The Shimmy 8.14.06: The McMahon Report Card - Vince McMahon
Posted by Andy Clark on 08.14.2006
The Report Card Series returns in time for SummerSlam and features one Vincent Kennedy McMahon!
Welcome back, kiddies, to the Wonderful World of Shimmy. Am I a genius or what? Last week I write about how Goldberg should be used in TNA and this week he signs a 90 day holding contract with Spike TV, apparently to begin talks with TNA soon. Thank you, thank you. Before we get started this week, I'd like to remind everybody to send in their questions for The Great Positivity Debate III! Just because I'm not in it this go around doesn't mean that you shouldn't care, so send it what you want to ask our illustrious columnists.
Now, as for the rest of this week's column, the Report Card series is back, daddio! This time, in honor of the big DX vs. McMahons tag team match at SummerSlam this Sunday, wanted to take a look at the McMahons' PPV performances. This week we'll look at the "Genetic Jackhammer" himself, Mr. Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Sit back, relax, and kiss your boss' ass, it's game time, biatches.
1999 Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble 1999)
This was in 1999, a notoriously bad wrestling year in terms of workrate. This was also at the head of the McMahon-Austin war, as both men entered the match as #1 and #2. Through some sneaky tactics (including spending most of the match out of the ring), Vince managed to make it into the final two. Surely this would be where McMahon would receive his comeuppance, right? Not quite. Thanks to The Rock, Austin was distracted enough for Vince to eliminate him and win. Yes, Vince McMahon won the 1999 Royal Rumble. Scary.
My Grade: C+
No. 1 Contender's, Steel Cage Match: Vince McMahon vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin (St. Valentine's Day Massacre)
And this was the culmination of the Austin-McMahon feud (which didn't stop them from continuing it for another five months). The majority of the "match" took place before the bell even rung, with Austin beating the hell out of McMahon outside of the ring. I believe this was the last use of the old school Steel Cage too, so there is some historical significance there. Vince took a nasty bump from the top of the cage through the announce table, so no one can say he didn't hurt for his business. This match also saw the WWE debut of Big Show (at the time only called Paul Wight), who inadvertently cost Vince the match.
My Grade: B-
CEO of WWE, Handicap Ladder Match: Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon (King of the Ring 1999)
You know, when I think of Ladder Matches I always forget about this one. I wonder why? There really wasn't much to this match and the only lasting effect it has is on those wrestling fans that still want to know who raised the briefcase (for the record I never thought it was that big of a whodunit, any number of Vince's Corporate Ministry could have done it, but whatever).
My Grade: C-
No Holds Barred Match: Vince McMahon vs. Triple H (Armageddon 1999)
We've come a long way in seven years, huh? This was actually a pretty fun brawl, with Vince playing the emotional babyface, fighting for his daughter's freedom. The swerve was typical WWE (perhaps the last vestige of Vince Russo?), but it did allow the creation of the McMahon-Helmsley Fact-gime so all is well.
I was not able to see this match, but from what I understand it wasn't all that bad. Of the two McMahons I believe Shane was the one that took the abuse, and Vince just took the pinfall. A lot of purists didn't like the fact that the WWE Title changed hands in a tag team match, but it had to be better than some of the stuff WCW was pulling around the same time.
My Grade: N/A, judging around a B
Street Fight: Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon; Guest Referee: Mick Foley (WrestleMania X-Seven)
This match was overbooked, but in a really entertaining way. You had Mick Foley as the ref that had it out for Vince (remember all those documents Mick signed after he was fired as Commissioner?), you had Trish Stratus turning on Vince and then fight with Stephanie, and you had a not-quite-so-comatose Linda McMahon biding her time to get her revenge. Plus you had all of the recently purchased WCW B-listers sitting up in the Skybox watching the whole thing. An awesome WrestleMania match that fit in well with this epic event.
My Grade: A
Street Fight: Vince McMahon vs. Ric Flair (Royal Rumble 2002)
The only decent thing this feud gave us was the birth of the WWE History video package, which I was in attendance live for the unveiling of. Next.
My Grade: C+
20 Years in the Making, Street Fight: Vince McMahon vs. Hulk Hogan (WrestleMania XIX)
This could have been the main event for this WrestleMania considering the hype they had behind it. A lot of the IWC bags on this match, but of all the feuds Vince has booked himself into over the past few years, this one really did come off with a "dream match" atmosphere. Both men went out there and bled buckets and told a great story in the ring. Vince's legdrop off the ladder through the announce table was a cool spot, and the blood soaked smile of a billionaire with a lead pipe is a great visual. Hell, it even had the unexpected run-in of Roddy Piper. This match was so much better than it had any right to be, and I loved it.
My Grade: A
Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen (Vengeance 2003)
Oh. My. God. Simply put, one of the worst PPV matches EVER.
My Grade: F
WWE CEO vs. SmackDown GM, Father vs. Daughter, "I Quit" Match: Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon (No Mercy 2003)
This match sucked, no doubt about it. Still, there was some perverse pleasure in watching Stephanie McMahon get beaten down and subsequently off my TV.
My Grade: D-
Buried Alive Match: Vince McMahon vs. Undertaker (Survivor Series 2003)
Vince rebounded from his two previous PPV performances with this pretty solid effort. For the most part it was Undertaker beating up on Vince until Kane arrived to make the save, but at his age that's really all one should hope for. Enhance or not, Vince at least has the right look to be in the ring competing, and that normally helps the storytelling a bit.
My Grade: B
No Holds Barred Match: Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels (WrestleMania 22)
And now we make it to this year's WrestleMania. Vince was squashed even more thoroughly in this match then he was against Undertaker and the match was even better. This was a very entertaining piece of sports-entertainment storytelling and Vince took one hell of a beating. He didn't try to dominate the match, he just wanted to give the fans what they wanted to see.
My Grade: A
No DQ, Handicap Match: Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels (Backlash 2006)
Damn you, God. Damn you straight to hell! After Shawn Michaels' tag team partner cowardly abandoned him in the middle of the ring, HBK was decimated by the followers of McMahonism. While Shawn Michaels did put up a valiant effort, it was no match for a two man team (or a seven man if you include the [Holy] Spirit Squad). Praise be the name McMahon!
My Grade: B+
There you have it! As you can see, nine times out of ten Vinnie Mac brings his A-game to PPVs. Will he do it again at SummerSlam? I guess we'll find out on Sunday. Be sure to check back next week as The Shimmy continues its McMahon grading as we look at Shane McMahon!
A Reason For Bullet Points
Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair in a "I Quit" Match? Are you kidding me?! Hell fucking yes! I honestly don't remember the last time I was as excited for a match as I am for this. Plus, with WWE having the good sense to pull Taker-Khali from the card this match should get the time it deserves. Thank you, WWE, thank you.
Umaga continues to be undefeated, and that's pretty cool. I'm glad to see Umaga getting over with the fans and I have a feeling that once John Cena reclaims the WWE Title, Umaga will be the first person in his way.
OK, at one point I was pulling for JT and Milena in the Diva Search, but after listening to them talk this week I couldn't care less. Hopefully they can keep things short and to the point this week so I'm not suffering through some hideous segment live.
I've got a brilliant idea for how they can make this Diva Search more interesting next year. Instead of having them participate in mind numbingly stupid challenges every week have them beat the hell out of each other. Next year, instead of doing the Diva Search they should have the first annual Bra-wl For All tournament. It would run just the same as the old Brawl For All, but this time be full of clueless bimbos. Who wouldn't want to see them beat each other down? Even if they can't fight it would be fun to watch. It's gotta be better than what we've got now, right?
Edge-Carlito could be a pretty cool feud if they're ever given the chance to go all out. I think Carlito is the future of Raw at this point and if they play their cards right could be main eventing WrestleMania as early as next year.
No CM Punk this week? You teasing bastard you.
Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle vs. Sabu in a Triple Threat Ladder Match for the ECW World Title #1 Contendership this Tuesday? Rock on, dude. I still think we'll get a no contest setting up a Fatal Four Way at SummerSlam, but I'll enjoy it until it all comes crashing down.
This just in: LAX's entrance is pretty friggin' sweet.
Tickets for TNA's "Capital Punishment" didn't end up going on sale on Saturday as planned. And they aren't going to go on sale today like the Siegel Center box office told me on Friday. The new onsale date for is tomorrow at 10 am. I was a lot more upset at this earlier, but I'm over that now. I just hope I can get my ringside Ultimate Experience tickets for the show.
I would like to send out my well wishes to Pat Patterson who underwent emergency heart surgery this week. From all accounts Patterson is doing well, but heart surgeries are serious business and it's scary to see a legend undergo such an intense procedure.
Andy Rant Time: I'd like to send out a big "fuck you" to all those that felt the need to make a joke about Pat Patterson's sexuality when discussing his heart condition. Honestly, the man was in serious medical condition and underwent a major surgery, is it really necessary to make jokes at the man's expense. Actually, screw that, I'm not catering to anybody here, it wasn't called for PERIOD. Jokes like that would be juvenile and inappropriate no matter what the circumstances, but in this particular situation they are just classless. I had always hoped that those in the IWC would be smarter and more accepting than the casual wrestling fanbase, but it's more and more apparent that they are just as intolerant and ignorant as the target demographic for most of Vince McMahon's homophobically driven angles. Everyone would have been offended someone had written a racial slur about Kenta Kobashi when it was discovered that he had a tumor and this is no different. Have some class, you worthless pieces of shit, and show a little respect.
Andy! Andy! At Last You Have Some Feedback!
I had a lot of feedback last week, so let's get to it!
BILLGOLDBERG97 wants to know:
whats the real news on Goldberg and TNA?
Well, as far as I know Goldberg has just signed a 90 day holding contract with Spike TV. That means that he cannot work for any other TV company for 90 days. I'm not sure exactly why he would do something like that, but rumors indicate that he may be beginning negotiations with TNA.
Gohan6482 writes:
As much as I'm shocked I'm gonna say this, that's a really awesome way to bring Goldberg in and build him month by month. I definitely think Samoa Joe should be the only one to kick out of the Jackhammer. Hell, have him really only use that on jobbers if he even fights them. The Jackhammer was always over so they should make the fans really really want to see it, make 'em salivate at the chance. Kinda like what they did for the Canadian Destroyer. That way he hits it on Joe in his last match and everyone knows it's over, and Joe gets to kick out and soon after chokes him out. But yeah that's a great plan, and if TNA had any brains they'd do something similar.
I like the idea of building up the Jackhammer. If Goldberg were to come to TNA he could have a new finisher, maybe something he picked up in Japan. Then, when fighting Joe, he could bust out the Jackhammer, and Mike Tenay can pull out the "he hasn't used that move in TNA yet." Cool idea.
Shaun Houston seems to like great thinking:
I almost never write into stuff and I virtually NEVER put any value in fantasy booking and yet, having read your Goldberg plan, I felt compelled to tell you that I think you have got it spot on there with how to get the most out of Goldberg for TNA. I've been a fan of TNA since the weekly PPV era (thank YOU Bittorrent!) and I'd love to see them grow and provide real competition to Wwe as it would benefit the industry as a whole.
Since the potential for Goldberg in TNA came up a while back (& as you said yourself bearing in mind the unexpectedly good use of Steiner) I have been trying to think of a plausible and worthwhile way to get Goldberg in to help TNA build its fanbase. As I was reading through your month by month breakdown I was actually more and more interested to see how you would work the storyline to a satisfying conclusion that everyone involved could conceivably agree to!
I have to say, as a layout of what they should do, honestly I'd keep it exactly as it is.
So basically what i'm saying is... somehow you need to get this plan to
TNA & they need to make it happen because, on paper at least, it would be an incredible run.
Thanks for spending the time on it and making me excited at the potential!
Cheers,
Shaun (Southampton, England)
Thanks for the comments, Shaun! I've always enjoyed doing fantasy bookings, but unlike a lot of people, I try very hard to make them realistic. A lot of fantasy bookings end up either bringing in too much new talent, having a bazillion heel-face turns, or recreating something from the past. I just wanted a basic layout that I could book based on what TNA looks like now. Thanks a lot, govna!
Drew Hild responds to my rant on the ECW "fan":
I would just like to start by saying that, while I'm a fairly new reader, i allways enjoy your column, and I have never been a fan of responding to forum post, as i tend to lose interest after being flamed by ignort morons. That being said, I feel that ECW fans were well within their rights to boo the main event last week out of the building. In fact, that is what Paul E. has been begging the ECW faithful to do, voice their opinions.
Most people knew that a Big Show/Batista match would not be well
recieved by the hostile, rabid, and down right disrespectful NYC/ECW fans, but I wouldn't be surprised if Vinny Mac thought it was a great idea. The WWE is using the ECW brand name to expand their product to fill an existing fanbase, and at the same time, they're showing either great naiveity, or a great lack of respect by giving that fanbase more of the same. By chanting a negative response to an obviously WWE friendly match is the only way to communicate to Vince MacMahon that we (ECW fans) don't appriciate the direction they're taking the brand. I will never condone the throwing of refuse at the workers in any way, for any reason, and I admit that some fans got out of hand, but all of the chants were, in my honest opinion, justified.
As to the fans not giving the match a chance, I gave the match a chance. I'm a fan of the Big Show's new direction, and much to my amazement, most of the cross promotional matches were quite entertaining. As I watched the match unfold, I realized it sucked, thuroughly. Batista hit nothing but soup bones and clotheslines, and anyone who can make Show look like ane offensive juggernaut is clearly in his spot for his look and size. Not to mention that the 500 pounder sold more than the chalenger. Batista is not as bad as the ECW fans on the forums would have you believe, but he is clearly over rated.
Personally, i feel that the ECW brand has started to come into it's own, and these WWE style main events will be a thing of the past soon enough. They're on the right track with building fueds in the ring, featuring more wrestling matches, and less poorly written over acted backstage bullshit. Regaurdless as to whether the brand sinks or floats, the deciding factor is the fans. ECW, old or new, should be about giving the fans what they want, and in this case, Batista/Show, to borrow from Xpac, just didn't cut the mustard.
At this point I'm pretty tired of arguing against the self-centered, small minded tastes of the ECW fans, so I won't get into that here. I do commend you for the respectful manner in which you responded to me, I do appreciate that. The only thing I would like to comment on is the fact that people are all of a sudden coming out of the woodwork talking about how Batista only has his spot due to his size and look. Seriously, up until his ECW appearance Batista has never gotten much crap from the IWC. Batista has always been liked a the calm, cool, well dressed bad ass, so claiming that he's only in his spot because of his look is simply ludicrous. By the way, is it just me or are more and more stupid people joining the 411 forums?
Greg Waite shares his thoughts:
I just got done reading your column and it made sense. Seeing Goldberg in TNA is a risky move (he may even bring a list in TNA of the guys he doesn't want to wrestle like he did in WWE), but it would be entertaining to see him there.
Would I change any of those bookings? No but I would add Monty Brown or Rhino in there. Abyss vs. Monty vs. Rhino vs. Goldberg in a Fatal Four way elimination match. Winner faces the next number one contender: Raven Rules match with Raven.
Sting and Goldberg as tag champs? Maybe but I want to see Goldberg be with someone else. Goldberg and Monty could work or Goldberg and Bobby Roode.
Samoa Joe as NWA champ? God yes. I'm waiting on that to happen. Goldberg vs Joe would be a killer but Joe wins both matches therefore making Goldberg's streak snapped and he goes out on a losing streak and never winning the NWA title.
I agree, seeing Goldberg face Rhino and/or Monty Brown would be pretty sweet. I was toying with the idea of having Goldberg face them, but since I wanted Goldberg to remain undefeated I didn't want him to have to take out two of TNA's biggest stars.
Angelo Velotta shares his booking:
-Have Joe finally go over at Bound For Glory and give him the title strap
-Have AMW continue to tease breaking up only to drop Gail Kim and finally go over Styles/Daniels causing them to break up which leads to the Naturals feuding with AMW over the titles and......
-Styles feud with Christian in heavyweight division, and have Daniels join Abyss , Father James, and Cassidy Riley in the New Church
-Have Rhino feud with Raven in an epic three or so month feud to finally propel Rhino even further and end Raven's career with what he does best, huge bloody feuds
-Have Senshi drop the X Title to Petey Williams who then engages in a feud with former Team Canada partner Eric Young as they fight over the title
-Have the Paparazzi turn on Nash and have them stalk Eric Young when he wins X Title telling him they are making videos to present to Cornette to get him fired for poor workrate,etc
-Build up Bobby Roode by first giving him a few squashes, then some midcard fodder, then a couple feuds before him finally beating .......................................Samoa Joe and becoming the longest reigning TNA champ ever.
That's some interesting stuff, especially the Eric Young-Alex Shelley feud. Pure gold, I say! I'd love to see
AJ Styles and Christian Cage feud, as I think Cage should have entered TNA as a heel and fought AJ for the X-Division Title.
Jobez "Kid Cairo" Ferguson sheds some praise on yours truly:
With that solid sheet of booking, I think you should apply for a job in Orlando. Seriously, the way you laid out the plan (assuming Goldberg would actually be motivated to have good matches) would be absolutely money in the bank for TNA. I'm one of the few TNA fans who'd actually like to see a big name like Goldberg or Brock brought in. If they booked it the way you laid it out, it would be a success.
Take care
Thanks man, I appreciate that. I think Goldberg could be a solid edition to TNA and only help them, especially if Spike TV helped foot the bill for his contract. Not only could Goldberg help out in TNA, he could also probably host a show on Spike, and there is always the possibility of him doing some ultimate fighting, and the opportunity would be there with Spike's relationship with UFC. With the news that Brock Lesnar is training for MMA, could you imagine Goldberg vs. Lesnar, the match we wanted to see at WrestleMania, taking place inside the Octagon?
Joe Fino has some ideas of his own: I agree with most of everything you said about Goldberg going to TNA. He would make them money and give them exposure and put guys over.
Genesis, i would put Goldberg in a singles match with Jarrett like you said.
At turning point however, i would futher the Sting and Jarrett feud more with a Sting and Jarret final encounter match with a loser leaves TNA Stipulation. Sting wins and Jarret must leave TNA (for now). At the same PPV, you will have a Falls Count Anywhere Goldberg VS Big Pappa Pump match. No reason to waste 2 PPV's on a match we have seen before.
At Final Resolution, have Sting VS Samoa Joe for the NWA World
Heavyweight Championship and have Goldberg VS Monty Brown (football player vs football player feud). Those are two big money matches and Monty Brown can look over here if booked correctly. Sting would leave TNA after this PPV and a loss.
At Against All Odds have Goldberg face Christian Cage. Steiner here will be with Cage on this as they join forces all month to try to take down Goldberg. At the match, which is DQ, Steiner is the special enforcer (not ref) after he cheated to get the DQ victory in a match with AJ Styles (who befriends Goldberg at this point). Goldberg still wins after Steiner is knocked out after repeatidly trying to stop Goldberg from winning.
Goldberg here will be forced into a match with Rhyno (who is a face still) at Destinion X, resulting in a good back and fourth match with Goldberg getting the win. This will not be the main event though, allowing Christian and Steiner to feud with Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles in a tag match and Samoe Joe to defend his belt against maybe Ron Killings or Monty Brown.
Steiner, Christian, Monty Brown and Bobby Roode will face Goldberg, AJ
Styles, Christopher Daniels and Ron Killings in Lethal Lockdown with
Samoe Joe and Abyss facing off in the cage in the NWA title main event.
Goldberg's team wins and Steiner is out of TNA after this.
Here, Goldberg would face Abyss after James Mitchell feels he can end a winning streak, even if its not Samoa Joe's.
The main card for Sacrifice will be something like this...
Samoa Joe VS Christian Cage VS Ron Killings VS Rhyno
Goldberg VS Abyss - Falls Count Anywhere
AJ Styles VS Bobby Roode
Christopher Daniels VS Monty Brown
In the main event, push the fact Samoa Joe does not have to be pinned to lose the match, thus making people think Joe might lose that way, but he still wins by pinning Cage.
Slammiversary and the King Of The Mountain you have on the money. Joe
VS Christian Cage VS Goldberg VS Ron Killings VS Rhyno VS Abyss would be good here with Goldberg and Joe almost fighting, but it never quite gets there. Joe wins.
Victory Road Samoa Joe will face Rhyno for the belt, Goldberg will be in a 4 way road to victory match with Christian Cage, Ron Killings and Bobby Roode where Christian Cage wins thanks to the help of Bobby Roode by pinning Killings.
Hard Justice, Samoe Joe will face Christian Cage while Goldberg faces
Bobby Roode after Bobby gets a countout victory over him in a match on IMPACT which had the stipulation if Goldberg won, he would be entered into the match at Hard Justice. Ofcourse, Goldberg would get the win over bobby Roode, keeping him strong, but still have no title shot.
Samoa Joe will face Bobby Roode at No Surrender with Joe making Roode knock himself out and they have to stop the match and award Joe the victory. Goldberg wins the Gauntlet match and gets a shot at Joe.
Then, the rest of the booking is the same as yours.
Thats how i would book it.
Glad to see I'm not the only person with a lot of time on my hands! You're booking sounds pretty fun, but I think you may have too many multiman matches. Also, I'd prefer to keep Goldberg fully undefeated heading into his match with Joe, not just "never been pinned." Thanks for sharing, bro!
Todd Vote thinks I may have forgotten something:
I like your Goldberg idea, but it requires one thing to make it work. Jarrett would have to be out of the main event for nearly a whole year. Never going to happen. You know he will be the first one to pin Joe. I hate to see it happen, but can you honestly say that Jarrett doesn't believe that him and Joe is the biggest match in TNA right now? I have no problem with Goldberg, but if he was brought in, the same thing that is happening with Sting will happen to him. He will be stuck in a year long feud with Jeff Jarrett, talking about how TNA management is out to get him. Why didn't the fans in Philly chant same old shit at TNA. Hasn't this Austin/McMahon…um…Jarrett/TNA management thing been going on since the inception of the company 6 years ago?
"You know, between (potentially) Hogan-Orton and the Great American Bash WWE sure has been getting a lot of use out of ‘card subject to change.'"
What happened at the Bash? I missed it.
First of all, I think Jarrett has a bad reputation in the IWC. Jarrett is the top heel in that company and can normally bring it in the ring, so I don't mind him being on TV. Secondly, I booked Goldberg for a year, but not Samoa Joe. I have Joe holding the title for over one year, that's twelve months worth of title defenses, I'm sure Jarrett can factor into that.
As for what happened at the Bash, I was referring to the fact that Mark Henry was pulled and replaced with Mr. Kennedy, Bobby Lashley was taken out of the US Title Match, Super Crazy was replaced with Matt Hardy, and the Great Khali was replaced with Big Show.
Hey man, if ya didn't know, I'm one of the new guys on the site, Getting Over...you should check it, great column (thank Foley for that shameless plug).
I just wanted to let ya know that I've been a fan of the Shimmy. You stay positive for the most part, I love the report card series, and yes I did vote for you in the great positivity debate. All that being said, I have a comment about your latest article...it sucked!!!
No, kidding, I actually really enjoyed it. Good idea for a year long run for Goldberg in TNA and that's coming from a guy who really doesn't care about TNA or Goldberg one way or that other. I like that you got a couple people over along the way to Joe. Giving a semi rub to guys like Daniels, Christian and to a bigger extent Abyss is smart. And then you did a great job in building to either the biggest or second biggest (Top Face in company history beating most hated guy in company history for his first ever world title might be a bigger money match) feud in TNA history.
My only complaint is that you're dangerously close to gimmick infringement on my column!!! I think you should get my permission before any more of these year long story lines ; ) jk
Also, agreed w/ every word you said about the ECW crowd, I thought that was bullshit, give the match 30 seconds before you start shitting on it for crying out loud. But I don't know if it's the ECW fans. I had a lot of ECW fans writing in after I mentioned my thoughts on the new breed saying they like the direction it is in, or at the very least were willing to give it time to develop. I think it COULD be NYers. I'm from NY, admittedly upstate which makes me automatically hate all downstaters, but NYers are assholes w/ no patients and are straight up arrogant and rude! I second your remark for them to get over them selves!!!
OK, so that was all pretty much a long winded way of saying, good work! Keep it up!
Glad to here from you, Mike! Sorry for the gimmick infringement. I guess I won't be too surprised when I see you doing "Final Grades" for wrestlers, right? That ECW crowd may have been New Yorkers, but I have a feeling the reaction would have been the same in any other "smart" location. I'm still impressed Batista didn't kill somebody.
The Shimmy Likes It Raw!
I'll be in the house LIVE for Raw tonight, emanating from the brand new John Paul Jones Arena in Charlottesville, Virginia. With SummerSlam being this Sunday what will Raw bring us? Here's what is announced so far.
Randy Orton will call out Hulk Hogan and challenge him to a match. I doubt we'll see a match and I'm still waiting for Orton to start singing "Be a Man." I've already seen Brock Lesnar kill Hulk Hogan in person, could Randy Orton do it too?
One of the "useless bimbos that will end up with a job anyways will be eliminated." Whoopee.
Here's what I would like to see added to the card:
John Cena vs. Charlie Haas: Cena already took out Haas' partner.
Edge vs. Carlito: Read my bullet point on this one.
More on the mic greatness between Mick Foley and Ric Flair. I'll be wearing my Mick Foley shirt to the show and I want to support my boy.
Will they be added? Maybe. But even if they're not I'm gonna have a fun time. After all, it's Raw, baby!
That does it for this week's column. Next week I'll be back with the Shane McMahon Report Card and give my thoughts on tonight's live Raw. Don't forget to send in your questions for the Great Positivity Debate III. Until next week, don't die. Clark…out.
