The Fink’s Payload 09.04.06: Spirit Squad Break Up
Posted by Sforcina-Marsico on 09.04.2006
Gimme an S! Gimme a P! Gimme an L! Gimme an I! Gimme a T! What’s that spell? FINKLE!
Chris: One again, you've arrived at the fantasy booker's paradise – The Fink's Payload!
Matt: Yes, indeed, welcome back. And this time round the maypole, we are having a look at the Spirit Squad, and how the IWC feels they should be broken up. And we have lots of detailed ideas, so grab a beverage of your choice and get comfortable. And yes, we know a certain Slowly Getting Over Fellow 411 Writer did this, but hey, the more ideas the merrier, yes? The first idea (And please remember, we have limited time and space, and hence if we don't use your idea it's not that we don't like it…well Chris may not like it, but the point is that there are many factors in choosing submissions. We apologize if we can't use yours) this week comes to us from Jay 2K Winger, and he has a nice detailed outlook. You ready Fink?
Week One. Vince is, of course, heavily depressed about the way D-X has been running roughshod over. The Spirit promises to make him proud by going out and winning a ten-man tag match that night Squad: the entire Squad versus the Highlanders, Hacksaw, Eugene, and, Snitsky. They lose, thanks to some miscommunication amongst themselves, and the Highlanders get the pinfall. The Squad bickers a bit, but unite to beat down on their foes until the faces clear the ring and send them running. Vince is not impressed and declares that next week, the Squad has to defend the belts against the Highlanders.
Week Two. The Squad is bickering a bit again, arguing over which two of them will be the ones wrestling to defend the belts. In the end, Kenny and Johnny manage to convince the rest to let them compete, while Mikey spazzes out a bit, given that he was Kenny's partner when they won the belts, but he accepts the decision, and promises to give 110% support for the Squad. Mitch and Nicky remind him that they have to win this match, or Mr. McMahon won't be happy with them. During the match, Mikey's going all-out with "bringing the spirit," despite Mitch and Nicky's attempts to calm him down. His antics are even distracting Kenny and Johnny; at one point, Kenny goes up for his top-rope legdrop, but gets distracted by Mikey blowing the air-horn right next to him. This gives the Highlanders the chance to throw Kenny out of the ring, then hit the Scot-Drop on Johnny and clear the Squad from the apron when they try to prevent the pin. One, two, three, the Highlanders win the Tag Titles. Mikey, knocked for a loop from a Rory McAllister headbutt, spazzes out, and is apologetic to the Squad as they all argue over what happened.
Week Three. Mikey is in trouble with the Squad for what happened, and so to prove he's still capable of bringing the spirit, he challenges Rory McAllister to a singles match. Johnny and Nicky join him at ringside, as Mitch and Kenny refuse to accompany them to ringside. Kenny says until Mikey can prove he's got spirit, he's not helping him. So the match takes place, and Mikey seems to be holding his own pretty well, with minimal assistance from Johnny and Nicky. Robby's at ringside with Rory, of course, and tries to keep the other cheerleaders from interfering, but the numbers game is still against him. Mikey eventually grabs Rory and holds him for the megaphone shot from Johnny, but Rory moves and Mikey takes the hit. Rory throws Johnny out, Robby knocks down Nicky, and they hit the Scot-Drop before the ref recovers from a hit he'd taken, and Rory pins Mikey. After the match, the arguing continues, this time Johnny's the one on the spot.
Week Four. Vince is still stressing out over the whole D-X situation, and the Squad offers to help him, but Mr. McMahon isn't impressed. The five of them weren't able to beat D-X, hell, the five of them PLUS Kennedy, Finlay, Regal, and Big Show couldn't keep D-X down long enough for he and Shane to beat them at SummerSlam. And now they lose the tag titles to "a couple of sheep-loving Scotsmen?" Mr. McMahon banishes them from his office. In an attempt to win back Vince's approval, they interfere in D-X's match that night against, Cade and Murdoch. It backfires, of course, and D-X sends them packing and wins the match anyway. This week, the fault for the miscommunication goes to Nicky and Mitch. More arguing ensues, and now they start fighting.
Unforgiven. Vince and Shane prepare for their match against DX. The Spirit Squad turns up, still arguing, but Kenny shuts them up and asks for one last chance to prove themselves. Vince refuses. Kenny, acting like a bit of a smug prick, agrees that maybe the rest of the Squad may be a bunch of screw-ups, but he's never disappointed Mr. McMahon. Vince, still not happy, tells him, "Then you prove yourself to me. You have a match tonight, and it's going to happen RIGHT NOW." Kenny, somewhat thrown by this, asks who his opponent will be. Cue the arrival of Arrrrmandoooo Alejandrrrrooo ESSSTRRRRRRRRRADA, who laughs and tells him his opponent is none other than the Samoan Bulldozer, UUUUUMAGA! At ringside, Kenny tries to get the rest of the Squad to help him out, but they all give him the cold shoulder. Mikey does try to help out, but makes the mistake of trying to headbutt a Samoan. Umaga shows him how it's done, then throws him out of the ring. Kenny tries to capitalize, but Umaga just shrugs it off and hits an elevated Samoan Spike to get the win. The rest of the Squad just leaves to let Kenny get pinned.
Week Five. The Squad has no match this week, but we see them backstage arguing one last time. Kenny is pissed because they abandoned him against Umaga, Nicky and Johnny are pissed because Kenny called them a bunch of screw-ups, Mikey's upset because everyone's yelling and they're all fighting, and Mitch, well, he's just angry about the screw-ups remark as well. Things come to blows, and it's quite clear the Spirit Squad has broken up.
After this, the Squad goes their separate ways.
Kenny goes on to become a singles competitor -- and starts going by Kenny Doane. His gimmick is rather similar to Randy Orton's old "hot young superstar who is the future of this business" gimmick, minus the legend-killer thing.
Nicky and Johnny, now Nick Nemeth and Johnny Jeter, go the tag-team route. They go around calling themselves the "all-stars of Raw," or something.
Mikey can keep going by Mikey, and does the whole "spaz" thing the way Crash Holly used to do so well. He can be kept around to be a slightly better quality of jobber. Whenever someone needs to destroy someone in impressive fashion, you use Mikey.
Mitch, now Nicholas Mitchell, is consigned to Heat for the rest of his career, as a jobber..
Chris: Too much for the Spirit Squad. These guys are flashes in the pan – not someone of note. They don't deserve this many segments in my opinion – overbooked!!!
Matt: Detailed, logical, simple. So of course the WWE won't use it. But still, decent plan, although the HITC thing does make the Unforgiven thing a tad less logical. Plus getting killed by Umaga would, you assume, turn one of them face. But still, despite the storylines changing enough to require reworking, it's still pretty solid I think.
From one detailed list to another (Get another pen Fink), Hazmatt makes the jump from playing the home game to the big time…
Vince is so consumed with destroying "that damn DX" that he cannot focus on the Spirit Squad, and appoints Kenny as team captain. At first, everyone cheers, and all seems well. A week or so later, Kenny sends Nick and Johnny out to the ring for a match. They go to reach for the tag belts, when Mitch and Mikey object. Kenny asks what they're doing. Nick tries to explain that anyone in the squad can wear the tag belts. Kenny quickly lays down a new rule, saying the belts need to stay on specific waists, and that it's nothing personal. Nick and Johnny come back after their match, in which they were slaughtered. Mitch and Mikey make a comment about how lucky they were that the B-Team didn't lose the belts. And the tensions, they do start a-flyin'. Kenny comes in to quell the tempers, and tells everyone to act like a team. Everyone. The next week, Kenny tries to rally the Squad together, and then speaks with Nick and Johnny privately, and explains to them that everyone is important in the Squad, even JV. Nick and Johnny are infuriated with being referred to as the JV
string. Kenny, not happy with their attitudes, switches participants for the tag match, and sends Nick and Johnny into a match, giving Mitch and Mikey the night off for good behavior.
Unlike the previous week, Nick and Johnny absolutely decimate their opponents, and a vicious, weapon-involving post-match beat down cements that fact. Slowly during this time, Kenny is "maturing" into Ken Doane . He begins to tone back his behavior, take things more serious, and while keeping the green and white, gets new ring attire. Eventually, the Tag belts will be defended at Unforgiven in a four-corners match. At the last minute, one of the face teams is injured, and while Mikey and Mitch believe the match has become a triple-threat, the injured team is replaced by an eager Nick and Johnny. At the end of the match, Nick and Johnny pin their fellow Squad members. Ken Doane makes his way into the ring, at first seemingly wanting to smooth things over, but soon sides with Mitch and Mikey. He grabs a mic and begins questioning Nick and Johnny, asking why they even thought what has happened is good for the Squad. Ken goes so far as to insist that the SS is disrespected due to the actions of Nick and Johnny, and no one else. He goes so far as to ask "Where is your
dignity? Where is your pride? Where is your team spirit?"
Nick and Johnny decide to reply, admittedly, in the SS fashion that Ken himself made famous. "We've got spirit, yes we do. But we've got gold, so f--- you!" Nick and Johnny then leave the ring together, with Mitch and Mikey begging Ken to do something about the situation. The following night on RAW, Ken shuts up Mitch and Mikey as they are being interviewed. Ken says he is tired of babysitting the four of them, and hasn't done anything he has wanted to do for himself. He announces that he's done with all of it, and the Squad can take care of things without him from now on. The remaining four continue to each acknowledge themselves as members of the Spirit Squad, but each team remains isolated and aggressive toward the other. Eventually, the situation reaches a boiling point when Mitch and Mikey demand their rematch at Cyber Sunday. Johnny and Nick propose that they come prepared, because there's a big surprise waiting for them. At the match, Mitch and Mikey come to the ring in typical Spirit Squad fashion, squad colors, entrance music, every bit. Johnny and Nick come out to a new trendy rock theme, looking more like Abercrombie models than male cheerleaders, and stand in the entranceway for their big surprise: Melina has found a new tag team to manage.
Chris: I honestly believe that these guys are not recoverable in their current form – not to any branched off angles or they'll end up on the unemployment line within months. So, as much as I appreciate the effort, I pass on this one too.
Matt: It was all going so nicely until that last bit kinda ruined it. Johnny and Nick would be made with that quote at Unforgiven, and to go through all that then what, turn them heel? Turn Melina face? What about Nitro? Now, sub in Maria or Cheerleader Melissa or Layla or someone…
And finally, we have. MalVct7, with a very short and sweet idea.
Vince tries (once again) sicking the squad on DX to soften them up. DX (once again) disposes of them like yesterday's newspaper. Vince is royally pissed off, goes completely bonkers on the Squad, strips them of the Tag Titles, and fires them right then and there. Vince awards the Tag Titles to himself and Shane (since "no one else is worthy"). After some time goes by, the Squad members (little by little) reappear on the various brands, with new gimmicks and/or names.
Matt: Short, simple, and kills 5 careers in one fell swoop. Steph would be proud. Although I do think DX winning the belts then the McMahon's beating them for the belts has some small degree of promise.
Chris: Kills two belts even deader. Tag wrestling will never recover if the McMahons, or another main event team wins them.
And now, drum roll please, our ideas!
Matt: Well, for starters, The Squad must survive to at least the Survivor Series, if for no other reason than they are a 5 man group. We must see a Classic Survivor Series style match with them, we have to. Of course, it can be the break up there, if you like. Over the next few weeks, have 2 distinct teams form. Mitch and Nicky start teaming on a regular basis, feuding with say the Highlanders and Mikey and Johnny focus on Duggan and Eugene. Kenny works mostly single matches and teaming with Umaga against DX and stuff. Then, on a Raw after the two distinct teams beat both Highlanders and the Idiots (marking the first time a team has defended the tag titles twice in one night successfully, I think), we go to the back, and we see them having a party that turns ugly when the two teams feel that they deserve more credit. "We beat a legend in Hacksaw!" "Well we beat a real team!" so on and so forth. Kenny tries to restore order, but then he says something like "I'll have to start defending the belts again, that way I'll make sure we keep them and everyone is happy", and that leads to even more dissention. Said chaos ends up costing Kenny his #1 contender's match against HHH, meaning that Hunter gets the WWE Title shot at Survivor Series. This angers Vince/Coach/Authority figure #12, and thus a Survivor Series match is signed for the PPV, The Squad vs. Eugene & Hacksaw/The Highlanders/? for the tag titles. Should the Squad be eliminated, then the other ‘3' teams will have an elimination match to crown the new champs.
But who is the question mark? We see the two face teams having a ‘discussion', and then Rob Conway walks in, Victoria on his arm, and offers his services. He's a multi-time Tag Champ after all. Hacksaw is suspicious, Eugene oddly trusts Rob and the Highlanders get entranced by Victoria and they agree. As for Conway's partner, thanks to Victoria having a ‘conference' (I'm using a lot of inverted commas, huh?) with Coach, should Conway be the sole survivor, he can choose his new tag partner. In the lead up to the PPV, Conway runs the faces offence, and constantly outsmarts and gets the upper hand of the Squad, him being the smartest one in the feud pretty much. On Heat before the show, when Maria asks him whom he will pick should he win, he says something like. "And your NEW World Tag Team Champions, Rob Conway &…Victoria. Sounds good, don't it?".
The match itself sees the 2 halves of the Squad work separately, almost like mini matches as they focus on one tag team each. But eventually, thanks to miscommunication, all but Kenny are eliminated from the Squad while Eugene, one of the Highlanders and Conway remain. Kenny then fights well, taking out Eugene, then the Highlander, and then Conway comes in for probably the first time in the match. He walks up to Kenny, looks him up and down, rears back-
Finger poke. Kenny falls down, Rob covers, new Tag champs in Conway and…Kenny. Victoria grabs the belts, they all hug and have an evil moment when the other 4 teams run back out and chase them off.
You then have Mitch and Nicky stay heel, saying that while they didn't like it, they respect Kenny's actions. They become a rough, jock type tag team while Mikey and Johnny turn face, confused and dazed and what have you.
Long I know, but I really like this idea. So sue me.
Chris: One very simple way to split them up.
Take them off TV. That's right – no drawn out B.S., nothing. Have someone go over them for the tag belts (My pick is Duggan/Eugene, since you know they'd get a huge pop for that and can easily drop them to another heel team fast) and just have them disappear. Nothing drawn out – nothing excessive. Take them off TV, repackage, and start again. DX has damaged these guys bad already, and if you want a future for the talented guys (Kenny D and Johnny Jeter), you gotta keep them from too much more jobberitis!!
Matt: Another concept done, finishes, bought the t-shirt. So, what's next for the IWC think tank?
Time for a biggie!
Edge vs. Cena – TLC – This is apparently the end of the feud. Who goes over, how and why?
Remember, you should send your booking concepts, to the combined Fink's Payload Email, finkspayload@gmail.com. Please. I like getting mail, I so rarely get any.
