Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People 10.05.06: ROH on VHS
Posted by Ryan Byers on 10.05.2006
Some quality matches plus glimpses of CM Punk, Samoa Joe, Mickie James, and many more before they were stars on national TV!
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. As always, I'm Ryan, and I'm here to guide you through the latest and greatest in terms of low cost 'rasslin' footage. This week, we've got a very special workrate-intensive edition of the column, which was necessary after my review of some glorified backyard wrestling last week.
Cheap Wrestling Tip #50: ROH on VHS
After providing us with over four years of quality professional wrestling action, the fine folks at Ring of Honor have established themselves as a legitimate force in the professional wrestling world. They're the first place that "smart" American fans go for entertainment, and they've slowly but surely managed to gain international recognition as well. However, the world was a little different when ROH first burst on to the scene. Even though the DVD player had been around for several years, video tapes were still the primary form of entertainment for some. In the short time that Ring of Honor has been around, though, VHS has become more and more obscure. In fact, the company has stopped putting out its new releases in that format. Despite that fact, they were left holding cassettes of some of their earlier shows, which they are now trying to unload at insanely reduced prices. You can check them out here, with the most expensive single tape being $6 and two tape sets topping out at $8.
Plus, as always, I've included a review so that you can see the quality of wrestling that you'll be getting for your tiny investment. This tape is unfortunately now out of stock, but rest assured it was a steal when I picked it up from the now picked over VHS section of the ROH store.
Title: Bitter Friends, Stiffer Enemies Released By: Ring of Honor Release Year: 2003 Run Time: 180 minutes Found At: ROHwrestling.com Price: $6
Ring of Honor, everybody's favorite indy promotion founded by a guy who got in to the business by selling bootleg tapes, continues to plug along with this show that takes place a little over a year in to the company's existence. At this point they'd already been established as a smark's wet dream. Hell, why am I even typing this? The review is for the internet, everybody on here knows what Ring of Honor is. I suppose I'll just hit the major points heading in to this show, then: Raven is feuding with CM Punk, Homicide has a major beef with Steve Corino (as always), Christopher Daniels getting a big push, and Special K are the resident obnoxious little brats running around and annoying the crap out of everybody they meet. Get it? Got it? Good.
We open on Raven, who stands accused of attacking CM Punk's valet Lucy (formerly Daffney of WCW fame) at some vaguely defined point in the past. Raven claims innocence and hypes his upcoming cage match against Punk, which you can bet will be available on a future Ring of Honor home video release (wink wink). Sub-par promo compared to Mr. Levy's other work, and that's the last we see of him for the night. Meanwhile, Punk confronts ROH head man Rob Feinstein about the attack on Lucy and how it's caused his henchmen Ace Steele and Colt Cabana to no-show tonight. He's pissed, he wants Raven, Feinstein had better find out what's going on, blah blah blah. The Outcast Killaz attempt to intervene and mock CM, but they get laid out
Meanwhile, Special K, everybody's favorite stable of raving lunatics, comes to the conclusion that their group is a bit of a sausage-fest (their words, not mine) and attempt to recruit some new females. This results in them running across Alexis "Soon to Be Mickie James" Laree and hitting on her en masse. Female Special K member Becky Bayless attempts to spike Alexis' drink behind her back, but Laree cuts her off. Naturally, Lexi is none too happy about that development, and IT'S ON for tonight, as non-wrestler Becky accepts a match. For what it's worth, the whole of Special K is eerily good at portraying a group of young people drugged out of their minds. Sadly, I can say that from personal experience.
Meanwhile, there's also something going on in this bizarre four-sided structure that appears to be in the middle of some arena somewhere. There are wrestlers walking towards it, perhaps for some sort of wrestling exhibition.
Match Numero Uno: Prince Nana vs. Homicide
Nana is actually supposed to be facing Oman Tortuga of the Outcast Killaz, but a combination of the fact that Oman was taken out by CM Punk and the fact that Homicide runs out like a crazed lunatic and grabs the mic kind of changes that. Homicide is actually out to challenge Steve Corino, who he's been calling out ever since Corino "left" the company due to a "riot" that had occurred a couple of months prior. Corino flunky Guillotine LeGrande appears, and he informs us that Corino is present and willing to fight, though he also subtly implies that there might be some problems with Stevie's neck. Whoops, probably shouldn't have let that one slip. The Corino/Homicide match is on for later tonight, but Nana also wants him some, so he challenges Homi to a one-on-one match right then and there. The ref's got nothing better to do, so he calls for the bell, and we're underway.
Nana grabs Homicide with a belly to belly suplex off of the match opening handshake and follows up with an avalanche and an ass splash in the corner. The chunky African prince also gets in a slam and a senton, but his luck changes and Homicide goes to the eyes and tosses him to the outside. The Notorious 187 follows with his SWEET somersault tope suicida and even lands on his feet to make it even more awesome. Back on the inside, the Strong Style Thug gets in some chops and a European uppercut for two. He dropkicks the knee to follow up, but Nana manages to block an STF attempt and gets a sidewalk slam. The Prince is up to the second rope, but another senton fails to connect, and NOW Homicide locks on his rather weak looking STF for the submission victory.
Match Thoughts: Yeah, this was basically a squash to get over Homicide and, more importantly, his STF finisher to take advantage of Corino's neck injury. However, establishing that finisher is a rather smart booking move, and the pace and stiffness here were both quite solid despite the fact that the match wasn't really doing much for Nana. A squash, but a fun squash. *1/2
Post-match, Homicide grabs the mic again, and he's still pissed off. He threatens both Rob Feinstein and Gary Michael Cappetta, demanding that Corino come out NOW. However, that's going to have to wait for later in the show. Props to the crowd for their "Kick Rob's ass" chant. If only.
We go back to the locker room area now, as the Carnage Crew of Loc and DeVito talks about how they, as working class heroes, hate punk kids like Special K. Hence, they're going to hurt the K kids in tonight's scramble match. I question the heel/face positioning here, really, as the majority of ROH's fanbase is a lot more like the twenty-something, never worked a day in their life Special K twenty-somethings than they're like the blue collar Carnage Crew. Eh, whatever.
Match Numero Dos: The Ring Crew Express (Dunn & Marcos) vs. The Purists (John Walters & Tony Mamaluke)
I'd like to take a second and reflect on the irony of Mamaluke, who made his whole career on taking sickening, sideshow level bumps, being part of a team named the Purists. Okay, the second is up. Dunn and Walters kick it off and go to the mat for some rather quick exchanges, and Walters winds up stretching him in a unique hold before Dunn makes the ropes. We clip ahead to Mamaluke being in the ring and covering Dunn, who kicks out at two. The Ring Crew member makes a comeback with a Gory bomb, however, and Marcos is brought in by the hot tag. He lands a rana and an enzuguri on Mamaluke, as well as a side Russian legsweep on Walters. The Express then unload a series of kicks on Johnny boy, but the Hurricane responds with a drop toe hold that snaps Dunn's neck in to the ropes. While that's going on, Marcos finds himself on Mamaluke's shoulders, setting up one of the most unique double team finishes I've ever seen. It's essentially Walters doing a lungblower with Marcos on Mamaluke's shoulders. John then slaps on a back-stretching submission hold as Mamaluke takes out Dunn with a wicked backdrop suplex. Then, just for fun, Tony decides to apply a leglock to Marcos while he's still in Walters' hold, and that obviously gets a submission.
Match Thoughts: Once again, an energetic, well-worked squash. Walters looked very good on the mat, and I'm always a mark for double team offense that I've never seen anywhere before. *1/2
We go to the back again, where Dan Maff cuts a promo on Low Ki that's way too long. He goes through and lists about seven different reasons for hating Ki's guts, when really only one or two would've been sufficient for setting up their match tonight. However, this is fun to watch simply to count the number of times that Maff's face turns from it's natural mahogany-ish color to tomato red.
Match Numero Tres: Matt Stryker vs. BJ Whitmer
The Field of Honor is a big round robin tournament that the company would be having soon, and an invitation to that tournament is on the line here. It should be noted that this is NOT the Matt Stryker currently with WWE. It's a different guy who used the same name and broke in at around the same time, which was pretty confusing for a few months. The two lock up to start, and Stryker gives a clean break in the corner after forcing Whitmer back in to it. Lockup number two produces a Whitmer drop toe hold, but Stryker turns that in to a hammerlock and, later on, an armbar. BJ cartwheels to counter and hits a variant on the Northern Lights suplex while holding on to an armbar after the move. Stryker flips out of it, however, and the two men wind up trading legsweeps for one counts. They then trade armdrags and stare at each other before shaking hands as the crowd alternates between "Let's go Stryker!" and "Let's go Whitmer!" chants. We get another lockup, and this time Whitmer sinks in a cheap forearm off of the break to set up a dropkick for two. The duo locks up again, and the same sequence repeats with the roles reversed. Off of our next lockup, Whitmer goes behind, but Stryker elbows out, and both men are propelled over the top rope when Whitmer attempts to armdrag Stryker out to the floor. Matt gets the advantage on the floor, though, sending his opponent in to the guardrail no more than three times. He then charges at Whitmer, who attempts to get the foot up . . . but Stryker grabs it and dragon screws his man down on to the arena floor.
We go back inside, and Stryker applies a toe hold to the leg he just screwed before transitioning in to a weak sharpshooter. Whitmer makes the ropes, but Matty Boom-batty stays on him with a kneebreaker and a rolling dragon screw. He then slaps on the Stryker Lock (a reverse figure four), but Whitmer is directly in front of the ropes and makes it out easily. An ankle lock follows, but BJ performs the typical roll through counter, and it winds up whipping Stryker to the outside. Whitmer gets in a neckbreaker on the floor and hits a series of kicks to the spine when the action returns to the ring. A choke sleeper follows, which allegedly targets the back according to our announcers. Whitmer lets it go and covers for two and hits the Rude Awakening before applying the chinlock. Stryker elbows out of it only to be met with an elbow to the jaw that gets another nearfall for Whitmer. BJ then chops away and sets Stryker up top, but Matt gets the advantage and hits a sunset flip powerbomb on his opponent. He doesn't cover, and the two men wind up trading chops, culminating in a Stryker Yakuza kick for two. BJ manages to come back with a unique suplex for two, but Stryker reverses his subsequent roaring elbow attempt in to a head and shoulders suplex for two. Stryker then tries to rally with his own roaring elbow, but Whitmer blocks it and gets a vertical suplex for two. BJ heads up top to capitalize, but his high risk offense is blocked for the second time in the match, and Stryker scoops him up . . . DVD OFF THE SECOND ROPE BY STRYKER! That came out of NOWHERE! 1......2.....Whitmer kicks out?! Huh? Not only does Whitmer kick out, but he's healthy enough to crotch Stryker when he attempts to go up, following with a superplex. Both men are again up quickly and trading kicks, but they knock each other out with simultaneous roaring elbows. The referee puts on the double KO count, but guess what happens? The time limit expires when the ref gets up to six, and we have ourselves a draw.
Match Thoughts: You'll note that the two men wound up doing a lot of similar offense, which was an attempt to set up the storyline of them knowing each other well from battles in other promotions. Normally that's all fine and dandy, but they took it too far here, as it continued for the ENTIRE match. Things just got too cyclical and repetitive as a result. Additionally, what the FUCK was up with that second rope DVD? After completely ignoring the leg work that happened earlier in the match, Whitmer also decides to completely ignore BEING DUMPED ON HIS GODDAMN HEAD WITH ANOTHER MAN'S WEIGHT COMING DOWN ON HIM. Within literally seconds he's able to pop up and apply a suplerplex with apparently no signs of struggle whatsoever. What happened to selling, ladies and gentlemen? There's no excuse for that move to not be a finish, and that display was just as insulting to a wrestling fan's intelligence as any necrophilia storyline that Vince McMahon can trot out. The two men each displayed some good offense, but this was not a match for those of us who actually like to, you know, think about things. **
After the referee's decision is rendered, Gary Michael Cappetta joins us in the ring to inform both men that they're great and, as a result, will both be allowed in to the Field of Honor. Stryker and Whitmer show respect for each other was well. Awww, how cute.
Match Numero Cuatro: The Backseat Boys (Trent Acid & Johnny Kashmere) vs. The Carnage Crew (Loc & DeVito) vs. Izzy & Dixie vs. The SAT (Jose & Joel Maximo) in a scramble match
Well, here goes nothing. This should be quite the workout for my writing hand as well as my VCR's stop and rewind buttons. Dixie starts it off with Kashmere, and Johnny takes the early advantage with a bulldog, a lariat, and a pump kick that sends Dixie to the outside. That leads to the two being replaced by DeVito and Jose, with Maximo scoring a pair of ranas before ‘Vito decides to just punch him in the face. Simple, yet effective. A slam gets two for DeVito, and the two wind up trading armdrags before tagging out to Loc and Trent Acid. Acid scores with some kicks and a forearm before sending the former referee in to the corner and flattening him with a double kneelift. The offensive run is short lived, however, as Loc gets in a WICKED backdrop that takes Trent out of action for the time being. Joel and Izzy decide that it's time to come in for their sequence, and a rana from the Special K member sets up a few kicks and a pretty bad looking Mexican armdrag. They then trade legsweeps for one, and Joel looks to take the advantage with a HUGE lariat. (Well, really, it was Izzy's bump that was huge, but we've got to maintain kayfabe sometimes.) Loc decides that he's going to run in and cause some carnage, but the SATs cut him off before he can cause too much trouble. They set him up in a rather contrived manner, with his legs draped over the top rope and his head atop Jose's shoulder as if for a Rude Awakening. The result? Joel comes off of the top with a senton on to HC's midsection to complete the move. Then Izzy of all people runs in and cleans house on the Maximos, opening up the ring for Dixie to join him. They get in an H-Bomb variant on Jose but are ambushed by the Backseat Boyz, who get in their Dream Sequence. Rundown of the Dream Sequence for the uneducated: one poor schmuck is treated to a Hart attack, a Boston crab/legdrop combo, and a basement dropkick back to back in the span of about fifteen seconds. Damn. Naturally, to complete the ongoing cycle, the Carnage Crew have to run in and smack people around. They get a unique double team swinging neckbreaker in on one of the Backseats, and suddenly Izzy is left in the ring with Joel and Jose. The SATs attempted double team is reversed in to a rana by Izzy, but he can't follow up appropriately and is caught with a pendulum flapjack from the Maximos.
Loc comes back and takes out Joe with a DDT variant, and Acid runs in to take out Loc with a Yakuza kick. DeVito hits the ring and takes out Acid with a WICKED Northern lights suplex in to the corner, and Kashmere makes his presence known before taking out DeVito with a corner spear and a bulldog. Think we're done? No. Izzy runs in and blasts Johnny with a backflip kick, and Joel is in to nail Izzy with a kick of his own. The pattern finally comes to an end as the Maximos team up and attempt the Spanish Fly on Izzy, only to be cut off by DeVito. Izzy tries to come back with a tornado DDT, but Loc blocks it and hits a kneelift/neckbreaker combo. Then, just to be total pricks, the Loc hands Izzy off to DeVito, who is seated on the second rope. I don't like where this one is going at all . . . SPIKE PILEDRIVER OFF OF THE SECOND ROPE ON TO IZZY! The Carnage Crew goes for the cover, but the illegal members of Special K run in to break up the pinfall at two. The SATs arrive and start throwing ravers out to the floor, culminating in Jose hitting a big dive on to everybody. Joel follows with an Asai moonsault. Cloudy, one of the extra Special K boys, goes up to the top and attempts a dive, but Acid cuts him off. Trent grabs his man . . . SUPERPLEX DOWN ON TO THE PILE OF MEN AT RINGSIDE! Yikes. Lit, another Special K'er, runs the ropes for a dive, but he's cut off by Johnny Kashmere, who lifts him up for a Cradle Breaker! (A brutal move in which the opponent is lifted like a Northern lights bomb but dropped neck first on to Kashmere's outstretched knee.) Things are looking good for the Backseats when, out of nowhere, Dixie runs in to the ring and rolls Kashmere up for the out of nowhere three count.
Match Thoughts: : This wasn't a match so much as it was an exhibition of really flashy wrestling moves and insane bumps. Entertaining enough for what it was, though there was no real sort or build. It was just move, move, move. Of course, that's the whole point of the scramble match, but it's not something that I can get in to on a level greater than "Oh, that's neat." I will, however, say that the men involved did a good job of selling the big moves. For example, Izzy never resurfaced after he took the killer spike piledriver, and he wouldn't be back for the rest of the night. That's more than I can say about some matches, such as the previous one. **1/2
Post-match, the lights dim and Special K attempts to have a rave, but the music suddenly changes, and we segue immediately in to our next bout...
Match Numero Cinco: Alexis Laree vs. Becky Bayless
Becky feigns a nail injury off of the match-opening handshake, leading to the referee checking her out and Special K ambushing Alexis. Lit's even still selling from the bump he took earlier, just like a good little rookie should. (Note that he's selling the fact that his arm is limp after taking a bump on the neck, which makes sense in a way that a lot of people wouldn't think of.) With Alexis down, Becky gets an intentionally weak forearm and dances a bit. Naturally, the actual wrestler makes her comeback, kicking Bayless in the faces off of a back body drop attempt. Alexis then takes her down with god only knows what and lands a kick, but Special K is back in the ring. Various combinations of the stable botch their interference not once but twice, allowing Laree to get another kick and an inverted DDT for the three count and the victory. Meanwhile, Special K's Deranged provides the most entertaining non-wrestling part of the evening, wondering aloud in to the camera as to why he's not getting any action from Alexis.
Match Thoughts: Obviously a nothing bit here to just get Laree on the card, which I really question given the fact that her act didn't seem over enough to actually justify it. Fortunately she would go on to much better. 1/2*
Match Numero Seis: Christopher Daniels w/ Allison Danger vs. Xavier for the ROH #1 Contender's Trophy
Both men are members of the Prophecy stable here, so there's a bit of in-group tension as they vie for the top slot on the ROH rankings. Xavier gets on the mic before any real wrestling happens and mentions that he, not Daniels, is the true leader of the Prophecy since he's the ex-ROH Champion (a cute pun as opposed to the traditional "former" champion label). He then asks Daniels to lay down for him, which obviously isn't going to happen. The Fallen Angel responds by informing Xavier that he doesn't need to ask his opponents to lay down, because he'll put them on their backs if he wants them there. Kinky. The mic is deposited outside the ring, the two men lock up, and Xavier shoves his man down. Lockup again, and the same sequence repeats with the roles reversed. Xavier goes behind on the third lockup, and Daniels manages to get in a standing switch, only to be taken down by an armbar/hammerlock sequence from the Ex-Champ. Xavier then tries to roll to a cross arm breaker, but Chris will have none of it and rolls in to the ropes to break the hold. When the two get back up, the lockup again, which results in Daniels applying a front chancre to wear his man down. Xavier, however, slips out and goes back to the hammerlock before turning that in to a chancre of his own. Daniels manages to make that in to a crossface hold, but Xavier hits the ropes. Then, out of nowhere, Daniels decides to stop wrestling and yells at a ringside fan for an extended period of time, even going as far as yelling "HOLD ON A SECOND!" to Xavier and the referee so he can continue trading barbs with the guy. D'oh.
When Chris finally decides to go back to work, he gets a headlock that Xavier unsuccessfully tries to X-cape a couple of times before finally shoving the man off of him. Naturally, Daniels responds with a shoulderblock, which gets two. He goes right back to the headlock, but Xavier once again manages to change it in to his hammerlock, and he drops some knees down on to the Fallen Angel for good measure. In a nice touch, you can see Daniels subtly attempting to reverse the move with a snap mare, but he fails each time. Eventually he turns the move into a headlock takedown, as I begin to wonder if maybe we've spent just a little to much time on the mat. Apparently they heard me on that one, because just as soon as Daniels wiggles out of a Xavier armbar, the X throws the first punch of the match. Daniels responds in kind as the announcers blather about how this match has now degenerated from technical classic in to a full-on brawl. They're wrong on both counts. Anyway, the two guys shove each other and then go for a handshake, but there's no honor amongst thieves, as a stereo double cross results. There is then some rolling around and punching, which Daniels comes out on top of. He gets a weak spear and dumps Xavier stomach-first over the top rope before sending his knee in to the abs a few times. Uh oh, I think he's picked his body part to work over.
My theory is proven further as an elbowdrop to the midsection gets two for Chris, as does a slingshot elbowdrop from the inside out. Xavier tries to break up Daniels' momentum by tossing him out of the ring, but he fails. He does snap the Angel's neck on the top rope, however, which dazes Daniels long enough for Xavier to get in a baseball slide that sends his opponent headfirst in to the guardrail. Xavier then goes up to the top rope, jumps off and spins in midair to bounce his ass off of the top rope and splat against Daniels with a split legged moonsault. Unique looking, I'll give him that. We go back to the inside after that spot, and Xavier begins to work over the neck, even stealing Tito Santana's old flying punch finisher. You know, the one with the ridiculously complex Spanish name. A neck vice (shades of Zeus) follows, and there's a low dropkick to the neck as well. Up next is a half crab of all things, which makes little to no sense. X then backs his man in to the corner with a series of chops, and he gets in a few knee strikes to Daniels' head, which puts the man down in the corner. From there, Xavier mounts the second rope and jumps off Vader Bomb style, planting his knee in to Chris' face as he comes down. We go back to the neck vice for a little bit, and Xavier follows up with a piledriver attempt, which is blocked. Daniels capitalizes with another elbowdrop to the ribs, as well as a basement dropkick to the same region. A gutbuster gets two, and Daniels looks for a vertical suplex, only to have his neck give out on him.
Xavier capitalizes with a side Russian leg sweep, which is a cool neck snapping move nobody ever seems to think of when they're telling this story. He then puts Daniels in to a freaky looking neck-based submission hold, which he eventually turns in to a backslide for two. Xavier stays on top of his man with a corner dropkick, but a kneelift to the injured ribs puts Daniels right back in to the thick of things, and he continues to work over the midsection with such fun stuff as kneedrops and shoulders in the corner. A second gutbuster gets another two count, and the abdominal stretch is applied to take us back to the 1980's. The former champ eventually elbows out and then looks for a hiptoss, but Daniels blocks it. It ain't no thang, however, as X managers to counter the counter with an inverted DDT that gets two. The Fallen Angel is then lifted up in to a fireman's carry and swung around so that his neck lands on Xavier's outstretched knee. A enzuguri then gets two for Professor X, and you knew that I had to pull that nickname out eventually. Daniels manages to turn the momentum back in his favor with a spear, and he then lands a series of crisp moves culminating in a flatliner for his own nearfall. With that move having failed, he places Xavier up on the top rope and goes for an Iconoclasm, but the less experienced man manages to block it. Daniels goes up himself, but Xavier pulls him down off the second rope and in to a HARD lariat, which is probably the best looking spot of the match.
X then picks his man up and drops him back down with an STO variant for two, which looked particularly good in the context of the match because Xavier was forcing Daniels' head back with his hands before hitting the legsweep. The two move in to the corner, where Daniels takes over with some shoulders, and he picks up on his high impact offense again with a uranage. His double jump moonsault misses, however, which gives Xavier his own opportunity for a high risk move . . . BEAUTIFUL 450 SPLASH! His ribs can't hold out, though, and our man has to roll around the mat in pain for a bit, delaying his cover. The lateral press only gets two as a result. Xavier then sets up for his X-Breaker neckbreaker, only to have it reversed in to a Daniels rollup for two. A cross body block then gets two for the Prophecy leader, and he sets up the Angel's Wings with a kneelift. The Wings are reversed in to a jackknife for Xavier, however, which is just another nearfall. The two then take each other out with a double lariat, and Xavier is the first up since his neck hasn't been pounded for the entire match. He gets a European uppercut in and, after fighting for it, takes Daniels down with a backslide, putting his feet on the ropes for good measure. Yet, at the two count, a miracle happens. THE REFEREE ACTUALLY SEES THE FEET ON THE ROPES! HALLELUJAH, IT'S A MIRACLE! THE BLIND CAN SEE, AND THE LEPERS ARE HEALED! After that, it's a matter of seconds before Daniels rolls Xavier up and grabs a big handful of tights for three. So much for miracles.
Match Thoughts: Though technically sound, this one was a bit – how do I put it – boring. The closing sequence was hot and action packed but, before that, there was just nothing going on. I'm particularly adverse to this mentality of "We want to do a long match but can't think of anything better to do, so we'll work an armbar for ten minutes." I honestly love good matwork, but rolling around with an armbar/hammerlock sequence for so damn long just smacks of a lack of creativity, particularly when it's not playing in to the larger story of the match. The selling wasn't horribly good either. The two guys went down after they took a shot to their injured body parts, but did they appear to be in pain at all? No, not really. Of course, I'm not trying to take away from some of the beautiful individual spots that Xavier and Daniels pulled off during the bout, but as a unit the bout just didn't click for me. **1/4
During intermission, Gary Michael Cappetta digs around in the locker room and questions Steve Corino about his neck injury. Corino blows him off and claims that he'll be more than ready for Homicide later in the night.
Match Numero Siete: Slyk Wagner Brown w/ April Hunter vs. Johnny Storm vs. Hydro vs. Deranged
And this is our post-intermission four way, as the crowd slowly trickles back from smoking or whatever the hell else they do during breaks. Hydro and Deranged, both of them Special K representatives, start the match. Hydro would go on to greater fame as Jay Lethal. They try to reenact the Hogan/Nash finger poke and end the match quickly, but Storm runs in to make the save. They do it again with roles reversed, but Brown comes in and breaks it up. Slyk stays around and sends both Special K members out with a back body drop, and he then pops down on to all fours to set up a Storm dive on to the ravers. However, just as Storm is about to make his jump, Brown hops up and double crosses him with a lariat and gets a two count. Those two stay in the ring and lock up, with Wagner working an armbar before it gets turned in to a hammerlock by Storm. Brown counters that with a headlock, and Johnny uses a unique counter, flipping up out of it and over his man's back before slapping on his own version of the hold. Brown counters it yet again, and the two run the ropes a bit before trading legsweeps and kipping up in stereo. Hey, what do you know, they stare at each other and the crowd applauds. Didn't see that one coming.
Storm reapplies the headlock, but Deranged tags himself in off of that and ambushes Slyk with a slingshot springboard dropkick. He follows up with a satellite rana which just looks kinda goofy thanks to the extra rotations. Our Special K'er then looks for a quebrada, but Brown catches him, so what's a good hopped up teenager to do? He reverses the catch in to a DDT, which gets him a nearfall. Brown is up rather quickly, though, as he lifts his man up in to a press slam and follows it up with a standing moonsault for his own nearfall. Storm replaces Brown in the ring and slaps a headlock on Deranged before adding the odd touch of grabbing his own foot and slamming it in to Deranged's face. I suppose it would be hard to actually kick him from that angle. Johnny then lets go of the hold and hits a discuss lariat before yelling to the crowd with perhaps one of the greatest quotes ever: "LET'S SEE SOME NOISE!" Hey, you could pull that off after asking Deranged for some of his stash. Speaking of Deranged, he comes back with a spin kick on Storm and tags out to Hydro. The Special K members then take turns running in to Storm with corner forearms and kneelifts, which just can't be pleasant. They then continue the double teaming with a version of the veg-o-matic, which gets two for Hydro. He also lands a redtail snapper for another two count. He then looks for a German suplex, but the Brit flips out of that and tags in Slyk Wagner.
Brown charges but hits nothing save for Hydro's boots, which sets up a weird four way submission spot in which the guys just wind up slapping random holds on to each other until everybody's wrapped up in something. They all simultaneously let go, and the Special K boys head to the outside, but Brown blocks Storm's attempt to leap out on to them. Brown then goes for his own dive, but Deranged blocks that with a kick. Hydro then lariats Slyk out of the ring, but he's subsequently pulled out by Storm, who comes off of the top rope with a big cannonball on to Hydro. That starts off our train wreck spot, as Deranged follows by landing a springboard moonsault on to both men, and Brown caps it off with a somersault plancha. That leaves Hydro as the man who has taken the least damage, so he tosses Brown in to the ring and gets some forearms and a lariat in on him for two. A swandive headbutt gets the same, and Hydro looks to tag out to Deranged, but D slaps Brown instead, claiming that he doesn't want to be in there with the Slyk one.
The two Special K members face off, and Deranged gets a really contrived looking rana for two, as he pops up to Hyrdo's head from a wheelbarrow position. Code Red gets two for Deranged before Johnny Storm interjects himself and hits a weird faceplant sort of move for his own two count. He then plants his man with a wheelbarrow DDT for another nearfall, and now it's Brown's turn to come in. He runs in to Storm's foot, and then Johnny goes up top, only to be cut off. Wagner grabs him in the old Razor's Edge position and flips the man forward down on to his face for two as the crowd begins to chant "Holy Slyk." How cute. Brown goes up now, but he's crotched. Storm looks for a double jump rana, but Brown blocks it moves his man over for a spinning uranage from the second rope! It looks particularly nasty as Storm's head landed on the back of Brown's leg, but it still only got two. Brown goes up to capitalize on his fallen foe and slips a little in the process, but he fires off a fabulous shooting star press once he's there. It misses, however, allowing Deranged to tag in. He goes up and plants Brown with an AWESOME reverse rana, which is enough to get the three count. How does he celebrate? By raving a little, of course.
Match Thoughts: This was essentially a singles version of the scramble match earlier, as there were spots with little cohesive storyline. Some of the spots came off better, some of the spots came off worse, but it was essentially the same matchup. I'll give this one a slight advantage, however, because as opposed to the double team spots in the tag match, the spots here were much more natural and took less time to set up, preventing the bout from looking overly choreographed. **1/2
Match Numero Ocho: CM Punk vs. ROH Heavyweight Champion Samoa Joe
Before the match, Punk comes out and cuts a little promo on Raven, which hypes a match that they would be having in three weeks. Typical solid feud building stuff by Punk. Joe comes out, and the announcers explain that the title is not on the line because neither man is really at 100%, due to knee and elbow injuries to both Punk and Joe (respectively). Naturally, this comes to play a big part in the match. Joe starts off by going in to a waistlock, but Punk reverses it, which Joe turns in to a hammerlock. CM turns that in to one of his own, but the Samoan makes the ropes, forcing a break. Punk stays on top of him thanks to a single leg takedown, and he goes after the arm, only to have Joe block his efforts with a drop toe hold. The champ then sits on his opponent's back and applies a crossface, but that's quickly fought out of. The two get back to a vertical base and fight over a knuckle lock, with Joe winning until Punk decides to kick him in the stomach and fire off a quick rana. The Straight Edge icon then takes his man back in to the corner with some chops, but a corner splash is blocked. Joe charges but finds himself in a Fujiwara armbar rather quickly, though he manages to make the ropes before substantial damage can be done to his bad arm.
Punk then applies a regular armbar, and Joe ducks a lariat coming out of it, turning that in to an overhead suplex. The Samoan then rakes his boot across Punk's face in the corner and finishes it up with a running kick to the face, which bloodies CM's lip. Punk rolls to the outside, where Joe follows and chops him before sending his man in to the rail. The champ then gets a chair from the crowd and sets his opponent up for the Ole kick, but Punk moves out of the way and drop toe holds Joe down on to the chair. He then performs the Raven crucifix taunt in a little tip of the hat to their feud and goes for his own version of the Ole. It's blocked by Joe, however, and he throws Punk's bad leg in to the guardrail. Joe actually hits his big running kick this time and gets a second on the other side of the ring, where a bad camera angle makes it painfully obvious that he was just kicking the rail all along. The champ then sets up for a third Ole, but CM just gets up out of the chair and climbs back in to the ring, which has to be one of the smarter moves that I've seen in a while. Joe follows him back in to the ring and gets beaten down with some forearms to the back as a result. Punk then runs a bit, but he's grabbed by Joe and has his knee driven in to the mat, which is the perfect setup for a leglock by the islander. Punk wisely kicks at Joe's bad arm to escape, but the champ stays in control and places his man in the tree of woe, where he chops away at the bad knee. A running kick to the injured limb follows, and the UPW alum is really starting to look like a badass.
However, he looks like a lot less of a badass when he walks directly in to a single arm DDT, which Punk follows up with a Guerrero-esque slingshot senton down on to the bad arm. CM then performs a rope walk, coming off with a Whoopee Cushion on the limb, which gets two. A cross arm breaker is applied, but the champ makes the ropes to force another break. Punk is still in control, however, and he heads up to the top rope, only to get cut off. The two men fight over positioning on the turnbuckles for a bit, and Joe asserts his dominance by hitting with our crack announce team calls and "enzuguiri to the knee." If you know the translation of the name "eznuguiri," there's about twenty things wrong with that call, but I'll let it slide. Joe follows up with another great move, dragon screwing Punk off of the second rope, which sadly only gets a two count. Joe then pulls his man up for a series of kicks, and they botch a spot as Punk doesn't move out of the way quickly enough to avoid a lariat. He gets barely dinged by the move and goes down as a result. They repeat the sequence from the kicks, and this time CM has the presence of mind to dodge the lariat and kick Joe's knee to send both men down in to a double KO spot. They wind up on their knees and exchanging shots, with Punk getting the upper hand. He then runs the ropes and blasts Joe with a shining wizard, but it doesn't quite get three. The duo then trades chops and kicks, with Punk landing a low dropkick to bring the Samoan back down to one knee. A second shining wizard is attempted as a result, but guess what happens? Joe prevents the move from occurring by grabbing Punk's leg, which of course sets up to the dragon screw. A half crab is then applied by YOUR champion, and Punk quickly taps out, which the announcers put over as CM saving himself from injury so that he'll be at 100% for Raven. BUT WE'RE NOT DONE! After the match, Chris Daniels does a rare ROH run-in and plants Joe with his own enzuguiri (but not to the knee) before setting up the Angel's Wings. I suppose ya needed something for their upcoming title match, eh?
Match Thoughts: Fun match here, though not the greatest thing in the world. I was a big fan of the opening sequence, as the two did very basic stuff without it being mindbogglingly cliche like the Daniels/Xavier match. Additionally, when they went to work on the injured body parts, most of the offense was very unique, targeting the knee or the arm with moves that you wouldn't normally think of to work over those parts. (Well, the dragon screw is an exception there, but I've always been a mark for that move.) My only complaint is with the whole Ole Kick sequence on the outside of the ring, as that's okay for a one shot move, but doing several really just serves to kill time, as it takes a bit too long to set up for my liking. A good match. Not the best on the card, but you could tell that it was designed not to be the best on the card. ***1/4
Match Numero Nueve: Homicide vs. Steve Corino w/ Guillotine LeGrande vs. Homicide
Corino comes out complete with his own ring announcer, as well as a set of ring youngboys. (And I mean that in the puro sense, not the Feinstein sense.) The ring announcer proceeds to list all of the various indy titles held by both LeGrande and Corino, which is an INSANE amount. In fact, he even has to stop and take a drink of water at one point before continuing, and Homicide helps to put the gimmick over by grabbing a chair and having a seat during the introduction. Hilarious stuff, particularly the announcer's opening line, "True wrestling fans and fans of Ring of Honor alike . . ." Ha. When we finally get started, the two do a very intense lockup that they fight over for a lengthy period of time before Homicide finally gets put back in the corner. Corino chops away at him, and Homicide fires back with punches, with the Notorious 187 finally getting the advantage. He takes Corino down and applies a leg lock, which Corino eventually reverses in to a hold of his own. We get a second reversal by Homicide, and the two men wind up in the ropes, thus breaking the hold. Homicide maintains control with a few sweet looking headbutts, and he goes to the eyes once it looks like Corino might be mounting a comeback with some chops. The thug then looks for a lariat, but Corino dodges it and taunts him, only to get slapped right in the face for his trouble. The King of Old School then shoves his opponent, but that proves to be a big mistake, as Homicide gives him the mother of all slaps, right on the ear according to our announce team. Steve sells it like a champ, staggering out of the ring and holding his head before finally deciding that he's going to bail on the match. Does that work? No. Homicide's running buddies show up at the entranceway after it had been announced that they weren't in attendance, and that's enough to scare Corino back in to the ring.
However, before he can get there, Homicide cuts him off and sends his man to both the post and the rail. Then, on the inside, Homicide connects with a running forearm, followed by a knee smash before attempting to rip the nose off of Steve-o's face. Our hero then goes up, but his attempt at a swandive headbutt misses, allowing Corino to come back with a leg lariat for two. After that, the Extreme Horseman throws Homicide's body hard in to the ropes, and Homi oozes out to the floor. Once there, Corino chokes him on the railing and goes to the eyes, but Homicide manages to reverse a post shot to set up the really gory section of our contest. The Strong Style Thug decides to abandon strong style and produces a strand of barbed wire from under the ring. He digs the barbs in to Corino's arm several times and opens him up, and that stuff was definitely NOT gimmicked. After that Homicide brings out his trusty fork and digs it in to Corino's bloodied arm before biting the limb for good measure. Who wants to take bets that Homicide will be taking over Abdullah the Butcher's role in wrestling once Abby passes away? Steve's arm is then slammed in to the railing not once but twice, and we head back in to the ring.
Once there, Corino manages to take over despite his recent injuries, ducking a lariat and hitting one of his own. Homicide is then tossed outside, where the MLW Champ shoves his head in to the rail. Homicide blades, and Corino digs at the cut, both with his fingers and later with that barbed wire. The go back inside, where Corino gets a piledriver for two, causing Homicide to roll out on to the timekeeper's table. He gets piledriven through THAT as well, and Corino takes him back in for some chopping. Homicide responds to a couple of them by spitting in Corino's face, and then Steve charges right in to the man's boot. That sets up a tornado DDT from Homicide, as we get our reintroduction to the story of Corino's injured neck. Homicide then hits a shining wizard to compound Steve's neck problems, but he kicks out at two. (They were in the ropes anyway, but that was conveniently ignored by the referee.) Corino rolls to the outside, and Homicide crosses himself before running the ropes . . . THE FLIPPING SUICIDE DIVE MISSES! HOMICIDE SLAMS BACK FIRST OVER THE TOP OF THE GUARDRAIL IN ONE OF THE SICKEST BUMPS EVER! Ugh, that man is crazy. He may have taken out a fan too given all the bending over and security rushing over to the area that we see in the background for the next couple of minutes.
Corino tosses his back in but can only get two despite the fact that his opponent's back has to be shattered in two right now. Steve then locks on the cobra clutch in hopes that Homicide will pass out, but Homi hooks the ropes with his leg to break. Steve simply reapplies the hold in the center of the ring, but this time Homicide gets him with a low mule kick to break it up, which he immediately follows with a Yakuza kick before dropping to the mat from exhaustion. He limps up to the top rope, but Corino cuts him off and lands a superplex for two. Homicide is pushed back in to the corner and Steve lands a running forearm before heading up top himself and, much like his opponent, getting cut off. Homicide balances himself on the top rope . . . HAMA-CHAN CUTTER ON THE BAD NECK! FOR TWO! A brainbuster also gets two for Homicide, and Corino elbows out of a second suplex attempt before scoring a DVD variation for his own nearfall. Steve then removes his elbow pad and winds up for the big lariat, but Homicide blocks it . . . TOMBSTONE! TWO COUNT! Still no dice despite the fact that Homicide keeps pounding on the neck! Homicide runs for his own lariat, but Corino ducks it, so Homicide just slaps him as hard has he can on the back of the neck! Brilliant! That sets up a lariat that actually connects . . . TWO COUNT AGAIN! Homicide then slaps on the STF that made Nana tap earlier in the show, but Corino's starting to get close to the ropes. So what's a thug to do? He pulls Corino back to the center of the ring and reapplies the STF, even adding in the arm extension! Will he tap? Will he tap? NO! LeGrande throws in the towel! Corino loses!
Match Thoughts: Definitely an exciting bout, as you can tell by my repeated use of exclamation points and capital letters. Well, at least that's what I was trying to convey. Both men were giving it their all, particularly Homicide, who was both bumping and bleeding like crazy. I especially liked how the deal with Corino's neck was handled, as, by the time Homicide didn't start to work on it until after he had absorbed a ton of damage. That way, the neck based offense established a believable way for Homicide to remain competitive with Corino despite the fact that he had taken a ridiculous amount of punishment. I did have a few issues with the match, as I really didn't like the table piledriver being brushed off so easily, particularly when the match would've been just as good without it. Homicide's selling was also a bit spotty during the closing moments, though I'm always willing to be lenient for the sake of the greater drama. Overall, however, this was an excellent old school brawl infused with new school offense that made it all the more appealing. ****
Match Numero Deis: Low Ki vs. Dan Maff
In a bizarre bit of editing by ROH, we see Maff making his entrance, but then Ki gets ambushed by Maff while making HIS entrance. Huh? Anyway, after the ambush, Low Ki's head is sent in to the apron a couple of times, and Maff gouges the eyes before sending him in. Once there, Danny chops away, but Ki responds with a kick to the back of the head. More chops come out of Maff, as does some biting, and Low Ki dropkicks his knee to take the man down. A pair of kicks follows, and Low Ki looks for a third, but Maff blocks it. How does Ki respond? By just going ahead and kicking him with the other foot. A series of Mongolian chops follows, and that's capped off by a dropkick to the face. Ki then scores with a nice corkscrew elbow for a one count and follows up with more kicking and chopping. A corner forearm is next from the first ROH Champion, but he can't seem to get Maff over for a butterfly suplex. Dan takes advantage and locks Ki in to some sort of bizarre lifting submission hold, but Ki turns it in to a cross arm breaker. Maff goes for the Backlund counter out of it, but Low Ki slips out of that and lands on his feet, which you'd think would lead to another one of his kicks . . . but it doesn't. Instead, the two wind up trading slaps, and Ki gets another Mongolian chop before running directly in to a lariat. He pops up, however, and gets another big kick on Maff before jumping on to his back in a crucifix position and applying an armbar.
Not surprisingly, Maff swings him off and hits a half nelson suplex before throwing his man shoulder first in to the turnbuckle. (Oh yeah, did I mention Ki had just recently come back from a big shoulder injury?) A shoulderbreaker hits, and a weird dancing elbowdrop from Maff gets a count of one. A senton does slightly better, getting two, and then Maff bites the shoulder a bit before going back to the chops. He then snap mares Low Ki over and begins chopping away at the back of his neck, but Ki takes it like a man and rolls backwards slightly to kick his man in the face. Maff is barely phased, however, and lands even more shots, but Ki blocks his attempt at an Irish whip and gets in another kick series. Then, IT happens, as a springboard enzuguri from Low Ki catches Maff juuuuust right, and the big man immediately falls back and goes completely limp. He doesn't move for quite some time, and Low Ki quickly covers for three. I'm not going to bother to speculate as to whether or not it was a shoot or a work, but I'm leaning towards the latter. A lot of people bought it as legit at the time, though.
Match Thoughts: Most people would say that this wasn't up to par simply because of the abrupt ending, but I'm willing to say it wasn't even really looking like anything special before that. It seemed to be sold primarily on the stiffness of the shots, but, honestly, EVERYBODY in this promotion seems to hit that hard, so it's not as though it was any huge deal. Pretty plodding with way too much punch/kick/chop/punch/kick/chop for my liking. *1/2
Overall
A solid, if overall not too horribly eventful show. Nothing is terrible, and two of the matches are decently above average, even though they're not quite of EXCELLENT level. I would say get this one if you're an ROH completist, but if you're only looking for a video or two from the company or just want an introduction to its style of wrestling, it's probably a better idea to look elsewhere. I wouldn't however, scoff at any compilation you can find that surrounds Corino/Homicide with some better matches, even though it's not nearly at the MOTY level that ROH promotes it as being at. Overall, though, this isn't a bad purchase at the sub-$10 level.
