The Top Ten 1.09.07: Worst Gimmicks

Posted by Julian Williams on 01.09.2007

The worst gimmicks ever as well as a buttload of reader feedback. A Vida Guerra-esque buttload. That's a whole heap of butt.

Hey people, welcome back to another fun-filled edition of The Top Ten. Today we're going to be looking at The Top Ten Worst Gimmicks of all time and with new atrocious gimmicks like The Boogeyman and The Great Khali, this is a list that could change day by day. But before we get into that, let's take a look at your feedback for the last few weeks.

Reader Feedback

First up is Justin, who has a slight beef with The Top Ten Gimmicks list:

Sorry, but I don't think (as much as I like King Booker) it's fair to put King Booker, a short term gimmick starting in 2006 in the list of all time great gimmicks, when there are so many more influential, mainstream gimmicks that have come and gone. For an all time list, you should be able to drop the name King Booker on the street and people should know what you're talking about, and KB wouldn't get as many votes as say Vader. The gimmick is too short lived to deserve a spot on the top 10 of all time, regardless of your enjoyment of it, as even most "mark" fans of today could care less about it.

Justin makes a legitimate beef here and maybe I was blinded by my love for all things King Booker. While it may have been a bit premature to include King Booker on that list already, I do believe that within a couple years when people discuss the best gimmicks ever in wrestling, King Booker will be a part of the conversation. Now can you dig that, you rogue!

Next up is Robert L. from PA who serves up his Top Ten Matches of '06:

10) Edge vs John Cena: WWE Title/TLC Match (Unforgiven)
09) Samoa Joe vs Kurt Angle I (TNA Genesis)
08) Rhino vs Samoa Joe vs Monty Brown (Hard Justice)
07) Kurt Angle vs The Undertaker: World Title (No Way Out)
06) Christian Cage vs Rhino: 6 Sides of barbed-wire Steel (Impact Prime
Time
Special)
05) LAX vs Styles/Daniels: NWA Tag Titles: Six Sides of Steel (Bound
for
Glory)
04) Edge/Mick Foley/Beulah vs Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beulah (ECW One
Night
Stand)
03) London/Kendrick vs Taylor/Regal vs MNM vs The Hardy Boyz: WWE Tag
Titles/Ladder Match (Armageddon)
02) Samoa Joe vs Kurt Angle II (Turning Point)
01) Edge vs Mick Foley: Hardcore Match (WrestleMania 22)

Good list here from Rob, the Rhino/Joe/Monty match is definitely a forgotten classic from '06 and the ending to the Cage/Rhino 6 sides of steel match is one of the best finishes I've seen to a match in a while. Good stuff here Rob, gold star for you.

Reinaldo is next on line and he feels one name was unjustly excluded from The Top Gimmicks list:

How can you forget the Honky Tonk Man. He was the number one heel in the WWF at one point. People paid to see this Elvis wannabe get his ass handed to him only to be disappointed for a year and a half.
The APA, first they were just thrown together and made to be followers of the Undertaker. Ron Simmons and John Layfield took this dead end gimmick and turned it into two bar room brawling bad boys.
Also another tag team or stable, The Dudley family. They were suppose to be a bunch of inbred mixed up half brothers. Today they are one of the most dominant tag teams EVER.

Wow, somebody actually saying something POSITIVE about the Honky Tonk Man? That has to be a first, somebody check the archives! The Dudley family was a pretty good gimmick and The Dudley Boys certainly became one of the best tag teams ever, but I don't think The Dudz are one of the best gimmicks ever. Of course, that's just my opinion because I know there's a whole heap of Dudley Boyz (excuse me WWE Legal….Team 3D) fans out there who would disagree with their exclusion. I don't really think of APA as a gimmick, I think they were more gimmick-y when they were The Acolytes and I always preferred the APA over The Acolytes. I always enjoyed seeing them pound on some ass. Even though in Bradshaw's case, that statement is probably more literal than we'd ever want to know. DAMN!

Shane from Decatur hopes I never write another column while intoxicated over the limit of every state….combined:

Sorry, seems like a popularity list rather than top ten............
Road Warriors?
George "the animal" Steele?
Blue Blazer?
Kamala?
Hillbilly Jim?

Yer killin' us, please get sober....

Ok Shane has a point with the Road Warriors and maybe George "The Animal" Steele, but Kamala? The Blue Blazer? Mother Fucking Hillbilly Jim?!? Really? Well everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but I know that I personally enjoyed pretty much everyone on my list more than any of these guys. I don't think Shane should be a spokesperson for sobriety. That's like Paris Hilton being a spokesperson for virginity.

Andrew continues with some hate directed towards King Booker. How dare you?!? PEASANT! :

Bookers gimmick helped advance him but I really wouldn't put it top 10.
I think the King Booker character has become one of the most overrated
of all time... Its just cheap to me. For me how an earth you could not
include the Ultimate Warrior gimmick is ridiuclous..... the mysterious
frantic warrior from parts unknown was one of the hottest characters of
all time and that was certainly NOT based on his wrestling ability and
to not even mention good ole Jim in the honorary section is crazy.

Drew has a very good point here about Warrior and I just think that my hatred towards Warrior blinds me to the fact that during his run, he was insanely over. I was one of the few kids that didn't like Warrior, he never really did it for me. But you're right Andrew, he did deserve a spot so that's my bad. I apologize to Mr. Warrior Warrior Warrior for his exclusion. Please don't sue me.

Dave checks in with more love for Warrior:

Nice list but surely the Ultimate Warrior deserves a place not only on the list but near the top? I know TAFKA Jim Hellwig may be a bit of a loon but it must still count as a gimmick and not just an exaggeration of the man's regular persona? Good picks though,

What I said to Drew goes ditto for you Dave. Still don't like Warrior, though. Crazy bastard. Please don't sue me Mr. Warrior. Warrior. Warrior. Esquire.

Next up is Rick who agrees with some some picks, but feels I missed a few:

Im glad you put Mr. Perfect so high on the list he is
one of my all time favorite wrestlers. You did forget
a few that should have made the list though. The
biggest ommision in my opinon is Roddy Roddy Piper.
This was a ridiculas gimmick and without the Hot Rods
Personality he would have been "the guy in the skirt."
I do think the Roddy Piper character qualifies as a
gimmick but maybe you disagree. Another huge one you
forgot:Golddust. Look how far that went and how
ridiculasly over he was before Russo ruined his
charcter by making it shock tv bullshit. Another great
one was the Bushwackers. The Wakers were hugely over
despite a ridiculas win/loss record and some very
famous Royal Rumble missteps. And if your counting
other organazations like TNA you gotta mention
Abyss:Sure its a Mick Foley rip off but its a damn
good one and it is different then Mankind becaause
Abyss doesnt get over with Promos like Mankind did he
gets over with wrestling and his more talented in the
ring then Foley was workrate wise.

I never really considered Rowdy Roddy Piper a gimmick, since he acted similar when he was in the NWA, but I could see a case being made and like I said before, everybody has their own definition of what a gimmick is. Goldust was definitely a gimmick and it was one of the best ever so my exclusion of him was fucked up, I admit it. The Bushwackers were fucking awesome! How could I have forgotten them? They were my favorite tag team when I was a kid. Seriously! I was a seriously weird kid. I dig Abyss, I think he's the best big man in the industry today and even though he started off as a sort of Mankind/Kane hybrid, I think he's been able to make a name for himself, so much so that he's the current NWA champion. Good stuff here Rick.

Chris makes it short and sweet:

you left out raven the best gimmick in wrestling

Quite true Chris, Raven was one of the best characters ever in wrestling so he at least deserved an honorable mention. Can't dispute it if the man is right!

Tom comes through to fix my gimmick list and he didn't even ask for his usual asking price. Now I have to cancel all the Brazilian call girls. Ohh screw it, more ass for me:

I haven't written since the tTop 10 Heel Turns because you have done a decent job thus far and not given me a reason to fix your list. Now I must step in and fix what is out of WHACK

1. Hulk Hogan - This was all gimmick and bred an entire generation. You said Stone Cold or the Rock were exaggerations. This wasn't. This was a Gimmick that Hogan made HUGE and then fashioned his life around it.

2. Undertaker - you may have this one at #2.

3. Jake "The Snake" Roberts - ummm yeah

4. Abdullah the Butcher - if you didn't put him here then you must stick a fork in your head to atone. :|

5. Stone Cold - contrary to your statement, Steve wasn't like he is now as an exaggeration, rather, he like hogan before him, turned his gimmick into his life.

6. Sgt Slaughter -

7. Iron Shiek

8. Nikito Koloff - Russian Nightmare before jesus said you could have nightmares. Between his feuds with Magnum and Dusty and his alliance with dusty, he put many many asses in seats and made many hearts stop with the sickle.

9. Million Dollar Man -

10. Brother Love - nukka please...this man REINVENTED the Manager role for years to come.

Your welcome for fixing this list. :|

Hogan is a funny one when talking about gimmicks because I know some people who think he is obviously a gimmick, while some other people I've asked thinks that was Hogan being Hogan, just exaggerated with all the "brother, brother, brother" stuff. If you include Hogan as a gimmick (which I don't) you have to place him at the top, so I can't disagree with Tommy Boy on that one. Stone Cold I don't buy as a gimmick, I think "Stunning" Steve Austin was more a gimmick for him than Stone Cold is. That man is a redneck through and through. All the rest of your picks are pretty good so you get a thumbs up from me Tom. Now give me back my Brazilian whores!

Next up is JLAJRC who mentions some of his favorite gimmicks:

Fantastic list, as always. In fact, my list is the first I've ever sent you where I don't totally change everything. But there are a few alterations.

Honorable Mention: Big Boss Man- He was always a personal favorite of mine, with the blue police costume and nightstick. His "Go to Jail" match with Mountie is a classic. Great theme song, too.

10.) IRS- The other half of Money Inc. was as equally hated as Million Dollar Man.

9.) Ultimate Warrior- Despite what he became later and what the WWE says, he was entertaining to watch and listen to. His matches with Savage and Hogan are classics. He is also part of oneof the most legendary moments in the next my 8's man's career.

8.) HonkyTonk Man- This should have failed miserably. A wrestling Elvis impersonator? But because the man was so charasmatic you couldn't help but hate him. His Intercontinental title reign is legendary. Plus, we all remember the Warrior destroying him at Summerslam.

7.) Goldust- Everytime he appeared, your mouth drop. Just what the heck was he and what was his deal? I do prefer the original "gold" version vs. the neon one he became with Luna Vachon later. I think this has to do with me feeling that Dustin Rhodes is one of the most underrated wrestlers ever (if you ever make a underrated wrestlers list, he's definately in my top 5). Plus, his tag team with Booker T was great.

6.) Mick Foley (all personas)- He took three distinct characters, and made them all popular. That is how good he was.

5.) Kane
4.) Mr. Perfect
3.) Sting
2.) Million Dollar Man
Your feelings match mine on 5-2.
1.) Undertaker- The man who got me watching wrestling and who was my first autograph. Paul Bearer was excellent as his manager. Greatest theme of all time, as far as I'm concern. His record speaks for itself.

Good stuff here, and I noticed yet ANOTHER shout out to The Honky Tonk Man! Did he put you guys on his payroll or something? I haven't heard this many nice things said about Tonk in….EVER!

Floyd bangs out his top ten list like he bangs out all the ladies. Right Floyd? Hell yea:

1) Cena vs Triple H vs Edge (Backlash) - Bell-to-bell
brilliance between two men who had already been in
4/5-star triple-threat matches - Cena with Angle and
HBK, and HHH with Benoit and HBK. In fact, maybe HBK
should have been in this match instead of Edge. Well
thankfully Edge was not overshadowed and all three had
pretty much equal opportunities for the win and it
could have gone any of the three ways.
2) Undertaker vs Kurt Angle (No Way Out) - Tops a lot
of peoples' lists and I can see why. It's the shock
factor that always gets me. Angle was a transitional
champion popping pills lest he be disabled from a
standing armbar or an eye-rake, while Taker has been
working on borrowed parts very infrequently and has
rarely looked good to begin with. But damn it, this
match was exceptional and one that I really could not
call until it was over. Just a great moment for modern
wrestling.
3) Joe vs Angle II (Turning Point) - despite the
convoluted sports-entertainment ending, which I didn't
really disapprove of anyway, this was better than the
first match between them and that's saying a bit.
4) Styles and Daniels vs LAX - Ultimate X, just
surpasses the cage match partly due to Daniels almost
dying at the end.
5) 'ditto' - Six sides of steel, another wonderfully
horrendous battle.
6) Kurt Angle vs Rob Van Dam - number one
contendership match on an episode of ECW, probably the
best ECW match since it came back in my opinion.
7) Cena vs Edge in TLC - a three-bump finishing
sequence (four if you include the Lita FU) really put
the icing on a competetive, just really fun match.
8) Clusterfuck tag team ladder match at Armageddon -
more than a pleasant surprise, just a shame Mercury
fucked his face up for no extra buys (apart from a few
ordering the replay).
9) Foley, Edge and Lita vs Funk, Dreamer and Beulah -
Brutality. Unlike other recent great hardcore matches
with Foley - namely, against Orton and of course Edge
- it was unpredictable and was frantic all the way
through.
10) Foley vs Edge at Wrestlemania - I just didn't
really connect with it as much as some of the other
matches, probably because it was obvious that Edge
wasn't going to lose unless he'd set fire to some
diva's minge or fingered Stephanie backstage to make
her miscarry her baby, but it was great entertainment
hence it being on my list at all.

Just coming up short is Foley vs Flairin I Quit,
because of the piss-poor ending and the fact Foley
lost AGAIN. Great psychology in that match, though.

Good stuff here by Floyd and I like his inclusion of The Backlash triple threat match at number one because I think that was one of the most overlooked matches of 2006 and it was pure excellence. One of the best three way matches you'll ever see.

Top Ten Mainstay, Tanner, checks in with one of his always fantastic lists:

Hey Julian,

This is a really good list that you have here. Like you said, there are many interpretations of what a gimmick truly is. I believe that a gimmick is simply the character that you are given or the character that you made up. I think that it doesn't necessarily have to be far from the actual person as long as they play out the character is presented really well.

I think that while this list is made up mostly of older gimmicks, there are some nice gimmicks that are going right now. Take Christopher Daniels for instance. The guy cuts AMAZING promos, is a wrestling badass, and has an awesome gimmick that puts the whole package together.

There is also "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. He would be #1 on my list because he was given a simple gimmick of being the everyman, and exploded it, milking it for all it was worth. He drank beer in the middle of the ring, flipped practically everybody off, and beat up his boss and co-workers. In reality, he is a very quite and private person, not a thing like his character.

You also have Hulk Hogan. The irresistible force. Because of his easy-to-market gimmick, he quickly became the most recognizable face in wrestling, and soon, the world, becoming an icon of the 80s. Like Austin, Hulk is a very private person who tries not to attract attention to himself outside of the ring. But the man can sure as hell manipulate a promotion.

SO, here's my list.

10. The Original Sheik
9. Ted Dibiase
8. Christopher Daniels
7. Jake "The Snake" Roberts
6. Razor Ramon
5. Mankind
4. Sgt. Slaughter
3. Hulk Hogan
2. Undertaker
1. Stone Cold

Good stuff here by Tanner, but that's to be expected from him. I again don't agree that Stone Cold is a gimmick, but it's his list so he gets to include whoever the hell he wants.

Darth takes some time out to show some love to The Deadman:

i would just like to say that i have just finished reading your column,
and
would love to say 'thanks' for being one of the handful who actually
sees
the undertaker as slightly more than a broken down old man.

it is sad that people refuse to see the agility and professionalism of
the
undertaker, and refuse to recognise the fact that he is quite frankly
one of
the most over characters in the game today.

props to you

‘Taker definitely gets a lot more slack than he deserves and I'm glad that people like Darth can appreciate just how good the big man is. A lot of people like to say that he only has good matches with good wrestlers, but not everybody who has every wrestled HBK, Kurt Angle or HHH has had a good match with them and yet everytime ‘Taker would step in the ring with one of them or various other wrestlers, he would put on a great match. He may not be the greatest wrestler ever, but he's certainly not the worst so he deserves a lot more respect than he gets sometimes from the IWC.

Ty hits me up with a few of his favorite, and forgotten, gimmicks:

My man, you forgot to mention a few gimmicks that I thought were
better. I
like the Doink Gimmick but I think my two picks should have been on the
list

Waylon Mercy and
Al Snow w/Head

Waylon Mercy was light years ahead of it's time and I'm not even sure
if
people today would get the gimmick.

and finally after years and years of crappy gimmicks. The king of
gimmicks
finally scored with Head. This too is a gimmick that I think could of
drew
big money even if it was invented maybe 7 years before hand.

Peace

Ok, Ty had me with Al Snow and Head because that's one of my favorite guilty pleasures ever in wrestling. I mean a grown man talking to a mannequin head and its name is actually Head?!? That's gold baby, GOLD!! But then Ty completely lost me with Waylon Mercy. Waylon Mercy? Really Ty? It's ok, buddy, we all have our guilty pleasures. Mines is Papa Shango. Come on, he put spells on people and would cover them in black blood. Not just regular blood. BLACK blood! That's the worst kind.

Chris S. runs down his top gimmicks list:

Not a bad list, I think these guys deserve mention too...

1. Kamala (A terrible oversight in my opinion)

2. Abdullah the Butcher

3. Goldust

4. The Ultimate Warrior

5. The Missing Link

6. The Grand Wizard

7. Iron Mike Sharpe and his "protected" fore arm

8. Skandar Akbar

9. Bruiser Brody

10. The Brooklyn Brawler

Keep up the good work

Chris had some good stuff here with a lot of forgotten goodies. Iron Mike Sharpe shout out! Twenty-three Millionty points for Chris! You guys really seem to love Kamala. Did I miss the Kamala bandwagon? I was too busy staring at Melina's tits.

Alan G. reminisces on a few of his favorite gimmicks:

Hey happy new year julian.

Just to say i enjoyed the gimmick top ten,i dont have any disagreement with the list but it did give me some memories.
Those Perect Vignettes, i remember one where Mr Perfect had an American Football,had a guy run to the end of the field and threw it absolute perfect to the guy.
And dont forget,he used to say "Now its time,for The Perfect Plex"
Awesome. Ted DiBiases belt has the the most stunning belt in wwf/e history, was it really made of solid gold and diamonds? Either way,i loved it but booed the hell out of MDM for having money.
I am surprised though,you never gave The Ultimate Warrior a mention,there was no-one like him at the time,there will be no-one like him ever again,a legend imo too.

Im glad your doing Worst Gimmicks too, i remember emailing you and asking you to do it a while back. Heres some that spring to mind.
Shawn Stasiaks Planet Stasiak has to be in there, someone mustve had it in for him to give him that gimmick.
Eugene-Say no more
Al Snows HEAD-I really hate that.

I cant actually think of any more now,theres that many that i think ive become numb to awful gimmicks and just accept it!!!

All the best

Good stuff here by Alan despite his utter disrespect for HEAD. That's all right, I'll convince Head to forgive you. The Perfect Vignettes were indeed absolutely awesome and The Million Dollar Belt is the most gorgeous looking belt ever in wrestling. Period.

Dave takes some time out from his busy school schedule to give me his top ten matches of '06:

10: Shane McMahon Vs Shawn Michaels - Street Fight - Saturday's Night Main Event

9: Chris Benoit Vs William Regal - No Mercy

8: Carlito Vs Shelton Benjamin Vs Johnny Nitro - Intercontinental Championship - Vengeance

7: Chris Benoit Vs Finlay - Judgement Day

6: Trish Stratus Vs Lita - Unforgiven

5: Randy Orton Vs Kurt Angle - Smackdown

4: Mick Foley Vs Edge - Wrestlemania 22

3: Ric Flair Vs Mick Foley - I Quit Match - Summerslam

2: Mick Foley, Edge, Lita Vs Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer, Beulah - ECW One Night Stand

1: Kurt Angle Vs The Undertaker

Good stuff here by Dave, I can't really disagree with any of his picks as they were all great matches.

And finally we have Rahmin who questions my on-again, off-again crack habit:

You sir, are on crack.

I don't have the time to go into detail, but putting Foley/Edge as number 1 without giving a NOD to Cena/RVD just for crowd interaction is plain wrong.

Later.

I gotta admit that the Cena/RVD match had one of the best crowds that I saw all year at any wrestling show, but from a pure "wrestling" standpoint, I think the picks that I included were better matches, although maybe they didn't have the same great crowd that the Cena/RVD match had. But I will give you your due sir and admit that it probably did deserve at least an honorable mention. It was pretty damn entertaining.

That's all for the emails people. Thanks to all you guys for sending in your feedback and thanks to every one of you guys that read this column week in and week out. I really appreciate it. Keep sending in that feedback people, let me know what's on your mind.

The Top Ten Worst Gimmicks

10) The Red Rooster
Terry Taylor was a very talented wrestler that gained a cult like following while wrestling in federations like the UWF and the NWA. Vince McMahon swayed Terry to join the WWE with promises of great fame, but instead stuck him with one of the worst gimmicks ever. As "The Red Rooster" Terry would wear an absolutely ridiculous red getup and would come down to the ring motioning his head like a rooster while screaming, "cock-a-doodle-do!" Despite having tremendous talent, Taylor would frequently lose matches due to him being a "rookie" (despite the fact he was an accomplished veteran) and having his opponent roll him up while he asked his manager, Bobby Heenan, what he should do next. The WWE had a great talent in their hands with Terry Taylor and instead of him becoming a ring legend, he became a joke due to a completely horrible gimmick.

9) Akeem The African Dream
What happens when a large white man (formally One Man Gang) suddenly declares that he is from Africa and dresses up in a Dashiki while attempting to act black? You get one of the worst gimmicks EVER! Seriously, a white man should never wear a Dashiki. And you guys thought Cena was bad.

8) Sparky Plugg
This gimmick was so bad that Hardcore Holly was had his current gimmick for about eight years and still can't shake off the funk from this absolutely shitty gimmick. I guess the creative minds back then thought it would only be natural to give a wrestler a Nascar gimmick since they probably figured that both wrestling and race car driving attract the same type of fans. They couldn't be more wrong as this was one of the most uninteresting characters ever and how it didn't absolutely kill Bob Holly's career is a miracle to me. Even though he's legitimately one of the toughest men ever to step inside the ring, a certain part of me will always look at Bob Holly as Sparky Plugg and I think many other longtime fans feel the same way.

7) Mantaur
A man dressed as a bull?!? Why that just has to bring in the ratings, right? RIGHT?!? How about…..Noooo! During the mid-90's, this abomination of a wrestler would circle around the ring acting like a bull and moo at his opponents. It's gimmicks like this that you think couldn't have possibly existed until you see the footage and shake your head in disbelief.

6) Giant Gonzales
Holy crap, where do I start with this one? Horrible wrestler, horrible talker, horrible gimmick. And then on top of that give him an absolutely HORRENDOUS costume, complete with fake muscles and fur. Did people actually expect The Undertaker to produce anything decent with this guy?

5) Isaac Yankem, DDS
Who's dentist is that jacked? Seriously? Who actually thought that an evil dentist was a good gimmick? Out of all the people that Jerry Lawler could have brought in to help him in his feud with Bret Hart, the numerous legends he knew throughout the years, he decided to bring in his DENTIST?!? Thank God they were able to pull the plug on this abortion of a gimmick and find something better for Glen Jacobs to do. Luckily Kane was a good enough gimmick to make people forget about Isaac fucking Yankem. Well, almost…

4) Abe "Knuckleball" Scwartz
During the baseball strike of 1994, many fans were missing their favorite pastime so WWE's solution was to debut this gimmick and this is one that should have definitely stayed in the dugout. Apparently he was a disgruntled baseball player who was going to take out his RAGE in the WWE. It didn't take long for the fans to turn on this gimmick and was quickly dismissed. A little trivia for all your trivia nerds out there, Abe was originally called MVP before being called Abe Scwartz so the current MVP has some very big shoes to fill. That's sarcasm folks.

3) The Gobbledy Gooker
What in the blue hell was this? Seriously, what the fuck?!? After weeks of hype and fanfare, the WWE debuted this atrocity at the 1990 Survivor Series and the result was instant backlash from the fans. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if the WWE didn't hype up his debut like it was the second coming of Christ. How Vince ever convinced Hector Guerrero to done this costume and dance like an idiot with Gene Okerland for damn near 10 minutes is a mystery to me. I hope Hector got a bunch of cash for this because this will always be remembered as one of the worst gimmicks and events EVER to happen in WWE. A fucking dancing turkey, Jesus Christ!

2) Phantasio
If you don't remember this gimmick, don't feel bad, he was only around for one episode of WWE Wrestling Challenge in 1995. But this gimmick was so horribly unforgettable, that it was became a sort of urban legend within the world of wrestling. Phantasio was a magician who painted his face like a sad clown and dressed in a costume you would see on one of Madonna's dancers during the 1990 Vogue tour. Not that I would know how any of them dressed. Anyway, he supposedly performed magic tricks on his opponents and removed their underwear (seriously) to surprise them and roll them up for a victory. Luckily after his victory over Tony DeVito, he disappeared from the wrestling landscape forever to become one of wrestling's greatest (or should I say worst) mysteries.

1) The Shockmaster
Holy mother of our Lord, this has got to be the biggest embarrassment EVER for WCW and giving the way WCW ended, that's a big statement. For the weeks leading up to Clash Of The Champion 24, WCW hyped up the debut of The Shockmaster like he was going to be the greatest thing ever to happen to wrestling. Instead what the fans got was one of the most unintentionally funny debuts ever as The Shockmaster, complete with acid wash jeans and a glittery Storm Trooper helmet, busted through a wall to make a dramatic entrance but instead busted his ass and had his helmet fall off. That probably was a blessing in disguise as that made WCW pull the plug on this character a lot sooner than they probably would have. If you've never seen this debut, try to dig it up somewhere because you are guaranteed to laugh your ass off. Absolutely horrible gimmick, WCW was absolutely the worst when attempting gimmicks and that's saying a lot considering some of WWE's horrible gimmicks.

Drive-By Pimpin'

Check out all these UPDATED great columns by my 411 brethren:

-Andy Clark's "Shimmy"
-Ari's "Column Of Honor"
-Sean, Alex and David's "Triple Threat"
-Bayani's "Truth B Told"
-Weyer's "Shining The Spotlight"
-Byers' "Cheap Wrestling for Cheap People"
-Larry and Geoff's "3R's"
-Fact Or Fiction
-O'Dog's " Goodness"
-Sat and Uncle Trunx's "High Road/Low Road"
-Phill Feltham's "Quick Talkdown"
-Sarnecky's "Piledriver Report"
-Slimmer's News Report
-Hidden Highlights
-Carapola's "That Was Then" and "Friendly Competition"
-The Fink's Payload
-Gamble's "Just 'Spose"
-Cook's "Ask 411"
-Meehan's "Meethinks"
-Sforcina's "Evolution Schematic"
-Prag's "In Defense Of?."
-Wrestlers of the Week
-Sullivan's "Crystal Ball"
-Randle's "Wrestling News Experience"
-Joe Boo's "Ringside Or Cheap Seats"
-Linkous' "WWE vs. TNA"
-Double M's Rasslin Report
-News To Start Your Weekend
-Dunn's Rawtopsy, Smackdown Breakdown, & ECW eXperience
-Cook's "News From Cook's Corner"
-Mike LaFave's "Getting Over"
-Your News, Larry's Views
-Mike Hamflett's "Storylines"
-Rodriquez's "Puerto Rico Report"
-Zac Calhoun's "The Ripple Effect"

The Sign-Off

We're done here folks. Be sure to send in all of your feedback and come back next week when the topic will be The Top Ten Opening Matches. Until then, go wash your ass!