Story Lines 10.15.06: Bobby The Brain - Wrestling's Bad Boy Tells All
Posted by Mike Hamflett on 10.15.2006
Wrestling bears and comparing Vince McMahon's clothes to hotel shower curtains on TV. Pretty big balls for a weasel.
Wow, did I ever choke out on the roundtable last week?! I think I got Mysterio, Booker and MVP and flubbed the rest. Oops. Oh, and I know this is not my zone or time or anything, but I'd really like to say that even though there was more time and some multi-brand fun, I thought Raw Family Reunion was one of the best episodes in years. It stressed just how well the brand extension is working, making glamour in inter-brand contests, and I was flawed by the awesome Edge/Orton alliance, using the perfect mix of actual footage from years ago plus enough of the shoot-comments-that-aren't-supposed-to-be-shoot-comments to make it a phenomenal promo and non-ridiculous way of making a feud out of thin air. Top marks all around, great show. On with the column.
Prologue
Not so long ago, WWE brought out a DVD about the greatest managers the business had ever seen. Older generations of the wrestling business, particularly the late 70s and 80s, loved using the manager for all the things a wrestler couldn't do. Whether it was to talk, take bumps, or even get the character over, the manager was often a crucial ingredient in the long-term success of the guy in question.
It was probably no coincidence that Bobby ‘The Brain' Heenan was the final man to get the profile treatment on the tape. He's never really screwed the company at any point, he hated WCW, and he will give a great sound bite on any DVD set they need at the time, plus he's on one of those cushy Legends deals, where WWE can sell as much Bobby Heenan stuff as they like and reap the benefits. Of course they want to make him look like the best.
But really, most people will agree on his placement of top dog anyway. Bobby Heenan was always the right man for the job, always. He seemed to be willing to mock himself just enough to not compromise the sleazy, cocky bigmouth his character was. A true legend that didn't even let a oft-criticised announcing gig in WCW kill his sense of passion that he had built up inside him since he was a kid breaking in, he was, and still is, pretty much untouchable when it comes to the fans that watched him as children, adults or both. So it goes without saying that a book would be just the ticket. Finally the man himself has agreed to open himself up to the humanoids. I'll finish my ham and eggs and jump right in.
Bobby The Brain – Wrestling's Bad Boy Tells All
Subject: The ghost-written autobiography of Bobby ‘The Brain' Heenan. Release Date: September 2002
Quick poll. Show of hands, who here doesn't love Bobby Heenan? Exactly. In fact, I don't think I've ever met a wrestling fan who didn't adore the man. Now, for the lifelong heel that he was, you would assume that it must mean he was a terrible worker, but no, this was not the case at all. Bobby Heenan was one of those fantastic performers who could entertain absolutely anyone, and that was why he was so beloved. When you love to hate someone, it's a special bond between the fan and the heel that makes for a much better show, and Bobby had that in spades.
Simply put, Bobby Heenan was one of the best that the business has ever seen. He came from the old school, and with it he brought such a fantastic fundamental understanding of what made money and how to put it all across. As a result, his story is a good old fashioned tale of a wrestler and manager who travelled across the territories, bled all over the place and paid every due there was to pay to earn his living and achieve his dreams of being famous for Pro Wrestling.
Thusly, without even trying to hard, this is a great little book. Although ghost-written, this is one of the better transfers, where less feels like a guy is recording, and more feels like Bobby is penning the words himself. This mainly shines through in Brain-like fashion in the way he delivers countless one-liners with effortless aplomb and the kind of stories you can actually hear him telling you. Quite honestly, because of that trait, it's probably one of the best in the genre.
One thing that did stick out in the book was that it was not a WWE product. This is not a massive knock on the thing, but as a result, I felt that Bobby was more inclined to talk about his time as a more active performer working the indies and the AWA rather than discussing the character he cultivated on an enormous global scale in the World Wrestling Federation. Maybe he wanted to use the book to have a more detailed look at his life as a wrestler to let people in on a side that many fans would not know all about. While I fully applaud that sentiment, I personally didn't think it should come at the expense of talking about the rest of his career. I suppose that depends on what your favourite flavour of Heenan was. As mine was his WWF Manager/Broadcast Journalist life, I felt like it was lacking.
That would lead to the only major beef with the book, which is that the whole thing is a little bit short. I can't work out if this is because the publishers had a page limit that they did not want the book to go over, or Bobby felt he had talked enough about everything, but regardless of why this was, it still stumbled in a big way. For a legend like Heenan, who has the age, experience and wealth of knowledge he has, a life story under two hundred pages not only feels stilted and reserved, but is too quick to let yourself get immersed into.
The funny thing is, this is only more disappointing because of the stuff he does talk about. The Brain has some wonderful stories, and you're gasping for more when the rug is pulled. His famous friendship with Gorilla Monsoon is a touching story that shines through the words here. He talks about a lot of the guys from the AWA in detail not evident in other books and DVD's about some of those guys. Wally Karbo, the Gagnes and Nick Bockwinkel get a lot of time, and Heenan reels off some killer one-liners about some of the one-offs and imports he worked with at the time. He has pretty much nothing nice to say about WCW whatsoever, opening fire specifically on Tony Schiavone and the other sycophants that helped flush the company down the toilet, and also has some incredible (and not always positive) tales to tell about just what it was like to be around Andre The Giant.
He also talks candidly about the amazingly difficult schedule Vince McMahon demanded out of his employees, and without really needing to toe the company line, is honest and open about where he felt Vince's strengths and flaws were, something very rarely touched upon in WWE-based books.
Like so many before him, Heenan understands the importance of timing, which is why he must have been pretty bummed when he realised he had about twenty pages left to discuss THE biggest thing in his life – his diagnosis of cancer. Much like some of the chapters about unimportant things (in comparison at least), the book ends with Heenan halfway through his treatment, which insensitively speaking, is no ending for the reader at all. Whether or not the publishers wanted to rush this out, or Heenan was just not up to it, the book ends at the biggest crossroad in his life, which makes for quite peculiar reading and the definite unfinished nature of the book weighing heavily on your mind.
As a second Heenan book was released a couple of years later, it's pleasing to note that this story is far from over, and suffice to say, that book will see discussion in this column at some point. And of course ultimately, as this book is 4 years old, we know the roads Heenan has travelled since then, so the end of ‘Wrestling's Bad Boy' is certainly less compelling as it may have been upon release in 2002. But that's why hindsight rules so much.
I can't in good faith discredit this book, because Heenan is one of my absolute favourites ever, and what he does pack in to this bite-size tome is good, if unfinished, stuff. Having said that, I feel that with a bit more time, the WWE's resources, and a little more meat to the leaner tales, there's an even better tale to be told from the Weasel.
Shorthand
Worst Bit: Breaking the chronology, Heenan dedicates a chapter to the celebrities he's met working in the wrestling business, rather than just mentioning them as he goes along. I didn't like this format, and the celebrities chapter (especially if you don't know all of them) is a little bit of a slog.
Best Bit: As stated above, for some reason, Heenan seems keen to talk most in depth about the AWA, and when he does, it's gold.
Buy It, Borrow It, Bin It: Maybe buy his second book, or hold fire for a few years in case a WWE project comes down the pike, but it's a great time filler and well worth the borrow.
