Truth B Told 2.15.07: Dirty Little Secret
Posted by Bayani Domingo on 02.15.2007
Now that it’s okay to be a “gamer”, play “Fantasy Football”, and enjoy barely legal Thai transvestite ‘snuff films’, when will society accept the “wrestling geek” into the fold?
I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)
My dirty little secret
Who has to know
I am NOW an official "internet blogger" now that I've quoted the lyrics to an emo song to start my "post". Oh yes, it's been a long strange trip. Over the past week I've really been contemplating my wrestling "fandom" and trying to decide just how ridiculous it is. Having a 31 year old who looks like a 13 year old who wears diapers on his ass and pancakes on his face for a living question your taste in "entertainment" tends to do that to you. But you know, I've basically come to the conclusion that being a wrestling fan or "Wrestling Geek" still comes with a stigma that usually is reserved for "Trekkies" and "Dungeons and Dragons" nerds. Hell, even Warcraft and other "gamers" have gotten better publicity lately. So what the hell does one have to do to get some respect while remain a true wrestling geek? The answer: stop expecting to get any.
Its funny how being a "wrestling geek" is usually such a dirty little secret for most of us. Basically unless we are around other WGs we feel like there is a bull's-eye on our chest that has "Loser" written on it. inevitably we get the jeers, and ridicule, and questions like, "You still watch wrestling? You know it's fake right?", "I remember watching it as a kid, haven't you outgrown that?", "What the hell is an Indy show? Like little guys who run around in masks in their back yard?", "Oh, you're a wrestling fan? Does that mean you know 58 different positions to bring a woman to the brink of both pleasure AND pain simultaneously?" Sure, that last question is valid, and true, but the others just show a total ignorance for wrestling in general. Some people just don't get it, some people have never really seen it, and some just don't like it. Hey, that's fine, totally understandable in fact. But why is it while other things are widely accepted, wrestling still isn't?
I think the crux of the problem is the difference between "Sports Entertainment", which leave you with "Sports" and "Entertainment". It really is a double edged sword. If you try to explain to people that you view wrestling as a "sport" then they laugh at you because no real "sport" already has a decided outcome before the game/match even begins. Outside of college basketball that is. Although Vegas SWEARS it isn't. Liars. To a point that is very true. Professional Wrestling isn't really a sport in that all of the matches outcomes are scripted prior and no way will Vegas set a line on that. The other argument is that wrestling is merely "Entertainment" it is a television show when it is on TV just like "Lost", "Desperate Housewives", or "Jackass" and a "Show" or "Performance" when it is live like a play, concert, or comedy show. This is more or less the argument in order to mitigate one's fandom.
If someone asks why you watch RAW on Monday, some people say it's goofy but entertaining "TV Show" as if to recognize how "fake" it is and how sensational it is. Just like watching reality TV or a Soap Opera. Still, that more or less degrades the athletes that put their bodies on the line every day to entertain the fans. If you argue that the live shows, WWE or Indy, are merely performances like watching a comedian or seeing a one-act play, then you negate the athleticism and realism that each of the workers put into their matches. While you could compare the Boogeyman or Delirious or Abyss to characters on the sci-fi channel or lavish plays like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde, there are guys who are far more themselves than characters like Danielson, HBK, and Chris Benoit. Are you going to tell me you are going to go up to American Dragon and tell him he's a cartoonish ‘fictional' character here for your amusement?
It's a fine line. There is really no way to explain why you are a "wrestling geek" without just owning up to the fact that you are, in fact, a "geek". Its okay to own it, embrace it in fact. I think far too many times wrestling fans are afraid of how they look to fully enjoy the experience. Until you really embrace your "geekiness" you may (or may not) find yourself missing out on the fan of being a full-fledged WG. One reader wrote in last week talking about the difference between watching a PPV with non-fans as opposed to true WGs. It's true that sometimes its nice to just unwind and geek out with fellow fans and immerse yourself in hours of wrestling talk, no caring who knows how hard you ‘marked out' for Sycho Sid and Koko B. Ware back in the day. I'll admit that I show up early to SoCal Indy shows just to hangout with friends I hardly see outside of events just to geek out about what Vince and Vince are shoveling on TV and talk about the upcoming card. Some people argue that they show up to shows early to ‘get good seats', but there is nothing wrong with admitting you go just to feel "safe" and "accepted" into a group of people who have the same "dirty secret" you do.
Sometimes you meet some really cool people in line waiting to see a 150 lbs guy in a mask snap off 29 hurricanranas in a single match. More times than not you meet some stanky ass people in line, but still, a few cool ones do come out as well. Hell, there are people I consider friends now that I don't see maybe more than 3 times a month, but I met them all at PWG shows. Either coincidentally striking up a conversation while waiting in line together or sitting in the same section show after show, there is a good chance you'll find at least a few people that you can have a good time hanging out with. It's a kinship that is hard to describe, it's the equivalent of living in Boston and finding a fellow New York Yankees fan. But the same way people bond over having the same disease, traumatic experience, or near obsessive devotion to watching "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", so too goes the bond between wrestling geeks.
There is one example of "paradise lost" when it comes to being a wrestling fan, especially a web enabled wrestling fan. Message boards. For the most part fan boards and message boards on local Indy fed's websites should be a safe haven for WG's where they can be connected to fellow geeks all over the world, no matter how isolated they are from the neatest geek. But all too many times you get message board bullies. Guys who think they are smarter than any "smart" and the unofficial enforcer of all that is "cool" on the board. So a place where one's geekiness should not only be accepted but celebrated, becomes a pitfall of cyber bullies and e-tough guys. My God, how can anyone put anyone else down for not being "hip enough" or "smart" enough on a wrestling message board? It's like the pot calling the Ron Killings black. Save for the occasional cameo from time to time on the message board right here…on 411mania.com *Thumbs Up*, I try to steer clear. It has gone so far that I hardly bother reading the message board on my own beloved PWG's website because some of those guys make me ashamed to be a "wrestling fan". But I guess they don't have to deal with that in other Fed's like RoH or CZW right? It's to the point where being a "smark" is as bad as being a "mark" and no one is safe anymore. Unless you're a "mod", in which case…you have God-like powers the which that should never fall into the wrong hands. I.e. anyone's hands that still own a "Team Xtreme" t-shirt.
Another example is wrestling show etiquette. I think there is an internal struggle amongst wrestling fan circles when it comes to being a "wrestling geek" and some people take it upon themselves to decide what is "cool" and what is not when it comes to being one. Hell, I've heard people say that they hate it when people chant at shows. Not necessarily the wrestler's name of "Let's go (fill in blank)…clap clap clapclapclap", but the "this is awesome", "match of the year", "over rated", and "mashed potatoes" chants. Well maybe not the last one…okay, that one time about 8 months back, but it just never really caught on. The point is that fans tend to try to police themselves and others when it comes to knowing what is "smarky" and "breaking kayfabe". Here is a little tip for you guys out there: #1. If you regularly attend Indy shows and have access to wrestling websites then you are a smark. 80% of the crowds at most Indy shows are smarks. So suck it up. And #2. Kayfabe is dead. Sorry, it died along time ago and nothing is going to bring it back, so if you are worried about breaking the 2-way mirror that IS a wrestling show, don't worry about it, just enjoy the show on whatever level you want and don't worry about how other people are enjoying it. While I do agree that there are attention whores in the crowd who are more interested in drawing attention to themselves and "getting themselves over", for the most part people should be able to enjoy the shows however they choose and chant whatever they want so long as it's not to excess and they don't destroy your enjoyment of the show. 3 or 4 chants you don't like that last all of 7 seconds isn't that bad. A big fat loud chick running around looking like a pink Anthony Anderson and chasing the wrestlers and yelling at the top of her lungs to get attention….yeah, that is. But you know, that is what parking lots, black hoods, and cattle prods after the show are for. So hey, worry less about other people's expression of fandom and focus more on the stuff that make YOU enjoy a match. Oh, and have the cattle prod ready in the trunk.
Even at Indy shows, the bastion and pinnacle of wrestling geektitude, people worry about being overly "markish" and being mocked for being a full on "mark". I have a friend or two, who actually say they "don't want to bother" the wrestlers and appear too "markish". Which is a shame, because most Indy wrestlers I've been able to meet have all been pretty cool guys. But of course you get your good with your bad. Some guys are quick to take off after their matches, while others stay till the end and sign autographs and takes pictures with anyone who asks them. I've caught Samoa Joe at times when he was perfectly humble and pleasant and times where he looked tired and worn out, but he still managed to sign and pose for folks. AJ, Sabin, and Alex Shelley duck out early most of the time, but Christopher Daniels, Colt Cabana, Chris Hero, Homicide, and a good number of other guys stick around. It all depends really. But none of them have ever real big prima donnas if they have time before they have to leave for their flights. So why not be a "mark" and take a pic, get a ‘graph, make a sign or mini-paper mache' lucha doll, and enjoy the chance to meet guys you admire and respect. Because if you're worried about not looking cool, then maybe an Indy show isn't your cup of tea.
I'll give you an example of overcoming your "Markaphobia". This is probably one of the most random things to ever happen to me at a show, but on Saturday night I ended up at a Denny's where a lot of the guys who wrestled at Pro Wrestling Guerrilla ended up. It was 2 am in the morning. Roderick Strong was busted open (hard way) during the main event. No one had even taken him to the hospital yet. He had to get stitches and he had a 6 am flight out to Florida. Long story short, my girlfriend and I ended up feeling sorry for the guy and volunteered to take him to the airport, with a slight detour to the ER. Then somehow we got wrangled into giving Claudio Castagnoli a ride to the airport too. It was an odd night to say the least, an hour in the ER waiting room, a trip to Yoshinoya for some 2nd rate teriyaki, and a drop off at the airport.
My head finally hit the pillow at 4:30 in the morning. To be honest, I felt kind of weird even offering to give Strong a ride because I didn't want to volunteer not knowing Roddy and only knowing a few of the workers superficially from the shows, but it turned out to be a very cool experience. I felt weird being so "markish" and offering a ride, but my girl already mentioned it. She is such a little fem-mark herself and she is really unafraid of looking "markish" in the first place. Let me just tell you, a cute girl can be "markish" to the 10th degree and no one will say shit, but a typical male WG always feels subconscious. Luckily I got over that and found out that those guys were cool, pretty funny, and as much of a "geek" as anyone who bought a ticket to watch them fly around a ring. Had my ‘Markaphobia' kicked in at Denny's I would never have found out what's really in the Halliburton or how much it would suck to be a "Young Boy" in Dragon Gate. *Trust me, this kind of thing rarely happens to me, despite the massive peaks of celebrity I have achieved due to being a 411 wrestling zone writer…btw, we have openings *Thumbs Up* *
I think another big reason why being a WG is so taboo is that being a wrestling fan is not generally a trait that a lot of women are looking for in a man. Good job, nice car, sense of humor, nice arms, knowing the difference between the "Impaler DDT" and the "Paisan Plant". Yeah, one of those things is not going to get you laid any time in the near future. By a chick that is. Face it, there are few single women who are wrestling fans. For the most part, any guy you see with a chick at a show became a fan because of the guy she's with. It is very rare indeed when a women decides to become a fan on her own without being pressured into it. Not to say that a few choice and open minded women don't eventually enjoy wrestling on their own, but it is a rarity. Hell, even a lot of the writers here have girlfriends/wives who put up with their fandom, heck, some even attend shows with them, but I doubt Csonka, Meehan, Clark, etc. actually MET them at a show. Then again, those "rarities" I was talking about, also include various ‘ring rats' so sometimes you do find female fans. Problem is, sometimes those fans want nothing to do with you unless you have a pair of knee high boots, spandex tights, and your own entrance music. Which is how I got my chick…and no…I'm not a wrestler….don't ask….just move along.
Being a wrestling fan isn't something you can really mention on a first date. No one would be STUPID enough to get a haircut, put on a nice thick layer of Axe body spray, and then show up at Olive Garden with an RoH sweatshirt on. Hell no… I'm talkin' Micky D's here…you can't afford to be spending no kind of "Olive Garden Cash" on a chick, you're only making ‘Blockbuster Video kind of money'…shoot…if you were making ‘Game Stop money', then we'd be talking. Yeah, stereotypes, whatcha gonna do brother? But seriously, it's one of those thing that you have to, as a buddy once said, "break it to her… eventually, once she's hooked". I always thought that was a funny notion, "Yep, yep, she's all over me, can't get enough, my suave studliness has overtaken her and now I can finally reveal to her my collection of ‘Wrestling Buddies', custom made Delirious and Necro Butcher action figures, and WCCW tape collection". Sometimes, well most times, if you're lucky enough to find a woman to love you, it's in spite of you being a wrestling fan, not because of it. but then again, who wants to date a chick who keeps saying, "wait a second, he didn't even hit that guy, that looks sooooo fake". That's when you have to employ the Human Tornado "bitch slap of doom". Unless she has huge tits…then you let it slide.
The Truth
The basic gist of this rambling was for me to try to convey what I've been feeling about wrestling for the past few months. That while I still love wrestling, there are times I'm ashamed to admit that to other people because at times it is hard to defend. Between Trump vs O'Donnell on RAW, Russo-riffic booking, and....everything about ECW, it's tough. But you know what? I ain't gotta defend jack shit. Because it's entertainment, it's a release from the pent up aggression you feel in every day life, it's drama, it's athletics, it's real people with real dreams and ambitions, and it's just real fun to be part of. So I beg of you, own your geekiness. Love it, live it, let it spread. We're all just fans at heart, and no matter who tries to police your chanting, your cheering, your posting, your blogging, your passion for the sport...yes, I said SPORT... just stand up, look them in the eye and say, "yeah, I'm a wrestling geek, you don't like it....eat a dick".
Coming Up Short
I hate the Team 3D/LAX feud right now, problem is, there is nothing else you can do with the tag belts. TNA once had the best tag team scene in the biz, now they have an old Team 3D, a tired VKM, a jobbed out Seratonin, and LAX. That is it. Oh, my bad, Sharky and Smiley. Yeeesh. At this point it made no sense to get rid of Team Canada, the Paparazzi, AMW, and The Naturals. You can't rely on the same tired acts to make LAX look good. There was a day when the Middle Aged Outlaws and the Dudleyz could make a young team look good, but those days are gone. I say bring back the tag teams, or at the very least, how about a Heart Throb or two? Hey, if they're good enough for the Food Network, they're good enough for Russo. Yep, I'm sure with a gimmick in hand for Russo to play with like that, there is no way it would come up short. *sigh*
6 Degrees of…
Greg "The Hammer" Valentine
Yes, it WAS Valentine's Day yesterday. Meaning roughly half of the country got laid yesterday. Meaning half of the folks you see today should either be very tired, very happy, or very sore from all the cat o' nines and clothes pins. Either way, what's V-day without "The Hammer"?? Well of course you can't have a Valentine without someone to share it with. Speaking of sharing, I know a man who knows a little bit about sharing and loving...
The man is 157 years old, held up by wires and caulking and he STILL gets his rocks off on a nightly basis. You da MAN Hef!! Well there you go, shouldn't be too hard should it? No, I'm not talking to you Hef.
Whatchu talkin' bout readers?
Andrew Critchell gives a few props to ECW...man, why does that name sound so familiar?
Hi Bayani –
I have to say I could not disagree with you more about how "bad" ECW is. In fact, I think it has been rather good for the past month or so. I love the angle with the "New Breed" vs. the "ECW Originals" and I think it's going to be a great way to put over Striker, Thorn, Cor Von, and Burke; all guys who I think are very awesome.
Overall, I think that ECW is serving a great purpose in exposing a lot of young or new talent that might otherwise get lost in the shuffle on Raw or Smackdown. I enjoy it quite a bit and I would bet that once these growing pains get straightened out it will quickly become a fan favorite.
H ave a good one!
Actually Andrew I think you COULD disagree with me more. Because I didn't read anything that mentioned the Nitro Girls 2k7 being the best thing with a WWE label slapped on it's coochie. Then again in my opinion, most of the Divas are fairly useless in the "e". But who knows, maybe you think the divas are great or something. To each their own. But you brought up a good point, I even mentioned that at least the New vs Old is a step in the right direction. Only problem is that this isn't a fair fight, and we all know the outcome. It's like any time you've ever a guy at a bar with a "Property of DX" shirt go up to a hot chick. Game over dude....game over. To be honest, without CM Punk in this storyline, I just can't get behind Thorne and Striker. Punk would be just as good as Striker on the mic and tons better than Thorne in the ring, but who knows, maybe it'll go down. My money is on Mr. Kennedy winning the belt and making ECW interesting again.
I guess this guy isn't the dude who wrote Andy Milonakis to narc on me:
Yo man, just wanted to throw some feedback to you about the Andy Milonakis thing. I think I have the basic idea about why this guy sucks. Well, first of all, his humor is lame. But I think a lot of people gave him a pass and really liked the show because they thought he was fucking thirteen. It was one of those, "Oh, he is such a funny child! It's funny because a little kid is swearing and talking like an adult!". Then everyone found out the motherfucker was 30, and suddenly his comedy became as lame and as stale as geriatric porn(I think I coined this phrase, but I'm not sure, but feel free to use it in conversations). That's why he's not relevant. He basically stole the Man Show boy's gimmick and profited from it. The thing is, the Man Show Boy really was a little kid.........Andy is just a hack. And give me the inside scoop on WM 23 at that bar in Buena Park, I'll fucking show up man!
Later, Jay Smith
As far as lame humor, the thing is, that it does appeal to an audience, the teenagers and kids who were too young to watch Tom Green because it was on past their bed times. Not that it was the same show as Green's was, but eerily similar. I too thought the show was "ok" when I thought he was a kid. I mean, for a legit 13 year old, the show is almost passable, but finding out it was a grown man made it a little creepy. But still somewhat interesting because of the novelty of it...but the novelty wore off after the 2nd time I tried to watch a whole show. Oh and as far as geriatric porn goes the term "geriatric" means to promote health and prevent later disability and health problems in life. The build up of too much "baby batter" is a big health risk in my opinion, hence ALL porn is really "geriatric". Except for "Goat Play" that shit is just sick. Oh yeah, the bar in Buena Park is called "National's Sports Grill" I hear they show all PPV's and close the place down in order to charge you to get in. I'm 50/50 on going to WM23 there unless someone I know decides to throw a party. Interesting being amongst so many marks/ smarks/ smarts/ Presbyterians. Oh, I don't know for sure if they are, but who else by the "Presby's" would be rooting for Orton to win the Royal Rumble? Hmmmmm? Am I right my Lutheran brothers? Huhhhh?
Haywood Jablome thinks Milonakis owes him an apology:
"I'm not one of those internet losers that likes to just spew bile at another person, your post was gay and wrong"
Andy may not be an internet loser, but after his statement noted above, he appears to be homophobic...after all, he said your post was "gay AND wrong," insinuating that these two things have sooooo much in common. So, if i'm a homosexual, he'd be assuming that i'm "wrong?" Maybe he and Paris can have a little racist/homosexual hatemongering meeting...what an asshole. If you can't give me his email address, maybe you could forward my message asking for an explanation and apology for the statement he made.
Anyway...I love your column and enjoy reading it every week.
p.s. I didn't know that tiny prick had a show anymore either.
Well Haywood,....which is a great name...actually its the same thing I said when I noticed Striker wrestling CM Punk once and his trunks seemed a bit tight...but I digress, I can't in all good conscience give out the man's e-mail address. But chances are since I didn't have time to respond to his last e-mail he just may be reading my column this week. So if he is, hopefully he'll have the intestinal fortitude to respond. In terms of implying being gay is wrong, I don't know what to say about that. I don't want to speculate on what his beliefs are about homosexuality. I mean, if the guy thinks it is wrong for man to lay down with another man, but it is okay for man to lay down with a stack of pancakes, a bottle of syrup, a dog, and old woman, and a camera...so be it. But I don't know for sure what his stance on homosexuality is. I mean, just because his show's ratings took it in the ass doesn't mean he would be against it.
And here we go, the last e-mail from the "Prince of Pancakes" himself, Randy Milonakis:
The difference between me and a wrestler is that I know my stuff is retarded and stupid.....I wallow in the show's stupidity............How many wrestlers will admit wrestling is retarded and stupid? Yes, I read your post, the day is yours young man, you are too smart for words. It was really insightful and mature....not to mention the yucks came pouring out of my handicapped mouth. Next time I do an interview where I get to speak freely I'll be sure to mention my fued between me and bayani domingo......I fight with myself to not mention the obvious....that millions of people have seen my show and if you're lucky maybe a couple of thousand people have read your boring posts, wait, I'm a new fan, a couple thousand and one, but when you keep beating a dead horse by talking about how my show is on mtv 3 and nobody watches it....it's really hard.........ummm I'm an internet blogger and a few people read my stuff but im going to talk shit about how someone who has his own tv show is falling into obscurity......really? Well go fuck yourself because you never fell IN to any sort of fame to fall out of......In between seasons I worked on 4 feature films, 3 of them already have major distribution, make fun of them all you want but I've been busy grinding, making money and furthering my career.....and sometimes it's worth 15 minutes of my time to say "fuck you" to a random internet loser that is pissing on that. Good luck, keep being saying negative things about people, it's a great character trait, you'll go far.
-Peanut Butter Boy
Okay, well let's address some of these concerns in order shall we? For one thing, a lot of wrestlers would agree that some of wrestling is retarded. Eugene for instance. That is also why companies like Chikara and HUSTLE exist. I also would be tickled pink to see my name mentioned in an interview you are doing...for...I dunno, the Penny Saver...maybe or whomever you are being interviewed by. I'll be honest with you Randy I haven't seen an interview with you in quite sometime. Or, at all actually. So feel free to use my name. This isn't a "dig" it's the reality of me watching TV for about 10 hours a week and never seeing a word about you. Sorry man. You are right though, millions of people HAVE seen your show. Problem is, if those millions kept on watching it every week, we wouldn't be having this e-conversation because you'd be too busy shooting your featured film and fuckin' one of the Hilton sisters...or the mom. The mom has a little something left in the tank I bet. To be honest, I have no clue what my "hit count" is so a thousand or a few thousand or even a few hundred might be right. But for a guy who still has a full time job, that ain't bad. Maybe I can get a live cast of this put on iTunes so people can download my show too. To be honest, my goal wasn't "Fame" it was write about something I enjoy and hope other people enjoy it too. And I hate to break it to you but you of all people are the last person who should have permission to use "Grinding" in any context. Not to be a dick or anything, but what was the 4th film that didn't get a major distributor? Was it a Canadian snuff film? Was it Randy? Huh?? That would pretty pimp, always wanted a cameo in one of those, even if I'm just the guy that delivers the pizza before they strangle the chick. Also, as far as a "loser" goes, that's a bit harsh. Got a good paying job, a cute girlfriend, my own car, apartment, Master's degree...I can ride any ride at Disneyland without height restriction...I ... have only one chin. I dunno, I got a few things going for me. To be honest, this "being negative thing" has gotten me my own column so yeah, it's been okay for me. You know, maybe I've been too harsh on you though Randy, so if you are particularly proud of any of your sketches, let me know which ones and I'll check them out on youtube or something and maybe I'll change my mind. But the fact remains...you may be "famous" in the sense that quite a few people know who you are...but your time in the limelight has passed for now. Especially under the RMS umbrella. So "stay on your grind" further your career, do more films, but man...the boat has left on TRMS coming back to capture America's hearts. Good luck in your future endeavors. That is honestly sincere because it is bad karma to wish bad things on others, I really believe that. By the way, you can catch me in the audience during WSX on Tuesdays at 10:30 pm and on the website for the replays. It's on MTV1...so yeah, at least one of us is on the "One". But hey, the 3 is just as good....maybe 3 times as good right?
XOXO,
Mr. MTV 1
6 Degrees Results
Honorable Mention
B--
Half hour of work left, let's see if we can crack this out quickly...
1) This crazy astronaut lady Lisa Nowak is an honorary board member on the National Organization of Italian American Women...
2) also acting as an honorary board member for the NOIAW is new Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi...
3) Pelosi shares the same voting constituents as Arnold Schwarzenegger, as both are from California...
4) The Arnold Classic, named after the famed govenor, was once won by Mark Henry...
5) Mark Henry was parodied along with the rest of the Nation back in '98 by DX. X-Pac was the one who portrayed Miz-ark Henry...
6) X-Pac was the one who stole Tori away from Kane back in '99... Mark Satrang
Not bad, although X-Pac never "stole" Tori away from Kane...he "won" her...then "brain washed her" in order to consent to letting him "shit" on her "chest" in kayfabe. Semantics. They'll get you every time.
I am a loyal reader of your column on 411wrestling. Always enjoy it. Despite that, I have never really attempted to solve one of your six degrees of...that is, until now. This week's 6DO intrigued me enough for me to try it. My first attempt was not good. Actually, it was too good, as I got from Lisa Nowak to Terri Poch in 3 degees. (Lisa Nowak arrested in Orlando, where TNA has its office...Kip and BG James currently work for TNA, but once worked for the WWE as the New Age Outlaws, part of D-X...X-Pac was a slo a member of D-X, and his "manager" at the time was Tori.)
Here's attempt #2:
1. Lisa Nowak is a member of the United States Navy, which also lays claim to having Jesse "The Body" Ventura as a member in the early 1970's.
2. Jesse "The Body" Ventura is from Minnesota, which is where Shelton Benjamin went to university.
3. Shelton Benjamin was formerly, and is currently, a member of the World's Greatest Tag Team with Charlie Haas.
4. Charlie Haas formed a tag team with Hardcore Holly on Smackdown! in 2004 after the WGTT broke up at that time.
5. Two of Hardcore Holly's "cousins" include Crash Holly and the former women's champion Molly Holly.
6. Molly Holly was the one who unmasked Raven's mysterious abettor The Ninja, who happened to be Tori / Terri Poch.
How's that for my first try?
Regards, Corey Cotton
Damn good try for a new comer. My gal judged this week she thought the Molly Holly connection was quite strong. Yeah, I forgot the chocolates and flowers so I had to throw her a "bone".... and then another one later that night, if you know what I mean. *wink wink nudge nudge* Huh? Huh? No? Damn it.
#3
Sorry to let you down B. I enjoy your writing and all, but calling me out in your column? Damn, you take your 6 degrees seriously!
To make it up to you I got creative this time.
Enjoy my 2-3-4-5- and 6 degrees between Terri Poch and Lisa Nowak.
1. Terri Poch played a stalker bitch (Sable).
2. Lisa Nowak IS a stalker bitch (Colleen Shipman).
1. Terri Poch gave Sable a yellow rose in her first ever WWF appearance.
2. Due to the famous song the yellow rose is most commonly associated with Texas.
3. Texas is the home of Lisa Nowak.
1. Terri Poch teamed Debra McMichael in their 1999 Survivor Series match (with Mae Young and the Fabulous Moolah).
2. Debra was married to Steve McMichael (Da Bears and WCW).
3. Steve McMichael was born in Houston, Texas.
4. Houston, Texas has the Johnson Space Center, where Nowak used to work.
1. Terri Poch managed X-Pac in the WWF.
2. X-Pac is a WSX member along with Puma.
3. Puma lost to Chris Sabin during the 2006 World X Cup in TNA.
4. Sabin recently wore an adult diaper to cause trouble for Jerry Lynn.
5. Lisa Nowak recently wore an adult diaper to cause trouble for Colleen Shipman.
and finally...
1. Terri Poch helped Sable beat Luna Vachon at the 1999 Royal Rumble.
2. Vachon was the manager of Scott "Bam Bam" Bigelow (RIP, *sniff*)
3. Bigelow had his ass handed to him in the 1995 film Major Payne starring Damon Wayans.
4. Wayans was in the movie Punch Line with Tom Hanks.
5. in Apollo 13 Hanks played an astronaut in a big deal of trouble.
6. Lisa Nowak IS an astronaut in a big deal of trouble.
Now, should I not enter 6 degrees for any given week PLEASE don't punk me out again.
Hugs and kisses,
Doug Csikos
um, there was a prize?
Awesome. So Doug had no idea what the 6DO prize was for winning. Well Doug, the winner each week gets to submit one person/place/thing/member of the lWo to include in the following week's 6DO. For instance you could have picked a wrestler or non-wrestler for the entry. But hey, how the hell were you supposed to know...sweet cheeks.
#2
Mathew Sforcina knows the love of a "crazy bitch" when he sees it:
Crazy Space Bitch put on adult diapers, as did the Mythbusters (Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman) when they tested the 'Brown Note' myth (Episode 25).
The Mythbusters (Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman) are assited by Build Team member Kari Byron.
Kari has been a FHM US model, as has Brooke Hogan.
Brooke Hogan is the daughter of one Hulk Hogan.
Hulk Hogan was on the cover of WCW/nWo Revenge, as was Raven.
And Raven was helped out by Mys-Tori.
Though not Victoria, another "Tori" sparked a darn good try by Sforcina. I believe "Crazy Space Bitch" was a song by ‘N Sync a few years back.
#1.
Christopher Tighe hits 6DO gold again this week.
Great column as it is every week, since it is no longer my turn, I'm entering myself back into the 6 Degrees…
One small correction for last week's winner, Mark Craig. D-Ray 3000's indy name, was Don Crisis. My name, is Chris Tighe. No alter ego there. Although I am an indy wrestler, the only thing in common I may have with D-Ray 3000 is we were both trained by "The Wild Samoans." Oh, and I guess we both shave our chests and wear spandex pants. But that my friend, does not make us gay…ON TO IT…
Lisa Nowak to "Tori"
Degree #1) Lisa Nowak who was arrested on charges of attempted kidnapping, battery, attempted vehicle burglary with battery, and destruction of evidence, graduated from C.W. Woodward High School in Rockville, Maryland. Rockville, Maryland is also the birth place of director/producer Spike Jonze.
Degree #2) Spike Jonze was the co-creator, and executive producer of the popular MTV television show, Andy Milonakis. Yeah Right…I said POPULAR…He was however the co-creator and executive producer of the ACTUAL POPULAR AND FUNNY MTV TELEVISION SHOW, Jackass. And, they didn't need PANCAKES to do it. Just other toys.
Degree#3) Jackass featured a lot of insane stunts performed by: Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn, Preston Lacy, Wee Man, Dave England, Ehren McGhehey, Chris Pontitus and Steve-O Degree #4) Steve-O and Chris Pontitus appeared on the Oct. 15th, 2006 edition of Monday Night Raw. In the episode they were attacked by UMAGA. Steve-O was laughing during the segment which made Umaga come back to the
ring and give Steve-O a few stiff shots. He then decided to quit laughing.
Degree #5) Umaga feuded with for about two months with Kane until Kane lost in a match on October 9th, 2006 when Umaga beat Kane in a loser leaves Raw match. Kane went over to Smackdown but they competed again on November 5th, 2006 at Cyber Sunday. Kane was voted over Chris Benoit and Sandman to face
Umaga, which had Kane lose again.
Degree #6) Kane was the on-screen boyfriend of Tori in 1999. X-Pac quit teaming with Kane to join up with the reformation of DX. This had a Kane vs X-Pac fued going. In a match on Dec. 20th, of 1999, Kane received a title shot against "The Big Show". If Kane lost, Tori must spend the weekend with X-Pac. Tori stated X-Pac was a perfect gentleman. On Jan. 27th, as the feud continued, X-pac's allies attacked Kane. Kane was then tied up and Tori admitted to being with X-Pac. That gives you the picture you provided of Tori w/ DX.
Very hard one to start off, esp. since I'm not a big news buff and had to find this astronaut lady you spoke of. I think I did pretty well but we will find out next Thursday I guess. Good luck to the other participants.
Wow, what a treat, Randy Milonakis it into an entry this week. Damn, that means if you google his name my column might come up like 4th this week.. Oh who am I kidding, I'm probably 2nd. Well the kid is an under dog, just like Ron Misterio Jr. Either way Christopher get ready for your entry next week...cuz' if I get stood up again, I might just include a political degree. Or not, porn is always good.
Left Overs…
Test taken off TV for violations of Wellness? Damn those "Flintstone Vitamins" that he got from Lashley. Ten Millions strong.... and growing....(back acne).
TNA now has to clear all wrestler interviews after Billy Kip Sopp James Gunn messed it up for everyone. Which sucks because I was *this* close to getting that interview with that oiled up naked guy.
Samoa Joe may not be the last TNA regular to be leaving RoH's regular roster. Christopher Daniels, AJ Styles, Homicide, Slick Johnson...NO ONE is safe.
Random note: I just recently understood the awesomeness of (SoCal Indy wrestler) Hook Bomberry and the radness that adding "baby" to the end of every sentence you utter in the ring can bring to a match. The best example being: "The bottom rope is LOOSE, Baby!!" I'm going to try to apply this theory at work next week. Meaning I'll probably have tons more "free time" to make next week's column that much semi-pornographic…baby!!
Let's take a look at the latest WWE PPV Buy Rates shall we, but I'm going to just focus on a few interesting ones:
ECW One Night Stand II - 304,000
Great American Bash - 232,000
Summerslam - 541,000
December to Dismember - 90,000
Not bad, not great, but okay. Summerslam did well. As one of the big 4 PPV's it traditionally does. ONS2 did pretty decent as well, a little better than the average WWE PPV actually. Even GAB, which is traditionally a sink hole did almost decent. Almost. But December to Dismember?? 90K. That is what WSX would pull to do a PPV at this point. Okay, maybe not…then again, who doesn't think that 90,000 people wouldn't tune in to see Teddy Hart no sell a 6-Pac beat down by moonsaulting off an exploding scaffold filled with piranha and Vampiro come out and eat his heart?
I love how the WWE were so quick to correct WSX's rating last week from a 0.9 to a 0.7. Not that they cared or even pay attention to WSX because they aren't really "competition"...but you know....their ratings weren't that high....I mean, if anyone was paying attention. Which they're not.
Sorry cats, no more Friday "Sneak Preview" for WSX anymore as they are trying to make the Tuesday ratings mean something. That something means, "Half the ratings of Road Rules/ Real World Challenge".
RoH is advertising not only Bruno Sammartino (no not wrestling) and 7 Dragon Gate wrestlers (yes, wrestling) for the big WM weekend double shot. The 7 guys are: CIMA, Naruki Doi, Ryo Saito, Dragon Kid, SHINGO, Masaki Mochizuki, and Susumu Yokosuka. I am fairly sure the Red Sox signed one of those guys to pitch for them next year. Was it Dragon Kid?
Random Asian Bitch Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
I hope she's not setting up for Jeff Hardy to jump off her into a leg lariat...I'd be more than happy to jump off her though....wait...on...I meant on....nevermind.
Matt Sydal has become the newest "Open the Brave Gate" champion in Dragon Gate. You see, "Open the Brave Gate" is the light heavyweight title, and you need a "key" to challenge for it, and you need to be nominated to get the key, and then you kill 5 orcs, find the secret shield with +5 invincibility and then when you find Zelda you....ahh fuck it. It means he did real good and has a shiny belt.
Random Andy Milonakis Lookin' Good Pic of the Week
Holy shit...when did Grimace have a kid? And why is he so angry? I always knew ‘Birdie' was loose
New Jack has opened a wrestling school in Richmond, Virginia. My guess is the first day of school is registration, 2nd day is running ropes and taking bumps, 3rd day is blading, and 4th day blading your opponent while keeping your fifth of "Henny" perfectly level.
Pimpin' In High Places
So not satisfied with a little taste of TBT, well gorge yourself at the veritable buffet that is 411:
Csonka has R's and this time it's the Against All Odds edition. Meaning if you go with the point spread you should come out okay.
Jules has a round table to discuss past WWE vs TNA match ups. Yep, maybe they'll finally agree that Shark Boy vs "The Shark" John Tenta wouldn't be as one sided as we all think it would be. Unless Lava Girl interfered that is.
O'Dog is literally oozing with Goodness....get a napkin.....get two.
Did you panic? Don't worry kids, Sforcina isn't gone after all, he and Marsico are back with Fink's Payload. This week it's all about the MitB. Which is short for "Masturbating in the Bathroom". What? Don't believe me? Well read for yourself. Or don't....you can just trust me...ain't that enough??
The Shimmy talks about large half Filipino men. Um....yeah, that's awkward...oh wait...that's not me. Well we say farewell to a Penguin and hell to a Marquis. Remember kids, keep active in the forum and eventually you TOO can be the Vincent to Andy's Million Dollar Man....everyone has a price for Andy Clark.
Weyer is here to give you a bigShiner this V-day. Well, yesterday was V-Day. But for those of you who got a hooker yesterday in lieu of a date, you probably woke up today unknowningly celebrating VD-Day.
CoH is counting down the last few matches of Samoa Joe's farewell tour. This time he faces a big Japanese guy who makes me question whether Pantene Pro-V is really available in Japan or did they dump it all to make more pink DS Lites?
Sarnecky tells Vince off. Which I'm sure is the kind of thing he usually gets Candice Michelle to do...then spank him and tell him he's a bad bad boy. Yep, men in power.
Jules goes back....waaaay back and takes a looksy at the top 10 No Mercy has had to offer.
Hi/Lo talks ‘Taker. Well in hindsight it was clear my $20 bet on The Miz wasn't going to pay off, but c'mon, the under/over was 23 seconds...at least try trip into a drop toe hold before ya fly out ya lazy bastard.
Featured Non-Wrestling Column of the Week
This week we have Nintendophiles by Theo Fraser. Being an old nintendo owner from back in the day and still an occasional N64 player even now, its good to know Nintendo is getting it's props on 411. Recently Theo helped me out with a little Nintendo-quandary of my own. Luckily everything worked out and my gal got a spanking new Wii for her b-day. If you need to know anything Nintendo related, Theo is your man. Keep up the good work Theo, as you are now responsible for making the 411 games section a daily read for me now. Okay...maybe weekly. I still gotta spend time searching for them hot asian bitches...I think you understand.
So some congratulations are in order this week. A happy 24th Birthday goes out to Michelle. 143 homie!! Also a happy early B-day to the Crown Jewel of the PWG Ring Crew Embassy, Evan turns 23. Or roughly the age at which point you usually say, "shit, so when the hell ARE my pubes supposed to start growing out??" Also a special shout out to Markus Riot (whose "Best Of..." DVD is available where all fine bootlegs are sold) who made his WSXtra debut this week...by being kicked in the balls by Jack Evans. Um...well I guess it beats jobbing out to CM Punk in 30 seconds right? Or not. Well, kiddies enjoy the weekend, go out and check out your local Indies, and wear your "Wrestling Geek" on your arm with pride...like a cool Care Bears patch. Or a nicotine one....either way, one day at a time, one day at a time.
