Evolution Schematic 09.19.06: CM Punk

Posted by Mathew Sforcina on 09.19.2006

Straight To The Point. The Point Of Edgyness.

Overview

Sometimes this job is pretty easy. I mean, the goal here is to explain a person (or match, or belt) throughout their entire career, to show how seemingly opposites and inconsistencies are in fact different shades of the same tapestry. With some people, like JBL, HHH or Kane, it can be slightly hard.

And then, you have guys like CM Punk. Who don't really need to be ‘explained' as such. Since day 1, since the moment CM stepped into a ring, he's been the same guy.

The straight edge WWE fan who is THAT much better than everyone else. Just ask him.

So, this time round, we're doing an Evolution Schematic more for those who don't really know much about this new Major Threat in ECW. Here now, is a look back at the short, but jam packed career of CM Punk.

Grab a Pepsi, and enjoy.

Origins- Welcome to Chicago, Motherfucker.

Ever since CM was a little kid named Phil Brooks, he wanted to be a wrestler. That seems to happen a lot, at least with those we deal with in this column. Since he grew up on the actually-quite-cute-and-cuddly-once-you-get-to-know-them streets of Chicago, this was a goal that was not that unobtainable. Although his first steps, as a young teenager, could have ended said dreams.

Debut- Lunatic Wrestling Federation: Where they put the "Lunatic" in "Backyard Wrestling is for Lunatics."

In the mid 90's, Brooks began messing about in his backyard, with some of his pals, in the LWF. Luckily for us, Brooks didn't end up killing himself by jumping off something insanely high as the company name might suggest, but he did rise up and realize that he was A) better than everyone else and B) that he was actually good at wrestling, comparatively. Hence, while he friends and buddies went off and got jobs in fast food joints and what have you, he seeked out a trainer, taking only 2 things from that backyard fed.

His straight edge lifestyle, which had begun by accident in 1981 when hardcore punk band Minor Threat wrote a song based on various ideas, movements and concepts floating around the Washington DC night scene, the song called, oddly enough, "Straight Edge". The lifestyle meant no tobacco, no alcohol, and no recreational drugs (although that kinda includes the previous two). Some people also took it one step further and also denied themselves painkillers, any sort of drug including caffeine, no promiscuous sex and no animal products. As evident by Punk's shoulder tattoo, he doesn't go that far, although he does deny himself painkillers.

And the other thing he took from that little company that couldn't was a name. CM Punk. The CM might stand for "Chick Magnet", one of the stables Brooks was a member of in the LWF. It might stand for "Chuck Mosley", former lead singer of Faith No More, now chef. However, now it stands for "2 letters that sound cool together", since any attempt to find out what the letters mean gets a new, totally different answer.

So, with a name, and a lifestyle, Punk nee Brooks set out to find someone to teach him how to be a wrestler. Instead, he found some guys who beat him up. A lot.

Phase 2- Steel Domain: Where they put the "Ace and Danny" in "Please Ace and Danny, stop hurting me!"

Punk found the Steel Domain School, run by Ace Steel and Danny Dominion, with occasional help from Kevin Quinn. There, they set about turning the backyard warrior into a real one, by systematically hurting him by making him do move after move after move, then take said move a few dozen times.

Standard Pro Wrestling training, really.

While he learnt, he also wrestled in the school's fed, the (imaginatively named) Steel Domain Wrestling. During this time he got together with a bunch of other young upstart newbies as The Goonies, which involved him dressing up in a costume in order to be uniform with the rest of them and make a pop culture reference.

Maybe he should have sworn off "Looking Stupid" as well.

Phase 2b- Colt Cabana: Where…wait, he's a person, not a place. Never mind.

It was at this point, in late 2000, that Punk first met the man who would go on to become Colt Cabana, when he was trained by Steel and Quinn. The two quickly formed a bond, teaming and fighting each other across the Chicago area in any ring that would have them, their abilities as a team matched for their desire to just beat that smug self-satisfaction out of the other one.

Eventually, the two found a home, a company that they could use as their base while they continued to team, fight and drink copious amounts of the #2 brand of soft drink.

Phase 3- IWA: M-S: Where they put the "Independent" in "Top Indy Fed".

The Independent Wrestling Association: Mid-South company Punk decided to call home, possibly because he respected their straight-forward attitude to truth in advertising. He and Colt (as he had begun calling himself, since Punk's re-branding seemed to work so well) formed a stable, along with Chuck E. Smoothe (Tastes Great With Last Night's Beer!), Adam Pearce (Great For What Is Bothering Eve!) and manager Dave Prazak (Some Sort Of Really Bad Pun Here!), calling themselves the Gold Bond Mafia, which shows just where Punk draws the line between drugs he will take (like Pepsi) and those he won't (painkillers he should have taken after Reckless Youth almost cracked his skull open).

It was in this company that his stock rose, thanks to major problems with Colt Cabana once the GBM broke up, and also with fellow up and coming superstar to be Chris Hero. In 2001 he won the IWA: MS Light Heavyweight title twice, first beating Mark Wolf, losing it, then regaining it from Tarek The Great, who apparently wasn't.

Then in December of 2001 he stepped up to the plate, and won the Heavyweight belt off Chris Hero. He would hold it for a while, losing it for one day to Eddie Guerrero in a three way with Rey Mysterio before winning it back the next day, then losing it to Colt Cabana in another three way with Eddie in April 2002. But before he would win it again, he made his first attempt to rise up the ranks.

Phase 4- NWA:TNA (Take 1): Where they put the "Cut" in "Action!"

His mentor and trainer Ace Steel called upon CM to help him tackled the NWA:TNA world that had just opened up. They tagged in September on a TNA Weekly PPV, the 12th to be exact, and while they were somewhat successful, the duo didn't work out and Punk returned to the Indys for a bit longer.

Phase 4b- Back to the Grindstone: Where…oh forget it.

He went back to what he knew best, winning the IWA:MS Title off M-Dogg 20 in a Gauntlet match. He would then lose the belt a week later in the Ted Petty Invitational tournament to BJ Whitmer in the final. Despite this, an old friend/ally/enemy called him up, and once again, Punk made a move to a bigger pond.

Phase 5- ROH: Where they put the "Honor" in "Honest To God, he hit this impossible move!"

While he continued to battle for the IWA:MS title, Colt managed to get Punk a shot in ROH. And while his first couple of matches didn't go so well, after regaining the IWA:MS title, he gained some confidence and won an "ROH Contract" match against Colt in late 2002, and began to wrestle for the company full time, sorta.

Then, after losing the IWA:MS title to Chris Hero in a 93 minute (yes, ninety-three minute) two out of three falls match, he left that company since he felt they weren't treating some people right. He wouldn't return to the company for a year, but then in that year, he lived two lives.

Phase 6- ROH/TNA: "I Hate Raven!" "I Love Raven!"

In ROH, he had started off as a guy the fans liked, but quickly they tired of his holier then thou attitude and he was hated by them. And in ROH was a guy called Raven, who the fans loved, and who had a long history of drug taking and other non-Straight Edge type behaviour.

Ergo, the two had to cross paths sooner or later. It turned out to be sooner, as 2003 got rolling, the two began to battle, Punk claiming Raven didn't deserve or belong in an ROH ring. Sounds fair and reasonable, right?

But then, in TNA, Punk, along with Julio Dinero and Alexis Laree, was quite clearly a Raven fan boy, and part of the Gathering. How does that work, you may well ask.

Well, it's a matter of ponds really. Punk knew that he was a big fish in ROH, and a small fish in TNA. Hence, while in ROH he could stretch out, relax, and assert himself, attacking Raven and trying to drive him out of ROH, in TNA he knew he was, at the time, out of his league. Hence, he needed to find someone to latch on to while he developed and learnt. And he did know all about Raven. So he was willing to swallow his pride, if not his beliefs, for a while. It says something about Raven that he was also willing to go along with this double standard.

But eventually in TNA the cookie crumbled, Punk converted Julio, turned on Raven, and now they were enemies everywhere, The Gathering in TNA with James Mitchell leading them, and in ROH…The Second City Saints.

Phase 6b- The Second City Saints: Putting the "Kick Ass" in "Chicago". I don't get it either.

Punk, sensing that Raven was getting the upper hand in ROH, called on some old allies and formed the Second City Saints, himself, Colt Cabana and Ace Steel. The name came from the fact they were all Chicago natives. And the trio (along with a couple of valets) were very dominating, winning the tag titles (Punk and Cabana), beating down Raven, the works. And Punk ended up winning the final match in the ROH Raven/Punk wars, defeating Raven in their second steel cage match (after competing in the first ever one in ROH together).

But the group stayed together, even while Punk ended his association with TNA in April 2004 after getting nowhere, returning to IWA:MS and focusing more on ROH, where, after some wars between the Saints and the Embassy, and then a war against the Prophecy (that included Punk taking Christopher Daniels out of ROH for a long time), another major name from the past stepped up to write a new chapter in Punk's war log.

Phase 7- Punk vs. Steamboat: New vs. Old, Disrespect vs. Tradition, Drug Free vs. Dragon.

Ricky Steamboat had been guest referee in a ROH Pure Title match between then champ AJ Styles and Punk.

Punk lost.

Punk blames Steamboat.

Steamboat tries to show Punk error of his ways.

Punk responds by slapping Steamboat around a bit.

Steamboat responds in kind.

Continue for several months.

During this time Punk was all over the place, making a name for himself, winning over the internet (that is, a good section of it, thus alienating another section of it), and generally acting like a prick, all in the name of Straight Edgy Ness.

It was during this period when the first Punk vs. Joe match, a 60 minute time limit draw occurred on June 12th, 2004. Fans demanded more. But before they could get it, the Saints went through a change. For on July 24th, Steamboat and Punk had their final confrontation. Steamboat was sick of sending guys after Punk, of attacking Punk, of trying to show him the error of his ways. So he gave Punk a challenge to "Become the Man he knows he can be". He got this chance very quickly as Generation Next; a group of young punks looking to advance (without the silly outfits) attacked Steamboat in an attempt to make a name for themselves. Punk looked deep within his soul, and helped Steamboat out, winning over the fans.

Phase 8- Punk & Steamboat: The new era of arm drags.

And to their credit, the Saints quickly adjusted to their leader's change of heart, Cabana and Steel also embracing the fans, and the fans embraced them too. With this new attitude to the fans, Punk got another chance at the ROH World Title and Samoa Joe and the Joe vs. Punk II event in his home town, where he again fought to a 60 minute draw. Their final match in the trilogy occurred at the end of the year, in a no time limit match. Alas, Punk went too hard too fast, and the 93 minute match veteran went down in 31 minutes.

But Punk had his hands full, fighting off Generation Next, trying to win back the ROH Tag Titles, all the while training at ROH's school in order to pay the bills. From Generation Next Punk moved to The Embassy, as the Saints were slowly and quietly disbanded, although he would team with Colt occasionally, Bobby Heenan began to manage Punk and he almost lost tattoos to a cheese grater at the hands of Prince Nana of said Embassy. But Punk eventually got the last laugh, pinning Jimmy Rave (The Embassy's #1 man) in a cage match. And then, he announced he had signed on with the WWE.

And then the Pepsi REALLY hit the fan.

Phase 9- CM Punk, WWE's ROH Champion: Putting "Ha-Ha!" in "I'm stealing your belt!

For Punk, after announcing his departure for the WWE, had a few contracted matches to go with ROH. And one of them was an ROH Title match against Austin Aries of Generation Next. The fans treated it as a farewell match of sorts, lots of chants and well wishes and such. And then to the shock of all, Punk won the match and the title.

There was much rejoicing.

And then Punk got a microphone. And he called the fans suckers for believing in him. And reminded them that he was pure, they were not. And that the ROH title was now the most important belt in the world, because he held it.

Basically, he reminded everyone of why he had hated them and vice versa. And when people remembered, they were PISSED OFF. Punk running away from Christopher Daniels' return to ROH didn't help matters.

The Punk Farewell Tour gained steam, as Punk taunted the fans and his fellow wrestlers that he was going to lay the ROH Title at Vince McMahon's feet, signing his WWE Contract on the belt, ignoring Mick Foley's requests to "Do The Right Thing" and defend the belt. Punk responded by challenging men he knew weren't in the building, alienating Colt Cabana, and basically acting like…himself.

But eventually his mouth caught up with him, and Irony raised its fist by having James Gibson, a man who had recently left the WWE (now back with them, once again going by the name of Jamie Noble) be the one to unseat Punk as champion with one night to go.

After a 2/3 falls loss to Colt Cabana the following night, Punk was gone from ROH and into the WWE.

Kinda.

Phase 10- OVW: Putting the "Rotation Crop Method" in "Farm League".

For all his talking and bragging, for all his desire to finally get to the WWE, the company he had loved as a kid, at first, the WWE didn't know what to do with Punk. So, they gave him to Ohio Valley Wrestling, a company they often give people they don't know what to do with. Punk knew he had to prove himself all over again, so he dropped his head and worked hard, especially after his first match caused him a ruptured eardrum and a broken nose thanks to Danny "Sex Machine" Inferno. However Punk was no stranger to new ponds, and he worked hard, being Straight Edge giving him an…advantage over the other wrestlers.

This edge got him the OVW TV title in November of 2005, about the time he starting dating Maria. Whereas no-one was challenging him for Maria, someone was challenging him for the TV title, Brent Albright who had been fighting with the last champion, Kenny Doane.

The fans were at first on the side of Brent, but eventually his desire to get the belt cost both of them the title (Aaron Stevens being the lucky guy who, via several lucky chances, won the belt in a 3 way match), and then, in a tag match with Punk and Brent forced to team against the Spirit Squad, Brent left Punk out to dry, turning the fans against Brent and towards Punk.

Things only escalated when Brent won the OVW Heavyweight Title by beating Punk in the finals of the tournament (caused by Matt Cappotelli vacating the belt due to a brain tumor), and Brent's already fragile mind became more desperate. He went to further and further lengths to keep his belt, even going as far as to threaten Maria. But eventually, Punk got a strap match against Brent for the title, and won it on May 3rd, 2006.

After several successful defenses, he then won the OVW tag titles with Seth Skyfire. This was, however, the beginning of the end, as shortly afterwards they lost the belts, began to feud, and then Punk lost the Heavyweight title to Chet The Jet who replaced an injured Seth.

But luckily for Punk, he had already taken the first steps on his new path. The Path of Extreme.

Today- ECW. ECW. ECW.

For he had already signed on to Paul Heyman's new ECW, and was hyping himself up for his debut. So far, he is undefeated in ECW, and might indeed be so for quite a while longer, now that he doesn't have to worry about OVW. For now, ECW has its Edge. And it's very, very straight.

Overview

Yes, he's a self-obsessed, arrogant, holier than everyone bastard who acts like he's superior to us all just because he can't handle moderation.

And yet, we love him for it.

Funny that.