News to Start Your Weekend 10.13.06
Posted by Nick Marsico on 10.13.2006
A new format, a bunch of talking points, and just an overall GLLLORIOUS~! column. Oh, and hi, I'm Nick Marsico and I'm back.
Where the shit have I been? Shit, it's too bad I thought of this literally moments after writing that first sentence, because I wanted to try to write an entire column without any potty language. I didn't want to be offensive or use any naughty words, but I guess that's out the window, kind of like the silly sentiment of WWE. We apologize for showing nudity at No Mercy, we are a family friendly company and do not condone that sort of action, now watch EXTREEEEEM Strip Poker this Tuesday night on ECW! Somebody WILL get naked! Oops.
So we are officially 4 months away from my 21st birthday, coming up February 13. Plan early for the presents you shall most certainly be purchasing for the wondrous occasion. Anyshit, I missed the last two weeks of action here at 411 on the Friday news, although in my absence I have picked up a new column (SPECULATION FOREVER~!) in which I will be making my debut in this week's upcoming edition, so look forward to that. By the way, "anyshit" is my newest favourite word. What does it mean? Well multiple things. It can mean "anyway", as I used it in this case, as well as "anyone" in certain situations. I love it. In any event (see, could have used ‘anyshit', but I want to use it in moderation – can't burn it out), I had a fill in two weeks ago; I can't remember who the crap it was, but it was somebody good I'm sure, and last week I just happened to be quite busy and doing this little thing right here slipped my mind. I'll try to make up for it, you bunch of queers who read me. QUEERS, all of ya.
I'm also going to be doing some SmackDown recaps, like the old days, although it's going to be more critique style rather than straight recap style, which is something I've wanted to do forever. So that's cool. I think I'm also going to start going with a looser style for this column. The format and just overall structured nature of the whole thing is just too tedious for me and it often makes this column not very much fun to write, and that the exact opposite of the reason I originally wanted to join this site. So from here on in it's just going to be loosely structured and just generally easier for me to write. Basically, more like a column and less like a news report. With that, I might as well start talking about some more news, since I've only thus far touched on the Regal apology stuff. The Regal thing was pretty great, though (no, not his cock). Here's part of the statement from the dot com:
"Nudity of any kind, even in a live television environment, is offensive to our audience and to the reputation of our company."
And then they hype strip poker the way they did! Jesus in heaven, I mean come on.
So Kurt Angle finally made his debut on iMPACT, but earlier in the week TNA posted up some footage of him arriving at the studios in Orlando and meeting people and talking to old friends, and it was a pretty good short little piece. It was out of character stuff, which was a nice change of pace for a lot of the stuff we see usually, especially from the E, where even when they do something kind of out of character, there's always a lot of kayfabe sports entertainy garbage mixed in. They have so much trouble being truly candid and real, which is really fucking annoying in 2006 when the business has been exposed so much that it's barely worth it to be kayfabed up any time that isn't on an actual wrestling show. Not even at appearances, and ESPECIALLY not on the road.
I don't know the segue here, but how about the new SmackDown writing team? Good thing? Bad thing? It's going to be tough to say until Hayes and the newest newcomer Jimmy Garvin have written at least a month's worth of shows, but I can't see how this can't improve the show. It was already good, but I have a feeling that now that two WRESTLERS are writing the show (and since Stephiepoo is still on maternity leave), it can only get more gooder for the time being. By the way, Pat Patterson is back again now, too, as an agent. Maybe Sylvan will get a World Title push now.
Speaking of SmackDown, Psicosis has been arrested. Water guns are HARDCORE for HARDCORE LUCHADORES~! There's a joke in there somewhere about the pregnant lady he hit and her water breaking, but I can't seem to get to it.
Hell, even more SmackDown, as Mysterio is finally going to leave for knee surgery that he's needed forever, as they'll be doing an I Quit match at the SuperShow taping this Sunday night. I don't know about these gimmick matches getting all over each other, though. They just did an I Quit at SummerSlam, and it appears that they're going to make "Loser Leaves SmackDown" an official stipulation too, which is ridiculous, not only because they JUST did one on RAW this week, but also because if they keep the stipulation up and Rey ends up on RAW when he returns, I'll just be annoyed. Fuck RAW. I also hope Chavo doesn't lose his push once the Rey feud is over. Just keep him away from Eddy stuff (if he feuds with Benoit over Eddy next I'll jump off a first floor balcony – I'll sprain my damn ankle in anger, people) and transition Vicky off TV, or just let her disappear and never show up again after the match on next week's SmackDown.
In other disappearing act news, Francine is gone, but then she really only appeared three times anyway, and one of the times was just standing backstage at the catering table. Not good riddance, but she won't be missed. Her time has long passed, as much as I liked her years ago. Dawn Marie is still the best woman ever in ECW, though, even better than Woman herself. Dawn was a really cute chick when she was young, too. The bigger news here is that Brent Albright has been released, which is quite ridiculous. He could turn out to be an asset to TNA, but I'm probably getting ahead of myself. It's just a shame, because he did a lot of good stuff in OVW. Odd how I called Albright's firing bigger news and proceeded to write less about it than I did Francine's.
UFC had a pretty good show Tuesday night (certainly better than ECW), and got a good cable rating, too. Shamrock/Ortiz went about exactly like everybody thought it would… it was basically Tito/Ken II, just a minute and a half longer. I dislike Ken a lot less now than I did going into it, though. Class act, I guess, and if they can bury the hatchet, so can I, as it were. I still haven't watched UFC63 yet, and 64 is tomorrow night already. I'm gonna get myself backlogged again. Dash it all!
A bunch of dopey kids spray painted DX all over the place in some small town again. I say off with their heads. Spray paint is the nWo's thing anyway, and it never was DX's thing. They did use it a couple times in their heyday, but come on. Maybe THAT is how they're going to bring about the nWo feud. See what I do now?
The Television Section
I lied… there's a little bit of order to this thing. Not a lot, but just a little break in the action for a little heading. Enjoy it~!
As far as developments on TV this week, RAW was quite good, but it was all thanks to the presence of ECW and SmackDown. 8 matches, which is quite amazing for RAW, although SmackDown routinely does 7 matches with an hour less, and they don't need talent from the other two rosters for half of them like we got on RAW on Monday. Nothing was bad, though, but I don't honestly give a shit enough to really speak at length about it. ECW, well… let's ignore that that ever happened.
And the best show, SmackDown, has some sweet matches lined up for tonight:
United States Championship
Champion Mr. Kennedy vs. Chris Benoit
Montel Vontavious Porter vs. Kane
Jamie Noble vs. Rey Mysterio
Six Man Tag Team Match
Brian Kendrick, Paul London & Jimmy Wang Yang vs. KC James, Idol Stevens & Sylvan
#1 Contendership for the World Heavyweight Championship
Batista vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Finlay
I'll be doing the critique recap of the show, so check that out right after it airs on the CW tonight. I don't know how often I'm going to be doing it, but I'll get to it once in a while if not more. We'll see, though.
And I know it's not TV, but go check out the new ROH Video Wire, and all of the other stuff you can watch on the video section of the site. It's good shit. I'm totally going to get to be in Philly on 11/4 to see Homicide take on Corino (or Codido, as ‘Cide might call him), plus the Tag Title rematch between CHIKARA Campeones de Parejas Hero & Castagnoli and Aries & Strong, a rematch of the Glory by Honor show in NYC on 9/16 that I also got the pleasure of seeing. Fantastic. Plus KENTA vs. Matt Sydal and the Briscoes against Davey Richards and Delirious. As Ultra Mantis Black might say: GLLLORIOUS~!
Check out this shit
RocketBusta Radio, the weekly radio show/podcast that myself and some internet budddays of mine do. This Saturday night we will be airing an interview with referee extraordinaire Bryce Remsburg, and other fantastic stuff such as me, fully voiced up and talkificating to you, the lowly masses. We're going to be interviewing Eddie Kingston and B-Boy in the near future as well, among some other possible interviews throughout the next few months. Just click the link and surf the site. Check out Team Game Online as well, the main site that RBR and so many other wonderful things emanates from.
Hayhurst and Cook came right before me this week with the news reports, LaFave is doing some wacky thing with a TNA guy in WWE, Byers has some Cheap Wrestling for you cheap fucks, more Cook as the new Ask 411 head man, Gamble is continuing his new column and Larry has his take on something or other. As always, just go right to the Wrestling Section and check out whatever interests you. We got some talented writers on staff here. SOME.
Mainly me.
That's the end of that. Send me some emails, chumpstains.
