Double M’s Rasslin’ Report 12.16.06

Posted by Michael Melchor on 12.16.2006

I’d start a countdown, but I honestly don’t know exactly how much longer I’ll be in this spot.

Gotta leave this place it's been cool but I got to go. Yeah, that means what you think it does. Kinda. But not completely. Aw, fuck it, I'll explain at the end of this piece...

Hey there and thanks for checking for some weekend goings on here in the Rasslin' section. Me, I'm aiming for tomorrow to see Twisted Sister – who I didn't get to see last week. You see, I had everything set up and ready to go and drove the 75 minutes down to Melbourne to see them. When I arrived, I wasn't on the list to get in. Not a good sign.

I waited a bit for someone (Promoter? Building manager? Pimp? I still don't know who this guy was) to get off stage and clear this up. Just a misunderstanding. When I finally saw him, he informed (in that eloquently wasted way of his; seriously, this guy was lucky to be standing upright by this point) me that the label had canceled all of the tickets they had set up and that I was basically shit out of luck. All that driving for nothing.

I contacted the label rep on Monday who said yes, she had canceled the tickets - because there was enough room on the band's list that she moved everyone on to that and told the inebriated gentleman to do the same. Except, of course, he didn't. Ass. So now I get to try this again tomorrow night.

Welcome to the wonderful world of music "journalism", kids. And speaking of journalism-in-quotes, we have some Rasslin' news to tackle.


Okay, This Is Boring – What Else Is There To Read?

The Abyss to my James Mitchell is calling the return of Paul Heyman like a Babe Ruth home run. I wouldn't doubt that he's right.

My Favorite Writer™ celebrated his 7th wedding anniversary. Good form.

And to wrap up this portion up quick and dirty like, keep an eye out in 411 Music – as well as ALL the Zones – for some new blood coming in soon. Now if only the same coiuld happen to wrestling storylines...


The Rest Of The News That's Fit To Post

Early in the week, WWE.com posted a video of the trials and tribulations of their trip to Iraq – specifically of a mortar shot that landed about 200 yards away from where they were filming.

Sit back and think about that a moment. You have WWE Champion John Cena, Edge, C.M. Punk, Shelton Benjamin, The Undertaker, Johnny Nitro, Melina, ECW Champion Bobby Lashley, Hardcore Holly, Umaga, Jeff Hardy, Carlito, Randy Orton, Torrie Wilson, Maria, Krystal, Chris Masters, JBL, and WWE OWNER Vince McMahon all in one area. 200 yards closer and that mortar could have seriously affected the future of wrestling as we know it. Man, the damage that could have been done there...

Whether they do this as a truly humanitarian gesture or whether or not this is an annual publicity stunt isn't the issue here. No matter what you believe, their lives are at risk over there. It's that simple. I don't think any more proof than that video is needed to demonstrate that.

Moral: next time your know-more-than-the-people-that-work-in-this-business cynicism kicks in, think about that list of talent above and remove one. Any one. Doesn't matter which. Now contemplate what WWE would be like without the name you picked.

And in direct contrast, here's where you can let your cynicism kick right back in.

TNA is getting a ton of mainstream media attention for the BaseBrawl pull-apart that happened at last week's Turning Point PPV. Okay, aside from our current dumbed-down, point-and-laugh media culture (which we discussed when K-Fed first darkened the doors of Titan Towers)...who the fuck cares?

Let's see, we've had Toby Keith, Chris Rock, and several baseball players and NASCAR drivers all involved on-screen with TNA in some form or another. You'd think that, after all THAT attention, TNA would be a bigger name than it is if their strategy worked like they'd hoped or planned it would.

Instead, TNA is a distant second in the competition and 99.44% of the general non-wrestling populace has no idea what the hell a TNA is at all. On top of that, those of us that DO watch the promotion could give a rat's rosy red ass about baseball players getting it on in the ring. If we didn't give a shit about Jay Leno becoming a wrestler, chances are these guys are an even bigger longshot of getting our attention. As for the mainstream attention this stunt is designed to pull in, it's all too fleeting anymore to matter.

DDP has added Jay Z's clothing line, Roc-A-Wear, to his lawsuit against Jay Z and his use of the "diamond" hand sign. And the world gives a collective yawn, then a collective groan at the realization that this lawsuit will last well into next year.

WWE has released Amy Zidian. Who?

And finally, well wishes go out to Samoa Joe, who has been diagnosed with a severe second degree sprain of the MCL in his knee. Tell you what, though, this guy has had a few injuries now and keeps fighting through them like a trooper. That's guts right there. Get well, Joe, so you can kill more people.


Happy Trails – Soon To Be For Good

So, yeah, what the hell was I talking about earlier? Well, I'll be occupying this spot for a few more weeks before I take my bow again and hand it over, preferably, to the gentleman that held it before me. Go back and do a little digging if you don't know who that was. If not, then we'll find a suitable replacement (no, don't start mailing me submissions or anything; we've got it under control). Either way, come soon after the dawn of 2007, I'm out of this piece.

Truth be told, I was a temporary solution to begin with. I didn't plan on being the regular guy. But I could have handled – and did handle – that just fine if it weren't for the, frankly, sorry-ass state of the sport right now.

I think anyone with two eyes and a brain can see that my heart's not really in this lately. I realized while talking to my pal and yours, Sean Carless, that 2006 was a banal and mind-numbingly stupid enough of a year in wrestling that I've actually fallen out of love with the sport. And while constant, acerbic criticism can make for some entertaining reading, I don't even have it in me to do that much. I mean, I watch Raw mainly out of habit and I try to catch TNA when I can but, other than that, I could give a rat's ass what's going on there. Aside from that, I have my first love to attend to right now, as I'm one of the Editors there. And not to put too fine a point on it, we have some work to do in that Zone in particular.

So, there you have it. I'd start a countdown, but I honestly don't know exactly how much longer I'll be in this spot. But it won't be much longer, I can tell you that. If it's any consolation, I'll be back here next week with my game face on to bring some more of the latest and greatest in the world of Rasslin'.

L8. Thanks again for reading.


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