WRestling’s 3R’s 3.30.07: RETRO WrestleMania XXII, Legacy up for Grabs, Team Angle 2k7 and The Road to WrestleMania XXIII!
Posted by Larry Csonka on 03.30.2007
All that and Abyss’ mom~! You know you have to read this column.
The 3R's of wRestling
Introduction~!
Welcome back kids for another edition of Wrestling's 3R's! As always I am Larry Csonka, along with me is my tag team partner "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks. It is time again for that walk through the wild world of wrestling TV that we take each and every week. It's the build to WrestleMania here this week as well as TNA working towards Lockdown, so let's break down the week that was!
411 on MySpace…
Yeah baby, the rumors are true! Go and check it out @ www.myspace.com/411mania
For those that asked…last time…
What do I think the WrestleMania buy rate will be?It will top 1-million buys, with 710,000 domestic. Bookmark that shit kids.
Dream Match Request…
Matt Classic vs. Curry Man; book that shit!
How the 3R's of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 3 R's. I will take the 5 main shows (6 if I go RetRo) of the week: TNA Impact, WWE Raw, ECW on Sci-Fi and WWE Smackdown. If we have a PPV, that show will get a special PPV edition of the R's all to its own. I then group my feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and need discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles, Diva searches and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come, unless you are TNA. They have a special R all of their own, the 6th R; the Russo-FN-Riffic~!
This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a "mark" column, nor a "smark" column, I cannot speak for Geoff, but my goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. There are also occasions where I will bring out a 4th, 5th or even a 6th R to the column, so beware of those~! I will not apologize for my opinions, they are as they are, whether very positive or negative.
iMpact!:
iMpact 3.22.06:
The Right:
Legacy vs. Titles - Team 3D came out to the ring this week with some BOXES and cut a promo on LAX. They actually demanded that they come to the ring so that they could talk.
The promo: Ray says it has been a long three months and they have beat each other down for those months and LAX has got the better of them. They have done everything to protect the titles and they have pissed of 3D like no other. Ray says they understand them because they are the same. They are just as bad HOMEY. But, Konnan tells us that you want our legacy. You don't get that by asking, you earn that in this business. They pull out replicas of all the titles that they have won and thrown them on the mat. WWE, WCW and ECW. What about the All Japan Real League titles? At Lockdown, 3D is ALL IN. Their legacy vs. the NWA tag Titles.
Konnan then came out and said that those titles meant NOTHING to him and that they would not pretend to be champions of other companies because they were the TNA champs and were forming their own legacy. This was great because while the "legacy" of Team 3D was put over, Konnan put over the TNA titles as the MOST important. That is why this worked and that is why the match seems important. I liked this a lot, and I hope that the match can deliver where the past bouts couldn't.
Daniels vs. Lynn/Storm and Moore vs. Harris and Gail - Jerry Lynn was to do battle with James Storm this week on Impact. As he gave his interview, the lights dropped and Daniels appeared and beat his ass down with a bat, continuing the Sting tease. I am really beginning to like this and when Daniels gets promo time and actually feuds with Sting, this should be some good stuff. But this left Storm without an opponent. He called anyone out and Chris Harris, who had been denied a match because of his eye, came out and looked to do battle. Gail Kim came out and tried to hold him back and begged he not fight, because he may get hurt worse. Harris would chase Storm around more and Gail and Jackie would have a great brawl, which would lead to Cornette's office later and a match was made. I think that they will actually have a good match at the PPV and have no issues with this as I love the AMW feud and use of Gail and Jackie here.
puRgatory:
Team Angle 2k7 Rules, Serotonin likes gay bondage - So 3/5 of Team Angle 2k7 were in action last week on Impact. They took on Serotonin, and in the end they killed these poor bastards. Now the reason that this goes here is this, Team Angle 2k7 should have gone out there and kicked the hell out of who they put in front of them. But here in lies the problem. They are trying, supposedly, to establish Serotonin as some kind of formidable group. They have had a slow build, name and look changes and even got a win. But then they throw them out there with Team Angle 2k7 to die and that is the mistake I feel. This is why you have Sharky, Norman Smiley, The Naturals (now) and others, to do the quick job and make Team Angle 2k7 look great. I have no clue what will happen with Serotonin, as I have said, they're just jobbers with a gimmick at this point.
Bobby Roode and Eric Young - I am confused by this whole thing really. Roode wants to have Young under contract because people love him and "Robert Roode should be loved." Got it, but instead of tagging with him or helping him win matches, he is out to humiliate him and cost him matches. And now that Petey is done with Storm, he is out to help Young. Which is fine as long as he is not his "friend." This could be fine, but as I said last week, I have liked EY in the past and think Roode takes too much crap from people, it's just too much been there and done that to me. For the most part they are confined to the PPV Pre-Show stuff, and when they are on PPV they are taking too much time talking, no action. Hopefully they fix this.
11:28 - Well, 48-extra seconds of in ring action this week. Some people are going to email and complain about this being here, again, but it is something I feel strong about. As I have said in the past and will maintain to say as long as needed, they need to offer up as close to as much wrestling time as there are commercials. There are 18-20 minutes of commercials per episode of Impact. So hence forth as I have said, I feel that there should be around 18-minutes of wrestling action per week, minimum on Impact. Sure there are times when you can have more story than in ring action, but the fact that this is a regular occurrence is disturbing. And that's all I have to say about that.
The Ridiculous:
NADDA~! -
SmackDown!: By: "The Whole Geoffin Show" Geoff Eubanks
SmackDown 3.23.06
Just a quick note to say I loved your mention of the great man in your recent 3R's, I saw him in London the only time he's ever come over here and it was amazing. I go to gigs all the time but this still stands tall as one of the best ever. Love it.
You're welcome, Paul! Always great to hear from the Mother country! The Poohbah and I are big fans of Dick. Well, we both dig Richard Cheese, anyway, and I'm happy to pimp him any chance I get. His duet on "The Girl Is Mine" with Steven Hawkins is glorious, indeed.
Also need to say hi to my buddies JT and That Fucking Conservative, long-lost Mike LaFave. JT, thanks for your advice with regard to which DVD recorder to buy (which has the most confusing directions in the history of entertainment appliances) and then be absolutely no help to me as to how to title chapters…that's awesome. Bastard. And let's not disturb LaFlava…he's "busy" with his Bobby Lashley posters.
The Right:
WrestleMania build-up – The Big Show (WrestleMania, not Paul Wight) is this Sunday and we're coming into the homestretch of the major stories' respective builds:
Battle of the Billionaires – I've been rather vocal about how I do NOT like this angle for myriad reasons which we'll get to in a bit. However, it also can't be argued that this match is going to be the centerpiece if the entire event and, if nothing else, McMahonagement's commitment to shoving this story down our throats, erm, I mean, making certain that this program is prominently featured in the minds and television screens of not just the WWE fan, but those of "the normals", as Warrior Warrior would refer to them, as well (Thursday afternoon, the BotB one of the featured stories on Yahoo.com's main page). Donald Trump's involvement, without a doubt, is the impetus for the mainstream attention, and was a shrewd move on McMahon's part, and is completely WM consistent, considering Trump has a history with the event. Each year we get a thoroughly sports-entertainment feature, invariably involving McMahon and, while usually heavily dependant upon story much more than substance, the matches always manage to deliver. Considering the fact that a billionaire (or someone who likes to make us think he still is such) will be shaved bald by the final bell, this match will likely please the 70,000 in attendance at Ford Field and Vince's sheep, uhm, I mean fans of sports-entertainment around the globe, and it should, as they've really pulled out all the stops for this one.
Batista versus The Undertaker for the World Title – Although I have a problem with a special attraction match, such as the one previously discussed, taking precedence over a title match, there's a lot riding on this one, as well, as the price, IMO, is much higher then having one's head shaved bald. I mean, the hair will grow back (or in Vince's case, he's a "billionaire", he can afford another toup), but Batista stands to lose the WT he fought so hard to regain, and The Undertaker's 13-0 WM winning streak stands to be broken (don't hold your breath, though, friends). As such, the fact that this match was one of the first announced for the PPV laid out the cards pretty early, left for a somewhat anti-climactic build. We've had some awesome (although somewhat stock) Taker footage/antics and seen Batista vacillate between confidence and uncertainty, which has left him somewhat wishy-washy in the face of The Dead Man. Although I scrutinized the quality of the match initially, we've seen some pretty impressive outings by both men on the Road to WrestleMania, and I'm convinced that this one, while not a sure thing such as John Cena/Shawn Michaels or the Money in the Bank 3 clashes, will hold its own nicely, especially as we're really beginning to see some derision between champion and challenger these last couple weeks. This week's face-to-face conducted by JBL on the go-home should be very interesting indeed.
A thoroughly AWESOME Hall of Fame Class of 2007 – Rounding out this year's list of inductees truly ended in a bang with the inclusion of THE WILD SAMOANS, The Sheik and Jim Ross.
I recall watching the thrilling title change as Afa & Sika dropped the tag belts to The Rock's dad, Rocky Johnson, and Tony Atlas (a question I've always had about that, though…how did breaking that wooden chair over the head of a Samoan hurt him…?). THE SAMOANS had a stranglehold on the titles and it was going to take an act of God, a writ from Congress and a notarized letter from The Pope to get the metal off those two savages. The incomparable Lou Albano, the mouthpiece for the wild men, absolutely completed the package and I hope the good Captain gets his due in that Right, as well.
I really don't know much about The Sheik, other than he was the father of hardcore wrestling and that he trained Rob…Van…Dam. That's all I need. Welcome!
Good Ol' JR. What can be said? I've been a HUGE mark for Jim Ross since I first encountered his unique, innovative and thoroughly engaging brand of commentary back when I was a teenager watching the UWF (Mid-South) and was always amazed at how he could make a wristlock appear to be a matter of life-or-death. The Attitude years would not have been the same without him, as his voice and enthusiasm were every bit as functional a component to the match he called as the men and women performing it, to say nothing of the fact that, as the VP of Talent Relations during that time, he was responsible for bringing in the people who made that era so thrilling and memorable (to say nothing of profitable!). As the years progress, Ross has acquired his detractors, but JR will always remain to me what Gordon Solie was to him. God bless Jim Ross and all he has contributed in a heartfelt and honorable manner.
Saying goodbye - I don't have much firsthand experience with Arnold Skaaland, other than recalling him throwing in the towel on Bob Backlund's behalf in that infamous match against The Iron Sheik, but he's a bonafide legend and is always spoken of in the best of terms. Having come too late to enjoy his contribution to wrestling, I can't say that I'll personally miss him, but it appears that his hand touched a lot of people who formed what it is we know and love today, and for that, I respect the man.
Similarly, Ernie Ladd predated me, therefore I've no memories of him or his tenure as an active performer. However, the fantastic memorial piece shown on WWE-TV was intriguing and I'd be quite curious to check out his career. Although some old footage of promos don't necessarily age well, he seemed to really have an infectious charisma. Also, anyone who pioneers diversity is okay in my book, so I raise a glass to the spirit and memory of Ernie Ladd.
Now…everyone else…PLEASE STOP DYING.
Steve Austin Stuns Hollywood – Just a quick mention in this regard. I'm proud to say I've been a huge fan of Steve Austin's since his days in WCW as part of THE DANGEROUS ALLIANCE and THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDES. It was absolutely thrilling to watch his rise to the top of the business and I'm stoked to see that his talent will not be squelched by his physical limitations. Go get em, Steve! We'd love to have ya out here!
purgatory:
The Wolverine gets a CW tune-up – I'm not going to hate on Gregory Helms because I truly believe in his talent; as I've said here many times, I've been a fan of his since I first saw him as ¼ of THE BADSTREET BOYS in MPW back in the day. I also think his character's getting a raw deal as he's not received a CWT rematch, especially since he was never pinned for the belt, but that's another story for another time. My issue in this regard is that Chris Benoit is going to WM to battle someone who, for all intents and purposes, is a star on the rise and, for that reason (and that reason only in my world) stands a hell of a chance to swipe the UST this Sunday. Granted, I hold Helms in quite high esteem, but, in the eyes of McMahonagement and the general WWE fan, he's "just" a CW, and no amount of JBL's shilling will improve his standing in their eyes. And so Benoit gets a CW for tune-up? The match was great, and could have been even better with more time, but as it was, it appears as if Benoit's being viewed as a disposable talent by the company and that's a steaming pile of horseshit.
And because I couldn't say it any better, I'm reprinting a letter Larrold ran in his Tuesday news column from reader Keith:
John Cena makes freaking Chris Benoit tap... in 6 minutes? BULL&%@#!!!!!
What crap is this, this is Chris Benoit, "The Canadian Crippler", taps out in 6 minutes to john Cena. I can take him losing in a glorious battle, I can take him losing to a very good cheater(Mr. Kennedy), what I can't take is a very good, serious, important wrestler being jobbed to hogan2k7! If they want to fix this then fine, feud him with Cena after a draft or something, make him a ticked off evil bastard who comes for revenge.
The man who had arguably the greatest WM match period and he's jobbed out to the next Hogan... BULL!!!!!!!
Fah-keen-AY, dood.
Petoria's flag had more merit – Yup, another Family Guy reference. I'm commenting upon JBL's statement that Brian Kendrick & Paul London have become the flag-bearers for the WWE tag team division. I mean, there ISN'T one. Oh, there are teams, but they're only around to job in handicap matches and to make the main event stars look good. The lucky ones get square-pegged into cookie-cutter programs against L&K and are then are never heard from again. With the complete and utter abandonment of the almighty brand split, MNM were allowed to give the champs something to do, but with the news I regard as damn near tragic of Joey Mercury's release earlier in the week, that baby went out with the proverbial bathwater, as well. I'd have loved to have seen K&L battle MNM over the WWETTTs at WM in a match long enough to have allowed something to really develop in the ring without the handcuffs, but that's not to be. At least tonight they shook up the Kendrick-as-face-in-peril format. For what it was allowed to be, this was a great little match.
WTF with MNM being announced last, though? It's tradition that the champ(s) is/are announced last. I guess it's cuz Melina is the Women's Champion and that she and Johnny Nitro are on the "A" show. Best of luck, Merc…hope to see you on my TV again sooner than later. I'll miss you.
Shabo & The Wang – Sounds like something they might try and run on Spike after Impact!, huh? Okay, first off, I thought a LOT more of the match between Chavo Guerrero and Jimmy Wang Yang than did Dunn, but that's okay; great minds are allowed to disagree sometimes. I will, however, admit that some of Chavo's offense seemed surprisingly and uncharacteristically pedestrian. As a fan of The Wanger, I was stoked to see him get the V and, with only eight matches on a four-hour PPV, I'm hoping there might be some last-minute additions to WM, this being one of them. Anytime a challenger scores a clean pin on a champion, that challenger should automatically be allowed a title match…STAT! How about a threeway dance for the CWT with Helms and JWY challenging Chavo…?
The wRong
Kane's sultry breath was causing Kristal's wig to wilt – So Khali gets a WM payday and Johnny Nitro gets to be a valet for Melina? Riiiight…this match is gonna suck ass and should be placed smack dab in the middle of the PPV to allow for bladder relief and beer refills.
Because MVP's segment this week was a retread from last week, so is this - MVP = LCD – The spirit of The Honky-Tonk Man is alive and well, it's just found its way into the body of a grown black man who enjoys dressing like an elementary school drill team member going by the name MVP. A load of cheap heat here that someone with the charisma of a Guerrero or a Jericho could have pulled off beautifully; however, instead, with MVP, it just felt formulaic, unnatural and forced. Don't get me wRong, I'm pleased that Chris Benoit FINALLY has a WM role, but if it's just going to be to carry this lump of crap through six minutes of eye-gouging, back-scratching and titty-twisters before Benoit drops the UST, I'd just as soon have him chill in Atlanta with Nancy and enjoy a night off.
The Ridiculous:
Maybe Vince should have Pat Patterson start dressing him – WTF was Vince wearing…?! That coat looked like the tile on a truck stop bathroom that had been hosed down by a diabetic with a urinary tract infection. Vince, dood, here…Armani.com…it's not that tough. Jesus, Men's Warehouse…do SOMEthing, starting with firing your stylist. Bring back Rico, for Foley's sake, but you have to stop this…my television threw up.
LOVED the expression of disgusted exasperation Kennedy gave Vince after the latter assraped the former's signature "Mr. Kennedy…Kennedy"…I was hoping Ken'd clock the old fucker, especially after Vince cut him off and smacked down his arm. I'd love to believe that perhaps we were sowing the seeds of contempt between the two because after Vince is shaved, he's gonna be PISSED and there WILL be retribution upon any who has failed him and that program could send Kennedy to the moon. Of course Mr. Continuity and I know better than to hold our breath.
I officially hate Bobby Lashley. The only reason the Jolly Green Giant looks as good as he does is because he's been BOOKED to look good. As I said at the top of the column, all stops have been pulled for the BotB and it appears to be paying off for them. The question is, will Lashley continue to be booked in so solid a fashion after WM? I doubt it. Although, who knows, Vince made an icon out of a leathery, bald no-talent from Florida in the ‘80s, maybe he can do it again. But we all know how I loathe Hogan, mainly because his stranglehold on the top spot prevented other performers of his day who actually could, you know, WRESTLE from sharing the same honor, so it stands to reason that Lil Bobby should follow in his footsteps.
Money in the Bank or Loose Change in the Pocket? – You know, since the match was announced, we've seen some stellar action in the ring, both as performers battled one another for the privilege of making it to the MITB3 match, as well as subsequent one-on-one contests to preview the action we'll see this Sunday and all have been fun, exciting promos of WM's sure thing. However, what did we have this week? TWO handicap matches on tonight's show. Four $ITB performers all doing the job, sacrificed to two men who are in the "real" matches. And in Randy Orton and Kennedy's case, they both looked double inept, because the sacred calf, Bobby Lashley, managed to defeat them both separately in a tables match, smashing them both through the pine. At least King Bookah and Finlay got off easy because their match was a no-contest in an official capacity, but let's face it, although they looked good against The Undertaker for the most part, in the end, once Batista hit the ring, they were made to look like chumps and very after-the-fact, mere pawns to allow Big Dave to get revenge on Taker for last week. You kinda get a picture as to which stories McMahonagement cares about, don't you?
Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: yostankmama@hotmail.com
RAW!:
Raw 3.26.07:
The Right:
JR to the Hall of Fame - As I have said over the last few weeks, I am digging this year's hall of fame class. Some people have taken to calling it the 2007 Hall of Lame, but I believe those people just are ill informed about the people heading into the hall this year, and if they really knew what and who they were talking about, they would change their tone. Maybe after they get the DVD and see what the guys are all about. Anyway, this was the final announcement this week and it was GOOD OLD JR. They ran a really good video package for him I thought, the only issue with the video I had is that it was 99% WWF/E stuff. They own so much video, show him from back in the day damn it! But it was good and when it was over the man got the BEST ovation of anyone thus far in the Hall of Fame class, and you could see that it meant the world to JR to have that appreciation shown to him after years of being set of fire, beat down in his home town and having an "on air" colonoscopy. This meant something to him and you could tell it meant something to the guys in the video package. Austin, Rock and HHH all saying that he (at least) was the greatest of their generation, but that they would always want him calling their match. And to think, they have tried to fire him for years. While JR does make the occasional mistakes, I have said and will continue to say, NO ONE calls the big match like Jim Ross. He is a valuable asset to the company and I don't think they will fully realize that until he is gone.
Austin Kicks off the Show - Raw actually started off with the COACH in the ring. He wanted to let us know that the Lashley vs. McMahon match would be a no DQ match. But as he was tossing out the rules, Stone Cold made his way out to the ring. Austin decided to tell us a little story. He got a truckload of gifts over the last week or so, and they were all from The Donald. But Austin didn't want to be bribed, and told the driver to take them back to New York. But the plot thickens you see, as the driver said that they didn't come from New York, but Stamford. Austin was about to go after Vince, when Coach took the bullet. And then the crowd got what they wanted, they got to see a stunner. KICK WHAM STUNNER at that. That's all this was designed for, people want to see the stunner and they gave them a free one before WrestleMania.
Punk looks strong and the Cutting Edge Returns! - Young CM Punk got to wrestle on Raw this week. They had him face off with the younger Kenny Dykstra, and this was a smart move. They were in Chicago and he was guaranteed a big pop, which he got. Also having him on Raw and getting a decisive victory is smart as Raw has a much bigger audience than ECW. SO he and Kenny had a fine little bout and Punk wins with the Go2Sleep…GO2SLEEEEP~! Edge then comes out, congratulates him and invites him to the Money in the bank Edition of…THE CUTTING EDGE~! Oh yes, the Cutting Edge returned after the commercial break with all of the Money in the Bank competitors in the ring. This was great as it was Edge going at it verbally with all the guys in the match. The "I don't know how Matt Hardy got to WrestleMania" was tremendous. Pulling the mic away from Kennedy was great heel stuff and overall it worked well. They all started to brawl and Edge skipped out while they all fought. Punk and the Hardy's cleared the ring, and then saw Edge and chased him away. This was good stuff overall and gave some nice bump to the match.
Cena and HBK drop the promo goodness - As it should be no surprise, John Cena and HBK stepped it up again and delivered excellent promos before the main event tag team match. This gets this separate small mention because both men have been so on in this whole thing that they really need to be praised. Considering this was not going to happen, we have gotten gold and should appreciate it while we can.
The Main Event was one of the greatest things I seen all time, all my life - This was greatness and the perfect way to close out the show. While the match was not long, they did everything the right way and I loved it. HBK and Taker could do no wrong and Cena and Dave could do no right. The first thing that was perfect was that Taker got revenge for No Way Out as he tossed HBK onto Dave and basically said, fuck off bitch, I'm done. That was awesome, and I am glad they did that as it was good continuity. And then HBK and Cena beat down Dave, and HBK was going to go for the super kick, but Cena decided to channel Sting and be dumb. Instead he was like, "Wait Shawn old buddy old pal! Let's be best friends forever and do the 5-knuckle shuffle together, it'll be keen!" So they do the move and Cena pops up and celebrates and yells to the world, "LOOK! HBK DID MY MOVE WITH ME! IT WAS PEACHY KEEN!" And then he turns around and WHAM…SUPERKICK BITCH. That is what everyone had been waiting for and they got it and it was perfect. I loved how they did this and THIS stuff made me excited for WrestleMania.
puRgatory:
Vince/Umaga/Lashley - First of all, yes this was more good build for the match Sunday. This match is getting tons of press and it is going to help do great buys so that's why this doesn't totally get reamed here. But it really didn't come off well. We all knew Vince would have the goofs hit the ring, and that they would be beat down and that Umaga would hit the ring and that Vince would get the pin. But they totally messed up the first pin, because it was supposed to be a kick out. So they had to continue on and adlib a bit to do the 2nd pin, which is supposed to be the only pin. Welcome to live TV. It could have been worse, but the execution was off so it goes here.
The wRong:
The Hardy's vs. Orton and Kennedy - So this was part of the hype for the Money in the Bank match. In actuality this was a good plan, the Hardy's together vs. Kennedy and Orton. It should have worked really well, but it didn't. I know that Orton and Kennedy haven't worked together before, but they didn't look on the same page as a team. And then there is the fact that Orton and Jeff Hardy seem to have no chemistry together in a wrestling ring. In the end we got an OK match, but it felt really flat to me and I really didn't get that feeling that I wanted to see these men do battle Sunday, and that's the wrong thing to do.
Flair vs. Khali/Kane Stuff -In retaliation for ruining the match for the Money in the Bank, Ric Flair decided to take on the Great Khali. And this was about to be the worst Ric Flair match I have ever seen, but Carlito made the "save" and took the tree slam from Khali. Evil Movie Kane then ran out with his meat hook of doom and they "battled." Kane stood tall and ran off Khali and I didn't care one little bit. I hope I am wrong, but I see ugly things for their WM match this Sunday.
Dance 3, Looks 10 - Well, I suppose the ladies tried. The concept was fine as they did the three Playboy playmates vs. Melina, Victoria and Jillian. This was to put over that not only was the lades match for the title Sunday, but that it was going to be a LUMBERJILL match. Just like the days of Lou Thesz and Strangler Lewis, this is the only way to settle the score. Anyway, the wasn't horrible but it wasn't really good. I appreciate that they are building to WrestleMania and trying to give this some time, but it was just not that good and did nothing for me. Also, this was time they should have spent building something else, something that will sell buys.
The Ridiculous:
NADDA~!
ECW on Sci-Fi!:
ECW on Sci-Fi!: 3.27.07:
The Right:
The Money in the Bank Preview - The one thing that I really liked on the show was the attention to the Money in the Bank Ladder Match. While Raw was a showcase for the two world title matches and the hair vs. hair match, and rightfully so, the Money in the Bank Ladder Match is a gimmick that draws the fans in, and with 8-men involved they needed proper time to help and build it up. On Raw they got the promo time, and the tag match, but tonight they got the main event in a tag match. There was some backstage build to this as well, first was Edge trying to be a team player and convince the Hardy's and Punk that they should work together. Next we saw Kennedy and Orton talking. Finlay wanted to know what they were discussing, and they blew him off. KING BOOKAH then appeared and asked what was up, and Finlay said they were talking shit on the good king. The good king tried to be diplomatic and suggested that he and Finlay stick together, Finlay said it was a great idea, but that the good king couldn't trust him either. Small, but fun stuff to get this all set up. They go and have the match, and they get some decent time and everyone gets to look good and in the end, King Booker gets the big win over CM Punk (OMG BOOKER IS USING HIS POLITICAL POWERS TO BURY PUNK~!) The end was the fun stuff I like to see before a big show like WM. They do the big brawl, the ladders come out and beat downs happen. The Hardy's clear the ring, set up the super tall ladder and both climb and we're left with the, "What happens if these brother's do this Sunday" image, which is a good selling point. Good match, good ending and all in all, it should have helped sell the PPV, which is what the whole point of this week's shows should be.
puRgatory:
RVD vs. Burke - I talked about this last week, the week before and I think the week before that. They have been running dangerously close to burning this feud out before the big pay off match. As I pointed out in last week's column, these 8-men are scheduled to do battle at WrestleMania. They have already done a lot of matches in various tag formulas, and prior to that they did different versions of singles matches. They have really exhausted the match ups going into WrestleMania, and that isn't a good thing. Some will disagree and they seem to like the match ups, and lie most of the matches, this was a fine match. No complaints, they got time, RVD appears motivated and Elijah s coming along nicely as an overall performer. So in the end this was a fine way to open the show, but I really feel that they are going to have less "hardcore" fans burnt out on this match.
The wRong:
Vince and Lashley via Satellite - I really didn't like this follow up to the angle from Monday at all. Basically we got Vince yapping his gums for 4-minutes, basically not saying anything special while Lashley sits there like a tool bad ass. Then when Vince is done, Lashley tells him that he is old and he'll be bald soon. WOW…here's my money! All in all it was a poor follow up, and a lazy one at that. Lashley should have been enraged. He was humiliated on national TV as he was pinned by Vince McMahon. He was deceived as he expected to face Vince, but had to run the gauntlet. He should want revenge and should have been tearing the place apart looking for Vince. They should have teased that Vince was there, ad have the enraged Lashley searching and turning the building upside down for him. They also could have laid the groundwork for the future by having Burke tell him where Vince was, only for Lashley to run into an "office" but t be a trap with Umaga, Cade, Murdoch and any other goofs they could round up. The door closes, you hear the ass whooping and you wonder, "Will Lashley make it to the show Sunday?" They had a chance to be creative and instead went bland and boring.
The Ridiculous:
Balls vs. Snitsky - I do not now, nor will I ever give a flying fuck about Snitsky. I appreciate the attempted make over, but no about of squashes will make me consider him a threat, or even a good wrestler, and I am not talking about in ring technique per say, the overall package is what I mean. As I wrote last week, maybe if they would have started with him doing squashes at the beginning I could have gotten into this. Or maybe if he had never been brought up to the main roster when he was and he debuted now I could get into the character, but I just can't do it. He doesn't look scary really, just ugly with bad steroid acne. I am not buying him as a threat, I am not buying the character. He is there because he is big, Afa trained him and Vince has his fetish. I expect a world title run for him, joy. Now with that being said, this is part of the go home for WrestleMania, neither of these guys are on the show or will be anywhere near the show, so they didn't need to be on this show. Don't waste time on the people not on the biggest show of the year; focus on what will sell buys.
Money In the Bank - I really enjoyed this match. The MITB deal was something I didn't think they should do so quick again, but I was very glad that it came off so well. This match was so odd because of who was involved, but that was also part of the match's charm I believe. Shelton once again did some amazing things, as I believe that the kid is part GAZELLE! He did a variation of last year's run of the ladder spot that cemented him as a favorite among many people, as well as spring boarding into the ring onto the ladder with ease. RVD and Hardy did their parts as you would expect, Finlay was the tough bastard and Flair was Flair. The crowd was very into him, and when they ran the injury spot the crowd seemed very concerned. When he did return, the crowd popped huge and Finlay had the greatest look on his face, like "you mother fucker, how DARE you come back" and then they brawled to the crowds delight. Lashley looked out of his element, as I am sure this is his first ladder match, but his part was ok. In the end, RVD, Shelton and Hardy brawled and RVD kicked their ladder sending them to the floor, in which Hardy took a scary bump. RVD got the huge win, breaking the "glass ceiling" as he promised to the crowd's delight. A great match, and these things could become a WrestleMania staple.
HBK destroys Vince - This was essentially a big ass whooping of Vince, and it was a good one. HBK once again put on a one man show, and this was the definition of "carrying a broomstick to a *** star match." They did the right things, Spirit Squad made an appearance and got ran off, and then Shane got involved. HBK made sure to get proper revenge as Vince set up for HBK to kiss his ass, but Shane got low blowed and had to kiss Vince's ass. Funny as hell. HBK then handcuffed Shane to the ropes, mocked him with his own dance and then beat him down with the kendo stick. HBK then destroyed Vince with a nasty chair shot, which mangled the chair and tapped an artery on Vince. Then the ladder came into play and HBK leveled Vince with that. It should be noted that Vince didn't put a hand up, that crazy old bastard took both shots unprotected. Vinnie Mac, always setting standards for the boys. HBK could have ended the match with the superkick, but then decided not to. He punished Vince more. He then laid Vince on the table, set up the ladder…and again decided no.
I liked that HBK sort of went back to old HBK, refusing to put Vince away and grabbing the "Jeff Hardy Approved" ladder. He did the huge elbow, a spot that will be replayed forever. Right before hand he did the "DX" chop and the crowd loved it. He then grabbed Vince and said, "You will stand here and I will kick your teeth down your throat!" He then did the hoppy deal in the corner and exploded with the superkick to end the match. As Vince did the stretcher job out, he gave HBK the bird with a crippled looking hand. Great stuff, it went too long for what it was, but it did deliver a good time so I approve overall.
CRAZY MICKIE! - In my mind this was the best-built feud going into WrestleMania. That being said I was rather worried that they wouldn't get any time to have a good match and that the crowd would react like they do to most women's matches, chant for puppies and eventually get bored. Thankfully I was very wrong! First of all they had a very good match minus the finish, which I will discuss. They had Trish go bat shit at the beginning and take it to Mickie as she wanted her revenge for all Mickie had been doing to her. Trish had her where she wanted to, and then missed a kick and nailed the post. Mickie then took over and abused the leg of Trish keeping control and then…then she won the crowd. That crazy Chicago crowd was totally into Mickie James and added heat to the match that is almost NEVER seen in a WWE Women's match. Trish eventually made her comeback, and was about to deliver the "Stratusfaction" when Mickie came up with a great counter; she copped a feel of Trish's cooch! Trish was shocked to say the least, and once again Mickie had a great reaction by licking her hand! Mickie eventually went for the "Stratusfaction" herself, but something went wrong and Trish collapsed and the move was totally botched. The crowd was forgiving, and a chick kick later and Mickie was the new champion.
Foley and Edge steal the show - For me this was easily the best match of the night. As much as I worried about this match, from building it to Foley not being in shape, all of that meant nothing as they came out and delivered big time, yeah, bad pun but I said it. They had a damn good match, with an awesome build all through. Foley took all of Edge's best to start the match, and then took the spear and the fans thought it was over, until Edge came up holding his bloody shoulder. Foley took off his flannel and showed that he was wrapped in barbed wire. He cut it off and proceeded to whip Edge with it to the crowd's delight. They build smartly to the big ending spot, as early on Edge sprayed Foley with "lighter fluid" to tease the table spot. They busted out barby and both got some great color, and it looked if Foley had the match won when Lita nailed Foley with barby in the nuts. Lita then lit the table ablaze and Edge nailed the spear through the ropes and they flew into the table. Edge sold it well as he looked next to death as he crawled for the pin and they smartly played up the spot and ended at the perfect time.
In the end, he not only survived but also thrived in Foley's environment. Edge has been on a roll and this just cemented him in the main event for a long time. Some say the act is old, but once again Mick Foley helped another career. In a small way he helped Austin right after Austin won the title, then Rocky, then HHH, then Randy Orton and now Edge. As much as he helped Edge, he also helped himself by having that "WrestleMania" moment he so craved. Thanks again Mick.
The wRong:
JBL vs. Benoit - I had very high hopes for this match. Benoit always steps it up on PPV, and JBL can go with the right guy and seems always motivated with great workers like Benoit. Let me stress that this wasn't a bad match, merely a disappointing one to me. They worked hard, had great exchanges and JBL's story of trying to show that he was a true wrestling GAWD by defeating such people as Benoit and Eddie was solid. I did hate the Eddie mannerisms, because I really wish that it would die; but it made sense in the context of the match and it wasn't really disrespectful. In the end, it just seemed like they were warmed up when they finished the match. Maybe they were holding back for the rest of the card, and for future matches as to not give it all away, but while this wasn't bad it just fell way below expectations.
HHH vs. Cena - While they definitely had the crowd in the palm of their hand, and that is a big deal, the match failed on a wrestling level. They did their best in trying to make this come off as an epic encounter, and they succeeded to a point, but the match has to be there. There has to be something more than just a crowd reaction as the main event at a WrestleMania, and as such I believe that it failed in that. This isn't a knock on Cena, and this isn't a HHH bashing session. I like both guys, and I think that they could have a good match. But here are the facts, Cena isn't a "great worker" but can be part of good matches. HHH isn't the same HHH of 2000-01 when he was carrying the company. If they would have trimmed some stuff and gone 15 or so minutes, I feel that things could have been better and the match would have been the better for it. But I will give one compliment to this match, not only did they elicit that emotional response from the crowd and keep it, they played off of it very well. So once again, this was not a "bad match" but all things considered with this being the main event of the marquee show of the year, it fell below what it should have been
The Ridiculous:
The Playboy Pillow Fight - I don't give a shit that Candace did Playboy, and I don't give a shit that Torrie has done it in the past. This match happening was a complete waste of time in my opinion. There are times when I buy the cool down match theory, but with a WrestleMania crowd it is rarely needed because, and especially I this case, they tend to be into everything to some degree. The match was 4-minutes, hell, with all the set up time and entrances closer to 10-minutes that could have been used for other things (IE: The SD Title match, a SD Tag Title Match, ect.) that mattered. To me this has no place at WrestleMania, and there is no changing my mind of that.
The T's vs. Boogeyman - This is another match that I feel didn't belong on the card. Besides it being horrible, and the crowd chanting boring it also was a waste of time that could have been used for other matches. Between the 3+ minutes of match, entrances and the backstage skit, this was another vital 10-minutes that could have been used for other things (IE: The SD Title match, a SD Tag Title Match, ect.) that mattered.
Where's My Showcase? - Through out the 3R's of WrestleMania series I complained about two issues constantly; count outs/DQ's and the showcase factor. Well, this year failed at that once again. Shelton was placed into the MITB match, and while he was great in that match that once again left his IC title undefended, and looking like it doesn't matter. Gregory Helms was injured, and they just decided to do nothing so the Cruiserweight title was of course not defended. And then there is MNM. A team that has worked their asses off on Smackdown this past year, jobbed when asked, put on good matches and how were they rewarded? They got to be a part of the special "DVD ONLY" battle royal and lost.
WrestleMania is a chance to showcase the very best of the company, designed to be the biggest show of the year. But in the end we didn't get that. Instead we have a freak-eating worms who can't work to save his ass, Playboy Pillow fights, elaborate entrances and the 66-year old roided up owner of the company getting almost 20-minutes for his match. Oh well, maybe one day I'll get my showcase again.
The Ri-GOD-DAMN-diculous:
Smackdown: We Take it in the Ass Regularly; sans Lube - I shouldn't be surprised. Really, why am I anymore? Smackdown takes it in the ass on a regular basis; yet I seem to think that they may actually get their time to shine. We hear this talk about WrestleMania being the showcase event; often referred to as "the showcase of the Immortals and the Grand Daddy of them all." We here so much about the show and those all to special "WrestleMania Moments" that we as fans crave, and that the company wants to create. Well, they screwed the pooch here without a doubt.
First of all, and I listed all of the other time issued above and problems I had with the show lay out, they got screwed on their time. They didn't even get 10-minutes. This was a WORLD TITLE MATCH, but since it didn't have HBK, HHH or Vince in it they got no love. It is just like last year when Cena won in a total anticlimactic fashion, got no celebration and then got to watch Batista treated like the real star with his fanfare and fireworks.
They took the time to shit on the memory of Eddie Guerrero to get Randy Orton over as a heel and to make Rey the sympathetic baby face. They made sure that he lost matches heading to WrestleMania to make sure that he would be perceived that way. They had the story, they had the right guys to have an outstanding match and it had money written all over it. But they pissed it away. They gave them 9-FUCKING-minutes to have "a classic" which was never going to happen. Rey gets the anticlimactic win and what happens? A quick holding up of the belt, Cole and Tazz half-heartedly praising the win and about 10-seconds of celebration with Chavo and Vickie. Then JR and King started to hype the "REAL TITLE MATCH" of HHH and Cena. They totally missed the boat. They knew the night before that Cena would get the reaction that he did; they should have changed things and had this match as the main event. With cutting the extra entrances of HHH and Cena they would have had another 10-minutes.
Can you imagine if they would have closed the show with this? A grueling 20-minute match, Rey getting the big victory; Chavo, Malenko and Benoit all come to the ring and then finally, Vickie comes down to hug Rey and put a rest to all of this shit and creating a truly "pulling at the heart strings" moment that would have been the perfect ending and a moment that would have lived on in WrestleMania lure forever.
But that didn't happen my friends. Nope. HHH and John Cena had to have their special entrances, they had to go over 20-minutes and we had to end WrestleMania on a lame note. Fuck the fans, fuck giving people what they want, fuck giving us a moment and making us feel good; Raw has to be the superior brand. Smackdown is the bastard stepchild that they like to molest at night because no one cares about them. So great job WWE, you obviously know what you are doing because people will remember that HHH/John Cena finish for weeks. Hey Rey, invest in some K-Y brother, and good luck.
The Overall:
-Best Match: In a Hardcore match, Edge defeated Mick Foley @ 14:36 via pin ****
-Worst Match: The Boogeyman defeated Booker T and Sharmell T @ 3:56 via pin (N-R)
-Score: 7.0
-My Thoughts: WrestleMania was a good show this year. A lot of people I think get blinded by the WrestleMania mystique, and are quick to give it an automatic pass as a great show. In my opinion the show felt short in terms of "The biggest show of the year" but as an overall show it as good, and the junk was kept minimal. I will go 7.0 out of 10 for the show, and a solid recommendation to get the DVD.
