The Shimmy 2.26.07: The Undertaker, Deadman Version 2.0 Report Card (Part One)
Posted by Andy Clark on 02.26.2007
No, Kevin Nash did not name this column.
Hi ho, everyone, and welcome back to The Shimmy. This week we're changing up how we do Report Cards around here. You see, the idea is to do a Report Card on Undertaker. The thing is, Taker has spent the past 17 years putting on PPV performances, and unfortunately I have only been around to witness nine of those years. The question is, where do I start the Report Card then? Seeing as how the mystique of the Undertaker has really been recreated since his return to the Dark Side, we'll start this look back at the Phenom with his return to the Deadman persona at WrestleMania XX. Personally, I liked the American Bad Ass Taker better, so perhaps we'll get a biker Taker Report Card in the future.
Interpromotional Match: Undertaker vs. Kane (WrestleMania XX)
This match really wasn't about a match itself. In fact, from the moment Undertaker made his entrance, revealing his "new" look, the important stuff was over. You knew Taker was going over, this was just meant as a showcase for his return to the gimmick that made him famous. The match itself wasn't anything atrocious, but it wasn't anything particularly memorable either.
My Grade: C+
Undertaker vs. King Booker (Judgment Day 2004)
From the Booker T Report Card: I didn't see this show, but this was one of the matches that I would have liked to have seen. Booker had just embarked on a pretty fresh heel character and was being portrayed as a big deal on SmackDown. Of course that meant getting fed to Undertaker, but from all accounts it wasn't all that bad.
My Grade: N/A, but most reports around a B- or so
Concrete Crypt Match: Undertaker vs. Dudley Boyz (Great American Bash 2004)
Oh boy. I was there to see this match live, and what a mess. I suppose the in ring product wasn't too shabby, and in all honesty I kind of liked the spirit of the storyline, but the execution was just horrible. You basically had a free TV handicap match as the main event of your PPV (after an incredible Texas Bullrope Match between Eddie Guerrero and JBL that produced a new champion) and then finish it off with a piece of booking that would make Vince Russo proud.
Let's put it this way: the only reason people remember this match is because the Bizarro World fans turned on Undertaker and started doing the wave. It's a shame JBL was in the ring and not behind a mic for this match because I would have loved to have heard him rip the crowd for being so damn disrespectful. As a match up it wasn't bad as the marquee match for SmackDown, but I think at this point everyone was still just waiting for JBL to drop the title. The crappy DQ ending also brings down the grade on this match.
The first ever Last Ride Match ended up being pretty entertaining. JBL always worked best in a brawl and that's basically what this was. It was also a way for Undertaker to job to the sneaky champ without suffering a pinfall loss. Of course the ending just reinforced something we've known for years: Undertaker can not be blown up.
My Grade: B-
Undertaker vs. Heidenreich (Survivor Series 2004)
Was it as bad as everyone says? No. Does that mean it was good. Hell no. Heidenreich actually started off somewhat promising as a creepy big man, but he just regressed from there. Fortunately Taker didn't ever have to actually job to the guy so all is well.
From the Booker T Report Card: You know, I hadn't made a decision on ordering this show until about five minutes before it started and this was the swing match. At the end of the night I'm glad I decided to order it. Going into the show I thought Booker T stood a chance, before the match I was sure JBL would retain, and during the match it looked like both Eddie and Undertaker had a good shot. Talk about good booking. All four men put it all out there for this match and I marked out for the interaction between Eddie and Taker. Once again JBL pulled it out, but this was still a great match.
My Grade: A
Casket Match: Undertaker vs. Heidenreich (Royal Rumble 2005)
Heidenreich is still hasn't gone away and so we have this Casket Match at the Rumble. What a novel concept of having Taker's opponent be scared of a casket. This is actually probably Heidenreich's best singles match in the company, although that's really not saying much. They managed to keep it interesting and the run ins from Kane and Snitsky were a nice touch. Imagine if we had gotten that proposed Taker & Kane vs. Heidenreich & Snitsky match at WrestleMania that year.
My Grade: C-
Interpromotional, Legend vs. Legend Killer Match: Undertaker vs. Randy Orton (WrestleMania 21)
This is where the "Legend Killer" stopped actually killing legends. Still, the build and the match were both really good. This was one of the few times where I actually thought Taker could lose at Mania, and while I hate to celebrate an injury to another human being, I sure was glad when news of Orton's shoulder injury came about. Even still, I was on the edge of my seat rooting on the Deadman, who fortunately pulled it out.
My Grade: B+
No. 1 Contender's Match: Undertaker vs. Muhammad Hassan (Great American Bash 2005)
Ah yes, poor Hassan. I was a huge fan of Muhammad Hassan's and it's a damn crime that WWE screwed him over the way they did. He really didn't have much to offer in the ring, which was unfortunate, but he was one of the best guys on the mic I have seen in years, and he was a heat machine. Keep in mind that most of what he was saying was right on and I don't know how you couldn't love the guy. I would have loved to have seen WWE swerve everybody and had Hassan beat Taker here, but I suppose that would have been too much to ask for. This was pretty much a squash here with the sole purpose of killing the Hassan character. Despite my feelings on how they handled the situation they still managed to present Hassan's final moments as something entertaining.
My Grade: C
Next week we'll finish up the Report Card by looking at his continued feud with Randy Orton and watching him turn his attention to the World Heavyweight Title.
A Reason For Bullet Points: PPV Edition
I managed to watch the majority of No Way Out before Raw on Monday and then I got to finish it up once Raw went off the air, so fortunately nothing got spoiled. Surprisingly they didn't mention the winner of the main event during Raw (or at least the parts I watched) so it was all good.
The opening Six Man Tag Team Match was a lot of fun. Benoit looked good and MVP continues to grow as a performer. Seeing as how MNM and the Hardys apparently aren't finished after the Royal Rumble I wouldn't be surprised to see them in some sort of final blowoff match at WrestleMania, perhaps in a Steel Cage.
The Cruiserweight Open was fun filler, although I am disappointed that Gregory Helms lost. The Cruiserweight Title was the only reason Helms was ever booked with even the slightest bit of credibility, so that's over now. Anybody that thought that they weren't going to have fast eliminations is just fooling themselves. It was nice to see them pay homage to the only other Cruiserweight Open by having Funaki eliminated in the exact same way. Chavo is a decent enough choice for Cruiserweight Champion, so I can't really complain, but Chavo may very well be one of the ones Wellness passed up on.
I really wish everyone would lighten up on the Mixed Tag Match. It was harmless comedy and I dare say that was the Boogeyman's best match (although much like my comments on Heidenreich, that's REALLY not saying much). I was much more annoyed at the Kane-Booker match which didn't have much in the way of anything interesting. I do hope that this feud is over because Finlay really does deserve better, but this match wasn't the -*** Worst Match of the Year that everyone has made it out to be.
Speaking of Booker-Kane, talk about boring. I suppose the wrestling wasn't necessarily awful, but it was just so plodding and boring. They attempted to pick up the pace a bit, but it just never clicked. Add to that the fact that Sharmell was being particularly annoying tonight and you have the recipe for an unentertaining ten minutes.
London & Kendrick's string of show stealing matches is over. I certainly think that Deuce & Domino have the chance to improve in the ring, but as of right now they need some serious work. I hope these poor performances don't kill what could be a good gimmick, but I wouldn't be surprised if they go the way of the Heart Throbs by April.
I was really disappointed in Lashley-Kennedy as that was a match I was really looking forward to. First of all I was pissed Kennedy lost. They had a prime example to help save ECW with a champion that the fans seem to buy (and as much as I once liked Lashley I think his act is growing a tad thin with the fans) and they blew it. Plus they had yet another non-finish in an ECW World Title Match on PPV. Seriously, why bother booking the match then? At least Kennedy didn't suffer the pinfall, but they managed to undo that one come Tuesday.
Oh, and what the bloody hell was up with Kennedy's prematch promo? Was he on medication or something? Kennedy's mic work is normally so awesome and here he was stumbling around, barely sounding coherent. He made up for it with his usual good stuff on ECW, but I was worried about him for a moment there.
The Diva Talent Search wasn't a useless as I had anticipated, but it still sucked. Actually anything that involved the Extreme Expose sucks. Leyla can dance but she's still ugly and annoying as hell, Kelly Kelly is a useless bimbo, and I don't have a damn clue who the other one is. Ashley did look pretty good, but I've got to echo the sentiments of some and tell the girl to eat a sammich or something. I don't need to see your ribs, babe, it's not that sexy.
The main event was pretty good, but that was pretty much expected. The finish was well done, although I think the fans are ready to fully turn on Batista, but WWE seems reluctant to turn him all the way yet. It was a good main event that did what it needed to do, and that's plant the seeds for WrestleMania.
I've got to commend both Michael Cole and JBL. Cole gamely tried to tough it out and call the show even though it was evident how rough it was for him. When he finally couldn't continue during the closing few minutes of the main event JBL took up the slack and called the rest of the match himself. As great as JBL is I think we all learned that he shouldn't be flying solo, but even still he did a commendable job. My question is why would they put Michael Cole in that position? It's not like SmackDown doesn't have a great announcer that they pay and don't use that could have filled in, or they at least could have brought in JR and/or Joey Styles for the ECW World Title Match and the main event. Odd logic, but I guess maybe they wanted to see if Michael Cole could do it. Oh, and a note to JBL: we know that there were car crashes at the Daytona 500, you don't need to reference it five times per match. Seriously, that would have been damn near lethal drinking game.
Andy Enjoyment Index: No Way Out 2007
1) Cena & HBK-Batista & Taker
2) Six Man Tag
3) Mixed Tag
4) Cruiserweight Open
5) WWE Tag Team Title Match
6) Lashley-Kennedy
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7) Booker-Kane
8) Diva Talent Search
500 Good Words w/ Matt Adamson
Referees are the forgotten and often ignored piece of the puzzle or equation that is the professional wrestling match. They do a lot for a wrestling match that is often missed by the fans, as we are expectedly focused in on the action taking place. The referee is the guy who has to keep up with the flow of the match and do his part. They have to keep their wits about them and know as much as the wrestlers do about what is to be expected regarding the outcome of the match. However, somehow referees manage to be forgotten most of the time. Sometimes the quality of the job the referee has done doesn't make a match any better or any worse, but there are times when a match is so great that it would be a shame for the referee not to be remembered.
The Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat series from 1989 provided the wrestling world with two or three of the greatest matches ever wrestled. Flair and Steamboat wrestled fast paced matches filled with a variety of holds and a tremendous amount of wrestling psychology. What is often overlooked in these matches is the officiating, which was and still is some of the best referee work I have ever seen.
Clash of the Champions VI featured the second of these three classic matches, but this one was different, it was 2 out of 3 falls. As I watched that match recently my attention began to go from the action between the two competitors to the referee. Tommy Young, who was the referee assigned to that match, kept with the incredibly fast pace of this match, was always positioning himself in the best position possible and was constantly making the match believable by constantly checking the shoulders. He did all this without drawing undue attention to himself as so many referees do these days. In this match, Young counted more pin fall attempts during that match than I have ever seen counted. For fifty-five minutes, he kept up with the best of the best of all-time and called what I would consider to be the greatest match of all time.
So why is it that I never hear or read anybody mention Young's name when this match, or the Wrestle War match are brought up? Is it because we as wrestling fans only view the referee as the guy to count the fall? Or is it that Young did such an amazing job in making certain that Flair and Steamboat are the focus of the match that we forget he was even there? Either way, Tommy Young deserves a lot of credit for helping to make these matches two of the greatest of all-time. He is one of three guys who ran around that ring in the Superdome in New Orleans for 55 minutes on April 2nd 1989 and did everything right, everything perfect to give us wrestling fans something to remember, enjoy and be proud of for years to come.
Remember, the referee is as much a part of the match as the wrestlers are. If there were a match that I think all referees should study, the Clash VI match would be the one. If you want to look at one of the greatest matches of all time a little differently, watch this match while paying close attention to the referee work of Tommy Young and you'll be amazed and come out with a completely different perspective on the job of a professional wrestling referee.
Thanks to Andy Clark again for allowing me space in "The Shimmy" and to all the readers. I'd love to hear from you. Questions or Comments send to peachesvalentine@yahoo.com.
Who will Donald Trump's representative be for WrestleMania? If you haven't heard the spoilers already than I won't tell you, but needless to say it's not who I was hoping for.
That does it for this week's column. Be sure to come back next week as we finish up the Undertaker Report Card. You won't want to miss it! Until then, don't die. Clark…out.
