Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People 08.10.06: Terrapins!
Posted by Ryan Byers on 08.10.2006
This week it's indy wrestling from Maryland, featuring guest appearances by Brian Christopher, Terry Funk, and Joey Mercury.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. As always, I am Ryan Byers, and I've got myself a busy couple of weeks on this website if you haven't noticed. I've been compiling and hosting the site's Roundtable Reviews of Summerslam, which are counting down to this year's version of the pay per view. As of this writing, 1988, 1989, and 1990 should all be available for viewing, and subsequent years will be posed at a rate of one per day until we get through every edition of the pay per view. Also, within the next couple of days, the movie zone should be seeing my second ever DVD review, which will be quite the departure from the first. To top it all off, I'll be starting in a brand new position in the wrestling zone tomorrow night. I don't want to spoil the surprise, but tune in at around 12:30 AM EST and you should be able to see what I'm talking about.
But, in the middle of it all, I'm still right here with the Cheap Wrestling. This week, we're going to take a look at another fabulous online broadcast from an independent wrestling promotion, which is the first time that I've busted out that gimmick in a couple of months. (If you don't count the bonus review that I threw in to a recent news report fill-in.) The subject this time around is Maryland Championship Wrestling's RAGE TV. MCW is a fairly long-running independent promotion, having its roots in the late 1990's. In addition to a solid roster of regulars, they've also played host to a decent number of outside stars, as this week's television episode shows us.
Title: RAGE TV (6/3/06) Released By: Maryland Championship Wrestling Release Year: 2006 Run Time: 51 minutes Found At:MarylandWrestling.com Price: FREE
Former ECW manager "Judge" Jeff Jones opens the show, thanking the crowd for coming to the last live taping, which apparently featured Steve Wilkos, head of security for The Jerry Springer Show. Well, anything to get a rub, I guess. With that out of the way, we head to the matches.
Match Numero Uno: The Holy Rollers (Earl the Pearl & Ramblin' Rich) vs. Joey Matthews & Christian York (c) for the MCW Tag Team Championship
As just about everybody knows, Joey Matthews would go on to become Joey Mercury in MNM before being sent to rehab. His partner York would make it with him to ECW and for a brief WWF developmental run, but he faded in to obscurity well before he could make it in to the limelight. The match starts off as a four-way brawl, and the champions take the early advantage with a double dropkick. We head to the outside, where York misses a baseball slide but recovers and hits a headscissors on his opponent. Matthews follows it up with a plancha on to the challengers, and now everybody's back in the ring. York & Matthews hit a double back elbow on a Roller, but Rich gets a cheap shot behind the referee's back and takes over on Matthews. They dissect Joey with basic offense, but he fires back with a reverse neckbreaker and gets the hot tag after about two minutes. York dominates with a springboard clothesline and a springboard back elbow, but the Rollers manage to break up the champs' "Full Effect" finisher. York puts a stop to the Rollers' finishers as well, and Rich winds up crtoched on the top rope. That looks to set up a top rope rana from Matthews, but it's blocked. Now the challengers really do hit their finisher, which is pretty nice, featuring one man doing a side Russian leg sweep while the other does a spinning heel kick from the top rope. I'm surprised that nobody bigger has stolen that one yet. Matthews manages to kick out, though, and the Full Effect connects seconds later to put away the bad guys.
Match Thoughts: Eh. In the opening and the finish, all of these guys hits some very spectacular moves, particularly when it comes to the arsenal of York & Matthews and the finisher of the Holy Rollers. However, the middle of the match was absolutely atrocious. First of all, it was a heat sequence that lasted all of two minutes, which I can never stand because it allows absolutely no sympathy to be built up for the face-in-peril. On top of that, in the finish to the match, you saw these men withstanding some pretty heavy hits, whereas in the middle of the match a few kicks, punches, and chokeholds were all that it took to keep Matthews subdued and away from his corner. A pattern like means that there's absolutely no internal consistency in the match, which I'm not really fond of. 3/4* Fortunately, Matthews would get much better once he turned heel.
Match Numero Dos: "Soda Pop" Ronnie Zukko w/ Candy vs. Genesis
Zukko is doing a 1950's greaser gimmick, which explains the nickname. He gets shoved down by Genesis in the early going, but he comes back with a jumping forearm and a second rope clothesline for two. He goes for an avalanche after that but misses, getting caught in a backdrop suplex by Genesis, who follows up with a powerslam. A Genesis kneelift gets turned in to a Zukko schoolboy, though, and that gets another two count. Genesis tries to get back on track with another knee, but he has his Irish whip reversed in to a flatliner by Soda Pop. A short-arm clothesline is next for the Grease reject, and a nice sit-out gordbuster gets two, as does a superkick. Ronnie's next move is walking right in to a spinebuster, but Genesis decides to go after the valet instead. She kicks him low in retaliation. It's not a DQ, but it is the setup for a Tomakaze from Zukko. That nets him the victory.
Match Thoughts: Squash city here. I can't complain too much, though I thought Zukko did too many big moves within the last few seconds of the match. Any of his last three shots could have realistically ended the match, and doing all of them without capping it off seemed unnecessary. 1/4*
Match Numero Tres: Jimmy Cicero & Brian Christopher vs. Chad Bowman & Dino Divine w/ Tara
There's a video package recapping the feud leading up to this, as Chad & Dino were Cicero's running buddies in a heel stable, but they kicked him out. Christopher is being brought in as the "dream partner" who will even the odds and help right all that is wrong in the world. The heel announcer notes that he can't believe that people are standing on their feet to greet Christopher, and I'm going to have to agree with him there. Cicero starts it with Divine and hits a couple of Japanese armdrags, which is impressive given the relatively large size of the two men. Christopher makes his presence felt after that, and he just stalls. When he finally makes contact with Dino, he barely gets over for a leapfrog and slams the larger man. Dancing follows that up, and Divine is clothesline out of the ring. That leads to more standing around, but the Grandmaster goes back on the offensive with a thumb to the eye. Divine is not amused, so he fires back with some rights and brings in Bowman. Chad walks in to a kick, though, which sets up a missle dropkick from Jerry's kid. A scoop slam and a fistdrop follow, after which Lawler headbutts his man below the belt. A tag to Cicero follows, and he lifts his opponent for a back body drop and the Falcon Arrow for a nearfall. Jimmy heads to the top rope, but Tara crotches him, allowing Chad to attempt a senton atomico. It misses, leading to Christopher and Divine being tagged in. Sexay is a house-a-fire, getting in an enzuguiri on Dino for two and the ten punches in the corner on Chad. All four men are in the ring briefly, but Dino and Christopher wind up brawling on the floor. With that going on, Tara trips of Cicero as he tries to suplex Bowman. Chad falls on top, and he gets the three count as his valet holds the leg.
Match Thoughts: I knocked Christopher for stalling a couple of times in the match, but, really, he was getting a better reaction than anybody in the match and showing these indy guys how wrestling should be done – a less is more approach that keeps the audience in the palm of your hand without having to kill yourself. Of course, he had a head start in that area thanks to his WWE TV exposure, but it was clear that he knew how to interact with the fans while the other three men were completely clueless. The match was interesting to watch for that dynamic, but otherwise it was just a generic tag team affair. 1/2*
Match Numero Cuatro: Corporal Punishment & Terry Funk vs. Romeo Valentino & Tom Brandi
This is a "flashback match," which took place for MCW in 1998. We're joined in progress, as Funk hits a Rude Awakening on Valentino and drops a knee for two. Funk tosses him to the corner and goes to the outside to get in a couple of shots on Brandi, who is dumb enough to stick his nose in to things. Brandi responds by choking the Funker with some foreign object that I can't make out due to low video resolution. Things get very hard to follow at this point, as the four men in the match are all doing things around the ring and the camera is far too shaky to keep up with any of it. When things return to normal, it's the Italians double teaming Funk in the ring, hitting a double clothesline. Romeo stays in the ring but gets hit with a shoulderblock, which oddly sets up the hot tag. The Corporal runs in and clotheslines everybody before trying for a double noggin knocker. That move is blocked for one of the few times that I can remember, and we clip ahead to another hot tag. We see Funk's jabs land on Romeo, but Valentino answers with a bodyslam, which sets up a pump handle slam. The announcers think that should be the finish, but Punishment saves. That prompts Valentino to bring a chair in to the ring, and Romeo falls to the mat when the referee tries to grab it. That allows Funk to get in the spinning toe hold, but Valentino reverses in to a small package. He doesn't reverse a DDT on to the chair, and that gives Terry the victory.
Match Thoughts: This was clipped up pretty heavily, so I can't go as in-depth as I normally would. However, I will say that Funk looked just about as good here as he ever did in 1998, moving pretty easily in the ring and entertaining me as always with his punch-drunk selling. The other guys were just there, particularly Punishment and Brandi, who were virtually edited out of the match. Valentino, meanwhile, looked like he was competent yet not spectacular. Overall, this wasn't actively bad, but there are better things to watch with your time.
Match Numero Cinco: Romeo Valentino vs. Axl Rotten in a Loser Leaves Town Match
Given that this show is from June, I'm assuming that the stipulation is to set up Rotten signing his WWE contract. Valentino ambushes his opponent before Rotten can even get in to the ring, but Axl responds with a bottle shot and chops him against the railing. Axl throws his man back in to the ring but gets cut off before he can connect with any offense. Valentino hits a vertical suplex for two, and there's some blatant choking on the ropes. He follows that up by dropping a leg across the back of Axl's rope-strewn neck, but he creates an opening for Rotten by missing a clothesline. Axl hits a couple of elbows and grabs his chair but misses. Valentino kicks the weapon back in to his opponent's face, allowing him to steal a win and banish the former Bad Breed member from MCW.
Match Thoughts: And this was too short to really develop in to anything of note. That's not too surprising giving the physical condition of Rotten these days. Actually, the shortened time of the match might have actually wound up benefitting everybody involved, as beating Axl in four minutes made Romeo look much more impressive than beating him in twelve minutes would have. Plus it didn't give the crowd the opportunity to turn on the bout, which may well have happened if something that had the potential to be this bad went on for longer than it needed to. This was fine for what it was, and my only real complaint is that they didn't go for the finish that I would have booked – Axl losing and being kicked out of the company after getting DQ'ed for using the chair. 1/2*
Final Thoughts
Number of Matches: 5 Highest Star Rating: 3/4* Lowest Star Rating: 1/4* Average Star Rating (ratable matches only): 1/2*
There's not much to say about this show except for how horribly unspectacular it was. Nothing stuck out as being awful, so if you're living in the Maryland area and have the opportunity to connect with this promotion and see their shows live, it would be a fine way to keep up with the talent and the happenings on any cards that you missed. However, I'm somebody who went in with no real emotional investment in anybody on the card, and the promotion didn't do a heck of a lot in order to create one. I just saw a bunch of men doing a bunch of moves that I can see five thousand other people doing in five hundred other indy promotions. I'd take a pass on this show until they do something a bit more innovative.
