Story Lines: Sex, Lies & Headlocks 10.01.06: The Real Story of Vince McMahon and The World Wrestling Federation
Posted by Mike Hamflett on 10.01.2006
When he's not busy selling drugs to disabled children, Vince McMahon shoots kittens. In the eyes.
So let's review. In my debut (and possible last for a while) attempt at Wrestler of the Week, I decided to rule out the TNA PPV in picking my choices, and to be honest, I don't regret it. I don't get to actually watch the product, and writing based on what I read is not my thing. But, in a rather incredible shock, Kurt Angle was the man who turned out to be their big surprise, actually for a change paying off that kind of statement. The very Kurt Angle who's autobiography I profiled here last week. Incredibly astute or just plain lucky? The latter I'm afraid. I'm glad he's not going to into MMA at least, and I love that this felt massive in terms of TNA's chances of rivalling WWE, but I wish he'd make some better choices and quit for a short while. Ultimately he knows best, and if he's gone in a year, he died doing what he loved. It may be wrong to just sit back and accept that, but it's not like he's going to listen to anyone anyway is it? Let's just hope he's not laying down for Triple J in two months. I think that's more than enough Angle for the week anyway, on with the column.
Prologue
Amazingly, the whole world doesn't love Vince McMahon. I was shocked too. Despite the fact that he was one of the leading men to bring us a product we could all fall in love with, he is not always the world's most popular man. Far from it, in fact he has been known to breed a good degree of dislike from some circles. Why, one look at the new two-disc DVD set (yes, a two-disc DVD set) on him will do nothing to appease those that care not for the book of McMahonism.
In the ruthless and cutthroat way he has built his wrestling empire, Vince McMahon has had to make many difficult choices, often destroying careers and lives along the way, believing that ultimately, it will be for the greater good. That greater good being his wallet. And why not? He's a business man, and as his one-time archrival Eric Bischoff once said, who wants to run a business that is losing money?
But the thing is, it's a good 25 years since Vinnie bought Daddy's company and turned into the multimedia conglomerate that exists today under the much-maligned WWE banner. And through that breathless 25 year ascent, there have been many scandals and stories that threatened to tear down the foundations Vincent K had built around him.
Despite the often-very public nature of the difficulties, Vince battles on, his head only getting bigger as he goes. One story gets swept under the rug, and he moves on, seemingly unscathed. But of course, this is not entirely possible. All the cracks along the way are documented. And sooner or later, there is a chance to mount a case against the Boss, quite a substantial case too. Certainly, no man who walks the streets is without sin, but some have actually acquired a lot more than others, and allegedly (Hi lawyers!) Vince McMahon Jnr is one of those men. Given the right research, the right results and the right attitude, someone could probably write a book. And eventually, two men would.
Sex, Lies & Headlocks: The Real Story of Vince McMahon and The World Wrestling Federation
Subject: An abridged history of the Wrestling business, stopping to focus on McMahon and the WWF/E, by Shaun Assael and Mike Mooneyham Release Date: July 2002
Make no mistake about it, this kind of book did need writing. There are so many stories interwoven into the chapters within these pages that required some sort of lynchpin with which to connect them all. In a way, the format of the book exposes just how incestuous the wrestling business can be, especially during the territory days and the constant upheavals of WCW in the late-80s/early-90s. Grudges would be cast aside if the people pulling the strings genuinely believed there was money to be made, and often faces would pop up again and again under different banners.
Which is what made Vince McMahon's story all the more interesting. He always flew one flag, and that was his own. From the moment he took the reigns from his father, he knew that the time for compromise was over. There was some real cash to be had from the family business, screw the reputation built up between the other promoters.
From very early on in the book, the authors attempt to cultivate a certain image for VKM. In the initial chapters, discussion is mainly kept to the pre-Vince days and discussion of the good rapport Vince Snr built up with others. While it could be argued that this was a simple portrayal of how things were, you can't help thinking it's all just to criminalise Vince Jnr before he has even got a mention. It's almost like they want to say the Wrestling business was some friendly happy environment before that pastel-suit wearing son of a bitch full of piss and vinegar got his dirty hands on things. This coming despite contradictory quotes later on in the book that discuss just how dirty and cutthroat the industry already was.
It's not just the cynical choice of quotes that stick out either. From the word go, a massive, almost off-putting, condescending tone is adopted whenever discussing Vince. Not-so-subtle digs at his hair, clothes, voice and even his chin are thrown in almost in an effort to tear strips off the man. What's ironic is that this is EXACTLY the sort of thing the WWE/F product would be criticised for – making a heel out of not-that-heel-like things. So when we (and the authors) may have said "He is a plumber, why should I boo him?" we the reader have just as much right to say, "He has a bit of a humorous pompadour haircut, why should I hate him?" Jumping on the back of a backhanded comment by one of Vince's ex-employees, while Vince Jnr and Vince Snr are both discussed, to avoid confusion, they insist on referring to him as ‘Vinnie', which only adds to this comic book villain they seem desperate to cultivate over the course of the book.
This only creates more problems for the writers as the book goes on. Blasting McMahon right out of the gates means they cannot go back on much, even when he HAS done something right. As some kind of marital safety-net, they seem keen to point at Linda McMahon if they need to praise anybody, ensuring that if some of the WWF's money went to a charity or whatever, it would be speared by her rather than him. How true this is, we the reader do not know, but at times it questions the intended authoritative register in which the book is written.
Another regrettable tactic Sex, Lies & Headlocks uses is the dreaded shortcut. Here's the bottom line. Vince McMahon is not a saint. Vince McMahon can be blamed for a number of things that have happened to people in their lives. But ultimately, the fate of a man lies on his own shoulders to the last, and when is the time to stop passing blame? To draw on recent examples, did Eddie Guerrero cut his own life in half thanks to his demons gone by, or was that Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff and Paul Heyman's fault for giving him work in the wrestling business? Even more recent, is TNA at fault for hiring Kurt Angle? Of course not, Angle knows what risks he's taking, and if he believes he can, then let the adult that he is say so. In conclusion – Owen Hart's blood is NOT on Vince McMahon's hands. I'll say one thing in defence, this book was only three years after the Over the Edge fall, so reporting on it was all fine and dandy, but as the opening chapter of a book designed to pull apart Vince McMahon, this is an appalling attempt at sensationalising a terrible mishap and putting the blame wrongly in another man's lap. Sure, it puts a fantastic argument across for the anti-McMahon flag wavers (and Martha Hart, no doubt), but to hold Vince at gunpoint for the single biggest accident wrestling has ever seen is ludicrous and unfair.
So as stated above, while it's absolutely fine to write a book chronicling the misdemeanours that Vince McMahon may have been involved in, I personally found the opening gambit cheap and disappointing. What should Chapter 1 (or a prologue) establish? Vince is, and has been, a bad man at times? Yes. Vince might as well be a heartless murderer? Lord no. The hatchet is driven in deep from the first word, and is barely pulled out for the remainder of the book.
Criticisms like this are unfortunate, as overall, the book is an engaging chronological look at the history of the industry post-70s to present day, no stone unturned. What really scored points was the format of introducing central characters to a particular section of prose. For example, there are many names, e.g. Bill Watts, The Crocketts, Ted Turner, Jim Herd, Vince Russo and countless others who most enthusiasts and fans will know relatively well, and enjoy the basic refresher course in reading about their life and times. But the same method is attached to others, such as TV execs, important suits and technicians who worked around the people you already know. It's a fascinating insight into some of the mystery people behind the scenes who weren't wrestling folks as such, but were drawn in to the business because of circumstances. The way in which they were introduced would always be the same, but would stand to be equally effective each time. This was probably a benefit of a guy like sportswriter Assael being an author on this project. As someone able to detach any wrestling fandom he may have, a deeper vested interest in those on the production side made for key details which separate the book from its peers. Likewise all the shady folks involved in the George Zahorian steroid scandals.
So while there is a lot to dislike about this book, there is also a hell of a lot to get stuck into. Vince's story is a pretty amazing one anyway, and when crossed over with the many trials and tribulations the industry has a whole has undergone, the book is an enlightening walkthrough along the timeline. While there needs to be more leeway given to VKM in places, ultimately nobody but those there will know the real truths of some of the tumultuous incidents Vince has been privy to, but even those will still lie. So long as you can make informed decisions about what to believe, what to cast aside, and when not to drink the Kool-Aid, Sex, Lies & Headlocks is a more-than acceptable little read.
Shorthand
Worst Bit: All the Owen Hart stuff. Too preachy, to predictable, too soon.
Best Bit: The extremely detailed account of the steroid trials, featuring every name, date and deal you could ask for. A lot of coverage on this is cloak and dagger due to what I would presume to be legal thin ice, but a staggering amount of detail goes into reporting one of Vince's most difficult times.
Buy It, Borrow It, Bin It: Buy it, but get the paperback edition released in 2004. I don't know if there's been an update on top of the 2002 hardback release, but it's a bit cheaper at least!
