MeeThinks 12:05.06: The Year-End RAW Wrap
Posted by John Meehan on 12.05.2006
Part one of a four-part, brand-by-brand look at EVERY SINGLE wrestler on television today!
Welcome back, everyone - and fasten your seatbelts for a four-installment multipack of positivity as MeeThinks kicks off its Second Annual MeeThinks Year-End Wrap-up and Predictions!
In case you missed it the first time around, last year we closed out the calendar with a roster-by-roster, three-column look at EVERY wrestler active on each of the major North American pro wrestling broadcasts of the day. And since it worked like a charm last time, this year will be no different.
Four columns, four rosters, four weeks in December.
So sit back, relax, and enjoy this second trip to the say-something-nice well as MeeThinks lends a kindhearted evaluation, an optimistic outlook, and a few helpful pointers to EVERYONE on each of sports entertainment's four major rosters.
Yes, EVERYONE.
This week -
We're tackling the flagship of the weekly wrasslin' roundup as MeeThinks breaks down Monday Night RAW!
Sound like a plan?
Rock & roll.
When 2005 wrapped, wrestling fans had three major wrestling shows airing each week - RAW on Mondays, Smackdown on Thursdays (ultimately moved to Friday's by year's end), and TNA iMPACT! on Saturday nights at 11pm.
Wow, what a difference a year makes, no? 2006 wraps, and we have not three but FOUR major pro wrestling shows each week:
WWE RAW - USA Network, Monday Nights at 9 p.m.
ECW on SciFi - SciFi Network, Tuesday Nights at 10 p.m.
TNA iMpact!- SpikeTV, Thursday Nights at 9 p.m.
Friday Night Smackdown! - UPN, Friday Nights at 8 p.m.
But more about each of those shows in due time. THIS WEEK is all RAW, baby - and it's guaranteed to close the year out with a bang!
Speaking in generalities -
By hook, crook, wellness, suspension, draft or walkout, it's probably worth noting that this year's RAW roster looks a lot different than the RAW roster of last year at this time. Each of these performers will be sized up in more detail in the column dedicated to the roster they wound up on in 2006, but - yup, RAW lost some pretty noteworthy names in 2006:
To TNA?
Kurt Angle - (quit/fired for burnout/wellness, debuted in TNA) Tyson Tomko - (quit, debuted in TNA)
To Smackdown!? Chavo Guerrero - (kayfabe retired, then debuted on Smackdown!) Gregory Helms - (swapped to Smackdown!) Ashley Massaro - (swapped to Smackdown!) Kane - (kayfabe exiled to Smackdown!)
To ECW? Joey Styles - (kayfabe resigned to join ECW broadcast team) Matt Striker - (swapped to ECW roster) Danny Basham - (swapped to ECW as Heyman's masked security goon #1) Renee Dupree - (swapped to ECW) Rob Van Dam - (kayfabe drafted to ECW) The Big Show - (kayfabe drafted to ECW) Daivari - (swapped to Smackdown!, then to ECW)
To retirement, indies and/or unemployment? Lita - (retired, but accepting independent bookings) Trish Stratus - (retired, now filming a reality television program) Rosey - (released, though ex-partner "Jamal" was rehired as "Umaga") Eric Bischoff - (kayfabe fired as GM in '05, but made a few guest appearances in '06) The HeartThrobs - (released, and I TOTALLY called it last year, by the way)
While we're talking about what all changed on RAW this year, let's not forget that Jim Ross re-joined the announcing team (for the umpteenth time), The Union Underground's "Across the Nation" was finally phased out as the show's themesong in favor of Papa Roach's "To Be Loved", the program got a brand new logo and graphics package to help freshen things up a bit, and the A.M. RAW Saturday morning rebroadcast of the show saw a slight reshuffling in it's timeslot as well.
But enough about generalities - let's get to the specifics for each performer, yes?
Shelton Benjamin - 2006 was most definitely and up-and-down year for Shelton Benjamin. From spinning his wheels in the midcard to winning back the Intercontinental Title (how many reigns is that now?), and from wheeling his "Momma" around to playing the race card by autumn - Shel has been all over the heel map in the calendar year that was. Sad part is, no matter HOW many pushes the guy receives or HOW many goofy and/or offensive gimmicks they saddle him with - he just can't seem to maintain any momentum as a heel. Maybe it's because of his spotty moveset, or maybe it's just because he's a natural athlete and so playing the bad guy forces him to restrict his offense to a less flashy ground-and-pound style. Whatever the case is, though - Shel is in a serious need of charisma, STAT, or he's doomed to spend a career of wasted potential in midcard obscurity. Perhaps with Monty Brown on the way in and Cryme Tyme gearing up for a nice little push of their own, WWE will revisit that "Nation of Domination 2007" angle we've been hearing so much about. Hey, it worked for Rocky Maivia.
Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch - The newly-dubbed "Redneck Wrecking Crew" reunited in 2006, but sadly they found themselves relegated to job patrol for the also-returning dX. Sad part is, Edge and Vinnie Mac were able to pass the team off as a nice (if harmless) little team of hired guns for a time during the summer of '06, and MeeThinks that if the Spirit Squad hadn't been dominating the tag ranks, we might well have seen a Murdoch/Cade run with the tag straps before all was said and done. Now that the 'Squad is out of the way (and if rumors are true that the tag team titles are likely headed back to the "established" tag ranks in short order), perhaps there's a second - or third - life to be had for The Redneck Whirling Dervish, as Cryme Tyme and The Highlanders have pretty well secured the token "face" pairings for the tag ranks, and they're gonna' need somebody to compete against sooner or later. Will tag wrestling in WWE be reborn in 2007? Not likely, but at least the lack of other viable heel tandems (for now...) will keep Cade and Murdoch employed for a while longer. Here's hoping they make the best of the opportunity - small though it may be - in 2007.
Carlito - Though many a 'net fan will tell you that WWE has already dropped the ball with Carlito, MeeThinks the future is still *very* promising for this second-generation performer. With rumors circulating that Carly's younger brother is on his way into the 'E's feeder program, chances are that the Colon boys are due for at least *some* WWE exposure before all's said and done. True, this won't exactly set Carlito on the fast track to single's gold - but there's something to be said for building a really hot breakout performer in BOTH your tag AND secondary title ranks (see: Guerrero, Eddie) prior to shoving them into an already-crowded main event scenario. If WWE is smart, they'll continue to let Carlito be Carlito, and fans will continue to love the guy no matter WHAT match on the card he's involved with. So long as we get a worthwhile midcard-esque angle out of the feud, fans should stay loyal to the guy long enough to justify shooting him though that proverbial "glass ceiling" with plenty of tag and midcard accolades to his credit and boatloads of momentum to carry him through main event superstardom within a year's time.
John Cena - Love him or hate him, 'Da Champ was most certainly HERE in 2007. Now a three-time WWE Champion (remember when it took Hogan like five years to accomplish that one?), The Doctor of Thuganomics continues to be WWE's meal ticket and THE single hottest performer going in the game today. A BIG win at WrestleMania and (arguably) an even BIGGER loss at One Night Stand stood as a testament to just how versatile Cena is when forced to play the de-facto heel role, and though Cena's program against Edge probably felt like a second-rate Rock/Austin rehash to many - you've gotta' give both men credit for (once again) taking WWE's flagship program and main-event feud and making it mainstream-friendly. Everywhere you look, WWE was popping up in the mainstream media. From "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" to "The Marine," to "100 Most Beautiful People," to - yup, even "Kevin Federline"... Cena has been at the epicenter of WWE's latest media blitz, and he's done a remarkable job of keeping the younger (and the female) fans interested in the product. Though Cena's near two-year run as a babyface has probably run its course at this point, the guy is still a hot commodity and a proven draw as the brand's number one good guy -- so I wouldn't go expecting him to join the dark side any time soon. But don't worry that Cena is ALL played out just yet, folks - as the battle rap (and the upcoming program) against K-Fed went a long way in proving that 'Da Champ still has that wiseass streak hidden under his family-friendly gimmick, and so MeeThinks it's a fair bet that The Doctor of Thuganomics will most definitely been "in" for 2007... not only "in" the money and "in" the main event, mind you - but perhaps also back "in" the good graces of so many of his haters to boot.
Jonathan Coachman - Coachman has been perfect in his dickish lackey role in 2007, and he's a much better fit for limited-run heelishness than he is for a fulltime addition to the RAW announce team. Though I can't really see the Coach as Vince's Personal Assistant storyline lasting all that much longer (after all, NOBODY takes him seriously when he's supposedly "in charge" for the night) - MeeThinks Coach is a no-brainer heel-in-a-pinch whenever WWE creative comes up short for a segment or two, and so fans can rest assured that 2007 is likely to be filled with plenty of our favorite ass-kisser since William Regal.
Rob Conway - Still has a job?! News to Mee... 2006 was not kind to Rob "Off-Cycle" Conway, and the erstwhile "Conman" clearly demonstrated just how craptacular a lot in life it is to spend your career in WWE's lower-midcard in the age of Wellness. While main-eventers like Kurt Angle could just up and quit the company when their drug dependancy became an issue, or other "superstars" like RVD and Orton could just take a slap on the wrist and continue to shine in the main event, poor Conway was forced to drop out of the weekly television spotlight faster than you can say "Masterpiece," and he's seen little in the way of recognition or any semblance of a worthwhile push to make up for lost time since his return. Hate to say it, but unless Conway is content jobbing out to everybody on the RAW roster *not* named Mickie James (actually, he might just come up short there, too...) - smart money is on The Conman looking elsewhere for employment in 2007.
Cryme Tyme- Blacksploitation at its self-parodying best, Cryme Tyme has been thuggin' and buggin' their way to fans' hearts throughout the latter half of 2006. Though not anywhere near Guerrero-level in the ring, Shad and JTG have been unassailable in their gimmick outside of it, and many fans (with good reason) are already equating the brilliance of this pairing with the legendary "Los Guerreros"-era tandem of Chavo and Eddie. Week after week, Cryme Tyme dazzles naysayers and silences critics by playing their roles to the cartoonish hilt, and at this rate, a run with tag gold is almost a sure bet to be in their future in '07. Too bad Cena already jacked the "bling out the belt" angle though, eh?
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan - "Enhancement talent," thy name is "Hacksaw." Now that Eugene is done with his Duggan program (as if you were paying attention in the first place), there's little reason to believe that good old Mr. U-S-A will be doing anything even remotely of note in 2007. Betcha' he doesn't even get to travel to Iraq with the rest of "the superstars," which is really a shame when you think about it because Duggan is probably as big a patriot as they come. Regardless, Hacksaw is still an entertaining addition to a roster - and unlike other semi-regulars like Lawler and Slaughter who continue to drive fans crazy by "pissing all over their legacy" through countless cameo appearances, it's not like poor Duggan really had all that much of a "legacy" to tarnish in the first place (that'd be like saying Ted Arcidi has a legacy)... so MeeThinks it's nice to see Hacksaw getting regular work while he still can, even if it's only in a spot that sees him playing jobber to the (not-quite-likely-to-ever-be)stars.
Edge - Last year, I said that The Rated R Superstar would be in for the ride of his life in 2006, and boy was I ever on the Money (In the Bank). Two reigns as WWE Champion in '06, a main-event-level pairing with Randy Orton as RAW's tag champs, and perhaps 1/2 of your sleeper candidate for 2006's Match of The Year (vs. Mick Foley at WrestleMania 22) - and Mr. Copeland has most certainly ARRIVED at the forefront of RAW's main event. No longer treading on the real-life heat from the Matt Hardy/Lita fiasco, Edge has stepped out of the shaddow of his personal indiscretions and managed to garner some honest-to-goodness, genuine bad-ass HEEL heat in 2006. Sure the Ric Flair beatdown was a yawner (because honestly, who HASN'T punked Flair out at this point, eh?) - but the "season premier" of RAW showed that the company still has faith in the guy as their main-eventer baddie du jour, and his pairing with Randy Orton has already begun to show fans a heelish return to glory that both men would never have seen in 2005. What's next for Edge? Your guess is as good as mine. But with Triple H and Shawn Michaels BOTH still looking for WrestleMania programs - it might be a blast to see The Rated R Superstar put up HIS unbeaten streak at the big dance in a single's bout against either of his dX rivals (while Orton faced off against the other one, of course). Not to fantasy-book TOO much, of course - but that sure sounds like a great way to keep Edge's mean streak (and heel momentum) strong for the first half of 2007 to Mee.
Eugene - Ahh Eugene. Nick Dinsmore is a phenomenal wrestler and one hell of a performer to boot. Sadly, he's stuck in the quagmire that is the Eugene gimmick, so no matter how good he continues to be in this role (and he most certainly does, by the way), the simple fact of the matter is that NOBODY will take him seriously so long as he's RAW's "special wrestler." Crazy-bad-guy special wrestler or kid-hugging good guy special wrestler is pretty irrelevant at this point, so a gimmick overhaul or a one-way-ticket back to Ohio Valley are likely to be the only way to salvage what's left of this poor guy's career now that fans have all but forgotten about him. Now if it were up to Mee? I'd cut my losses on the character and turn "Eugene" into the biggest piece of crap heel fans had ever seen. Let's say our "favorite special wrestler" showed up one week on national television and flipped a complete shit by beating the holy hell out of one of the brand's most-beloved babyfaces (and no, Hacksaw Jim Duggan just ain't gonna' cut it - we're talking like Eddie Guerrero-level respected good guy here). Here we learn that there never anything wrong with the guy's mental capacities at all, and he grabs the mic and says that he only played the "I'm retarded" card to get a career full of cheap wins, quick breaks and an easy road to success (think Johnny Knoxville in The Ringer). One haircut later, and you've got "Stone Cold" Steve Austin 2.o; a methodical, calculating and heartless ubervillian with not even a shred of human decency. The rest just writes itself, folks.
Ric Flair - After the devastating year of personal setbacks that was 2005 for The Nature Boy, Flair returned to form and continued to shine with the best of them on RAW's roster in 2006. Sadly, the Foley feud didn't resonate with fans for one reason or another - and so 'Naitch was reduced to playing "old folks club" with Dusty, Sarge, Piper, Arn and Ron Simmons by year's end. A tough break, but one that kept Flair in limited competition (and tag matches, at that) - so perhaps this was a blessing in disguise as it meant that Space Mountain might well have snuck his way towards another full year of active competition thanks to a lightened workload in '06. Yes, the TLC match against Edge probably took a few months off of the guy's career, and I'm sure the blade job to Rated RKO didn't help matters much... but by and large, we've seen a LOT less PPV-bloodied Flair in 2006 than we did when he was squaring off against Triple H in 2005, and so there's something to be said for luck (or lazy booking?) shuffling old 'Naitch out of the main event picture from time to time. Here's hoping that *if* Flair continues to wrestle (as we all know he will), that trend towards "less" will continue so that The Nature Boy will still have some gas left in the tank by this time next year. He'll still be wrestling either way, of course... but it'd sure be nice to see him still able to walk without a limp, no?
Mick Foley - The King of Hardcore had a mixed bag (of thumbtacks?) in 2006. Sure the WrestleMania match against Edge set both the night (and the table!) on fire, but his fallout-feud against Ric Flair (and subsequently, against Melina) will likely go down as nothing more than footnotes to what otherwise would have been a brilliant year for the man. Looks like he's gearing up for a feud against Vince McMahon in 2007, and honestly? Though many fans are already groaning at the thought of Vince taking up MORE ppv time in '07, MeeThinks we could all do a lot worse than the fun little middle-of-the-show bumfest garbage brawl that Foley and The Chairman are probably likely to produce when all's said and done. Foley takes a beating, McMahon takes a beating, and both guys' best matches rely on gimmicks and/or highspots to keep the crowd's attention -- so why not let those two just wail on eachother up for a bit at, say, WrestleMania 23 with plenty of props, bumps and real-and-kayfabe backstory to really get the crowd going? We could do a lot worse, you know.
Charlie Haas and Viscera - Man, that Lillian angle went nowhere fast, didn't it? What a shame, as Charlie is easily just as athletic as Shelton - but once again the poor dude just can't hack it in the charisma department. Viscera, meanwhile, is as charismatic as they come (when given the chance) - but this nonsensical pairing has his speaking role reduced to a minimum and his "big, black and angry" quota kicked into overdrive to mask Charlie's relative smallness in physique - so we're left with one of the least effective tandems since, well, Viscera and Mideon. On the bright side, at least they're on the same team - which means you can miss BOTH of their appearances in one fell swoop and not even have to take two separate trips to the concession stand. Here's hoping that EITHER man finds something more worthwhile to do in 2007.
Jeff Hardy - Though he's practically the same performer as he was when he was fired in 2003 (same moveset, same "demons" and all...), Jeff Hardy has been a refreshing addition to RAW's tag and midcard ranks thanks to his reintroduction to the roster in late 2006. And while he's not likely to be headlining any WWE pay per views in 2007 (take THAT, TNA) - Jeff is right back where he left off in terms of popularity and success in a WWE ring, which is saying something as he continues to amaze (and sell!) despite showing very little in the way of character development in the better part of five years' time. Maybe Jeff can help an older, wiser Matt Hardy learn a thing or two about getting over - as poor Matt hasn't seen the light of the main event since the v1.o days. Matt, meanwhile, can help keep an eye on his younger brother's "recreational" habits, as well as give him an idea or two about "character development" along the way (still waiting on chapter five of that "return to glory and kick Edge's ass" saga by the way). On second thought, maybe Jeff isn't so bad off after all.
The Highlanders - Rory and Robbie have made a tremendous and nostalgic addition to RAW's roster. First we get full-on-gimmick tag teams, then Survivor Series is filled with five-man-elimination tag matches! What's next - Brother love? In all seriousness, though - The Highlanders were the first signs that WWE is making clear efforts to get back to formulas that have succeeded in the past (gimmick tag teams, traditional Survivor Series matches, longer title reigns for champions, etc.) - so perhaps their importance to the brand is not so much a case of their particular merits, but rather one of simply what they represent in the larger picture of things. That said, I for one am a huge fan of Rory and Robbie's antics - and I really hope they can make a dent in the tag ranks in the year to come as plenty of fans are just dying for the days of such quality two-man teams as Strike Force, The British Bulldogs, The Hart Foundation, Demolition, The Killer B's, and The Legion of Doom.
Mickie James - Oh Mickie, you're so fine... WrestleMania blew our mind! Hey Mickie! Hey Mickie! Where did that loveable nutjob disappear to? Great question, as we're left with a diva with plenty of in-ring skill but a gimmick that's pretty well interchangable with every other lady on the roster. Though Mickie James was REMARKABLE in her heel role early in 2006, outside circumstances and a boatload of injuries and retirements to RAW's diva roster forced her to abandon ship on what was easily shaping up to be the best heel women's wrestler WWE fans had seen since Trish Stratus turned on Chris Jericho at WrestleMania XX. Instead, we're left with a talented young performer trapped in the same old default persona: you know, babyface girl = the pretty one that everybody likes. Rulebreaker girl = the less-pretty one thats jealous and crazy of the pretty one. Here's hoping Mickie can break the mold again in 2007.
Vince McMahon - On again, off again - the Chairman has been an on-screen force to be reckoned with in 2006. Much of it was very, very bad (Vince and Shane vs. Shawn and... GOD?!), but all in all there's something to be said for plugging established and proven draws in your main events rather than hotshotting less-than-credible up-and-comers to superstar status just for saying that you made the effort. True, WWE spent WAYYY too much time on the McMahons and dX feud - but then again, save for *maybe* Carlito, there just wasn't anybody with the necessary grass-roots sort of crowd support to warrant a main-event push in RAW's upper midcard in 2007. And if the fans are the ones who ultimately determines who gets pushed and who doesn't, then we've probably got no one to blame but ourselves for cheering for Michaels and Hunter as they "humiliated" Vince for the umpteenth time as we obediently chanted "SUCK IT!" and "VINCE LOVES COCK!" like good little boys and girls all along the way. Fact is, stale booking sucks - but bankruptcy sucks harder, and so long as fans were willing to cheer dX and boo Vince McMahon louder than they would do the same for just about everybody else on the RAW roster? Sure you can fault them for not putting the effort into any one up-and-comer along the way, but that's partially our fault for not cheering louder for that next big thing (you'll recall that in his early days in WCW, Goldberg was actually booked like a monster simply because the fans demanded him) you really can't blame Vince McMahon for sticking with what sells. MeeThinks a Foley/McMahon program is on for 'Mania, so here's hoping we've ALL learned our lesson if we want to see less of Vince (and his ass) in 2007.
Chris Masters - Nobody to date has beaten his Masterlock, but Chris Mordesky beat WWE Wellness in 2006 - and that might well go down as the man's biggest accomplishment of the year. From jacked-up-juicehead to lean and mean (with a moustache and goatee to boot), Masterfans might have thought that we'd seen the last of the larger-than-life Masterpiece in 2006. But WAIT - not so! Thanks to a killer new diet (or a blind eye from Wellness execs), Masters is back on the jui... err, "the mend" and well on his way to looking just as bulky and toned as he did in January of 2006. It's a shame that the guy - like a certain Big Poppa Pump before him - will likely limit his career and his moveset for the sake of a chiseled physique, but then again, he's just 23 years old and HE's on television while I'm not - so what do I know, right? Memo to Masters: Keep doing what you're doing, dude... but do try to keep an eye on the fact that there's a lot more life left to live after you've stepped out of a wrestling ring. And even if you can hammer out a 20-year career since you got into the game so young, MeeThinks you'd still like to be able to walk when your children's first little league game or high school graduation rolls around, man.
Shawn Michaels and Triple H- SWERVED ya' and lumped the two hottest faces in one paragraph, didn't I? Sorry to take the easy road, folks - but the simple fact of the matter is that since so much of each man's year hinged on the actions of the other, it's just about damned near impossible to treat them as separate entities in 2006. We'll try splitting things up a bit, however, as we focus on the early months of '06 and both men's programs leading up to WrestleMania 22. You might recall that Shawn Michaels was whining back and forth with Vince McMahon about who-screwed-who and who screwed Bret. You might also recall a segment or two involving public urination, mocking of organized faith, man-on-man ass kissing and/or a teased reunification with a tag partner who's failed more drug tests than Andy Dick. That said, you might forgive Mee for saying that with the rate he was going in the early half of 2006, Shawn Michaels is probably a lot better of *in* dX then out of it. Switching gears, you might also recall a Rocky IV-esque training montage of grass-roots versus top-technology, and a certain craptacular Conan the Destroyer getup at what might just have been the biggest pay per view of the year. And with a main event WrestleMania loss to show for it all, there's probably a case to be made for Triple H looking a LOT better in dX than out of it, as well. Sure the bit is tired and it's taken up tons of television time and squashed scads of undercard performers along the way (sorry, RAW tag ranks) - but the merchandise is still flying and you can see that Shawn and Hunter are obviously enjoying themselves in their roles. And guess what? Tons of tv time and ppv wins haven't translated to so much as ONE title for EITHER Michaels or Triple H in 2006, so maybe we shouldn't be so quick to condemn them for "holding down the midcard" after all. Here's hoping that the dX feud with Orton and Edge leaves everyone with a viable singles' program on the way out, and that Orton and Edge (especially) can walk away from the dX feud with both their respective stocks a bit higher as a result.
Johnny Nitro (and Melina) - Nitro and Melina are very, very good at what they do. Playing the B-level Hollywood elite roll to perfection, MN(m?) have been tremendous in earning the ire of crowds across the country. Melina, for her part, seems to be channeling Sherri Martel at her shrewish best - and so RAW has seen a bona-fide lady badass break from the pack as a result. Nitro, meanwhile, has taken his almost-Edge persona and ratcheted it up a level to the point where fans can easily hate him simply for being him (and NOT just for being another in a long line of egotistical asshole baddies). Bobby Roode and Traci Brooks should take a cue from Nitro and Melina, because this lovers-in-destruction template works from the moment the duo hits the entrance ramp to the second they make their exit (and the fans boo them all the way), and it is EXACTLY what every heel man/woman pairing is designed to be.
Randy Orton - Remember all that stuff I said about Edge? Now take it, couple it with the stuff I said about dX, and you've pretty well summed up the year that was for Randy Orton. A boneheaded Wellness violation, a critical loss to Hulk Hogan, and a severe reliance on chinlocks have pretty well kept "The Legend Killer" in limbo for 2006. Some might blame the Hulkster for stalling Orton's momentum, but MeeThinks the SummerSlam loss to Hogan was more of a slap on Randy's wrist for getting busted for drugs than it was a stroke to Hogan's ego (or his daughter's CD sales). True, whenever you're talking about Hogan there's ALWAYS a question of his best interest in mind, but the simple fact of the matter is that Orton couldn't have picked a worse time to get nailed for his fondness for the ganja, and so anybody with even a shred of backstage clout could tell you that his mistimed whoopsie pretty well sealed his fate when facing The Immortal One. While I'd like to shed a tear for The Legend Killer, the simple fact is that the guy was well on his way to looking like a contender once again - and he up and blew his shot by letting his "recreation" get in the way of professionalism. And while Hogan's infamous ego is hardly "professional," it's old news at this point - and it certainly gets preference over "ego AND a drug habit." In other words? Clean up your act, Randy, and get your head back in the game for 2007. Edge, Michaels and Hunter are all MORE than over enough to lend you the rub... so don't screw it up this time, eh?
Snitsky - Whoah! Snitsky is still employed? Better quit while I'm ahead, and just say "congrats, Gene-o" and move to the next bunch before I jinx the poor guy's luck. So "congrats, Gene-o!" Here's to a toe-snifferific 2007!
The Spirit Squad - Speaking of jinxing somebody's luck - back to Ohio Valley it is. To borrow a line from JR, "mercifully, this one's over." The gimmick was cute, but the guys couldn't even get their cheers in snyc to kickstart a match. And once Kenny was pushed as the only credible threat of the bunch, the 'Squad's run with the tag titles only further proved just how worthless tag team gold has become on RAW in this day and age. Within the year, I'd suspect we'll see two or three of these guys back up on the main roster (you just KNOW the ECW brand will be home to at least one of them), but it's going to take a LOT of doing (we're talking like Umaga-level makeover) for fans to forget just how dreadful and stale all five of these guys had become in 2006. Best of luck, Squadders - MeeThinks at least one of y'all will be on the receiving end of a WWE pink slip by December of 2007.
Super Crazy - A surprisingly effective to RAW's midcard before Jeff Hardy showed up, Super Crazy made a nice little run for himself as the thorn in Chris Masters' side to upset the guy's comeback in the middle of 2006. Sadly, Jeff Hardy's arrival on the RAW brand meant that Super Crazy would be relegated to HeAt and dark matches for the duration of the year, but given the relative employment (or lack thereof) of Crazy's Mexicool contemporaries, MeeThinks Mas Loco is feeling pretty good about himself for having carved out a nice little niche in the guaranteed-job-for-a-non-U.S.-performer (a.k.a. - "The Funaki-spot") in the year that was. No titles or worthwhile programs forthcoming, but a job's a job - and as Funaki can tell you, at least you're guaranteed a win or two every time WWE takes a tour of those international venues!
Umaga - Hate him though you might, the simple fact is that PLENTY of fans are trembling in fear and shaking their heads in disdain every time The Samoan Bulldozer hits the ring and lays waste to one of their favorite RAW heroes. Trips, Cena, Kane, Flair and Michaels have ALL fallen victim to the artist formerly known as Jamal of Three-Minute-Warning, and you've simply got to hand it to the guy (and to Estrrrrrada!) for having helped to cement him as a legitimate badass in spite of those obvious shortcomings (he's JAMAL, for cryin' out loud!). Heck, even Samoa Joe thinks the guy is a solid performer - so who am I to disagree? So nice going, OOOOmaga - and though only time will tell if you've got staying power to keep the gimmick hot after your inevitable first loss in '07, you've most definitely gotten over in spite of the haters in 2006 - so this Samoan Spike is for you.
Val Venis - Last year, I said: "A former Intercontinental champion AND a thoroughly competent in-ring performer, which could explain why Val is still employed while so many of his contemporaries (see also: The Godfather, Road Dogg, Dan Severn, Ken Shamrock) have long-since departed the hallowed ranks of WWE. Still, poor Val's star is probably on the wane, and his name is always tossed around whenever rumors of the next round of roster cuts begin to surface. I wouldn't be surprised to see Val call it quits (by choice or by force) with WWE by the end of 2006, but it's not like anyone could honestly say that the guy didn't have a good run while it lasted." That sounds about right for this year, too... so we'll just substitute out "2006" for "2007" and call it a day here, deal?
Victoria - Last of the babe-hicans, it would appear - as Trish, Lita, Molly Holly, Sable, and just about every other former "Attitude Era" diva has bid bye-bye to the squared circle. Whoda' thunk that the last of the bunch would have been one of the Godfather's Hos, eh? Ah well... Victoria is still as solid as they come in the ring, and I see no reason to believe that she won't be back in the two-competitor title hunt in 2006. (Note I didn't even bother doing a paragraph on Candace, Tori or Maria - because talented though each of those ladies are, there's just no reason for them to be chasing for a title belt).
And With That, I'm Outta' Here
Shoot, that took a lot out of Mee. Thanks again for reading if you made it this far, and here's hoping that my typing hands will be well-rested enough for next week's ECW-exclusive, yes? In the meantime - enjoy the cold weather and the hot cocoa, keep root-root-rooting for the home (or away) team as the playoff picture takes shape (Miami? Bring it on!) - and always stay positive!
