Truth B Told 1.11.07: The Stuff of Champions

Posted by Bayani Domingo on 01.11.2007

“Championship Material” is a very subjective term these days. Sure you might “Draw”, but do you have enough “Junk in your trunk” and a mini skirt?

Okay, let me start off by saying that Triple H > Great Khali. However, Giant Head Chop > Pedigree. I believe that is what the kids these days call "new math". I think it is pretty clear that moving the Great Khali to RAW was not a premeditated move on the part of Vince and his "creative" staff. What is more puzzling is that they move Khali over as a way to try to compensate for HHH being gone. The only problems with that is, #1. Triple H is a face and Khali is a heel, #2. Triple H was involved in a feud with Rated RKO and Khali is now feuding with Cena, or so it seems. I'm not sure if the basic logic is that they are replacing a proven "Draw" and "performer" like Triple H with another proven "dr...um....perf....uh....er....mammal? What this leads me to believe is they are somehow building towards Wrestlemania and somehow Triple H was to be involved with Cena somehow. Leading me to believe somehow HHH turns heel and leading to another showdown or is involved in a 3 way or 4 way including Edge and Orton. Those plans have changed however. What is puzzling is that now RAW has TWO "monsters" who can't speak for themselves and have finishing moves involving a hand flying very quickly towards your head. *Side Note: I was always hoping that somehow The Godfather would have hooked up with Bradshaw somehow and changed his finisher to a running "Pimp Slap from Hell", oh well, missed opportunities I guess*

I don't think a lot of people truly believed Umaga was going to come out as the WWE World Champ at the end of the Cena feud. Even less people believe Khali will hold the most important belt on the most watched show for the biggest wrestling company in the world. So where does that leave us? Looking for more talent I guess, but to be more specific, it leaves us looking for more "Championship Caliber" talent. Now, I can't just do a column about RAW's "Championship Material" because that would be a mighty short column, so what the hell, might as well look at the other big brands as well. Now keep in mind that this is to mean "Championship Material" for the year 2007. I don't have a crystal ball to see 2 or 3 years into the future so we'll just assume we're looking at the current calendar year. Plus, if I DID have a crystal ball, I would have bet my paycheck on my hometown Seattle Seahawks last weekend. Yeah, Seahawks…who knew??:

RAW

The Candidates: Carlito, HBK, Edge, Randy Orton, Jeff Hardy, Ric Flair

TBT's Choices: Orton, Edge

This is a pretty shabby list indeed. Right now there are a couple of notable exclusions from this list. Kenny and Nitro are easily excluded as they are still very young and clearly not ready yet for a run with the big belt yet. Shelton Benjamin was shunted back down to the tag ranks to presumably help spark a tag team renaissance that still hasn't really happened yet. Chris Masters is clearly on his way out since he is stuck in a feud with Carlito that surely won't end well for him. Plus K-Fed made fun of him, how far down the ladder do you have to be for K-Fed to make fun of you? It's like being the "Sweat Hog" that Screech beat up in that celebrity boxing match, he's CLEARLY the worst of the "Sweat Hogs" now, Juan Epstein finally gets his due. What we're left with are two aging superstars who both need to retire from a full time schedule, a mid-carder who has been stuck on a treadmill for 2 years now and whose gimmick and in-ring was better the first time around (when it was Razor Ramon), and three rather intriguing choices. I think a case can be made for the last three more than anyone else.

When you look at HBK, you see a proven "draw" and performer. The only problem is that HBK's body may not be best suited for a long title run, along with that a heel turn for him seems unlikely. Ric Flair could have a final farewell run with the title, but at this point, unless he's bleeding buckets, it's hard to really imagine him having the most compelling title defenses considering he's no longer a very good worker at this stage in his career. Jeff Hardy is an intriguing choice as one of the most "over" performers around as well as one of the last of the few of the old "WWF" stars who hasn't gotten at least a short run with the belt. If JBL, Booker T, and Rey Misterio Jr. get title reigns, why not Jeff Hardy? Oh that's right, he's an unreliable pothead spot monkey. Hey, sit down RVD, I wasn't talking about you. Still, there is an outside chance that if Hardy behave he'll get at least a major push in the main event scene provided someone like Edge holds the belt in 2007.

Edge and Orton are pretty much synonymous now that they are a team. It's pretty clear that both guys are seen as "Main Event" type players and seem to be the top heels in the company. Sorry Umaga, but if ramming your ass into someone's face is qualifications for a title run, then the "Spearmint Rhino" would be full of ex-champs. Well, actually I'm sure on any given occasion you could find at least one…but I digress. Edge and Orton are the only real credible threats to Cena at this point. I think Edge is more so considering his promo ability although his heat has gone down a bit without his redheaded furnace by his side, but Orton has the ability to still pull in the female viewers considering his boyish good looks. What? Is it gay to acknowledge Orton is universally accepted as one of the most popular wrestlers amongst the ladies? Oh, it is…hence why he's also a big pin up boy for the gay community. Which make sense, I mean, Orton totally took it up the ass from HHH after his first title run flop, I guess that means he's already ‘broken in'.

The problem with both of these guys is the "e" has made their respective title runs look like jokes, so unless they go over HBK strong to put him out of business, they are fighting an up hill battle.My guess is we may end up with a 3 way at ‘mania. Which, would not be so bad when you consider Umaga or Khali as the alternatives. If I had to hedge my bets as to which of these guys would take the belt off Cena I'm going with Orton as it would put him on par with Edge with 2 title runs each, if Edge gets the belt it puts him at an incredible advantage over Orton that would put him out of Orton's league. Also, since we haven't seen an Orton/Cena feud yet, it would be the freshest match up. If I had my way, I'd do the unthinkable and have Orton AND Edge somehow hold the title simultaneously, which if done right would put both guys over HUGE as well as provide a compelling uphill battle for Cena that otherwise would probably not happen with any one opponent.


Smackdown

The Candidates: Undertaker, King Booker, Kane, Benoit, Finlay, Mr. Kennedy, Matt Hardy.

TBT's Choices: King Booker ,Undertaker, Kane (Dark Horse)

The great thing about Smackdown is that ANYONE could be champion. You can either be a "Next Big Thing" ala Lesner or Cena, a "Good Company Man who Deserves his Due" ala Rey Rey, JBL, and King Booker, or an "Unstoppable Monster" ala Big Show. The BAD thing about Smackdown is that no one really jumps out at you. I think Matt Hardy is probably also on that "Company Man Who Deserves his Shot" list that includes the best workers to never hold a major title. Problem is, he proved Vince wrong once and Vince hates to be wrong, the other thing is that it's clear the "e" had no real plans to ever reward him for turning down TNA. Great thinking Matthew. Finlay and Benoit are both threats and incredibly over with the fans and great workers. But both will find it difficult to draw as champions, plus they know their roles are now to help get the young guys ready for the main event and help fill it in, not lead it. Kennedy….Kennedyyyyy, is in my opinion a bit over rated. His in-ring is passable, but not spectacular. He doesn't have the best "look" or physique, and he feels like a 2nd rate Rock/Chris Jericho knockoff. In another year or two that might change, but for now I don't see him as the "next big thing" so he's kind of the odd man out. Plus, the man is ‘taker's bitch right now. To the point Kennedy is telling the rest of the guys the bruise on his face is from "falling down the stairs" and "you don't know ‘taker the way I know ‘taker".

This leaves us with Kane, ‘taker, and King Booker. I think King Booker will almost assuredly get another title run as he was great as champ when he finally got his shot. But between the other two, well there is some intrigue there. Kane is really one of those "veterans who have earned a title run", except for the fact that he "technically" already had a title run. What's that you say? You don't remember that run? Well maybe it was because it only lasted 24 hours. Kane is still a "monster" and on Smackdown he's a credible champion. The same applies to ‘Taker, but also add, "Over to an ungodly degree". If Batista/Taker takes place at WM as rumored, I think ‘taker will win it because after all this time, Batista doesn't need the rub that would come from ending "the streak". If that goes down then Kane is waiting in the wings and we'd have one final Kane/Undertaker feud before one or either man retires (rumored) this year. For some reason, I think that program would actually "draw" especially if they go with a "retirement match" angle at the end. The easy choice here is King Booker, but don't think that just because Kane and ‘Taker don't need the belt or even would demand it, that they still couldn't do some good things with it.

TNA

The Candidates: Kurt Angle, Samoa Joe, Rhyno, Christian, Sting, Jeff Jarrett, Christopher Daniels

TBT's Choices: Christian, Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle

Christian HAS to win the belt from Abyss. I can't see any logic where that doesn't happen. Wait…I mean, logic where Jeff Jarrett isn't back on TNA TV that is. Christian should be the top heel in TNA until Angle and Joe conclude their first feud. Yes, I said FIRST feud. You really think one of these guys won't hold the belt at some point this year in order to give them another reason to have a great set of matches. To be honest, I could watch Joe/Angle matches every week for the entire year. That and Nash/Shelley skits…and Gail Kim… and BJ's. I'll just throw that in the mix too. I really only threw Rhyno in there because he's always a threat for a second title reign, Jeff Jarrett as a "face" could arrive any time, and Christopher Daniels is TNA's "Best Wrestler Who Hasn't Won the Big Belt" candidate. It won't happen I'm sure, but I damn well wish it would.

Christian as champion opens up a lot of possibilities as well as a good chance of seeing Samoa Joe take the belt off him in order to feud with Angle. Then again, the Christian/Sting/Abyss 3-ways have been lacking and if you subbed out Sting and Abyss for Joe and Angle. Damn, that would be quite a match. Hell, what is the possibility of an Ultimate X match for the Heavyweight belt. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. TNA does a good job of changing belts in a timely fashion and considering Christian is destined to take it in the next month of so, chances are at least two other guys will hold the belt this year, my money is on Joe and Angle. Or Russo. You know, he'd totally book that just to piss me off.

ECW

The Candidates: Hardcore Holly, CM Punk, Test, RVD, Bayani Domingo

TBT's Choices: Test, RVD

What? I'm no worse a candidate than Holly or Test am I? I can't imagine Test would hold the belt, then again, did anyone see Lashley holding it? Hardcore Holly might get the JBL/Booker/Rey title run if they decide he is indeed going to be the best heat magnet. RVD, despite his past fuck ups, will probably get another shot holding the belt and has the best chance of all of the candidates. This could set up a "Shoot/work" type feud between him and Punk leading to an end of the year Punk title win. While CM Punk isn't necessarily the "Next Big Thing" in the "e", he's as NBT as it gets for the perpetually overlooked ECW. Punk vs Lashley isn't really a credible feud yet, but RVD against either two works, hence it's almost a given that Mr. Tuesday Night will get the belt. But after this week's run in by Test, it's clear he'll be pushed as the biggest heel in WWECW along with Hardcore Holly. It seems like Vince isn't really convinced that a straight Lashley/Test or Lashley/Holly Face vs Heel match would be able to ‘draw'. If Vince really had any "grapefruits" he'd give Punk his shot at the title by Summerslam. But then again, after a clean loss to Holly, I don't think Punk's chance look really good. Well logical booking says a heel goes over Lashley at their next PPV to set up a title chase, but between Test and Holly who do you choose? It's like trying to decide whether you'd like to watch a video tape of your parents having sex or letting them watch one of you. Who am I kidding, I know at least a few wrestling fans that would let their parents watch if it meant finally getting laid. Sickos.

RoH

The Candidates: Chris Hero, Colt Cabana, Christopher Daniels, Roderick Strong, Davey Richards, Samoa Joe

TBT's Choices: Chris Hero, Roderick Strong, Davey Richards (Dark Horse)

So my thinking here is that while Samoa Joe and Bryan Danielson had long reigns, year long reigns as RoH champs, there have been more than a few shorter ones. Well, pretty much everyone except Austin Aries who did a good 6 months. My thinking is the belt will change hands at least twice this year. I figure Chris Hero and Roderick Strong are the best candidates outside of Samoa Joe being the first ever 2-time champ. But to be honest, I love the fact that no one has ever won the belt twice. Another choice would be two long time RoH loyalists, Colt Cabana and Christopher Daniels. If Homicide and Danielson got their titles, surely Daniels deserves one before he retires. Cabana will probably never hold the belt, but then again, who thought Xavier would?

My money is on Hero or Strong taking it from Homicide then the other taking it off the winner. Hero right now could be the first TRUE heel champion since CM Punk and Xavier had the belt. Actually more Xavier than Punk because no one really hated Punk, they knew deep down that he'd never really take the belt with him, Xavier on the other hand. That guy can go eat a dick. Supersized. Hero has the ability to put on a good match with at least ¾ of the roster but as a true heel. Hell, even bring in a stable to back him up, man, I miss stables *tear*. I think a short feud with Claudio, a swerve that leads to Claudio helping Hero win the belt, then a "Sweet n' Sour" KoW reunion would be a great idea. Roddy, on the other hand, has put on great match after great match, and just missed both the World and Pure titles on several occasions. I think he really could be the next flag bearer for RoH, plus he's pretty firmly planted on the East Coast since he's the FIP Champion and he's already turned down TNA as a possible home. He's a great candidate at this point.

Davey Richards is not just a "dark horse" candidate, he's like Ron Killings at midnight dark. Still, the guy's career to this point looks awfully familiar to another young up and comer who took the Indy world by storm two years ago. He was part of the "Next Generation" if you will who managed to unseat the baddest of bad asses RoH had to offer. Yeah, that's right, Pelle Primeau…oh, I meant Austin Aries. I know that chances are I'm 100% wrong, but still, do the research, make your comparisons, is there any other "Young Gun" right now you see who could come out of no where to win the belt? Maybe that little fat nappy haired blonde student? What's his name again? Fatty McNaps? Or worse…Jimmy Rave? *Damn, did you hear that? It sounded like a Jewish Internet columnist's head exploding*

The Truth

RAW is a mess right now. I was appalled at how bad the show was on Monday. Cena is getting the Hulk Hogan push now as they are just building up heel after heel for him to go over, none of which looked really credible considering the last guy to go over him held the belt for about a month. Orton and Edge have the chance to make things interesting over there and something exciting like a double win in the Royal Rumble would be pretty sweet if you ask me. Tease the tension as they are the last two left, then they purposely eliminate themselves at the same time for the double win? Cool. Over on Smackdown it's clear Booker or ‘Taker are the only real threats right now, but never count out Kane, especially on a show known for rewarding loyalty and longevity. Too bad the same can't be said for Benoit's pitiful situation. I'm not sure how much of him really believes Eddie would be okay with all this.

RoH seems to be starting off the year right. A new champion is guaranteed to give the belt some stability for the next couple months till they figure out what to do with it. While ‘cide is no "transitional champ" no one believes another year long title reign is in the works. There are still a few decent options as well, Strong and Hero being my choices, along with some other long shots, rising stars, and deserving veterans. Then again RoH could pull off something pretty amazing by deciding to shock the world and letting a puro guy take the title. CIMA or KENTA or …anyone else with all caps in their name would be a pretty good short term champion and ensure that the talent exchange between East and…Far East would be in good standing. Then again, you never know, you could always just put it on the next guy who signs a WWE developmental deal. That always seems to work too.

ECW is a schmozz right now as Holly, Punk, RVD, Lashley, and Test are all in the main event picture. Not because they stand out, but because they are the only viable and "Viable" is a VERY subjective word here, talent in the company. Really, on what other brand would any of these guys be champ? If I had to choose a heel to give over Lashley, I'd pick Test, if for no other reason than having half of the IWC have simultaneous brain aneurisms. I figure that's the only way I'd be able to work my way into the Monday heavy hit day time slot. TNA has a plethora of choices right now and are in good shape. Christian obviously needs to be the heel centerpiece along with adding Joe and Angle back into the mix. Right now 2007 is shaping up to be a promising year. The funny thing is that even though none of the guys in TNA in the main event scene would be "championship material" (sans Angle) in any WWE brand except ECW, TNA somehow makes it work. Unless you're a big WWE mark/ TNA hater…then it's just silly to have a fat Samoan dude as a title…contender…wait a sec.

Coming Up Short

I only have four words for you after I witnessed poor Ace Steel whore himself as Donald Trump versus that fat chick who looked nothing like Rosie O'Donnell. Vince… McMahon …Hates …You!!

6 Degrees of…



Ian Bryant snuck in his choice this week just under the wire:

Right, I'll go for a bigger name this week, wasn't sure about how well known or obscure the last choice was so I'll make a better choice this time. How about Chuck Liddell, winner of the main event at UFC 66? And hopefully they'll be some competition this week.

All I have to say is, one good Chuck deserves another…



What can you say about these two? Granted I think Liddell has pounded and finished off more men than Palumbo…but I'm sure the end result was the same. A cigarette and a long nap. Well get to it as Chuck to Chuck is well on it's way. Oh and just so you don't get any funny ideas, I'm making it harder this week by Disqualifying the following people from any of your degrees: Tito Ortiz, Tank Abbott, and Daniel Puder. Not so easy NOW is it?? Suckers.

Whatchu talkin' bout readers?

Hey, I think Umaga just e-mailed me this week:

Hey!

This will be real quick. I disagree with you. Here's why:

1) Raw's ratings this week was the highest it's been since the summer. The whole K-Fed Angle worked.

2) I've seen a worse screwjob than Kevin Federline Beating Cena, and i'm not talking about David Arquette. Stephanie McMahon holds a victory over The Rock. She beat him live on Raw one night. Did it hurt The Rock at all? Nah. I doubt anyone even remembers it.

Thanks for your time!

-Jamal

Well I respect that you disagree with me "Jamal" *wink wink* but the fact is that RAW's ratings were like .3 or .4 higher than normal? I mean, is that right? I don't check facts, I just usually throw out unresearched shit and hope someone will write in to call me a big fat idiot and correct me. Either way, the ratings were MARGINALLY better. Besides, it didn't pop a buy rate or increase revenue at all did it? Does RAW get commercial revenue? The fact is that John Cena was Superman and he lost to K-Fed in what is now a recognized loss on his record. Pitiful. I actually don't even recall Stephanie McMammaries beating The Rock, but geeez, I loved The Rock and all, but he lost to the damn Hamburgular, I mean Hurricane at one point. Still, Steph was a part of RAW and the WWE, where as K-Fed is a douche' bag cameo. At this point the only other way to whore themselves out more for the general media is to have Jared pin Cena after a hardened Italian BMT to the corroded artery.

Will anyone remember K-Fed beating Cena? I will...and K-Fed.

Bayani,

I read your article and I say you have some very logical points. Indeed K-Fed holding a win via pinfall over Cena hurt the champ, and any good promo man can easily rip it out of him now (man I wish I was a wrestler). Now lets be real here, in wrestling nobody remembers anything. I mean really think about it, if WWE was realistic then the older you get the worse you become after a certain age of course. So then if Orton picks up a title in 2007 which is a possibility or win the Rumble will people be up in arms coz he couldnt beat a 60 year old with a replaced hip and two dodgy knees one of which he messed up just days before the big match??? No they will be up in arms because they dont like his rule breaking or mic work or something but not because he is not a genuine competitor.

Now Cena will beat Umaga somewhere down the line and legit too and continue destroying all that stands in his way and people will quickly forget about the K-Fed thing, coz as I said if people start to make fun of him on air about it and Vince sees his boy's cred being affected he will ban all K-Fed related jokes and maybe even bring in the jobless wannabe rapper to get his behind handed to him by the Dr. of Thugamonics.Lord knows he will need the money and attention. So yes short term and in terms of one on one mic battles it will hurt him but not longer term as Vince will never let that happen.

As for yours and every persons on the nets comments about Batista, I simply cannot keep my opinion to myself anymore. Look before his injury he was white hot and everyone loved him but lets face it, he had Orton, Henry and JBL all to feud with. We have the youngest ever WWE champ who was schooled by the same people as Batista, Worlds strongest man and a man who held the title longer than anyone had in some time. This is easily a year of feuds people can care about, get behind and believe in. Now he has a King who used to have a gimmick where he was a couple of IQ points higher than Eugene in Booker T and Finlay who hasnt feuded with anyone of note really. He also has feuded with Kennedy which was rushed and this did nothing for either men. Now if you are Batista how can you truly be as hot as you once were with this competition??? I like Booker's gimmick and Finaly and Kennedy too but it can be argued that none of these men can compare to the three other men already mentioned. If you simply look at each of the three and compare their credentials at the time and their bodies the former's are stronger on both than the latters.

Now on to his in ring work and mic skills. Both of which are in need of improvement but hey lest face it the WWE are not as into the quality of matches as TNA are and you dont need to be amazing in ring to be over, pushed or loved. Also neither were great before his injury, he was over due to his Triple H feud and his look which the wellness has not affected for some reason. Right now he is suffering from a lack of quality feuds .

I just wanted to get this off my chest I would love to know what you think.

Regards
Tarek

You know, most people will forget about K-Fed, but at some point, someone just HAS to bring that up. I can't believe that no true heel would let Cena slide on that one, but clearly, like Katie Vick, Vince just slipped it in there and decided to never let anyone speak another word about it on air. Still, as a "wrestling fan" and not a WWE "Television Show Fan" it makes you want to throw up seeing that happen to the real true "Champion" on the most important show in the most important company in wrestling. On Batista, Hey, I love the guy. He's half pinoy like me, how can I not? But clearly he's lost a step or two in the ring, looks slower and less powerful, on top of that he's getting no real promo time and not enough segments to show case his "Beast with a Brain" attitude. I think his lack of "HHH level" feuds has hurt, but Finlay and Booker both did their jobs in the feuds they were in, I just think at this point a heel turn might be a good idea. A feud with a Benoit or 'Taker, or even a short one with Matt Hardy, just cuz' I love seeing that guy get killed, might not be bad to put him over as an arrogant monster. Then turn him face again and voila' his second wind comes back. It's always easy to gain momentum when you're the underdog, and harder to keep it when you're on top. Just like Lita always said. Wait...maybe it was "Under Doggy Style" ...I always get that confused.

Chris is here to educate us on The Lawrence Arms. Which, by the way, would be very close to a standard Indy finishing move. Namely, the Lawrence Armbar.

Hey,

Just another faithful reader commenting on one of your wonderful writings on 411wrestling. Of course, I'm not actually writing about a wrestling related topic ( I don't have days to spew off on random opinions on the state of pro wrestling at the moment :P ) I just wanted to let you know how ashamed I am of you not being familar with the talented ( and often drunk ) Brendan Kelly . As stated, he is one of the singers of the band The Lawrence Arms ( best band no ones heard of ) who are an amazing punk band out of Chicago. ( Real punk, not Fallout Boy ) He was also the singer of the bands Slapstick ( Ska/Punk ) and the Broadways, and of the current side project of members of the bands Alkaline Trio/Rise Against called The Falcon. Check some of his music out at their myspace sites if you don't feel like DLing it:

www.myspace.com/thelawrencearms
www.myspace.com/thefalconisbiggerthanjesus

And while The Falcon may not ACTUALLY be any larger than jesus was, he was a hefty man, its a good solid bet they play better music. In all honesty, the music is an acquired taste, but its great stuff, and I was overjoyed to see his name brought up in your column.

Um, Yeah, I'm not so sure I believe that the Falcon is even close to as big as Jesus. I've seen that dude in person and shock his hand, homeboy is HUGE. Yeah, the first African American Super Hero may have the ability to talk to a bird, but Jesus talks to nappy Puerto Ricans with fruit fetishes. Advantage…Jesus. Although, I hear that guy no shows PPV matches.

6 Degrees Results

#3.

Ian Bryant Actually had a more impressive entry than anyone else in my opion…too bad he also was the one who got to pick the degree…sorry, but handicap and all in the ranking is a beeyotch:

1. Brendan Kelly used to be in Slapstick with Dan Andriano.
2. Dan Andriano is in Alkaline Trio, whose song Clavicle has been used as Matt Sydal's entrance music.
3. Matt Sydal is currently one half of the Ring of Honor Tag-Team champions with Christopher Daniels.
4. Christopher Daniels used Disposable Teens by Marilyn Manson as his entrance music in the indies.
5. Beautiful People by Marilyn Manson has previously been the opening music for WWE SmackDown! Chris Benoit is the current SmackDown" US champion.
6. Chris Benoit's appprentice on SmackDown!, Brent Albright beat 'Sweet 'n' Sour' Larry Sweeney at IWC's show on December 9th, 2006.

I just want someone once to use "Butterfly" from Dance Dance Revolution as their entrance song.

#2.

Mark Satrang returns with a worthy effort:

I'm back after a couple week holiday hiatus and what an interesting pair of choices to come back to...
1) Lawrence Arms once appeared on a Daily Show piece with Ed Helms...
2) Helms co-stars with Steve Carell in the Office...
3) Carell was in Bruce Almighty with Jim Carey...
4) Carrey played Andy Kaufman in "Man on the Moon" opposite Jerry Lawler...
5) Lawler was one of the many legends jobbed out to Randy Orton, his time coming on the August 7, 2005 RAW...
6) During the same summer, Larry Sweeney made his big time debut on RAW when he impersonated Nick Hogan in a sketch with Orton...

To be honest, it was a tough choice between 1st and 2nd place this week, but I thought Mark got kinda lazy by not going with the actual date Sweeney was on RAW. OWW my friend, OWW. Tell ‘em JT sent you and you get a free side of buffalo wings.

#1.

-MADMEX- should be happy he won. But I'm sure he's not…cuz'…then he'd be HappyMex, and…that name sucks ass:

WITH A LITTLE RESEARCH AND KNOW HOW I THINK I'VE SOLVED THE CONUNDRUM OF THE 6DO CHALLENGE… HERE WE GO SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT FANS:

THE LAWRENCE ARMS TO SWEET N SOUR LARRY SWEENEY IN 6…

6. THE LAWRENCE ARMS WERE GUESTS ON THE DAILY SHOW WITH JON STEWART……
5. JON STEWART WAS IN "BIG DADDY" WITH ADAM SANDLER…..
4. ADAM SANDLER WAS IN "WATERBOY" WITH THE BIG SHOW….
3. THE BIG SHOW A.K.A. THE GIANT BATTLED HULK HOGAN IN W.C.W…
2. HULK HOGAN WAS IN THE A.W.A. WHICH FEATURED COLONEL DE BEERS..
1. COLONEL DE BEERS TRAINED SWEET N SOUR LARRY SWEENEY.

THE END, THANKS FOR COMING, REMEMBER TO TIP YOUR WAITERS AND WAITRESSES….

I once tipped my waitress. Boy, was she pissed off when she got back up off the ground. Madmex was a bit cocky this week as he already sent in his choice if he won. I guess he figured if he typed in ALL CAPS I'd be intimidated into letting him win. I guess it worked.


Left Overs…

Nattie Neidhart was just signed to a developmental deal by the "e" recently. Along side Harry Smith and the "Stampede Kid", this makes for some interesting possibilities. Yeah, Teddy Hart is still unsigned, unless you count WSX. Which nobody does. Man oh Man, The New NEW Hart Foundation is almost close enough to taste. Which of course will lead to Vince signing HBK's cousin, Matt Bentley, to a contract just to screw over Teddy. I'm just saying…you can post it on the internet if you want.

Umaga lost?? How the…what the… who the… Well, well, so John Cena managed to escape the dangerous hands of Big Show and his chokeslam, the

Triple H has "reportedly" torn his quad muscle during NYR. Well, it was only a matter of time wasn't it? I mean, they're called the "Voodoo" Kin Mafia for a reason. In other news, Papa Shango swears he had nothing to do with it.

So Claudio doesn't have Visa problems? Then what the heck was the reason he was "fired" from the WWE after like 2 weeks of signing?? Claudio however is taking the high road and not pointing fingers thus far. But it's only a matter of time till he comes out with the real story, I mean, it's not like the Swiss to remain Neutral on stuff like this.

World's Greatest Job Team. I love how the writers got tired of finding new ways for Haas and Benjamin to job individually so they figured it would be easier to just reunite them and job them at the same time. Now THAT is efficiency, almost German-like in a way. Which also answers the question of why Benoit prefers the German suplex over any other suplex…efficiency. That…and he used to wrestle DDP and Goldberg a lot and…well… you know, the right tool for the right job. Shalom.

It seems like this Hacksaw/Super Crazy tag team was really embraced by the fans. Super Crazy thought the fans were chanting for him the whole time they were in the match until he realized that they weren't saying "You Ese" at all.

Bring back Crazy Mickie to face Crazy Victoria I say. A "Crazy Bitch vs Crazy Bitch" feud the likes of which hasn't been seen since…wait, when did the Heat Recappers resolve that thing again?

"See No Evil" is kicking butt in DVD sales and rentals. Leaving me to believe that perhaps WWE should consider releasing the newest "Stone Cold" movie in production as a straight to DVD release. Along with all of ECW's PPV's and the Great American Bash.

Now that the WWE has dodged a bullet with the McMahon cartoon/Assy McGee lawsuit I'm thinking that maybe they could work a deal on other projects or possible spin offs. So look for Stephanie McMahon to provide the voice work for "Tits McGee" in the near future.

Diva matches are just softcore porn now aren't they? No, no need to answer that, I just want to go ahead and put it out there in the open. It's just weird…it's like, violence, soft porn, violence. It would be like getting in a knife fight with a guy, calling time out to get a lap dance, then getting into a brawl with a group of drunk business men at the bar. So like a typical bachelor party I guess.

So I didn't get to see Impact last week, but I heard that the chick Angle had in an anklelock was Joe's real main squeeze. No clue what she looks like, but some report her as being pretty hot. Well, sorry, but that's a BONEHEAD move Joe. Now you're just ASKING for Senshi to hook up with your chick on the road and kayfabe his way to the Heavyweight Title. Way to go Joe.

So just wondering, but why didn't Csonka do the fair thing in the "411 Writer's Award" and have someone make all the writers in CAW mode for SDvsRAW and let the simulator take over? I think JT had dibs on Rob Conway's old mesh tights.

RoH has no 2007 plans to move out of their current territory. This saddens me as I heard they might consider a show or two on the West Coast, possibly Las Vegas or LA. I think they could easily draw 400 or 500 people in LA based on what PWG does during big shows like BoLA and All Star Weekend. DVD sales would still be steady or even perhaps spike a bit as people who usually go to the show would almost certainly buy a DVD to see what they missed. Great, there goes my chance of watching an RoH event live in my nifty new Green Lantern shirt.

Looks like Lita is going to work some UWF shows as it appears her and Herpes are close and go way waaaaay back. Wait…OH, Hermie…my bad, I just skimmed it and you know…assumed they misspelled it.

Vicki Guerrero recently had to sell the house her and Eddie bought back in 2005. she recently moved back to El Paso. Rumor has it (that I'm starting) is that the buyer was an anonymous grey haired gentleman from Stamford, CT who asked if the neighborhood was zoned for any "Torch Eddie's Dream House" Matches or whether it would require a permit.

Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week



She looks bored, guess she's been waiting for you to just skip the rest of the column to spank it to her pic

So here's a thought, maybe Vladmir Kozlov doesn't love the WWE, he's actually saying exactly what he means, "Double Double E", which is the shit, he got from Juvi down in Tijuana. Does the WWE need another "e" fiend on it's programming. The answer to that question is ‘yes', isn't it?

Pimpin' In High Places

Yo, I'mma be outta here by Friday noon and I won't be even THINKING about touching a keyboard till I get back Monday. So someone read this stuff and let me know what I missed.:

Meehan thinks HHH's injury can be spun in a positive way. VKM forced to shut the hell up. I think that ones deserves a slow clap to a standing roar of ovation. *clap….clap….clap…*

Evo Scheme spotlights the Royal Rumble. Wait…is that coming up soon? You realize… more than likely… Khali challenges Cena for the title just to keep him away from the Rumble. Otherwise, how the hell does anyone take him out? Oh that's right, make it a speech and debate battle royal.

Jules is dead to me. Insult Mantaur will ya?? Real original Jules. Well, mess with the Mantaur…you're gonna get the horns.


CoH is preparing for the era of the "Ring of Homicide" to begin. I should try to trade Ari an RoH DVD for one that I can pick up this weekend. I wonder if he already has "Girls Gone Mashuganuh" or "Hebrew Honeys 5" . No wait, I've said too much already.

3 x Threat talks about their favorite Cage matches. Didn't realize they were such Christian fans.

Hi/Lo talks about the PCS. Now THIS ranking makes sense, I wish they let Boise State and Michigan challenge Ohio State to a Hula Hoop contest.

Berman goes Delirious for a second week in a row. Hey, the joke ain't as funny if I said "he went Sydal".

Linkous has the year end awards. My guess is RoH doesn't get too many votes here.

D.Willy Cox talks about Eddie getting screwed…luckily only his legacy is takin' it up the ol' Chocolate Highway these days.

O'Dog is back. He says down with PPV's. The number…not actually all of the PPVs. Or hell, keep the same number and make them free. Then they're just "V's".

LaFavre is back as well, the little WWE Smark has his awards for the "e"…and no one else. Making me wonder why we don't have a TNA only focused column here. Maybe I need to write one…maybe a PWG one…maybe a CZ…nawwww.


PWG is this weekend. It features some fairly interesting match ups. Two in particular that look good are B-Boy vs Rocky Romero, and El Generico/Quicksilver vs Pheonix Star/Zokre. Then they go and add an awesome 6 man match features some of my local favorites including: NEMESIS, Bino Gambino, Karl "Machine Gun" Anderson, and Colt Cabana. Man, that looks like a decent little show…too bad I'm not going. I know, I know, I've been to almost every show except for one since May 2005. But something came up. I won't tell you what per say, but I can give you
A few subtle Hints about my Weekend Plans coming Up. I tell ya what, if you still don't know I only got 3 letters for you: A-V-N. Hells yeah. TBT and entourage are hittin' up the City of Sin and basking in the IWC's TRUE past time. Yep, I know my ‘main squeeze' has been anticipating this for weeks now and nothing truly brings a couple closer than titties, titties, titties. I think I read that somewhere… new testament I think. Oh well, if anyone else just happens to be in Vegas this weekend and see me don't forget to say "hi" toss a chip or two my way, and by all means, lap dances are always an acceptable way to say, "hey, I'm a fan". Btw, any tips on which "club" *wink wink* is the best in LV would be much appreciate. Don't worry, as always, the recap will be in next week's column, and just remember, the best is yet to cum.

Till then, the Truth will set you free.

-B