WRestling’s 3R’s PPV Edition 12.07.06: ECW December to Dismember 2006
Posted by Larry Csonka on 12.07.2006
For a mere forty dollars, you too can watch the public execution of the ECW brand!
Introduction!
Welcome back to another PPV edition of WRestling's 3R's! It is time once again to break down the PPV of the past weekend in the 3R's style. This time around we will look at the ECW December to Dismember PPV. A PPV so hyped and anticipated that there were TWO confirmed matches via WWE.com. Oh yes, truly among the greats as far a build goes. But against all the odds could the ECW brand have a successful PPV? Lets find out.
Lord, let me muster the strength to do this show justice.
And man I wish I could take credit for the teaser.
ECW December to Dismember 2006~!:
The Matches:
The Hardy's defeated MNM @ 22:30 via pin ***¼ Match of the night.
Balls Mahoney defeated Matt Striker @ 7:15 via pin *½
Elijah Burke and Sylvester Terkay defeated the FBI @ 6:45 via pin ¾*
Daivari defeated Tommy Dreamer @ 7:30 via pin (N-R)
Kevin Thorne and Ariel defeated Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly @ 7:40 via pin (ASS) Trash of the night
EXTREME ELIMINATION CHAMBER/ECW TITLE MATCH: Lashley defeated The Big Show, RVD, Test, CM Punk and Hardcore Holly to become the NEW ECW CHAMPION @ 24:45 via pin **
The Right:
MNM vs. The Hardy's - If there was one bright spot of the PPV it happened at the beginning as MNM battled the Hardy's. They flat out had a great match to kick off the show and in the end stole the night with ease. They worked a great R&R/Anderson's formula with the double heat/hot tag segment, which I enjoyed. It just clicked and was fun to watch. The crowd seemed to cool on them a bit but they really got the end going to and it was all gravy. MNM to me has improved as a team as odd as it sounds. With Mercury having the time off to heal up and recharge from his issues and Nitro really growing as a more "well rounded" performer and getting a ton of chemistry with Jeff along the way, the match came off as if they had been working together for along time. While I am not thinking that tag team wrestling is back and better than ever in the E, having these guys around to have matches will make Larry a happy camper. One last thing, I totally agree with Dunn's comment on Styles and Tazz. These guys aren't ECW, we can see, "This kind of action" on Raw and Smackdown as well, since they are just floating around. Fuck the brand extension.
Purgatory:
Balls Mahoney vs. Matt Striker - Lets start with the best of the worst and make our way down, shall we? Also, looks like I was right about the Striker promo! I wanted to throw this into the wrong along with the rest of the trash for the night, but they worked really hard and tried to do what they could with the limitations. If the booking would allow, and if things would loosen up Striker has a lot of potential. The promo before the match was actually one of his best to date. Demanding Extreme Rules, extremely strict rules; no foul language, no top rope moves, no hair pulling, and no eye gouging; funny shit and perfect for the character. Balls was slightly over, well, more over than most on the show and I really think that if they would have had no restraints that this could have been a good match, but alas it wasn't and things would go down hill from here.
The wRong:
Burke and Terkay vs. The FBI - Next we had a tag team affair, which is funny for a brand with no tag titles, but what can you do, you know? Burke and Terkay came to ECW with a lot of fan fare, but were jobbed out in order to make sure the Hardy's looked good headed into the PPV, because we all know the Hardy's need help getting over. Sarcasm kids. So anyway, Burke and Terkay need rebuilt so they get to basically squash everyone's favorite job team the FBI. A fucking shame as well because they are a damn fine team, but lost on this brand. Match was blah, FBI worked hard in letting themselves get killed and Burke and Terkay won. I had to laugh when they hit a stroke and muscle buster and there was an audible TNA chant. Good times.
Daivari vs. Dreamer - Next is another match that in all reality could have been fine, or even pretty good. Sure Dreamer is beat up, past his prime due to the injuries and fat; but he is a good face and takes a beating. Daivari is a damn talented kid from the outside the E work I have seen, so again I had hope. Well, having hope is asking to have your wallet raped on this how because this match blew. It was just not good, as it just had an uninspired feel to it. Daivari got the win over Dreamer, with a roll up and the tights for the win. Daivari needed to use the tights to beat Dreamer. Wow. First they have a DQ finish and now Daivari has to use the tights. I expect (and he did) for Daivari to lose to Dreamer, and this feud…MUST CONTINUE! Khali then came out, after being tosses and gave Dreamer the double choke bomb/tree slam on the ramp. Joy. This did nothing for me, for Daivari, for Dreamer or anyone buying the show. Lame.
Kevin Thorne and Ariel vs. Mike Knox and Kelly Kelly - And it does get worse kids. This was a match between two guys that still work like they are green, with two women that can't wrestle on PPV. YAY $40! Also, with the exception of Kelly really, this is a heel vs. heel match. They did the deal where Knox left the match, stranding Kelly to take the beat down. You would think the match would get a bit better, but it didn't. Horrendous. In the end they wanted you to care about Kelly and hate Knox. Well, everyone loves Kelly already and no one cares about Knox because he has been buried. No one cares about Kevin and his bitch with a nice set of fun bags. This is a TV angle, not something that you pay $40 for. And then since Sandman had nothing else to do, he came out and beat down Kevin…yeah, Kevin. This got one of the bigger pops of the night, but considering that they chanted for "CM PUNK" for half the match, maybe creative can take a hint sometime? Nah, that would make sense.
The Extremely Excruciating Chamber - Yes, I was very disappointed in our "Extreme Elimination Chamber." A match that they hyped so hugely came off so poorly, and for many reasons. Let's take a look at those now.
The Gimmick: They hyped and hyped this Extreme Elimination Chamber. We got a chair, table, crowbar and barbed wire bat is it? That is all? FOUR weapons is what is making the regular chamber into an extreme chamber? No crazy shit hanging from the cage? No wacky hit a buzzer and get a Singapore cane instantly deal? No trap doors with a bed of spikes or piranhas? Seriously, they have hyped and hyped this match as something special and this is all we are getting? What a bunch of shit. I wanted a lot blood to sell the brutality of the match, this IS a Chamber match, this is an EXTREME match and this WAS an ECW PPV. But forget that, God forbid anything cool happen here. It was just there to me, nothing special at all.
The Wrestling: The match started out pretty well, but when you takeout RVD and his fun stuff and Punk at the half way point and leave Lashley, Test and Show…it just wasn't pretty. Add to this that this was the main event, and we have another event where WWE did not deliver in the big match.
The Booking: And now we get to the meat of the problem. The booking of the match was poor and in all actuality hurt the match in a major way. We start with Holly and RVD, which is fine. They have had some good matches and would be fine for the opening 5-minutes, which they were. And then Punk comes in, adding to the goodness early on in the match. Test then enters and things seem fine. Booking mistake #1 was the elimination of CM Punk. He was one of the two most over men on the card and they tossed him early, huge mistake, one which could derail him big time. That'll teach him for being more over than DX. Then RVD is tossed from the match after Holly. The other really over guy is now gone and you have people chanting TNA in retaliation, including his wife. Tremendous. So we have Test, Lashley and Show left. The security drones try to hold off Lashley but he escapes and gets rid of Test, and we are down to Show vs. Lashley. They didn't even have Show in yet due to the eliminations going so quickly. Finally he enters, and not too long after that we have a new ECW champion. He gets all of a minute of celebration and the show goes off the air 30-minutes or so early to a mild reaction and some refund chants. $40!
The Ridiculous:
Sorry Sabu and Sandman, we want "Hardcore" - All right, while I know that Sabu is in trouble with the company and they felt that they had to take him out of the match, this was the wrong way to do it. Sabu was in one of TWO advertised matches on the show. If they had a hard on for taking him out of the match they should have done soon TV, so that people would have known ahead of time. Some will argue that, "this is the way the old ECW did things." Once again, this is not the best business model to follow children. So they replace him with Holly, fine, but once again it should have been announced on TV. Which brings me to Sandman. Sandman was going to face Holly, but with him being added to the chamber, Sandman was left with nothing to do but cane Kevin. The Sandman, on an ECW PPV had nothing to do. That is ridiculous.
I want my ECW - While they can try to fool you and I with the "ECW" logo and the name ECW, along with many former ECW talents, Paul Heyman cutting a promo acting like he runs the place and Joey Styles calling the action; this was a WWE Developmental PPV. The reason that the second One Night Stand PPV was still a success and was a very entertaining show is because there were ECW guys on the show and as a whole they did ECW things. The awesome tag with Foley/Edge vs. Funk/Dreamer was classic ECW. There was blood, guts, fire, barbed wire and overall craziness. This had none of that. The show didn't even look like an ECW show, it looked like a "Mini-Raw" PPV. Like ECW was Raw's little brother that stole its clothes to go out and impress its friends. ECW is a total vibe, look and feel and they managed to avoid it almost completely. They had regular matches, some ECW guys and a tame chamber match, by most standards anyway. Maybe if Vince wasn't so against the hardcore aspect of ECW they could have done something besides the norm. While I think it was pretty smart to tame down the Extreme Rules matches on TV, the PPV's are the perfect time to allow them to flourish. They failed big time there. I know that this is not the old ECW, but the only reason it is here is because the OLD ECW made people crave its return. The fact that they ignored it so shows what they think of the fan base. It isn't what is best for you, it is what THEY THINK is best for you.
The Ri-GOD-DAMN-diculous:
Told you so… - I cannot stress enough how much they have dropped the ball in building this PPV. It is truly a one-match show. Then they decide to pull the Hardy's out of the mothballs for it, but devalue that by continually keeping them on TV in matches, when people would have paid good money to see it. Hell, the upcoming Armageddon PPV already had three matches set for it and that PPV isn't until the 17th! Some will say that, "This is the way the old ECW did PPV, it was exciting, anything could happen" and all of that bullshit. Well, if you haven't noticed, that wasn't the best of business models to follow kids.
In my opinion, WWE is relying WAY too much on the old nostalgia name of ECW, their name in WWE, the Hardy's and in the gimmick of the Elimination Chamber. It amazes me that the "greatest wrestling company in the world" can build such a piss poor event. Luckily for them this will do a decent number, even if the ticket sales are piss poor. The name "WWE" basically promises you 100,000 buys. Add a gimmick like the Elimination Chamber, and you get 20,000 more. Add in the "ECW" name and I would go another 10,000 buys. So I guess I will say this does 130,000 buys, which is very generous; especially when you consider the fact that this show is one week after Survivor Series.
Let us add to the fact that this PPV ended at 10:18pm EST. Yes, this PPV ended right around 27-minutes before a WWE PPV goes off the air when it runs long, but most WWE PPV's go to 10:35pm, so 17-minutes early. They just fucked you in the ass for your $40 and people seem to think that this is ok.
Closing Thoughts:
Well, this sucked a giant cock. Four of the six matches were at or below the quality that we get on Raw from week to week, actually probably worse. They were filler matches, almost squash matches on PPV, a PPV that they asked you to pay $40 for. A PPV that ended almost 30-minutes earlier than it should have, it was just pathetic.
In the end I will go with a 1 out of 10 for the show. That's right, ONE out of 10. It gets a 1 for the good opening tag, but other than that…BULL FUCKING SHIT! Cyber Sunday at least had a "semi" excuse for not having things fully laid out due to its gimmick, but this was just piss poor planning by management. This was the public execution of the ECW brand. While not the worst PPV of all time as many were saying, it was the worst of the year, which is an amazing turn around from ONS II, which was one of the best PPV's this year.
I BEG fans of this company to not take this shit anymore. Voice your displeasure with your remote and PPV dollars. The WWE continually tells you to fuck off by providing horrible PPV's that cost you $40 of your hard earned money. I tell you to let them know that you are done. You take the chance to tell them to fuck off and turn off the shows, don't buy the PPV's and hurt them where it counts. The recaps will be here for you, the opinions will be here and you can share yours with us. Make it happen. Don't buy this show on PPV, don't get the DVD, stay away for your own sanity. I am now off to therapy.
Reader Feedback on ECW DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER 2006:
From Rogelio -
Pretty decent ppv tonight. Hardyz/MNM was easily the best match of the night as it was a good old-fashioned tag match that got the time it deserved. The thing I didn't like was the crowd. It seems like they wanted every old school ECW wrestler to win everything as if they are still living in 1996 or something. I loved the old ECW but damn those guys can't do it anymore. They didn't give the new ECW guys a chance as they were booing or chanting TNA thru the whole night. Just crazy. Also, I guess Sabu is done as he got the old injured in the back mysteriously. Aw well. Hope he saved his money this time around.
From Mike LaFave -
You'll prob be happy to hear this. I have been majorly disappointed in the past two WWE ppvs. Even though I'm a mark who much prefers what the WWE offers to TNA, I still call it like I see it. Survivor Series disappointed me just because I thought it was going to be awesome and turned out to be average. tonight on the other hand, I'm pissed. To open the show so strong (and I'm including Striker's promo and match in that) and to just fall so flat afterwards, it's not right. And to top it off, and what REALLY pissed me off, I paid for a three-hour ppv, not 2 hours and 15 mins! they should have been able to tell they were running fast and thought of a way to extend the show. Hell, give Punk a promo if you know you're going to piss everyone in the arena who have been chanting for him all night off by jobbing him first. I don't know, do something so I don't feel fucked out of 45 mins I paid for. And that was not only the worst Elimination Chamber, but by far the worst booked. Just horrible. When you can honestly say that Test was the bright spot of the Elimination Chamber, you know there's a problem.
From Paul -
Evening Larry, hope your well mate. Just thought I'd drop you a line about WWECWs December to Dismember. I just can't get over how they let this go to waste like it did. Firstly, if we are to presume ECW is a separate brand in the same way as RAW or even TNA, if any of theses two had ONE ppv in 6 months, it would be built like WrestleMania. So to go into it with only (what would become mis-advertised) one match scheduled is a scandal. The only thing I was actually looking forward in the whole night was watching RVD and Sabu do some crazy shit in that environment, only to be denied that as well. Anyway, moan over Larry, its just disappointing to really want something to work and on what should have been ECWs biggest night so far, only to watch it disappoint on so many levels.
My only hope now is to see something decent happen with Harry Smith and on recent reports, the E are going to let me down once again. Still can't complain too much, we didn't pay the usual PPV price here, as I'm in the UK, I'd REALLY be depressed if I'd paid for it.
Thanks for joining me for this special edition of the 3R's, and don't forget to check out the regular edition complete with all of the other shows from the week!
