bunch of people of all ages talking about how sweet ECW is (and was) before and after the show.
I think that's it, I hope this makes sense, love the site and your guys columns, keep up the good work, thanks for everything.
