Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People 10.12.06: Pay to Play
Posted by Ryan Byers on 10.12.2006
Cheap Wrestling heads back to eBay, where we find ourselves some footage from one of the great wrestling promotions to come out of Texas.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People. As always, I'm Ryan Byers, and I've been bringing you tips on how to find the world's most inexpensive grappling videos for the last nineteen months. In that time, we've been down some high roads and some low roads . . . but that's somebody else's gimmick now. Since we can't do that anymore, let's just get on with the column proper.
Cheap Wrestling Tip #51: Pay to Play
In the early days of this little column, we talked a lot about my digging around on eBay in order to find DVDs and cassette tapes. My use of America's favorite auction house has decreased over the last several months, mainly because I'm trying to use that money eat. However, I still head back to the 'Bay from time to time, and this week I've got yet another tip on how you can use it to satisfy your wrestling needs.
One of the big changes to eBay since I first started using it in 2000 is how closely the site has become integrated with PayPal. It's to the point where people barely use one without using the other. I have no problem with that system, as it's actually quite convenient and user-friendly. However, there are still some people who are out there on the fringes of eBay society . . . some people who, for whatever reason, refuse to pick up a PayPal account but still want to use eBay. If anything, these people are severely limiting themselves in terms of what they can do when it comes to purchases and sales. But, if you want to deal with them, you can open yourself up to some fabulous deals. Why? Because nobody else will want to make the effort to write a them cheque or get a money order and mail it off. That means the items hosted by these people will not be bid on as much, which means that they are generally cheaper.
Sadly, there is no way that I'm aware of to screen your eBay search results for only those entries that do not use PayPal. However, it's easy enough to scan regular search results to determine who will and will not accept electronic payments. It's a method I've used a few times to dig up great wrestling titles, including the subject of this week's review . . .
Title: Wrestling Gold Volume 1 Released By: Kit Parker Films Release Year: 2001 Run Time: 120 minutes Found At: eBay Price: $4
Most wrestling fans who spend any amount of time on the internet have probably already heard about the Wrestling Gold Series, a collection of DVDs/VHS tapes that contain a good deal of classic wrestling footage from years gone by. Available either individually or as a boxed set, the series provides an opportunity for newer fans to see what was going on in the United States before WWE decided to completely rewrite history, as well as giving older fans the opportunity to relive some great moments. The first volume in the series is subtitled "Busted Open." Unlike later volumes in the series, all of the footage on this edition is from one promotion, namely Southwest Championship Wrestling, which was one of the three major companies running out of Texas prior to the complete and utter destruction of the territorial system. Among their claims to fame is the fact that SCW actually had a TV deal on the USA Network before the WWF took that slot over.
Match Numero Uno: Sherri Martel vs. Judy Martin
Sherri, who the majority of folks will know from her runs in the AWA, WWF, and WCW, is very young here and doesn't look nearly as frightening as she would eventually become. Martin, meanwhile, is more of a journeyman who never really got much national exposure despite having a career that went on forever and ever. (Though she did have a cup of tea with the WWF.) Martin catches the less experienced woman with a forearm, but she's quickly caught off guard by a dropkick from Martel. After a brief rest, the two lock horns, this time with Martel getting a headlock that is quickly broken thanks to some illegal use of the hair by Judy. Martin decides that she's had enough of the feeling out process and forearms Sherri to take control. It almost seems like Sherri is naked without another word beginning with "S" tacked on to the front of her name. Judy then takes her elbow to Martel's face, and a snapmare/legdrop combo keeps the youngster down. A slam follows, but leg drop number two fails, allowing Sherri to take control with a forearm of her own. There's a back body drop too, and then our heroine decides to captialize with my least favorite move ever in the history of pro wrestling. I don't think it has a name, but you know what I'm talking about. It's the dreaded move in which your opponent's head is placed in between your legs and you then jump up in to the air. That's it. That's the move. WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DOES THAT ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISH?! Whatever it's meant to do, it works so well for Sherri that she hits a second one. A third is attempted, but Judy ends the insanity by reversing it in to a back body drop. That officially made her my new role model. She would've hit diety status if she'd just no sold the stupid thing and stared at Sherri like she was some sort of insane crack whore. Martin follows up with a boot that quite clearly misses by a mile, and she then gets a lariat and a forearm for one. Martel comes back by clamping on a headlock, and she foils Martin's counter with a big lariat. A nearly botched sequence sees Martin eventually come away with a double chicken wing, and she elevates Sherri from that position. Before she can do anything, however, Martel rolls through and cradles for three.
Match Thoughts: Until the finish, it was a pretty short but solid little match. If offensive moves didn't evolve and get flashier in the twenty-first century, I think this would pretty much be exactly what a modern day WWE women's match would look like. Well, if you discount the fact that neither Martel nor Martin bear any resemble to former fitness models. This nets *1/2, though it could have been at least a point higher if it wasn't for the miscalculations towards the end, which, ironically, both appear to be the fault of the more experienced Judy Martin.
Match Numero Dos: Shawn Michaels vs. Ken Johnson
This is, in fact, THE Shawn Michaels, at the tender age of twenty years old and still covered in baby fat. Ken Johnson is a man. A man with no exciting backstory, and an even less exciting name. To establish himself as the babyface early on, Michaels gives us a clean break after pushing Kenny in to the corner. An armbar reversal sequence follows, and some general rolling around on the mat builds to Michaels hitting a shoulder block and a cross body for two. He then clamps on a head lock, slips out of it temporarily to land a dropkick, and then clamps the thing right back on. Johnson reverses it in to a backdrop suplex, however, and he follows that up with a slam and an elbow. That won't keep the youngster down for too long, though, and the two are quickly trading punches. Ken takes advantage again with a kneelift, and a backbreaker gets one for the future no-name. Shawn is showing a bit of fire again with a series of punches, but Johnson whips him in to the buckle, only to miss a blind charge. Kenny then gets sent in to the buckle by Michaels, and the youngster lands the big ten punch spot before backflipping off the ropes and in to the center of the ring. He follows it up with a back body drop and a pair of dropkicks before landing a very crisp powerslam for the three count.
Match Thoughts: Again, this wasn't very long or very epic, but it shed some light on just how quick a learner Michaels was. This was incredibly early in to his career, and he was already moving in the ring like a veteran, and pulling out stuff that would've seemed downright revolutionary at the time, coming off like an early-80's Rey Misterio. Of course, he wasn't given a whole lot to work with, as this was essentially a squash included on the compilation just to show off the incredibly rare footage of the Heartbreak Kid. Thus, the match only gets *1/2, but it's worth a look if you're a Michaels fan or want to see an interesting bit of history.
Match Numero Tres: The Dynamic Duo (Gino Hernandez & Tully Blanchard) vs. The Grapplers (c) w/ Don Carson for the Southwest Tag Team Championship
This is an interesting heel vs. heel matchup, as the Grapplers were newcomers to Southwest Championship Wrestling attempting to supplant the Duo as the top assholes in the tag team division. The crowd choses Gino and Tully as default faces in this match simply based on the fact that they're not seen as "outsiders." And, for the record, I'll be calling the two Grapplers by their shoot names, not because I'm trying to prove what a smarkity smark I am, but rather because even though I can tell them apart, I can't remember who was Grappler #1 and who was Grappler #2. Hernandez starts off with Tony Anthony, and the two lock up with Gino being sent in to the ropes. Anthony quickly goes behind on a second lockup and takes his man down, but Hernandez hooks the ropes to break the hold and then trips up the Grappler just for a little bit of insult. The two then trade off to their partners, and Len Denton gets in a big punch that sends Blanchard back in to the corner. Denton follows up with a full nelson, and there's a MALFUNCTION AT THE JUNCTION when Hernandez tries to save. Len applies a headlock as a result, and he trades off to Anthony, who comes in with a back elbow. He gets a snap mare and an elbow drop in for a one count before applying a chinlock and periodically breaking it up to drop a knee in to Blanchard's back.
The masked men switch places again, and Denton picks up right where Anthony left off, delivering more knees to Tully's back. He then slaps on the chinlock, and Blanchard eventually beals him out of it, only to be cut off at the last second while going for a tag. Tully is then sent shoulder first in to the turnbuckle in one of his trademark bumps, but he staggers out of it and gets the hot tag to Hernandez. Naturally, Gino cleans house on both of the heels with a series of punches and bionic elbows, and he tags out once the bad guys are taken care of. That leaves us with Blanchard and Anthony in the ring, and Tully blasts him with a kneelift as well as a shot to the throat. He then goes up to the second rope and gets an elbow drop for two count. A chinlock is then applied, but the Dirty White Boy fights out of it as we go to what would've been a commercial break in the original broadcast. When we come back, it's Hernandez and Anthony going at it, and Len Denton comes in off the top rope with a big shot to Gino as the referee is distracted. (Note that top rope moves were a DQ in Southwest at this point.) Regardless, Blanchard still makes his way in to the ring, but Anthony goes to the eyes and hits a back elbow/fist drop combo before tagging out to Denton. He gets two off of a lariat and brings his partner right back in for a series of kneedrops and elbowdrops that all culminate in a one count. Denton then comes in with a swinging neckbreaker for two, and he reapplies the chinlock. Blanchard manages to worm out a bit, but the Grapplers have the referee distracted, preventing him from seeing the big tag to Hernandez.
He also misses the Grapplers making an illegal switch, but the switch actually creates an opening for Tully to finally get the big tag to Gino. Hernandez once again cleans house on the masked men, all leading up to a dropkick on Anthony that gets one. Hernandez tags right out to Tully, a move of questionable wisdom. It doesn't really seem to matter, though, as he drops Anthony with a backbreaker for two before tagging out to Gino. Hernandez looks to roll up his Grappler and collides with Blanchard, who was on the apron. The rollup is successful regardless, getting the Dynamic Duo a three count and the Southwest Tag Team Championship. Everybody rejoices . . . and then Tully nails Gino from behind with a title belt! (Don't ask me why he waited until the end of the title match to do this one, a question echoed by Jim Cornette in his commentary.) There looks to be a beatdown by Mr. Blanchard, but Gino makes a brief comeback and the future Horseman flees from the ring. Then, because it's just not Gino's day, the Grapplers try to beat him down as well, but the angry Latino easily takes on both men and runs them out of the ring. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you How to Establish a New Babyface 101.
Match Thoughts: Really good tag team stuff right here. Blanchard played a very good face-in-peril, as it looked like he was constantly fighting for that hot tag. Typical rest holds weren't just an opportunity to rest. Instead, Tully was constantly struggling to get out of them and make his way to the corner. Additionally, the Grapplers played a solid if unspectacular heel team, managing trade offs nicely without them every getting repetitive. Finally, Hernandez showed good fire in both of the big comebacks he made on behalf of the team, which only served to further his establishment as a major force in the post-match angle. ***, and it probably would've seemed even more impressive in its own era.
Match Numero Cuatro: Gino Hernandez vs. Tully Blanchard
And Wrestling Gold overcomes one of the major problems of every other wrestling compilation ever made, as they show a blowoff to a feud after showing the match that established it. Most other places just would've left us hanging. We've got a guest referee here, and he's apparently a big boxing star . . . Ernie something-or-other. I unfortunately don't know the sport and am too lazy to look for the correct last name, so we'll just stick with Ernie. Blanchard stalls a bit to start, but the duo eventually locks up only to have Tully bail again after a big punch from Gino. Lockup number two sees Blanchard get in a kneelift and a few punches, but Hernandez manages to reverse the momentum and send him in to the turnbuckle. A series of punches and elbows follows from our babyface, and the promoter's son takes a powder yet again. He's briefly back in, but Hernandez just beats the poor guy right back to the outside in short order. Tully makes his way back in, but Gino tosses him. It's like the arena floor is magnetic and Blanchard's ass is made out of cast iron. The Brainbuster reenters one more time, and he begs off. Normally you'd think the intelligent heel was suckering in the idiot babyface, but that's simply not the case here as Gino grabs the man and sends him in to the turnbuckles not once, not twice, but thrice . . . and Tully is taking those bumps like a MAN.
Hernandez misses a Stinger splash, though, and now we get our bit of heel dominance. A series of elbows leads to Gino being tied up in the ropes, but Ernie manages to keep Blanchard at bay before Hernandez can suffer any serious damage. A vertical suplex follows for Tully, and now Hernandez is bleeding for some reason that I can't really figure out. Gino then takes a HUGE bump down to the floor off of an Irish whip in to the buckle, and Blanchard follows him to the outside with an elbow from the apron. Tully tosses him as soon as he gets back in to the ring, with Hernandez taking out the contents of the timekeeper's table as he falls. Tully gets an elbow off of the table and to the floor, and Gino's head is sent in to the furniture before the two head right back in to the ring. Tully sets up for a piledriver, but it's reversed in to a big back body drop, and Hernandez dropkicks his man to the floor. Gino sees his own blood for the first time, and you know it's on like a big steamin' pile of neckbone now. Hernandez heads to the outside and blasts Blanchard with the ring bell, so I'm assuming that either this one is no DQ or our pal Ernie really isn't well acquainted with the rules of professional wrestling. ha, I just implied that wrestling has RULES. What a fool I am. Both men are bleeding now, just for the record. Back on the inside, Blanchard is sent in to all four of the turnbuckles, and he falls out on to the timekeeper's table. Gino sees a microphone handy on said table, so he pops Tully in the head with it and then bites away at the wound, not letting go for the life of him.
After what seems like two straight minutes of biting, Tully gets whipped in to a bionic elbow and eats a vertical suplex. His attempt at a top rope elbow misses, however, and it looks like Blanchard just might take home the victory. However, he makes the mistake of getting in to an argument with Ernie, and you know what happens when wrestling heels get in the face of guest boxers. BAM! Tully eats a cross, and Hernandez heads up for a big splash that nets him the victory. He actually did the whole Rob Van Dam "changing directions in midair" bit about twenty years before RVD ever did it. Post-match, we get perhaps the single worst slow-motion replay ever, as it clearly shows Gino's legs hitting the mat about two minutes before any part of his body made contact with Blanchard. Whoops.
Match Thoughts: Quality old school brawl right here. Hernandez was just allowed to tear in to Blanchard, giving the crowd exactly what they wanted to see. Personally I would have liked to have seen a bit more time devoted to Tully getting heat on his man in the early going, thus making the comeback of Gino even more dramatic. It was particularly odd to see all of the weapons used in the match being used on the heel instead of the babyface taking his licks as well. Still an intense go of things regardless of the minor flaws, though. ***
Match Numero Cinco: Bob Orton, Jr. vs. Adrion Adonis for the Southwest Championship Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship
This was part of an incredibly unsuccessful attempt by Southwest to establish their own version of the World Heavyweight Title, but they managed to get Lou Thesz in to give the whole deal a little more credibility. Well, I should probably say "credibility" since he had a ten year run where it seemed like his entire job was running from territory to territory and handing championship belts to tournament winners. The contenders lock up and trade armbar reversals, with Bob eventually coming out the winner in a top wristlock contest. Adonis is undaunted, however, and he shoves Bob in to the corner before bealing him out. A jumping headscissor takedown follows. Let me repeat that. Adrian Adonis just JUMPED UP ON TO A MAN'S SHOULDERS AND TOOK HIM DOWN. If you're a fan who got turned on to wrestling during the Monday Night Wars, I implore you to do an image search on Adrian Adonis so you can look at the man and thus be fully impressed by that sentence. Adonis works the headscissors a bit, but Orton eventually gets out and shoots for Adrian's head. He misses, however, and Adonis makes him pay by trapping him in a hammerlock. The Cowboy finds his way out and gets a snap mare, only to get caught up in a backslide by Adonis for two. A frustrated Orton leaves the ring for a bit to regain his senses.
When Junior comes back in, he gets a drop toe hold and an armbar, but Adonis reverses that with a hiptoss. Adrian then jumps at him again, but Orton catches the larger man, only to have Adonis roll him up in to a small package from that position. The pinning combination gets two, and Adonis spins him in to a hammerlock. For our second consecutive match, there's inexplicable blood, as apparently Orton's armbar managed to slice open Adrian's forehead. Anyway, the New Yorker gets in a shoulderblock, but Orton mounts a comeback with a monkey flip, which he then follows with an armdrag and another armbar. Adonis then slams his man in to the turnbuckle, but the tenacious Orton won't even let go of the hold. He tries to flip the armbar in to a pinning predicament, but it only gets one. A kneedrop to the limb follows, but Adonis finally manages to whip Orton off of him. A pair of shoulderblocks follow for Ace, but he's caught by an inverted atomic drop for two. Adonis slams him and goes up to the second rope, but his big splash hits Orton's knees, allowing the Cowboy to drop an elbow for two. He then applies a headlock, but Adrian rolls him up for another nearfall, and things finally break down to Orton just throwing punches. A snap mare follows from the second generation wrestler, and he stomps on Adonis' head for good measure. A knee drop gets two, and he goes for a bulldog . . .
. . . but Adonis shoves him off! Adrian gets a chop and looks to Irish whip his man, only to have Bob reverse it. An atomic drop follows, and Orton sits Adonis up on the top rope for a suplerplex. Adrian fights him off, however, and both men go back down to the mat where they run in to each other with simultaneous shoulderblocks. There's no real advantage to be had as the two turn to their feet, but Orton makes the mistake of throwing a wild punch, and he's caught in the sleeper hold! Good night, Irene! Well, not quite, as Orton manages to free himself and reverses Adonis' second attempt in to a sleeper of his own. I think that may have been the loudest pop for a sleeper hold I've ever heard. Adonis shoves him off and looks for a back body drop, but he telegraphs the move and allows Orton to roll him up. Adonis reverses the hold at two, however, and he gets a three count and the championship!
Match Thoughts: A lot of this was based around holds in an effort to do a very old school match that would have gone along with the championship style of Thesz' area . . . or rather what wrestling from Thesz' era would have been perceived as being by fans from the 1980's. Twenty-first century fans or non-fans might not necessarily have liked this all too much, as it essentially meant a lot of time on the mat. However, there were a lot of really good subtle moves from both men involved that made the bout worthwhile. It was wrestling that looked like an actual athletic competition as opposed to an acrobatic show or a street fight, and I'm all for that whenever I can get it. ***1/2
The next "match" is actually just some footage of Abdullah the Butcher and Bruiser Brody brawling. I'm not going to really review it, as it's essentially just a bunch of punching and choking. We're joined in progress, so I can't even tell if a real match ever started. The fight out of the ring, the fight in the ring, and then they take the brawl through the audience, where Brody finds a random piece of wood and starts gouging at Abby with it. You know, there are wrestlers of the modern era that might be a lot bigger and a lot stronger, such as Lashley or Batista, but I'd be about a hundred times more frightened to meet Brody in a dark alley than I would either of them.
Match Numero Seis: Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott Casey (Joined in Progress)
Hey, remember when Larry had hair? According to the original commentary, this one is joined about ten minutes in, as the two are fighting over a top wristlock. Zbyszko comes out on top and gets in the headlock/shoulder block combo as well as an armdrag. Casey comes back with a kick, but he misses the elbow drop, which allows Larry Z. to slap on a chinlock. You know, I can think of about twenty better different was of capitalizing on that situation right off the top of my head. Anyway, Casey begins to fight out of the move, so Zbyszko adapts a little bit and changes it in to a side headlock. In a nifty counter, that gets turned in to a backbreaker by Scotty, and he follows up with a gut wrench suplex. A kneedrop then gets two for the Texan as Larry manages to put his foot on the bottom rope. Larry then gets a kick in to take control and sends Casey out on to the dreaded ringside table. His head is slammed in to it a couple of times, and Larry continues his dominance with a slam and a kneelift back on the inside. Casey reverses a vertical suplex attempt in to one of his own, and he then falls on top out of a Larry Zbyszko slam attempt. That gets a nearfall, and Casey follows up with a butterfly suplex and the good ole' Rude Awakening. The sleeper is then applied, but Larry makes it to the ropes. As soon as Scott is forced to release the hold, the Cruncher trips him up with a double leg and cradles him with his feet on the ropes for the cheap three count. Eric Embry and Tully Blanchard make their way out to argue for Casey and Zbyszko respectively, and that turns in to a big ole' fight. Stan Hansen eventually runs out and saves for the faces. Damn, I want to see some Stan Hansen action. No rating on this one, as there were ten whole minutes missing.
Match Numero Siete: Jerry Lawler vs. Bob Sweetan
Both men are masters of the piledriver, and everybody's excited to see the match on that fact alone. Ahhh, I long for the days when booking was simple and people didn't have to have sex with people's sisters and then tar and feather them in a fit of post-coital anger in order to set up a feud. There's essentially eight straight minutes of Lawler stalling at the start. Granted, I didn't look up the exact time, but I'm not attempting to exaggerate. There's a whole vicious cycle where he'll pretend that he's about to lock up and then bail from the ring before going to gab on the mic a little bit. The cycle repeats itself four times before we get an actual bit of action, as Sweetan manages to grab Lawler long enough to attempt a piledriver. In a very smart counter, however, Lawler entangles his legs in the nearby ropes to prevent his being lifted fully. He bails for a fifth time as a result of that, making the claim that in his hometown of Memphis, where "civilized people" wrestle, the piledriver has been outlawed. He heads back in to the ring and goes for the eyes, and, in a hilarious moment, tries to convince the referee that it was actually just an open palm strike to the forehead. The King gets in a snap mare as well, but he misses a fist drop. That sets up another piledriver attempt from Sweetan, but Lawler charges him back in to the corner to cut it off. The Bruiser counters that with a simple kick and applies an arm bar as the ringside announcer tells us that the match has been going on for TEN MINUTES. Think about the actual amount of wrestling I've written about and that puts how long Lawler's chicanery took in to perspective.
Anyway, Lawler comes out of the hold with some punches, and he gets a pair of elbow drops, each of which gets its own respective two count. Sweetan fires back with a backdrop for his own nearfall, as Lawler's foot makes its way to the bottom rope. A second backdrop appears to get the win for Mr. Piledriver, but Lawler manages to convince the referee that his foot was on the rope before the three count when, in reality, it was placed there less than a second afterwards. For some reason, the official takes the word of a man who is a renowned cheater, and the match continues. As soon as the restart is made, Sweetan runs directly in to Lawler's boot, and the King manages to roll him up – again with the feet on the ropes – to score a three count and majorly piss off the Texas crowd. Then, just because it was really necessary, Sweetan finally manages to get the piledriver on Lawler after the bell. Solid booking to continue a feud there. The heel Lawler can claim that his victory stands, but the people know in their hearts that Sweetan is actually the better man, as he a.) only lost due to his opponent's cheating and b.) was the last man standing at the end of the war.
Match Thoughts: Lawler's stalling in the beginning just killed this one for me, as one might expect. It was an EXTREMELY effective way of getting heat from a crowd twenty years ago that may have actually believed that Lawler was a bad, bad man. However, when you watch it retroactively and don't necessarily have that emotional connection, it can get rather tedious. And, of course, there was nothing horribly spectacular to redeem the bout after the stall-fest. *
Match Numero Ocho: The Dynamic Duo (c, Gino Hernandez & Tully Blanchard) vs. Terry Funk & Ivan Putski for the Southwest Tag Team Championship
They're baaaaack! This comes from before the breakup that we saw earlier on the DVD, and we are joined in progress with Tully Blanchard getting a neckbreaker on a bloodied Terry Funk for two. Hernandez tags in and gets a dropkick, but Putski saves before the pinfall can be made. Blanchard comes right back in, and he gets a piledriver and an elbowdrop for two, as I wonder how Funk can logically kick out of that one given the mystique surrounding the move at the time. Tully then locks in a front facelock to prevent Terry from making it to the corner, and Gino comes back in for a vertical suplex. His crappy second rope elbow gets nearfall, and Blanchard is brought back to work a headlock. Funk shoves off the future preacher, however, and he takes over with a buncha punches. The referee gets in the way and is shoved down by the Funker, who continues to pound away on the champ. The official gets back to his feet and grabs Funk in a full nelson in a very surreal visual. Tully takes that opportunity to ram a high impact shoulder in to Funk's gut, which takes out both the zebra and the former NWA Champion. Then, just because the poor guy hasn't been abused enough yet, Terry adds to the referee's pain by slamming Hernandez right down on top of him. That triggers the hot tag, and there's a big four way brawl. Putski gets a pinning combo off of something that the cameras completely missed, and Ricky Morton is out to count the three for him.
Of course, he's not an actual referee, and the Dynamic Duo takes him apart with a pair of brass knux for his insolence in impersonating a professional wrestling official. A shot from the second rope with the dreaded weapon puts Morton down for good, but his tag partner Ken Lucas runs in for the save, and eventually all four babyfaces are demolishing the heels. Hernandez and Blanchard take home the victory off of a DQ for Morton's involvement, though. Again, I'm not going to rate it because I have no clue how much was actually clipped off in the beginning, but the brawl at the end (starting with the ref bumps) was EXCELLENT. All of the tossing of the referee around actually looked chaotic and out of control as opposed to something that was happening in a carefully choreographed sport. Additionally, Ricky Morton was taking a big time beating, and NOBODY takes a big time beating better than Ricky Morton does. He seriously made the Duo look about ten times more deadly than they would have if anybody else was in there. It's definitely a quick segment, but it's a damn fun one that makes for a nice bumper between full matches on the compilation.
Match Numero Nueve: Dick Slater vs. Southwest Heavyweight Champion the Mongolian Stomper w/ Don Carson in a Steel Cage Match (Joined in Progress)
The Stomper just recently took the belt off of Slater, and this is a non-title match . . . why? Because all Dick wants is revenge, baby. The feud is so intense that only Bob Sweetan could control it, so he's the referee. You'd think that the big metal cage would be enough to keep everything on the up and up, but apparently you also need the world's ugliest man in the ring in order to scare the heels out of interfering. We are yet again joined in progress as the Stomper is taking apart Slater piece by piece. The former champion is sent in to the mesh cage, and it becomes apparent that he's already bleeding. A claw hold follows from the Stomper, but Slater elbows out, only to have the big "foreigner" go to his eyes and reapply the hold after another trip in to the cage. This time Slater backdrops his way out of the claw, but Stomper responds by grating his opponent's head against the mesh and, you guessed it, putting the claw hold right back on. He gets a pair of two counts as Slater's shoulders meet the mat while his head is being squeezed, and this time Dick punches his way out of the evil man's grasp. Dirty Dick pummels and chokes his man in the corner before slamming his head in to the cage and getting in some grating of his own. Then, Slater goes up to the top rope (with his head poking out over the top of the pathetically short cage) and comps off with a big stomp on to the Stomper. Poetic justice, ladies and gentlemen.
Slater follows it up with a snap mare, but his subsequent elbow drop attempt gets nothing but mat. A slam follows from the Stomper, but Dick manages to grab a leg and trip him up, leading to a series of chops from the Funk impersonator. However, Dickie is quickly thrown in to Sweetan, allowing Stomper to remove his boot and smash Slater with it. Okay, maybe I just haven't been walloped upside the head with enough things in my life, but why is swinging a boot at somebody's head so much more dangerous than just stomping them there? It seems really illogical that wrestlers get DQ'ed for one but not the other. I guess that's just one of life's little mysteries. Anyway, Sweetan is quick to snatch the boot away, and the Stomper shoves him, allowing Slater to pick up the so-called weapon and blast the bigger man with it for a three count. After the match is over, Slater continues his attack with the boot, but Don Carson hits the ring for a distraction, and the Stomper locks in a cobra clutch on the former champ. In the meantime, Sweetan has somehow wound up locked out of the cage, so he's no good. The big Mongolian lets go of his hold and begins using Carson's loaded up black glove, and then some of the wrestlers in the locker room finally figure out that the cage only extends about six inches above the regular height of the ring, and they run in to save. Sweetan does the majority of the work, and then Cocoa Samoa strolls in about twenty minutes later to take some credit as well. Smart man, that Samoa. Again no rating due to clipping, but it was pretty dull. Half of the match was spent in a claw hold for chrissakes.
Match Numero Deis: Nick Bockwinkel (c) w/ Bobby Heenan vs. Bruiser Brody for the AWA World Heavyweight Championship (Joined in Progress)
This is still in San Antonio, but Nick is putting his AWA Title on the line, as there was really a push for him to do that sort of thing in order to establish the championship as a true "world" title. Your special guest referee here is none other than Lou Thesz, who is wearing a fetching red sash for the occasion. We're joined roughly eight or nine minutes in, as Bockwinkel works over a headscissors. The big scary guy eventually gets out of it and hits a knee drop, with Bockwinkel firing back with a double sledge. Brody responds with a punch to the gut, and the champion's subsequent sledge shots are all no-sold as the Texan applies a bearhug, shoving Bockwinkel back in to the corner. Obviously that leads to a break, and Bockwinkel manages to take his opponent down in to the headscissors again. Brody responds by rolling to the ropes and eventually out of the floor after some Bockwinkel punches. Nick sends his head in to the apron before the challenger returns to the ring, and Mr. Goodish dishes out some more fists before tossing the champion from the ring. Bockwinkel is then sent face first in to the timekeeper's table a couple of times, and the Bruiser goes up to the top rope when the two return to the ring. He comes off with a tomahawk style chop to the champ's head, and a series of stomps gets him a one count. Bockwinkel wisely takes a powder, but Brody gets him back in to the ring and slams the intellectual blond. It's time to cheat, my friends. Heenan trips up Brody, which leads to the manager being chased around on the outside briefly. It doesn't throw Brody off of his game plan, however, as he slams Bockwinkel again back on the inside and hits his big kneedrop finish. Everybody thinks we've got a new champion, but the Brain punches the beast in the face at the two count, drawing a disqualification. He gets pulled in to the ring and beaten down as a result, and both manager and charge are tossed over the top rope. Brody then grabs a chair and chases everybody off, and our heels head back to the dressing room in order to put an end to the compilation. Again, not enough to rate here, as over half the match was gone.
Overall
The majority of the matches on this volume of the series are pretty clipped up, but the ones that remain in their entirety are all above average bouts (with one exception). However, it really isn't the whole matches that a compilation like this should be watched for. Regardless of match quality, throughout the DVD you see all sorts of tiny things that separate the style of wrestling fifteen to twenty years ago from the style of wrestling that is predominate today, be it the slower yet just as engaging pace of the matches or the way that Jerry Lawler holds the crowd in the palm of his hand without actually doing anything that would burn more than twenty calories. Even if you're convinced that you're not going to like the old school style of wrestling, the price tag can still be justified by the history lesson. Buy this and buy this NOW if you haven't already.
