WRestling’s 3R’s 09.01.06: TLC and HIAC Return, Heyman’s Henchmen, North Carolinians Battle, the Top 5’s~! and More!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 09.01.2006
Here I am…rock me like a hurricane tropical storm!
The 3R's of wRestling!
Introducción~!
Welcome back kids for another edition of Wrestling's 3R's! As always I am Larry Csonka, along with me is my tag team partner "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks. What a week, the whole Kurt Angle deal hit, people are denying it and emailing me all angry because they don't want to deal with the truth. Also there is a group of people trying to tell me that the "release" was amicable and agreed to by both sides. Damn people, I don't know how clearer I could have made it Tuesday, but we'll talk more about it next Tuesday. Anyway, we have the whole slate of shows as always, Smackdown from last week, Raw, ECW and TNA to cover this week. Let's hope the tropical storm holds off, because I have shit to do. HEAR THAT ERNESTO? BACK THE FUCK OFF, MY PUBLIC NEEDS THEIR R'S~!
Here is a quick explanation of the 3 R's. I will take the 4 main shows (5 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. I then group my feelings on the shows in 3 categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th and even 5th R to the column, so beware of those~!
SmackDown!: By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks
Smackdown 08.25.06:
Two things before we tear into this week's installment of SmackedDown!:
1. What's that, you say? I don't know the name of the show I am analyzing? Au contraire, mes amis. The performers of SD! were, as Cook so appropriately put it in this week's news column, made to be the company's wellness program guinea pigs in that their piss tests were conducted first and, accordingly, it was SD!'s talent that felt the brunt of the consequences, thus setting the bar to the "important" brands, displaying that, yes, the wellness policy is for real and there would be ramifications against those who chose not to follow the guidelines set forth by the company. Please don't misread my intentions, I am 100% IN FAVOR of the wellness policy, just not the manner in which it was executed. It appears to me, and I hope I'm wRong, and if I am, will happily remove the foot from my mouth, that the brand upon which Vince McMahon appears (Raw) and the new brand with which Vince is having fun playing (to say nothing of utilizing to expand onto a third channel in Sci-Fi, ECW) were allowed an extra warning and more than ample time to clean up than were the talent on SD!, therefore implicating SD!'s talent as being the drug-addled misfits who require steroids and narcotics to appear competitive and to cope, to say nothing of the manner in which the brand was crippled following the suspensions levied as a result of the wellness infractions. We simply couldn't have that occur on "Vince's" brand, the WWE flagship show, could we (never mind the manner in which Vince and Shane versus dX is burying everyone else on that show in the first place)? And ECW simply can't afford any more bad press following the blunder of Rob Van Dam and Sabu, to say nothing of the tragedy of Kurt Angle's release; besides, had a tantamount percentage of suspensions been doled out in ECW, the main event would have been Sabu versus Paul Heyman out of necessity. This is simply, to me, still another example of the manner in which SD! is shat upon by Vince McMahon.
2) I mentioned the awful fate of My Olympic Hero, Kurt Angle. This absolutely breaks my heart, although, sadly, not unexpectedly. For the doubters, Larry has been Right this entire time with respect to Angle's health (or lack thereof). I've been watching some old SD!, circa. directly following the brand split/pre-SD! six-era and the difference between Angle then and now is little short of astonishing and alarming. I was relating to Larry prior to the release, the obvious contrast, and he said I hit the nail on the head when, in my search for the proper adjective, settled upon "healthy" to describe how he appeared to me just a few years ago. Again, for the doubters, select any of Angle's matches from this summer and then pop in ROYAL RUMBLE 2000 when Tazz made his debut in MSG and tell me honestly you don't see Angle aging more than just six years. It is just this sort of issue for which WWE instituted the wellness policy, i.e., to catch such problem situations and to offer help to those who have ceased to be able to help themselves (and, if you want to be cynical about it, hold itself unaccountable should, God forbid, another Brian Pillman or Eddie Guerrero occur). It is my sincerest, most deeply felt hope that Angle acknowledges his dependency, gets help and beats this issue and is able to come back as a manager or color commentator at some point. His talent is too vast and all encompassing for this to be the final note in such a brilliant (although all-too brief) career. Angle, you are as loved a performer, an athlete as any to have ever laced boots. Please, man, respect yourself as much I respect you and do the right thing for yourself, your family and your fans. Speaking selfishly, I can't take another Eddie Guerrero, least of all in your regard.
The Right:
A hard day's knight – The official knighting of William Regal and Finlay was long overdue, IMO, but better late then never, I say, especially when King Booker is involved. Honestly, how many characters have evolved so completely as has Booker T in the King persona? Virtually every week, there's something new having been added: the expression of benign benevolence, the wristbands, the hair spilling out from over the crown, the Madonna-like fake English accent. In like fashion, Sharmell is a true beauty queen; how many of these dimwitted divas could transition into such a role as the Queen of the World with as many little things, appropriate gestures and perfect inflections as she adds to this character? Not to be outdone, though, were the courtesans, Regal in particular (his quivering lip and shudder as the sword touched his head were absolutely priceless!), although I'd have liked to have seen Booker produce a Swiss army knife with which to knight The Little Bastard, but that's just me.
The commentary between JBL and Michael Cole was, likewise, exceptional during this segment as the pair appears to be on the fast track to becoming the undisputed BEST team in the business. The highlight?
Cole: I'd like to be a knight…!
JBL: I'll make you my queen.
Two things spring to mind from this exchange:
1)I am now forced to acknowledge all of JBL's negative comments toward Vito in a similar light to the closeted jock who pounds on the fey guy in gym class to allay his fear of his own homosexuality;
2) Round-trip plane tickets for JBL & Cole to China: $2,000
Hotel accommodations: $175 a night
Digital video camera to record the "goings-on": $500
Making sure the footage NEVER gets released as "Another Night in China": Priceless
The Road from Wellness – When the match involving Paul London and KC James was announced, I had to roll my eyes because it appeared, yet again, that we were on still another retread of the same old WWETTT program. However…SWERVE! The contest ended in a no-contest as a result of the return of THE PITBULLS! Maybe I'm a bit thick, but I had no idea Los Bulls were returning to TV tonight (I adamantly refuse to read spoilers) and their presence can most certainly go a LONG way in spicing up this program. Who knows, maybe we can even drop the WWETTTs onto them as THE TEACHER'S PETS (or, as I like to call them, the TPs) gain some Lashley-like on-the-job experience while working with the two other, more experienced teams? Suddenly, the tag scene seems brighter…hell, who am I kidding? Suddenly, we HAVE a tag scene.
When North Carolinians attack! – Now that Matt Hardy has changed his ring wear, can I PLEASE have his old cargo camos?!
The meeting between Hardy and Kennedy was a solid, rip-ass, old school WRESTLING match that was actually given significant time (more than the main event, even!) to actually MEAN something, both in quality (i.e., the talent involved) and creativity (i.e., Gregory Helms' involvement). God help me, I'm yet again setting myself up for what will likely be disappointment with regard to the hope that there might be a meaningful future for Matt Hardy and Gregory Helms, but I am anxious to see where this leads. Here's what I'd like to see – Following derision, outcome notwithstanding between Hardy and Helms at the PPV, Hardy distracts Helms as he defends the CWT against Jimmy Wayne Yang, allowing Yang to score a cheap roll-up victory, Yang becoming the new CWC. Rather than seek to retrieve his belt, Helms goes after Hardy in perfect "pride-damaged heel" fashion. Meanwhile, Hardy has a score to settle with Kennedy and friction continues to build between Regal and Finlay, which contributes to King Booker dropping the WT to Batista (a sad inevitability). Suddenly, there's a midcard and people to feud over the UST!
As it stands, however, the cynic in me sees the Hardy/Helms pairing merely as PPV fodder to pander to the North Carolinian home crowd and as a means to (mercifully) keep Helms involved, despite the fact that there simply is no such thing as a CruiserWeight division anymore. It also kinda bugs that Kennedy was allowed to keep his own heat rolling by reminding us that he has victories over the two most recent former WCs, while there was no mention made of the fact that it was Hardy who ended Kennedy's undefeated streak (probably because that situation was so Ridiculously poorly orchestrated and ended up meaning absolutely NOTHING to either man). In closing, should I be concerned over Hardy's lactating third nipple? Wasn't that the reason for his suspension in the first place…?
NOW we're getting someplace! – So it appears as if we're going to be seeing Vito versus MVP in what will likely be a short, introductory (for MVP) program. MVP was, again, handled exceptionally, characteristically well, strutting to the front row of the arena with a babe on each arm, blinged to the nines. The fact that he showed up late furthers his image that it is he who is the show and the event only really starts when he arrives. It also stands to reason that a "legitimate" athlete such he is professing to be should roll in the aisle when confronted with the sight of Vito, despite the sound ass-whipping he laid down on the ever-shriveling Sylvan. Vito, to his credit, took note of MVP's howling and challenged him to enter the ring and back up his laughter, but MVP, in a unique portrayal of the cowardly heel, pompously declined after feigning considering the option, claiming not to have a contract yet and so felt no obligation to prove himself unless being paid to do so. Very clever! Of course, the success of this program will depend greatly upon exactly what MVP brings to the ring. Sadly, it appears that Vito, for all his willingness to humiliate himself with this asinine gimmick, is going to end up sacrificing his talents to get over someone else. Let's hope MVP can bring it.
Disappointed…truly, truly, truly – It appears as if one of my favorite new SD! traditions, that being making fun of how awful Kristal's hair looks, is becoming a thing of the past, as she looked smoking hot from head to toe tonight. Oh, well. On the bright side, we had another great match from Kristal and Jillian tonight. Not much to be said that hasn't been already. This was just a pretty damn solid women's match and I always am entertained by these two squaring off.
puRgatory :
Wait-and-see – There's a lot of seeds being sown on SD! at the moment. MVP has been discussed already, and definitely fits into this category, as does The Miz' in-ring debut next week, and the manner in which Diva Search winner Layla (who already has going for her the fact that she is WWE's most unique diva and stands out against the otherwise rather cookie-cutter pool of divas currently employed by the company) and the aforementioned Jimmy Wayne Yang, who has more than proven himself in my eyes during his previous tenure on SD! as Akio. Here's to hoping this stint serves him better than his last one and that he's allowed to really show off his considerable talent without being overshadowed and consumed by this questionable (to say the least) gimmick. It could be fun, it could land him as a staunch resident of The Ridiculous.
The wRong :
YAWN – The handicap match between the teams of The King's Court (Booker, Finlay & Regal) and Jack'd R Us (Batista & Lashley) was a perfunctory, paint-by-numbers, pseudo-drawn-out-to-a-predictable-finish affair which leads us squarely to the dropping of the two top singles' titles on the brand to the faces involved, despite the fact that the current champions far surpass the chasing faces in talent (not to imply that I dislike such faces, merely that I enjoy the heels more infinitely). I can only hope that there's much more in store for Booker and Finlay once they drop their belts.
And I'd be remiss if I didn't ask WTF were Regal, Finlay and Kennedy doing on RAW?! If Raw is SUCH the "A" show, WHY, then, must McMahonagement draw from lowly little bastard stepchild SD! for talent?! My only response is that WWE *has* no "A" show any longer and stand by my stance that the brand split weakens the overall effectiveness of the product as a whole.
The Ridiculous:
From the signs of babes – "Vicki, stop this madness". That little kid's sign screamed the thoughts of everyone with a brain in their head and a heart in their chest. I was on the phone with Larrold when Vicki turned on Rey, swiping him across the arm with the chair and I gasped audibly, not out of shock that she would do such a thing, but that McMahonagement was willing to take this horrible program to a new low. Now, from McMahonagement's POV, I understand why they turned Vicki against Rey; they had to earn back some empathy for the former WC when the PPV crowd booed his use of Eddie's old moves (of course, what they should have taken from the reaction is that the fans were, in effect, saying, "All right, ENOUGH already!"), because Vince is bound and determined not to rest until Vicki exhumes Eddie's corpse and does a minuet waltz down the aisle to the ring. Really, Vicki, stop this madness.
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!:
Raw 08.28.06:
The Right:
Setting up TLC – I, along with many others knew that it was coming to this. The important thing is how they were going to get there. So Shane O Mac is out there doing his thing, threatening vengeance on DX and Edge, with Lita's fantastic breasts and the ugly belt arrive to the ring. Edge was obviously upset because Cena tossed him into the water last Monday, and we all know Edge's bath night is Saturday. He then demanded Shane fire Cena, which of course brought out Cena. He told Edge that if he got fired now, that people would always remember Cena got the best of him. He then pulled out the magic contract from Smackdown and said if Edge gave him one more title shot, and he lost he would go to Smackdown. Edge was cool with this, only if he could pick the location and stipulation of the match. Cena agreed, but since he disrespected Shane, he had to compete right now against Chris Wellness Masters. And before anyone gets on my nuts about this, Masters still looks great. They need to drop the Masterpiece gimmick, but he looks better actually. I never said he didn't but he obviously is missing about 15lbs of muscle mass. Cena and Masters had a fine little match and I feel the leaner look for Masters will help his in ring ability. Edge attacks before Cena could get the win, and beat down Cena with a chair, ladder and then a table. He then told Cena that at Unforgiven in Toronto, the match would be TLC. This worked out great and was a hot angle, but I will have more on it later in the column.
Some Continuity - And that was KANE was not here this week. All too often WWE tries to shoot a big injury angle, but blow it by having the injured person appear the next week, relatively unscathed. Last week Umaga destroyed Kane, "rupturing" his throat apparently and making him cough up blood. I just figured that this would carry on as normal, but WWE did some nice work here by NOT having Kane on the show. Good stuff, as this is usually the little kind of shit I love to complain about.
Mickie James' Ass – It's Fantastic.
purgatory:
The Nitro/Melina Press Conference – I had some high hopes for this segment when I heard about it. It is one of those things that can help make or break a star. Nitro has the look, the attitude, the athletic ability, but people question if he can go full tilt in the ring and if he can really talk. So here was the chance. He and Melina hit the ring with their normal Hollywood entrance, but this week Nitro wears more of a suit ensemble instead of his "Roadkill" jacket. Nitro opened things up, and for his opening segment it was tremendous. The kid was making himself with this promo. He was brass, cocky and you wanted to hate him for all the right reasons. He reminded us that Foley and all of us are jealous because he is the next big thing, looks great and nails Melina every night. This was all awesome. Melina then took her turn, and it started well. She said Foley was a disgusting, middle-aged creep that fell for her, but she would never be with someone like him. Everything was going to plan…
But in true WWE fashion they take a segment that should have been 5-minutes and made it 10, and that is where the problem comes in. The crowd, which was once hot and the heel heat was off the charts started to chant boring. Nitro and Melina began repeating themselves way too much and it became awkward as they lost steam. I hated to see this because as I said above, the first 5-minutes were excellent. It is just a shame that it took a turn for the worst. All is not lost obviously, but the extra length really hurt the segment in my opinion. We'll have to see what happens next week, see what kind of reaction they get. If they come out next week and get great heel heat then all of my worrying was for not, but if they come out next week and the crowd goes mild…then I was right. You know things are going downhill when JR says, "Come on folks, this is only a 2-hour show here."
The wRong:
Wasting a stipulation… – On Raw this week they really blew a good use of a stipulation when they revealed that Trish was going to retire after the next PPV. They attempted to make it a "creative story" by having them say Lita leaked it to WWE.com and the mobile service. It's like this company hates money! Why would you do that, especially in such a lame way. Carlito has "WWE Mobile Service?" And people call us geeks. Lita and Trish have heat and have for a long time. They very well could have had them continually attacking each other until they do the old, "this company isn't big enough for both of us" and they have the retirement match. It is simple booking 101. Create a feud that people can get involved in and make them want to pay for the fight. At most only a small percentage knew about this already, and they would be buying the show any way. Now you ruined it for a lot of people. Some may have bought the PPV with this as an added decoration on the cake so to speak, but they blew it on Monday.
The IC Title and Jeff Hardy, just background…again – So did you catch that the E really tried to condition the audience to make it seem like the IC Title was important. In all honesty, I feel that didn't work well. You're telling me that it was a good idea showing Bret Hart vs. Bulldog before Hardy vs. Orton? You're going to show clips of arguably a ***** match before a match between Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy, that we already knew would have a shit finish and maybe get 10-minutes? Right. And there is another thing, could they have telegraphed the Carlito run in anymore with the segment earlier in the show? Horrible. And then there was the match. Some people are showing a lot of love for the match, but I felt that it was just there. Orton looked totally uninspired, and Hardy was Hardy. They just didn't seem to click, which made the match seem even longer than it was. So the run in happens, Jeff wins and then…HE IS IGNORED! That's right, they totally focus on the fact that Carlito screwed Orton and what that will lead to, while Jeff Hardy, you know, the #1 contender for the IC Title is basically an after thought, as is the title. Inexcusable really.
Problems with the way they set up Cena vs. Edge and Edge tells a fib! – They bring this "signed Smackdown contract" out of thin air, which even further makes the attempted brand split a joke. But that isn't my problem. It is the same old shit of, "Loser goes to Smackdown." WWE.com had a story on this, and they have since changed the wording, but the column said, "Edge made the match and set the stipulation as TLC. To make matters worse for Cena, if he loses he will have to go to Smackdown." Wow…how bad is that really? But that wasn't the worst thing to happen to Smackdown on Raw this week.
And then there is WWE rewriting history yet again. Edge claims to be undefeated in TLC matches. Guess what kids, false. There is that "long lost and forgotten" TLC match from May 24, 2001 on Smackdown. Jericho and Benoit were the tag champs and defended against E&C, The Dudleyz and Hardyz. So why Edge has won all the other ones he has been in, this TLC he didn't win. Fact checking is fun kids.
What else sucks is that they aren't treated like the main event. They shoot a hot angle and the beat down by Edge was great; a great way to end the show but it was the first and second segment. After that though, the show went downhill in my opinion. They also just couldn't let Cena bleed to sell the ass whooping, nope, they had to save that for HBK and HHH. The wind was out of the sails at that point. What is sad is that these guys have a great chemistry and if fully given the ball, they could break out even more than they have. Will they be Austin and Rock, I doubt it, but they could be big and importantly they are fresh compared to the HHH parade of champions we have had before this, and that is coming from a HHH fan. I almost put this whole deal into Purgatory as well, but I really like the Cena/Edge program and build to this.
The Ridiculous:
The tag division makes me cry… – In 2006 watching Jim Dugan challenging for ANY title is a sad, sad thing to watch. And don't send me a bunch of shit saying that I an disrespecting legends or using a double standard because I like to watch Foley, Funk and Flair. I don't want them challenging for titles either, and the other thing is that they can still have good matches. Duggan is a parody, a character and when he teams with Eugene, I forget which one is retarded. It pains me to watch this, I have to go and watch some Mid-South to cleanse myself of this and see Duggan when he ruled. Also, who the hell is booking this shit? The Highlanders got a pin on the SS last week, but this week they don't get a title shot? They come out to the ring, start commentary and they and the SS get booted right away. It is just all so uninteresting, and also sad. Man I miss tag team wrestling in the E.
The Ri-GOD-DAM-diculous:
DX and The McMahon's show me the new math – I could almost copy and paste my rant from Summerslam here. Dear lord, this kind of thing just pisses me off. Once again, we had a HANDICAP MATCH on Raw, I am SO SICK of handicap matches. I am also sick and tired of the guys that have the disadvantage winning all of these handicap matches! There is NO SHAME IN LOSING A HANDICAP MATCH, especially when you are HHH and HBK. It won't hurt them one bit because they are so over! But then again, they were facing SMACKDOWN guys, so we had to make sure that we buried them. The match goes about 4-minutes and well, DX won clean as a whistle. BULLSHIT. So then Show comes out and they finally get the advantage, and Vince appears with Shane, and they start to help with the beat down. They made a steel pipe look like a wiffle ball bat as Vince hit them numerous times and then, HHH gets back up later and had to be hit again! SELL THE GIMMICK SHOT! Please.
And lets not forget the NEW MATH I learned tonight:
2 RAW guys = 3 Smackdown guys and 1 ECW World Champion.
1 owner and 1 Son > 1 ECW World Champion, 3 Smackdown Guys and 2 Raw Guys.
Astounding! But we shouldn't be surprised. And once again I ask, why should we care about the feud? DX always wins the matches, there is no reason to care. Also they announce Hell in a Cell, and they are going to have the ECW Champion in the match. Brand extension, what brand extension? This is just more of the same old shit. BLAH! The only joy I got from this was the prospect of seeing Finlay vs. HBK…oh yes that would rule.
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 08.29.06:
I am really starting to like some part of the ECW show, unfortunately they haven't been able to get enough of them on one show…the wrong and ridiculous this week are very nit-picky in nature, and while the show didn't blow anyone away, I didn't come away bored by it.
The Right:
Finally, a change of pace – I really want to compliment ECW on a nice change of pace this week. I had said that I thought that there needed to me a change, a mix up in the formula so to speak and they did it this week. There was no ECW Title match in the main event, which I really thought they needed to do and there won't be next week as they set up Show vs. DX. Also, there was no sign of Mike Know or Test. It isn't that I hate them, but they have been on almost every week lately, so a show without them was a really nice change of pace as well. RVD and Holly kicked things off, stemming from their interaction last week and things aren't done there by a long shot. Punk had another solid outing, and it is nice to see Stevie Richards on TV, even if he is jobbing, again. I really feel they can use guys like Stevie, Credible and C-Dubb better, but they don't seem to want to so I'll take what I can get. Anyway, it was the change I was looking for, an attempt to make the show different for a week and it was, so that made me happy.
Heyman's Henchmen – I love the idea of Heyman having a group of henchmen to take care of his problems, like his disciples since he IS the messiah of ECW. It is giving people purpose, Show the chosen one for champion, the Bashams as Security; who were not being utilized until now and Holly, the grizzled veteran with a lot to offer still and one of the WWE guys that really does belong in the ECW environment. If booked correctly, this should be a fun time and we can only hope that guys like the Bashams will be used more than just the security role they are in right now. Please make an ECW tag division and use it! We have a start right now:
Test and Knox
The FBI
The Bashams
Put Credible and Stevie or C-Dubb together, maybe bring Joey Mercury in after his rehab and pair him with one of those and you have 5-tag teams. PLEASE DO THIS!
purgatory:
Well that was a lot like Raw… – So seeing the end of ECW this week, I had a sense that I had seen this before. Wait...let me think. I'll figure it out. Talk amongst yourselves a moment, I'll give you a topic. Too much positivism, blinding you to the truth of the product or a cute trait, DISCUSS.
I GOT IT! It was very similar to the end of RAW! I know this is the same company, but do you think that we could have SOME difference between the brands, please? Anyway, this in one of those things that bugs me, as I see so much of the same that I tend to become desensitized to the product at times. The good thing about it, and JD Dunn said it perfectly is that while this was obviously a McMahon idea, at least it had a Paul Heyman execution. It had some fun spots, and going in you knew Heyman wasn't going to wrestle the match. But they got there in an entertaining way, which keeps the Sabu vs. Heyman and Show deal going, as well as sets up RVD and Sabu vs. Holly and Show. I really liked that part. So while I was ready to bury it, because we basically saw the same thing on Raw, this saved it for me and will go here in purgatory.
The wRong:
Dupree and Moore – Same as last week for more and I am feeling the same way for Dupree. These guys need to debut in the ring soon. I LOVE the little backstage character stuff, but you can only do it for so long. I also think that they made a mistake by having so many guys (Punk, Test, Dupree, Moore) that are new going to debut. They did a good job and debuted Punk and Test, but Dupree and Moore are still waiting. They've brought Striker and Holly over, so they seemed to jump ahead of them. But all we see are then backstage. Moore says something pointless to make him look like a rebel while Dupree works out, poses and says he will be hardcore. It's all well and good, but they need to have one of them debut next week I feel. If they don't get a match and soon, I just can't fathom how anyone will really care about the characters. I hope I am wrong but I really feel they need to debut, like now.
The Ridiculous:
ECW: A shill for the Raw PPV – Yes indeed, ECW is now a shill for the Raw PPV. Don't deny that, just look at the evidence. Big Show is being used on the PPV to help the McMahon's. Next week DX will be on ECW to face Big Show. Now while they have said that there would be cross over, especially from Raw, that goal was "supposedly" to help ECW, to make sure they got strong ratings. I understand that, and I do understand this, from a business standpoint. But in the end, I question why the so-called "A-Show" needs help from ECW to build a PPV and build up a PPV main event. All this means is for the next few weeks, everything on ECW TV won't mean jack shit unless it revolves around Big Show, and probably Heyman. It is just annoying I suppose.
iMpact!:
iMpact 08.31.06:
I lied. The tropical storm is rolling in and my electricity is getting crazy. So no R's of Impact this week, if I can get them in sometime on Friday I will, if not, I will include them next week. Sorry all.
Rankings~!:
Rankings reflective as of 9.01.06.
The Raw Top 5:
WWE Champion: Edge
1. John Cena (1)
2. Johnny Nitro: IC Champion (2)
3. Umaga (3)
4. Jeff Hardy (5)
5. DX (NR)
The Smackdown Top 5:
World Champion: King Booker
1. Batista (1)
2. Finlay: US Champion (2)
3. Bobby Lashley (4)
4. Sylvester Turkay (5)
5. Mr. Kennedy (NR)
The ECW Top 5:
ECW Champion: The Big Show
1. Sabu (1)
2. RVD (2)
3. CM Punk (4)
4. Test(3)
5. Hardcore Holly (NR)
The TNA Top 5:
NWA Champion: Jeff Jarrett
1. LAX: NWA Tag Team Champions (1)
2. Samoa Joe (2)
3. AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels (3)
4. Abyss (5)
5. Senshi: X-Division Champion (4)
READER RANT TIME!
From Terry, who is fed up with WWE -
I have watched wrestling since 1989 for the pure purpose of entertainment. I did suffer through the early/mid 90's and 2003, however, I still stood by in support of my favorite form of entertainment. It is Monday night August 28, and after another painful episode of a WWE televised product I have decided to retire as a viewer. Unlike wrestling retirements I do not see a ray of light at the end of this lame, boring, unentertaining tunnel hence my retirement is exactly that, reF'Ntirement. I do want to thank and commend you and your fellow columnists for keeping me entertained and informed over the years, peace.
From Mark on the same -
I was tuned into RAW tonight with my newlywed wife who is also a huge wrestling fan, We watched the main event, saw three Smackdown midcarders jobbed out to DX and swore that we'd quit WWE programming as we were both old school WCW fans anyhow... The only problem is that on the other hand all you have is Jeff Jarrett, a man that I connect the demise of WCW to and if TNA doesn't drop the belt off of him soon I'm just going to wish that I'd quit watching when WCW died.
I'm going to keep watching TNA....even with them losing .2-.3 in the ratings with Jarrett as champ....I want to watch good wrestling and TNA is the better wrestling program, I still love all wrestling I just don't want it championed by people that don't think of anyone but themselves anymore...and I can't stand to watch most of what's on right now.
Anyhow, just my 2 bits
Dan shares some of my sentiments from Raw -
REGODAMNDICULOUS!!! The #2,3, and 4 heels on Smackdown, one of which is the 2nd highest champion on the brand, couldn't beat 2 Raw guys. If the plan was for Trips and Shawn to be left bloody and beaten why couldn't it start with the Smackdown guys. It's easy, have Trips hit the Pedigree, have the ref be distracted and BOOM, club shot, pin. DX loses no steam since it would've taken 3 guys and a weapon to beat them. Then you have Show and the McM's come out to finish the assault, but no...Now ECW looks good, Raw looks great and the one brand that needed the boost, gets kicked right in the nuts. God I fucking hate how blatant it was.
Jamie decided to take a look at Raw -
Hmm. Raw. It seemed like a good show when I watched it. But then I think about it, and it had a fair amount of what the fuck was the point in that moments.
- Edge/Cena Segment: Excellent. Like the idea of Cena going to Smackdown, since the state Smackdown's in right that, that really is a viable possibility so the outcome isn't completely predictable several weeks prior to the match (a victory on the wwe's behalf these days). Edge will fill us in later on the where/what. The suspense.
John Cena Vs. Masters : Congratulations on the most fucking pointless return ever; welcome to lower midcard Masterpiece. All those months of "who will break the masterlock" seem so well spent now right? Not only did he manage to lose with almost no offence, then lose by DQ but also he got WWE's new return treatment: no focus. Jesus, I know the title needs some sort of attention since they overshadowed it for the last 3 months, but lets not destroy the roster and make this Smackdown.
However, the aftermath was good, and it was nice to see Cena sell like a bitch and not have a miracle comeback for once.
- Schoolgirl thing wasn't even hot so w/e.
Tag team Division:............ Ok. Seriously, if Benjamin isn't getting any sort of a push any time soon (which he isn't), why not put him and Haas back together and get them the fuck off heat because tagging with Viscera has no future further than the closest kfc.
Orton/Hardy: Hmm. Pretty good, pretty much what I expected. From a "what needs set up for the ppv" point of view, it was predictable, but that's not a bad thing. I enjoyed it, and I'm glad they took the right direction with Jeff. Orton needs a win soon though, or he's going to look...well. Worse than he already does after losing to Hogan. Small side note: Was it just me o was Orton just not selling half of Jeff's moves. There was a point, I think where Jeff flew out the ring, and slammed Orton off the barricade, where I thought to myself "fuck Hardy could literally knife him in the kidney right now, and he'd get up and grin". So yea. Otherwise, good, good wrestling, good setup in general ( see next point)
Nitro Melina conference: Ok. This was really fun. And for the first time since he came to raw, he actually got to hear Nitro speak and show he has some talent (a luxury these days). Anyone remember when Jericho was IC material? He never shut up. This belt needs focus, because it's only been in the last two weeks I've noticed Nitro's talent in ring AND on mic. And that's not because I haven't been watching. My only problem here was that even though the segment was gone, what the fuck was the point? I was waiting for a Hardy run-in/confrontation with Nitro to give their on-coming feud a little spark....but no. I thin WWE has a few good feuds coming here, with Carlit/Orton, and now this. But Jeff needs some focus too. I know he's not best on mic, but at least have him show up on the ramp, TNA get away with that. Or maybe not zoom away as soon as he wins a match at least.
Tag team match: See above. This division is a joke. Especially considering the active talent they have being wasted that could be contributing.
Umaga: um. Yea. Same as usual. Pretty brutal as usual. Seems to be going somewhere. And probably at the ring time. He's destroyed enough people. Seeing him gruel it out and beat Kane will elevate him.
Women's title match: No run in by Trish rendered this completely pointless.
DX/Smackdown. McMahonfest: Right first of all. Only considering the match tonight. Good choice of opponents, I couldn't guess it, and seeing Finlay twice a week is going to put me in a very good mood on Friday night. The guy is so high of my list right now. Ok match, pretty much what I expected. My what the fuck moment was the clean win THEN have show run in. I mean, fuck sake. This is Smackdown's 3 top heels (excluding Booker). Ok, so they're nothing on DX. We know that. We don't expect them to win clean, or win at all. But at least have show run in, and a loss by DQ or something, no need to bury them AGAIN to DX. Otherwise Meh. Good match just for the Smackdown guys.
Overall storyline concerning this match:....Jesus Christ. Vince couldn't just take a night off could he. This story is horrible. Plus the pipe was overkill. Ok. Hit Triple H like 3 times with it. But after you hit him 15 times, he would be brain damaged. So you ruined the illusion. Second of all why the fuck is the big show going to be on Unforgiven. in a hell in the cell. Just...why. Why is hell in a cell happening anyway. And since it is, why officially put show in the match? He's clearly going to run in anyway an booking him in it just feels wrong since he's supposed to be ECW. Plus, not to moan, but its supposed to have been 6 days since Sabu mashed his face open and there's no mark. Could we not have put a plaster or something on him to make the blade job less obvious?
Overall, Unforgiven looks like its got some good matches, and they even keep the title feud fresh since I was worried TLC wouldn't quite do it...but the contract thing works IMO. I really could scream about the McMahon/ DX stuff but you know the how and why. I'm sure the match itself contained will work. If we're lucky. But the overall thing is horrible. Hardy/Nitro, Carlito/Orton, Kane/Umaga, Trish/Lita in a......everyone leaves and we ditch this division match?, Edge/Cena. Some good matches there. And Raw did a fair job putting those feuds together. It's just the whole McMahon thing overshadowing it all that's ruining it.
Oh well. A bit of a mess, but its 5am here, and that's my thoughts. Sad to see you leaving the raw recap, but at least you're still going with your other stuff. Keep up the good reads.
And finally, you know things bad when a well known IWC name is totally disgruntled -
For more than a couple of decades now, I've been a fan of the World Wrestling Federation, now World Wrestling Entertainment. I've followed the highs and lows of the organization, from Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage to Stone Cold & the Rock to John Cena & Batista. In a way, I
could be called a super-fan, since I've put together a massive website over the last 10 years, recording the history of sports entertainment.
However, my passion for WWE has been going downhill over the last month, with my fire to continue the webpage dying off. I didn't fully put together why this was until this past Friday night, when I watched Vicki Guerrero turn heel and hit Rey Mysterio with a chair. The exploitation of Eddie's memory hit a new low that I would have never thought possible. I used to have respect for Chavo, Vicki, and, yes, Mysterio. But for them to go along with this angle is simply disturbing to me. I couldn't watch another minute of the show, as I was simply too disgusted with this situation.
Thus, I have made a decision. I am no longer watching WWE television. This includes Smackdown, Raw, ECW, even the episodes of Heat on the Internet. Vince McMahon will no longer be getting my money every month (whenever I could afford it) for the pay-per-views. I will not attend any live WWE shows that come to my city. I hope he realizes what a loyal customer he's losing, someone who has given probably too much to them over the years.
I will have to be content with TNA and my ROH tapes for now, because if this is the only way to get it through McMahon's mind that exploiting the memory of a great wrestler is wrong, then that's what I've got to do. Maybe someday, I'll return to watch the "#1" wrestling program. Maybe someday, WWE will get another dollar from me. Maybe someday, Vince will learn that the pocket book shouldn't go ahead of respect.
Right now, I can't say that I'm expecting miracles.
Peace,
Andy "Speed" Rasa
aka The Accelerator
http://www.accelerator3359.com/Wrestling/
