MeeThinks 9.12.06: Going Old School (Part II.5 of IV)
Posted by John Meehan on 09.12.2006
MeeThinks readers take their guesses at some of WWE's most atrocious action figures!
Welcome back, all – and we're hitting the ground running this week with a continuation of our four-part journey through this fan's history of fandom. Though this week is a bit of a departure along the way back through the history books, it's a fun read and MeeThinks it's definitely worth your time just the same.
If you missed the column that kickstarted this quest, do kindly allow Mee to catch you up to speed:
A few weeks ago…
I stopped back up to the Meehan household in sunny (and *rural*) New Jersey. While visiting with some old friends and the family, my folks brought it to my attention that I'd still left a few Tupperware containers of my crap from when I was a kid upstairs in the family attic. Being a good son (or wanting to look like one, at least) I hauled one of the tubs back to DC and…
WHAM!
Like a wave of olfactory bliss, I was all at once overcome by that familiar-yet-pungent odor of decade-old rubber and plastic playthings of years gone by. Yes folks, I'd in fact stumbled upon the motherload… for there in a 28-gallon tub before Mee lied twenty years (and countless dollars) worth of professional wrestling action figures. Scads of them, too… dating WAAAAAY the hell back to the 12" days of molded rubber and spanning up and through the golden years of wrestling's mid-nineties action figure renaissance. From foot-tall Andres to six inch Beefcakes, from power-punching action through ringside catapults… I was sitting on a goldmine of memories, e-bay-bound knick-knacks and stinky rubber.
Three weeks ago, we probed the later part of my high school years and unearthed a dusty old 3 ½ inch floppy disk that revealed my passage from "mark" boy to "smart" young adult wrestling fan. Last week we went back even further through the annals of wrestling history and the heyday of it's late ‘90's resurgence as…
MeeThinks took on the action figures of the Attitude Era.
In that column -
I posted this photo (you'll see it quite a bit in this column, so no point in showing it again just yet), and I challenged YOU, the readers, to shoot Mee your e-mails fielding your best guesses as to exactly WHO all of those rather nondescript chunks of plastic and rubber were intended to be. I figured maybe two or three folks might e-mail Mee with their guesses, too… but that'd be the end of things.
Boy was *I* wrong…
We're talking 30+ emails from the 411 community, folks. That's upwards of fourteen pages of single-spaced text, ya' know. And so, rather than churn out a two web page column and shuttle all of the reader feedback to a rarely-clicked page two, Mee is putting You at the forefront of this week's article and dedicating an entire column to the results of last week's contest.
Sorry, no prizes. I'm a broke-ass college student and freelance graphic designer. Perhaps I'll Photoshop you some fancy certificate or whatnot, eh?
Rock & roll.
Before we jump into the contest entry e-mails, let's get the other stuff out of the way first, yes?
Gabe Sosnowki gets top billing. Brevity = bonus points, you know!
AMAZING column. The action figures brought back beautiful memories, you are
the fucking man.
- Gabe Sosnowski
Awesome, and thanks for the compliment dude!
Stonec2893 was similarly impressed:
I loved this weeks edition. I thought I was the only one who had so many figures when i was a kid, they were the best. I had so many, damn Vince made a ton off of me, well my mom. Im 16 now but i dont play with them anymore but thanks for taking me back, I made me feel like i was 8 again. Great Job, keep up the good work.
-Stonec2893
Thanks for writing, Stone. Would it be too embarrassing to admit that I was still buying those things like crazy when *I* was sixteen?! Yes? Well, um... moving on then ;-)
Craig picks a bone of contention with last week's praise-Jakks-fest:
Hi
Cool article - I have to disagree with you about the quality of the Jakks figures from the 90's, they were pretty bad - until Toybiz took over the WCW licence the Jakks figures were rubbish. If you compare the first Bret Hart figure from Toybiz to any Jakks made one you'll see.
Anyway after Toybiz got into the market Jakks have really upped their game - like you said with real scan and better sculpts.
Love the crowd video
Cheers
Craig
Thanks for writing, Craig. You're right in noting that WWF really stepped up their game once WCW came into the fray, but I'll have to once again reiterate that much of WCW's toy run was balls. "The Hitman" in gangster pinstripes? Cool though it may seem, it was completely out of character. "Lionheart" Chris Jericho as a full-blown lion tamer? What were they THINKING!?!
And again, the VIBRATING ACTION of Hall, Nash, DDP, Giant, Luger, Sting, and Hogan were flat-out abysmal. The run just prior to that was equally bad (with the hard rubber six-inchers, NOT the one with the molded Pink/Blue muscle-posed Sting four-incher that everybody had, but the one with fat-looking Kevin Sullivan, Harlem Heat and the rest), and there was little good that came of most of WCW's one-off runs (with twisting mechanical battle arms, giant-sized Goldbergs and the like).
But you're right in noting that WWF definitely brought out the big guns once Toybiz lit a fire under WCW's ass!
Ok, enough of the jibber-jabber. Onto the results! Can YOU name all eight of the faces below?!?
Zero Heroes (Folks who didn't get a single one correct)
Nada. So we move forward!
One is the Loneliest Number (1 for 8 correct)
Again, nobody – so the search continues.
Two Outta' Eight, Ain't Bad! (Well, yeah it kind of is…)
Hey, Mee, I'm gonna try my best to do the 8 guys:
Rick Rude, Taker, Diesel, Jericho, Edge, uh....Mo from Men on a Mission?
other two I have no idea. Anyway, great column, and I hope I win!!
The Veej
Nice try, Vee, and I appreciate the feedbackj... but looks like you've only managed a sorry two for eight. Better luck next time, my good man.
Three Strikes… You're Out (3 for 8)
With zero e-mails nailing only three for eight, it looks like nbody struck out last week. Whew! Hate to have to resort to making another baseball joke now that football season is in full swing, eh?
Whoah, We're Halfway There (4 for 8)
My guesses for the figures
Top row: Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw-D'lo Brown- HHH -Vince
Bottom row:Undertaker-Edge(thanks to your Macgyvered Jeff Hardy)don't know and Little Richard possessed by the devil.
- Bobby Tsunami
Just four for eight, Bobby. "Little Richard posessed by the devil" pretty well sums up Mero's ill-fated Blacksploitastic "Johnny B. Badd" character, though - so I'll give you a half point for that one!
Well Mee. Unfortunatly I can not guess all eight but I thinks I comes close.
1. Not sure but possible a "smoking gun" (tracy smothers)
2. d-lo brown
3. jerhico??
4. kind of has a bishoff look but it's Vince
5. either bradshaw or undertaker
6. your make shift hardy boy(edge)
7. mideon
8. marc mero
knowing my luck I have 4 out of 8 or even worse. but good luck with that, its a tough one.
keep the good articles coming.
- alan h.
Thanks for writing, Alan. Four out of eight it is!
Johnny's "Five is Alive" (5 for 8) And a "Short Circuit" reference, no less!
Why not? Here's a shot at the action figures:
Jericho, D'Lo, Christian, Shane,
Taker, Edge, Mideon, Mero
-Clayton Chandler
Three misses puts you at five for eight, Clay. Sorry to say, but Y2J never got a Jakks figure in this line (his was among the first to be Titan-Tron ready, and would come some years later)! To be fair, KB Toys *did* issue a later EXCLUSIVE revisitation to the "Bone Crunching" line like five years after the fact (which included Hardys, a Triple H and a Jericho, I believe) - but the run was short-lived and easily forgotten. For good reason, too, might I add ;-)
Six Out of Eight, a.k.a. the ¾ Club (6 for 8)
Tons of folks came so close, but so far – as you'll see momentarily.
Mark Satrang had this to say:
Meehan--
I haven't written into your column in a while but I must say I am loving your going old school series. I didn't have the lot of Jakks figures like you but I remember back to my array of Hasbros 4 inch figures from the early '90s. I had the same type of memory field trip a few summers back as well when my mom moved out of our old place and I went through all my old toys, all the Ninja Turtles, GIJoes and wrestlers.
I'm going to take stab at the figures' likenesses. I would guess it would be Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, D-Lo Brown, Triple H?, Vince or Shane McMahon, Undertaker, Edge, X-Pac and Marc Mero.
Also I was with you and wanted to agree with you about Angle leaving being amicable. Unfortunately later news showed that it wasn't and he could end up in TNA or somewhere else. I really hope he does just go get help and return to WWE and not mess with the legacy he's built there.
Another side note, as I finish up grad school this year and begin work on my year long thesis project, it looks as if I may be doing a genre criticism or fantasy theme anaylsis on "sports-entertainment." Right now I'm just in the introductory phases, finding information of relevance on wrestling, and WWE mainly, to present to my thesis advisor. He seems on board and is kind of intrigued by the idea so hopefully it'll work for me and make my thesis work more enjoyable than what I had originally hoped it would be. I still have your senior thesis you e-mailed last fall so hpefully that will give me a little inspiration or help.
Anyways, keep up the goods...
Mark Satrang
Thanks for writing again, Mark! Good to hear that yet another wrestling-driven academic project is seeing the light of day! I might well post my thesis up on here again some time in the near future, and I'm happy to read whatever you come up with if you're willing share!
Heck, I bet tons of readers have turned in a paper or two on wrestling in their day. And I'd love to hear all about them, if y'all feel so inclined!
By the way, six for eight on your figure ID's! Missed numbers three and seven!
Sup Meehan,
I think I can get all 8 Correct, because I probably have all of them boxed up in my closet, I have close to 20 boxes of carded figures in my closet and at one time or another I had all of them.
So here goes
1. Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, Known today as JBL (A WRESTLING GOD none the less)
2. D'Lo Brown I believe this was his first figure, after his Nation days
3. This I'm thinking is TEST one of his first figures
4. Vince McMahon one of his first "None announcer" figures
5. This is the Undertaker, this was one of his figures from 98 after the godawful "glow in the dark" takers that were released before this.
6. This is the "signature" Edge on his left leg it has his "signature" and was onee of his first 3 figures at the time, this was pre Brood I believe around the time when he teamed with Sable against Marc Mero
7. this is Deisel one of his final figures before he left for WCW and started the nWo storyline.
8. This is Marc Mero I"m guessing during his "wildman" gimmick because when he was the TKO'ing Marc his hair was shorter and he wore a skull cap to the ring. (or this could be a rare WCW Jonny B Badd figure but either way it's he same guy)
If I don't get all 8 I think I might get 7 out of the 8, which i should get some sort of honorable mention if no one else gets as close.
Thanks for taking the time to read my guesses. and keep up the good work.
I know how much fun it is to go thru my old figures, I still have at least 60 of the old hasbro 6 inch figures, with the carrying case, and the plastic ring, and like I said a ton to carded figures in my closet with Multi-packs and limited edition figures. ( I even got one of the WrestleMania XV Limited Edition Stone Cold Stever Austin, still in the plasstic that it came in I think it was 1 or 5,000 if you bought a WM XV figure you got a slip of paper and if it said winner you sent it in and they sent you one of these figures in a bubble envelope)
- Eric
Thanks for writing, Eric. Six out of eight for your troubles (missed on #'s 4 and 7)!
As you can tell from above, I *LOVED* Mee my Hasbro six-inchers as well! Sounds like your collection pretty well comes near to completing the set, so you should definitely keep it near and dear to those other boxed and carded figs for that inevitable payday twenty years or so down the line!
from left to right
first row:
Justin "hawk" bradshaw, d-lo brown, brian pillman, vince mcmahon.
second row
the undertaker, edge, x-pac? , marc mero
thanks
daniel moore
from andover, england
Good show, Daniel! Six for eight it is (missed #'s 3 and 7). Little known fact - Brian Pillman died before any "Bone Crunching" figure of him could be made. He *did* have a WWF figure made in their short-lived Armyman line (wasn't it called like "S.T.O.M.P." or something like that?), but the less said about that one the better, eh?
Well, I used to collect during the Attitude Era myself, and had a whole
slew of "look nothing like them" guesses. So, I had to try this.
Let's go:
1: It looks like Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, so that is my pick.
2: D'Lo Brown
3: Chris Jericho
4: Vince McMahon
5: The Undertaker
6: Edge
7: Either Al Snow or Mick Foley. Official pick is Snow
8: Marc Mero
-bmcleod
Six out of eight, my friend. Bonus points for nailing the super-tricky figure in the bottom row!!!
What's up John!
I doubt this is going to be right, but I am going to give it a shot.
(From Left to Right: Top to Bottom)
1)Road Dogg ; 2)D-Lo Brown ; 3)Test ; 4)Shane McMahon
1) The Undertaker ; 2)Edge ; 3) X-Pac ; 4) Marc Mero
- Chad Rogers
Good try, but six out of eight as well.
as for a guess at which action figures those are - btw - i havent had any
action figures for years, the last ones i had were the actual "rubber" ljn
ones.
anywho - from left to right -
1) justin hawk bradshaw
2) d-lo brown
3) jericho
4) shane mcmahon?? maybe vince...
5) undertaker
6) edge
7) a fat x-pac?
8) marc mero/johnny b bad
- Mark Richardson
Six out of eight. Man, that mystery guy in the bottom row is keeping EVERYBODY guessing, eh!?
1.im not shure on but i am going to say either bart or billy gunn or bobby duncam jr.
2.d'lo brown
3. shawn michaels
4.i wanna say either vince shane or brooklyn brawler but i'm more apt to say shane so i will go with shane mcmahon
5. the undertaker
6.edge
7.mideon or doctor death steve williams
8.marc mero
i think i got at least halve of those and im pretty shure i got the right name somewhere on my guessing on 1, 4 and 7
- Richard Willock
Not bad, Rich. Six out of seven!
Seventh Heaven, But Still One Shy… (7 for 8)
Row 1 - Justin Hawk Bradshaw, D-Lo Brown, Test, Shane McMahon
Row 2 - Undertaker, Edge, This figure is a custom. It looks like Owen Hart's torso with an Undertaker head., Wildman Marc Mero
-Bobby
Seven for eight, Bobby. Sadly, figure number seven is NOT a trick (or a custom, for that matter)! You might be surprised to learn that this stock figure (well, his accessory, at least) was actually quite controversial, in his day…
Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw
D-lo Brown
Test
Shane McMahon
Undertaker
Edge
Diesel
Marc Mero
-ScottyHBK
Seven for eight makes for an impressive showing, no doubt. But again number seven proves to be the widowmaker!
I was a huge WWF action figure collector up until when they started doing the ones that talked when you put their foot on the soundstage...I found that those weren't as fun to play with and they were too much taller than my other action figures to have good matches with. Plus, I was in high school, for crying out loud. Playing with action figures doesn't impress the ladies too much around here.
Anyway, I think I actually know most of the heads in the picture.
1st row: Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, D-Lo Brown, Test, Shane McMahon
2nd row: Undertaker, Edge, Diesel, Wildman Marc Mero
I have all of them except for Bradshaw, Test & Diesel, so those are the ones I'm not sure about but think that's who they're supposed to be.
-Steve Cook
Good work, Cook - but number seven claims another victim. Seven for eight it is! TOTALLY agree about the Tron-Ready figures killing off the series, however. I too called it quits when WWF rolled out a whole new scale of figure to recapture their quickly-dwindling fanbase as the '90's drew to a close.
Meehan I got this shit,
First row left to right: Justin Hawk Bradsaw, D'lo, Test, Shane O Mac
Second row left to right: Undertaker, Edge, Dr Death Steve Williams, Wildman Marc Mero
- David McDonald
Interesting guess on number seven, David - but no cigar! Seven for eight it is... CAN ANYBODY STOP THIS INSANITY!?!?
hey I think I got the names of all 8 guys here we go....
1.) Justin Hawk Bradshaw (owned)
2.) D-lo Brown (owned a different type)
3.) Test (if that's the Test with purple trunks yes I owned it)
4.) Shane McMahon (with the 69 jersey OWNED!)
5.) Undertaker (don't think I had that one unless is little tear wore off on that particular one)
6.) Edge (not that onebut yes I had Edge)
7.) Diesel??? (dont think I've seen that one before)
8.) "Wildman" Marc Mero! (STILL OWN THAT ONE!!!!!)
- Justin Rosenbluth
Seven for eight, my friend. SO CLOSE!!! Unlucky number seven claims yet ANOTHER victim! Mwahahahahahaa!!!
Seems like even fellow Catholic University fans can't solve the number seven riddle. Just ask Chris Regal:
Damn man, that quiz is tough. But im a genius.
Justin hawk Bradshaw
DLo Brown
TEST
Shane McMahon (could also be the mold of vince but im not 100%)
Undertaker
Edge
Undertaker (im not 100% on this one, but i know I have it in my collection)
Wildman Marc Mero
That second to last one has me seriously torn. I know its Jakks/Pacific between 1997-1999. It looks like Taker, but thats not his attire. it must be one of those stupid as STOMP series.
best of luck dude. amen, still love the column. this one was total classic, god knows i still have all the figures and the boxes in my attic, including the entire first series of ECW and some old hasbro ones.
-Regal
Thanks for writing, as always Chris. Yes, S.T.O.M.P. was ballz… but your videos are definitely enjoyable enough to help at least one wrasslin' fan forget that blemish on the face of wrestling history… if only for 57 minutes, of course ;-)
Love that "Jingle All the Way… TO HELL!" video, btw!
Okay, Starting from left on the top row:
Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, D-lo Brown, Test, and Shane Mcmahon
The bottom Row:
Undertaker, Edge, Ugh this one is driving me nuts, I can't figure out who it is, but I am going to go out on a limb and say it is another model of the Undertaker , and the Wildman Marc Mero.
My old favorite was the Ken Shamrock face. His face seriously looked liek that of a 75 year old man.
Any reason why you made a custom Kane? They released a real version if I am not mistaken.
Anyway, Thanks for the trip down memory lane.
-Bryce
Thanks for reading, Bryce. Seven out of eight! (Missed on number seven, btw). Yes, the original Shamrock figure was laughable. All doughy and grey-looking... just a poor likeness, really. Later variants would borrow The Rock's leg and torso sculpt with a new Ken-tastic face, which was also a bit of a trainwreck!
And yes, WWF made a Kane some years later as part of their first "Corporation" line (Superstars series 7 or 8, I believe it was -- but don't quote Mee on that!). Still, I was jonesin' for some Big Red Machine from the word "go," and so Mankind 1.0 was sacrificed for the betterment of the collection.
Hey John,
Usually don't put my two cents in but I had to take your little rubber wrestler challenge. From left to right starting in the top row:
Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, D-Lo, Test, Shane McMahon
Undertaker, Edge, Diesel, "Wildman" Marc Mero
Given a couple of minutes I could probably name every wrestler in your little battle scene there too. And I have that same half a Vader, Shawn Michaels legs and Marc Mero's hand that you have…my guys heads always seem to fall off…to many Tiger Driver 91's I guess.
The best part about keeping those around - I have a ten year old so I have a great excuse for frequent rubber wrestler battles.
Chad Morton
Solid work, Chad. Seven for eight for you as well (yup, missed on numero seven-o)! You're not kiddin' about the Tiger Drivers claiming more than a few action figure victims, man. I've also found that Moonsaults (go figure) and Trees of Woe were a bitch for plastic superstars, as well. Anyhow - SOOO cool that your little guy gets to enjoy the leftovers of your fandom! It's always good to see wrestling appreciation passed on through generations (hey, that's how I got hooked!) -- and it's even cooler that you've still got an excuse to keep playing with your collection!
Hey, Enjoy your columns and a fine wrestling fan reppin Jersey........
Anywho....I've owened those figures myself LoL...Memories.......And just as a side note.....Some WCW Toybiz figures weren't that bad but yes, they did have odd looking ones at that, remember the Lex Luger "Mr. Ed" face figure?....
Justin Hawk Bradshaw
D-Lo Brown
Test
Shane McMahon
Undertaker
Edge
X-Pac w.o. glasses
Wildman Marc Mero
There ya have it.
- Rat3dR5uper5tar
A flawless top row, but the Achilles' Heel bottom row Superstar tripped you up dude. Seven out of eight!
AND NOW FOR THE WINNERS, WITH PERFECT EIGHT-FOR-EIGHT SUBMISSIONS!
John...
I think I can nail all eight pictures from your column....
Here we go (From left to right, top row first.......)
Just "Hawk" Bradshaw
D' Lo Brown
Test
Shane O' Mac
Undertaker
Edge (It may have been Christian...I HAD BOTH!!!!)
Al Snow
Marc "Wildman" Mero
How did I do?
-Ben Clark
Superior effort, my friend. It would appear that you're in select company in naming all eight correctly! More on that after Bryan shows us his skillz below:
I know all 8
Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, D-lo Brown, Test, Shane Mcmahon, Undertaker, Edge, Al Snow, Marc Mero.
- Bryan
DING DING DING!!! We have a winner! Nicely done, Bryan. You've got 'em all pegged perfectly. Just one more in the elite three:
Hey Fellow Jerseyite
Love your columns, sorry I never write, but it was too good a one to pass up, as the figures you showed in your 9/5 column are:
1) Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw
2) D-Lo Brown
3) Test
4) Shane McMahon (looking like a VERY young Ronald Reagan
5) Undertaker
6) Edge
7) Al Snow
8) Marc Mero
I have all of them, I think. Trying to unload them. I kept all the boxes they came in, now just trying to find pics on-line so I can match them up with all the right accessories and Ebay them off.
Surely I'm not the only 1 who got them all…
Anyway, your columns are always great, keep up the wonderful job you're doing!
- Jim Moore
Brilliantly executed, Jim. And smart move on that eBay accessory search! Good luck with that dude!
What we're looking at was...
Row One (left to right) Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw - To my knowledge, the only Jakks figure (of this type) of his ever released. D'Lo Brown - From an "In Your House" series late in the run, during his post-Nation days. Came with a swank yellow boombox! Test - An angry lookin' chipmunk, no? His first figure... came wearing black leather pants and with a push-broom accessory. Shane McMahon - The Boy Wonder, definitely looking like the Gipper, and donning his velcro-on "X-Punk" jersey.
Row Two(left to right) Undertaker 2.0 - Came with a miniature shovel, and didn't glow in the dark (unlike that Frenchie-looking, purple-tie wearing first sculpt of his) Edge - this was his first figure as well, and *not* the "signature series" one, believe it or not! Al Snow - Ahh, the Snowman. This was a Wal-Mart exclusive, prior to their banning of all Al Snow toys some years later (no joke). "The Wildman" Marc Mero - Came in a manager's two-pack with Sable by his side. And yes, his hand fell off...
And With That, I'm Outta' Here…
Sorry to have thrown y'all a curveball with this week's column when I'm sure many of you might have been expecting further Mee-adventures through that big old 28-gallon rubber tub. More action figure exploits next week, honest — as we're going OLD SCHOOL through the six-inch Hasbro years of WWF's plastic goodness! Till then — take it easy, enjoy football season (the JETS? Oh man we've SO got them beat!), and always stay positive!
