The Fink’s Payload 10.16.06: Stable (Re)formations!
Posted by Sforcina-Marsico on 10.16.2006
A new team, talking about bringing back old ones. Plus, your chance on shaping future Payloads!
Matt: Welcome, welcome, to a brand new era in The Fink's Payload! I am your old timer, comparatively, Mathew Sforcina. And I'm still happy that I've beaten the Demi-Boss in Fact or Fiction, since the one thing we disagreed upon, "The Marine"'s box office I was right about. It will probably make about the same as "See No Evil", but due to the hype and cost, it'll be seen as a flop rather than a success.
But enough of me tooting my own horn. I'll let my new partner in crime, Nick Marsico toot his horn for a bit…
Nick: Uh, hello. I'm a big fan of The Rock, and I decided to take this column because I wanted to see my name on this site more, since I only have one other full time weekly column, the News to Start Your Weekend. That, plus this seemed like a pretty decent concept and it could be interesting to write. I'm not personally a fan of fantasy booking and what not, but I often write about ideas for shit that I'd like to see happen in the future and I even did so in one of my recent news columns, so there's that. Oh, and for another cheap plug, I also wrote one of this week's SmackDown Reports, and it's all opiniony rather than straight up reviewtastic. Also, Sforcina sucks, and his name isn't hard to spell, it's just the dummies that work for the site who are big dummies that can't spell it. Dummies.
Matt: And that's enough of that. Now we get down to work. Last week, I set you the homework of asking which stables or tag teams you'd like to bring back. And we got some great responses, but alas, only 3 can go in here (apparently). The first one, and lucky guy to be Nick's first ever Payload entry, is Brandon Condra, and his idea is a first for the WWE too…
Over the course of the month, we see Ric Flair backstage on RAW watching matches on the monitor. On Smackdown and ECW during backstage segments Arn Anderson and Dean Malenko are also make occasional appearances, breaking up brawl, running errands typical stooge things that they do now. Finally, on RAW one night (preferably somewhere in Flair country) Flair, Arn, and Malenko make their way down to the special red carpeted ring wearing tuxedos.
Flair- "Ladies and Gentlemen, Whoo. Tonight you're going to witness history. Tonight you're going to see the rebirth of the single greatest stable ever in this business. Tonight the Four Horsemen return to the ring, Whoo. The Four Horsemen are not just a group of wrestlers teaming up. To be a Horseman you have to have something special, and with the help of two of the greatest Horsemen ever, I have found the men who will fit the Horseman mold. You see, the concept of the Four Horsemen worked because it was a template for success. Every incarnation was different, yet the same. The Horseman always needed a tag team specialist and a master ring technician (nods to Dean Malenko). Ladies I give to you Charlie Hass." Haas comes down to the ring without his music, clean shaven, and clad in a tux, shakes hands with everyone in the ring.
"The Horsemen always had to have an Anderson (nod to Arn), and Arn has found yet another switch from his great family tree to help whip our adversary with. Ladies and Gentleman I give to you the newest Enforcer of the Four Horseman Christopher W. Anderson." Anderson also in a tux and without music comes to the ring and shakes hands.
"The Horsemen always had a hot young talent, the Horseman always had sex appeal, and now the Horsemen have both in Johnny Nitro and Melina". No Paparazzi no music, just Nitro and Melina come out dressed to the nines and shake hands.
"One last thing the Horsemen always had was Ric Flair. I'm sorry to say that Ric Flairs best days are behind him. However, while I will manage this group of Horsemen, I have found the man who will replace take my spot as the leader of the Four Horseman. The man who will be world champ again, the man who will be the next Ric Flair, and a man I had the pleasure of teaming up with in Evolution. I give to you...."
Triple H's music hits and he comes down to the ring his usual DX gear. "Ric I am truly honored, but you really should have asked me first. I'm kinda doing this DX thing right now, and it a lot of fun, me and Shawn are just having a blast. So I'm gonna have to respectfully decline."
Flair- "You're gonna respectfully decline? Who the hell do you think you are, I tell you one thing. You're not Ric Flair. You're nothing more than a poser, a fake, a fraud. You've been trying to be me for years now, but you are just a cheap imitation."
HHH- "Sour grapes and all of that Old Man, I'm sorry I ruined your plans for your glue factory revival. But my answer is still no."
Flair- "Who said I was going to ask you to join. I'm sorry kid, but your just not Horseman material"
Randy Orton out of nowhere hit the ring and RKO's HHH, leading to a classic Horseman beat down. With HBK trying to make the save but being held of by the sheer numbers of the people in the ring. This could lead to an expansion of DX, which could make for some funny backstage segments, a long the lines of a fraternity recruiting new students.
Matt: I gotta admit, the Horsemen are a very…iffy proposition, in that you have to be very, VERY careful to get it right. I think if HHH is involved for the most part it will be, oddly enough, given that deep down HHH is a Wrestling Fan first and foremost, and a Flair Mark. I do question the make up of that group though, given that Haas would NOT get over like that, right now he's Paul Roma territory. Now, have him and Benny team back up then they come in as a group, and CW Anderson and then maybe someone like Victoria as the valet (In classy mode. A Horseman lady HAS to be classy), that would have a shot at working. I just wish it didn't have to include Orton. But really, he's the sole guy around to take the role, although there is a certain Smackdown talent who's just left SD who might work…
(And that sound you hear is a certain cross-section of the IWC heads' exploding at the thought of Ken Kennedy as the focus of the 4 Horsemen)
Nick: I'm just not a fan of bringing shit from the past back. I don't want DX, I don't want the nWo, I don't want the Hardy Boys (a single reunion match sure, but nothing long term), I don't want the Horsemen. I agree with teaming Shelton back up with Haas, though, and before anybody calls me a hypocrite, TSPWGTT wasn't a long-lasting team and they only broke up a couple years ago, never reaching their full potential as a team. All of the other teams and groups I mentioned not only were around for a bunch of years, but also reached their potential, had great years and then also fell, and fell hard. I would be a fan of teaming up some young directionless guys on either show and pushing them as a faction (and if they're going to go up against DX then as an EQUAL one), but giving them the name of a group from the distant past that they'll never ever ever ever come close to even being reminiscent of (ESPECIALLY with shitbag Randy Orton as their leader) just doesn't sit well with me. Plus, without a haircut, Nitro just wouldn't fit the mold. Flair never had long hair, he had BIG hair. Sorry Brandon, maybe I'll like your idea next time. Just remember to leave the past in the past where it belongs.
Matt: Ah. I probably should have checked with Nick before picking this topic then. Ah well, at least the dynamic of the column remains constant. Next up we have Todd Vote, and he wants to DX to have No Chance…
Edge comes out to open (Raw Homecoming), talking about how DX screwed him out of the title in his cage match. This brings out DX, and after Edge tries attacking, he eats a Superkick and Pedigree.
Raw 10/16: Edge comes out and challenges DX to a match at Cyber Sunday. Saying that he will even let the fans choose which of their precious icons gets beat up by the rated R superstar. This brings out Coach, who says that although he runs the show, he likes Edge's idea. It is imperative that coach speaks this next line word for word: "But to keep it interesting, the voting will be HHH, HBK, or both against Edge and the partners of his choosing." Edge doesn't like that, but we see him smile as the show goes off the air.
Raw 10/23: Edge opens the show talking about how Coach screwed up his divide and conquer plan for DX, and calls coach out to find out why. Coach comes out, and again states that by giving the option for DX to face Edge and the Partners of his choosing, he is just giving the fans what they want, and that is DX together. Edge cuts coach off with a "Screw the fans!!" Coach employs Edge that the fans hold his fate in their hands, and he might not want to piss them off. Main event of this night is DX vs. Cade & Murdoch. Match ends when Edge runs out and yanks the H's off of the apron, and Spears him right into the ring steps leaving Michaels to eat the 3 count. Cade & Murdoch win. This week there is also a video package, with highlights of Coach saying Edge and the partners of his choosing.
Raw 10/30: DX interview at the top of the second hour. Both members of DX are wearing Uncle Sam costumes, and there is a podium in the center of the ring. Triple H speaks first, on how he should be voted in to face Edge, after what happened with the spear in the steps, while cracking some joke about Edge spearing Lita… Michaels is talks next stating that he should be voted in to face Edge, because he lost to the Rednecks last week. This brings out Edge, who berates both men and the fans again. Finally he is cut-off by Triple H. H says they were trying to be nice, but now they must ask the fans to vote for DX in its entirety. Just to show that Edge will need a partner come Cyber Sunday, HBK challenges him to a match later in the evening, stating that maybe he can garner a few votes for Cyber Sunday if he beats up Edge tonight. In the match, Edge hits HBK with a chair for the DQ. Trips runs out to help but gets clocked himself. Edge stands tall over DX as Raw goes off the air.
Cyber Sunday 11/05: Just to drive home what the E wants you to pick, we open Cyber Sunday with a video of Edge standing over DX from Raw, with a voice over from Edge stating that he can single handedly take out both members of DX, so why would the voters want to do something as stupid as give him a partner, practically begging them to put him in there with both members of DX, and he will not need a partner.
The match: The fans of course vote for both DX members to go against Edge and the partners of his choosing. DX comes out first, followed by Edge, who looks miserable as hell in light of the voting. Edge grabs a mic, and states that he will now introduce his partners. Edge introduces Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas, and Johnny Nitro as his partners. Trips grabs the mic and asks what the hell is going on. Edge gets one partner, and that is it. Coach comes out and says that if DX would have been paying attention the last few weeks, instead of playing sophomoric pranks, they would know what is going on. Coach plays a video from the original Cyber Sunday announcement, and when he says DX vs. Edge and the partners of his choosing, the video gives the Max Headroom treatment to the word partners. With that Vince McMahon walks out on stage, and introduces the world to the new version of the Corporation. To celebrate, this match will be Texas Tornado rules. Edge and company easily beat DX in about 6 minutes.
Raw 11/06: The Corporation opens the show, with Edge smiling ear to ear. He starts by bragging about how he outsmarted all the idiots in the crowd, and made them vote exactly the way he wanted them too. Now that Raw is rid of DX, let me explain what happened for you slow folks at home. Each member of the Corporation was guaranteed a title match of their choice for joining up and helping to take DX out. I guarantee by the end of the night, The Corporation will stand tall with all the titles, as The Worlds Greatest Tag Team will challenge the Highlanders (assuming they win them at Cyber Sunday) for the tag straps, Nitro will challenge Jeff Hardy for the IC title, and I will challenge John Cena for the WWE title tonight.
Matt: I like it. I like it a lot. And given that Cyber Sunday is rigged, it's damm easy to pull off. Fink, take notes!
Nick: I stopped reading when I read "new version of the Corporation." The idea was decent up to that point, but I'm going to start getting sick here. ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING PAST, PEOPLE. It's funny, after Matt wrote his part of the column, the words next to my name that explained what to do here said "more of the same". Seems fitting.
Matt: You can't blame them Nick, that was what I asked for. But anyway, finally, Brad McLeod has a slightly different spin on a previous idea…
Okay, DX go on insulting everyone, but they start to turn heel. Or, at least, seem to turn. We saw Arn and Flair at Family Reunion, so we know they are still around. DX starts insulting the fact that the Legends are around, wasting a paycheck. But, then they bring back X-Pac (or Scott Hall). Let's say X-Pac. So, the three of them go on a tear, teasing Flair and Arn. Arn stands up to them, (as, of course, he would) and we get a beat down. Flair tries to make the save, but the Invulnerable Trio knock him a peg or two down. This goes on for a while, with all 3 members getting a win over Flair (Arn can't wrestle anymore), but Arn is in his corner. The IWC goes absolutely batshit over the (at least) teased reunion of the Horsemen, and try to guess who will be in it. Finally, with Flair out and "injured" or some such thing, and challenges DX to a 3 on 3 match at the next PPV. He, of course, uses the name "The Horsemen" to entice. The PPV comes around and DX hits the ring, they do their shtick, then Arn comes out and announces the 4 Horsemen: Himself, Ric Flair, DEAN MALENKO
AND CHRIS BENOIT!!!!!
Horsemen kick ass, take names, and it's all good
Matt: Now, Brad did admit that he knew some of them couldn't wrestle, but even so, I don't see a face Horsemen vs. a heel DX working that well. Still, it would sure as hell be mark out central, population me.
Nick: I just threw up. Happy?
Matt: And now that we have those down, my desired outcome and then Nick's first ever one. But you knew that already.
Reunite The World's Greatest Tag Team.
What, you want more? It's a really simple idea, but it'll work, and it's not like either of them is doing anything that special. Reunite them; have them win the titles then fight DX for the next couple of months. I'll be happy.
Nick: How about I go with the same, except they get reunited on SmackDown. Fuck RAW in its hairy ass. TSPWGTT vs. London & Kendrick = best WWE tag team match in a long, long time. Maybe ever.
Matt: And now, a request.
You see, since this is a whole new Payload, perhaps the time has come to change the rules up a bit. Clarke and Rossi set up a great system, I'm not saying they haven't, but maybe you guys would like a change? I see two main areas for growth.
1- The ‘3 idea rule'. Basically, The Masters felt that any more than 3 would risk various things, boredom and losing the thread type stuff. But however, it does mean that we often leave out various ideas. This could lead to people feeling bad. So, do you want to see all the ideas we get, or just stick with the cream?
2- The whole concept. No, I'm not changing the entire idea behind the column. But the reason this is called The Fink's Payload is because Fink's job, since he is apparently ‘too old looking' to be on TV, is mostly to surf online looking for stuff to steal and general feelings about the product. Ergo, the whole Payload deal, since the idea is that Fink only needs to come here to get some great ideas. And this is fine and dandy. But it could, possibly, be construed as limiting in that we can't do TNA or ROH ideas. And we can't set up a Borash's Payload and…Delirious' Payload? But, we could occasionally swap Fink for one of them. The question is, do you guys want to occasionally armchair book TNA (and maybe ROH), or just stick to Fink?
Right now, we have our 4 Semi-Finalists in the Women's Title Tourney. Book the rest of it.
Now, the mail hasn't changed, so please continue to send your booking concepts, to the combined Fink's Payload Email, finkspayload@gmail.com. And help change the course of history!
