That Was Then 3.30.07: THE STUMANIA AWARDS!
Posted by Stuart Carapola on 03.30.2007
You didn't think I was too manly for Wrestlemania, did you? Let's take a look at the best (and worst) of Wrestlemania through the years.
In the spirit of Wrestlemania time, I decided to hold off on more True Feats Of Manliness for a couple of weeks, and decided that instead, this week's installment of That Was Then would be my own personal Wrestlemania awards column. To put this together, I thoroughly combed the results of all 22 previous Wrestlemanias and took everything into consideration when deciding on the winners of the following 21 awards. Ladies and Gentlemen...the winners of...THE STUMANIA AWARDS.
Best Tag Team: Demolition
Admittedly, they didn't have much competition in a promotion that has never been known for their quality tag team wrestling, but during the one time in their history when the WWF had a deep tag team division, Demolition were the top dogs, and they showed it with three impressive wins at Wrestlemania. At Wrestlemania 4, they defeated Strike Force to win their first WWF Tag Team Title in what amounted to little more than a squash, followed it up with a succesful title defense in a handicap match against the Powers Of Pain and Mr Fuji at Wrestlemania 5, then won their third Tag Team Title by defeating Andre The Giant and Haku at Wrestlemania 6. Notwithstanding their strange Wrestlemania 7 loss to Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao (by which point original member Ax had been replaced by Crush), they won three Tag Team Title matches at Wrestlemania, and no other team can boast that.
Worst Tag Team: Big Show & Albert
No, they were never regular tag team partners, but when Nathan Jones was laid out backstage before he was scheduled to team with the Undertaker against Show and Albert at Wrestlemania 19, the match turned into a handicap match. They both had the Undertaker outweighed and outmuscled by themselves, but when put together, the odds were heavily in their favor against the Undertaker, yet they still lost. Think about this, they were in a better position than anyone in history to put that first blemish on the Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak, and even the two of them couldn't get it done. What a couple of losers.
Biggest Win: Owen Hart defeats Bret Hart at Wrestlemania 10
A lot of modern fans who are used to seeing everyone on the roster trading wins and losses on almost a weekly basis may not realize that there was more of a hierarchy in the WWF back in the early 90s, and the guys on the bottom NEVER beat the guys at the top. Bret, as a former WWF Champion, King Of The Ring, and Royal Rumble winner, was firmly at the top. Owen, who had spent most of 1992 and 1993 jobbing to anything that moved, was firmly at the bottom. When it was announced that they would meet at Wrestlemania 10, there weren't many people who thought Owen had a hope in hell of beating Bret. To their surprise, Owen not only defeated Bret, but handed him a completely clean win in what still stands as his biggest win not only at Wrestlemania, but probably in his career. This win alone turned Owen into a top-level star overnight, and he followed it up with a win in the King Of The Ring and spent much of the second half of 1994 challenging for the WWF World Title, a situation which nobody would have believed even a year before.
Most Heartbreaking Loss: Randy Savage loses the WWF Title to Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania 5
On the surface, it might just seem like the natural order of things: anyone who holds a title is eventually going to lose it, and Savage was just the latest in a series of friends who had turned against Hulk Hogan and paid the price. But take a deeper look at the situation: when Randy Savage won the WWF Title for the first time, Hulk Hogan was there and had his hands on the belt before Savage did. During his entire title reign, Savage had the shadow of Hulkamania looming over him, and also had to deal with Hogan, intentionally or not, getting between he and Elizabeth. He had the best friend and tag team partner anyone could have asked for, but to keep him he always had to live in his shadow. He finally turned on Hogan in order to prove himself, and even though he truly believed that he could beat Hogan, he still lost. He not only lost the match, but he lost his woman, his best friend, his WWF World Title, and his pride. You can't have a much worse loss than that.
Best Gimmick Match: TLC2 (Wrestlemania 17)
As the biggest show of the year, Wrestlemania has had its fair share of gimmicm matches, and while the gimmicks have ranged from good to incredibly bad, none came close to touching the two three way matches that Edge & Christian, the Hardy Boyz, and the Dudley Boyz had at Wrestlemania 16 and 17, and I picked what I consider to be the better of the two. Between these two matches, the Money In The Bank matches, and the famous Michaels-Razor ladder match, ladders have seen plenty of action at Wrestlemania, but this match went above and beyond anything seen in any gimmick match at any Wrestlemania. The bumps were bigger, the moves crazier, and the spots more complicated. The fact that Edge & Christian followed up their wins in the first ladder match and TLC1 with a third win against the other two teams makes it that much more impressive.
Worst Gimmick Match: The Blindfold Match (Wrestlemania 7)
In all fairness, we shouldn't have expected very much out of a match where two guys are going to stumble around the ring pretending they can't see each other, but this was really bad. I think there was a total of maybe four successful wrestling moves in the entire match, which went almost ten minutes, and the whole rest of the match had them slowly stalking around grabbing at thin air. It made Khali matches look like Flair-Steamboat by comparison.
Best Wrestlemania Moment: Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth reunite (Wrestlemania 7)
As sad and pathetic as it was watching Savage walk out of Wrestlemania 5 having lost everything, he and Elizabeth reuniting two years later was so emotionally overwhelming in a way that would probably be lost on a lot of today's fans. Savage had been a bitter man fighting to prove himself ever since he lost the WWF Title, and not only had he not gotten close to regaining the title, but he actually lost his career at Wrestlemania 7. After being totally and utterly defeated by the Ultimate Warrior, he was the victim of a beating by his frustrated manager Queen Sherri, who was now out of a job because of Savage's loss. Elizabeth was at ringside for what would be Savage's biggest match, and as she sat there watching him being beaten by Sherri, she finally couldn't take anymore and ran into the ring and tossed Sherri to the floor. Savage slowly coming to realize that it was Sherri who was beating him up and that it was Elizabeth who had saved him turned into him realizing that after all the bad things he had done over the past couple of years, she still loved him, and when they finally embraced in the middle of the ring, as Bobby Heenan put it, there wasn't a dry eye in the place. There were many people in the arena who were crying at the farytale of the man who had lost everything and even his career, but now had a happy ending with the woman he loved and who loved him despite it all.
Worst Wrestlemania Moment: Butterbean knocking out Bart Gunn (Wrestlemania 15)
This was, hands down, the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to any wrestler in the history of Wrestlemania. There had been other embarrassing losses in Wrestlemania history, but the difference is that none of them were a shoot and this one was. I don't know if anyone who put this together seriously believed that Bart Gunn had a hope in hell of beating Butterbean, and I give Bart all the credit in the world for giving it his best shot, but it was over almost before it began. Bart got in a few punches before Butterbean put him down with a flurry of his own, Bart got back to his feet, and was immediately knocked out cold by a big right hand. Bart Gunn was never again seen in the WWF after this, but his later success in Japan and three WWF World Tag Team Titles not withstanding, this is what Bart Gunn will forever be remembered for in the United States.
Best Angle: The Bret Hart/Steve Austin double turn (Wrestlemania 13)
Say what you will about Vince McMahon, but no matter how much crap he insists on shoveling down our throats on a regular basis, he does hear the fans and every once in a while, he will give the fans what they want. He knew as early as Survivor Series the previous year that Steve Austin was becoming far more popular than Bret Hart, even though Austin was supposed to be the heel and Hart was supposed to be the babyface. Over the next couple of months, an angle was done where Bret would always seem to have success in hand, only to have it snatched away at the last minute, most often by Steve Austin's interference. Bret's character became more and more whiny and obnoxious, and the whole angle finally culminated at Wrestlemania when Hart, having won the Submission Match against Austin when Austin passed out from the pain, again felt cheated because Austin passed out without ever submitting. He continued attacking Austin after the match and, after being pulled off of Austin by special referee Ken Shamrock, suddenly noticed that the entire place was booing him. He couldn't handle the fact that despite trying to do it the right way, the fans kept turning against him and he left in a huff. Austin, in the meanwhile, slowly picked himself up and, refusing offers for help from the referees (by beating them up), he dragged himself out of the ring and to the back to the thunderous cheers of the live crowd. It is probably the best example ever of a successful double turn.
Worst Angle: Hulk Hogan wins the WWF Title at Wrestlemania 9
In one of the most infamous power plays of his career, Hulk Hogan walked out of Wrestlemania 9 with the WWF Title, yet wasn't ever scheduled to challenge for the title that night. He wrestled earlier in the evening and, following Yokozuna's victory over Bret Hart to win the WWF Title, Hulk Hogan came out to the ring to check on his "friend" Bret Hart. While he was helping Bret out of the ring, Yokozuna's manager Mr Fuji issued a challenge to Hogan for an immediate title shot, Hogan accepted, and thirty seconds later was the new WWF Champion. It was one of the most contrived finishes of any Wrestlemania, and was a black eye on what was already considered by many to be the worst Wrestlemania of them all.
Best Match: Bret Hart vs Steve Austin (Wrestlemania 13)
Yes, not only did I consider it the best angle in Wrestlemania history, but the best match as well. The Survivor Series match showed that Austin could go hold for hold with Bret, but this one showed that Bret could go in a total brawl situation. In a scene that was a radical departure from most Bret Hart matches, but became the pattern for most of Steve Austin's later PPV main events, they immediately left the ring and brawled all through the crowd, fighting all over the floor for a good five to seven minutes before getting back in the ring and starting the actual match. From there, rather than work over a body part and try for a submission like most envisioned the match beforehand, it was a total fight which included weapons like the bell, video cables, and chairs. Austin got busted open and was bleeding heavily, but kept fighting, and even when he was locked in the Sharpshooter, he fought like hell and nearly escaped, but he was too weak and Bret got him right back in the hold. A bloody Austin still held on for another while, but he finally passed out from the pain and Ken Shamrock, after telling him "If you do not answer me I will stop the match!", rang the bell and awarded the match to Bret...but Austin never quit.
Worst Match: Bill Goldberg vs Brock Lesnar (Wrestlemania 20)
This match was disappointing because a lot of people had high hopes for this match beforehand and, knowing that Goldberg was on his way out, thought that this would be a huge victory which would just solidify Lesnar's spot at the top in his very young career. Instead, it came out a week before Wrestlemania that Lesnar was leaving too, and now people were wondering who was going to win, not because they couldn't figure out who would have a greater upside to winning like in most matches, but because they couldn't figure out who Vince wanted to bury worse on the way out. As it turned out, it was Lesnar, but boy did we have a fun time getting there. Actually, we didn't because it was one of the most boring matches of all time. In fact, the most entertaining thing was the crowd at Madison Square Garden razzing both guys and, even though I briefly felt a pride in being a New Yorker, I quickly noticed that we were two minutes into the match and they hadn't touched yet. They exchanged shoulderblocks, did a test of strength, and went nowhere. They finally hit a few power moves, but when Goldberg kicked out of the F5, you knew right then and there who was getting buried on their way home. Goldberg finally put us out of our misery by hitting the spear and Jackhammer on Lesnar, and then Steve Austin vindicated us all by giving both men the Stunner. Lord knows I would have loved to do it to them, too.
Best Wrestlemania: Wrestlemania 17
Not only do I consider this the best Wrestlemania of all time, but the best PPV in wrestling history. I don't care what you NWA snoots say, Great American Bash 89 doesn't even come close. This show had it all, and in addition to my top gimmick match, TLC2, it had a great Kurt Angle-Chris Benoit match that was sadly overshadowed by their match at Royal Rumble 03, an entertaining as hell Gimmick Battle Royal, Triple H vs Undertaker in one of the few Wrestlemania matches people thought the Undertaker could lose, and Rock vs Austin in what I consider the best main event in Wrestlemania history despite the screwy finish. This was the peak of the Attitude Era and was one week removed from Vince McMahon's purchase of WCW. All the stars were aligned, the WWF was at the top of the world in every way imaginable, and I don't think they could have put on a bad show if they tried. What they ended up giving us was the greatest.
Worst Wrestlemania: Wrestlemania 2
With the exception of the decent Hogan-Bundy main event and the unique concept of running from three different cities, this one was a total stinker. The idea was a good one, but each site got four matches, then sat there and watched the rest of the show on closed circuit, and it just didn't work. The matches were plodding, uninspired, and often incredibly short, the show was overloaded with celebrities, and I honestly believe that if Wrestlemania 2 was Wrestlemania 1, we never would have gotten a Wrestlemania 2. I often wondered why I could never find Wrestlemania 2 at the video stores, but after I finally found it, I realized why. It sucked.
Biggest Surprise: The Ultimate Warrior returns at Wrestlemania 8
Ever since he disappeared at Summerslam 91, people had been begging for the Warrior to return, and when he made his surprise return to save Hulk Hogan from an attack by Sid Justice and Papa Shango at Wrestlemania 8, it blew the roof off the place because nobody really expected it. His actual run after returning was mostly uneventful outside of one good match with Randy Savage and he was gone again before the end of the year, but for that one night it was a special event.
Laughingstock Of Wrestlemania: Bam Bam Bigelow
Bart Gunn's loss to Butterbean was embarrassing, yes, but Bam Bam Bigelow lost to a football player in the main event of Wrestlemania. Did Lawrence Taylor put on a performance far beyond what anyone could have realistically expected out of him? Yes, but he still beat Bam Bam and then never wrestled again. Bam Bam was supposedly promised a push if he agreed to lose to Taylor, but he was instead depushed and his career never recovered. No matter what else Bam Bam accomplished in his career, the Lawrence Taylor match is what everyone remembers most about him, and he became the joke of an entire generation of wrestling fans.
Top Wrestlemania Celebrity: Mr T
For this award, it basically came down to Mr T, Lawrence Taylor, or Mike Tyson. Tyson drew attention, but was almost a non-factor in Wrestlemania 14 itself, and while Lawrence Taylor was impressive, it was a one shot deal that had no (positive) long term effect on the WWF's business. Mr T, on the other hand, combined the best of what both men had to ffer, both drawing media attention just by his involvement and also by being a participant in the main event of the first Wrestlemania, and if his match failed to draw, the WWF would have died right then and there. He didn't do it alone, but his involvement was a big factor in Wrestlemania doing as well as it did, and without him neither Taylor nor Tyson would have ever had the chance to get involved.
Miss Wrestlemania: Trish Stratus
There is no contest here as far as I'm concerned. One year after her Wrestlemania debut, she was involved in an angle with Vince McMahon at Wrestlemania 17, then over the course of the next several years, she was always in the Women's Title scene with the exception of one year when she was involved in another great angle, this time a love triangle between herself, Christian, and Chris Jericho. It's hard to argue that any woman in the modern era has had more impact than Trish Stratus, and this applies at Wrestlemania as well.
Best Manager: Bobby Heenan
This was another one where there wasn't much competition, but Heenan was tops where Wrestlemania was concerned. Of course his biggest moment was managing Andre against Hogan at Wrestlemania 3, but he had high profile appearances with others as well, including managing King Kong Bundy against Hogan at Wrestlemania 2, managing Big John Studd against Andre at the first Wrestlemania, leading Rick Rude to the Intercontinental Title over the Ultimate Warrior and other victories for men like the Islanders, the Barbarian, Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard. While his men weren't always successful (he was a heel manager at the annual blowoff show, after all), he was all over all the first several events, and then still had a presence as an announcer even after retiring from managing.
Wrestlemania Honor Award: Gorilla Monsoon
Often recognized as one of the classic announcers, the first eight Wrestlemanias just would not have been the same if it wasn't for the commentary of Gorilla Monsoon. Whether he was working with Jesse Ventura, Bobby Heenan, or anyone else, he always had things well in hand and sold the matches and angles better than anyone, Jim Ross included, has been able to do since. In fact, his final announcing appearance at Wrestlemania was to hand off the duties to Jim Ross at WM9, and he soon segued into his role as WWF President, and presided over the Ironman Match at Wrestlemania 12 between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels. He made one final appearance as a judge for the ill-fated Brawl For All at Wrestlemania 19, but was sadly deteriorated by that point, and would die a few months later. Gorilla Monsoon had a big impact on the WWF, and Wrestlemania in particular would have been totally different without him.
Mr Wrestlemania: Hulk Hogan
Say what you will about him, call him the Antichrist, whatever, the fact is that Wrestlemania and WWE wouldn't exist in its current form today without Hulk Hogan. He was the man who carried the first nine shows by himself. Yes, Savage and Steamboat had a classic, but Hogan and Andre sold the show. Yes, Piper passing the torch to Bret was a huge moment, but Hogan's possible retirement sold the show. Before Bret, before Shawn, before Austin, before Triple H, before Cena, Hogan was the man who carried Wrestlemania, and his record cannot be argued with. Yes, Undertaker has a better average, but his only real meaningful wins were against Triple H and Ric Flair. Hogan beat Bundy, he beat Andre, he beat Savage, he beat Yokozuna, he even beat Vince McMahon, and he did business twice and put over the Ultimate Warrior and The Rock, and both are still considered the biggest wins either man ever got. Wrestlemania owes its very existence to Hulk Hogan, and there's nobody who deserves this award more than he does.
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Maybe I'll come back and do this again next year, but I'd be interested to hear what you guys think and who you would pick. If you can find it in your heart, write me at stuwrestling@hotmail.com and let me know what your picks are and what you thought of my picks. I'll be back in tomorrow with Friendly Competition. Later.
