The Week In Hardcore 9.16.06
Posted by Sam Caplan on 09.16.2006
Another week come and gone in the Extreme Third Brand, but what transpired? TV results and analysis, backstage news, and this week's ECW Top Five...inside!
ECW On Sci-Fi Results: 9/12/2006 from New York City, New York (1.9 Rating)
-Rob Van Dam defeated Hardcore Holly by DQ (4:49)
-CM Punk defeated Shannon Moore via submission (1:49)
-Rene Dupree pinned Balls Mahoney (3:25)
-ECW Champion Big Show pinned Sabu in an Extreme Rules Match (8:36)
Storyline Developments
-Paul Heyman marks out over bringing ECW to Madison Square Garden, and is happy about selling out to Vince McMahon to get ECW here instead of listening to the fans, a line of thinking that put him out of business five years ago. Sabu comes out and messes up the Rent-A-Bashams, and Heyman announces that tonight's main event will be Big Show defending the ECW Title against Sabu under Extreme Rules.
-The Van Dam-Holly match ended in a DQ when Stevie Richards, Test, and Mike Knox run in and attack Van Dam because Holly said if they did, he'd lend them some of his porno movies. Tommy Dreamer and Sandman make the save because they're devout, anti-pornography Christians, then beat up Stevie Richards because they think he's gay.
-CM Punk is backstage receiving praise from the Ceiling Admiration Association after his win over Moore, and Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly tells Punk to fuck her because she's 19 and has never seen a penis before. Punk is about to jerk off on her face when Mike Knox drags her away by the hair and make her watch Hardcore Holly's porno movies with him. Punk is just all "yeah, whatever."
-Kevin Thorne threw Balls Mahoney into the stairs and cost him his match. That's really all there is to say about it.
-This week's Matt Striker Speech Translation: he thinks we're all lamers because we get drunk and enjoy Sandman's entrance. Yeah, doesn't say much about a guy when nobody cares about him without his stupid entrance music, does it?
ECW Top Five (As voted by...ME!)
All rankings are based on what happens on TV. House shows do not count. If it didn't happen on TV, it didn't happen.
ECW Champion: Big Show
1)CM Punk: Hey, he squashed Shannon Moore after weeks of crappy promos, and is the only guy winning consistently in ECW, although this ranking is more a result of everybody else's poor record than his own accomplishments.
2)Rob Van Dam: Another DQ ending with Hardcore Holly, but seems a bit stuck on the treadmill.
3)Hardcore Holly: Has had two matches with Van Dam, but has yet to actually be beaten by him.
4)Rene Dupree: Successful debut in which he looked good and was definitely getting some great heel heat, but where does he go from here?
5)Matt Striker: This guy can talk. Let's hope he still can after his feud with the Sandman.
Hardcore Backstage News
Brad Armstrong has been signed to work in ECW, mostly to work with the younger wrestlers and help them develop. [pwinsider.com]
I don't know what to think of this one...WWE has historically done well with guys that WCW totally misused, but Brad's pushing 50, if he isn't there already. There's no doubt he's not the worker he used to be, but I'll be interested to see what he does bring to the table when he gets in the ring and whether he'll join the Ceiling Admiration Association.
ECW On Sci-Fi pulled a 1.9 rating this week, with the highest segment beign a 2.2 overrun. [pwinsider.com]
Hurtin'. I believe that this is ECW On Sci-Fi's lowest rating yet. While I'm sure that Raw's low viewership can be partly to blame for this, two weeks of filler thrown together to kill time until after Unforgiven is over can do that to a respectable rating.
Wow, light news week, huh?
Vital Social Issues N' Stuff With Stuart
First, thanks to Kelly Bundy for the new title for this section. It's very late now, and I'm completely shot, but I want to talk about the ROH show last night in Connecticut. I won't step on Ari's toes and go in depth, but it was a very unusual show because it was held outside under a tent. From what I got from the EMT, the fire marshal wouldn't let so many people inside, so they had to do it under a tent. As a manic wrestling fan, I've been to TV tapings, house shows, I've been to a show at Madison Square Garden, I've been to a PPV, I've seen major titles change hands, I've been to three wrestling shows in the space of a week, double shot weekends, I was at both the Kobashi-ROH shows, I've met Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels, and Bruno Sammartino, I've got two wrestling columns, and I've even been on one of Mike Johnson's bus trips, but I think being at a show under a tent completes the collection until I get to Wrestlemania. It was pouring out and people were getting soaked, the roof of the tent was prohibitively low, but the show was fucking awesome, way better than what I'd expect out of a show in one of ROH's "fringe markets". I can't wait to go to the Manhattan Center debut, but will KENTA take the title? I hope not, but I don't think they can't with Danielson being injured and all.
Extremist Of The Week: CM Punk
For the second week in a row, he becomes Extremist Of The Week simply for beating the shit out of Shannon Moore. The match was a complete squash, Moore didn't get in one bit of offense, and Punk is the man once again, getting the pop of the night in the process. Being offered jigglies by Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly Kelly only adds to his current status as the coolest guy in ECW. He is so the man.
Mike LaFave tries to do the impossible by getting Shannon Moore over.
In this week's Fact Or Fiction, Steve Cook and Ronny Sarnecky discuss ECW Titles, specifically whether CM Punk will ever win the ECW World Title and whether the other titles should be brought back.
I respond to a bunch of reader feedback in this week's That Was Then.
However, Michael Weyer seems to get more feedback than I do, and he answers it after profiling the career of Booker T in this week's Shining A Spotlight.
Extreme Outlook
CM Punk has squashed another jobber, but who's next?
Matt Striker has shown that he may be smarter than the Sandman, but has either sneak attacked or run from him up to this point. What will happen when they wind up in the ring against one another?
Will Hardcore Holly be able to pull himself away from his porno movies long enough to have a pinfall or submission ending to a match with Rob Van Dam?
After now losing a third match to the Big Show, what's next for Sabu? I doubt he'll get another title shot for a while, so who will he feud with? Rene Dupree, who debuted this week, perhaps? That ought to be entertaining.
Kevin Thorne continues to pick on Balls Mahoney, but if there's one guy on the roster who can match power with Thorne, it would be Mahoney. Will Balls do the job, or will he be the first person to put Thorne's shoulders to the mat?
Banging Out
Sorry if this was short and crappy this week, but I'm totally destroyed after the 5 hours spent driving to and from the ROH show in Connecticut. I need sleep so I can be ready for the NYC show tonight. Thanks all, and see you next week. Stuart "F'N" Carapola...out.
All feedback can be directed to stuwrestling@hotmail.com
