The Independent Mid-Card 12.20.06: Cabana vs. Spanky

Hello again, loyal readers, and welcome to this week’s installment of The Independent Mid-Card. As always, I’m your host, Samuel Berman. Before we jump right in, I want to take a minute to thank everyone who wrote in for the great feedback. I’m glad to see that there’s a place for the Independent Mid-Card to be represented in the dog-eat-dog world of online wrestling commentary.

Last week we looked at a top-notch Indie tag team spotfest, so I thought we’d take this week to look at the lighter side of the Independent scene. There’s a lot of comedy to be found in professional wrestling, and the men involved in this week’s match are two of the masters of bringing some tongue-in-cheek fun to their matches. From later in the Summer of 2005, I now welcome you back to the Independent Mid-Card…

Colt Cabana vs. Spanky
Ring of Honor – Redemption – Dayton, OH – August 12, 2005

The Wrestlers:
Colt Cabana – Simply put, Colt Cabana is one of the funniest wrestlers there is. Blessed with a truly special sense of humor and a great ring presence, Cabana is one of the better technical wrestlers on the Independent scene, but at this point was just beginning to incorporate the catch-as-catch-can British style into his repertoire. He had spent the early part of the Summer feuding with Nigel McGuinness, and is just returning from a tour of the United Kingdom. The foreign tour was well timed, as it allowed fan-favorite Cabana to distance himself from the heel turn of partner and best friend CM Punk. Cabana is actually on a losing streak in Ring of Honor leading into this match, having lost matches to McGuinness and Christopher Daniels and failing in his bid to win the Pure Title from Samoa Joe.

Spanky – Having returned to Ring of Honor earlier in the year from some time in WWE and Japan, Brian “Spanky” Kendrick had said since his return that he was back in ROH to win some gold. Another in the great line of wrestlers trained by Shawn Michaels (also in that group are Paul London and “The American Dragon” Bryan Danielson), Spanky is often oversized in the ring, but rarely outmaneuvered. By this point, having recently lost a match for the ROH World Title to then-champion Austin Aries, Spanky had actually already announced his intention to return to WWE after fulfilling his already-scheduled Indie appearances.

The Match:
Danger! High Voltage hits and Spanky is on his way to the ring, welcomed by a notably hyped and excited Dayton crowd. Perfunctory turnbuckle poses ensue. Without fail, Copa Cabana starts in due time and a sunglasses-and-bandana-clad Colt Cabana joins us, dancing his way to the ring and already proclaiming his love for the fans. “Colt” chants have already started, but in one of the more foolish errors you can make as an Independent fan, someone in the crowd audibly makes fun of Cabana’s polka-dot tights. “EVERYBODY, WE’VE GOT THE COMEDIAN RIGHT THERE!” Cabana goes about mocking the fan for a little while (including a brief exchange with Spanky to point out the guilty party (“It’s the stupid looking one right there!”)), and then we get a rather exaggerated and funny handshake from the participants. With that, we’re off.

The crowd is split with dueling “Let’s Go Spanky/Let’s Go Colt” chants. Colt gets all intense, but Spanky points out that this is a “Special Attraction Match”, so Colt cools down. They nimbly circle before Colt goes for a slow-motion lockup. Spanky grabs a headlock, however, and holds it tenaciously. Tenaciously, that is, until Cabana, umm, tickles his bottom. Spanky bails, and the referee gets the same treatment as Spanky. Spanky rejoins us and grabs a wristlock, allowing Cabana to show off his new European-style offense. They fight over the wristlock for a bit, and then a headlock, before Cabana gets knocked down on an Irish whip by a Japanese armdrag. Not to be outdone, Cabana hits an armdrag of his own and we’re at a stalemate. The two men then go into an extended criss-cross sequence until Spanky tries a drop down move that earns him a kick in the ass from Cabana. The subsequent stare down leads to another extended criss-cross sequence, which only ends when Spanky calls a timeout to catch his breath. With his breath now caught, they go back to the criss-cross yet again, until Cabana drops down, leading to a missed legdrop from Spanky. Cabana hits an atomic drop and chops Spanky on the ass, proving that he has indeed picked a body part to work in this match. Not the one I would have chosen, but hey, Cabana’s the professional.

Cabana follows up with a butt-butt and Spanky bails again, so Colt riles the crowd up for… a tomahawk chop that only hits because Spanky was cowering as Cabana ran the ropes. Nice adjustment by Colt there, actually. Back in, Cabana ties up Spanky in an awkward pinning combination, and then Spanky reverses a whip to the turnbuckle and hits Cabana with a chop to the chest. Cabana responds with a loud “OWWWW!” and calls the chop “uncalled for” in a funny moment. The two agree to be friends, until Spanky tries to whip Cabana into the corner (“Sucker!”), only to have Cabana do a dose-e-do with the referee and roll up Spanky for two. Cabana hides behind the ref for a moment and then goes for a folding press that also gets two. Cabana chops away (at the chest this time, having seemingly given up on *ahem* working the ass), but Spanky gets a leg lariat and then a swinging DDT for two. A downward spiral leads to a frog splash, but Cabana rolls over for two. Spanky pounds him down and but gets caught with an enziguiri. Cabana ducks a clothesline and hits a superkick (which isn’t a move he uses very often) for a long two count as the crowd goes back to the dueling chants. They exchange strikes and Cabana ducks a boot on a reverse whip to the corner before going into a complicated bridging rollup that gets the sudden three count at 8:25. Spanky sits up and looks absolutely shocked, but the two shake hands and raise each others arms before Colt heads to the back. Spanky is left in the ring when Living Colour hits and heel ROH World Champion (and new icon of corporate America) CM Punk joins us in the ring.

As a brief interlude, I should quickly explain what was going on with CM Punk during that summer, especially because it pertains to the following promo and some of the upcoming matches for Cabana and Spanky. Punk was probably the most popular wrestler in ROH leading into the summer, having just won a bitter feud with Jimmy Rave, but had also just signed a developmental deal with WWE and was thus obviously on his way out of Ring of Honor. On his alleged last night with the company in mid-June, he won the ROH World Title from Austin Aries (in a great match that everyone should check out, by the way), and promptly turned heel on the celebrating fans. What followed was a two-month reign of terror with Punk threatening to leave with the title, ducking dangerous challengers James Gibson and a returning Christopher Daniels as much as was possible. This show and the next night in Chicago Ridge were Punk’s actual final dates with ROH, and he was scheduled for a Four Way Elimination match against Gibson, Daniels and career-long nemesis Samoa Joe in Dayton and then a match against Cabana the next night, just to give you some perspective.

Anyway, back to the promo. Spanky asks CM Punk for a title shot (asking that we forget him just losing to Cabana and calling CM Punk “palsy wals” along the way), but Punk shuts him down by pointing out that Spanky will be on Velocity and Punk will be on RAW. This actually draws a “Heat!” chant from the crowd. Spanky eventually leaves, but not before calling Punk “a stinker” (prompting another chant from the crowd). Punk goes on to cut a great heel promo about how he’s the best around and how he built the company and how he’s taking the belt with him when he leaves.

The Analysis:
An absolute clinic of how to put on a low-impact but highly entertaining match, Cabana and Spanky both brought their comedy A-games with them to Dayton. While not a traditional **** classic as a match, Spanky and Cabana showed how much fun a wrestling match can be with a good crowd and a decent sense of humor. This match is further proof that great wrestling doesn’t always have to be the result of endless chain wrestling or a blood soaked feud.

The Aftermath:
The next night in Chicago Ridge proved a major one for both Cabana and Spanky. Spanky turned on good friend and new ROH World Champion James Gibson during their tag team title shot at BJ Whitmer & Jimmy Jacobs, and all for another shot at the ROH World Title. Spanky would go on to lose the eventual title matches (first a three-way also involving Homicide and then later that night a singles match against Gibson) and would briefly join Prince Nana’s Embassy before leaving for World Wrestling Entertainment. Once in WWE, Spanky (now wrestling under his real name) was quickly teamed with fellow ROH alum Paul London. Kendrick and London would eventually go on to win the WWE Tag Team Titles.

As for Cabana, his fateful match up with CM Punk the following night in Chicago Ridge remains one of the landmark moments in Ring of Honor history. Turning out not to be a title match with Punk having lost the title to Gibson, Cabana and Punk battled in an emotional 2/3 Falls contest with Cabana narrowly defeating his best friend and partner in Punk’s final match in Ring of Honor. Actually, Punk made a brief one-night-only return in February 2006, but that’s neither here nor there. Cabana would next win the final match in his feud with Nigel McGuinness but would fall short in his attempt to win the ROH World Title from James Gibson. He would next move on to an eight-month blood feud with Homicide. In the time since his loss to Gibson, Cabana has had four more shots at Bryan Danielson’s ROH World Title. He has yet to win the World Title.

What We Learned:
It’s worth nothing that a preliminary comedy match had such a large effect on the ROH World Title picture over the coming months. Cabana and Spanky helped show that a big part of Independent wrestling is adaptability, as in the course of two nights, both men had to be a part of some very emotionally diverse moments. Be it a comedy match, a spot fest, a vicious heel turn or a draining farewell match against a good friend, Indie wrestlers have to be ready for anything when they arrive at a show. It’s nice to know that comedy still has a place on that list, and that there are competitors like Colt Cabana and Brian “Spanky” Kendrick that can pull it off at this high a level.

The Final Word:
What can I say? I’m a Cabana mark. As a longtime wrestling fan, it’s nice when I can find a wrestler whose every move entertains me. It’s not always about the best workrate (though his is actually quite high) or the flashiest moves (though his Asai moonsault is really very impressive). Sometimes it’s about who makes you laugh and smile the most when they’re in the ring. For me, that wrestler is Colt Cabana. This is just one of his great matches, both comedy and of the more serious variety, during his Ring of Honor tenure. To judge for yourself, Redemption is available at rohwrestling.com.

Feeback is always welcome, and can be sent by using the link at the bottom of this page. Thanks for reading and I’ll see you again next week when we again spend some time in the Independent Mid-Card.

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