Story Lines 09.24.06: It's True It's True
Posted by Mike Hamflett on 09.24.2006
Featuring hair, a happy marriage, 3 I's, and a career without a single hiccup. Who needs an violent gum-shield weilding shit kicker who slaps retards about and hates black people anyway?
Prologue
Shawn Stasiak. The son of a fantastically overrated old-timer, fresh off the back of a demeaning cash vacuum character known as Meat, Shawn Stasiak was the perfect choice. He'd been through the ringer in his short time with Vince McMahon, but right now, he was finally given a role that suited him down to the ground. He was the first utterly useless bastard who almost gained some credibility because of one man. He most definitely would not be the last.
Because, despite being from a whole different world, and despite the fact he was making his Pay-Per-View debut, Kurt Angle was already a phenom. Admittedly, he was helped along by an astonishingly good bit of foresight on the part of Vince McMahon, but regardless of what the idea written for him was, it was all on this stranger in a strange land to do the business once the cameras were on. He took to it instantly, professionally, and with the highest of standards. From the opening bell, it was a joy to watch. But then, that's just been Kurt Angle.
To the shocking and untimely last (for now) bell tolled in 2006, Kurt Angle was as good as perfect as anyone that had ever set foot in a ring. From that star-making moment in November 1999, he seemed to thrive on giving 400% in EVERY single aspect of being a wrestler, being an entertainer, in short, being a WWF/E Superstar. Rather than rebel against the dirty ‘S' like so many 90s purists and 00s bitter kids (sometimes referred to as ‘ROH Workers'), Kurt Angle understood that to be the absolute best, you have to be the best at EVERYTHING. And to him, that was the only goal. He looked at guys like Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, and (at that time) Triple H, and saw therein guys who used holds and moves, as well as killer psychology to write a story between the ropes. But his desire to climb every Sports Entertainment mountain forced his focus elsewhere too. He looked to The Rock, Hulk Hogan, Steve Austin and even Vince McMahon himself, as people who could whip the crowd into a frenzy with character-driven promos, reactions and histrionics. He wanted it all, and would have considered it failure to not become the new benchmark in wrestling. Arguably the last guy to set that standard was The Greatest himself, Ric Flair. Angle wanted that. He worked for it. And with what looked like the greatest of ease, he took it.
However, for all the incredible moments he produced, the bottom line was, he really was just making it look easy. As the years rolled on, it just got harder and harder. He seemed to grow and shrink at ridiculous speeds, implying either that he was on something he shouldn't have been, or was simply rehabbing old injuries and working through the pain so hard he would bulk, and then force it off until the next time. His private life fell apart, and many say his mental state drastically changed. He refused to accept that his body had severely broken down, and continued to mask any discomfort he suffered with endless, completely endless, streams of outstanding matches. So while it would still be considered an enormous shock, it was assbackwardly expected that Kurt Angle would have to call time on things. Even if it was a temporary move to sort everything out. Six and a half amazing years in, his WWE career was put on hold. One day, most would like to think he'd be back, and it's likely that once any forays into MMA and the like end, his hunger will leave no option but to come back to the sport that makes him so alive, and yet will probably kill him. As fans, we owe Kurt a hell of a lot, because he gave it all to us. He got a lot back too. A King of the Ring, some serious silverware, a Wrestlemania main event or two, and yep, a cushy book deal to tell his story. So how did he tell it?
Kurt Angle: It's True It's True
Subject: The ghost-written autobiography of Kurt Angle. Release Date: November 2001
In the first column, I discussed how the folks behind the WWE books got a little bit overexcited after the monumental success of Mick Foley's first effort. Printed words started printing money, and that spoke faster than any wrestler had the time to dictate their life to a ghost-writer. So in the search for the next quick book, it made sense that the WWE would turn to Kurt Angle. Unlike a lot of the (relatively) young guys in the business, he, even without the Sports Entertainment chapter, warranted a book already. Only a select few walking the earth own an Olympic Gold Medal, and even fewer win said medal with a broken neck. As your run-of-the-mill American hero, there was an easy tie in to spunk out a few thousand words about his quest for glory, culminating in that amazing night in Atlanta.
But, and this is a big but, ultimately, the book was released through the World Wrestling Federation, which, when marketing its books, pushes the pages to the viewers and consumers of the WWF/E's product. What that creates is a pro wrestler's autobiography that has a larger section for his life pre-WWE. While this doesn't negate the potential quality of the book overall, it anchors it somewhat, making the initial 70% a bit of a mountain to climb, when what you'd really really love to read about are his wrestling tales.
Of course, that's only my assumption. I couldn't care less about amateur wrestling, or the training that goes into it, or the various stages of achievement within its system. That's not to say Angle's stories aren't entertaining, and discussion of said moments in his storied career are enjoyable and perfectly readable. For a fan of amateur wrestling, I dare say some of these anecdotes are absolutely engaging, and in some cases, really revealing. Again, the problem lies not in the details of Angle's life, but the audience who is indulging in it.
This also forms a problem when it comes to one of the best things about most wrestling autobiographies. See, knowing that a guy actually makes it in the business (or at least, you would think, seeing as he has a book and all), its great to read about how they suffered on the road, the camaraderie with other wrestlers and the respect they gained from it when the reached the pinnacle. And while this features strongly in other parts of the book, this does not come across in Angle's career. He discusses his time in the feeders as a slog, and no doubt it was, but like pretty much everything else he did, he was a natural and needed very little progression before the WWF's self-made star factory decided it was time for the big leagues.
That's another biting issue about the book. Pretty much from as soon as he could play sports, it seems clear that Kurt was a freakishly good natural athlete. But man, does he know it. I'm sure that's what motivates him to become the amazing entertainer he is to all of us, so I would always nurture it, but at times it's just a little tough to stick with. At times the book reads like one of his early promos, talking about how good he was with this, or how great his work was in this. I guess there's no middle ground with Angle, as it's his own greatness that forces him to get even greater still, and talking like that is the only way he can do that, but for a reader, it can grate a touch.
What's interesting about the whole read though, is that Kurt has had some pretty big ups and down along the way. A really early punch in the stomach is discussion on the loss of his dad when he was young. Initially a touching and endearing paragraph, the honesty of his father's problem with drink cuts like a knife, and adds genuine hurt and reality to the sometimes over-glamorized account of someone's death. It's slightly unnerving to read, but no less relevant, and serves as a good insight into one of the little things that made Kurt Angle just who he is.
Spliced in with the various tales from his amateur careers, are the detailed descriptions of his absolutely brutal training regimes. It makes for unbelievable reading to consider what this man did to get his body beyond the point of no return. As the ruthlessly focused athlete he was, he talks like it was only a small challenge, but the feats to which he went to need to be read to be believed. After he was told the Olympics would be a push, his neck rehab, and the risks he took in doing so are insane, but completely inspiring. It's a good look at Kurt Angle the man, and a timely reminder of just why he probably trimmed twenty years off his life through the need to be the best. This is especially difficult with five years hindsight, as the beating he has given himself has finally caught up, causing his WWE exit, and (Christ lets hope not) a potentially suicidal career in MMA.
And this of course, leads to what cannot be a criticism, but a regret at this stage. As stated above, it made perfect sense for Kurt Angle to get the book treatment. Even without his amateur career, his meteoric rise in the WWF was a fairly keen story in itself. But for all that has happened since then, especially with the news of his devastating departure still fresh in most fans minds, there's the underlying feeling that there's a better book to be written. A good way of maybe doing this should Angle and Vince mend fences would maybe be an add-on, a sort of story since then. As two of my friends (Michael Allison and Rob Samuels both get a mention, on the grounds they pretty much said it instantly when I mentioned the idea), ‘It's Damn True' would be a great title for the update, and could cover everything, from his accidental transition to ass-kicking babyface and work with Steve Austin in 2001, his career heights reached in 2002 where through amazing match after amazing match he ascended to Ric Flair levels of greatness, a 2003 littered with phenomenal contest with his amateur counterpart Brock Lesnar, the pain of fighting through an injury prone 2004, settling into the tweener shit-kicker he became in 2005, and a final world title run and the ECW side of 2006, Angle has been a major deal every year. Not to mention the ups and downs of his personal life, such as becoming a father to two children, the breakdown/rebuilding of his marriage, his ascent to locker room leader and ultimately the personal and professional breakdown that has temporarily halted his Sports Entertainment career. There's so so so much left to be heard from him, that It's True It's True becomes one of the most frustratingly unfinished books you could ever read.
In all honesty, Kurt Angle's autobiography should be read not as a career tell-all, but as a nostalgic look at an amazing time for the WWF, and the amazing desire and will to win of an inspirational performer. It sometimes doesn't go deep enough, and rarely does Angle expose weakness. But in a way, only recently have we seen the full extent of the biggest weakness of all. He can't turn away from competition. Every man needs humility and to know when enough is enough, and when Kurt Angle finally does, the remainder of his tales will be a joy to read. Until then, this story so far will just have to do.
Shorthand
Worst Bit: Kurt's politically correct way of discussing why the ultra-hot and super fantastic Kurt/HHH/Steph storyline ended so prematurely. I think it's safe to say one of the most engaging angles of all time ended because one man got too nervous about his character shift to make money, but Kurt amazingly puts a sickly sweet gloss on the situation.
Best Bit: The blow by blow account of his Olympic victory is genuinely inspiring, and really questions whether all this Sports Entertainment shit was even worth it, considering the heights he was already at. In the same way though, it only serves to show just how far he was willing to drop to make it to the top of something else. Sad, in a way, as he may never be satisfied, but deeply moving all the same.
Buy It, Borrow It, Bin It: Buy it if you find it really cheap, but borrowing it's a safe bet. Waste a journey or kill a day with it, but don't expect to be knocked off your feet, that's all.
