Schmozzes & Screwjobs 03.20.07: The WrestleMania Screwjob (Part 3 of 4)
Posted by Daniel Wilcox on 03.20.2007
Am I seeing double?! TWO Screwjobs? OMG!
Double D Typo War
From Bugs Bunny enthusiast Dominick on this weeks Typo War;
So you want a break this week, fine. Even though you had some typos we'll sleep this week. But next week you will see exactly why they call me Mr. Tuesday Night D-O-M. And remember you follow USA's rules. But just so you know, here's a little preview for your column.
Mr Tuesday Night, huh? We'll right now, you're going to find out why your woman calls me Mr All Night Long! Wooooooooo! And how dare you try to trick me into including rabbit photography in my column! None of that shit will ever make it into my column because I guaran-damn-tee that there will not be a single spelling or grammatical era in this bad boy. Last week I said when I won that I would shave your head BALD(!), but I realise now that that may be impractical, so instead, I've decided that my victory will mean you can NEEEVVER….
EEEEEVVVER, criticise my column in the form of typos…. AGAIN. But if you're struggling for typos, JT and JP's Hidden Highlights are full of them. And the stuff about commas you brought up last week does not count as grammatical eras because I'm almost certain the use of commas before "and" is optional. And the Double D Typo Ware begins…. NOW!
We are just 12 days away from WrestleMania 23 and that means just two more S&S left before the Showcase of the Immortals! The card is now probably all set and it looks like it should be a fantastic show. Anyway, today's edition of S&S is just about entirely WrestleMania themed with post-Mania fantasy booking for the WWE and World titles, a detailed look at this year's Money In The Bank match and who I think will win it, and of course we come to the penultimate edition of the WrestleMania Screwjob series in what will be the first ever(!) double-screwjob column. I'm doing two screwjobs today for a couple of reasons, the first being that both have similar endings which although aren't the most shocking of screwjobs per se, but like the lame DQ endings we covered a few weeks back, I want to set up another fan-interactive debate on this type of finish. The other reason is that neither of these two screwjobs have a particularly long background so there wouldn't be a hell of a lot to talk about, so two screwjobs helps to fill out the column. So let's not waste any more time and crack on, shall we?
The Screwjob
WrestleMania Screwjob (Part 3a of 4)
In the first of today's Screwjobs, The Rabid Wolverine, Chris Benoit…
goes one on one with your Olympic Hero, Kurt Angle!
Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit
WrestleMania X-Seven
Houston Astrodome, Houston, Texas
April 1st 2001
Background Information: As I said earlier there wasn't a whole lot of build to this one. Angle had just recently lost the WWF Championship at No Way Out to The Rock, setting up Rock/Austin as the main event of this show, and Chris Benoit had just turned face after a great series of matches with Chris Jericho.
Yep, that Chris Jericho.
So neither man had a lot to do heading toward the show so they began feuding with each other. Angle got pissed that Benoit had forced him to submit (for the first time in his career) on an episode of Raw a few weeks earlier. I'm fairly sure this was the first time these two ever met one-on-one, certainly on pay-per-view it was, and it would turn out to be a classic.
How It Went Down: Once again I borrowed the live report from Arnold Furious' FuriousRage.com;
For historians of this feud this is their first meeting. (Ed's Note: I'm a freakin' genius) Angle cut a promo on the way to the ring running down Texas. They go to outright amateur wrestling on the mat and the crowd POP IT. You can tell '98 is a memory by this point. They keep working the mat where Angle tries to get the ankle and the crowd continues to pop the amateur stuff. Benoit nearly gets the crossface but Angle gets the ropes. Benoit goes for it again and Angle gets the ropes and then he gets him again. Angle gets pissed off and punks out Benoit. They brawl to the floor where Benoit meets the ring steps. Back inside and Angle hits a suplex for 2. Back suplex from Angle gets 2. Belly to belly and Angle celebrates to MONSTER heat. Another belly to belly from Angle but he stalls for too long and gets hit with a clothesline. Benoit's turn to suplex now and he hits a snap suplex for 2. Superplex gets 2. Rolling German's but Angle drops down at 2 ½ and goes for the ankle. Benoit counters into his own ankle lock. Angle boots out and goes for a clothesline but Benoit slaps on the crossface. Angle counters into his own crossface. Benoit has to get the ropes. Ref is bumped and the crossface is slapped on again. Angle taps but the referee is down. Benoit goes to get the referee so Angle hits the Angle slam for 2. Angle moonsaults into knees. Flying Wolverine gets 2. Benoit goes to the German's but Angle hits a low blow and gets a roll up with a grab of the tights to take it at 14.02. ****½. Right, it's not the full whack because they went in the amateur holds for too long. The crowd may still have popped it but they'd made their point after a minute or so. The other ¼* went because the finish was so weak compared to what preceded it.
Thanks, Arnold. Before I go into the analysis I might as well do the second portion of today's double edition because their analysis will be pretty much the same. So, this time, everyone's favourite Wrestling… GAWD… JBL…
JBL is the one with the mic.
And his opponent, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, the United States Champion…
Wait a minute, a double dose of Chris Benoit?! Holy cow!
United States Championship: Chris Benoit vs. JBL
WrestleMania 22
Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
April 3rd 2006
Background Information: Really, this was only a year ago, but I can't even remember how these guys started feuding. If memory serves, JBL just won a four way #1 contender's match and then went on to feud with Stone Cold Steve Austin heading into Mania while Benoit was just a prop leading into the big show. At this point Jillian Hall was Bradshaw's "image consultant."
How It Went Down: Time to pimp 411's Archives;
Lock up to begin…to the corner, and JBL with stiff rights. Headlock now and JBL tries to keep him down. Off the ropes and JBL levels him with a shoulder. Benoit counters another and almost has the cross face! JBL fights and gets the ropes. Head butts by Benoit, JBL to his feet and back to the headlock on the mat. Benoit with a variation of an ankle lock, then clubs the back of the neck of JBL. Chops now by Benoit, Irish whip and JBL with a bog boot. Arm drags and a sharpshooter try by Benoit is stopped. JBL takes a powder to the floor, puts Jillian in front of him and then sneak attacks Benoit. Back in the ring JBL clubs away on Benoit. Chops by Benoit are to no avail as JBL maintains control. Hard whip by JBL; misses a charge and a GERMAN by Benoit. Another and the 3rd! Cutthroat by Benoit, up top…JBL pulls the ref and then falls into the top rope and Benoit gets crotched. JBL mocks Eddie a bit, goes up top…head butts by Benoit but JBL manages a SUPERPLEX! JBL covers for 2. JBL mocks Eddie and Benoit both with mannerisms and JBL now does the 3 Amigos suplex sequence, Benoit stops him on the 3rd. JBL with a big boot though and gets a cover for 2. Rear choke slash nerve hold of doom by JBL now. Jillian has a nice rack in the background I see. Good for her. Still in the hold and Benoit tries to battle out of it. Back suplex by Benoit and both men are down. They battle to their feet and exchange rights. 3-amigos by Benoit now. Cut throat and Benoit back up top…SWAN DIVE HEAD BUTT CONNECTS! 1…2…NO! JBL tries the CFH, grabs the ref as Benoit tried a German as a counter, Elbow by JBL, CFH try again…CROSS FACE by Benoit! JBL rolls him, grabs the ropes and steals a win!
Wow, Benoit lost twice. Gap tooth 0, these guys 2!
I miss JBL as WWE Champion.
Analysis: Well we had two pretty similar endings here; the heel Superstar using the "extra leverage" technique to get the pinfall. This is another of those screwy finishes that we see over and over again. But once again, the bulk of analysis on this one will come from you, the readers. I will post a thread on the 411 forums for you guys to discuss this, or if you prefer you can just email me your thoughts. Here are just a few points to consider;
- Used too often?
- Time and a place?
- Does the "leverage" really make that much difference?
The Schmozz Count: Week Commencing 03/12/2007
Raw – 1, Khali vs. Jeff Hardy
ECW – 0
Impact – None
SmackDown – 2, Kane vs. Daivari, Undertaker vs. King Booker
ECW continues it's extremely hot streak, while Impact was the only other show not to have any schmozzing. SmackDown picked up 2 Schmozzes on what happened to be one of the better SmackDowns in recent weeks. Schmozzes = quality! We seem to be picking up the pace as we head towards Mania.
Schmozz Count: 26 + 3 = 29!
Half Time
Tonnes of great columns to read on 411 this week;
The Fink's Payload
Hidden Highlights
The Shimmy
The Triple Threat
WWE vs. TNA
Column of Honour
Wrestler of the Week
The Independent Mid-Card
Friendly Competition
High Road/Low Road
That Was Then
Fact or Fiction
The 3 R's
Shining A Spotlight
Truth Be Told
Ask 411
The Box In The Attic
And don't forget to check out 411's Countdown to WrestleMania where I think we are up to about X now.
Post Mania Fantasy Booking (Part 2 of 3)
Sorry to say, but last week's booking of the Umaga/Austin stuff went drastically wrong somewhere and I have now decided to scrap those ideas. So that leaves us with two more parts to this, and today, I'm going to book where we go with our WWE Championship scene.
They way I see it, we have five guys in the WWE Championship picture coming out of WrestleMania. Those are John Cena, Shawn Michaels, Edge, Randy Orton and Umaga. Let's say right now that a SmackDown or ECW guy wins Money In The Bank so that will not be a factor, and let's also say that Shawn Michaels beat John Cena at WrestleMania to become the new WWE Champion. From here, I would have Vince McMahon set up an 8 man elimination tournament to determine the #1 contender for Backlash, and although it's been done a lot before, it's a solid concept. Here are the brackets;
John Cena vs. Jeff Hardy
Umaga vs. Carlito
The Great Khali vs. Ric Flair
Edge vs. Randy Orton
All four of these matches take place the night after WrestleMania. Cena vs. Hardy is a back and forth match up with fans routing for both guys at various points in the match. After Jeff crashes and burns on the Swanton, Cena hits the FU and picks up the win after a good 15 minutes of action. Umaga vs. Carlito would be similar to the Hardy/Umaga matches we have seen of late. It's more or less a five minute squash where Umaga picks up the victory. The third match is dominated by Khali who beat Kane at Mania last night. He is dominating Flair until the Big Red Machine's pyro goes off causing a distraction. Flair manages to somehow roll Khali up and become the first man to ever pin Khali! Orton vs. Edge is your main event of the night – they are still officially a team at this point. They have a decent 10 minute match with both guys trying to use some cheap heel tactics to get the win. The referee gets bumped and Orton goes for a chair, only for Edge to sneakily low blow Orton. Edge slides out to get a second chair and sets Orton up for a Conchairto, but Orton moves at the last second. Orton grabs the other chair and they both swing, smashing each others chairs which the referee sees and disqualifies both men. Rated RKO are pissed at each other and we get a pull-apart brawl to end that show. The next week, Ric Flair takes Umaga to limit in the first semi-final, and at one point it looks like Flair might get the upset. But Carlito comes out causing a distraction. We are not sure wether he is trying to help Flair or not, but Umaga hits a Samoan Spike and it is over. Umaga gives Carlito the Samoan Spike after the match, just for kicks. Late in the evening, we find out that both Orton and Edge are out of the tournament, but Cena doesn't get through that easily, as he will have to beat Chris Masters to advance to the final. Before that match, Edge and Orton are seen backstage. They tell each other they should get back on the same page because Cena and Masters are taking their spot. In the other semi-final, Cena is making his comeback as Rated RKO charge the ring with chairs. Cena grabs one and starts swinging as RKO bail. Cena nails Masters with the FU, locks on the STFU and it's over! It will be Cena vs. Umaga in the finals!
Throughout the whole of the next week, Umaga/Cena is hyped as the opening match of the next week's Raw. At the start of the show, Cena comes out ready for the match, but before Umaga arrives, Rated RKO jump Cena by coming through the crowd. They deliver a Spear, the RKO, and a Conchairto. Cena is in bad shape and is taken to a local medical facility. Backstage, Vince tells an unhappy Umaga that unless Cena returns by the end of the night, Umaga will be the new #1 contender! The semi-main event of the evening is Jeff Hardy and Shawn Michaels vs. Rated RKO. Mid way through the match, Jeff hurts his ankle on a dive to the floor, and is helped to the back leaving the WWE Champion all alone. Michaels fights desperately but Rated RKO appear to have his number. Orton is setting up for the RKO, but Jeff returns to take him out. He connects with Whisper In The Wind but turns into a Spear! John Cena returns from the hospital! He has a lead pipe and chases off Rated RKO. Vince McMahon then comes out and tells Cena he is glad he came back because he wouldn't want him to miss the main event. It will be the final of the tournament, Cena vs. Umaga, in a Steel Cage! Main event time! They have another hellacious 20 minute match which Umaga really dominates, capitalizing on Cena's injuries from earlier tonight. But Cena fights back as he always does. He nails the FU (after several attempts) but Umaga kicks out. He tries the STFU, but when it becomes apparent Umaga will not submit, he instead tries to climb the cage. At the top, he sees Orton and Edge charge the ring with chairs. Cena thinks twice about hopping down and instead jumps back into the ring, and right into a Samoan Spike! Umaga picks up the win! When the cage is raised and Umaga leaves, Edge sets Cena up for another Conchairto, but then tells Orton that he should do this one. Oorton is poised, but then Edge nails Orton with a Spear! Edge stands tall as Raw goes off the air!
It is announced on wwe.com that week that Cena, Edge and Orton will meet in a Triple Threat match to determine the #1 contendership next Sunday at Backlash! It is also announced that Edge will go one-on-one with Shawn Michaels just days before Backlash on Raw (in the UK!). Early on in the night, Randy Orton beats Jeff Hardy, while John Cena picks up a win against Chris Masters again. In the main event, Umaga runs down to interfere, but gets some Sweet Chin Music to knock him off of the apron and through the announce table! Edge then dominates until HBK comes back toward the end, but the referee gets knocked down. Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music but the referee is down. While checking on the referee, Michaels gets low-blowed by Edge, who then hits a Spear on HBK. This is where Randy Orton runs in and nails his former tag partner with an RKO, allowing Shawn to pick up the victory. This brings out Cena who takes out Orton with an FU! FU for Edge as well! Cena leaves the ring with just Shawn Michaels in it, but he is soon attacked by Umaga who delivers the Samoan Spike and ASS RAM(!) to the Champion as we head into Backlash.
From here you have a whole bunch of options. My recommendation would be for Michaels to retain against Umaga, and Cena winning the triple threat setting up a WrestleMania rematch for Judgment Day. Also at JD, Edge and Randy Orton would go one-on-one in a grudge match. If the build is done right after Backlash, they would both be tweeners and the fans would still be well into it. Umaga could have a more competitive feud with Jeff Hardy over the Intercontinental Championship, or even move to ECW to continue their feud from WrestleMania.
Some other Raw notes;
- Kane and Khali would continue their feud to Backlash
- Carlito and Flair continue to team up but more tension is teased.
- Shawn Michaels and John Cena remain champs until the Raw after Backlash, where The World's Greatest Tag Team upset them after miscommunication from the champs.
- Chris Masters gets pissed off with jobbing to Cena and Super Crazy and moves to TNA, where he realises he is not wanted there either. He takes an early retirement.
False Finishes & Fan Cams
Well all the reader feedback has pretty much all been typed out already in the form of Dominick and his typo tyranny. So straight on to the False Finishes!
Money In The Bank III
First of all we have 8 guys in this year which I think is a great idea, to be honest. We have a nice blend of guys in there; Matt and Jeff Hardy and Edge all have great Ladder match experience and expects these guys to provide the high spots. Finlay did well in his role last year and should be more comfortable now he has some ladder experience under his belt. Kennedy and CM Punk are both guys I expect to do well in this kind of match. Punk should be able to provide some nice spots in this match, and Kennedy will really know how to sell the punishment of the ladder match. A Green Bay Plunge of the ladder would be sweet, too. Randy Orton and Booker T are the two guys I'm most worries about because I'm sure neither has any ladder experience. Neither guy's style seems to fit this type of match but I guess we'll see.
As for who should win, I think we can definetly rule out Finlay. He has been a JTTS for the past 6 months and that shouldn't change anytime soon unless he were to go to ECW where I think he would make an AWESOME heel champion, and he could also continue his feud with Lashley which never really had a satisfying conclusion. Skits with Little Bastard, sorry, Hornswoggle, running around with the briefcase would be hilarious though. As I said, JTTS, and that's not going to change, shame. Unfortunately, I also don't see Matt Hardy winning. Do I think he could be a guy to do well in that sort of position? Hell, yes. His promos skills are nowhere near as bad as some people say, he's great in the ring and he clearly has a huge fan base. The only reason he won't win is because it's obvious WWE doesn't have any faith in him to be something more than a mid card guy who might get the occasional big win.
I'm fairly sure King Booker will not win this one, he doesn't need it. He's a guy that can transition from mid card to main eventer very easily many times in a year, and after his successful run as champ last year, I don't think it's time to for Booker to be near the World title right now. He still has a kickass gimmick, and that's why he will always be perpetually over as a heel and can move up and down the card at will. Onto the only ECW representative in the match, CM Punk. At the moment it appears Punk will become a key factor in the ongoing war between the New Breed and the ECW Originals. Considering that that feud should continue for several more months (in my opinion, at least), Punk doesn't need the MITB contract to become a star, because becoming the main man in the Originals/New Breed rivalry. He stills has a decent shot at winning in my book, but I think there are better choices.
Jeff Hardy is an interesting option. He seems to be losing some momentum going in to WrestleMania thanks to the likes of Khali and Umaga, and I genuinely think McMahonagement does not know what to do with Jeff right now, or indeed after WrestleMania. I think Jeff as a top level guy would work quite by the time the Summer rolls around and I think holding the MITB contract would be a great way for Jeff to go. You could play it up with all the champions not taking Jeff seriously, Jeff scouting all three champions for a while. Someone tell me, how good would a Hardy vs. HBK Ladder match be at Summerslam? I would mark the fuck out for that one. I do think the only way to legitimise Hardy as a main eventer would be a huge win like this on the biggest stage of them all.
Edge is undefeated at Mania, but I don't think that is going to be much of a factor. Why would it be? I seriously doubt WWE ever planned this guy to have his own huge streak when we already have one, unless they wanted the two to collide somewhere in the near future. The main reason I don't want the Rated R Superstar to win is that he has been champ and won MITB before. This type of win is best served for an mid-upper card guy like it has been in years past, and not a former multi-time champion. There may well be some story built with Orton in this match, but I don't think they'll do the full split here. I can see both guys climb the ladder, realise who they are up there with, and both be pushed off leading to the finish. Orton would be a better choice than Edge because he hasn't been champ for three years and I don't think has been on the same level since. I don't think he will win it though because he's not a guy that needs this stip to get himself in the WWE title picture.
So that leaves Mr Kennedy! Kennedy. And he's the guy I expect to pick up the win, mainly by process of elimination, but also the fact that he is SmackDown's fastest rising star and a guy that would work well with this title shot in tow. When and where does Kennedy use the MITB? More on that next week when I book the World title scene after WrestleMania.
Taking It Home
Next week's edition of S&S will be 6 days before Mania, and we'll basically be rounding off some of the stuff we've got going now like the Mania Screwjobs and post Mania booking. Who knows what else I'll have in store, you'll just have to come back to find out. Have a good week, y'all.
